CONFIDENT CREATING
By Eric Maisel

If you want to live a creative life and make your mark in some competitive art field like writing, film-making, the visual arts, or music, and if at the same time you want to live an emotionally healthy life full of love and satisfaction, you need an intimate understanding of certain key ideas and how they relate to the creative process.

One key idea is that you must act confidently whether or not you feel confident. You need to manifest confidence in every stage of the creative process if you want to get your creative work accomplished. Here’s what confidence looks like throughout the creative process.

Stage 1. Wishing

‘Wishing’ is a pre-contemplation stage where you haven’t really decided that you intend to create. You dabble at making art, you don’t find your efforts very satisfying, and you don’t feel that you go deep all that often. The confidence that you need to manifest during this stage of the process is the confidence that you are equal to the rigors of creating. If you don’t confidently accept the reality of process and the reality of difficulty you may never really get started.

Stage 2. Incubation/Contemplation

During this second stage of the process you need to be able to remain open to what wants to come rather than defensively settling on a first idea or an easy idea. The task is remaining open and not settling for something that relieves your anxiety and your discomfort. The confidence needed here is the confidence to stay open.

Stage 3. Choosing Your Next Subject

Choosing is a crucial part of the creative process. At some point you need the confidence to say, “I am ready to work on this.”  You need the confidence to name a project clearly (even if that naming is “Now I go to the blank canvas without a pre-conceived idea and just start”), to commit to it, and to make sure that you aren’t leaking confidence even as you choose this project.

Stage 4. Starting Your Work

When you start a new creative work you start with certain ideas for the work, certain hopes and enthusiasms, certain doubts and fears – that is, you start with an array of thoughts and feelings, some positive and some negative. The confidence you need at that moment is the confidence that you can weather all those thoughts and feelings and the confidence to go into the unknown.

Stage 5. Working

Once you are actually working on your creative project, you enter into the long process of fits and starts, ups and downs, excellent moments and terrible moments – the gamut of human experiences that attach to real work. For this stage you need the confidence that you can deal with your own doubts and resistances and the confidence that you can handle whatever the work throws at you.

Stage 6. Completing

At some point you will be near completing the work. It is often hard to complete what we start because then we are obliged to appraise it, learn if it is good or bad, deal with the rigors of showing and selling, and so on. The confidence required during this stage is the confidence to weather the very ideas of appraisal, criticism, rejection, disappointment and everything else that we fear may be coming once we announce that the work is done.

Stage 7. Showing

A time comes when we are obliged to show our work. The confidence needed here is not only the confidence to weather the ideas of appraisal, criticism, and rejection but the confidence to weather the reality of appraisal, criticism, and rejection. Like so many other manifestations of confidence, the basic confidence here sounds like “Bring it on!” You are agreeing to let the world do its thing and announcing that you can survive any blows that the world delivers.

Stage 8. Selling

A confident seller can negotiate, think on her feet, make pitches and presentations, advocate for her work, explain why her work is wanted, and so on. You don’t have to be over-confident, exuberant, over the top – you simply need to get yourself to the place of being a calmly confident seller, someone who first makes a thing and then sells it in a business-like manner.

Stage 9: New Incubation and Contemplation

While you are showing and selling your completed works you are also incubating and contemplating new projects and starting the process all over again. The confidence required here is the confident belief that you have more good ideas in you. You want to confidently assert that you have plenty more to say and plenty more to do – even if you don’t know what that “something” is quite yet.

Stage 10: Simultaneous and Shifting States and Stages

I’ve made the creative process sound rather neat and linear and usually it is anything but. Often we are stalled on one thing, contemplating another thing, trying to sell a third thing, and so on. The confidence needed throughout the process is the quiet, confident belief that you can stay organized, successfully handle all of the thoughts and feelings going on inside of you, get your work done, and manage everything. This is a juggler’s confidence—it is you announcing, “You bet that I can keep all of these balls in the air!”

Manifest confidence throughout the creative process. Failing to manifest confidence at any stage will stall the process. It isn’t easy living the artist’s life: the work is taxing, the shadows of your personality interfere, and the art marketplace if fiercely competitive. If you learn some key ideas, for instance that you must act confidently whether or not you feel confident, you give yourself the best chance possible for a productive and rewarding life in the arts.

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Eric Maisel is the author of Making Your Creative Mark and twenty other creativity titles including Mastering Creative Anxiety, Brainstorm, Creativity for Life, and Coaching the Artist Within. America’s foremost creativity coach, he is widely known as a creativity expert who coaches individuals and trains creativity coaches through workshops and keynotes nationally and internationally. He has blogs on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today and writes a column for Professional Artist Magazine. Visit him online at http://www.ericmaisel.com.

Adapted from the new book Making Your Creative Mark ©2013 by Eric Maisel.  Published with permission of New World Library http://www.newworldlibrary.com

by Alicia Forest, MBA
The Business Shifter™

Are you the kind of business owner who tends to hide behind your computer screen? You network online through discussion lists and other virtual forums, but you’re hesitant to leave the comfort of your home office to actually meet others in person?

Whether you’re a natural introvert or extrovert, attending live events and meeting peers and colleagues in person can make a dramatic difference in the success of your business. If you’ve been the lone wolf type, it’s time to get out and start gathering with your pack.

When I was in the public relations/higher education field, I attended dozens of conferences, but when I started my consulting practice, money was tight and it took me a few years to get back out on the circuit.

The first event I attended in my capacity as a consultant/coach changed my business and my life. I hesitated about attending because it was a lot of money to invest back then and I was going to be starting over in a way in a new industry, which were both risks for me at the time.

Was it worth it? Let’s just say that I still have the card from the Irish pub my husband and I went to the final evening of the event where we figured out how I was going to make this business work. It really is when everything changed.

Not only did I learn a ton of great stuff, I met some amazing people who have become colleagues, joint venture partners and even friends. And I truly believe that what you put out is what you get back, and by attending this event, I was sending the message that I was ready to start playing big.

One of the best investments you can make in your business is in your continuous learning, by attending events, as well as investing in high-quality education products and programs. Part of my own marketing budget is dedicated solely to my learning (and believe me, it’s hard to keep the lid on it!).

So, are you thinking maybe you’ll take the risk and attend a live event in your industry?

Here are some specific reasons why you should:

1. Dedicated time and focus on the event topic

I bet you have at least a few books, CDs, home study courses, etc. that you’ve probably listened to or read, but that you haven’t actually applied. I know I do. And I also know that when I get out of my office and dedicate time and focus to one thing, I make some big breakthroughs.

2. Sharing space with like-minded individuals

Nothing inspires me more than being around others who are as passionate about what we do as I am. Collaborations come naturally and we easily share ideas and resources. Taking the time to share space with these folks helps keep me motivated and excited about moving forward.

3. More high-quality connections

Not only do I end up with a ton of business cards, but there’s also a handful of strategic partnership opportunities, as well as new ezine subscribers and new customers of my products. And by attending an event comprised of others in my industry, the quality of the connections I’m making is much higher for my business building than attending something like a local chamber event.

4. Discounts on materials to increase your learning

Typically the speakers of these events will offer special discounts to attendees on their products and programs. And if the event has vendor booths, the same usually applies. Events are a great place to “shop” for the next tool that will help boost your business.

5. It’s guaranteed and tax-deductible

I think this is something most small business owners forget. They just look at the price tag of the event, and then shy away. But remember, whatever you put out as an investment in your business is tax-deductible. Be sure to check with your accountant for details, but stop to think about how much you could increase your bottom line by attending the event, instead of how much it costs.

Besides, most reputable events offer a money-back guarantee, so if you really felt it wasn’t worthwhile, you can always ask for a refund.

6. Meet the experts

Most of the time, the speakers at the events are accessible, so don’t be shy and go on up and introduce yourself. You may not have another chance and you never know where that connection may lead!

7. Enjoy yourself outside of the event

Don’t forget that you can take in the place where the event is being held. Do a little research ahead of time and plan at least some time away from the event to enjoy wherever it is you’re visiting, even if it’s in your home state.

Once you’re home and recovered from being out and about at the event, you’ll be both excited and recharged to jump in with all your new knowledge and connections!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – please share them in the comments below…

I don’t know why but some of us seem to be hard-wired to go it alone! I know that my tendency is to figure it out for myself before I will ask for help. Yet over the last few years, I’ve learned to embrace that asking for help is not a reflection on my inability to go it alone, but in fact a reflection of how much I think what I do and who I am is worthy of receiving help.

Here are 3 simple ways to ask for help in your business that will move you towards success with much more ease and grace:

1. Inner Circle Support

I’m blessed in that I have a husband who supports the work I do and the business I’ve been creating since its inception in 2001. Yet I know this is a hot button for a lot of entrepreneurs, that they don’t feel they have the spousal or partner support they crave.

While I don’t have THE answer to getting your significant other onboard, I did have a personal aha that I will share that may help a bit.

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter if your spouse, partner, parent or anyone else significant in your life thinks what you do matters. It only matters that YOU think it matters.

Logically, you know you can’t change people, only your response to people. You may wish you felt more support than you do, but wishing won’t make it so. What will change your feeling is if you change how you feel about what you perceive to be their lack of support. If you remember that it only matters that YOU know what you do matters, that will make all the difference.

2. Peer Support

Whether you invest in a group with leader or gather your best business friends together on a regular basis, give yourself the gift of peer support in some way. It’s critical for ongoing help but even more important during those times when you’re between private mentor support.

At an event I attended recently, I was surrounded by colleagues who had become friends over the years, and it was very clear to me that the support I was receiving from those friends was more important that the actual content I had come to learn. But if I hadn’t reached out asking for that support, I wouldn’t have had the critical shifts I needed to experience at this point in my business to move it forward.

3. Outside Support

Sometimes we need support for our business from places outside it altogether. Whether it’s engaging in a favorite sport, hobby or activity, or meditating or journaling, taking time off and completely unplugging, or having a conversation with a supportive friend who doesn’t have anything to do with what we do for work and just might have that unique perspective to shift ours that we need.

Where in you life can you ask for support that will help your business?

And that’s the point – to ask for the support we need. Take it from a former lone ranger… once you start asking and stay open to receiving, miracles can happen.

Designing a business that you love around the life you want is one of the pillars on which I stand and teach. Learn how to do this for YOUR business (and life) at my annual Online Business Breakthrough Workshop HERE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below…

If you’re running your own business, you’re going to have days, weeks, even months, when Life shows up and shifts all of your best laid plans. Of course, the beauty of being your own boss is that you have a great amount of freedom and flexibility, so how do you roll with it when all those plans go awry?

Here are 3 simple ways to ride it out with as much ease and grace as possible:

1. Let Go

Planned on getting that sales page done? Wanted to finish writing those final chapters of your book? Hoped to attend a networking event? Set up to shoot that video series? Write your new free taste? Offer a new program?

But then Life threw a wrench into your plans and so nothing happened. A child or a parent is sick and needs you, your computer died, you got the flu, your child is having trouble in school, you’ve had a fight with a loved one, or some other emotional or physical upheaval has occurred.

I’m a planner, and I’ve learned, especially once I had the kids, that things don’t often go to plan. And if I don’t want to be frustrated and stressed, then I need to be flexible and patient (and yes, that’s still hard sometimes).

The only thing you can do when your heart, mind and energy is needed elsewhere is to go with it. Let go of the plan and go where you are needed.

2. The ‘One Thing’ Rule

I want to share with you one of my secrets to my enduring success that you can apply when your plan gets knocked off-track or you find yourself with little time to work on your business.

Ask yourself this one simple question:

What’s the ONE THING I can do today to move my business forward?

When you simply don’t have the capacity or the time to work your plan, there is often one thing that you can do that will make you feel that you accomplished something in that day, which will help to fortify you moving forward.

3. Get support

Of course, sailing more smoothly through troubled waters requires support – family, friend, colleague, mentor, and business assistant support.

When Life is tumultuous, reach out for the support you need to help you through. Whether it’s a shoulder to lean on, a vent session, an emergency call, or adding another team member – reach out and support yourself by asking for whatever kind of help you need.

And remember, tomorrow is another day.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – share them with me below…

If your business feels stagnant or you’re just not as enthused about it as you want to be, some of the things to look at are if your current look and feel, messaging, and model are aligned with who you are and the work you most want to do. Often times, a simple ‘refresh’ of what we’re doing, that’s more closely aligned with who we are today and the work that makes us light up inside, can move the energy and rekindle your enthusiasm.

Here are 3 simple ways you can hit the refresh button in your business today:

1. Look and Feel

When you look at your website, what does it feel like to you? Does it make you smile? Does it give off the energy you want it to? Does it work the way you want it to? Do you love it?

When you look at your marketing materials, ask yourself the same questions. If you’re not feeling it with your stuff, chances are that your target market isn’t either.

As you grow personally and as your business grows, your look and feel should change to reflect more accurately your current state of being.

For example, it’s been about 4 years since I’ve had new photos, new site design, and new messaging and marketing materials, so I am overdue for a refresh.

Where in your business can you refresh the look and feel to more accurately reflect where you are in your business today?

2. Message

Think about the main message you deliver to your market. Is that message still accurate? Has it changed over the last year? Does it feel like it needs to change to more accurately reflect who you serve and how you serve them?

As you become more clear about what it is that you do and to whom you do it for and with, you’ll want to adjust your message accordingly.

For example, my message for the last few years has been about mentoring women entrepreneurs to break through to 6 figures and beyond so they can live the life they ache for. And while that is still true, it’s become clearer to me what really matters is not the 6 figures necessarily, but what really matters to them personally – and that will be reflected in my new messaging.

3. Model

Take a mini-audit of your offerings. What parts of the work that you do do you love to delivery and in what way? What parts could you let go of and feel really great about?

For example, after two years of year-long coaching programs, I reduced them to 9-month programs. When I restarted a monthly membership, I changed from live teleclasses to pre-recorded ones. I now offer virtual retreats in addition to in-person retreats. All of these changes better suit my chosen lifestyle and resonate with my best clients as well.

What changes can you make in your business model to better serve you?

Designing a business that you love around your life is one of the pillars on which I stand and teach. Learn how to do this for YOUR business (and life) at my annual Online Business Breakthrough Workshop here.

© 2013 Alicia Forest International | All rights reserved.

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Alicia Forest, MBA mentors women entrepreneurs on how to build a priority-based, highly profitable business, in less than part-time hours. Get her FREE series on how you can do this too at http://aliciaforest.com

By Alicia Forest, MBA
The Business Shifter™

Upon Arrival, Proceed to Baggage Claim
An Excerpt from Nurturing the Soul of Your Family

Relationships of all types can be challenging. In particular, family members, partners, and children often develop a sixth sense for how to push our buttons. For myself, to become less reactive, I’ve had to slowly become more self-aware, compassionate, loving toward myself, and attuned to my needs — which has made me a much more emotionally present parent and partner.

Some of the keys are to show up in our relationships with a soft and open heart, a healthy perspective, and a full cup rather than a half-empty one. Before we can do that, however, we have to examine ourselves: we have to release and heal old self-limiting beliefs by understanding what we’re holding on to and why.

We all have emotional baggage. Ever heard the phrase “the issues are in the tissues”? Our beliefs, scars, and old patterns from our family lineage, childhood, culture, education, and birth order all significantly affect our worldview and habitual ways of being. These, in turn, guide how we show up and relate to our family members.

Some days we get easily triggered. Maybe our child not putting their dirty clothes in the laundry room sends us over the edge, while other days they could break the front door and we’d just roll with it. Our state of being has the most impact on how we respond to external circumstances. Some days we receive the gift of observing when we’re stuck in an old pattern or way of seeing things, and other times we just feel stuck, or else constantly critical or judgmental, thinking of our partner or children: “If they’d just listen to me, we’d all be happier!”

When this happens, look inward to see if you have any unclaimed baggage. For instance, when my son, Jonah, was about to turn ten, he and I went through a really difficult patch. He’s a beautiful, passionate, mature, intense kid, and as he reached adolescence, his level of defiance at times overwhelmed me. A simple request to finish homework or put his dirty dishes in the sink could invoke an emotional tsunami. Since I have a tendency to be controlling, our interactions were a Molotov cocktail.

After a particularly hard stretch involving lots of crying jags (mostly mine), I called Terri, a parent educator, and asked if my husband and I could see her for a session. I was exhausted from the stressful interchanges and needed help. After I explained our situation, Terri turned to me and gently shared, “You are going through mourning — Jonah is no longer a child. He’s an adolescent.” Terri went on to highlight some of the science around early-adolescent behavior  and how best to support my son; in short, offer love and acceptance, not solutions and tips for improvement. After that illuminating session, things got much easier in our home — not yellow-brick-road happy, but the crying and yelling diminished greatly.

In part, the improvement occurred because my husband and I tweaked our language and gave Jonah more freedom, but mostly things changed because my husband and I shifted ourselves internally. We realized we were holding unrealistic, supersized fears that were causing us to be overly critical; our heads had become filled with visions of our out-of-control nine-year-old turning into a sixteen-year-old heroin addict. We were “parenting from the future” and from our own fears and wounds, rather than from the present moment, which was what our son most needed. This aha moment and shift in our awareness are what created the big shift in our family dynamic that we needed. Often we have to break down in order to break through.

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Life balance coach/speaker Renée Peterson Trudeau is the author of the new book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family.  Thousands of women in ten countries are participating in Personal Renewal Groups based on her first book, the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. Visit her online at www.ReneeTrudeau.com

Excerpted from the new book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family ©2013 Renée Peterson Trudeau.  Published with permission of New World Library http://www.newworldlibrary.com