On this day I wrote about my path which made me realize that in a very important way I’ve assumed the most important part of what makes a long-term relationship work – fully committed to following my own path. If you have no way to handle your undermining thoughts and feelings, you will be bringing them all into your relationship with inappropriate behavior and words. Which brings me to this past weekend…

On a Friday during the night I developed my very first bladder infection. It is highly uncomfortable. What I’ve learned to do is to deal with it on the spiritual/emotional level and the physical level so I searched on the internet and found out that lots of water and lots of vitamin C would get rid of it and I also looked in a very important little book called Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. It says that bladder problems are about “Anxiety. Holding onto old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being ‘pissed off’.” It also says the positive affirmation to use is “I comfortably and easily let go the old and welcome the new in my life. I am safe.”

At the time I wrote about here there was much new in my life: someone else living with me and the Martian, being 65, having an old client quit, dealing with foods that don’t work for me constantly around and often calling to me because someone else was living here, etc. So I was consciously repeating that affirmation and watching my thoughts about all of these new things. And by the way, the infection was gone in 24 hours! I am blessed.

Then there was the day before I wrote this. My step-daughter seemed to be having some feelings that she didn’t express. It may be my imagination but I believe I have always been quite susceptible to picking up others feelings and I have had a fairly easy time of it recently because I’ve been alone a lot and my husband is pretty good at expressing and taking responsibility for his. Well, we now had a new person who is emotionally built differently than I and whose process is different. I can’t ask or expect her to do it my way. I invited her here knowing full well that there would be personal challenges for me. When I have these unidentified feelings which seem to build up into a kind of pressure that wants to be alleviated by eating (or overeating), I often eat and now there are things like brownies and lasagna in the house – all of which don’t work for this carbohydrate sensitive person that I am. New challenge!

It was apparently time for me to finally work all of these things out but if I didn’t do them myself I would soon be a self-critical bitch who took her bad feelings out on her partner. Whew! But I didn’t do that.

I am fully committed to my own path – the 11th Secret.

March 13, 2010 | personal growth, relationships & relationship tips | One comment

Are you content with your life? Some people are never content. They don’t believe they’re successful unless they have major successes in their lives like a large house, large salary and a high profile job to go with it. The sad thing is, life just isn’t about the big things. It’s about the little things.

Expressing gratitude means thanking the Universe on a daily basis for the abundance and good things you already have in your life. And, most important, express gratitude to others – even for the smallest favors or assistance or even a smile. Throughout the day, when someone assists you, gives a suggestion or inquires about your well-being, remember to say, “Thank you for asking,” or “Thank you for caring.” Remember to say thank you to anyone who does something for you – holding a door, letting you into traffic, etc. When something comes to fruition or traffic moves in harmony with your schedule, silently thank the Universe for its assistance.

It sounds simple and maybe too easy. But just try it for a few days and see how you feel and notice the little things that happen in your life. See how good expressing gratitude makes you feel.

March 13, 2010 | life tools | One comment

In the darker ages of personal growth – the ’80’s, before the Internet and cell phones, I seemingly stumbled upon journaling and the terms inner peace and inner child over the span of 2 or 3 years. In my spiritual program, the 12-Steps, the buzz around the program was to keep a journal. In it I could write my feelings and my gratitude lists and my complaints. Just get it out of my obsessive head. I have a couple of those journals and I see that they represent the history of my growth as a human being.

In them are hopes, dreams, Love Letters, pleading letters to God, gratitude. In those pages you will find my self growth from the first days of my 180 degree turn around through various momentous life experiences and learning.

Back then, as I hung around the program and started to absorb all that I was hearing at a deeper level, I came to believe that it was possible for me to have inner peace. It

My journal from 1980

still sounded like some sort of fairy tale but I did notice how many people talked about it. I personally had never experienced anything like it. I certainly could relate to having experienced lots of pain but my basically optimistic nature latched on to anything I heard that sounded faintly hopeful that I could feel better then I had felt in most of the previous 33 years. Inner peace had that optimistic ring to it.

Then a couple of years later I stumbled again – right into a program that taught me about my inner child. I have no idea where I thought each age I had gone through went but it seemed a bit of a revelation to learn that that inner child was me!

It’s many years later now, I’ve experienced much healing, lots of journaling, much processing of feelings, coaching of me and by me, and growing. I now realize that the tools offered right here on this site, a Journaling-for-You Community with self-guided assignments and amazing support is the 2010 version of where to go, who to talk to and what to do when your inner child is screaming and you want inner peace.

March 12, 2010 | inner child, inner peace, journaling | No comment

To embrace gratitude you must release any need to forgive or be forgiven. Many people hold onto resentment and anger and refuse to change until the person(s) who harmed them seek their forgiveness. This attitude keeps them locked in fear and causes them to deny their own truth, their own soul, and Source.

If we look at the big picture, we are all aspects of Source exploring this Universe. Whatever we experience with others is what we have chosen – at least on a soul level. The people that cause us the most heartache have the greatest love for us on a soul level because we have a powerful bond of love with them and can go through our great human dramas with them.

Fear is the opposite of love, so we cannot experience fear when we come from a place of love and awareness. In order to fully appreciate that Earth is a realm of duality, we choose to have experiences with others and to co-create together. In order for us to take control, we have to accept that we are experiencing what seems so negative to us. We come to realize we don’t need to seek forgiveness but to embrace gratitude about what we have experienced-so that we can understand more about creating with the energies of love not of fear.

When you allow yourself to embrace gratitude towards those you have co-created your experiences with, you will open to the truth of who you are. When you finally understand that whole paradigm from a place of gratitude, your creations will no longer control you, the creator. It is only then that you will be free to be who you really are – an powerful, unlimited aspect of Source.

March 12, 2010 | life tools | No comment

Becoming A Life Coach

Thinking about a career change? Once reserved for sports, coaching has spread into all areas of our lives.  Becoming a life coach is easier then it sounds since coaches come from all sorts of backgrounds. Some come from the corporate world. Some, like myself, have many years in the human potential movement.

Consulting, counseling, a strong personal growth background, business training, sports and entrepreneurship are just some of the areas that can provide some of the experience you will need in becoming a life coach.

If you are thinking of becoming a life coach or personal coach, ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you an authentic person, living your values and experiencing success?
• Are you a good communicator?
• Do you sincerely wish the best for everyone?
• Are you great at making life work for you?
• Would you like to design your own workday?
• Are you willing to market yourself?

The best way to begin figure out if life coaching as a career is for you is to hire a life coach yourself and find out from the “inside out” what it’s all about.

March 11, 2010 | so you want to be a life coach | 2 comments

I have been life coaching for about 12 years. I feel good about the impact I currently have and have had on my clients. We have a collaborative, co-creative relationship whereby they tell me what they want to accomplish and I offer tools, suggestions, my experience and my abilities to both “hear between the words” and help them get out of their own way. (NOTE THE WORD “COLLABORATIVE”.)

As coaches know or soon find out, we must market ourselves. Many years ago I went to some traditional networking meetings where what happened was – a zillion people passed me their card and tried to promote me into whatever they were selling. I hated it and stayed away from anything like that for years figuring it just isn’t for me. No collaboration apparent here.

Collaborative Progression

Some years later I found and tried an organization that was somewhat more collaborative in its structure. It suggested and tried to support having a “how can I help you?” attitude in its members. I tried it for a year. It was very expensive what with dues and paying for fairly upscale meals each meeting. I met many lovely people but never got a client. When it came time to pay membership, I decided to not rejoin after having called about 10 other life coaches to ask their experience in the organization. Not one had gotten any clients. They stayed around because the people were nice.

What was wrong? I finally decided that what was necessary for a life coach was for people to really get to know them. Those meetings I attended had 50-80 people at each and even though I followed another suggestion to meet at least two members each week for coffee, that little amount of time just doesn’t create a strong enough bond.

A few years went by and they created exclusive groups where there is only one life coach who is a permanent member and 15 to 20 people. I joined. My year isn’t up for awhile but so far no new clients. Again lovely people who I really bond and connect to who are trying to help me get clients but I think they look around at those they know, think “He or she needs a coach. I’ll tell them about Maia” but still no clients from that source. I think people want to seek out a coach. They don’t want to be told you NEED a coach but the jury’s still out on that.

So back to COLLABORATIVE MARKETING. Well, I think I lost my awareness of what it means because I have been participating in massive connecting on social networking sites which now occurs to me is very much like the stick-the-card-in-the-face kind of networking of old. Where is the real collaboration? This became very clear in a conversation with a lovely coach, Dr. Jackie Black who has helped me see the collaboration light. The watchwords are: request and offer . I have a request to make of you and I offer to help you. Let’s work out what works for both of us and benefits our clients also if we are a good match to do so. Thank you, Jackie.

March 11, 2010 | life tools | One comment

Self esteem may not seem that important to some (they’re probably feeling fine about themselves) but it has a huge impact on your daily life. It has an affect on your moods, your reactions and how people treat you.

Seek learning on how to get past negative emotions like anger, jealousy and blame and not let them overshadow your thinking. (Check out this tool .)

Everyone experiences small episodes of these harmful emotions but if you let them be your whole focus, you will never be happy and everyone you meet will know it.

In addition, these emotions build up and create harmful physical conditions like heart disease and high blood pressure. Make sure you laugh everyday. Watch a comedy show to lift your mood. You can’t possibly feel hopeless or angry if you are laughing.

1. Increase your self esteem by doing nice things for other people. They don’t even need to know you did it. In fact, it might is better if they don’t. It will make you feel very good about yourself though, and that is what is important.
2. Stop criticizing every little mistake you make. Watch the words you say about yourself. No more “stupid” or “dummy”. Everyone makes mistakes.
3. Take all those negative things you are thinking about yourself and turn them into  positive thoughts and your self esteem will be on the rise one little step at a time.
4. Learn to choose how you respond to whatever situation you may find yourself in. You can decide to calmly handle a situation with as little stress and bad feelings as possible or you can freak out yell, scream, cry and make a bad situation worse.
5. And if your emotional residue from the past is so large it doesn’t feel like you have a choice, seek help – self-help, coaching or therapy. Whatever suits you.
6. Another way to make yourself feel better and give your self esteem a little boost is to dress up now and then for no reason. It will make you feel good knowing that you look good. Do not allow yourself any criticisms about how you look, only good thoughts.
7. If you up for a real stretch, ask 3 people what they like about you. Let what they say about you wash over you. Let it in and just say, “Thank you”.

March 10, 2010 | life tools | 2 comments