Alien Hockey

Hockey Season Update

2012-01-22T20:15:00.003-06:00

After 16 regular season games and 2 scrambles, the league is at the midway point. My hope is that everyone is having a great season, and the 2nd half is just as good as the first. Since we have some new players in the league this year, I thought I'd give my usual comments about league play.

After playing in adult leagues for many years, I have come to realize the following is always true. There will be a team that has a majority of the wins and a team that will have a majority of the losses. For our season, our top 3 teams are within 4 points of each other. In a perfect world, every team would be .500, but that is never the case. There are too many variables that can effect the outcome of a game.

Are your best player's missing during certain games?
Do you have less players show up for the 10 PM game?
Was there a mis-match in lines during some shifts where their best players were against your lesser skilled players?

These are just a few of the factors that can affect the outcome of a game and in turn affect the standings. The goal of our league is to get as close to league parity as possible. We try to do this by creating teams that "on paper" are as even as possible. If we list every team's players from most skilled to least skilled and put these lists side by side, we'd like to see an even distribution all the way down the roster.

We also play a sport that is very competitive and most players in the league play hard and play to win. There is nothing wrong with this as long as it does not come at the expense of sportsmanship or over aggressive play. Too often, I see players that think they have to play "angry" or "physical" in order to be competitive. It's these players that end up being reviewed at the end of the season and possibly asked to not return. We have players in our league that are very skilled (I'm sure everyone knows who these are) and I never hear a complaint about them. These players play with the right attitude and can still play competitive.

At the same time, we have players that play with an attitude that may rub others wrong. These players believe that an extra shove or push in a necessary part of hockey, but they don't realize that this only puts them on the radar and doesn't help them. We are not the NHL and we play in a non-contact, recreational adult league. This doesn't mean you won't get bumped or have any contact, but I see times where players want to take this to another level and flex their muscle or show their hockey toughness. This will only get you suspended and possibly banned to play in the future.

In the end, I'm just asking players to look at their own style of play. Ask yourself if your actions are interpreted as "malicious" or unnecessary. Look at other players around you. Are their players you know who are very skilled, but you enjoy playing against? The idea is to have a good time, but to also have those around enjoy playing with you. This is a primary reason for our scramble games... to get to know those that you may not know.

Hope everyone has a great rest of the season!

It's Scramble Time!

2012-01-14T17:35:00.002-06:00

Just as the NHL All-Star game is fast approaching, so is our scramble game. There are much similarities between these 2 events, but our event is so much better because everyone is an All-Star! Okay, maybe not everyone is an All-Star, but we did pay our league fees so we should all be allowed to play.

I did my best to mix things up again for this 2nd scramble. That doesn't mean it's an exact science, so don't get all Mitt Romney on me and start taking out attack ads. I believe anyone that played a late game last time, should not have the late game again. Outside of that, I went down last weeks rosters and assigned to a different team as I went down the list. This means you may play again with someone you already have played with. Players that "share" a spot are both allowed to play in the scramble, so everyone in the league should be on a team.

If you believe something is wrong (like if someone is missing), let me know. If you think your team stinks and that the teams are unfair, you should let your new teammates know that in the locker room before your game so they can appropriately beat you down.

The schedule will be the same as last time:

7:15 Team 1 vs Team 2

8:35 Team 3 vs Team 4

9:55 Team 5 vs Team 6

Jersey colors are listed by the team name.

Lastly, no substitutions, swapping teams, trades, etc. without league approval. Also, no playing multiple games as this will only screw up the mathematically calculated team balance I have spent days working on.

Here they are:

Team 1 (white)

Kacy Reeves - Goalie

Richard Huyck

Nataliya Dudechenko

Brad Dean

Dave Gannon

Dave Green

Mark Lee

Mitch Stein

Will Koch

Mikey Dylo

Lisa Schumacher

David Stember

Nick Dawson

Brendan McCallum

Dustin Gordon

Andrew Mellein

Shaun Greene

Team 2 (dark)

Eric Keese - Goalie

Adam Schneiders

Nick Hrabak

Laura Stein - IR

Rich Cohan

Ben Paoli

Rob Wheeler

Dave Miller

Dane Maxwell

Adam Lowell

Chad Beyer

Dan Hickey

Dusty Beenan

Pat Houlihan

Terry Sindelar

Chris Hansen

Nick Giunta

Team 3 (white)

Tony Hansen - goalie

Chris LeFleur

Tom Kirvan

Dan Bishop

Rich Hrabak

Jeremy Knipper

Joe Bafia

Pat Cashman

Aaron Clutts

Mark Ramsey

Jon Rech

Shon McDonough

Nate Brand

Rick Radcliff

James Martinson

Ben Griswell

Team 4 (dark)

Scott Anderson - Goalie

Dan Hoy

Mark Dylo

Andrew Lee

Shawn Topliff

David Ross

Mike Fascian

Justin West

Paul Adams

Dave Swift

Ben Hudson

Nick Radcliff

Josh Feathers

Mike Bartak

Bill Goodman

Mark Scholz

Team 5 (white)

Steve Kuzynowski - Goalie

Chris Hill

Adam Keller

Paul Curran

Javi Rodriguez

Paul Knight

Marc LePera

Dan Becker

Mike Pedersen - IR

Darren Stout

Adam Krultz

Tim Close

Todd Bentzen

Tony Toigo

Mike Beede

Nick Worth

Mark Loverude

Team 6 (dark)

Jim Goeke - Goalie

Matt Johnson

Larry LePera

Monty Brown

Brent Hanke

Brian Gugat

Dave Chongo

Scott Jacobson

Matt Whitaker

Tyler Wallace

Ryan LePera

Dan Koenig

Jason Wolf

Scott Kundel

Dave Natale

Brett Damos

Caleb Harrelson

Promotional Night at ABC League

2011-12-04T14:25:00.004-06:00

Week 12 for the ABC League is upon us and although the players train, practice and play with passion and intensity, the fans are the primary reason we play this game. Night in and night out the Bucs Arena is packed with fans purchasing $14 pitchers of Miller Lite cheering and screaming for their favorite team.

Although the product we put in front of our fans is of top quality, we still understand they have options. A statement from commissioner Bafia stated:

" In this economy, we know our fans have a choice. If they do not come to our ABC League games, they can choose to watch the ever popular Sunday Novice League, the always exciting Breakfast Hockey pick up games, or even go to the Occupy Wall Street events. This being said, we need to reward our fans and maintain their loyalty."

It was decided that this Wednesday would be a Fan Appreciation night. Ticket prices will be slashed in half with glass seats going for a mere $63.50/ ticket. A beer promotion of "Buy a pitcher at regular price and get 4 FREE plastic cups" should keep a thirsty crowd happy. Lastly, each game will reward attending fans with a promotional item related to the game being played.

In game one of Kryptonite versus Irwins, the first 1,938 receive an authentic kryptonite rock. If any Cup O K player gets a hat trick during this game, fans are encouraged to throw their rock at this player to show their appreciation for the star performance.

Tailoring more to our young fans, the second game of the evening pits Alien against Voodoo. The first 666 fans under 12 years of age will receive their choice of a Voodoo doll modeled after their favorite YDD player. Available dolls from left to right include: Wolf, Whitaker, Koenig, Rodriguez, Reeves, Harrelson and Stout. (stick pins not included).

Last but not least, those capable of staying up late enough to support the Red Alert Vs. Puck Hawgs game will be given the 2009 Limited Edition Red Alert game by Electronic Arts. The cover features team Captain, Josh Feathers in his beret and Easton S19 Machine Gun. Quantities limited to the first 2 fans, so get their early.

We want to thank all of our fans for making the league possible and without their support we wouldn't have a reason to play.

Turkey Tourney Sells out to Big Business

2011-11-23T22:32:00.004-06:00

We did our best to keep this great event of ours free of corporate involvement, but it was only a matter of time before money trumped honor. Once the big companies got word of our huge event and also found out that it was being held on Black Friday, the corporate money started flowing. Some even used their bailout money to help fund the advertisement.

The 8 highest bidders earned the rights to the team names. This added exposure to these businesses should be just the boost our economy needs. Please represent your company well.

With great deals on a 96 pack of toilet paper, team Costco is a great value if you are looking to buy in bulk.

Todd Daniels - G
Anne Wiltgen
Paul Wiltgen
George Lu
Jeff Dayton
Brad Dean
Dave Swift
Jon Filloon

If it's not on sale this week, it will be on sale next. If it's not on sale for 2 weeks in a row, somethings wrong....This team never pays full price.

Jim Goeke - G
Nick Radcliff
Dan Becker
Todd Bentzen
John Evans
Dan Hickey
Tony Toigo
Adam Puls

Fleece for mom, fleece for dad, fleece for brother, sister & friends. You think the talking mannequins move fast on our commercials...you should see us skate!

Aaron Storm - G
Brian Higgins
John Reichart
James Martinson
John Hoekstra
Blake Upmeyer
Neal Cleary
Tyler Wallace

#2 pencils, spiral notebooks and an office chair are the top 3 Christmas gifts this year. If you need a goal from this crew, just press the "Easy" button.

Jerome Miller - G
Scott Anderson
Darren Stout
Tom Kirvin
Robert Moore
Dave Gannon
Brendan McCallum
Eric Chabak

Even 30 year olds want Legos, Monopoly and Pokemon cards. This is a place where a "Kid can be a kid" and a "Hockey player can be a....kid"

??????? - G
Craig Stoever
Adam Lowell
Anne Huyck
Nate Brand
Matt Johnson
Ryan Butler
Harold Burke

If Brett Favre can sell you a TV from us, Mike Beede can play hockey for us. 2 guys that should have retired from their sports years ago.

Ryan Pitre - G
Rich Huyck
Jeremy Knipper
Mitch Zimmerman
Paul Adams
Dave Miller
Mike Beede

Get a 59" flatscreen HDTV for only $4.99. Quantities are limited and so are the goals from our players.

Rich Pentico - G
Bryan Bane
Chris LeFleur
Scott Jacobson
Eric Jacobson
Dan Bishop
Shane Bast

Who wouldn't want Season 6 of House on blu-ray for $19.99? How about a washing machine that can clean your gear? Maybe a Dyson vacuum since this team sucks....

Chris Schroeder - G
Adam Krultz
Brian Gugat
Nathan Pirie
Waly Hudyma
Mike Dylo
Joe Bafia

	Far Side	Lounge Side
4:00 - 4:35	Costco / Kohls	Old Navy / Staples
4:35 - 5:10	Toys R Us / Sears	Target / Best Buy
5:10 - 5:25	SCRAPE
5:25 - 6:00	Costco / Staples	Old Navy / Kohls
6:00 - 6:35	Toys R Us / Target	Sears/ Best Buy
6:35 - 6:50	SCRAPE
6:50 - 7:25	Costco / Old Navy	Kohls / Staples
7:25 - 8:00	Toys R Us / Best Buy	Sears/ Target
8:00 - 8:15	SCRAPE
8:15 - 8:50	#3 A / #3 B	#1 A / #1 B
8:50 - 9:25	#4 A / #4 B	#2 A / #2 B

Time To Scramble

2011-10-31T19:27:00.003-05:00

As promised, Week #9 or November 9, 2011 will be our league's first scramble game. This is an opportunity to play with those you play against for 33 weeks. Take this opportunity to make new friends, get to know some players that you haven't had a chance to talk to and play some non-pressure hockey.

Jersey colors are listed next to the Team #. Please try and actually wear WHITE if on a white team. For schedule:
7:15 Team 1 vs Team 2
8:50 Team 3 vs Team 4
9:55 Team 5 vs Team 6

The games are still officiated, but again do not count for standings. We really want to make sure players get to know one another (even if it is just for 1 night). Our hope is that we create a better camaraderie amongst the league. I hope everyone can make it.

I have put every player on a team including those that split a spot during the season. This gives everyone a chance to play. There is NO TRADING teams. If you know in advance that you will not make it, shoot me an email. If too many cannot make one game, I may make some roster moves.

The teams are as follow:

Team 1 (White)
Steve Kuzynowski - Goalie
Matt Johnson
Rich Hyuck
Chris Hill
Adam Schnieders
Chris LeFleur
Mark Dylo
Adam Keller
Larry LePera
Nataliya Dudechenko
Nick Hrabak
Tom Kirvin
Paul Curran
Andrew Lee
Javi Rodriguez
Monty Brown
Brent Hanke

Team 2 (Dark)
Jim Goeke - Goalie
Paul Knight
Brian Gugat
Brad Dean
Laura Stein - IR
Dan Bishop
Shawn Topliff
Marc LePera
Dave Chongo
Dave Gannon
Rich Hrabak
Rich Cohan
David Ross
Dan Becker
Scott Jacobson
Matt Whitaker
Darren Stout

Team 3 (White)
Tony Hansen - Goalie
Mike Pedersen
Tim Close
Dave Green
Ben Paoli
Jeremy Knipper
Mike Fascian
Ryan LePera
Adam Krultz
Pete Anthan
Rob Wheeler
Dan Hoy
Justin West
Tyler Wallace
Dan Koenig
Jason Wolf
Todd Bentzen

Team 4 (Dark)
Scott Anderson
Tony Toigo
Scott Kundel
Mitch Stein
Dave Miller
Joe Bafia
Paul Adams
Mike Beede
Dave Natale
Will Koch
Dane Maxwell
Pat Cashman
Dave Swift
Nick Worth
Brett Damos
Caleb Harrelson
Mark Loverude

Team 5 (White)
Kacy Reeves
Mikey Dylo
Adam Lowell
Aaron Clutts
Ben Hudson
Lisa Schumacher
Chad Beyer
Mark Ramsey
Nick Radcliff
David Stember
Dan Hickey
Jon Rech
Josh Feathers
Rod Bragg
Dusty Beenen
Shon McDonough

Team 6 (Dark)
Eric Keese
Brendan McCallum
Pat Houlihan
Nate Brand
Mike Bartak
Dustin Gordon
Terry Sindelar
Rick Radcliff
Bill Goodman
Andrew Mellein
Chris Hansen
James Martinson
Mark Scholz
Shaun Greene
Nick Giunta
Ben Griswell

Gobble, Gobble, Goal, Gobble .....

2011-10-24T20:15:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe that 5 years ago I thought it was a good idea to cancel league games before Thanksgiving since it was a holiday and I didn't believe there would be much attendance. Scott Anderson called me and said "What the $@#& are you doing cancelling league games the Wednesday before Thanksgiving? That's the best day to play hockey." The rest is history with the Annual 3 on 3 Turkey Tourney being created.

This year, the small twist is we are playing the Friday AFTER Thanksgiving. What better day to play some hockey? You just ate too much food, watched too much football and saw too much family the day before, and now you want burn some calories. So as your spouse, girlfriend or significant other leaves your place at 4 AM headed to Bed, Bath & Beyond for that Early Bird $4.99 shower squeegie promo, you sleep in and mentally prepare for some good old-fashioned hockey.

The format has not changed. 6 players per team, 4 games each, 3 on 3 cross-ice format, free pizza and an all around great time. Teams are put together by me to keep things as fair as possible. It also allows you to play with players you normally don't get a chance to play with. Beginner skill levels encouraged to play since this is a laid back atmosphere.

Friday, November 25th

4 PM - 8 PMish

Bucs Arena

$40 (includes 4 games & pizza during breaks)

Only 48 player spots and 8 goalie spots accepted. These go quickly so register early.

You can register right here on the blog.

I Can Predict The Future!

2011-10-09T07:50:00.002-05:00

I have to imagine after my predictions last week, some may be coming to my house to see if I have a DeLorean sitting in my driveway with me working on the flux capacitor. Well, I don't. There is no time machine, no crystal ball, and I'm not the second coming of Nostradamus. I simply take the facts and put them together to determine what to me is an obvious outcome to our games.

Last week, I predicted Red Alert wins 7-6 over Irwins. The final was an Irwins win of 3-0. Although on the surface one may say this is wrong (or not even close), I beg to differ. With the quality of refs we have in this league, goals are missed all the time. For those watching the game from the lounge, we clearly saw Feathers and Scholz each score hat tricks. Now I can understand how the refs may miss a close call, but 6? C'mon, there is so much riding on this game that the least they could do is pay attention. The ultimate mistake came with 32 seconds left. At this point the score (in reality) was 6-6 and there was a face off in Irwins zone. As soon as the ref drops the puck, he turns to the Irwins bench to get a drink of water from Wheeler. At that time, Wallace of Red Alert fires a puck into Irwins net for what is clearly a goal, but the goalie pulls it out of the net and throws it down the ice towards Red Alert's net. By this time, Hansen is jumping up and down in celebration of the goal that he believes is the game winner and the puck rolls into the net behind him. The refs turn in Tony's directions and see the puck just as the buzzer sounds and victory is given to Irwins. I was shocked along with the 5 other fans in the lounge that such an atrocity could occur.

The 2nd games prediction was Alien 5, Hawgs 2. The final result was Alien 5-3. My prediction took into account our own goalie playing in that game. Turns out he was unable to make it last minute and we acquired Tony Hansen as a sub. As invincible as our defense is, we still cannot make up for Tony's lack of effort in this game and he lets in a softy to skew my prediction just a tad. Thanks Tony...thanks for nothing.

The final game of the night was predicted as a Voodoo win 5-4 with Koenig scoring the game winner at the very end. Turns out the score was on the money, but it was a Huyck/Johnson combo at the end to win it for Kryptonite. There are some things that even I could not predict. Who would have thought that when the game was on the line, the players of Kryptonite would even allow Huyck and Johnson on the ice during the last 4 minutes of the game. Typical win strategy would suggest that your worst players sit on the bench with their helmets off observing their teammates try and win the game. Bystanders thought it was a brilliant strategy to have these 2 out there, but in reality it was a mistake. As the clocked ticked down with the score 4-4, Huyck and Johnson skated to the bench after some horrifying play. Hill yells down the bench "You guys play like sin!". Johnson and Huyck quickly jump back onto the ice and scamper to Voodoos end to team up for the game winner. Afterwards, Johnson says he thought Hill had said "You guys get us a win!".

In the end, short of the craziness, I was pretty well dead on. So to keep the string alive, here are Week 5's picks....

Kryptonite Vs. Red Alert
With Paul Knight back in the line up for Kryptonite, the team is bound for a loss. Red Alert breaks their winless streak this Wednesday by a score of 5-3.

Alien Vs. Irwins
As powerful as Alien is this year, they will have a challenge stopping the Martinson/Cashman duo. Regardless of who is in Irwin's net (the world never knows until 5 mins before the game), they still sneak out the win 6-5 over Alien. Bishop of Alien gets tossed from this game due to inappropriate team uniform.

Voodoo Vs. Hawgs
After disappointing losses for both teams last week, someone walks away with a 4-1 record. Goalie Reeves for Voodoo is fired up for this game after an altercation with his own teammate Damos last week. Some negative words were thrown, then Damos threw a tape ball and hit Kacy in the knee. "We're all better now" stated Whitaker, "our team needed that passion on the ice." Defending champ Hawgs looked like 14 year old molasses on the ice last week. The LePeras struggled, Schumacher looked sluggish and Bartak decided to not even show. I believe this team is on a slide with Voodoo getting the win. Voodoo wins 8-7.

Week 4 Updates

2011-10-03T21:44:00.003-05:00

7:15 Irwins Vs Red Alert
Someone's getting their first win tonight in the first match up of the night. We have two teams coming in 0-3 and both are ready to ride the celebration train. "We're lining the locker room with plastic so it won't ruin the place when we spray champagne all over" proclaimed Jim Goeke of Irwins. With only a 4 point differential in their last 3 games, Irwins feels like they could be 3-0. "If we scored more points than the other teams in each of our last 3 games, we'd be sitting at 3-0" observed Stember of Irwins.
Red Alert on the other hand believe it's the netminder that will earn the win. With Tony Hansen bringing in a respectable 5.3 GAA, he thinks the rink tilts in their favor. "I've told me defense what they need to do" stated Hansen of Red Alert. "They really weren't trying and were very afraid, so that changes tonight" With Green and Hoy coming off some concussions from week #1, they are ready to play at the level they once did.
In a close game, Red Alert edges out Irwins 7-6.

8:35 Alien Hockey Vs Puck Hawgs
Always a good battle, this match up pits the defending champs against the rising powerhouse of Alien. "We've played on the frozen ponds of Eagle River, so this will be a piece of cake" pointed out Adam Keller. The Dylo brothers have stepped up with 3 points each this season and are ready to get some more. "You can contain me, but you can only hope to stop me from containing myself" cried Mark Dylo. With solid defense, 3 strong lines and a mediocre goalie, they Extra-Terrestrials are ready to invade.
The Hawgs on the other side also have a brotherly combination. The LePera duo of Marc & Ryan have also combined for 6 points (although all 6 are from Marc). "Not only are we the better bro-duo, we also have a dad that loves us enough to play with us." called out Ryan. "What's Dylo's dad doing? Playing online poker while cheering for the Packers?" Hudson and Beyer are 2 of the strongest guys during warm ups and this alone is intimidating.
In another close battle, Alien assaults the Hawgs with a final of 5-3.

9:55 Voodoo Vs Cup O Kryptonite
"Quit re-living 2009-10!" yelled captain Whitaker of Voodoo when he was reminded that only 2 short years ago, Cup O K was on top of the ABC League world. "They are going to keep referring to that season 20 years from now" Voodoo brings a 3-0 record to the late night game and is ready to go 4-0. Bentzen, Griswell and Brown already made t-shirts for the game that says "Kryptonite...Prepare to meet your Voodoo" The first 8 fans into Bucs arena for this game get a free jersey to wear, but they have to give it back at the end of the night.
Pedersen, Green & Hill of Kryptonite have had a serious falling out. With each player signed to a long term deal and none of them wanting to get traded, it leaves some serious concerns. It all stemmed from a late night out where the 3 were left to determine who picks up the tab with nobody budging and reaching for their wallet. After sitting at Ridgemont until 7 AM Thursday morning, Pedersen gave in and grabbed the bill. "I'll buy this time, but we will never speak again", promised Pedersen. Johnson has his hands full with this one and the fighting may just be too much to overcome.
Voodoo goes 4-0 in a last second goal by Koenig to win 5-4.

Predicts in da hizzy

2011-09-20T21:59:00.003-05:00

In your best rap attempt, sing the predictions for the week....

Alien and Red Alert will playz da early game, Red Alert will lose, o what a shame. Hansen got a sharpen, Dobbie will be harpin' and West will be barkin'.

Alien opens up with 2 goals from Brand, he lead the league in water, on ice and on land. Dylo, Houlie and a little guy named Lowell, will make Red Alert swim the toilet bowl.....yeahhhhh boyyyeeee.

The score will be 5-1 with Kuzy in Alien's net, and all Red Alert will show is how the bed they wet.....ohhh shnappppparooni dawg.

Middle game pits Irwins against the 1 and 0 Voodoo, but a spoil is a comin' with a Jon Recharoo. He will score twice for Irwins, with an assist or 2 to boot, making Voodoo and Whitakers crew llook like a bowl of fruit...

Kacy had stood on his head during week 1 being a star, but remember you have Harrelson on your team and the only shot he can take is standing at the bar....booyaaa.

Irwins tallies 6 goals to Voodoos only 1, with Stember's hat trick in the books, Voodoo will be done.

Late night games require some 5 hour energy drinks, which stinks and me thinks that Hawgs will be all up in the rinks. Sindelar will be sinister for Hawgs while Natale lights the lamps, and Hawgs once again shows kryptons, that Hawgs repeat as champs. Johnson of Cup says, hey y'all, we'll be fine...have you seen our new guy? His name is Mitchy Stein. Steiny scores 2 goals but its no where near enough, to beat the team that seems to have all the right stuff. Green & Gugat hold hands together as they cry, as Hawgs win this game 5-2 my, oh my, oh my.

So there you have it week 2, is not weak too, so bring the kids, the wife and maybe even a knife to cut the tension in suspension with all of us tonight.

Peace out and word to your brother's sister's mother's uncle's friend........holla.

Is a Repeat In Sight?

2011-09-08T21:52:00.009-05:00

It's been a glorious summer for the Champion Puck Hawgs Team. The sweet taste of victory still lingers on their tongue after a grueling 33 week season that culminated in an epic win against defending champs, Cup O Kryptonite.

A summer that included countless interviews on PBS, a visit to the President of the Elks club's home, each player getting a day with the cup and even a documentary made about the miraculous journey. These players have enjoyed their time off and relished in the glory that they hope to revisit.

The problem is that this will not happen in the upcoming season. Sure they made some great off season acquisitions with Chad Beyer & Dave Natale, but this will not be enough to carry them to the promised land in back to back years.

"The problem was our guys didn't know how to handle the victory. We over-celebrated" stated captain Dave Gannon. "We had guys that worried more about their popularity and publicity than about their training and readiness for next season."

Guys like Adam Krultz, who led his team with gritty play and a sheer will to win, decided to do other things in the off-season deemed more important. Krultz entered the Hot Dog Eating Championships and came in a disappointing 7th place with 53 dogs in 10 minutes.

Then you have Lisa Schumacher, who led her D League Team to victory the year prior, moves up to the C League, and rolls over the competition through the regular season and playoffs only to spend her time helping Obama campaign for re-election. "She gave me her magic stick and said it's better than Harry Potter's wand" exclaimed Obama at every rally he attended. "She dominated the coffee loving fools of Kryptonite with this stick as I will dominate the Republicans in the upcoming election".

The family trio of the LePeras made fools of all those that skated against them. This inseparable group rode together, played together and even rotated one jock between them during a game. Now that the championship was behind them, they took their talents to Broadway and landed roles in the musical "A Soldier I Am". As they memorized their lines and pounded their shielded chests, you could feel their hockey skills fading fast.

Although the team had many strengths and role players, nobody held the team together like Nataliya. "She was was the peanut butter in our jelly, the lime in our Corona, the caffeine in our 5-hour energy drink", proclaimed teammate Mike Bartak. If there was a stable force on the team that would not let the glamour of winning take over, it would be Nataliya. This however was not the case as she landed a modeling gig overseas from June-August showcasing some of this years worst ever designs.

In the end, a team needs focus, determination and a will to win if they want to repeat as champions. The Hawgs have shown that a lack of exercise, discipline and a really ugly dress can make that all go away in a hurry. It's too bad this team will not even be .500 this year, and the sad part is, Obama won't get re-elected even after all their hard work.

Pre-Season Draft Analysis 2011-12

2011-09-01T21:39:00.002-05:00

As another ABC Hockey League Season is on the horizon, many players get prepared to start playing again. Dusting off helmets, sharpening skates & washing the cat urine out of their goalie

equipment are a few things happening to prepare for the season.

There is a select few that not only play the sport each Wednesday, but also compete on an intellectual level as well. They take this league very seriously and take it to another level. These are Fantasy C League Players. Yes, they get together before the season starts and draft their fantasy teams from the ever growing pool of untalented, beer drinking, ex-bowler hockey players. It is for this reason alone that I put together a pre-season player evaluation. A short descriptive list that analyzes each player's strengths, weaknesses or lack of talent. It is this list that becomes a guide for the few that hope to assemble the most elite team of misfits that ever played the game we call C League Hockey. So here you have it.....

Aaron Clutts - The only way this guy will make the top of any list is because of his first name. 6th round choice at best

Adam Keller -The best pick of all the Adam's. Strong left-winger and drives a big truck

Adam Krultz - If your team needs a non-defensive cherry picker, you can't go wrong here

Adam Lowell - Choose him and hope you don't have a split second need for a guy to jump the boards

Adam Schnieders - Worst of all the Adam's. D League ran out of space, needed to move up.

Andrew Lee - Great 3 on 3 player, 3rd line center at best in a full game situation.

Andrew Mellein - Solid reputation in pick up games. Throw in a ref, score & rules....lost cause

Ben Griswell - If he stays healthy, loses 40 pounds and learns to skate...maybe a 2nd round pick

Ben Hudson - Transitioned from goalie to player. Didn't need to skate as much in net. average defender at best

Ben Paoli - If you're looking for speed, power, finesse & a scorer's touch...look elsewhere

Ben Truetken - Goalie - Probable top pick with the talent that's out there

Bill Goodman - If they only put skate blades on bicycles. 4th rounder, trade away for pick next year

Bishop/ Topliff - Pick one, get both. Or pass on them and hope someone else gets stuck with 'em

Brad Dean - His stats from the 7 leagues he plays in don't count for this league. Tired by the time Wed rolls around

Brendan McCallum - Most overrated defender in ABC league...but he wears a mean clearance t-shirt

Brent Hanke - Nicknamed "Hanke-r-chief" for all the crying he does when someone steals the puck from him

Brett Damos - hasn't played in 19 years and still uses double runners. Choose him and it's a long season

Brian Gugat - No fantasy points given for missed games. Choose him for many goose eggs throughout the season

Caleb Harrelson - Style points given for roller hockey pants. Should be available in 7th round

Chad Beyer - Gritty defenseman...when playing NHL 2k8. 5th rounder

Chris Hansen - "why are you sitting on that chair in your underwear with a bowl of jell-o and a bottle of Jack Daniels?"

Chris Hill/Paul Knight - This dynamic duo is good for a few points...if beer drinking was a category

Chris LeFleur - don't let the name fool you. He's not that good. 3rd round at best

Dan Hickey - after 4 reconstructive knee surgeries in one month last season, should be good to go. 1st round pick

Dan Hoy - 1st name 3 letters, last name 3 letters, 3rd round pick...can't go wrong here

Dan Koenig - Need a tattoo? Pick Dan. Need a good hockey player? Don't pick Dan.

Dane Maxwell - What a show -off. All flash, no passing ability. If you want Deion Sanders, take Dane

Dave Chongo - 1st line RW. Mad Skills & team player. 1st rounder.

Dave Gannon - Read above. Now think opposite.

Dave Green - Last name describes him best. He's all about the contract, not the stats.

Dave Miller - Meet him in the parking lot...Grizzly Bear. Meet him on the ice...teddy bear.

Dave Natale - Released last week from prison just in time to join ABC league. Penalty minute points will carry your team

Dave Swift - "Swift?"...not so much. 7th rounder

David Ross - Great locker room guy. Buys beer for everyone. Good for team spirit. 2nd rounder

David Stember - Solid centerman. Glass jaw. One punch...he's down.

Don "Doc" Mudge - "Doc"....of what? Do they give a PhD in lazy skating?

Dustin Gordon - More like "Flash Gordon"...breakaway speed good for many points. 2nd rounder

Dusty Beenen - Although not very good, plays 10 minute shifts so bound to get points.

Jason Wolf - Could be most over-rated player in C League. Save your pick and pass on this one

Javi Rodriguez - newcomer needs to prove that he belongs in C league. Contract year, grab him early.

Jeremy Knipper - He wont score a ton of goals, but he will carry your keys and wallet to bench

Jim Goeke - Great players to add. Plays out and can also go in net. mediocre at both, but a good pick regardless

Joe Bafia - As if the top defenseman even needs to be reviewed. A League was full this year...again.

Jon Rech - They don't call him Jon "The Train" Rech for nothing. Great enforcer to add in 2nd round.

Josh Feathers - Gets many points, many wins, wait, this isn't Kubb. 8th rounder.

Justin West - what? he's back for another season. If you want a 19 year C League vet, take him.

Kacy Reeves - Goalie good for 18 wins this season...i mean whines. draft him as a 3rd string back up

Kuzynowski / Nissen - Goalie duo. If they played together in net at the same time, MAYBE they's make a save.

Larry LePera - Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Good 2nd rounder.

Laura Stein - IR - Even though she's on the IR, she will still score more points than Matty J.

Lisa Schumacher - Captains a D League Championship team, on a C League Championship Team, consistent ...1st rounder

Marc LePera - Wishes he could play like dad...always in the shadow. 4th round at best

Mark Dylo - Could this be the year this Dylo shines? nope. 5th round.

Mark Loverude - He can land a plane, but can't land a pass. 6th round

Mark Ramsey - Another newcomer. Take a chance, draft in 3rd. Then you can trade him for a 6 pack if he doesn't pan out.

Mark Scholz - Every year ranks high, every year a bust. Sad career. 6th round

Martinson/Cashman - Here may be a dark-horse duo to grab. Although no significant skills, could be a gamble worth taking in 3rd round

Matt Johnson - Why do we even put him on the list. If he's still available by round 15, take him for entertainment value

Matt Whitaker - I guess the Matts don't fall far from each other. Which Matt will get picked last this year?

Max Blend - Goalie - Very intelligent, level headed & consistent. Not what you want from your goalie. Late 9th round

Mike Bartak - Says he models his game after Toews and Kane. Maybe when they're sleeping. Late 6th round

Mike Beede - Need a beer drinking pal? Not much for fantasy points, but great entertainment.

Mike Dylo - Getting married this fall. Pick him up 1st round then get ready to trade him mid-october

Mike Fascian - At 6'-10", he's a force....to be drafted in round 9.

Mike Pedersen - This guys skating is like Bobby Orr...if Bobby Orr was wearing Pedersen's jersey

Mitch Stein - Another Stein? Likely go on IR after week 6 to join the family

Monty Brown - He'll pass you, score on you and then sue you for looking silly. Good 3rd rounder.

Nataliya Dudechenko - Furry gloves, make up on, french sewn jersey. If looks were worth points, she'd clean up, but they're not....7th round

Nate Brand - He can do backward crossovers while skating forward. Most interesting man in C league. 1st rounder.

Nick Giunta - His +/- is best in league. grab him early and trade for a goalie.

Nick Hrabak - Likes puppies, dark chocolate & the movie Bambi. Should be available in 4th round

Nick Radcliff - Medical reports show that drinking a 64 oz mug of 5-hour energy before a game is not good. Draft him with caution.

Nick Worth - Good for 2-3 goals per game and another 2-3 assists. consistent and another Top player in league. draft early.

Pat Houlihan - He can skate circles around himself. Not really around anyone else. 5th round.

Paul Adams - Youngster who thinks he knows it all. Rude awakening coming. 8th round

Paul Curran - After helping Obama win the presidency, Curran ready to be a hockey player again. 2nd rounder.

Pete Anthan - Wild card. Could be good, could be great...could make you cry and stay up late.

Rich Cohan - Cooks a mean pork chop...not much of a fore-checker. 6th round

Rich Hrabak - Stock is rising since he trained this summer in Sweden. 3rd round

Rich Hyuck - Worst "Rich" of the 3 available. No caffeine? What's wrong with you?

Rick Radcliff - Great locker room presence, bench presence, but not ice presence. Keep him on your bench if you grab him

Rob Wheeler - Fastest guy in C League....to the lounge after game. 5th round.

Rod Bragg - Last name says it all. All Bragg, no brawn.

Ryan LePera - Another LePera? If he was only 1/2 as good as his brother. 9th round.

Scott Anderson G - Headcase, crazy, obnoxious & mean-spirited. That's who I want in net. 1st rounder.

Scott Jacobson - LeFleur brought him into league...and will wish he never did. 9th round.

Scott Kundel - Don't let his lack of speed and finesse fool you. he will make goals on accident. 2nd round.

Shaun Greene - A force to be reckoned with. Led all forwards in African Hockey League last season. 2nd rounder.

Shon McDonough - Had to customize 2 bobsleds to get him skates that fit. dangerous! 2nd rounder

Terry Sindelar - Coming out of retirement to prove to himself that he should have stayed retired. 5th round (at best)

Tim Close - After his 16th attempt this year of trying out for NHL, he is back again to dominate C league. 1st rounder.

Todd Bentzen - If you think the cage on his helmet is scary, you should see his face. 3rd rounder.

Tom Kirvin - Tom "The Bomb". ...as in his draft ranking....9th round pick

Tony Hansen - Here is a goalie who thinks he is a player who thinks he should be a goalie who really isn't that good at either. 6th round

Tony Toigo - If this was a fantasy baseball draft, you'd still go in the 8th round.

Tyler Wallace - Dominated Summer Scramble. Crack under the pressure of real games. 5th round.

Will Koch - Last but not least...well maybe last on this ranking as well...just ahead of Johnson & Whitaker though.

There you have it. Free of charge as always with no thanks needed. I create these rankings to help those who dedicate their life to fantasy sports since reality is a scary place for them.

Cinco de Mayo 3 on 3 Finale!

2011-03-26T15:37:00.003-05:00

With both the C & D Leagues finishing up at Bucs Arena, we wanted to have one last hurrah and end the season with one last 3 on 3 event.

Friday May 6th from 5:30 -? (approx 11 pm)
Bucs Arena $40 (goalies ½ price)
4 games guaranteed

For those of you that have not had a chance to play in this type of event, here is a summary:
You will play 3 on 3 hockey cross ice (2 games go on at once since we put a divider up along red line)
C & D League Players
6 player per team
Break between games allow you to get free pizza
Beer to be sold up in lounge
Teams created by me to allow players to play with people they may not normally play with
Skill level to be distributed as equally as possible
Very casual game means no pressure to be a superstar.

This event is about socializing , getting in a TON of skating and having fun. The teams with the worst records seem to have the best time.
Novice players should not be intimidated as many have played in this great event. It gives you an opportunity to skate with some better players with no pressure.

You can register directly on the blog in the upper right hand corner of this page. Limited to 48 players and 8 goalies. These have filled up in the past and with this being the "End of Season Bash", we anticipate it filling quickly as well (we have turned people way).

Another Successful Cupid Cup

2011-02-19T15:01:00.002-06:00

As with any true romantic love story, there is a happy ending where 2 people fall in love and live happily ever after.

This was the case with the Valentine's inspired Cupid Cup Hockey Tourney that occurred last night. 48 players came together with tension and competition running through their veins, but the night ended with a mutual love for one another. Well, this may not be the best analogy for a group of hockey players, but the end result was still very good.

With most games within 1 goal and even several ties, the match ups were even. The pizza was plentiful, the beer flowing freely and plenty of socializing made for an evening to remember. As always, the attitudes were great and thanks to everyone for making this great event!

Free Hockey Weekend For Youth

2011-02-01T18:13:00.003-06:00

On Saturday, February 19th, 2011, the Des Moines Youth Hockey Association will host a "Try Hockey for Free" day. This will be held at Bucs Arena at 3:45 PM.

Players between the ages of 4-11 can try hockey at no cost.

For more information or to register for the event, please contact Scott Long, DMYHA Hockey director, via email at hockeydirector@dmhockey.org

Spread this info to anyone you may know!!!

Still A Regular Joe

2011-01-18T22:49:00.003-06:00

Many people say that fame will not change them.

Most people who become famous do get sucked into the glamorous life and forget all the people that they used to call friends.....but I have not.

As most of you may have already seen my television debut, I am now a local celebrity. Even though I realize not everyone can be as talented as me on and off screen, I still respect those inferior to me.

Here are my superior television skills in action:

http://www.whotv.com/videobeta/e818f40e-69af-47f5-9393-3336d03d71d1/News/Workout-of-the-Week-Hockey

I know that after watching that video, everyone wants to say "I know that guy", and I'm flattered. Keep in mind, I'm the same Top-Level defenseman that every knew even before the stardom.

So don't be afraid to say hi if you see me on the street (just don't make eye contact), feel free to ask for an autograph (as long as you have a $10 bill handy) and don't be shy with your camera if you want to snap a pix (as long as you don't interfere with the Paparazzi).

2011 D League Draft Complete

2011-01-03T22:59:00.002-06:00

The start of the 2011 year brings the beginning of the new 4 Team Adult D League. The league has grown and now boasts 40 players. The players participated in a 6 week mini-camp where they could showcase their talents to the prospective coaches that were to draft the teams.

"I couldn't be happier with the growth of the league" proclaimed Bafia (commish, treasurer, ref, marketer, skate sharpener, and all around swell guy). "They worked hard these last 6 weeks and the captains were sure to have a tough time drafting."

With the expansion of the league into 4 teams, there was also the need to hire only the best coaches money (or beer) could buy. With over 250+ applicants wanting a coaching position, some tough decisions were made. Here are your 2011 Team Coaches:
Team 1 - Jeremey Knipper / Kacy Reeves
Team 2 - Tony Hansen / Matt Haynes
Team 3 - Mike Beede / Adam Lowell
Team 4 - Mike Fascian / Justin Williams

Once the coaches were selected, we moved on to the draft. What you will find below is each team's final roster and the order the players were selected by their team. Congrats to all those who made a team. Although I can't give a recap on every player, I have highlighted some of the more prominent & surprising selections.

Team 1
Dan Hoy - #1 overall pick for 2011 Draft....Will he perform...or bust?
Greg Miller
Haley Thiele - Surprised she lasted to 3rd round. Must be her inconsistency as an enforcer.
Matt Thiele
Neal Cleary
Pat Scholer
Rob Moore
Sarah Keller
Tami Grimmer
Jeff Mau - No Surprise here, goalie taken in last round.

Team 2
Anne Wiltgen - They traded up to get this pick. Should be a force.
Brad Bedwell
Breadi Gloshen
Corey Shugart
Cory Watts
Eric Anderson
Lisa Schumacher
Michael Johnson - Overrated. Surprised he went this early.
Nick Worth
Caleb Harrelson - Hmmm. Shocker. Another goalie in the last round.

Team 3
Angela Holy - She taught Lumbrezer how to play, now she'll teach the team.
Chris Pauli
Dave Gannon
Dave Natale - Who is this guy? Did he play in some European Novice League?
Eric Kipp
John Reichart
Ron Brott
Ryan Kelly
Sarah Lumbrezer
Todd Daniels - 2nd to last pick in the entire draft...at least not dead last.

Team 4
Amy McEntaffer
Cody Gavin
Dale McArtor - Double knee surgery, tennis elbow & broken chin pushed her down to 3rd round
Dan Zahn
Jeff Dayton - I thought he retired...twice. Risky pick up here.
John Evans
Jon Young
Lee Collins
Troy Maifeld
Aaron Storm - I got nothing to say.

Well there you have it. The draft went as expected for the most part and the best players got chosen first. Its a funny coincidence that it's also in alphabetical order by first name.

Its not too late to join the league. This Sunday is Week #1 of a 16 week season. View the FAQ page at www.alienhockey.com for more info!

Turkey Tourney 2010 Teams

2010-11-21T13:13:00.005-06:00

Since we are trying to get our own Adult League Reality Show, I thought it only fitting to represent each team with the best Reality Shows out there. So I present to you the 2010 Turkey Tourney Rosters, teams & colors.

Black - Project Runway
Jeff Mau
Anne Wiltgen
Paul Wiltgen
Sergey Gorelik
Bill Goodman
Austin Dagenais
Brendan McCallum

Purple - Girls Next Door

Tony Hansen
Andrew Cleary
Neal Cleary
Lyle Danielson
Richard Huyck
Ryan Stout
Andrew Lee

Burgundy - Jersey Shore
Todd Daniels
Chris Herzberg
Joe Henson
Todd Brekke
Adam Lowell
Aaron Clutts
Jake Anonson

Sky Blue - Miami Ink
Ryan Pitre
Jeremy Knipper
Anne Huyck
Todd Bentzen
Mike Fascian
Scott Anderson
Bryan Bane

Gold - Flavor of Love
Aaron Storm
Ross Halverson
Will Ries
Jay Halverson
Corey Halverson
John Evans
Jeff Dayton

Green - The Biggest Loser
Rich Pentico
Brad Dean
Brett Jobgen
Dave Natale
Mike Beede
Dave Green
Tony Toigo

Pink - American Idol
Steve Wheeler
Jon Young
Nic Meyer
Eric Meyer
Jim Goeke
Dave Gannon
Laura Stein

Red - Top Chef
Mr. Anonymous
John Hoekstra
Josh Feathers
Darren Stout
Matt Johnson
David Ross
Joe Bafia

Should be a blast with first game starting at 5:45. See you all there!

After the event ends, we are all heading to Walmart for the Black Friday Specials that begin at Midnight!

Goalie's Union Stands Firm

2010-11-08T19:35:00.003-06:00

With the 3 on 3 Turkey Tourney fast approaching, I was reviewing my list of registered players and noticed that although the player spots were almost full, there were many goalie spots remaining. As a courtesy, I sent out a blast email to the goalies I know to remind them of this event. Rather than get a bunch of registrations, I received an email that stated:

Are you short net minders? You know...we do have a union.

At first, panic set in and I feared that this Goalie unionization could threaten not only the tourney, but also the league, pay & plays and even stick & pucks. After a few minutes of deep reflection, I came to another realization.....We don't need goalies.

Let me break it down a couple of ways. How bad could not having goalies really be? Here are all the positive impacts to our sport if we did away with goalies.

Ice time - If a team chose to leave an open net, by rule (NHL Section 2 Rule 5.3), they can skate a 6th player. This allows us players to skate more and get more bang for our buck.

Locker room - A goalie typically takes up the same amount of locker room space as 2.75 players. By not having a goalie, the players have more room to spread out in an already crowded environment.

Excuses - With every goal scored, players are bombarded with reasons from the goaltender as to why the goal was scored. Less discussion with the goalie would create a faster flow to the game.

Stats - Utilizing a "Shooter Tutor" as a goalie would bring the game scores to more realistic levels. With the goalies in our league, teams are forced to play a 1-4 style of hockey (1 offense and 4 defense to protect the poorly skilled netminders).

Emails - 91% of all emails in our league come from goalies. Suggestions to the commissioner about reducing net size down to 2' high x 4' wide and allowing 2 goalies in net at once could be eliminated. Emails from goalies to their teammates about how they can play better defense, not screen the goalie or even to score at least 11 goals since the team's GAA is 10 could be eliminated and not clutter our inboxes.

Stress - The worry we all have prior to every game regarding the attendance of our goalie could be eliminated. The attitude of "you need me more than I need you" every time they stroll in to the locker would be a faint memory.

Practice time - Our warm up time is very short to begin with. We only get 5 minutes to stretch, warm up our legs, talk to our buddies on the other team and prepare our lines. Currently, we spend 4 minutes of this time waiting to warm up our goalie who is busy scraping a crease that he/she is going to be flailing around in. They stretch out in a butterfly position that they will never use in a game, point to the player they want a shot to come from, and after allowing 9 of 10 shots into the net, they skate away as if to say "I don't need any more practice."

As you can see, I do not believe the goalie's union has a skate to stand on. Heck, they usually can't stand on both skates. I'm sure goalies would love to provide a rebuttal to my argument above. Knowing this, I have already prepared what their "reasons" would be as to why they are beneficial, needed and important.

"We need to play for free" - Goalies do not get charged for adult league. They claim that the amount of money spent on their gear justifies this fee exemption. Have you ever seen what some of our goalies wear? Unless your Bishop or Anderson, most of these goalies have owned this gear for 20+ years. They spent $300 on it back in the 80s and now its value is less than Justin's West's gloves. The free ride should be over.

"Its much better to shoot on a real goalie" - If by real you mean erratic and inconsistent, then I say "no thanks". A "real" goalie saves more than 50% of the shots they face. A "real" goalie who plays the puck in the corner can usually get back into their net under 5 minutes.

"The goalies stand united in our union movement" - No they don't. Ben Hudson of Puck Hawgs realized that goalies were probably on their way out and made the switch to player for this season. Scott Anderson was smart enough to sign up for the Turkey Tourney...as a player. Shane Bast of Alien Vegas realized he wasn't needed (or wanted) anymore and decided to try his luck by moving to Texas. The Alien team then scraped the bottom of the barrel to find the only non-union goalie and brought on Lisa Nissen who had no team to begin with. Even goaltending great Blaine Barker knew this day would come and left the net (and the union) to take on a profession that might be the only thing worse than a goalie and became a ref.

"The goalies in Des Moines are the highest quality" - If Rich Pentico spent 1/2 as much time on practicing as he does on attending Eagles concerts and selling 50/50 tickets, he may be a mediocre D League goalie. Kacy Reeves would make a great high quality break dancer based on his back spins and doing the "worm" in his crease. Dan Bishop is a solid netminder....so solid, we only let him play 66% of our games. If we put both him and Lisa in net at the same time WITH a shooter tutor behind them, their save percentage may get to 85%. Tony Hansen for Funky Pickle?...enough said on that one. Justin Hillock of Hawgs is too busy flossing his pearly whites during games to focus on his surroundings. Players from Irwins have a scheduled rotation as to who goes out to Todd Daniels house to let the air out of his tires in hopes of him not making it. Jeff Mau still brags about his D League Championship win last season, but always leaves out the score of 23-22. Scott Anderson might be the best goalie in our league, and he's only here because the C League at MISF didn't want him, there was no room for a 3rd string goalie on the squirt youth hockey team, and even the participants of stick & pucks would ask him to leave the ice.

So whether it's a wooden board, plastic tutor or a 6th skater, goalies are replaceable. The goalies have no case or bargaining ability with the league, and should be content with their opportunity to play ..... for now. So to all the goalies, I give you one last reminder to sign up for the Turkey Tourney.....as it may be a last opportunity to play.

Come Out to the BBQ This Afternoon

2010-11-07T09:46:00.003-06:00

Today at 4 pm at Bucs Arena, there is an old fashioned Hawg Roast. Irwins is supplying the cooking supplies and BBQ equipment , while the Hawgs will be the main course. No vegetarian plate available.

Irwins by 3.

Hockey Unites Us

2010-10-30T11:18:00.005-05:00

Each week, I hear more and more players referring to our league as a "family" and not individual teams. Although hockey appears to be a rough competitive sport on the surface, the players have a deep respect for one another on the ice. Often, you can hear players apologizing to their opponent when they score a goal, or informing the referee that they committed a penalty and send themselves to the box. Its acts like these that separate us from other barbaric sports like Kubb, adult rec boxing and baseball.

This week's upcoming battles may seem like deep rooted rivalries, but in reality they are groups of players that have a deep love for one another.

Alien Hockey Vs. Puck Hawgs

These 2 teams may appear like water & oil on the ice, but the reality of it is they are marketing geniuses. The 2 groups have teamed up to create a novelty empire that can be compared to Lucasfilms. Through a joint effort of merging the Alien & Hawgs themes, they have created a variety of avenues to generate a significant revenue streams to allow all players to play hockey full time and never work again.

Seen here is the brainchild of art guru Aaron Clutts (Alien) and Rick Kavan (Hawgs). Together, they have created a logo that will be worn by millions.
Krultz, Hudson & Bartak of the Hawgs are all graduates of M.I.T (Muscatine Institute of Toys). After completing the rigorous 4 week Toy Certification degree, they combined their efforts with the creative forces of LeFleur, Fascian & Knipper of Alien to develop a line of toys that will not stay on the shelves this Holiday season. The Combo Alien/Hawg Character set will retail for $69.99 and is already being compared to the Cabbage Patch Kid dolls as far as popularity.

With a logo and toys comes the only next logical step. A summer blockbuster film. The film is titled "Hawg Cop" and was written by the LePera Family of the Puck Hawgs. The story revolves around a Waukee Cop played by Mark Dylo of Alien (seen in the leather jacket below) as he is assigned a partner who happens to be a Hawg stranded in Iowa from another planet. The Hawg Cop is played by Oscar winning Will Koch (Hawgs). In the scene below, Dylo & Koch chase down a high school bully through the hallways of Valley HS. Movie is set for release in Summer 2011.

In an effort to bring this marketing venture full circle, the Aliens Pig comic series is being launched. With artwork done by Bishop, Haynes & Keller of Alien and a storyline that will take you to the edge of your seat by the famous Russian Fairy Tale writer, Dudechenko, this is a must have for any child. Only available at Cup O' Kryptonite or Amazon.com.

Cup O Kryptonite Vs. Irwins

For the last 18 years, Bill Goodman (Irwins) and Matt Johnson (Cup O K) have been best friends. You can see them strolling around Grayslake together on Saturday afternoons, or catching a Friday night movie and doing some Salsa dancing. These two teams have no bad blood with each other and are always a pleasure to watch.

Seen here is Matt's signature "Irwins Cappuccino" drink. This delicious beverage can be enjoyed on Wednesdays just before league games for $3.99.

Here, the Kryptonite team helps prevent Justin William's (Irwins) Bike from getting stolen.

The beauty of the Irwins team is that they all work together. Edgington, Goeke & the Hrabaks all on a design team while Johnson, Massa & Lasnek handles the sales. Maxwell, Place & the Radcliffs do all the repairs. Rech, Seeback & Wheeler handle customer service while nobody really knows what Justin Williams does. This group collectively designed the 2 bike below for Matt Johnson's shop to help him broaden his business.

Seen here is latest Irwins creation for Cup O K. With Scott Kundel at the controls, this 3 wheeler comes fully equipped with a 2 head Espresso station, biscuit warmer, shaded canopy and 4 speeds. Now Matt can provide his coffee to the masses as he drives his luxurious ride down Hickman Road. Next, they will look for a way to incorporate comic sales on one of these contraptions.

Funky Pickle Vs. YDD Tattoo.

The Pickle team has one common bond between their players...their love for the Pickle. Make no mistake about this passion as they snack on these strange food items before games and fill their water bottles with the juices of this odd looking food.

To share this great love, the team decided to present one of the pickles from their private collection to the Voodoo team. Here we can see Caleb Harrelson (Voodoo) holding the mammoth pickle given to the team.

To return the favor, Koenig (Voodoo) offered the his services to the Funky Pickle team and they had an opportunity to get "inked" at no charge by the famous tattoo artist himself. Unfortunately, Dan broke both of his hands in a terrible accident and was unable to provide his services. As Koenig's teammates Caleb & Wolf were lowering the prized pickle on to a table for the team to enjoy, it slipped from their grasp and crushed Koenig's hands. The Voodoo team was devastated and decided to make this event into a positive. They all stepped up and volunteered to do the tattoos themselves.

Here we see the intricate artwork of Sergey Kokaz (Voodoo) on the buttocks of Patrick Cashman (Pickle). Notice the cool use of Converse shoes and non-filtered cigarette.

While the tattooing was going on, newly recruited Pickle player, Tony Dressen was seen promoting the team at the 108th Annual Pickle Palooza Event in Norwalk, IA

When Monty Brown (Voodoo) learned that Dave Ross (Pickle) was a huge Peanuts fan, he had the perfect idea. Why not incorporate the two significant details of Ross's life into one beautiful arrangement. Well done Monty.

Shon McDonough (Voodoo) had the pleasure of designing something that would be a terrific addition to Dave Swift's (Pickle) already art filled body. He knew that Dave had a large handle-bar moustache back in the day, and wanted to "bring back the memories". I'm sure all will agree that the finished product was flawless. The addition of the "Oh Herro" was a nice touch as well.

Team captain, Matt Whitaker (Voodoo) wanted to do something special as well. He took the opportunity to work on Funky Pickle's captain, Tony Hansen. "I wanted him to know how we felt about his team", stated Whitaker. "I hope he loves it." Tony was very emotional after receiving his tattoo that echoed his nickname "The Pickle".

There you have it. 6 teams on the ice that look like they want to kill each other and win at all costs, but truly have a significant bond with a personal story behind each player and team.

Getting To Know You

2010-10-22T18:37:00.004-05:00

The D League is in full swing with many newcomers to the sport. Some may think that these new players to the sport are all top athletes, or youngsters or even a bit crazy...but in reality the players are normal just like you & me.

In an effort to highlight some of these players, I did a few interviews asking them some questions. Here are their stories.

Dave Natale

Why did you start playing hockey? I was eating dinner with Sidney Crosby one night and he thought I'd be a good player. I told him he was probably right and I thought I'd give it a try. The A League was full and Sundays worked pretty good for me.

What is your favorite part of playing hockey? I really enjoy the cold ice. I like it so much that I lay on the ice quite a bit. Some think that I'm falling down because I don't skate very well, but I drop to the ice on purpose just to feel that cool sensation all over my body.

What position do you play? Either corner back, or linebacker. I'm pretty flexible with that since I'm the best player on my team. It allows the others to try different positions. I could even play goalie if I wanted to, but that position is way too easy (you don't even need to know how to skate).

Any advice you can give to new players? Don't give up and don't try to be as good as me. It doesn't make sense to have such high expectations and never attain your goal. Rather, go out and have fun. Skate around in circles and fall down every once in awhile, its ok.

Ann Huyck

Why did you start playing hockey? I got kicked off the HS wrestling team, chess team & Peace Club. I was always looking to start fights and they did not tolerate that in school. I figured hockey would give me an opportunity to lay someone out.

What is the toughest thing about playing hockey? The car ride to the rink and the car ride home. My dad thinks he knows everything. "Break the puck out of your zone faster", "Don't get caught too deep in their zone", "blah blah blah" is all he says. Have you ever seen him play? He shouldn't talk.

What equipment brands do you wear? Whoever pays me the most. I had a sponsorship with RBK, but after they dumped all their money into that Crosby kid, they didn't want to pay me what I felt I was worth. Whatever. I know Easton and Bauer will come crawling soon and even Gatorade called my agent the other day.

Do you wear make up when you play? You think that's a funny question? I can let you use my makeup to cover up the black eye and bruises I'll give you if you step on the ice.

Any advice to new players trying out the sport? Yes. Stay out of my way when I'm on the ice. It will be more fun for new players to skate around, shoot the puck and try and score when it doesn't involve me. My suggestion is to just give me the puck if you're playing against me.

Jon Young

Why did you get into playing hockey? I was extremely addicted to watching TV. I could not get enough Desperate Housewives, Days of Our Lives & The View. I only slept 2 hours a night and the doctor told me I had to do something or I would need serious medical attention. As I left the doctor and started crossing the street, I was almost hit by a Zamboni. It was like a sign from above.

Do you know others that play the sport? I didn't at first, but I've now made a ton of friends. Actually, Dan Zahn, Chris Pauli, Bryan Bane & Sara Keller are all now my roommates. We bought a 2 bedroom house just 4 blocks from Bucs Arena. We made a pact to not buy a television and spend our waking hours doing dryland training

What's your most memorable moment during a game? Once I was skating with the puck as fast as I could and lost an edge and fell. Quickly, I recovered and regained the puck . Then I did this out of control 360 degree spin and while falling again, swung at the puck and it went in. It didn't matter to me that this was just during warm ups and that there was no goalie in the net, it still felt good.

What advice would you give a new player? Don't watch too much TV, eat too much toast, or wear anything with the color red. If a stranger asks you to tie their shoe, politely say that you have to go to the hardware store. Should you forget your hockey stick at home, it's not a good idea to use a toilet plunger as a replacement. Keep your head up, your stick down & your mouth shut.

Sarah Lumbrezer

How did you get involved in hockey? My ancestors were at one of the very first hockey games ever. Players did not wear gear and only used skates & sticks. One game, my great-great-great-great grandfather witnessed a player constantly falling on his butt. He ran to his car and got some cardboard, dish sponges and newspaper. During the intermission, he grabbed that player and shoved all that stuff into the player's pants. The protection this offered was superior and all players wanted the same thing. Thus, the "Lumbrezer" was invented (know simply known as Breezers). I was busy running the family business and never had a chance to play until now.

If you could change one thing about hockey, what would it be? I would like to see 2 goalies in each net. Currently, it's so easy to score in our league. Any shot on net will almost always go in and scores of 94-87 are for basketball not hockey.

What makes you a good hockey player? Back in 2004, I did 4 years of hard time at Mitchellville Correctional for Women. Every day was a battle. Whether it was other women trying to take my dinner, or someone trying to lift my smokes, I had to fight to survive. This gave me some thick skin and allowed me to take on any challenge...even hockey.

How do you feel about the league being co-ed? I think it's great. The women in the league try hard to make the guys feel like they belong. We won't pressure them as much during scrimmage and this allows them to stickhandle a little longer. We realize that they are not as skilled as we are, but we accommodate since they don't have an "E" League yet.

Well there you have it. Some bits of info to make the D League a bit more personal and not as intimidating. Stop on out any Sunday at 2:30 PM at Bucs Arena to watch these players show their stuff. All we ask is that you don't ask for autographs until AFTER the players are changed and ready to leave.

What Do You Get When....

2010-10-19T22:01:00.005-05:00

There are things in this world that go great together.

Chocolate & Peanut Butter
McDonald's Fries & a Coca Cola
The Blackhawks & the Stanley Cup

On the flip side, there are certain things that when you combine them, do not go over as well. Take for example the C League match ups for this week.

Yankee Doodle Dandy Tattoo vs. Puck Hawgs
No game can have a good outcome where Matt Whiton (Voodoo) faces off against Dave Chongo (Hawgs). You have first against worst in this early match up and Voodoo can only hope that at least 2 players are on the bench as subs while the Hawgs lay down the bacon as the league's top team. Hawgs by 4.

Irwins vs Funky Pickle
Is there anything right about this? A pickle green bike with "Dill Pickle" written on the side of it using a Sharpie marker? Its a good thing Mark Massa (Irwins) donated the basket for the front, while Jake Anonson (Funky Pickle) volunteered to pose with it! Nice glasses Jake. Irwins by 2.

Alien Hockey Vs. Cup O' Kryptonite

Since there has been some heated games & strong rivalry between these two teams, they wanted to take an opportunity to help out a good cause this weekend. In a unified front, the two teams decided to sell some of Matt Johnson's famous coffee, with an Alien flavor. The recipe took a light roast blend of coffee and flavored it with mayonnaise, garlic pepper & a touch of gin to create an ever so special kick. The money raised went to help the "I Heart Bacon" Foundation. A huge thanks to Matt Haynes (Alien) for making the fabulous table sign, and Chris LeFleur (Alien) for providing the decorative gourds & blue tape. Seen here is Laura Stein (Kryptonite) pouring the coffee, while Mike Pedersen (Kryptonite) sports his Cubs colors while eating a Bacon Wrapped Chocolate Ball as Chris Hill (Kryptonite) looks on. Cup by 1

4th Annual Adult Turkey Tourney

2010-10-10T08:11:00.004-05:00

Its that time of year where we start making our plans for the holidays. What relatives will be coming over, who's bringing the cranberry sauce and what teams are playing football on Thanksgiving Day. According to Wikipedia:
The Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys have played home games on Thanksgiving since 1934 and 1966, respectively, in a series called the Thanksgiving Classic.

Adult hockey is on that same track with owning the day before Thanksgiving and having its 4th Annual Adult Hockey 3 on 3 Tourney this year.

Here are the details.

When: Wednesday, November 24th
Time: 5:30 - ? (games end approx 10:30 PM)
Where: Bucs Arena
Cost: $45
Includes: 4 games guaranteed, tourney jersey & pizza

Format:
We put up a foam divider all along the red line. 2 teams play cross ice in a 3 on 3 format. 4 teams are playing at the same time since each set of teams is on one side of the divider.

Games are (2) periods that last 15 minutes each (running clock). There is no icing or off-sides. If a goal is scored or a goalie freezes the puck, the attacking team must back out to a "respectful" distance in order for team to bring the puck out.

Teams are broken up into 2 divisions where 3 round robin games determine the rankings. After these games, the teams are seeded and play based on their ranking.

Teams are created by me after all players are registered. I attempt to make the teams as even as possible and the teams are created random in an effort for players to play with people they normally wouldn't play with.

With 4 teams playing on the ice, the other 4 teams get to watch, socialize, eat & drink. The lounge is open and 2 waves of pizza will be delivered for all to enjoy (included in fee). The bar will be open for drink purchases. Beer, soda & Gatorade will be available.

IMPORTANT PART:
Anyone who has played in this event will tell you it is an absolute blast. What makes it fun is that it is not taken serious from a competitive level. Players with varying skill levels have an opportunity to play with each with no pressure of being a superstar. Most recently, teams have added the ever popular "Goal Celebration" contest where players that score have to come up with creative ways to celebrate. I've said this many times, but it seems as though the teams that have the worst records seem to have the most fun.
Click here for past blog entries of Turkey Tourneys.
http://alienhockey.blogspot.com/2009/11/2009-turkey-tourney-results.html
http://alienhockey.blogspot.com/2009/11/burn-off-those-caloriesearly.html
http://alienhockey.blogspot.com/2008/11/turkey-tourney-is-back.html
http://alienhockey.blogspot.com/2007/11/burn-off-turkey-picks.html

Don't hesitate if you are a newer player. Most of the better skilled players look to help & assist the new players.

Teams are capped at 6 per team which means we only take 48 players & 8 goalies. With there being no league games on that Wednesday, players will want something to do. The fact that most are off on Thanksgiving Day also allows players that normally can't stay and socialize to hang out later. Registration has already begun and we are filling up, so don't delay!

You can register 2 ways.
Pay using Paypal or a credit card using the link located at the top right of this blog. You can also pay via check (payable to Alien Events) at Cup O Kryptonite Coffee & Comics. For directions visit www.cupokryptonite.com

Don't Forget every player gets a FREE jersey included with their entry fee custom designed by none other than the famous Aaron Clutts!!!

Calling All Beginners

2010-10-03T09:51:00.002-05:00

So you've watched hockey on TV, or gone to Bucs games or maybe have kids that play the sport and you wonder what it would be like to play.

"I've never skated" , "I'm too old to learn" or "There are no beginner leagues" are some of excuses or reasons I've heard from adults as to why they won't start playing hockey. Well there are no more excuses!

Currently, we have a true beginner adult hockey league that is in session. The league is currently in Week#4 of a 9 week session. We have 30 players and most are skating for the first time as adults. There are 10 women in the league and the age range of players is 14-50+.

The group has practices/games on Sundays at 2:30 - 4:00 PM and it consists of 45 minutes of practice and a 45 minute scrimmage. We work on skating, passing & shooting drills and during the scrimmage we focus on positioning and game play.

Our goal is to have a 4 team Novice league once this 9 week session ends. The beauty of the league is a player can join at anytime. We will prorate the fee and are encouraging all newcomers to join. We need to have at least 40 players at the start of the next session which will most likely start on November 14th and run 20 weeks. Game times will be at 2:30 & 4:00 PM (still on Sundays).

At a minimum, come out anytime to Bucs Arena and watch the league practice. Once you see it, you should be able to say "I CAN do that." If you have any questions about league structure, costs, gear on anything else, email me and let me know.

If you are already a player in any of the other leagues, use this as a way to recruit your friends, neighbors and co-workers into hockey.

Hope to see many new faces on Sundays!

A Goodbye Tribute to Shane Bast

2010-09-28T21:59:00.007-05:00

As many know, most of my posts are sarcastic, humorous and most of the time fictional. This post is not.

Many probably know that long time Alien Hockey goaltender, Shane Bast & his new wife (just got married this past weekend) will be moving to San Antonio. Although a great move for them, a big void is left in Des Moines with Shane & Jen's departure.

My goal with this final farewell is to not take away the positives of their move, but to shed some light on Shane and what he has meant to hockey in Des Moines. Most people reading this have either played with or against him at some point in their hockey careers. However, many may not know the man behind the mask as Shane is not the bragging the type, but his heart was all about the game and all who played it.

I met Shane at our Alien Hockey store years ago. He was the team rep for the ISU Hockey Team and was bringing me some merchandise to sell. On one of his visits, he decided to try on some goalie skates. We talked about his playing experience at which point he said "none". Needless to say, he bought the skates and left the store. Mikey & I were puzzled as to why someone would just buy goalie skates and "decide" that they wanted to be a goalie. We figured nothing more of it and felt like we would not see him again. After several more visits to our shop and buying all the gear, we realized he was making a serious attempt at being a goalie. As we were forming our first C League team, we did not have a goalie and talked about possibly giving Shane the spot. Here was a person who supported our business and was dedicated enough to get all the gear WITHOUT having a team, the decision was easy. As they say in stories like this, the rest is history.

Shane has played with an Alien Team ever since that day (even through the dark years of Alien Thug). He has also subbed for just about every team in C League, has played A, B & D, played in the Iowa Chops League and almost every single tournament or event we have put on. Shane never discriminated and subbed for anyone needing it. He's had days where he played several games in a row because that's what needed to be done. I remember a day when a player on our team emailed me prior to a new season starting immediately after Shane's first season with us. The theme of the email was that our team was very good and could be even better if we found a different goalie. As politely as I could, I said our goalie situation was just fine, but the player sending the email could find a new team to play on if they wanted to.

Shane has been an instrumental player in getting our group to travel to Las Vegas 3 years in a row. He worked for me in our shop, helped me take the store apart when we closed, helped move it into PS Sportszone, and helped me there as well. He learned to sharpen skates and become a goalie advisor to many of our customers.

For Shane it was never about winning. Although he frequently got upset at himself (and broke many sticks early on), he never pointed a finger at another player and never said a negative word to his teammates. After each game, the process was the same. If we won 5-4 or lost 10-0, Shane was always socializing afterwards. The game, was after all, just that... a game. He was more concerned and focused on the fact that he was able to be friends with so many great people.

He attended camps like Champions Hockey Academy, he held season tickets to both Chops & Bucs, he has been a regular at the D League, helping me run drills and giving newer goalies advice. For Shane, this was not a hobby, not a form of recreation & not a way to showcase his skill. It is a lifestyle that he lives & breathes. Why else would a person help run practices for youth hockey. He was a regular at my kid's practices as well as Adam Lowells. He was the big "teddy bear" guy out there with no kid of his own, yet putting in the effort as if all the kids were his. He helped out at in the equipment area of the Iowa Stars/Chops and even went to Detroit with me for a hockey trade show.

Beyond the hockey, Shane & Jen attended just about every non-hockey event we put on. Whether it be a Bishop's night out, Dylo Family BBQ or a Blomquist pig roast, Shane & Jen were there. Again, not out of necessity, but out of the friendships he created. Other activities like Fantasy football and paintball were things he did with the all his friends and hockey happened to be a common bond that brought it all together. He took NHL figures and repainted them by hand to an exact replica of each one of his Vegas teammates the first year we went. It was detailed down to the gear we actually wore...and he asked nothing for them in return. He made the D League Trainer's Trophy that we still use today without a request from anyone to do it.

Players both young & old know Shane. As much as he likes to joke, pick on and antagonize others, he truly enjoys playing with everyone. My kid has had many an opportunity to not only skate with Shane but be around him off the ice. Young players like Ann Huyck & Scott Kelley have had an opportunity to not only get insulted by Shane, but also to get words of encouragement. My belief is that its not always about how much you know about the game, but rather how you can make others feel good about their progress, and Shane is always their to help lift someone's spirits.

With the passing of the torch (or goalie stick) by Shane to our new Alien goalies, many things can be said. Dan Bishop tries to fill the skates of an Alien Legend. Although we believe we cannot "replace" what Shane brings to our team, we do know that Bishop will help carry on his legacy (after all, Bishop was Shane's Best Man). Also in the wings, we bring in a newcomer goalie of Lisa Nissen. Here is a person that shows a similar passion for the game as she bought all the gear and jumped right in last season to a D League team. When Shane first mentioned to me he was leaving, we discussed who a good replacement would be and Lisa's name came up right away. You can bring on the most skilled skilled goalie to your team and play extremely well, but if they don't fit in with a fun personality and relaxed attitude, how much fun will it really be?

In would not be fair to end this story without a thanks to his new wife Jen. Coming from a hockey family myself, I know the time, commitment and strain hockey can put on those around us. Jen has not only supported Shane in all his hockey activities, she also encourages it. Through the countless games she has attended and even through the "surprise" gifts she has purchased him, Jen is there every step of the way. For this, the Alien crew, significant others & all players thank you. To show that Shane has a soft spot in his heart for Jen as well, I need to share this quick story. One day on my way to a Chops League game, Shane calls me to ask if I can find another goalie. It being short notice, I said I'd try. My thoughts were that his job took him out of town that day and he was not making it back in time. I came to find out that Jen lost her job that day, and Shane felt it was more important to stay home with her for support and miss his game.

The soft side of Shane came out again at his wedding this weekend. Although he was his sarcastic self throughout the wedding ceremony and most of the reception, he showed his emotion through some tears during a video presentation. The pictures of him & Jen growing up as kids and ending with a short "goodbye" segment from his Alien teammates, even got to him (and most of us). My purpose for this blog entry is not to create any more tears as it's already difficult enough for Shane & Jen to make this move and for us to lose a great friend. Rather, I wanted all to see the side of person that has become a regular fixture at both rinks and know that good people like this do exist and that hockey brings us closer together. Who else would skate the morning of his wedding with 20+ of his closest friends and make an entrance to his reception through an archway made of hockey sticks?

As your defenseman, teammate & most importantly your friend, I say thanks. Not for your goaltending, but for having the huge impact on all the hockey player's lives you have come in contact with. You will be missed and never replaced.