all about pandaman!

What is thing called love?

2013-05-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

topic yang xda kenak mengenak ngn apa2 pun. just pas dgr lagu ya tek. ya la letak nya jadi title. ai. lelah eh jumpa org gtok. rasa mok berkurung lam umah jak. asal jumpa sedara mara xda soalan len jak tanyak. dont ask me if u knw i'm not ok. just dont. susah na hidup org sakit tok. ya allah. bilalah mok sehat. badan dah kedak rangka. mcm zombie pun ada juak ku tgk dah. hm. tok barunya dugaan. mood swing jak2. emotionally unstable dah tok. i just feel hurt. help me god. nasib ada game k ngubat hati yang lara tok. cis ayat. apa gk mok klaka ow.xda papa juak sebenarnya mok di tulis. mode mls. klah.ya jak kot. mok balit tok. babai.

I'm feeling down...

2013-05-25T08:05:00.000+08:00

Finally i reach a moment where i am entirely feeling fucking down. I feel helpless n i dont 1 2 do anythng. I jst 1 2 stay in my fucking room. Sleeping all day long if i can. I miss my baby so much. But i'm scared to say i miss u. I'm afraid tht thngs turn ugly. I dunno wht to say. Suma mcm xbtl jk. Mmy monster mmg menakutkn i guess. Whts best for me is u. Whts best for u is i dunno. Today is saturday. Hm. Cant wait for monday n pray hard tht everythng will b bck to normal. N monday id day 100. Ayat terhenti ctok jk. Xpt bfungsi otak. Bye.

Hello pulo...

2013-05-24T08:19:00.002+08:00

Morning. Asal gaduh jak mimpi ngeri. Asal gaduh jak mimpi ngeri. Asal mimpi ngeri jak mesti gaduh. Sepnjg malam xpat tdo. Ai. I dont ask u to b perfect. I knw u'r not perfect. But i like u the way u r. If i wnt a perfect person. I wont ask u to b mine at the first place. Bcoz i knw u'r lack of everythng. I still want to b with u. I dont care wht weaknesses that u have. I dont care if we'r hv to fight every week or everyday. U wnt our relationship to b interesting rite. It is interesting. We have lots of up n down. N i'm doing fine with it kot? No seriously i'm perfectly fine. I hurt u. U hurt me. I luv u. U luv me? All of ths if normal. Just let the bad feeling go n let the good feelings grow. Simple as 1 2 3. Dont thnk too much. Dont stress yourself. Dont ask me to find a barbie or anythng. If u cant picture me loving u so much its ok. Bcoz i cant either. To me yg important ialah i can c myself loving u unconditionally. U r so called mine after all. Ok. Gtg.

Don't cry in front of a girl...

2013-05-23T18:17:00.000+08:00

As a human i do have heart. I do can cry. I do have feelings. I know u r not perfect. And so am i. Aku ialah org yg ssh mok nangis but when i cry, i cry. When i cry in front of other people, thats mean i can't handle the feeling anymore. Its beyond my control. When i seek for ur help n cry in front of u, thts mean u'r such an important person in my life. But there's 1 small thing i would ask 4, when i cry or sad, plz don't sow salt on wound. If u dont knw wht to say, just say u sorry for what happened or whtever. Dont laugh bcoz i'm crying. Or dont say sumthng tht can hurt my feeling. I am already in pain. Thts y i call for help. Today incident wasnt suppose to b. im sorry for wht i've said. But im just human. I talk shit when i'm mad. I'm sorry for being too emotional n sensitive. Bcoz this is about human life n death. Lagikkan binatang mati lagik kta sedih. Kadang2 org boleh nangis bila binatang cdak mati. Apakan lagi tok baby, manusia yg terpaksa dibunuh. Walaupun nya blm dilahirkan. Nya udah bernyawa. And i am crazy if im not sad sbb tok tjadi bkn kat org xdikenali. P kat org yg mempunyai hubungn rapat dgn aku. Kta xperlu kenal org ya baruk mok sedih sal kematiannya. Kta kesian kta sedih kdng2 org smpe nangis tgk org mati. Even org ya xknl pun org mati or knk bunuh ya. Since i cant express my feeling to anyone anymore bcoz im afraid tht people would laugh when i cry or make fun of me when i'm sad. So i just can write here i guess. N hope tht everythngs will b ok after ths. So today i learn sumthng new which is dont give up n keep on trying. Dont lose hope. Dont lose faith. But believe tht everythng happen for a reason. To my unborn niece, i already love u since ur first heart beat. U r my niece after all. Of coz i love u. U dont hv to b born to b love by me. My dear cousin which like a sister to me, whatever happen, u knw im owez by ur side to support. I knw this been a very difficult moment for both of u, but this is allah will. Thins happened for a reason remember. Sabar byk2. Rezeki, ajal dan maut sumanya di tangan allah. Let us pray for another rezeki in future. Amin.

Ujian Allah

2013-05-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

Tok ialah salah satu hari yg menyedihkn bt seluruh ahli keluarga. Yes we should cry. Sekuat ne pun kmk org, bla part tok kmk org mmg nangis. Tlh menerima berita yg sgt tdk baik sal baby lam kandungan cousin aku. Baby disahkan bermasalah oleh specialist and the parents di advice utk bt abortion. Aku rs serba salah. Xtauk mok ckp apa. Baby wont survive if dilahirkn. I am sad. Very sad indeed. Yes i knw ada himah di sebalik ujian tok. Time my kazen gugur we all sad. But now situasi berbeza. Sedih tok bt aku nangis mcm kes divorce. Baby ya akan di bunuh. Yarabi. Xsampe hati kali. Aku yg xmenanggung rasa ya lg sedih apatah lagik cdak duak. Ujian bturut2. Org yg xmok ank sng jak dpt. p org yg sunggug2 mok anak sengsara mok dpt. ya allah. Ujian apa yg ko berik tok. Apalah dosa bby ya smpe tpaksa "dibunuh". Tok baruk kata org d luah mati mak d telan mati bpk. Argh. Xtauk mok ckp apa. I just can say to the parents sabar tok adalah ujian dr allah n tiap yg blaku ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Human can't live without brain but we can talk without having 1. Huhu.

Army of two

2013-05-17T00:29:00.004+08:00

This song is dedicated to my girl with message i luv u so much and happy monthsary yg ke ??? haha. Bialah rahsia. Army of two by dum dums.

Look into these eyes of mine and take away my painFall into my arms, tonight, let the world around us fadeThe rain will fall, our hearts will breakBut still I will be here beside you, right beside you

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

When the burdens of the world are on me, an people seem unkindI just need to be beside you, you give me peace of mindAnd when I fail to be everything, I tell you I will beI know in your eyes I'll find, forgiveness for me

The rain will fall, our hearts will breakBut still I will be here beside you, right beside you

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

Oh forgiveness and you give me completeness in everything you doAnd I know when I'm lost in this desperate world, you're my refugeI want to fall down at your feet, whilst beside you in the streetBe proud that you are here with me, in front of everyone

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

Somebody that I wish I never knew.

2013-05-08T18:38:00.001+08:00

Hm. That somebody was really, I dont know how to describe. She's just somebody that I used to knw n how i wish tht i never knew her. Y? Bcoz knowing her n being with her for a few days was really one of the biggest mistake i've ever made. I am not perfect. I am also not a good person. I am once good to u. But dont take advantage of my kindness. Bcoz i can turn 360 degree from kind to bad, from like to hate and etc. I know it is inappropriate to say bad things about other people in the internet. But i just need some place to say whtever I want to say. Plus nobody knows who i'm talking about except for me n maybe my girl. I'm not sure bout that. So back to the story, I know a promise is a promise n we dont make promises that we cant keep. But plz dont push me. N plz lah k, dont ask for sumthng that u'r not worth it. At least tauklah malu sikit kan. I know u'r mad with me when i ask for tht thing. But u should knw that is also ur promise to me. So y cant i ask for it when u keep on asking me about our bet. it's the same thing. tht is how i felt when u push me. i am so damn angry. u said i'm over when i ask like that. but u r more than over when u ask for tht. u r so not worth it. n i will give when i thnk it is appropriate n fair to me. who r u to ask me for somethng that expensive. totally not worth it. the deal is tht thng. but it depends on me which brand n what kind of price range i wnt to give. bersyukurlah mun aku bagi sumthng lak but i wont give u tht specific thng u ask me for. bcoz i just wont. it is far too much for me. u not even my girl or sumthng. first time aku nang akn bg bnda gya, but makin hari aku tengok cara ko mintak ya buat aku sgt reluctant utk bagi apa2 pun. so sgt mistake bla ko mintak lebih dari sepatutnya. blm apa-apa dah mintak lebih. nasib baik xjadi apa-apa. mun x nang habis kali aku knk cukur. well i guess, girl like u memang have that kind of attitude. janji sendiri xmok ditepati. janji org len bkn men tuntut. tauk mrh bla org mntak. p nya mejal kta bkn men xfikir pun apa org rasa. mmg dasar tuttt.... so i will forget about ur promise to me n in return i will keep my promise but i give sumthng tht i thnk would b enuf to end ths mess. n aku rs ya adalah patut mencukupi. if xcukup juak nanglah pompuan eee. ok bye. xbagus kutuk2. p gne mok buat. aku nang perangei buruk juak.

Hari itu dalam sejarah...

2013-05-04T11:09:00.000+08:00

Tok cta lmk as a reminder for myself in future. On april 15 2013, tht day was the frst time i undergo an operation n been admitted to columbia asia hospital miri. First time knk drip. So tiga frst time. Operation apa? Operation encik B. aku knk chronic anal fissure. I currently tgh bt follow up ngn my surgeon. So sementara tgu aku tulislah post tok. During operation ya dctr V trs buang polyp yg dah btapak d sia nth bpa lmk. Size pun dah bsr. 1cm plus. Hm. Nth bla nya jd should b sekitar 2012 bcoz time colonoscopy ya bnda ya xda. So wht should i do to avoid thngs occur blt. Control my diet. N yes aku nang control lalu smpe badan dah kdk rangka nktk. Smbg blt tulis. Baru hbs jmp dctr tek. Knk tkr ubat lg. hm. Skt yg tdk pandai hbs. Ok. Len kali ckp gk. kak pulai dolok. Bye.

i just dont know what to do.

2013-05-02T17:39:00.000+08:00

argh. dah beberapa hari jadi mata anak pusak. tiap malam tido xsah xsakit mata. p malam tadi the best bila duak mata sakit serentak. sib baik bangun pagi x sakit just xpat buka sebab dipenuhi ngn taik mata. adei.apalah nasib sakit xpandei habis gtok. until nktk pandangan aku xjelas n suma benda nampak banyak. k spec lagi skt sbb terang. so jd s. jibeng knk bspec itam sia ctok. gelap jak dunia.p at least ritok mata xrasa guguk bila tunduk. hm. apa mok di buat tok ow. ada byk option. mok gi pengilan tahlil or kuar mkn ngn hana or kuar mkn ngn kin or dok umah tdo? kuar dating xda sbb gf di rpr aku d new york so ssh mok jmpa. jauh gilak. mok kuar p xbgs pulak aku kuar single. lak timbul fitnah. kan xmanis gya. xmok appear single lok. takut knk ngorat.hahahahha. perasan. mak ai. setia gila tok. adakah ini dinamakan cinta? hm. sgt bertanggungjawab dah aku. i am getting old n sexy. kuikuikui. knk mrh gf gk ritok. xsah nya period xmrh. hahahaha. p slh aku juak. xpalah. biarnya cool down lok. eh. xbgs ckp kelaie ngn gf lam tok. kan xmanis mun org baca. p dah tulis gnelah. mok padam x? mok padam x? xda rubber xpatlah padam. sori mi. huhu. bgs cta len, cta apa ow? cta politik xblh. cta sex xblh. cta pmpn xblh. cta cinta xblh. hbs cta apalah yg blh? ai. ssh nya hdp. mok d senangkan pun payah. cta nombor? JUDI ADALAH HARAM DI CC AGAMA ISLAM! hhahahahha. ari apa tok. xda nombor. huhu. tik tok tik tok. msh x decide gk mok bt apa pastok.bgs bt pahala. g tahlil jkla. mudahan org rajin g tahlil aku juak lak sbb aku rajin g tahlil keluarga cdak. eh? x blh mengharap balasan. xbaik tol perangei gya. kta ikhlas tok pegi. klah. mupok dolok. mok balit mndi. bye bye blog. i leave u alone. hahahaha

ps: i luv u mi. if u read this, plz jgn mrh d lmk2 k. i miss u. n tambah rndu udah nktk. makin rndu nya lak. huhu.

Symptoms...

2013-04-28T00:14:00.001+08:00

Shit. Nyumpah jak kja. Skt rs nyawa pas ddk lam keta yg xda oxygen. Until nktk semput. Bodo kja gya. Apa dpt. dpt skt jak. So back to the story. Hdp semakin rumit kesihatan makin mencarut. Bjalan langgar sia ctok. Menulis 22 jd 24. P 24 ttp 24. Mengira 1 jd 2. 2 jadi nth lmk mok fkr. Jalan lurus dah xlurus. G langgar curb tepi jeraya. Tgn patah jak x leka langgar mcm2 dah. Weird bn juak. Suma pandangan macam ke kiri. Otak ngn tangan pulak asyik bercanggah. Otak kata lain. Tangan tulis lain. Mcm ne ya? Google lok petanda apa ya? Jgnla bnda merepek. Cukup2lah dugaan yg siberi tuhan tok. Lak aku knk tgl gf lak sbb mala skt. Huhu. Dahla bdn dah mcm rngka. Huhu. Xtauk mok bebel apa lagi. Aku rndu "sebahagian" drpd nya ya. Xleh rndu nya. Blm 24 jam kak jmpa. Huhu. Dahla mulut masin. Ptt mntanya doa aku mati jak. Br ngam. Xnya ssh gk hdp ngn org gila mcm tok. K dah2. Jgn d bw gilak perasaan utk bsadu ngn blog ya. Esk hari yg pnjg. Knk bgn awl. So gud luck 4 2moro. It wont get any better. Nite world thts full of shit. I may not wake up 2moro. So forgive me blog. If i ever hurt ur feeling. Bcoz im just a normal person tht owez make mistake.

Combo pack!

2013-04-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

Y do i owez get combo pack? Shit man. Y must it be on weekend. Cant i hv any enjoyable weekend with my wife?! Damn u life. Sumthng going on with. I dunno wht. But i just hit a damn curb n pray hard that my car xda scratch n tyre x pecah. Shit bena. Sial mati mampus. Dah la ya. Xcukup lagi. Encik b gk bt hal. Bleeding mcm apa pulang nya mlm tok. Apahal kah? Ptt skt semcm jak. Hm. Sudah jth dtimpa tangga. Terpijak tahi ayam pula. Nang malang. P alhmdulillah duak2 fon slmt tnpa rosak or hlng d curi org. Wht was i thinking. Throwing my fon n leave it just like tht at parking lot. Stupid. Y am i owez stupid. Y must i b the 1 tht ruin everythng. I luv u for god sake. Ya bnda yg xptt jd. Argh!!! Omoz get myself kill. Nang mntk mati juak aku tok. Bgs esk k keta aku jak pegi. Dpt aku drv sepuas hati n selaju yg blh. Mun blh trbang, biar trbng terus keta ya. Tgk tuhan mok makbulkan x doa aku utk mati ya. Hdp pun tidak bguna. Ssh jadi smpah masyarakat mcm aku tok. Bt nyemak dunia jak. Bgs nyemak tanah kubo jak. Mode skrg ialah gila mok bunuh diri tiap masa. Mudahan aku mati eksiden esk. Amin.

The pain in my tuttt...

2013-04-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

Apahal tek title post mcm ya. Xsenonoh lalu jak. Well whtever. Skati aku lah mok letak apa. Yg penting hati suka. Deh. Since operation until today, i think today ialah yg plng trk skt. Cb recall lok apa mknn marek? Hm. Oat, buah, salad n roti jak rs aku. So apa mslhnya. Ok jak ya. Cek air gk? Kurng air kosong n ada minum jus oren n air chocolate chip starbuck. So kemungkinan besar d sebabkan air. I guess i need to rearrange my diet. Ssh lah mcm tok. Makan takut. Berak pun takut. Badan dah tinggal rangka. Huhu. K dah. Mls mok tulis. Mok men game jak. Bye

Sesi membebel bersama encik blog.

2013-04-24T00:16:00.002+08:00

Argh! Boring. Pahal boring gilak tok. Miss my baby so much. Dah jmpa pun msh rndu. Pelik tapi bena. I miss u mi. Miss u all the time. Hm. Aritok dah menambah investment gold. Walaupun bpk bising mls mok peduli. Oleh kerana tgh kering xpt mok bli byk. P xpa. Ckit2 lm2 jd bukit. Long term investment. Dr guna duit bli bnda2 xbfaedah. Bait utk melabur k masa dpn. This year byk membazir. Sbb byk glk vacation. So ssh mok buang duit k bli wish list. Huhu. Byk nya wish list aku. Kaco eh vacation. Mok ipad mini. Mok s4. Mok ps vita. Bli2 lak k kumpul debu lam bilit mcm psp ngn ipad 2. Rugi jak. Blh x jgn membazir wahai manusia. Bljr berjimat cermat. Bli bnda perlu jak. Bkn bli utk sekadar ada. Hm. Ssh eh nafsu. Wish list len blh juak d capai dgn mudah. P tiga tok bt aku bfikir lok. One by one but i will get u. Soon. Insyallah. Kali knk bt duak kja br mampu mok membeli belah gya. Hahaha. Aii. Cnta hati mok tdo dah. Aku pun mok tdo juak dah. So slamat malam blog.

"Kalau bukan kita, siapa lagi? Kalau bukan sekarang, bila lagi?" Tetiba teringat bnda tok. K nite.

"Enough"

2013-04-21T19:16:00.001+08:00

Enough is enough. But wht do we mean by enough? Wht is enough exactly? Wht is consider as enough? Not good enough? More thn enough? Wht is tht shit actually? How do i knw its enough? How do i know its not enough? In relationship, i dunno if love is enough anymore. Even if we love each other we still need time to knw each other. I'm confused. Does love matter anymore? I tot i luv u n u luv me is quite enough already. Or is it not. "I love u, u love me, we r quite happy already with a great big hug n a kiss from me to rpr. Wont u say u love me 2?" Lagu barney. Deh. Terpesong udah. I knw we had so many bad days while we're together. But does it mean tht if we'r fght here n there it's over??? Come on mi. It's time to grow up already. The both of us make mistake. The both of us should try to grow up. Some days we loved each other. But other days we had to work for it. I'm sorry that our honeymoon period sucks. But tht is wht we have to deal with. Face it. N get through it. I dont 1 2 stop loving u. I wnt to love u each n evryday of my life. Tq n i never have enough of u.

Ya allah, bawa aku pergi...

2013-04-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

In this life, at some point u just want to give up. Give up on living n facing each more day. And at this point i really am giving up on everythng. Y cant it b simple. Kata2 ya satu doa. Y must u say tht. Mok glkkah anak ko sendiri skt gya. Ingat suma tok permintaan akukah? Of coz aku mala skt. Ko xtgkkah betapa bsr ketumbuhan ya? Ur job is to pray to god tht i will b fine. Bkn g pdh aku xleh d harap utk bkja sbb mala skt. Ingt aku sukakah skt gtok. Last month accident ya aku mintakkah? Accident happen. This month operation. For wht? Utk jd sihat. Next month ko mok aku skt lg? Ingat aku robot sihat 24 jam? Bnda ya xjd lg knk mok fkr? Maybe next month aku skt tenat. Xpun mati kali. Habis cta. Damn myself. Hidup x bguna. Tauk sakit ajak. Tauk ditimpa kecelakaan ajak. P jgn kerana tahap kesihatan aku xmemuaskan ko sekat ya suma. Ya xkn mengubah apa2. Urusan dunia xkn habis. Untuk sementara ajak. Ya allah eh. U think 2 much. I hate u n i will b like u n worst thn u sumday. I hate this fact! Fuck my life!!! I hate myself!

This post is dedicated for the love of my life.

2013-04-20T17:35:00.001+08:00

They say that a person that trully loves u wont let u go no matter what the situation is. Thts mean tht i luv u but i dnt love u enuf n being stupid all the time. I dnt 1 to let u go. Im just merajuk xtentu pasal hope u'll come back but we both knw tht wont happen. Hm. I 1 2 clarify with u tht both of us is immatured. In fact i am more immatured thn u. Sebab ya i act this way. N u were so ego n thnk 2 much menambah keruh keadaan kta. Dont u miss me syg? Xsygkah apa yg kta prnh ada? I luv u n u annoyed me almost all the time but i want to spend every irritating minute with u. Just u. Bcoz u filled my life with laughter, fun n so much excitement. I luv u 4 wht u r n 4 wht i am whn im with u. I luv u 4 all tht u hv been n 4 wht u'll yet 2 b. its not about wht u do tht make me fall 4 u. But its about u urself. U'r everythng tht i think about. U'r everythng tht i 1. U r my everythng n i'm owez scared bcoz u mean so much 2 me thn any other person in my life. I get jealous bcoz i luv u so much. I act stupid bcoz tht is how i am whn i trully luv sum1. U r every reason, every hope n every dream i've ever had. U'r my dream comes true. N everyday im with u is the greatest day of my life. I really love u. Even u'r moody omoz all the time, even u'r hard to handle i still 1 u in my life. I wnt to share my everythng with u. I 1 u 2 knw me n my feeling. It doesn't matter wht a mess i can b but wht matter is i luv u n i only c u n have u. I knw its tough being together. But can we try to hold on? Im getting used 2 it. Im doing fine. N so were u. Plz forget all the reason y US wont work n believe the only reason y it will. Its not about me or u anymore. Its abous US. Remember? Even if we have a thousand reason to give up, try to at least find 1 reason 2 hold on. Relationship is complicated. We fight we cry we annoyed each other but we dont 1 2 keep tht in our moments together. What we will is the moments tht make we laugh, the fun tht we had together, n the great moments tht we will share in the future. I cant promise u tht i'll b your prince charming, nor i cnt promise u a perfect relationship. But wht i can promise u is my unconditional love n if u'r trying, i'm staying. I knw we've tried. We've tried so hard n its never been enuf. But i 1 u 2 knw tht wht we've tried n wht we have is more thn enuf. Its just us being a normal person n thinking tht we'r not enuf 4 each other. Sedangkan kta perfect 4 each other. Just tht we cnt c it. I lied 2 u whn i said i had enuf. I dont n i never will had enuf with u. I dont 1 to find the 1 4 me. Or the right person 4 me. Bcoz all i 1 is u n relationship is not about findng the rght person, its about creating a right relationship! N if loving u is wrong. Thn i definitely DONT 1 2 b right. I hope u can forgive me for my stupid mistake. I dont 1 to ruin this. We still have chance. I need u n i am so terribly sorry. I cant stop loving u. N i luv u more everytime i open my eyes. N tok dah brapa ratus kali kelip mata. So i guess i love u byk2 more thn 10000x dah today. I miss u so much. N i hope u miss me 2. Im yours n forever will. So for time being, i just sit down here n pray to god tht u will b mine forever n wait for ur call. Lastly, i luv u mi. Always.

Girls...

2013-04-08T21:37:00.000+08:00

Girls is so confusing. They waiting n searching for the rite guy to come. Mr. Nice guy is in top wish list. But when they get 1, they will say they dont deserve the guy. Seriously? Dont deserve? Is that not what u'r looking for? Hello? Hm. Girls dont knw wht they really want. They like to think 2 much. So how bout bad boys? Yes they like bad boys. But still they dont want 1. Bco they know they will get hurt in the end. So which 1 do u really want girls? Ordinary guy? Also not good enough for u. I tell u what. Why dont u just learn to accept the guy n enjoy your moment with him. Besides u should cherish n dont let go when u get the suitable 1. Dont overthink. Or else u will regret it for the rest of your life. Cherish n have fun. Love like there is no tomorrow. Appreciate wht u have n wht u still have. Dont wait until its too late. Bcoz we dont knw when it will go. The end is near. But we should make it far by moving slow. Walk fast n u'll miss everythng n reach the end without u realize it. There's no turning back. Just regret. So my advice is walk slow n enjoy your moment. So tht when u reach the end u wont look back in anger. I knw there's no happily ever after. But this is life. N relationship? There's owez ups n downs. But remember the good 1. Forget the bad things n learn from mistake. That will make u happy n look forward for next day. Thats wht u will keep in ur memory. To make u smile. To make u happy. When i think i wnt to give up on my girl, i will try to remember the reason y i'm with her at the first place. Y i like her. What make me fall for her. Then, its like i have new hope n make me love her even more. Make me want her more. Make me a better person. N a better lover. I think its enough for tonight. So long oredi. I need to sleep. Nite blog.

I miss u so much L.

2013-04-05T15:09:00.003+08:00

Huh! Apalah nasib. Beberapa bulan tok asyik di timpak mcm2 masalah n kecelakaan jak. Malang bena. Apakah ujian mok ditunjuk tuhan tok. Hm. Haritok hari yg membosankan. Terlepas appointment ngn surgeon. Flu. Mata tajam. Knk tgl gf. Nang pack combo. Apalah badi yg ngikut aku tok. Smpe malang xhabis2. Pas satu satu gik dtg. Xhabis gk cgek dah dtg masalah baru. Xpalah. Aku pasrah dan redha dgn suma yg terjadi. Aku dah penat. Biarlah takdir yg menentukan segalanya. Now tgh bw keta cuci untuk di sewakan esok hari. Sementara menunggu q yg pnjng aku dgr wechat cinta aku blt. Argh. Rndu nya. Rndu glk2. Knklah ego sentiasa menang. I miss u so much mi. I've done my part. Ya allah, bukalah hatinya utk menerima aku dan segala kekurangan aku. Cuma nya yg aku mok. Cuma nya yg aku inginkan. Cant stop thinking of her. How can i not love her. She's mine. I just 1 to spend my life with her. Spending every second of my life by her side. Damn i luv her so much. No other guy can luv her the way i luv her. I dont wanna lose u. I cnt u lose. Shit me. Shit myself.

Geng pompuan murahan!

2013-04-02T07:51:00.000+08:00

Eh? Ya bena title post. Well nasiblah. Dah mmg kenyataan ya ialah geng pompuan murahan. Ya gya. Dala muka xtauk malu. Ai. Bt skt ati jak tgk muka cdak. Benci tahap gaban. Now i know which 1 is musuh lam selimut n talam dua muka n mcm2 lg. muka innocent ya lah plng teruk. Org yg kta rs bgs yala xbgs. Once u enter group pompuan murahan aku secara automatik nya akan hlng hormat ngn ko n akn treat ko mcm taik. Bcoz u deserve to b treated like tht. Biarlah aku kejam or apa2. Apa aku peduli. Aku yg byr ko. Bkn ko byr aku. Dont trust anyone terutama yg nmpk innocent. Sbb ya adalah plng jahanam. Dont b 2 close dgn lepeh. Sbb lepeh plg xtauk malu n penuh perasaan dengki. Hm. Xpat ngerepak lmk2. Bla cta sal tok trs rs mok berak. Maklumlah cdak ya tlalu hina d mata aku. K bye

I miss u like crazy.

2013-03-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

I dont knw wht i did wrong until i get this kind of punishment. At least let me knw y suddenly u'r so cold with me. I cnt sleep like this. How can i rest. Packing pun belom lagi. I dont feel like going. I'm dying. This is a terrible month for me. Kenaklah gtok gilak kehidupan. I miss u so much syg. I miss u i miss u n i miss u. Xtauk mok type apa. Otak dah berhenti berfungsi. Bye blog. Cukuplah untuk kali ini.

Have i not love u enough for today?

2013-03-21T16:54:00.001+08:00

Its been 2 days oredi. Berkampung di atas sofa. Cant do anythng? Cant go anywhere. I miss my baby so much. Even the relationship seems quite unstable for these past few days. I still love u. No matter what remember. N i love u more every day. But y r u so cold with me? Moody for most of the time. Did i do sumthng wrong? Have i not love u enough for today bby? Have i not love u more than yesterday bby? I miss u so damn much. Do u even knw tht? Isit just my feeling or it is really sumthing else? Tell me bby. At least let me knw whts wrong with u? With us? Hm. I guess thts all for today. Huhu. Bye blog.

Lucky i'm still alive.

2013-03-19T22:09:00.001+08:00

Today, 19.03.2013 around 6++ pm, aku terlibat lam kemalangan jalan raya. Wah! Ayat! Haha. Accident time aku men basikal. Accident yg agak teruk sib bait aku xcedera teruk sebab aku bernasib bait x dilanggar kreta belakang n kreta jalan sblh. Apahal bla kta berhati2 p tetap juak accident sbb org bodoh len xhati. Sib bait palak xda apa2. Dahla x k helmet. Mun x kan naya. So first thing first. Dont panic bla tauk mok knk langgar. But prepare utk mengurangkan keterukan accident ya. First time masuk emergency. Bahagian lain cuma cedera ringan p kat area lutut jak kembang teruk smpe xpat jln. Huhu. Xpatla bsukan bt seketika. Panjng MC. P alhamdulillah selamat. Ya nang rami org ngerumun. Mmg org malaysia. Xpat tgk accident ckit. The funny thing ialah bla org gila yg lnggr aku ialah my ex bos n nya xperasan nya langgar aku until nya tgk side mirror ada org ngn basikal tbaring kat tgh jalan. Adoi2. Mentang2 k dmax. Langgar n seret basikal pun smpe x sedarkah? Huhu. Encik boss, len kali kuar simpang tgk kiri kanan.jangan men rudu jak. Dala drv laju nk mati. Sib bak aku cedera ringan jak. Mun trk tek kan pnjang cta kta. Ai. Skt nya bdn.sib bait dah inject pain killer. Xla rs skt glk mcm td. Bahaya eh cycling. Mcm nait moto juak bahaya nya. Apa2pun. Aku xmok bergesel ngn tayar n badan dmax lg. Skt nk mati. K cau. Mok rest in peace for few days. Bubye blog.

Cinta harus memiliki...

2013-03-15T15:14:00.001+08:00

I would like to dedicate this song to sum1 special. Wish u all the best in everything that u do. N i want u to know that i will always be here for u. Cinta harus memiliki by Anuar Zain.

I am so F up...

2013-03-14T01:48:00.002+08:00

F word all the way. Stop crying. Shit myself. Curse me. Huhu. Hate myself. So damn frust. Y oh y? Y is this happening. Not good. Not fair. Not at all. Y libra y? Is this wht u wnt? R u happy now? Arghh!!!! Wht is ths feeling. Yes i feel terrible. I am so down. Down bcoz i'm stupid. Down bcoz of everythng.can sum1 plz, plz hit me in the face. Shoot me so tht i cnt feel anything. This feeling is so fucking bad. Huhuhu. Dunno wht 2 say. I just 1 to run away. :'(

Where do u go???

2013-02-07T00:06:00.001+08:00

Just got time to update my blog. Been really bz since last friday. Spending my weekend with my family from shah alam n brunei. Had fun n eat lots. So back to the title. Where do u go libra? Where the hell r u? Y cnt i sense your presence. Y is it when i nearby your office your vehicle just not there. Hm. I'm started to worry. But nevermind. I am happy for today. Recieved good news from my cousin. Hahahaha. Soon. 8 more month to go. Hm. Cant wait. This saturday will go to bintulu for a night. Then monday off to brunei. Yes. Out from miri for a while. No need to c u. Damn. Y is this happening. Not happy at all. Argh! Shoot shoot shoot. Well gtg. It's late already. Bye.