All A Bunch Of Momsense

I’m not Dead!

2012-02-08T22:26:00.001-05:00

Unless, of course, dead tired counts.

It doesn’t, though.

It is the busiest time of the year for me. Lots of late nights, early mornings, hold muzak, paper cuts and computer screens.

This tax season has not been without its quirks. My twitter is a mess of fussing over IRS issues. I’ve talked to IRS agents, Indiana E-file coordinators, software developers, clients, support teams, and myself. (I talk to myself a LOT. I think, at this point, I’m the only one who listens to me.)

On the home front, the house is still standing. I know, because I do manage to show up to fall into bed there. The Christmas tree is still standing, too. (No laughing.)

The kids seem to be doing well – I get that rushed hour of getting ready for the day with them each morning, and bits and pieces of other time. Rumor is the husband is doing ok too. Blessedly, he’s kept the home fires burning. I usually come home to dinner waiting, and he even stocked my freezer here at the office with a variety of TV dinners that I can nuke and eat while I sit on hold, waiting for someone at the IRS to answer the phone.

My great state, and specifically our capital city of Indianapolis, hosted a pretty rockin’ Super Bowl week. Helped a ton that our weather was INCREDIBLE. Loved that the Pats lost.

I’m missing my “Imaginary Friends”. I’m missing my “IRL” friends, too. Mostly, right now, I’m missing my bed. So with that, I’m sliding out, but I had a minute, and wanted to reassure myself that I was, in fact, not dead.

A Winner and Some Random Thoughts

2012-01-15T23:14:00.001-05:00

It’s that time of year again.

The hours are long. The time to write almost non-existent.

As such, I’ve failed to post my winner for the My Memories Suite!

Without further ado, and with thanks to Random.org, let’s pick a winner, shall we?

Congratulations, Elizabeth! I’ll be in touch!

In other news, the kids are back in school. My Christmas tree is still up. (Probably should be dealing with that instead of writing a post with no real point to it, huh? Professional procrastination.

Those of you who have prayed for us, for our challenges with our son, thank you. Please don’t stop. It’s still very up and down. These next few months, always a challenging time anyway, could be even more so. We’re still working on it all, and it provides me a great deal of peace to know you all are out there thinking of us.

It’s late, and I’m struggling to stay awake at this point, so I’m going to call it a night! Have a wonderful week.

My Memories

2011-12-30T20:34:00.002-05:00

I have really great intentions. I have boxes of paper, special scissors, cute little corner things. Dozens of prints, waiting to be trimmed, framed, embellished.
In my mind, I create beautiful scrapbook pages. My kids’ pictures are perfectly cropped with detailed edges and immaculately aligned mats. Journaling is color-coordinated in flawless handwriting, with nary a scribble in sight.
In real life? I have a couple different scrapbooks that I MIGHT have finished two or three pages in. The edges are crooked. The mats don’t match up quite right. Journaling? Yeah, I’m not sure my kids didn’t write those simple paragraphs.
I’m full of brilliant ideas, but not so good with execution. Add into the mix that my life is a digital one – I blog, I tweet, I Facebook. I use a digital camera or my cell phone to take pictures. I rarely print any of them. As such, the idea of a digital solution appeals to me!
I was given the opportunity to use MyMemories Digital Scrapbooking Software. People? I can do this. See!?

I did this as a 5x7 page, and could have totally used it as a Christmas Card! (Except, I took to long. But now I’m ON it for next year!)
And now I’m envisioning birthday invitations… fun post-vacation postcards… And oh.my.word, first day of school postcards to the grandparents? The kids could share their own little stories of the first day, and that photo we always take? The happy grandparent gushing of it all…
There are great premade templates to get you started, and literally hundreds of pieces to build your own layouts within the MyMemories Suite, plus tons of great additional packages. The scrapbook software itself is very user-friendly, with several export options, allowing for sharing in print or online. You can even make video montages of your favorite pages. (What a great idea for a wedding or baby’s first birthday!)
I might even get around to doing something like a baby book for each of my kids, since pretty much every picture of them ever is digital. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
I’ve had a blast playing with frames, photos and embellishments, and I want YOU to get to play along! The great folks at MyMemories are going to let me give one of YOU a copy of their MyMemories Suite v3 - a $40 value!
So, here’s how to enter:
1. Leave me a comment telling me what your FIRST project would be – a montage of the kiddies? A beautiful image from your wedding? A photo of grandpa with that trophy fish? Share that memory!
2. Head over to the My Memories site and poke around, then tell me what scrap pack you’re in love with – I’m eyeing this Winter Fantasy 3 pack! Be sure to leave it in a separate comment!

3. Tweet about it! You can say what you’d like, but be sure to include @MyMemoriesSuite , @TaxMegan, and a link to this giveaway! Here’s an easy copy-paste for you, if that will help!

I want to win @MyMemoriesSuite scrapbook software from @TaxMegan at http://bit.ly/sZH56J

Once you’ve tweeted, shoot me a link to your tweet as a separate comment here!
You’ve got three possible entries for an endless collection of memories – what a great way to start the New Year! Entries will close at 11:59pm Eastern on Thursday, January 5, 2012.
Don’t want to wait? Ask me how to save $10 on your purchase of the My Memories Suite!

Disclaimer: I was provided a copy of the My Memories Suite at no cost to review, as well as a copy to give to one of you. All opinions here are my own. At the close of the entry period, the winner will be selected using random.org to identify the “winning” comment. Any questions regarding this giveaway should be submitted by email to me at allabunchofmomsense (at) gmail (dot) com.

Exploring the Pieces

2011-12-10T08:30:00.001-05:00

Every comment.

The tweets of support.

Each time I’ve read the words that I wrote.

You guys, the tears have been pretty prevalent. Those were hard to write. It was REALLY hard to hit publish. What I put here? These are my memories. This place is my journal, where I can record my life. My kids’ childhood. The things I WANT to remember, to see? I want them to be the happy things.

But real life isn’t always happy. And I promised myself when I started this that I was going to be real.

The pain? The anger?

It’s real. It’s more real than I could ever imagine.

Knowing that it was time to put it here meant it was time to find other answers too. It was not something that I was going to be able to fix.

That was hard, too.

I’m his mom. I should be able to fix it. And I failed.

Ouch.

I did, however, take advantage of some resources. I’ve had a couple of conversations, he’s had a conversation. Not with each other, not about this, not yet. But we’re working on it, and we have help with it.

So, thank you. Thank you for understanding, for supporting, for encouraging, for praying. Don’t stop yet, we’ve got a long way to go, and it comforts me to know that you’re out there pulling for us.

We’re going to get there, though. Because I won’t fail completely. There are too many people out there ready to help carry me.

Broken

2011-12-04T15:14:00.001-05:00

It just makes me want to cry.

He’s so angry – at me, at his dad.

I don’t know why. It’s not new, either. We go through phases where it’s better, then it is worse again. Mood swings. Violent, turbulent swings.

It’s been this way for a long time. I kept thinking that it would get better, but it isn’t. Not at all.

I want to fix it. I want to make it better. I’m his mom, it’s my job.

But I don’t know how.

I’m not sure how to fix it when I don’t know for sure why it’s broken. Or even what is actually broken.

But it is.

And it’s breaking my heart.

Oh, HI! Remember me?

2011-11-28T19:01:00.001-05:00

Oops.

Not so good at this blogging thing sometimes! It’s been three weeks since I’ve posted, and it’s not even tax season!

We’ve been keeping busy, doing a little this and a little that.

I joined the Pinterest craze. I would LOVE to tell you that I haven’t blogged because I’ve been pinning, but roughly 80% of the time I try to use Pinterest, it doesn’t work, so I quit. Even still, I’ve found some fun things to pin.

My husband won a pair of Colts tickets from Jim Irsay on twitter. (I’d tell you to follow my husband, but it would be a wasted effort. He doesn’t tweet, except to Irsay. That potential social media addiction is lost to him – it would interfere with his online poker.) It wasn’t the amazing, multi-post worthy experience I had back in January, but I’m all about any chance I can get to see my Colts play in person. If you follow the NFL at ALL, you know that the consistently amazing Colts team is … not so amazing this year. We’ve not won a single game yet. Rough.

You know that saying about lemons and making lemonade?

When you’re having a really bad year, the bandwagon fans who have tickets to games are willing to sell them really cheap.

I jumped on StubHub, and we had the chance to take our sons to their very first Colts / NFL game. Totally surprised them with their tickets, took our time after the game just wandering around Lucas Oil, took lots of pictures, and while we still lost the game, we won the day.

(Eli in our seats; Jeep in our seats; My Guys in front of LOS; Jeep & Eli in front of the field & window in Lucas Oil.)

We had a wonderful time, and a fresh round of thanks to Jim Irsay and the Colts organization for helping make it all possible!

I think that will do it for tonight!

A little follow-up

2011-11-07T20:09:00.001-05:00

I must extend my thanks to the folks over at BlogFrog -

I tweeted to them, crushed, when voting closed early on the Hero Mom Contest. It was, however, the weekend, and they weren’t on hand immediately.

In the meantime, a kind soul stepped up and offered to cover the cost for Colette’s trip.

Tonight, I was contacted by a representative at BlogFrog.

They acknowledged that an error had, in fact, taken place. Time zone issues, changes from the norm, human error. It happens.

They obviously couldn’t give me that last 30 minutes, couldn’t put me into that top five spot.

They did, however, graciously and humbly apologize, and offer up a $100 gift card, which would have been our “guaranteed” prize for being in the top 5.

That card is, of course, going to be sent to Colette & Tammy, for Colette to use as spending money while in Nova Scotia. (That was our “back-up” plan anyway, just in case we didn’t win the whole enchilada.)

So, while that $2,500 would have been great, and having that nice, big donation for the folks over at Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation would have been AWESOME, we’re so blessed. Blessed. Colette’s trip is paid for, she has some spending money, we’ve raised some awareness for pediatric cancer.

Thank you again to all of you who put up with all my tweets and such begging for your votes, and special thanks to each of you who voted and shared!

Losing. And Winning.

2011-11-05T11:52:00.001-04:00

I went to bed crushed. Broken hearted.

Feeling cheated.

After all the tweets, the Facebook posts, the blog posts, I was watching the Hero Mom contest like a hawk. I knew the end time. I watched as we started out down 11 votes for that coveted fifth place spot. I saw the votes roaring up, and we grabbed it, leading by as many as 23 votes.

Then, in the last couple of hours, that sixth place person started sneaking back up.

And up.

With half an hour left until the 11:59 pm Central time deadline, we were down 2 votes. I went to resend the link and realized the page was… different.

Locked.

It was over. It wasn’t supposed to be, but the top five spots were locked in, and we missed it by two votes.

My Hero Mom wasn’t going to get a $100 gift card. She wasn’t going to be in the running for the $2,500.

Sixth place. By two votes.

I was sad, and truth told, I was angry. Angry that we didn’t get that last half hour. I felt cheated. I felt my Hero Mom had been cheated.

This morning was a little better. I was still sad, disappointed. Hurt. I tweeted with several people, Facebooked with others. I shared what happened, was comforted and supported.

My Hero Mom posted these words:

Honey, it's ok :) your friendship and care is worth more than money to me! ♥ I'm sure the money will come through for us, God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, after all :)

People? At that very moment, as those words were being written, God was providing.

I was contacted. The money for Colette’s trip?

Covered.

In full.

I’ve cried an awful lot this morning. I’ll probably have a sinus infection, because I am the world’s snottiest crier, but the happy tears? I can shed them over and over again.

For all of you who voted, shared, tweeted, facebooked, and generally tolerated my internet harassment, thank you.

And for YOU?

There are not thanks enough.

Hit the Wall

2011-11-02T20:19:00.001-04:00

I confessed to a friend today that I’ve hit a wall.

A physical & emotional wall.

I’m tired. My house is a full on disaster. I’m not pulling my weight at work. I have a ton of stuff that I should be doing, and could be doing, and I don’t want to.

I want to go to bed.

Halloween is one of my most favorite holidays – I am the pumpkin-picking, jack-o-lantern carving, costume shopping queen.

We bought pumpkins Saturday. The kids carved theirs on Sunday at my in-laws. Mine? Faceless.

Oh, and we didn’t even take them out of our van when we got back home. They never even saw a candle.

I don’t know what this is, but I’m over it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to be happy, and love my job, and accomplish things.

I want to blog, and take pictures, and cook. I want to decorate, and celebrate, and enjoy. I want to make a pot of spiced cider and have it simmering on the stove all day, filling the house with its magical smells of fall.

I want to want to get out of bed.

(P.S. – We can still vote for my Hero Mom, Tammy, through Friday the 4th! You can vote every 24 hours. Thanks!)

Hero Moms, Flannel Sheets & Squeaky Toys

2011-10-28T05:30:00.000-04:00

Time for 5 Question Friday with Mama M.!

First, though, my Hero Mom link!

And now, my not quite seven minutes of : Hero Moms, flannel sheets and squeaky toys!

Complete with ridiculous frozen image. Thanks for that, YouTube.

Let’s Go Fly a Kite…

2011-10-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

…Wordless Wednesday

P.S. – Please consider voting for the Hero Mom in my life!

Hero Mom

2011-10-23T20:28:00.001-04:00

She’s no different from any other mom – when our kids are sick, we take care of them. We take them to doctors appointments, dispense medications, cuddle and comfort them.

The difference for her was that her child had cancer. The doctors were oncologists. The medications were injected through a port in her two year old daughter’s chest. Cuddles and comforts were in hospital rooms around IVs. A fever meant an ER trip, not another dose of Tylenol. Holidays were spent in isolation after a stem cell transplant.

That was six years ago now, and today that little girl is going to be nine soon. She’s cancer-free, and full of life. And she wants to share her story.

Allstate & The Blog Frog have an opportunity where we can help.

You don’t have to sign up. No emails, no linking your Facebook or Twitter. You just go to the page & click the “Vote” button. All we need is to finish in the top five. You can vote once a day, and each and every vote is so valuable.

You see, one of the Hero Moms, one of the top five based on our votes, will win $2,500. My Hero Mom? She’ll get the money they need for her to take her daughter on a mission trip to share her story of faith and her battle with cancer, along with the after-effects of treatment. The remaining money will be donated to the Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation to help fund research grants so that in the future, kids will have better treatment options.

Please, click on this image to go vote for my post for my Hero Mom, Tammy, and her daughter Colette.

I’ll love ya forever!

Modification

2011-10-18T21:41:00.001-04:00

I whined at her.

After being certain I was on death’s door, and whining at you all, I whined at Julia via twitter.

And then?

I sucked it up and made my person MOVE.

It wasn’t Julia’s workout of the day, I only had managed part of it. (Seriously, the woman wanted 45-second planks. That’s a form of torture, I think it may have been outlawed by something like the Geneva Convention!)

What did I do? How kind of you to ask! I busted out my Wii. With my children watching in horror, I used the “tough” workout mode thing on our Just Dance 2, threw down better than 1100 “sweat” points, and then went ahead and died again.

I have decided that it’s not cheating. It’s recognizing my own physical limitations, and modifying my workout. Because this is not about doing Julia’s Mom Workout of the Day (because Julia is a personal trainer, and is amazing, and I am in awe of her!) but it’s about doing more for ME. It’s about getting healthier. It’s about strengthening my core, maybe carving an inch or two off of my mommy pooch, and just FEELING better.

But, she did promise that tomorrow would be easier.

Thank goodness.

Um. Yeah. It’s challenging!

2011-10-18T16:14:00.001-04:00

I blew day one.

Day two isn’t much better.

Day one coincided with extension deadline day, and I worked a long day. I did not get up early (like I intended) to do any working out for the 30 Day Challenge, and I did not do it when I got home.

Because I sucked.

It’s now 4:08 on day two. I did the warm up.

After I finished dying, I did some of the workout.

And died more.

People?

I am a wuss.

I’m going to keep working on this! I do not want to be a wuss!

Julia? She’s not a wuss. Her JOB is to kick my butt. She’s doing a fine job of it.

I *CAN* do this, even if I can’t do everything Julia wants me to do. I can do some exercise, and get healthier.

First, though? I’m gonna get another glass of water.

30 Day Challenge : In the Beginning

2011-10-16T12:36:00.001-04:00

So, I almost bailed before I even started.

And then I remembered I posted a whole post about it.

There’s that accountability thing.

As such, I have just shared these things with Julia, as we kick off for real tomorrow, and I’m sharing them with you all as well.

Please disregard the chaos that is the front of our refrigerator. We were looking for a better place to take the pic, but frankly, we didn’t have one.

The profile picture was the one that was important to me – that squishy part just above my waistband? THAT is my target as far as working on my overall shape. My core. I’d like to tighten that up a bit, strengthen the core muscles and know that it’s also helping my back. (Because it will!)

Here are the other details:

Weight : 115 lbs

(Height, although not requested, is 5'4")

Biceps : 10.5"

Waist : 29.25"

Hips : 37.5"

Thighs : 19.75" (left) 19.0" (right)

Chest : 31.5"

Pushups : 28 (16 military, next 12 needed knees down)

Situps : 19

(The pushups and situps were what I could do in one minute.)

Ok, Julia. Bring.It.On. My squishy stuff is ready for you!

Are you in!?

2011-10-07T12:01:00.001-04:00

You know how sometimes, you’re just feeling blah?

You’re tired, cranky, not eating well, not getting enough exercise or movement into your day. Not drinking enough water, drinking TOO MUCH coffee/tea/soda.

I’m there.

And I’m feeling it. And seeing it!

My skin looks awful, the circles under my eyes are vicious, I’m tired, I spent much of last night bursting into tears over absolutely nothing. My husband and kids are having to tip-toe around me because I’m some sort of physical, mental and emotional wreck.

And I *HATE* it.

Here’s the deal – I’m not overweight, but I am out of shape. My eating habits stink, because I’m that girl that can eat anything and not gain weight, so I do. And then I want to be all surprised that I don’t feel like a million bucks! Duh, Megan! You’re fueling your body with junk, you don’t exercise regularly, you are going to get from it what you put into it.

I was going to the gym for a while a couple of years ago, and it was great. Except for the part where I had to get up at some ridonkulous hour of the morning to go so that I could be home to get everyone up for work/school. That was fine until the busiest part of tax season hit, and I wasn’t leaving work until midnight (or later) and sleep won. Then, I blew a disk in my back and was scared to do anything.

Now? My back is feeling pretty good, I know I need to do this, and so, you all are gonna be my “gym buddies” – holding me accountable for sticking with this over the 30 days.

And maybe even joining me, if you so choose! (You don’t have to share all of it with us if you don’t want to!)

I’m going to join my blogging friend Julia in her 30 Day Challenge, which will be kicking off soon. Sign up with me right over here at her Mom Workout of the Day blog (and give it a follow – she posts quick, easy at home workouts each day to help you feel better, even without doing the challenge!)

So – who’s in!?

Wiped

2011-10-01T22:07:00.001-04:00

You know that point in your day where you look around and you think about all of the things you still have to do, and you’re just too stinking tired to do it all? Or you know there simply isn’t time to fit it all in?

Guess what loses first?

Yeah, your blog.

So, I’ve been busy, just got home from New Orleans. Work stuff (mostly) with lots of good food thrown in.

Been really busy with PTO and school stuff, too.

And now?

I’m so tired my screen is swimming.

BUT.

I wanted you all to know I’m not dead, and I took some fun pictures, and once I have been allowed to sleep like a normal adult whose kids are not still infants, I’ll be here to share it all with you!

So, thanks for being awesome, and I’ll be back soon. I promise!

U.S. Army PFC Brett Wood

2011-09-18T16:06:00.001-04:00

This was not a young man that I knew. He was simply a young man who grew up near here.

While I celebrated the birth of my son, another mother, just a few miles away, lost hers.

On Friday, September 9, 2011, 19 year old PFC Brett Wood gave his life in service, killed by a roadside bomb in the Kandahar Province of Afghanistan. This morning, Sunday, September 18, 2011, escorted by his brother Nikk, 21, PFC Wood returned home.

I went to the airport to welcome him home. The weather was fitting – it was cool, cloudy. A soft rain fell. Umbrellas were outnumbered by American flags. I saw bikers, businessmen and Boy Scouts. Mothers holding toddlers.

I stood first in a parking lot that I know well, quietly waiting in the rain. I didn’t bring an umbrella down with me, I wanted my hands free. I’d been there a few minutes when a woman walked up to me, offering me a small flag of my own to hold. I’m sure I looked a sight, dripping wet, no makeup, all alone, but it felt fitting.

The plane passed over the airfield twice, then circled around to land. As it taxied towards the hanger where the family was gathered, two fire trucks sprayed crossing streams over it.

I stood in the back of the hangar and awed at the complete stillness. Other than the occasional whimper of a small child and the hum of some piece of equipment in the building, it was silent.

PFC Wood, thank you for your service to our country.

All is well.

Safely rest.

God is near.

A Thank You! Note Thursday

2011-09-15T17:39:00.001-04:00

I’m going to steal a page from This Daddy here for a minute and do my very first:

Thank You!

Note Thursday

As I mentioned before, last Friday was E’s birthday. My mother had purchased a really cool gift for him that she had spotted and KNEW he’d love. It was this watch, a Real Tech Spy Net watch. It has a lie detector, camera, records video and photos, a voice recorder, yada yada, and then you plug it in to your computer and get spy missions from their website. Just right up a nine year old boy alley.

Only, it wouldn’t charge. We opened the whole thing up on Sunday when our family got together to celebrate our birthdays, and I plugged it in, and it would SAY it was charging, but as soon as I unplugged it, nothing.

Now, first, understand that my mom has had it, in hiding for him, for almost a year. My thought was that the battery was probably shot, so off I went to the battery place.

The guy there couldn’t help me. Told me he wasn’t even sure what kind of battery pack it was (he didn’t want to void any warranties by taking it TOO far apart, which I appreciated!) so he recommended I contact the manufacturer and ask for battery specs and he’d see what one cost. He did mention it looked similar to what was in an iPhone, so his best guess was around $30. (Ouch!)

Home I went, and off to the manufacturer’s website, where I exchanged a series of emails with one of their customer service people. I described the problem, they gave me a few suggestions, we tried some stuff. Still not charging. Unfortunately, after all that, he left off with letting me know that it was outside of their warranty period, and that I could ship it to them and they’d SEE if they could fix it, but if they couldn’t, they’d just have to send it back.

Honestly, that was pretty much what I expected. After all, it is a kids toy, and she had purchased it literally last October. She had already had it almost a year, and the fact that we had just gotten around to opening the box didn’t mean much.

Enter: The Seller.

On a leap of faith, I emailed the place where it was purchased. They asked me to give them a call, so I did. I spoke to a very nice lady named Sharon and explained the situation. She was hesitant too, no real hope that we could return or exchange it. But she was willing to give it a shot, so she plugged the information into the system.

And she gasped. Just a little, but definitely out loud.

“We can let you return it!”

So cool! I can send back the broken toy, and we are ordering a replacement for him tonight, so E is going to get the cool Spy Watch. So for all that I want to say

Thank You!

to the fabulous people at QVC! Thank you for not making my mom eat the money she spent on this watch just because she’s a planner and KNEW my son would love it, so ordered it way ahead of time. Thanks to Sharon for giving it a shot, and even thank you to the battery guy and the customer service guy at the company who were at least willing to try to help me fix it since we all assumed I wouldn’t be able to return it.

I love a good customer service story, and I have to tell you, I’ve NEVER had a bad experience with QVC. Don’t let that home shopping channel concept scare you – give ‘em a shot!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-09-13T00:02:00.000-04:00

It’s my birthday.

You can get me a present.

It’s easy, and it’s free, and I’ll love you forever.

You see, it’s also Childhood Cancer Awareness Day. But people don’t know that. The pink ribbon products for October have already begun creeping in.

Please, don’t misunderstand what I am trying to say. I think support for breast cancer is important, too, but September? September is for our kids.

Kids like Colette.

This was Colette in 2005. In May of that year, just about 2 weeks after Morgan, Colette was diagnosed with Stage IV neuroblastoma. She was two and a half years old.

Colette endured surgery. Chemotherapy. Radiation. A Stem Cell transplant.

Can I share a little something with you?

Typically, pediatric cancers do not have their own treatment options. What kids get is simply smaller doses of adult treatments. Sadly, these treatments can leave kids with lasting issues. Colette? She now wears hearing aides, as the treatments she endured saved her live, but stole much of her hearing. Secondary cancers are common. So is infertility.

The National Cancer Institute’s federal budget=$4.6 billion. Breast cancer research receives approximately 12% of that funding. Prostate cancer gets 7%. ALL TWELVE major groups of pediatric cancers COMBINED received less than 3% of it.

Maybe I’m biased. That could be. And that’s ok – this area is my passion, my focus.

I believe our children deserve better. And I think, as we continue to raise awareness of the reality of the issue, there will be a shift.

This is Colette 6 years after diagnosis. This summer, she officially hit the “Five Year Cancer-Free” mark, which is huge.

I want more of our kids to see the five year mark.

I want there to be better options. New treatments. Less long-term side effects.

I want people to KNOW.

And that part? The knowing? That’s what I want from you, for my birthday. I want you to help others know. I’ve created a Twibbon that will let you add a gold ribbon to your twitter and facebook images. Would you consider that? Just for today.

It would be a pretty sweet birthday gift.

If you do, please leave me a comment and let me know, won’t you?

Thanks.

We’ll Be O.K.

2011-09-11T17:38:00.001-04:00

I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever stop crying openly when I see the images from September 11, 2001.

Part of me wants to. Stop crying, that is. Sometimes the moment is so inopportune. Last year on the 10th, walking up the sidewalk to the front doors of my children’s school, the flag was at half-mast.

It hit me like a punch in the gut.

Another part of me never wants to be so numbed to those events that I don’t cry.

I want it to continue to impact me so strongly, and remind me to be the best person I can be.

This morning, my family gathered together and watched “102 Minutes that Changed America”. As I wept in front of my children, we talked. We talked about where we were, and the fear in our hearts. We talked about the brave men and women who went into those buildings to try to save those trapped inside.

For 102 minutes, my children absorbed the images, and they absorbed my broken heart.

My children came over to comfort me.

Jeep was just over the six-month mark when the attacks happened. Eli & Melissa – not even a thought yet.

It will never be as real to them as it is to those of us who spent hours in front of our televisions. As real as it is to those who cried out as they realized the first tower had fallen. Who stared in horror as the second fell.

It will never be as real to them as it is to those children who lost parents in the tragic events of that day. To the kids who were infants, just like Jeep, or even still waiting to make their entrance into this world, and will never know the love of their daddy, or remember the caress of their mother.

Part of me is grateful that my children do not know that reality. For them, it’s almost like a movie – images on a screen of buildings they never saw. A skyline they never knew, forever changed.

But the rest of me? That part of me is grateful that my children have seen me weep openly over those images. That we’ve talked about the events of that day. That they are aware that it was real. It was not a movie.

Maybe one day, I won’t cry every time.

Today? I’ll cry. And that will be ok.

We will be ok.

Happy Birthday, E!

2011-09-09T16:40:00.001-04:00

I can’t believe it was nine years ago.

This kid – who is pretty good at giving you the stink-eye – is NINE today.

With his cheesy smile, even when they are doing such CRAZY things as having to flush a bug from his ear.

today we’re celebrating a “Magical Birthday” of sorts!

You see, because it’s 9/9, and he’s nine! (Isn’t that FUN!?)

I hope that forever he has an ocean of dreams before him,

and his family to run to when that ocean seems ready to swallow him.

That he’s never afraid to set sail and try something new.

To my E,

I love you more than words can express. You are the tender-hearted warrior of our family. The compassion I see that pours from you fills my heart. You love fiercely, hurt easily, forgive swiftly.

You amaze me, every single day.

All my love, on this, your Magical Birthday,

Mommy

Gold

2011-09-05T21:06:00.001-04:00

I touch on it when I blog in September.

It’s so very important to me. Especially now, as a mom.

Six and a half years ago, it became real. It wasn’t just a St. Jude commercial, distant and vague. It was Morgan. It was a little girl in our boys’ Sunday School class. It was a face we knew, they were parents we talked to, it was a little sister we saw.

It was cancer.

It was aggressive.

It was already stage 4, and they had just found it.

Literally two days before her fifth birthday.

As they told us in that service, I wept, clinging to my daughter. I shared glances with my friend Bethany, who also held her little girl, both of us afraid to let go. Afraid.

And it wasn’t our child. I can’t begin to fathom the fear in the hearts of Morgan’s mom and dad.

Chemo. Radiation. Stem Cell Transplant. 3f8. Central lines. So much to put such a little person through, and they face it. Every day.

It tears my heart out to think about kids having to face the monster that is cancer. It’s difficult enough for an adult, but adults can understand what’s happening. They can face the repeated sticks for blood draws, the injections, the scans, knowing that it’s to help them get better. How do you explain that to a child?

How do you talk about death, their own potential death, with your child?

We lost Morgan nearly a year ago now. She fought, with her family by her side, for 5 and a half years. She was ten years old.

Ten.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

I wear the Gold ribbon for her. For our other friends, those we’ve lost, those still fighting, and those who are NED*.

*NED is “No evidence of disease. Many pediatric cancers are not declared “cured” until the patient has been NED for 5 years, the typical window of reoccurrence.

An Open Letter to my Children

2011-08-30T08:50:00.001-04:00

Dear kids,

I know that sometimes it drives you crazy when I tell you to do things like clean your room, or brush your hair, or go play outside for a while. I know you are convinced I am the meanest person in the world when I won’t let you spend the entire day parked in front of the PlayStation, or the Wii, or just the TV. I know it makes you angry when I insist that things like homework get done as soon as you get home from school.

Please know that I do these things because I love you.

I know you won’t really know that for a while, but one day you’ll know it, and that will have to be enough for me for now.

You see, God gave me a job to do when He gave me you. I am to raise responsible, well rounded, giving, loving people. Doing that – raising those people? It can be hard. For as much as I might drive you crazy, I promise there are days that you are also driving me crazy. That’s part of life. It won’t be perfect.

There will be days where we will fight (and as we approach the teen years, those will only get worse!) but I believe we can heal and grow from each dispute.

There will be days when we will feel overwhelmed, and maybe even a little smothered. Where we need to just walk away for a minute. Please know that you will always be able to walk back, and I will be waiting.

There will be times that I will help you accomplish something, and you’ll know I am helping. There will also be times when I will make you do it all on your own, and while it may not feel like it in that moment, I am still helping you. I am helping you to become independent, and showing you that you CAN do it.

Because you can.

You can do anything you truly put your heart in to.

It’s my job to make sure that we’ve put your heart in to the right place.

I love you.

Mommy

We found a dog…

2011-08-27T09:06:00.001-04:00

Remember when I posted frantically about Effie being missing, and how excited I was when she came home?

I’m hoping to bring that same joy to someone else.

Yesterday, I found this girl standing in a road near our house.

She’s young, probably part of a spring litter, and very sweet.

She’s also really mad that she can’t come in to play with my girls.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any idea what the vaccination status of the stray is. Or if she’s housebroke. So for now, she has to stay outside.

I’m going to take her over by the shelter when they open this afternoon to have her scanned for a microchip, so hopefully we will find her mommy and/or daddy then, but in the meantime, if you’re here in the Bloomington area, will you share this post for me? If you know this pretty little girl, shoot me an email at AllABunchOfMomsense (at) gmail (dot) com with how to reach you, and let’s see if we can get her home.

Thanks so much!

***Update : I took her to the shelter. She did not have a chip, which did not surprise me. I don’t want to over-assume in this situation, but when I found her, there was a pile of dog food in the road by where she was standing. I can only assume she was dumped there. It brought me to tears to do it, but I left her with the shelter staff. She will be held there as a stray, looking for her family, for 5 days. If after that time she has not been claimed, she will be spayed and microchipped and placed for adoption. While there is lots of room in my heart for animals, I have to be realistic with how much room I have in my home, and sadly, she was not a good fit for us.

If you or someone you know is looking for a pet, please consider adopting from your local shelter. Perhaps this girl is right for you, or another sweet face looking for their forever family. Our Effie is a shelter girl, and she is perfect for us – your perfect pet may be waiting for you, too! Thank you for the retweets and facebook shares. If you recognize her, contact 812.349.3492.***