All about relationship and Love Stories

pubg mobile

2019-04-08T21:57:00.001-07:00

What is PUBG Mobile?

i started pubg mobile before 8 months and still playing ,it's a great game .for biginners it's like a hangover because this game attracts people very fastly . it's features and updates are awesome.in every few moths this game gives a update by adding more features. this is a huge game approx 1.82 GB. childrens are addicting to this game the point of concern is that ,so let's get started with full details of pubg mobile:-

The world online has exploded into battle royale madness, with the launch of a couple of huge games. One is Fortnite and the other is PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, or PUBG to its friends.

We've talked about Fortnite separately: that game is similar to PUBG, but Epic - the game's developer - describes it as a cross between Minecraft and Left 4 Dead, as there's a building element to it, which doesn't come into PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds.

The important thing about these huge titles is that they are now both mobile games - hence PUBG Mobile - as well as being available across other platforms.

PUBG Mobile: The essential details

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Mobile game is published by Tencent Games and is available for Android and iOS (i.e., iPhone).

The game is currently undergoing a phased roll-out, from 19 March 2018, but it is a global roll-out and it's available in the UK and other territories on Android. The iOS version is also available.

You can find the Android version on Google Play and the iOS version on the Apple App Store.

PUBG Mobile minimum requirements

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Mobile game is a persistent online game, so you'll need a connection to the internet to play - be that via mobile network or Wi-Fi - but the lower the ping the better.

The tech specs for Android are Android 5.1 and higher and at least 2GB of RAM. We've played on a Samsung Galaxy Note 8 and experienced no problems.

The iPhone version needs iOS 9.0 or later, so a full range of iPhone models back to iPhone 5s are supported and iPads back to iPad Mini 2, as well as iPod touch 6-gen.

The game is PEGI 16 rated in the UK; Fortnite is PEGI 12 in the UK.

PUBG Mobile: The basics of gameplay

Battle royale basically means all against all, a bit like The Hunger Games where you start with nothing and have to scavenge and collect weapons and equipment. The game is ultimately a battle to the last player standing, with 100 players on an 8 x 8 km island.

There are three modes of play: solo, duo and squad, with the latter letting you team up with three other players for a team of four. Each is a little different with various pros and cons, the big pro of team play being that have people to support you, revive you and bring an element of co-operative tactics to the game.

The game starts with you parachuting onto the game island. On landing your mission is to gather everything you can to help you win, from clothes to medical supplies to weapons, with a wide range of weapons and modifications for those weapons.

The island is a mixture of urban and rural environments, detailed in the map in the top right-hand corner of the game, and the full area is initially playable, but the play areas decreases in size as time progresses.

This forces the players closer together with ever decreasing circles, those left outside the safe play space will start to take damage and eventually die. The game reaches its climax when the last few players are condensed down into a small space and one player or team emerges as the victor.

Each game can last up to about 30 minutes if you're one of the last standing. Of course, you can die almost as soon as you're on the ground. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

PUBG Mobile controls and experience

The Mobile game provides the same gameplay elements as the PC and Xbox game, but uses on-screen controls. These can be customised for a number of different layouts and elements to suit the size of your device or preferences.

You can also change the controls for driving vehicles in the game, of which there are a number of options.

The gameplay is surprisingly good and smooth, although there's an advantage for those with bigger displays and more powerful phones. There are three graphics settings you can use and the game will automatically select one. It's advisable to close down everything else, turn up the brightness and volume for the best experience.

How much does PUBG Mobile cost?

The game itself is free to download and free to play. There is a rewards system within the game that will let you earn coins for your participation and completing various challenges - like login every day, travel a particular distance or survive a particular length of time.

These coins can then be used to buy items in the game - like clothing. Otherwise you have to collect the clothing in the game and you start in your underwear.

PUBG Mobile servers and problems

We've experienced some occasional game freezes which we think are server side. As this is a phased roll-out, there's probably still some server optimisation going on. We've arrived in the Lobby to find it empty of players, needing to back out and start a new game to get it to play.

We've also had freezes where the game is unresponsive. Often it's just a pause that lasts about 3 seconds. There is a ping monitor on the display and sometimes you'll see a pause in the game followed by the ping rising sharply, which could be down to the home Wi-Fi network demands. Typically the game runs smoothly with a reported 32ms average ping on our network.

Excessive battery drain is to be expected. Not only is this a demanding game graphically, but it needs the display on all the time and that persistent connection. If you can't play plugged in, then consider getting yourself an external battery pack.

Then there are the times that your teammates just run over you in a car and instead of getting out to revive you, they just run over you again and again until you are dead. Sadly, we don't think anything can ever be done about people like that.

according to me you need a power bank and a charger whenever you start pubg mobile because it takes more power and internet as compare to other games because it's loaded with lots of features.

For more details and updates E-mail us:

Different typesof dating abuse

2019-04-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

What Are the Different Types of Dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors one person uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. Many people assume abuse means that physical violence is happening, but that’s not always the case! Abuse comes in many forms—it’s not just physical. Explore the tabs below to learn a few of the common types of abuse so you can better identify them. Experiencing even one or two of these warning signs in a relationship is a red flag that abuse may be present. Remember, each type of abuse is serious and no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy. Examples of physical abuse include:

Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
Pulling your hair.
Pushing or pulling you.
Grabbing your clothing.
Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.
Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.

Escaping Physical Abuse

Start by learning that you are not alone. More than one in 10 high school students have already experienced some form of physical aggression from a dating partner, and many of these teens did not know what to do when it happened. If you are in a similar situation:

Realize this behavior is wrong.
Talk to an adult, friend or family member that you trust.
Create a safety plan.
Consider getting a restraining order.
Do not accept or make excuses for your partner’s abusive behavior.
Remember that physical abuse is never your fault.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.

There are many behaviors that qualify as emotional or verbal abuse, including:

Calling you names and putting you down.
Yelling and screaming at you.
Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
Telling you what to do and wear.
Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
Accusing you of cheating and often being jealous of your outside relationships.
Stalking you.
Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
Using gaslighting techniques to confuse or manipulate you.
Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status.
Starting rumors about you.
Threatening to have your children taken away.

SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse refers to any action that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually they don’t want to do. It can also refer to behavior that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including oral sex, rape or restricting access to birth control and condoms.

It is important to know that just because the victim “didn’t say no,” doesn’t mean that they meant “yes.” When someone does not resist an unwanted sexual advance, it doesn’t mean that they consented. Sometimes physically resisting can put a victim at a bigger risk for further physical or sexual abuse.

Some think that if the victim didn’t resist, that it doesn’t count as abuse. That’s not true. This myth is hurtful because it makes it more difficult for the victim to speak out and more likely that they will blame themselves. Whether they were intoxicated or felt pressured, intimidated or obligated to act a certain way, sexual assault/abuse is never the victim’s fault.

Some examples of sexual assault and abuse include:

Unwanted kissing or touching.
Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
Rape or attempted rape.
Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control.
Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes” or “no.”
Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
Using sexual insults toward someone.

Keep in Mind

Everyone has the right to decide what they do or don’t want to do sexually. Not all sexual assaults are violent “attacks.”
Most victims of sexual assault know the assailant.
People of all genders can be victims of sexual abuse.
People of all genders can be perpetrators of sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse can occur in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.
Sexual abuse can occur between two people who have been sexual with each other before, including people who are married or dating.
Sexual activity in a relationship should be fun! Get our tips for navigating sex and healthy relationships.

Trust building tricks

2019-04-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

Trust Exercises

Trust is an important part of the foundation of every healthy relationship. Since healthy relationships are a two-person job, it’s important that both partners are consistent—partners must keep their word and promises in order to improve trust. Trust exercises can be a fun way to build trust, practice honesty and communication, and bond with your partner.

Please note: These exercises are intended to provide fun and safe prompts for healthy partners to deepen their communication with one another. If, when trying out these prompts, you notice your partner is using any of the information you share to shame you, or responds to you in ways that are disrespectful, aggressive or emotionally unsafe, we encourage you to reach back out to love is respect. In a healthy relationship, communication is safe 100% of the time. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, please talk to a love is respect advocate before trying out any of these exercises.

When you have the urge to check in, give your partner space and privacy instead.

Give your partner opportunities to be trusted.

Have your partner tell you when they are going out, and do not write/call/check in.

Work up to your partner being able to go out without telling you where they’re going or who they’re with.

Take turns exchanging secrets and facts about each other. Remember, you should never feel pressured or forced to share any information you’re uncomfortable with, or force your partner to do the same.

Stare into each other’s eyes for at least 30 seconds, and try to get to 3 minutes.

Talk to your partner about each other’s physical boundaries, then cuddle and touch each other uninterrupted for 20 minutes, respecting the boundaries you have just set. Afterwards, talk about how it felt and address any issues or concerns.

Talk for 5 minutes about anything while the other partner stays quiet (but you can use gestures and expressions!). After your time is up, discuss, then switch.

Blindfold your partner and guide them through an obstacle course.

Play games with your partner online or in person.

Look up couple challenges online/on YouTube to try out.

Play 2 Truths and A Lie: You come up with 2 truths and 1 lie, your partner guesses which is which, and you tell them the full truth. Again, partners never have to share anything they aren’t comfortable sharing.

Ask questions to learn about your partner.

Tell each other why you love each other.

Recall happy moments you had together.

Share personal songs with your partner or make them a playlist. These can be songs about your feelings for your partner, about you that resonate with your life story or identity, or anything else you want to include.

Swap books with your partner.

Face each other, put your foreheads together, and breathe together 20+ times.

Try couples worksheets about your partner’s qualities, shared qualities, conflict resolution, and growth.

Practice filling in the blanks/completing each other’s sentences.
Have a weekly 30-minute meeting to cover appreciation, chores, plans for good times, and problems/challenges.

Boundaries and Expectations

2019-04-06T11:58:00.002-07:00

Boundaries and Expectations

uploaded on 07/04/2019 april

Expectations

Our entire life experience is shaped by certain expectations. We make assumptions about how a situation should go, how people should act, even adjust our behavior to fall in line with what we think others expect of us. In relationships, sometimes our partners exceed our expectations, and we can be happily surprised. Someone whose previous partner was abusive may expect to be treated that way in their next relationship, only to find a new partner who is completely respectful and supportive. Other times, our expectations aren’t met, and that’s where we tend to get hurt. For example, maybe you expected that being in a relationship meant spending time with your partner every day, but your partner has a busy schedule, and you’re left feeling neglected.

The problem is that expectations are usually based on assumptions, and anytime we assume we know what our partner is thinking (or assume they know what we’re thinking), we get into dangerous territory. A lot of the time, having an unmet expectation doesn’t mean you were wrong, it just means that it’s time to check in with your partner. Some expectations though, like wanting your partner to put you before everything else in their life, can be unrealistic and may need to be adjusted. It’s also important to remember that it’s never okay to engage in hurtful or abusive behavior when your expectations aren’t met.

If you’re in a healthy relationship, we always recommend open, honest communication to find a solution to a conflict– and that includes conflict about relationship expectations. When we don’t communicate our expectations, we’re setting a standard for the relationship that hasn’t been agreed upon, and possibly even holding someone to a standard they didn’t know existed, which isn’t fair. We may not even realize we were expecting specific things out of a relationship until we don’t get them, and it can feel surprising, confusing, and even painful to realize you’re on a completely different page than your partner. That’s why it’s so important to talk through these situations together, to ensure that you both agree on what to expect moving forward.

Boundaries

Boundaries are typically all about personal comfort levels—they are where we personally draw the line between what is and is not okay with us. Boundaries serve as guidelines for our relationships, and help us understand how to act in order to make our partner feel most respected and supported. It can feel awkward, maybe even selfish, to talk with your partner about your limits, especially if a relationship is just beginning and you’re trying to keep things cool and casual. However, this is actually a really important and healthy step! Remember, your partner is not a mind reader, so communicating clearly about what you like and want in your relationship (and what you don’t like and don’t want) helps make sure everyone is on the same page from the start.

When setting boundaries, it can help to get really specific. Are there certain ways you wouldn’t be okay with someone else touching your partner, or with your partner touching someone else? What words do you want reserved only for your relationship (for example, saying “I love you” or calling someone “sexy”)? While it can feel uncomfortable to think about these hypotheticals, it’s much easier to talk about these situations before they happen, rather than after, once feelings are hurt.

A person’s boundaries can look different from relationship to relationship, and even at different points in the same relationship. As things progress, it’s normal and healthy to get more comfortable around your partner, and you may find yourself opening up to new experiences that might have crossed a boundary for you when you first started dating. Revisiting boundaries in a mutual, respectful way can be a really healthy behavior for partners to engage in, and that’s where open, honest communication comes in again.

So, what happens if your boundaries don’t match up with your partner’s? Navigating these differences can be one of the hardest parts of being in a relationship. Most times, nobody’s boundaries are more right or wrong than someone else’s, but everyone goes through different experiences that impact personal comfort levels. In a healthy relationship, it may be possible to talk through your differences and mutually agree on what the boundaries will be at this point in your partnership, and possibly revisit those agreements down the road. If you really can’t find mutual ground, though, that might mean it isn’t possible for the two of you to be in a healthy relationship right now, and that’s okay too. Sometimes people just aren’t on the same page when it comes to what they want and need from a partner, and that’s a valid and healthy reason to end a relationship. What’s never okay is pressuring, coercing, or forcing someone to adjust a boundary they aren’t ready to change. Disrespecting a partner’s boundaries or forcing them to do things they aren’t comfortable with is definitely unhealthy and can even be abusive.

So What’s the Difference?

By now, you may have figured out that boundaries and expectations go hand in hand. Our expectations help us think about what our boundaries are, and our boundaries inform our expectations. When boundaries are set, there’s an expectation that they will be respected, and setting boundaries helps us know what to expect in our relationship. Having agreed-upon boundaries and expectations gives partners a layer of security in the relationship that helps build trust. Once we know how we’re supposed to act in our relationship, we can trust our partner to hold up their end of the bargain. When boundaries and expectations aren’t clearly set, we might engage in monitoring or controlling behaviors to try to get our needs met, which isn’t healthy or fair to our partner.

We often go into new relationships with certain expectations based on boundaries of prior relationships. For example, if your past partner was cool with you tagging them in photos on social media, you might expect that behavior to be okay in your new relationship. However, it’s important to remember that your new partner is a totally different person, so it’s always a good idea to check in about their thoughts on a specific behavior, rather than assuming they’ll feel the same way your ex did. Similarly, just because a boundary existed in a past relationship doesn’t mean it automatically applies to this one, so make sure you are communicating with your partner about what you both want your relationship to look like.

FAQ about relationship

2019-04-06T11:54:00.001-07:00

At loveisrespect, we get all kinds of questions about dating. We cover a few of the basics below. If you have questions of your own or need more information, you can always chat with a trained peer advocate!

What Is Dating?

“Dating” means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect, we define “dating” as two (or possibly more than two!) people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or open, short-term or long-term. We use the gender-neutral term “partners” to refer to people in an intimate relationship, but you might use a different word (and that’s okay)! No matter how you define dating, it’s important to remember that abuse can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships. That’s why it’s important to recognize the warning signs!

So…Are We Dating?

Whether you call it “dating” or something else, all partners should agree on a definition and the same ground rules for the relationship. Keep these questions in mind:

Do you have romantic feelings for this person?
Are you and the person you’re interested in both looking for a committed relationship?
Do you hang out or go on dates without a group of friends?
Is the status of your relationship something you’ve shared with others in person or online, like on Facebook?
Do both people in the relationship agree that it’s exclusive?

Does “Hooking Up” Count?

Hooking up is a broad term, but generally it refers to casual encounters between people who can be friends but don’t have to be. They may or may not be your only partner and can include sex.

Even if you are “hooking up,” your partner should not be disrespectful or controlling. You should be able to communicate your feelings without being afraid of negative consequences or abuse. Remember the rules for a healthy relationship apply to hook-ups, too.

How Old Do I Have to Be to Date?

There’s no singular right answer to this question, because everyone is different! Many parents set a dating age for their kids according to their culture, views and beliefs. Consider talking to your parents, family and friends to see what their thoughts are. If you think that talking to your parents might be hard, start with your friends or other adults you trust. Ultimately, what matters is that you personally feel ready and confident to make this decision.

But What If I’m Not Dating?

There are other types of relationships that might not be considered dating that are just as real and valid. Maybe you have a child with somebody but do not consider yourself to be in a dating relationship with that person. Having a child together could feel like more than just dating, or you might have chosen not to be together anymore; there is no one way that relationships must work.

Another possibility is that you and your partner are married. Of course, marriage is different from dating in some ways, but you might be surprised at how similar they really are! What makes a dating relationship healthy or unhealthy usually applies to marriage as well.

At loveisrespect, we focus on dating relationships, but the information on this website is helpful for all kinds of relationships!

Is Holding a Grudge Towards My Partner Unhealthy?

Yes, holding a grudge against your partner is unhealthy, not only for your relationship but also for you. Holding grudges for a long time can result in building up anger, distress, doubt and a lot of other negative feelings that can make you unhappy and stressed. To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be able to forgive your partner for their past mistakes. The other option is letting them go. Try to remember: being with a person you cannot forgive is not going to do either of you any good.

Is It Unhealthy If I Date Someone My Family Doesn’t Like?

Dating someone your family doesn’t like can be really hard. It may cause conflict that makes you feel like you can’t be honest or even near the people you love. Consider why your family doesn’t like your partner or why your partner doesn’t like them. Remember that feeling isolated and no one else liking your partner can be warning signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

We’re Not Even Dating, How Can I Be Abused?

Abuse can affect all types of relationships, not just long-term or committed relationships. Even if your relationship is casual or you’ve only hooked up once, you can still experience abuse. If something makes you uncomfortable, scared or threatened, you could be experiencing the warning signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

Does Being Pregnant Mean a Higher Risk for Abuse?

Sadly, yes. Pregnant and parenting teens are at a higher risk of experiencing physical abuse. Feeling discouraged? We’re here for you. You can chat with one of our advocates at any time of the day just by clicking the chat button, text us by sending “loveis” (capitalization does not matter) to 22522 or call us at 1-866-331-9474. We are available 24 hours a day!

What If I Don’t Feel Safe Talking to Someone About What’s Going On?

That’s a totally normal feeling to have. Dating abuse and relationship issues can be hard topics to discuss, but in our experience, getting support can be really helpful. You don’t have to go through it alone! Here at loveisrespect, we have trained peer advocates who are friendly, non-judgmental and available 24/7. So feel free to contact us anytime and know that we’ll keep our conversations completely confidential.

good and healthy LGBTQ relationships

2019-04-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

the relation which is choosen by you wether it is straight or LGBTQ it is healthy because in any relation happiness matters not gender.

A healthy relationship is a healthy relationship regardless of your sexual orientation. If you’re wondering about yours, take our relationship quiz and see how you score.

Abusers may say that disrespectful or violent behavior in a LGBTQ relationship is normal, but it’s not. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and queer (LGBTQ) youth have healthy relationships at similar rates and in much the same way as heterosexual couples.

I Am LGBTQ. Is My Relationship Healthy?

Healthy relationships all look different. What they have in common is being based on equality and respect. What they don’t have in common is how they’re structured or who’s in them. In fact, healthy LGBTQ relationships are often characterized by how resilient, creative and unique they are. It can be hostile out there — why shouldn’t your relationship be a safe space where you’re free to be yourself? Some signs of a healthy relationship include a partner who:

Respects your chosen gender pronouns or name.
Respects your boundaries.
Gives you space to hang out with friends and family without thinking you’re cheating.
Doesn’t take your money or tell you what to buy.
Never threatens to out you to people.
Never tells you you’re not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or whatever you identify as because you don’t have sex the way they want you to.

My Relationship is Unhealthy or Abusive

If you’re LGBTQ, you can face unique obstacles to seeking help, especially when you’re first coming out. Know that you are not alone and there are places that can help. Chat with a peer advocate or check out our referrals to learn more. We can help whether you’re ready to end the relationship or not.

If you’re in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you have many options — think about how to build your support system, plan for your safety and maybe even get a domestic violence restraining order.

why people live in a abusive relation?

2019-04-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive relationship. They don’t understand that breaking up can be more complicated than it seems.

There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. If you have a friend in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, support them by understanding why they may not want to or be able to leave.

Conflicting Emotions

Fear: Your friend may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship. If your friend has been threatened by their partner, family or friends, they may not feel safe leaving.
Believing Abuse is Normal: If your friend doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
Fear of Being Outed: If your friend is LGBTQ+ and has not yet come out to everyone, their partner may threaten to reveal this secret. Being outed may feel especially scary for young people who are just beginning to explore their sexuality.
Embarrassment: It’s probably hard for your friend to admit that they’ve been abused. They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them.
Low Self-esteem: If your friend’s partner constantly puts them down and blames them for the abuse, it can be easy for your friend to believe those statements and think that the abuse is their fault.
Love: Your friend may stay in an abusive relationship hoping that their abuser will change. Think about it — if a person you love tells you they’ll change, you want to believe them. Your friend may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.

Pressure

Social/Peer Pressure: If the abuser is popular, it can be hard for a person to tell their friends for fear that no one will believe them or that everyone will take the abuser’s side.
Cultural/Religious Reasons: Traditional gender roles can make it difficult for young women to admit to being sexually active and for young men to admit to being abused. Also, your friend’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family.
Pregnancy/Parenting: Your friend may feel pressure to raise their children with both parents together, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship. Also, the abusive partner may threaten to take or harm the children if your friend leaves.

Distrust of Adults or Authority

“It’s Just Puppy Love” Adults often don’t believe that teens really experience love. So, if something goes wrong in the relationship, your friend may feel like they have no adults to turn to or that no one will take them seriously.
Distrust of Police: Many teens and young adults do not feel that the police can or will help them, so they don’t report the abuse.
Language Barriers/Immigration Status: If your friend is undocumented, they may fear that reporting the abuse will affect their immigration status. Also, if their first language isn’t English, it can be difficult to express the depth of their situation to others.

Reliance on the Abusive Partner

Lack of Money: Your friend may have become financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship.
Nowhere to Go: Even if they could leave, your friend may think that they have nowhere to go or no one to turn to once they’ve ended the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
Disability: If your friend is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence his or her decision to stay in an abusive relationship.

love story of deepika and ranveer

2019-04-04T12:43:00.003-07:00

LOVE STORY OF DEEPVEER

2018 seems to be the year of surprise weddings in Bollywood. After the grand affair of Sonam Kapoor’s wedding and the hush hush nuptials of Angad Bedi with Neha Dhupia, the most talked about couple of Bollywood will be tying the knot - Deepveer. Yes, it is time for our onscreen Bajirao Mastani to begin a new chapter in their lives!

Soon after Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone announced their wedding dates on 21 October, the grapevine has been abuzz with talk of them possibly choosing Lake Como in Italy as their wedding destination. As they begin their wedding preparations, we bring you a complete roadmap of all the major milestones of their relationship.

2012

Love at first sight, as they say, is what happened with Ranveer Singh. He first saw Padukone at the Zee Cine Awards in Macau, wearing a stunning silver gown. Remembering that day, he says, “I almost went flat!”. When asked by a fan on Twitter about how he remembered what she was wearing, Singh replied, “How can one possible forget that sight

The same year, the duo was cast for Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Goliyon ki Raasleela...Ram Leela. Though the film did hit a few roadblocks in terms of casting, we couldn't have asked for a better pair for Bhansali’s love saga. Their love, allegedly, blossomed on set and sparked rumours of them dating. Both of them tried keeping the budding romance hidden, but in an interview with NDTV, Ranveer said, "It's part of the territory, you have to accept it that as public figures your life is public too, you cannot get upset and you have to take it in your stride." Their beautiful chemistry in the film rocked the box office, making the film one of the highest grossing ones of the year.

2013

This year turned out to be an extremely successful one for Deepika, not just on the personal front but professionally as well, thanks to the release of four back to back blockbuster films - Race 2, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, Chennai Express and Ram Leela.

While she shot for Homi Adajania’s Finding Fanny in Goa for months on end, Ranveer was seen dropping by on sets, on more occasions than one. He even has a cameo in the film, where he played the deceased husband of Padukone. Reports say that Deepika had no idea about the said cameo and Ranveer came on board after he loved the way Homi narrated his part.

Given that the Piku actor hadn’t been home for months, Singh reportedly visited her in Dubai where she was shooting for Happy New Year. Photographs of them letting their hair down at a party thrown by Shah Rukh Khan, went viral on social media, giving to substantiating their dating rumours.

2014

While the couple was trying too hard to keep their relationships under wraps, their sizzling chemistry couldn’t escape the sight of ardent fans when they performed together at Zee Cine Awards 2014. They danced to the songs of their hit, Ram Leela,and truly captivated the audience.

It wasn’t just Ranveer who ended up surprising his lady love on sets. Reportedly, in June 2014, Deepika too paid a visit to Ranveer when he was shooting for Zoya Akhtar's multi-starrer Dil Dhadakne Do in Spain.

2015

Social media went crazy over Ranveer’s ‘cuteness’, when pictures surfaced from director Farah Khan’s 50th birthday bash on 8 January 2015. Being his hopeless romantic self, the Befikre lad held out a yellow flower for her, while she walked on holding onto Karan Johar’s arm.

At IIFA Awards 2015, Singh threw subtlety out of the window and received Padukone on stage by going down on one knee. The actor couldn’t help blushing while he sang Ram Chahe Leela for her.

Their electrifying chemistry surpassed new levels when they shot for the Vogue India grand anniversary cover. One couldn’t help but notice the comfort and camaraderie they shared. In an interview to Vogue, Ranveer mentioned, “Nobody looks at anything else when Deepika is in the frame”, adding playfully, “I wouldn’t!”.

The pair’s charm won our hearts once again when they came together for Bhansali’s epic romantic drama Bajirao Mastani. Not just their chemistry but their individual performances also won accolades from audience and film critics alike. During the film promotions, Singh didn’t hesitate in appreciating Padukone’s abilities as an actor.

“It’s my privilege that I get to work with her twice during this phase, in Ram-Leela and Bajirao Mastani. I trust her immensely, I know that she’s one of the most generous actors that I’ve ever worked with. I know that I can surrender to her in a scene... just connect with her, be present with her, look into her eyes and really mean what I’m saying. She’s an incredible performer”, he said.

When his famous Bajirao moustache had to be chopped off, for him to start shooting Befikre, Ranveer trusted no one but her. In a viral video, Deepika is seen chopping off Ranveer’s moustache with a pair of scissors and their fans couldn’t stop gushing.

2016

During the Tamasha actor’s performance at IIFA 2016, the fans got little more than a glimpse of the couple’s PDA when she ended her performance by making heart gestures and giving a flying kiss to an elated Ranveer. The pair more or less went public with their relationship when they were seen leaving the Ambani bash hand in hand, that year.

2017

2017 had been a landmark year for Deepika, as she marked her foray into Hollywood with xXx: Return of Xander Cage opposite Vin Diesel. Singh could be seen by her side always, lending his support throughout one of the most important phases of her career. Later that year, the duo was also spotted attending the Ganpati celebrations at the Ambani house together, coordinated in metallic ensembles.

2018

Even after their two blockbuster films together, the audience wanted more of them and they got Padmaavat. Though they didn’t share screen space in the film, they definitely proved to be each other’s lucky charms, with the movie taking the box office by storm. The two were also seen entering the premiere together, walking hand in hand.

During this time, in an interview with Filmfare Middle East, the onscreen Padmavati said, “I am bored when people say that they love his energy. The man has so much more! He is an extremely good human being. He is kind and good to people. He is very real, emotional and sensitive. He is a man who is not afraid to cry and I love that about him. He is a man!” she said on being quizzed about the most admirable quality in Ranveer.

In the opening episode of Koffee with Karan Season 6, the love lives of both Deepika and Alia Bhatt were discussed openly, and the announcement of the impending wedding of the on screen Ramleela couple coincided with the episode where there were many veiled references to the wedlock.

Putting an end to all speculations, the duo announced on their social media handles that they would be getting hitched on 14-15 November this year. Nobody sets relationship goals like they do, and we can’t help but keep thinking how and where their beautiful wedding would take place. They recently opened up about the #MeToo movement at HT Summit and even broke into a dance. Let’s leave you with that adorable visual.

signs of love

2019-04-04T12:25:00.003-07:00

This Happen When You’re Falling In Love...

1. YOUR HORMONES GO WILD.

When you fall in love, your cheeks flush, your heart beats faster, your palms are sweaty and your head starts spinning. This is all thanks to a rush of chemicals and hormones that flood your brain and body when you fall in love.

This leaves you with feelings of euphoria similar to an endorphin-induced “runner’s high.”

There’s nothing you can do about this; love physically makes you crazy.

2. YOU WAKE UP AND GO TO SLEEP THINKING OF SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

From the moment you wake up in the morning to the moment you go to sleep at night, the person you love occupies at least some part of your mind. How does your brain even know to think of that person first thing in the morning? Doesn’t it have other more important things to worry about?

The truth is this phenomenon is usually subconscious and automatic, almost like your mind is programmed to do so. Even throughout the day, that person stays staunchly in the back of your mind.

As crazy as it may be, it is nice to think of someone beside you every once in a while.

3. YOU SMILE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE.

We’ve all seen them: the smile texters. Smile texting is the perfect example of what happens when you’re falling in love. You experience weird, giddy feelings of happiness, even when you’re not physically with that special person.

You might smile when he or she texts you, when you hear a certain song, see a picture on Facebook or when you just think of that person.

In general, little things like that will make you smile more than usual because you are just so blissfully in love (and because of all those happy hormones flowing through your bloodstream).

People may look at you funny and wonder why you’re so happy, but you don’t even mind.

4. YOU BECOME A LITTLE OBSESSIVE.

I wonder what she’s doing right now. I wonder if she’s watching the game. She loves football, which is cool for a girl. But I forget what her favorite team is … I need to ask again. Or maybe I should ask now. I’ll mention it if she texts me later. Oh look, a bag of chips. She loves chips. But only the BBQ kind.

People in love, love to think about each other. They somehow manage to relate even the smallest things to the person they love. If your life is the universe, then chances are, your love is the sun, and everything revolves around that.

5. YOU DO EMBARRASSING THINGS.

Ever heard those sappy stories of boys in the olden days throwing rocks at a girl’s window, and playing her songs on their guitar? That was then, but today, there are videos all over YouTube of men proposing to their fiancés with elaborate flash mobs that take place in front of hundreds of people.

Love will make you do embarrassing things because when you’re falling in love with someone, you will do almost anything to make him or her happy, no matter what other people may think.

6. YOU DO THINGS OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

Along the same lines, falling in love will make you do things you never even considered doing before. Boys, that may mean taking a yoga class or going to get a pedicure with your girlfriend (they feel really good, it’s okay to admit it).

Girls, that may mean watching "SportsCenter" for two hours or playing a couple games of FIFA. Of course, doing these things can open your mind to new activities you might enjoy. Doing them with the one you love is a great bonding experience, too.

7. YOU SUDDENLY CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE.

Before, you may have rolled out of bed and thrown on some athletic shorts and a t-shirt, but you now have a reason to try to look good.

You might comb your hair more often, double check to make sure you didn’t forget deodorant, shave more meticulously and go to the gym, instead of falling asleep on your couch after work.

8. YOU SING.

When you’re falling in love, you feel so happy and carefree, you can’t always keep it inside. Whether you sound like William Hung or Ariana Grande, sometimes, you just have to sing at the top of your lungs to let it all out.

9. YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY.

You may find yourself driving out of the way to pick up your love’s favorite dinner, or calling in sick to work just to hang out with him or her.

The crazy part is that even though these things may inconvenience you, you’re happy and excited to do them. You actually take joy in making that extra effort to please your SO and show him or her how much you care.

10. YOU GO BLIND.

As the old adage goes, love is blind. When you’re falling in love, everything your love does and says is interesting and amazing. Every word uttered from his or her mouth, and every move he or she makes, is magical.

Love blinds you to faults and screwups, and even when you do notice them, you’re quick to forgive because your love can do no wrong. As it turns out, Ke$ha might be right about this one: Love is a drug.

It makes us crazy, but it also makes us happy. Love is exciting; it’s addicting, it’s confusing and it’s weird.

So, cheers to love: both our worst nightmare and our best friend.

emotional trauma

2019-04-04T12:20:00.002-07:00

Emotional trauma is everywhere, and so many of us are affected by it.

When we lose someone or something we love, or a stressful event breaks apart our sense of security, we can begin to view our environment and those around us as dangerous. Even if a certain event doesn’t cause us any physical harm, being in a state of fear can still cause us to become traumatized.

Before we get into the 5 steps of healing from emotional trauma, let’s take a quick look at common forms and symptoms that often accompany it.

Common types of emotional trauma:

• Divorce or relationship breakup

• Loss of health

• Losing a job

• Loss of financial stability

• Miscarriage

• Retirement

• Death of a pet

• Loss of a cherished dream

• A loved one’s serious illness

• Loss of a friendship

• Loss of safety after a trauma

• Selling the family home

As a result of emotional trauma, we begin to feel numb, disconnected and lose our trust in others. It can take a lot of time for this pain to go away, and for us to feel safe again. If the trauma we’ve experienced is psychological, we may suffer from troubling memories, anxiety and emotions.

Trauma causes a shock to our minds, bodies and souls, which can lead to emotional problems in the future. There are cognitive, behavioural, physical, and psychological reactions to emotional trauma.

Here are some of the most common emotional responses:

• Increased arousal

• Post traumatic stress disorder

• Avoidance of social settings, friends, loved ones

• Feelings of anger or irritability, reactiveness

• Sense of guilt and shame

• Grief and depression

• Self-image and views of the world become more cynical

• Sexual relationships suffer

• Drug and alcohol abuse

The emotional responses listed above can make us feel as though we’re going crazy or “losing it”. Have you ever noticed that, following a traumatic event, your physical health begins to show symptoms?

Whether the trauma caused direct physical harm, or the heavy energy of pain and negative emotion wore you down, both circumstances are accompanied by deep emotional pain which can make you ill. Insomnia, nightmares, chronic fatigue, difficulty concentrating, panic attacks, edginess, agitation, muscle tension and a rapid heartbeat are all physical symptoms of emotional stress.

Untreated emotional trauma also has serious side effects.

If unaddressed and left untreated, emotional trauma can result in:

• Self-destructive and impulsive behaviours

• Uncontrollable reactive thoughts

• Feelings of shame, guilt, hopelessness, or despair

• Loss of former belief systems

• Compulsive behavioural problems

• Substance use challenges

• Sexual problems

• Inability to maintain close relationships or maintain appropriate friendships

• Hostility and argumentativeness

• Introversion

• Feelings of being threatened

When we experience emotional trauma, oftentimes, we’re told to focus on ourselves— but that can be much easier said than done. When it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, it’s challenging to even find the strength to lift your leg, and begin putting one foot in front of the other. In fact, finding strength to heal from emotional trauma can be utterly exhausting and debilitating at times— however, it’s one of the most important things you can do for your well-being.

It’s important to maintain the principle of “keeping it simple” when you begin your healing journey, to avoid overwhelm, frustration or the desire to give up entirely. With that in mind, here are five simple but necessary steps for healing:

5 Simple Steps to Healing From emotional trauma

1. Be Willing to Heal

The desire to feel better can be your best ally on the road to recovery. Don’t give in to the ego, which will try to tell you there’s something wrong with you: there’s nothing wrong with you. The reactions you experience because of trauma are only responses— they are not who you are.

2. Accept Support From Loved Ones

When healing from emotional trauma, it’s important to connect with others regularly and avoid isolating yourself. It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to heal a person. Surrounding yourself with those who support, love and respect you will be invaluable on your path to healing.

3. Seek The Assistance of Trained Professionals

You may wish to attend individual or group therapy, seek out expert opinions and receive the help of someone trained in the field of emotional trauma, who you feel comfortable with and trust. Treatments may focus on education, stress management techniques, the release of body memories, and suppressed emotions that are causing physical and psychological pain.

4. Practice Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation helps quiet the chatter of the mind, to allow you to experience wisdom, acceptance and a new appreciation for life. Emotional trauma gets stored inside the body, so in addition to therapy sessions, the body greatly benefits from entering thoughtless moments and having a mindfulness practice.

5. Incorporate Movement Into Your Daily Routine

Yoga and other forms of physical activity release endorphins, and make you feel safe and stable. It’s vital to ensure you regularly engage in physical activity to help create positive feelings which have been torn down from emotional trauma.

It may be hard to believe this now, but you must remember the heart does heal. Love yourself enough to believe that you deserve refuge from pain and suffering. With faith and willingness to take the right steps, you’ll experience new levels of joy, appreciation, and vitality once you’ve healed.

“If you are to free your heart, you must embrace your painful feelings, have faith that your thoughts will arise and cease of their accord. They will pass if you can face them head on, with kind eyes. Your thoughts and feelings will dissolve if you don’t try to hold on to them or push them away. Thinking will dissipate. Trust in this universal law of change.”

–Detox Your Heart: Meditations for Healing Emotional Trauma

T – Trust yourself, family, friends and professionals to support you

R – Recovery is a process that takes time and patience

A – Attend to yourself with love and self-care

U – Understand emotional trauma is not your fault

M – Meditation, Mindfulness, and Movement are essential for healing

A – Accept that you are a whole person.

benefits of rejection

2019-04-04T12:12:00.001-07:00

Benefits Of Rejection That Will Surely Impress You

1. Rejection motivates us to do better.

“The position’s been filled.” “This isn’t what we’re looking for right now.” “You’re a sweet guy/girl, but…” Ouch! We’ve all been there and done that at some point, and it’s unquestionably frustrating. When confronted with rejection, this can be a sign that you need to be doing something you’re not, or stop doing something you are. Figuring out what that is will put you on the path to doing better, and experiencing less rejection in the future.

2. Rejection reminds us we’re human.

Everyone’s the star of their own movie, and this can lead to an understandable but inaccurate sense of one’s own importance in the larger scheme of things. Rejection is actually a good thing because everyone at some point could stand to be taken down a peg or two. Rejection helps us here because it reminds us we’re all only human, no matter how extraordinary we’d like to believe we are.

3. Rejection teaches patience.

Some kinds of rejection can be hurtful, while others can be outright devastating. Not landing that job you’ve spent a month sending resumes, emails, and faxes back and forth about can be one of the worst rejections because the bills and the cupboard don’t care about your hurt feelings. However, this is one time when rejection can actually help you by teaching you to be patient and keep moving. You may not get what you want right away, but if you’re willing to work hard and be patient, you will eventually find yourself where you want to be.

4. Rejection causes us to explore different paths.

Sometimes rejection is life’s way of telling us we need to look at a different path to get where we want to be. Maybe the path we’re trying to take to get to our goals is all wrong for us, or maybe there’s a better way and we just haven’t realized it yet. Rejection can be a positive experience if you’re willing to take another road or try a new way of achieving the same thing.

5. Rejection forces us to reevaluate ourselves.

Many people deal badly with rejection. This is natural. Rejection is a painful experience. However, when someone hears the same thing enough times, they generally start to listen. “You have great skills with numbers, but you’re not too hot at dealing with other people,” is an example of such a rejection. Learning how to remake ourselves to be more goal-oriented, more people-oriented, or tweak aspects of our personalities to get along better with those around us is an important benefit of rejection people tend to overlook.

6. Rejection makes us reconsider our goals.

As a species we tend to ignore warning signs that are there for our benefit, like the person who struggles through an MBA program because they’ve been told their whole lives that’s the ticket to money and power, when what they really want to do is play the violin in an orchestra. Then the person gets a job interview and is told they were woefully underqualified. At the same time, the local orchestra is looking for a third-chair violin player. Your passions will always shine through, and sometimes rejection is a way for the world to force us to consider that impossible dream we’ve always wanted to chase rather than the “safe goal” that’s going to make us miserable in the long run.

7. Rejection creates opportunities for change.

Think about the last time someone said, “I would never have found this job/met this person/moved to this place if the other place hadn’t refused to hire me/person hadn’t refused to marry me/town had more jobs available.” Rejection can be a powerful force for analyzing why we go for the goals we do and what it is about these goals that drives us on, or away. It can also be a good time for introspection and considering one’s reasons for going after certain things, people, jobs, or situations. If we would only take the time to listen to ourselves about these things, as a race we’d be a lot happier and a lot more confident in ourselves and our instincts.

8. Rejection gives us new ways of looking at things.

Everybody gets tunnel vision once in a while. We focus on one goal, one person, or one dream to the exclusion of all else. Rejection can give us a time to pause and take another look at our objectives and how we’re trying to meet them. In this case, the idea is to look around with new eyes and consider, not only new ways of getting to the same goal, but how we view our goals and dreams.

9. Rejection makes us stronger.

There’s an old saying: The strongest fish is the one that swims upstream. Rejection can often feel like it brings you to a complete halt, but in reality it gives you something to push against. People do not grow stronger when everything is working for them, but when they are forced to cope with the unexpected or the undesirable. In this way, rejection helps us by showing us just how strong, resourceful, and capable we really are when the chips are down.

10. Rejection is an opportunity for growth.

Rejection does not have to be an automatic negative. Instead, try looking at rejection as a chance for you to grow and learn as a person. Maybe you learn from rejection that your aftershave gives people sinus headaches, or that your demeanor in a work environment puts people off. The lessons you learn from rejection can be applied to just about any facet of your life, making you a stronger, kinder, more “polished” person.

While rejection can be painful, you can see it can also be a blessing in disguise. The question now is, how will you deal with rejection? Will you take the opportunity it’s giving you…or install that skylight in your living room? The choice is yours.

KALANK (TITLE TRACK) LYRICS

2019-04-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

KALANK (TITLE TRACK) LYRICS

Hawaaon mein bahenge
Ghataon mein rahenge
Tu barkha meri
Main tera baadal piya

Jo tere na huve toh
Kisi ke na rahenge
Deewani tu meri
Main tera paagal piya

Hazaaron mein kisi ko taqdeer aisi
Mili hai ik Ranjha aur Heer jaisi

Na jaane ye zamaana
Kyun chaahe re mitaana
Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya
Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya
Piya, piya, piya re...
Piya re, piya re...
Piya re, piya re, piya re, piya re...

Duniya ki nazron mein ye rog hai
Ho jinko woh jaane ye jog hai
Ik tarfa shayad ho dil ka bharam
Do tarfa hai toh ye sanjog hai

Layi re humein zindgani ki kahaani
Kaise mod pe
Huve re khud se paraaye
Hum kisi se naina jod ke

Hazaaron mein kisi ko taqdeer aisi
Mili hai ik Ranjha aur Heer jaisi

Na jaane ye zamaana
Kyun chaahe re mitaana
Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya
Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya

Main tera, main tera, main tera, main tera
Main tera, main tera, main tera, main tera
Main gehra tamas tu sunhera savera
Main tera o, main tera
Musaafir main bhatka tu mera basera
Main tera o.. main tera

Tu jugnu chamakta
Main jungle ghanera
Main tera aa...
O piya main tera, main tera, main tera
Ho... main tera
Ho... main tera, main tera, main tera
O...

Written by:
Amitabh Bhattacharya

story of heer and ranjha in hindi

2019-04-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

पाकिस्तान की चेनाब नदी के किनारे पर तख़्त हजारा नामक गाँव था | यहा पर रांझा जनजाति के लोगो की बहुतायत थी | मौजू चौधरी गाँव का मुख्य ज़मींदार था | उसके आठ पुत्र थे और राँझा उन चारो भाइयो में सबसे छोटा था | राँझा का असली नाम ढीदो था और उसका उपनाम राँझा था इसलिए उसे सभी राँझा कहकर बुलाते थे | | राँझा चारो भाइयो में छोटा होने के कारण अपने पिता का बहुत लाडला था | राँझा के दुसरे भाई खेती में कड़ी मेहनत करते रहते थे और राँझा बाँसुरी बजाता रहता था |

अपने भाइयो से जमीन के उपर विवाद के चलते रांझा ने घर छोड़ दिया | एक रात रांझा ने एक मस्जिद में आश्रय लिया और सोने से पहले समय व्यतीत करने के लिए बांसुरी बजाने लगा |मस्जिद के मौलवी साब जब बांसुरी का संगीत सुना और बांसुरी बजाना बंद करने को कहा | जब राझा ने कारण पूछा तो मौलवी ने बताया कि इस बांसुरी का संगीत इस्लामिक नही है और ऐसा संगीत मस्जिद में बजाना वर्जित है | जवाब में रांझा ने कहा कि उसकी धुन इस्लाम में कोई पाप नही है| मूक मौलवी ने दूसरा कोई विकल्प ना होते हुए उसे मस्जिद में रात रुकने दिया |

अगली सुबह वो मस्जिद से रवाना हो गया और एक दुसरे गाँव में पंहुचा जो हीर का गाँव था | सियाल जनजाति के सम्पन्न जाट परिवार में एक सुंदर युवती हीर का जन्म हुआ जो अभी पंजाब ,पाकिस्तान में है | हीर के पिता ने रांझा को मवेशी चराने का काम सौंप दिया | हीर , रांझा की बांसुरी की आवाज में मंत्रमुग्ध हो जाती थी और धीरे धीरे हीर को रांझा से प्यार हो गया | वो कई सालो तक गुप्त जगहों पर मिलते रहे | एक दिन हीर के चाचा कैदो ने उन्हें साथ साथ देख दिया और सारी बात हीर के पिता चुचक और माँ मालकी को बता दी |

अब हीर के घरवालो ने राँझा को नौकरी से निकाल दिया और दोनों को मिलने से मना कर दिया | हीर को उसके पिता ने सैदा खेरा नाम के व्यक्ति से शादी करने के लिए बाध्य किया | मौलवियों और उसके परिवार के दबाव में आकर उसने सैदा खरा से निकाह कर लिया | जब इस बात की खबर राँझा को पता चली तो उसका दिल टूट गया | वो ग्रामीण इलाको में अकेला दर दर भटकता रहा | एक दिन उसे एक जोगी गोरखनाथ मिला | गोरखनाथ जोगी सम्प्रदाय के “कानफटा” समुदाय से था और उसके सानिध्य में रांझा भी जोगी बन गया |रांझा ने भी कानफटा समुदाय की प्रथा का पालन करते हुए अपने कान छीद्वा लिए और भौतिक संसार त्याग दिया |

रब्ब का नाम लेता हुआ वो पुरे पंजाब में भटकता रहा और अंत में उसे हीर का गाँव मिल गया जहा वो रहती थी | वो हीर के पति सैदा के घर गया और उसका दरवाजा खटखटाया | सैदा की बहन सहती ने दरवाजा खोला | सेहती ने हीर के प्यार के बारे में पहले ही सुन रखा था | सेहती अपने भाई के इस अनैच्छिक शादी के विरुद्ध थी और अपने भाई की गलतियों को सुधारने के लिए उसने हीर को राँझा के साथ भागने में मदद की | हीर और रांझा वहा से भाग गये लेकिन उनको राजा ने पकड़ लिया |राजा ने उनकी पुरी कहानी सूनी और मामले को सुलझाने के लिए काजी के पास लेकर गये | हीर ने अपने प्यार की परीक्षा देने के लिए आग पर हाथ रख दिया और राजा उनके असीम प्रेम को समझ गया और उन्हें छोड़ दिया |

वो दोनों वहा से हीर के गाँव गये जहा उसके माता पिता निकाह के लिए राजी हो गये | शादी के दिन हीर के चाचा कैदो ने उसके खाने में जहर मिला दिया ताकि ये शादी रुक जाये | ये सुचना जैसे ही राँझा को मिली वो दौड़ता हुआ हीर के पास पहुचा लेकिन बहुत देर हो चुकी थी | हीर ने वो खाना खा लिया था जिसमे जहर मिला था और उसकी मौत हो गयी | रांझा अपने प्यार की मौत के दुःख को झेल नही पाया और उसने भी वो जहर वाला खाना खा लिया और उसके करीब उसकी मौत हो गयी |हीर और राँझा Heer Ranjha को उनके पैतृक गाँव झंग में दफन किया गया |

ऐसा माना जाता है कि हीर राँझा Heer Ranjha की कहानी का सुखद अंत था लेकिन वारिस शाह ने अपनी कहानी में दुखद अंत बताया था | वारिस शाह ने स्थानीय लोकगीतों और पंजाब के लोगो से हीर रांझा की प्रेम कहानी के बारे में पता कर कविता लिखी थी जिसे ही सभी लोग अनुसरण करते है | उसके अनुसार ये घटना आज से 200 साल पहले वास्तविकता में घटित हुयी थी जब पंजाब पर लोदी बश का शाषन था |

इस कहानी से प्रेरित होकर भारत और पाकिस्तान में कई फिल्मे बनी क्योंकि इस घटना के वक़्त भारत-पाकिस्तान विभाजन नही हुआ था | विभाजन से पहले “हीर रांझा” Heer Ranjha नाम से 1928 , 1929 , 1931 और 1948 में कुल चार फिल्मे बनी हालांकि ये चारो फिल्मे उतनी सफल नही रही | विभाजन के बाद पहली बार 1971 में “हीर रांझा ” Heer Ranjha फिल्म भारत में बनी जिसमे राजकुमार और प्रिया राजवंश मुख्य कलाकार थे और ये फिल्म काफी सफल रही | इसके बाद 2009 में “हीर रांझा ” फिल्म पंजाबी में बनी जिसमे गुरदास मान मुख्य अभिनेता थे | पाकिस्तान में 1970 में हीर रांझा Heer Ranjha फिल्म बनी थी और 2013 में हीर रांझा Heer Ranjhaधारावाहिक पाकिस्तानी चैनल PTV पर प्रसारित होता था |

signs of toxic relationship

2019-04-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

No relationship is perfect, in the personal or the business sphere. But for the most part, a good relationship makes you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.

On the other side of the coin are toxic relationships--the ones that make you feel drained, depleted, and sometimes even distraught.

Whether you're running a business, working with a partner, leading an organization, or managing a team, the last thing you need is a toxic relationship.

Here are some signs to help you recognize a toxic relationship:

1. All take, no give. Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.

2. Feeling drained. If, instead of feeling happy and productive, you're always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it's time to re-evaluate.

3. Lack of trust. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

4. Hostile atmosphere. Constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.

5. Occupied with imbalance. A one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.

6. Constant judgment. In judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be helpful but rather to belittle.

7. Persistent unreliability. Mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the core of any good relationship.

8. Nonstop narcissism. If the other party's interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it's impossible to achieve any kind of balance.

9. Loaded with negative energy. It's almost impossible for anything positive to come out of a relationship filled with negativity.

10. Lack of communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. Period.

11. Continuous disrespect. Mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership.

12. Mutual avoidance. If you spend your time avoiding each other, that tells you all you need to know.

13. Insufficient support. If you cannot turn to each other, is there a reason to be in the relationship?

14. Ceaseless control issues. If one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you're probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.

15. Never-ending drama. Good relationships improve your life; they don't make it messier.

16. Persistent self-betrayal. If you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you're in a damaging relationship.

17. Constant challenges. All relationships go through challenges, but good relationships work through them.

18. Feelings of unworthiness. It's an insidious thing negative relationships do: They leave you feeling you don't deserve any better.

19. Vibes of entrapment. Is the other person a positive force in your life, or are you there because you don't see any way out?

20. Always undermining. If a relationship can't be reassuring, it's failing a crucial test.

21. Empty pretense. Smiles don't always mean everything is OK.

22. Packed with uncertainty. When nothing is sure, forward movement feels impossible.

23. Brimming with envy. Partners are never equal in all aspects, but that should be a source of strength, not of a source of disruptive envy.

24. Shortage of autonomy. Anyone in any relationship should have the right to say no.

25. Permeates victimhood. You can't move onto the future if you're tied to someone who's still stuck in the past.

26. Diminishes your self-worth. When you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.

27. Laced with dishonesty. Every lie between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.

28. Makes you unhappy. If someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.

29. Feels uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows.

30. Lowers your high standards. Toxic relationships can cause us to slowly begin accepting what was once not acceptable.

31. Senses stagnant. Growth and learning are vital, and you can't afford to be cut off from them.

32. Cuts corners. Nothing is ever worth cutting corners, or accepting anything that is second rate.

33. Filled with criticism. A nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve; it's not about making things better but boosting the critic's ego.

34. Brings out the worst. If you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your best self.

35. Cannot do anything right. If you cannot do anything right, maybe the relationship is all wrong.

Relationships are important, and a toxic relationship can cost you dearly in time and energy that you could be putting to much better use.

Stay true to yourself and your values, listen to your heart, and be strong if you need to extricate yourself from a toxic relationship.

PUBLISHED ON: april 05, 2019

How Do You Know Your Relationship Is ended?

2019-04-04T11:43:00.001-07:00

20 Signs It's Time To End Your Relationship

1. You talk about the relationship improving in some hypothetical future.

In other words, you're convinced the relationship will be better "when": I know he'll appreciate me more when his friends get married; She'll be more supportive of my anxiety disorder when we've finished school; We'll enjoy each other's company more when we move in together.

Many believe their partners will change — for example become more committed, understanding, or affectionate — when they hit a milestone or some external stressor is reduced. This certainly does happen, but it's not a guarantee. If you knew they'd never change, would you still be in it for the long haul?

Base your desire to be in your relationship on your present experience, not on some future idea of what you want it to be.

2. You're feeling pressured to change in one or more areas, and it makes you feel less worthy as a result.

It's one thing for your partner to ask you to stop putting so much garlic in the salad dressing. It's another thing for them to ask you to lose 20 pounds or get a better job. You want to feel loved by your partner unconditionally. If they want you to change, it's likely a projection of their own insecurity. Tell them to connect with a counselor and let you keep being you.

3. You feel loved and supported ... when you're happy.

Many of us feel loved and supported in our relationships when we're feeling happy, confident and comfortable. But what happens when we're having a "low" day, when we're mega-stressed at work, when we're bedridden with the stomach flu, or when we're paralyzed by anxiety? What happens when we lose someone we love, get laid off at work, or get a diagnosis that turns our world upside down?

When we feel pressured to maintain a certain emotional equilibrium around our partners, we breed secondary emotions — guilt, shame, and anxiety — for experiencing anything other than happiness and calm. Inevitably, life will throw more things than just happiness and calm your way, so it's important feel safe feeling those less less comfortable emotions in the presence of your partner.

4. You feel disrespected, under-appreciated, frustrated, hurt, insignificant, lonely, invalidated, ashamed or guilty on a regular basis.

And you rarely hear "I'm sorry." Sure: "regular basis" is a timeframe for you to define. Some people would say it's never OK to be made to feel such things in a relationship, but hey, we're all humans and we all say hurtful or unsupportive things from time to time. If your partner partner messes up occasionally and responds with remorse, that might not be a reason to call it quits. However, if the above feelings are common ones, tell Jack (or Jill) to hit the road.

5. By asking your partner to hang out with your friends or family, you feel like you're asking them to hand over all their positions and move to the Arctic.

Do you dread telling your partner about your sister-in-law's dinner invitation? Does attending your best friend's birthday party go into hours of negotiations? Do your coworkers sometimes question if your partner, in fact, exists?

Your better half doesn't have to love every member of your family and every one of your friends, but it is important that they're willing to embark on significant other duties without (much) protest. You of course, do the same, right?

6. When you express a need, you can't help but feel crazy, needy, dramatic, high-maintenance, and unreasonable.

Much of the time, you even end up apologizing for it. Look, we all have our "crazy" moments, and we ought to respect that our partners have theirs. We're all imperfect, and jealousy can lead to "creative" ways of expressing ourselves.

But if you've lost the ability to clearly see that your needs are warranted and deserving of airtime, run. Your self-esteem and self-respect will be the next to go.

7. You only feel secure in the relationship when you're physically together.

OK, there's more to this one than just a couple sentences. Insecurity in the pockets between texting, calling, and being together could be an indicator of insecure attachment — something that's best explored further with your therapist. It's not your partner's responsibility to heal those wounds (at least entirely).

However, for those of us who developed "attachment issues" somewhere along the way, we tend to seek out relationships that mirror those early attachment relationships. And so, we might be maintaining a less than optimal relationship with our partner because it's what we know, and not because it's what's healthy. If you're curious about your attachment style, I encourage you to take a test online and/or do some more research.

If you think your attachment style might be getting in the way of experiencing a healthy relationship (I've been there), I really encourage you to connect with a mental health professional. You can't read your way out of this stuff.

8. You feel "hidden" by your partner.

Has it been seven months and you haven't met their parents, who live just three blocks away? Has your partner never posted a photo of you on Instagram, or invited you to their office party?

Depending on the circumstances, keeping things quiet initially can add to the excitement, but there comes a point when being their "little secret" is more degrading than anything else. You deserve to know your partner is proud of you and committed to the relationship.

9. You're a markedly different person around your partner.

Many people find their "better half" makes them "a better person." This shouldn't be a red flag — learning from and being inspired by our partners is one of the wonderful perks of being in a relationship. But many of us have that friend (or are that person) who acts completely different when they're around their partner. Maybe we seem more enthusiastic, easy-going, or pretentious.

If you feel like you're playing a part, behaving and responding based on how you think you should rather than authentically, you might want to reassess things.

If one or more of these signs resonated with you, I encourage you to investigate your thoughts and feelings further. Connect with a therapist, confide in a friend, journal about your experience. Growth and awareness are valuable byproducts of unhealthy relationships, but life is too short to remain in them once we've learned whatever it is we're meant to learn.

10) Small Irritations that Grate over Time

Every new relationship has both good interactions and not-so-good ones. New lovers do their best to appreciate the naturally satisfying connections and ignore those that are irritating. Unfortunately, over time, some of the distressful behaviors begin to fester and are harder for the other partner to ignore. They can be little things like leaving clothes on the floor, being chronically late, or forgetting a promise.

There are also more serious ones like still staying close to an old boy or girl friend, getting a little too drunk, or not paying bills on time. When these upsetting behaviors hit a critical mass, the other partner may be unable to tolerate them anymore.

When the good connections are eroded by accumulated resentments, the relationship’s balance shifts in the wrong direction, and the good that once kept the partnership intact becomes buried under layers of disappointment and disillusionment.

11) Unacceptable Behaviors that were not revealed at the Beginning of the Relationship

Most new lovers purposefully hide past behaviors that have negatively affected their other relationships. They hope that, once the new relationship is established, their partner will be more likely to forgive those old transgressions.

No matter how tolerant a new partner may be, there are also certain late confessions that can destroy even the most desirable of relationships. The partner who has bought into believing that the other is trustworthy in those crucial areas, may be unable to accept past behaviors that challenge both that they happened at all and that they were concealed in the first place.

Here are some common examples:

Large debts that must be eventually paid out of mutual resources

An unmentioned child

Past affiliations with less-than-desirable characters who might crop up again

A prior marriage

An inheritable disease

An intrusive and controlling parent lurking in the background

Any past hidden behavior that might be unacceptable to a new partner can be a deal breaker when it is finally revealed. Whether one partner should tell another about them can vary by the seriousness of the issue and whether or not its aftermath will ultimately affect the new relationship.

These common examples can be hard to endure, and it is up to each person when to share them. There are also very serious issues that must be shared up front, even though the risk is high. For instance, if a potential partner has an STD that could threaten health, a vindictive ex-wife or husband, or a prior felony conviction that might affect the future.

12) Mutually Exclusive Important Needs

When caring partners are first together, they accent the ways they can loveeach other, make allowances for differences, and try to push away as-yet-unrevealed needs in hopes that the deepening love between them will ultimately resolve the situation.

Sadly, some partners find over time that they cannot live with certain crucially important different needs or desires. Some of the most common are different sexual appetites, disparate dreams, or how to deal with prior partners, but there are many others. How should our money be allocated? What is our ideal place to live? How many children, if any, should we have? Do we take care of our parents? What are our criteria for friendships? How much time away from each other can we tolerate? How do we communicate and can we resolve important conflicts?

These potential differences rarely come to light early in a relationship. It is only when resources are pooled that partners begin to reveal what they can live without, compromise on, or are unwilling to change. Those differences need to be sorted out with mutual respect and support, but often bring out behaviors that neither partner could have anticipated, nor can live with.

13) Diminishing Illusions

Oh, the blindness of new love. The partners who relish those early moments will hold on dearly to the joy of their bliss. They strive to overlook flaws, and embellish those qualities that make their new partner bigger than life.

It is totally normal for those exaggerated illusions to diminish over time and the partners grow to know each other more deeply. What is considered highly desirable at the beginning may have a negative downside that isn't revealed until the relationship matures. For instance, a partner dedicated to his or her mission in life may seem marvelously impressive, but then disappoints that partner by too often prioritizing that commitment over the relationship. A very attractive partner who dedicates a great deal of time maintaining that result might seem too self-interested. A person wonderfully careful about not over spending can, over time, appear stingy and cheap. A passionate partner who is initially highly sexual may be much less so as other priorities emerge.

A person who promises less and delivers more can be a joy, but it’s a rare quality. New lovers don’t usually focus on potential disappointments. When things quiet down, the partners are in line to make new appraisals of what is good, what needs improvement, and what may be unacceptable.

14) External Stressors

The synergistic energy of a new relationship appears boundless. The couple’s connection makes more than the sum of the parts. Abundant in the energy to face challenge, they feel they can face any crisis, unexpected or anticipated.

Unfortunately, resources are not endless and too many stressors can erode the deepest of commitments. Major illnesses, accidents, work demands, loss of financial stability, family needs, grief over loss, or a series of uncontrollable disappointments can wear away at a couple’s ability to cope. If those stressors continue, they may lose faith in the relationship’s capacity to survive them.

Stressors stretch a couple’s capacity to learn and grow. If they cannot triumph over them, they run the risk of finding each other inadequate. Finding fault with each other’s reactions and responses, they will begin to lose trust and separate to solve their problems alone. Sometimes there is just too much heartache, and any relationship can go down when too much is too much.

15) Power Struggles

When love is new, both partners are willing to compromise. They make decisions together, securing each other’s opinions and striving for agreement. Sharing the power to make decisions, they become an integrated team creating mutually-agreed-upon solutions.

As the relationship matures, one or the other partner may express his or her desires, biases, and prejudices with more intensity. Too often, this process results in reciprocal defensiveness with both partners may resort to defending their positions and trying to pressure the other into complying.

What might have been a mutual decision to spend all of their time together may become a problem if one partner wants more time alone and the other wants to share that time with others. For example, the more social partner may now want to bring other friends into the relationship, or spend time away without the other partner. Perhaps one partner needs quiet, separate time, leaving the other feeling lonely and abandoned. Either may have used sweet seduction, gentle coercion, or invitation in the past, but now has lost patience and uses more intense persuasions. Perhaps either may threaten consequences that are, in reality, hidden power plays for control. Hurtful struggles replace past compromises as each vies to win the game.

Power struggles can result in partners just walking away, ranting in anger, creating desperate pleas, or using guilt as a bludgeoning stick. They may not even realize they are behaving that way, but it is clear that what seems like an innocent invitation has now become a demand with a clear “or else” behind it.

If power struggles persist, couples go from being a team to adversaries on opposite sides of the playing field. Too soon, they begin to save themselves at the expense of the other’s needs.

16) Becoming superficial

It is hard for anyone to be totally authentic and open in a new relationship. Keeping things light, surface, and non-threatening is more common behavior. But, as love grows, successful couples begin to deepen their communication and take more risks in sharing their vulnerabilities and flaws. They are willing to be known in more vulnerable ways and to listen more deeply to each other. That richness of depth in communication and sharing becomes the couple’s signature of love.

It is all too common and terribly sad when partners cannot go beyond superficial interactions. Without the courage or capability to allow their core selves to connect, the relationship will fall prey to shallow connections over time.

There are many reasons why lovers are afraid to connect at a deeper level. Insecurity can make them afraid that their partners will love them less if they know too much. Perhaps, when they've tried in the past, they have had bad experiences and felt rejection, abandonment, or invalidation.

If they've tried in their current relationship and not been well received, they may have recoiled and returned to acting in ways that seem less threatening. As intimate conversations become more difficult, a couple’s chance of sharing hearts and souls in a deepening way begins to expire. Soon, they are more likely to share who they really are with others, rather than with each other. Fearful of scarring the relationship further, they stay with comfortable and non-threatening words and behaviors.

Over time, their interactions become predictable rituals, requiring less and less effort. To others, they may appear to be totally compatible, but they are really just repeating known and secure habitual behaviors. In time they will become susceptible to new and more intriguing experiences.

17) Boredom

Constant discovery of the other partner’s internal and external transformations is the foundation of long-lasting, deepening relationships. Because partners in new relationships are usually “more than enough” to satisfy each other, they often don’t realize that their own independent growth is a necessary requirement for staying in love.

If a couple has made every effort to know one another deeply and comes to the end of that discovery, they will begin to take each other for granted and put less energy into a dull and habitual relationship. Taking the position of “aren't I good enough as I am,” or “You knew who I was when we met and it was okay then, wasn't it?” are rationales that cover the lack of interest in continuous growth.

Very often one partner moves ahead in his or her evolution and the other steadfastly stays the same. If no amount of requests, pleading, or threatening changes that pattern, the person who was once enthralled will feel entrapped in same-old-same-old, and needs to move on.

18) Deadness

Relationships have two major dimensions, growing and scarring. If a relationship constantly scars and doesn’t grow, the emotional scarring will eventually pervade the relationship and destroy it. If the relationship both scars often but continues to grow, it will be constantly in flux, with partners who alternate between hurting and healing. These relationships often continue for long periods of time but usually eventually exhaust the partners who are in them. When a relationship seldom scars and is in constant transformation, the partners within it are lucky people who will probably never lose interest in each other.

The last possible combination is a relationship that neither scars nor grows. On the surface, it may seem a magically compatible, quietly successful union, but the lack of excitement and energy observed can be a powerful warning sign that there is trouble brewing. The partners within it may have become robotic and predictable creatures who soon learn each other’s every phrase, action, and thought. They no longer need to pay much attention to know what is going on. There are no surprises, no challenges, and no growth.

These people seem to go through life as if in a house of mirrors. As long as there is no conflict, they do not color outside the lines nor feel their energy diminishing. If their passive behavior is confined to the relationship, they will eventually have little to say to each other, and even lessened passion. If they are getting their needs for transformation elsewhere, the contradiction between their behavior within and outside of the relationship will eventually erase one or the other.

19) Self-Serving Escapes that Become More Important than the Primary Relationship

Addictions are the most notable examples. Addictive behaviors are simply compulsive, urgent indulgences that take one partner away from the other and cause long-term damage to an intimate relationship. Whether drugs and alcohol, social engagements, involvement in sports or body fitness, or excessive work commitments, they are competing relationships that take precedent over the primary one, and drain its energy. A partner on the other end of an addictive mate is not given a vote to keep the primary relationship intact. Only the partner who engages in the addictive behavior can make the decision to re-prioritize the energy that he or she is spending elsewhere.

The triangles between two committed people when one is addicted to something, or someone, else will always diminish the unique bond between them. Whenever something or someone becomes more important to one partner than to the other, the relationship will be threatened. If the addictive partner is not willing to look at the cost of his or her decision, the partner deprived of a vote will eventually become distressed enough to disconnect.

Any escape that competes, diminishes, or threatens a relationship should be fair play for exploration and repair. Remember, the common resources of a relationship can only be distributed by mutual agreement if the partnership is important to both. One person cannot unilaterally decide to use those resources without the permission of the other without destroying the sanctity of that agreement.

20) Escalating Misunderstandings and Misassumptions

Many people in maturing relationships forget how to listen carefully without jumping to conclusions, especially with regard to what their partners are actually feeling or thinking. They believe that familiarity has entitled them to thinking they know everything they need to about the other, even if one or the other has changed.

Life’s challenges can steal people’s energy away from their relationship and put its exploration on a back burner. Very often over time, the partners believe they no longer have to make an effort to renew their interest in new priorities. They continue making assumptions based on old or incorrect data, and miss crucial changes and meanings that could alter their responses.

Soon, the couple’s communication consists of laconic phrases and inaccurate assumptions. They lose interest in each other and fail to resolve misunderstandings. As these destructive interactions multiply, the partners may no longer try to untangle the mess and let the layers of ignored emotional debris accumulate.

love story of salman and katrina

2019-04-03T14:04:00.003-07:00

Salman Khan And Katrina Kaif :

Ever since the beautiful Katrina Kaif, made her Bollywood debut in the film Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya, starring opposite Salman Khan, rumors started making rounds that she is dating the heartthrob Salman Khan. It was Salman who helped her bag big banner films in Bollywood. He was also Katrina’s mentor who guided every step of her journey in Bollywood!These two, worked together in many super hit films including, Partner, Yuvvraaj, Ek Tha Tiger and Tiger Zinda Hai.

Salman and Katrina were in a relationship for a few years!The duo broke up in 2010 and the reason behind their break up is believed to be Salman’s bratty behavior and aggressiveness. Later, Katrina moved into a relationship with Ranbir Kapoor.Post the Salman-Katrina break up, Katrina’s career observed a downfall! Being human as ever, Salman always stood by her side as a true gentleman.

Two years later, in 2012, while filming for Ek The Tiger, Salman and Katrina came closer and supported each other in an amicable manner!In 2012, during an interview, Katrina said,Wherever life takes me, Salman will always be family.Salman and Katrina have maintained a good friendship throughout and are really professional!Nevertheless, Katrina is still a part of the Khan family. She often visits them as a friend at almost every festival celebrations!The duo starred in the film Tiger Zinda Hai after five years,During the promotions of Tiger Zinda Hai, Salman Khan posted a picture on twitter and fans went crazy when the picture was unveiled.Dil Diyan Gallan is a perfect proposal song from the movie Tiger Zinda Hai.While launching the song, Katrina said,The song is close to my heart. I am happy that I am launching this song with Salman.We truly wish these two people come together in real life as we love this beautiful couple!

Easy Ways To Judge A lady's character

2019-04-03T13:43:00.002-07:00

Easy Ways To Judge A lady's character

It's important to be able to judge a woman's character without falling prey to emotion.

After all you are essentially screening her for her potential to be a compatible relationship partner.

Chemistry and sexual attraction can easily blind a man to a woman's personality and character.

The adrenaline and dopamine rush you experience early on in a relationship can make you overlook major issues or red flags if you are not careful.

While it can be hard, it is best to do some serious evaluation early on in the relationship before you get too serious. This saves you getting too emotionally involved with someone who is actually a bad match, as it becomes much harder to break up later on.

Don't be afraid to ruthlessly judge a girl early on. You aren't judging her as being a good or bad person, you are merely judging whether she is a good match for you. You are determining whether or not to pursue a relationship with this woman, so it is your right and duty to ensure she meets your high standards.

The best way to do this is what Mark Manson calls polarization. Being authentic, vulnerable and controversial in order to quickly filter the good matches from the bad.

When judging a woman, these are the things to look for.

1. What Are Her Values?

Can you distinguish a set of values that guide her life? It doesn't have to be a fixed rigid code but you should be able to tell if she some consistency in her approach to life. You should be able to see whether she is guided by principle or whether she lives life on a whim.

Does she have a purpose or does she live aimlessly? Often those who have values will also have a purpose. It's what gets them out of bed each day and gets them excited to be alive.

Her purpose and values might be different to yours. That's okay because as long as she has them then you will be able to find out if you are compatible. The fact that she is mature enough to have thought about her values suggests she is a woman of good character. Even if you don't perfectly align it's still a good sign.

The problem with dating a girl without values and without a purpose is that she essentially has no compass guiding her through life. It means her life direction can be volatile and unpredictable. You never know which way she is going to turn.

You will be able to find these things out when you get to the stage where you have deep and meaningful conversations about the nature of the world and the meaning of life.

2. How Does She Treat Others?

This includes how she treats friends, family, colleagues, strangers and most tellingly, subordinates.

If she treats others well and speaks well of people then you know that she has integrity and humility and is not completely self absorbed.

If she is judgmental, condescending, critical and negative towards others then watch out. She will always have to be right and others will always be inferior to her.

Watch in particularly about how she talks about ex boyfriends because that is big giveaway to how she will approach relationships. If she has had many exes and blames everything on them then it's a sign of immaturity and a lack of self reflection.

3. What Are Her Close Relationships Like?

When you have been dating a girl for a while you will start to meet her friends, family and colleagues.

If these relationships are on the whole positive and have some depth then you are looking at a woman with good character. Most likely she will have a small number of good friends, rather than a large number of shallow superficial friends. Some of these good friends have probably been around a long time. This is another good sign because it means she is the type of person worth sticking to.

Her relationship with her parents will be mostly positive. This shows that she doesn't harbor any major resentment or baggage from childhood.

A warning sign is a girl who has little depth in her personal relationships. The relationship with her parents might be strained, more what you would expect from a hormonal teenager than a mature adult. She probably goes to a lot of parties and has a huge quantity of friends, but no truly good friends. She probably has a big social media following.

Has she had a lot of sexual partners? This alone is not a warning sign, as emotionally healthy women can choose to sleep with a lot of people. But sometimes it is driven by low self esteem and insecurity. So it may be a sign she has trouble getting close to people and uses sex to mask that pain.

4. Does She Take Responsibility For Her Life?

A woman of good character takes responsibility for her life. She doesn't think that the anybody owes her anything and she works hard to make her way in the world. She doesn't want a free pass. She accepts that she can make mistakes or be wrong.

A woman of questionable character will avoid taking responsibility for her actions and her life. She will always find someone else to blame and thinks that the world owes her something.

She will be easily bored and has no stickability. She is always on the lookout for something new.

5. Is She Resilient?

Life can be hard and we all have to deal with major setbacks at times. Consider how your girl handles challenges, stress and negative emotions.

A good sign is when she takes it in her stride and doesn't let it phase her.

A warning sign is when life gets her down and it all becomes too much.

Unless you want to be coming to her rescue everytime life gets too hard (which I don't recommend) then you should look for a woman who has things together and gets on with it even under difficult circumstances.

6. How Crazy Is She?

Chase Amante has an awesome explanation of the boring to crazy spectrum that all people find themselves on.

A normal boring girl will be stable and reliable but might not quite light your fire. A crazy girl will be wild and fun but by comparison will be unstable and unreliable.

A crazy girl can suck you in early on, with her charisma, enthusiasm and good sex. But she may not be the best choice for a long term relationship.

She will carry a lot of baggage from the past and while she loves to live in the present, she can be terrible at planning for the future.

As Chase argues, this is a spectrum, and we all have our preferences. But make sure you think about whether she has the right mix of boring and crazy.

7. Is She Humble?

A woman of good character knows her own strength and doesn't feel the need to parade it in front of people.

She is happy to be a little shy and a little bit reserved. Not because she lacks confidence, but because she doesn't feel the need to show off because she isn't looking for validation from others.

Insecure women lack humility. To cope with their lack of self esteem they are on a constant mission to project their traits to the world. They want to show off and be seen.

8. Does She Have An Intellectual Interest In The World?

She might not share exactly the same interests or point of view as you, but a woman of good character will have some intellectual interest in the world.

It may be history, politics, economics, current affairs, philosophy or something similar. The point is she has her head switched on and is conscious of the world around her.

If all she is interested in is reality TV and the latest celebrity gossip then chances are she won't be able to stimulate your intellectual interest over a long relationship.

Conclusion

Don't be afraid of judging a woman's character. After all you are deciding whether you want to pursue a relationship with her.

Consider her values, how she treats others and in particular whether she takes responsibility for her life.

She will notget a perfect score across all categories. But you can use this to get a holistic view of whether or not she is right for you.

questions ask to your partner in free time

2019-04-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

50 relationship questions to create better love

Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your partner so they don’t assume any of these are trick questions, you answer first so they know your views too.

Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better.

And by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too.

#1 What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?

#2 Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?

#3 What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?

#4 What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?

#5 What would you define as cheating?

#6 If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?

#7 Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?

#8 Are you friends with any of your exes?

#9 How should finances be planned between a couple?

#10 Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?

#11 What was your first impression about me?

#12 Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?

#13 Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful?

#14 How would you want to spend a special day with each other?

#15 What is the most special memory of us that you hold?

#16 If I told you to jump off a tall cliff and tell you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust me and jump?

#17 Do you have to know all of my friends?

#18 Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?

#19 Do you think confessions make a relations stronger?

#20 Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?

#21 After a break up, would you ask for your gifts back/would you give back all the gifts?

#22 Which love song best describes our relationship?

#23 Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date.

#24 In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?

#25 Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?

#26 What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?

#27 Who would you prefer as a partner, a good looking person or an extremely clever person?

#28 How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?

#29 When was the last time I came in your dreams?

#30 If we went to a store to buy a couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my pick?

#31 Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

#32 How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?

#33 What is your biggest sexual turn off?

#34 What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?

#35 What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?

#36 Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?

#37 How many sexual partners have you had in the past?

#38 If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?

#39 Do you like babies/how many kids would you like to have someday?

#40 When was the last time you disliked me?

#41 If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work, would you tell me about it?

#42 What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?

#43 What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?

#44 When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

#45 What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?

#46 In an argument, whose side would you take, me or your mother?

#47 Would you relocate for love?

#48 Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me all the time?

#49 If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?

#50 What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?

conversation topics in a relationship

2019-04-03T11:45:00.002-07:00

11 Conversation Topics That Have The Potential To Save A Relationship

1. Intimacy

Issues with sex can create big divides between couples, whether it's about lack of desire or not getting their needs fulfilled. "Physical attraction and intimacy wane over time with all relationships," says Coleman. "However, when the couple makes an effort to keep it alive, there is no reason they cannot have a great intimate life for many years. If they don’t discuss this upfront and if both can’t work towards solutions, this can become a major deal breaker in the relationship. It’s also a classic reason people give for pursuing an affair."

2. Relationship Boundaries

"It is important to talk about the boundaries each of you have in the relationship, so you can be clear about what would make each of you feel unsafe, disrespected, or disinterested, "To start this conversation, ask your partner, 'Are there things I might do that would make you want to end the relationship?' This might be a hard question to answer, as many of us don’t have experience checking in on our boundaries until we are already upset that one has been crossed."

3. Relationship Needs

Talk about your needs both as a partner and as an individual. "We have needs that we would like to be met within our relationships; for example safety, support, honesty, and fun," says Francis. "These represent the foundations of your connection, and they are our bonding needs. On the other hand, in our relationships, we still require room to grow as individuals. This may look like desired privacy, solo projects, or relationships with friends outside of the relationship."

4. Relationship Fears

It's not easy, but it's important to not only talk about what you are worried about in your relationship, but to make plans to both ease those concerns and plan for how to handle scary situations together, should they arise. "Fear promotes distance and can undermine your journey together," says Francis. "When afraid, people stop being vulnerable and close off from their partners. Anxiety snowballs, and the longer it lingers, the bigger it gets."

fear of lost decreases the chances of breakup

5. Fighting Style

There will inevitably be road bumps in your relationship, but figuring out the best way to communicate can help diminish any volatile arguments. "The solution is not to avoid tough conversations, but instead learning to fight fair," says Francis. "What is it that each of you are naturally inclined to do when you have hurt feelings or are arguing a point? Once you know what your partner naturally does to protect themselves in an argument, you can not only depersonalize these experiences, but make agreements to change any behaviors that are too hurtful or unproductive."

6. Spending Habits

It is important to talk about how each of you handles money and how you want to handle it as a couple. "Are you interested in saving, spending and what purchases can you make without consulting the other? "With different spending patterns, there can easily be resentment if one person is thrifty and the other is impulsive and indulgent. Agreeing on a strategy will put both of you on the same page, working towards a common goal."

7. Children

Even if you're not at that point yet, if you're in a serious relationship that could lead to a family, you need to get on the same page. "Whether you want to have children or not and how to parent them is a huge topic that couples needs to discuss, as there is a lot of room for divergent opinions.

8. Each Other's Family

You and your partner may have different visions of how you want to interact with your family and their involvement in your lives, so it must be discussed. "It is important for you as a couple to come to an understanding of the boundaries that you want to set with your family," says Milrad. "This will enable you to present a united front to your families and support one another in the process."

9. Alone Time

This is a common topic that is not discussed in most relationships. "Society leads us to believe that when you are with someone, you are supposed to be with them all the time — this is as far from the truth as can be," "When you are constantly with your partner, you are actually developing an unhealthy dependency on them. It is actually really healthy for you to have your own interests and spend time cultivating them. That might mean having a conversation with your partner about how much 'me time' you need in order to do so."

10. Work-Life Balance

You can have a relationship and a career, but no one partner should feel like they're not getting in the time they feel promised. "Many people wish to have huge careers, and this can mean long hours at work,"If that's the case, better to disclose the fact that you won't be at home as much so that your partner can learn to not overly rely on your company."

11. Housework

"Housework is another topic to discuss that can save a relationship," says Steinberg. "Knowing that your partner is comfortable pulling his/her weight cleaning-wise is a big comfort to a lot of people. Many people don't want to be a maid at home to a capable grown-up."

muslim love story

2019-04-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

Hii frndzz myself nafis shaikhh. Mein koi writer nahi hu a ur naahi mein koi regular reader hu. Bus yeh jo mein apni life ka wo sach aap se isliye kar raha hu ki kahi aap bhi wahi galti naa dohraaye. Baat us waqt ki hai jab mein 12th ka exams diya tha. vacation m daddy ne computer kharid kar diya tha kyunki mein computers me bahot intrested tha aur mujhe computer course joined karna tha. Jaise hi computer aaya meine apne mobile k through net start kiya n apni facebook ki id start ki. Mein din bhar apne frndzz se chat karta tha kyuki mere paas pehle mere ph mein chat nahi supported tha n mera thik timepass hojata tha. ek aur mein bahot intresting post bhi karta tha fb pe. Aksar mein note karta tha ki ek ladki mere har Post ko follow kar rahi hai. And uske likes bhi aarahe the bus meine chance dekha n fb p frnd requst bhej di jab ki mein use jaanta bhi nahi tha. Usne requst accept karli thi.

For security reason mein uska real name nahi bataunga bus uska naam aap aaliya (nickname ) tha. meine ek din use hii message bhi kiya. Bus woh sab message timepass karne k liye kar raha tha , kyunki mujhe pyar mein zara bhi bharosa nahi karta tha. Saamne se koi reply nahi aaya. Meine 2nd day reply kiya n saamne se reply aagya. Meine hw r u ka msg kiya usne rply bhi kiya. Fir meine apna intro diya aur usne sirf apna naam bataya fir mein post karta tha mere post sab dard bhare rehte the n wo like bhi karti thi meine uski frnd list check ki wo new thi fb ek 2 month hue the use id banaake . Fir hamari hii, hello, zyada hone lagi mein bhi usse bht baat karne laga tha but woh sab mere liye sirf time pass tha . Fir 1 month tak hamari baat normal hoti rahi. Uske baad jaane anjaane mein uske close hota gya jab ki woh utni close nahi thi mujhse. Pehle hamara kuch fix timing nahi tha fb ka ab hamara fix timing tha use jab kaam hota ya muje hota to hum ek dusre ko time dedete n wahi time p aake chat karte the mera vacation end hone pe tha n results h.s.c ke aachuke the n mein 67% se paas hogya tha n somaiya college m admission hogya tha jo ki reputed college thi. Lekin hamari chat badti chali gayi ab hum chat p bahot close ho chuke the but as a frrnd. Mein use sirf timepass samajhne ki koshish karta tha . Aur hum ek dusre ki bahot care karne lage mujhe bhi bahot accha lagta tha. Humne kabi ek dusre ko dekha nahi tha meine usse pic upload karne ko kaha n meine bhi apna pic upload kiya. Uska pic bhi dekha to masha_allah bahot achi lag rahi thi. Hamara waqt uhi guzarta gaya n hum ab itne close the ki hum ek dusre ko khud se zyada jaanne lage the.

Mein tabhi bhi ignore karta tha ki ye pyar nahi hai. Kyunki aisa attraction 12 ki picnic m mere saath ek ladki ko lekar ho chuka tha. N meine apna past bhi aaliya se share kiya. Mera first year b.com ka 1s t semester aachuka tha n pehli baar aisa hua hoki koi exam ho aur meine us exam ti tayyari naa ki ho. Meine ye baat aaliya ko batayi. Usne mujh se kaha ki ab exams k baad hi baat karenge. Mujhe pehle thoda ajib laga n meine bhi socha Ki exam mera hai isko kya problem h baat karne me. Well meine apna exams diya padhkar n exam k last din jab meine facebook khola to dekha k uska message tha k “inshaallah aap paas hojaoge n sham me milo” meine kaha k “pehle kyun nahi baat kiye” usne samjhaya k agar hum baat nahi karte to aap concentrate nahi kar paate” meine kaha ok well ab mein aap sabhi ko aaliya k baare me batata hu” aaliya ek ache family ki ladki thi .family me uski mummy, choti behen ,ek bada bhai aur ek badi behen jiski shadi ho chuki thi. Aaliya ke daddy nahi the. Bada bhai job karta tha aur wo chote baccho ko ghar me tution padhati thi aur saath hi saath syb.a sndt college se correspndnce kar rahi thi. Aur wo mujhse 3.5 saal badi thi. Yeh baat hum dono jaante the. Well hum dono ki baate yuhi chalti rahi. Mera results aaya mein sab mein paas tha ye sunkar exitement me mujhse kaha thankyun “jaanu” yeh sunkar mein chaunk gaya lekin mujhe andar se bahot acha laga. Agle message me usne mujhse jaanu kehne k liye sorry kaha n maine kaha its ok aapko kehna hai to kehsakte ho usne nahi kahaa. Meine kuch nahi kaha . Mein ab khud se zyada uski care karta tha kyunki woh khane k maamle m susti karti thi. Aur sab pehle khalete the fir khati thi. Mein bhi usse jhut kehdeta k maine bhi nahi khaya hai tab khati thi. Jab ki sach to yeh hai ki mujhe bhuk bardaasht nahi hoti hai.

Well aise h hume baat kiye 8 month ho chuke the ab hum dono k exams aachuke the uska exam pehla tha mera 20 days baad. Baato mein meine ek din kaha k mujhe aapse phone p baat karni hai usne mera no liya n kaha k first paper k baad wo mujhse phone karegi . Aur meine kaha exam time hum bilkul baat nahi karenge fir b maine kaha aap bus 5 mint k liye phone kar lena. Usne kaha thik hai n exam ka time btaya. Next day mein apne room m jaake 2 bje k baad phone ka wait karne laga. 2.30 bje k karib mera ph bajaa meine dekha unknown no hai meine fauran salaam kiya n usne jawaab diya n masha allah uski awaz bahot pyari thi. Humne karib 10 mint tak baat ki khabar khariyat pucha aur next exam k liye best of luch kaha n kaha k baat karke bahot acha laga. Uske baad wo har exam k baaad college se ghar pahunchne tak baat karti. Ab mein samajh nahi paarahaa tha k yeh pyar hai ya attraction . Well meine kaha jo bhi h thik h. Exam k baad hamari ph p baat nahi hoti thi kyunki wo ghar p baat nahi kar sakti thi. Uski mummy ko love marriage pasand nahi tha. N mein apne ghar me apne daddy se bahot darta tha mere daddy old mind k insan hai. Mera f.y.bcom ki vacation me meine ek call centre joined kiya n kaam karne k wajah se meri aaliya se kam baat hone lagi kyunke mein subha kaam par jata n ni8 me jaldi sojata tha. Vacation khatam hone wala tha meine job chod diya kyunki 2nd year ka college start hone wala tha . Ek din chat p maine aaliya ko propose kardiya waise mein propose karna nahi chahta tha lekin apni feeling rok nahi paya. N uska reply tha i love u 2 but as a frnd meine uski baat samajhli meine ok kahaa n hum abhi bhi bahot acche Freind the. Ek mahine baad aaliya ko apne gaon jaana pada kuch urgency ki wajah s gaon m uski badi sis rehti thi . 15 dino tak hamari koi baat nahi hui n Mein andar se toottaa jaaraha tha fir 15 dino k baad uska phone aya n khabar pucha mein usdin bahut khush tha humne thoda baat kiya fir humne shaam ka time liya chat karne k liye. Chat me n phone pemeri aaliya bahot bechain thi meine reason pucha to usne kaha I LOVE U JAANU ALOT meine kaha kya hua aaliya usne kaha k 15 din mere bina uske life k sabse toughest day the n i love u alot meine kahaa i love u 2 hamesha mein bhi puri tarha se toot chuka tha apke bina. Achanak mere cell ki ghanti baji meine ph upar wale room me jaake uthaya woh ph uska tha jab meine hello kaha to saamne se halka rone ki awaz aarhi thi wo sisak rahi thi meine bhi pehli baar emotional hua n meine phir se i love u kaha n kahaa plz dnt cry. Usne kaha pataa nahi yeh kaise hogaya hamare saath that i love u. Meine use thodi tasalli di n finally uski thodi muskurahat wapas layi;-).

Ab mein bhi usse pyar karne laga tha pata nahi chala yeh sab kaise hogya but meine khuda ka shukra ada kiya ab mein ne facebook p apni ek secret group banayi jisme sirf hum the. Ab tak hum kabhi ek dusre se mile nahi the . Well ek din meine use milne ko kaha usne b kaha use bhi mujhse milnaa h. Hum plan banane lage usne ghar p exam k time table dekhne k liye sndt college jaane ka bahaana kiya hum 10 bje milne wale the usne mujhe santacruz k bus stop p milne ko kaha. Mein b subha 8 bje college gya n ek lecture pehle waha se nikal gya aur 10 bje se pehle stop p pahunch gya mujhe santacruz ka zyada kuch pata nahi tha n milne k liye wo aur uski choti sister aane waali thi uski choti sis mere age ki thi use humdono ke baare m pataa tha . Meine ek din pehle hi apni aaliyaa k liye gift lekar aagya tha n mein stop p khada hogya 10.15 ho rahe the meine saamne wale stop p dkha to ek bus nikalne jaa rhi thi. Meine msg kiya k kaha ho uska reply aya mein bus mein baithne jaarhi hu aap bhi aajao. O teri mein opposite stop p wait kar raha tha. Bus nikalne jaarhi thi mein fauran dauda and chalti bus me chad gaya . Ab us bus m aage k ladies m sab naqab m the mein aage gya n fir piche jaakar baith gya.kyunki sab naqab m the isliye thodi confusion thi. Fir mujhe msg aya k hame sndt college k paas wale stop p utarna hai . Meine reply kiya madam pehle btao to baithe konsi seat p ho fir reply aaya kyun aap nahi pehchaan paaye. Tabhi meine dekha second seat p do girls mujhe h dekhrahe the mein pehchan gya but fir b confusion thi k dono me se hai kaun. After all mein msg kiya k mujhe stop nahi pataa ab aapka kaam h mujhe bus se utarna. Jab stop aya to wo dono piche aye aur ishara kiya aur piche se utarne lage. Finally woh lamha aya jab m apni jaan se mila. N meine dono se handshake kiya fir hum college ki taraf badhe n college m humne 4 ghante saath guzaare wo 4 ghante mere zindagi k sabse khubsurat 4 ghante hai. Hame kaafi late hogya tha ab humne waha se rickshaw kiya aur Station ki aur badh gaye. N jaane ka dil to bilkul bhi nahi tha but majburi thi. Ghar pahunchne par humne ph p baat ki aur hum bahot khush the apni life se. Dusre din jab mein book nikalne k liye bag khola to thoda shocked hua usmein ek chota sa gift box tha n ek letter tha meine jaise hi dekha next lecture class se bahar aagya aur campus m aake gift box khola usmein ek bahot pyara sa specs( chashma) tha aur saath hi meri jaan ka letter tha.

Us letter m bahot kuch aisi baate thi jo hamare liye thi mere aankho se aansu aagye n maine ph kiya k iski kya zarurat thi aur bas i love u babu kaha woh b mujhe reply di n ek flying kis di. Waqt isi tarha guzarta gya. Ek din baato baato me shadi ki baat nikli . Hum dono bahot pareshan hogaye mein bahot depression m aagya kyunki age factor ki wajah se mere daddy kabhi nahi maante the aur uske gharwale b nai ab mera depression usse dekha nahi gya n hum ek dusre s milne k liye bechain the uski mummy kuch kaam ki wajah se bahar gaye the humne juhu m milne ka plan banaya hum santacruz station par mile n waha se choupati gaye rickshey m bus hum dono ek dusre ko dekhe jaarahe the mein uski aankhon m woh dard saaf dekhsakta tha mein uska hath apne hath m liya aur use tasalli di. Hum jaise h juhu pahunche ek shant si jagah par baith gye bahot dur. Ab humne ek dusre se shadi k topic p baat ki aur koi results p hum nahi pahunch paarahe the kyunki yeh humdono k liye bahot mushkil tha aur aaliya kabhi apni mummy ka dil nahi dukhasakti thi. Finally hum is decision p aaye ki jab tak hai tab tak ek dusre ka saath nahi chodenge aur sab kuch upar wale k bharose chod diya n maine kaha jaan aap 3 years wait karlo mein aapke elawa kisi aur ka soch b nai sakta. Usne kaha y mein koshish karungi kyunki sab mummy k hath m hai n daddy k jaane k baad mummy ne hi sab kuch kiya h . Us din se uski izzat meri nazar mein aur badh gyi kyunki meine pehle baar kisi ko dekha tha k familiy k khushi k liye apni khushi kurbaan karna. 4 mahino baad usne bataya k uska rishta uski mummy n gaon mein relative s tay kar diya hai. Aur next month shayad gaon jaarahe hai shadi k liye.

Meine yeh sunte h phone cut kar diya aur phek diya aur letkar bahot roya aisa lagraha tha dil m bahot dard ho raha h lekin meine apni jaanu k baare me nahi socha k uspe kya beet rahi hogi shayad kuch pal k liye mein khudgarz hogya tha. Meine rote hue ph thik kiya aur phone lagaya saamne se choti sister n phone uthaya meine kaha aaliya kaha h use ph do usne kaha jiju baaji ko bht tez bukhar hai aur eyes me infection hogya h abhi ammi doctor k paas lekar gayi h . Isse bura mere saath aur kya hosakta tha mujhe bus apni aaliya se milna tha meine uski sis se kaha k plz jab wo aaye ph karke baat karaane aur fauran apne jiju se bike maangkar uski ghar ki taraf nikal pada badkismati shayad mujhpar haawi thi aur meine bike chalate wapt bike mujhse sleep hogai aur mein bike lekar gir gaya jaha gira waha kuch pehchaan k the unhone foran abba ko phone kiya aur jab mujhe nazdiki Hospital lekar jaya gaya aur mein right side gira tha to right hand s blooding thi aur poora fracture hogya tha aur mera ph b switched off tha aur ghar m tha. Jaise h hosh m pura aya to gharwalo ne pucha to bus meri aankhon se aansu nikal rahe the aur ghar p bataa b nai sakta tha . Meine fauran mobile mangwaya aur mein aaliya ko bataa bhi nai sakta tha ki mera accident hogya aur hospital se mein ghar aane laga mere pure hand m plaster tha. Meine himmat karke ek message kardiya agle din ki mera accidnt hogya h lekin kaha k halka sa hand p chot lagi hai. Doctor n 45 days k baad plaster kholne ko kahaa tha aur mein apni jaan ko dekhne ke liye tadap raha tha tabhi ek ph aya meine recieve kiya ph p uski choti sister thi humne thodi baat ki fir usne phone liya aur meine halki si smile k sath use salam kiya usne bahut baithi awaz me jawab diya n puchne lagi kya hua meine kaha kuch nahi chota sa accidnt hua h usne kuch nahi kaha aisa lagraha tha maano meri aaliya ro rahi thi.

Meine uski tabyat puchi usne kaha sab thik h bus ek tu nahi hai. Mein kuch keh nahi paya. Aur kaha ab ph rakhta hu thodi der k baad baat karta hu. Meri himmat nahi horahi thi ke shadi k baare me puchu k kya hua. Hum sham me chat p mile fb par aur usne kaha bus 1 month hai mere paas aap mujhe apna banakar le jao meine usse kaha mein try karunga n meine kaha aap apni mummy se baat karo to usne kaha aap pehle baat karo aapke gharwale approve karle to hum bhi kuch kar sakte h.mein kaha thik hai. Aur mein apne ghar m eklauta beta hu meri 3 sis h badi sab ki shadi hogai h. Mere daddy yeh sab k khilaf bahot sakht h hamare khandan m ladke ki age zyada ho to chalega but ladki ki zyada nahi honi chahiye. Ab mein bahot gehri soch m tha wajah yeh thi ki meri padhai start thi use khatam hone me ek saal lagta aur naahi mein abhi tak apne pairo par khada tha. To bhi mein apni badi sis k paas gaya aur socha k usko batadu meine kaha k mujhe koi pasand hai itna kehna tha ki usne mujhe chup karaa diya aur kaha abhi yeh sab mat soch padhai karle aur daddy ko pata chalega to bahot bura hoga. Mein zyada idhar udhar bhi nahi kar sakta tha kyunki mere hand pe plaster tha. Apni sis ki baat sunkar mein thoda darr gaya. Meine socha agar sister itna boldi to daddy kya karenge. Mein bus usi k baare me sochta rehta 5 din hogaye the meine un 5 dino m aaliya se zyada baat nahi ki thi aur use plaster k baare m bhi nahi bataya tha. Uske baad jab meine baat ki to usne kaha mummy ne date fix kardiya 1 month baad ka aur gaon jaane ki tayari kar rahi hai aur uski awaz me bahot dard tha aur pucha apne baat ki. Meine kaha ki but koi faayda nahi hua gharwalo ne mame plaster tha jo ki mein aaliya ko nahi batana chahta tha. Fir mein apne aapko rok nahi paya aur Kaha hum milenge bahot jald usne kaha plz zyada der mat karna . Jab se hame shadi ki baat pata chali na wo khushi se baat kar paati thi aur naa mein. Maano hum baat nahi ek dusre ko tasalli de rahe h. Mere ghar m mere relationship k baare m sirf mere ek frnd ko pata tha aur thoda bahot badi sis ko. Woh roz kehti thi kab miloge aur mera yahi jawab aya bahut jaldi. Din beet ta gaya aur ab uske gaon jaane me 2 din bache the aur mere plaster ko abhi bhi time tha khulne ko. Finally meine haa kaha aur kal milne ka plan bnaya wahi jaha pehli baar mile the college me kyunki use college se LC lene jaana tha. Jaise hi hamne ek dusre ko dekha bina kisi ki parwaah kiye ek dusre ko hug kiya. Usne plaster dekha aur uske aankhon se aansu nikal rahe the.

Meine uska aansu pocha aur use accident k baare me bataya aur maafi bhi maangi aur usne mere muh p haath rakh diya aur kaha plz nafis aap maafi mat maango. Mein har ek pal usdin apni aaliya k sath jina chahta tha. Aur us din mein aaliya ke liye koi gift bhi nahi le jaa sakaa. Humne college se L.C liya aur waha se nikalkar campus me baith gaye. Hum bus us din ek dusre ko dekh hi rahe the aur uske aansu band bhi nahi horahe the mein usko manaya tab jaake uske aansu ruke aur shayad mein bhi ro raha tha. Aur usne kaha aap kabhi mat rona n ammi abba ka khayal rakhna aur career p dhyan dena aur ty mein acche % se paas hona yeh uska sabse bada gift hoga aur sath hi me usne apne bag se ek chota sa gift box diya. Mein bus uski baat sunta jaa raha tha aur kuch mere muh se nikal hi nahi raha tha aur use hi dekh raha tha aur soch raha tha yeh waqt yahi ruk jaaye. Aur meine uska hath pakda aur apne sir pir rakha aur kasam khane ko kaha k wo b khush rahe usne kasam nahi khaya but promise ki k try karungi jine ki. Waqt zyada hogya tha uske ghar se phone aaraha tha. Ab hamare bichadne ka waqt aaya aur humare aankho me sirf aansu the. Meine use station tak choda aur hum waha se alag hue aur ph p baate kar ne lage waise sirf phone ki line shuru thi naa wo kuch keh paa rahi thi aur naa mein. Hum aisehi ghar pahunche gaye. Hum dono apna dard ghar par chupa rakhe the sirf uski choti sister ko pata tha mera to wo haal tha ki kisi ko bataat bhi nahi sakta tha bus apne room me leta rehta aur rota rehta. Jab use jaane ka din aaya usne kaha k aakhri baar wo mujhe dekhna chahti h aur borivali station p bulaya tha lekin uski train subha 7 baje ki thi. Meine kaha thik h mein ajaunga. Lekin mein kaise jaapaata kyunki upar m sota tha aur jaane k liye 5.30 ko mujhe ghar p nikalna padta lekin daddy niche sote the unse kya kehta itni subah kaha jaa raha hu kyunki utne time thoda andhera bhi rehta tha. Mein nahi jaapaya aur shayad woh mere life ki ek badi galti thi. Uske baad se meine aaliya ke no p phone b lagaya aur uske mummy k no p bhi but sab switched of the. Meine fauran fb khola to dekha uska message tha k jaanu aap nahi aaye apko dekhna tha aur mis u n love u aur jaldhi milenge fb p aisa message tha. Meine socha gaon pahunchkar. Wo message karegi but agle 15 din tak har pal uski yaad aur next message ka wait kar raha tha 16 days k baad usne post kiya hamare group me jisme likha tha “JAANU HAMARE SAATH AISA KYUN HUA” mera reply tha shayad iska jawab mere paas bhi nahi aur uska comment aya k jald baat karenge agle 1 mahine tak na koi message aur naa koi call aya aur mein puri tarah toot chuka tha aur 3rd semester me mein 4 subject me fail hogya tha aur bahot smoking karne laga tha fir meine uske ghar ka no try kiya uski choti sister ne phone uthaya aur meine pucha to kaha k kuch der k baad apko ph karti hu kyunke ghar p mummy thi. Phir kuch der intezar karne k baad uska ph aya n meine cut karke khud kiya. Aur haal chaal puchne lagaa usne kaha sab thik h n aaliya k baare m pucha to usne bataya wo gaon m hai aur zyada kuch nahi bataya aur kaha ye 9 ko wo mumbai aarahi hai. Meine ph cut kiya aur muje re exams dene the sab paper ke mein uski tayari karne laga kyunki mujhe uski har khwaish puri karna chahta tha jo jo usne kaha tha aur 9 ka wait karne lagaa. 9 ko bhi koi phone nahi aya meine 15 tak wait kiya aur jab exam deke ghar aaraha tha tak ph p uski mummy k no se missed call aya tha . Meine fauran ph kiya usne salam kiya n maine jawab diya aur wo khamosh hogai fir meine pucha kaisi ho to usne kaha thik hu aur aap kaise ho. Apni jaan ki baat sunkar mujhe aisa laga k jaise wo meri aaliyaa hai hi nahi. Hamare paas baat karne ke liye kuch tha hi nahi kyunki ab hamare bich shayad kuch nahi baaki tha. Usne bhi mummy daddy n sabki khabar puchi aur meine jawab diya usne kaha ek hafte k liye mumbai aayi hu aur saath me wo b aaye hai. Mein zyada kuch nahi kehpaya aur bus ph rakhte waqt mis u kaha n uska reply aya k aur kuch nahi kehna h aur meine kaha k shayad ab mera hak nahi h wo kehne ka. Aur mujhe lag raha tha wo ro rahi thi meine kaha k aap ro rahe ho usne kaha nahi aur kaha k ab wo ph rakhti h fir kbi karegi. Humne phone rakh diya. 5 din baad fir uska phone aya aur shayad wo hamara last phone call tha usne mujhse bahot normal behaviour k saath baat ki aur mujhe fir se bht samjhaya jo pehle samjha chuki thi. Humne thoda baat kiya aur usne kaha subha wo hamesha k liye shayad gaon jaarahi h. Aur usne rote rote i love u kaha aur meine jawab diya phir usne alla hafiz kehkar phone cut kar diya. Us din k baad aaj 4 month hogaye h aur hamari koi baat nahi hui kabhi mahine me ek baar uske ghar phone karke choti sister s baat karke uski khabar khariyat puchleta hu aur wo meri lekin uska jawaab har baar yahi rehta hai k baaji bahot khush h aur thik hai ek din meine usd use uski baaji ki kasam di ki k kyun uska jawab yahi rehta h k baaji khush h to usne bataya k shadi se pehle kahi ki jab bhi nafis ka phone aaye to yahi kehna aur usne fir bi yahi kaha k thik h aur khush h meine b use kasam di k kabhi aaliya ko ye mat batana k m tumhe ph karta hu aur uske baare m puch ta hu… Dosto aaj 4 month hogaye aur aaj bhi mein har subha apna cell p ek baar msg ya fb check kar leta hu k koi to. Message aaye aur mein aaj bhi pachta raha hu k kaash mein us waqt nai darta aur ghar p baat ki hoti to aur aaj meri life kuch aur hoti.. Y jo maine apne baare m bataya hai iska sirf ek h maksad h aap mere jaisi galti mat karna. Mein har din har pal pachta raha hu aur use hi yaad karta hu. AND I LOVE U SHONA SO MUCH . Ab life ka ek h maksad h jo usne kaha tha use pura karna aur un yaadon k sahare mein apni puri life bitaa sakta hu. Aur maafi chahunga dosto agar mere likhne me kuch galti hogai hoto. Bus itna aim hai ki aap wo galti mat karna.aur ha meri aaliya k liye plz dua karna wo jaha bhi rahe khush rahe aur mujhe bhul jaye”. Good bye .allah hafiz

relationships in india

2019-04-03T05:07:00.001-07:00

Q: What are Indian couples today facing problems with?

1.if a parson dating some one then other peoples start back bitching ,spread rumors and some of fuck boys start trouble them.

2.here some of parents and family members are also not broad minded or we can say that supported towards relationships and this is one of the big disadvantage because children cannot share there problems with them.

3.lack of guidence about relationship maintainence .

4.wierd behaviour of society and friends .

5.lack of money and self dependency .

6.lack of trust.

7.castism (jaativad)..ex: if couple belongs from different different religion ,they got abused and in some cases they got killed.

8.mostly indian boys are chat with western girls on social apps ,they prefer to talk with more girls(ek se mann nhi bharta) .like boys are so imaginory for them relations are made just to do sex ,they thought first fuck her then, judge her, fuck her more if she denies then blame her and leave her.this is why indian girls have trust issues more than others.

9.unsecure working place ,in india there is some places where girls are working under pressure they are forced by owner for making relations and they do for earning money.

10.here people thought that if someone denies your proposal force her, black mail her, in some cases abuse her .mean due to corruption everything is possible overhere like girls are getting raped ,beaten,scolded, domestic issues etc..

11.here some of hotels used hidden cameras to record private moments of couples and then sell it or blackmail them.

12.here everything is possible to do with money because of curruption even murder of rape so couple feels unsafe here in parks .

13.now talk about gold digger girls or fuck womens yes they are very danger creature on earth (lol) ,boys are not always wrong girls too, nowadays girls hangout with their partner,give him time,attention, love untill he has money. if he don't spend money then they leave her and find someone else to fullfill their desires.in these kind of cases boys suffer through trauma ,dippression and anxiety problems which also leads them to drugs and suicide so please be careful ..

14.here some women's husband working outside the city of country they started dating a guy who is younger then them (big age difference). they give him money hangout and spent good time with them and after a short or long time they leave him ..which also causes problems with boys.

15. In society there is no equal rights to men and women , men are taking advantages of there powers and women are doing whatever they want beacause of unequality ..suppose(agar koi ladka ladki k saath sex krk chord deta h to log kahenge arey ladke to ese hi hote h let it be or agar wahi ladki esa kre to usko prostitute declair krdeti h society).

same with girls(ladka galti krde agar shaadi k baad ya usse pehle to ladki chahe sahi ho ya galat police case lgaake uske ghar tak ko jail kraa skti h but a men cannot have these right) these are also because of corruption beacuse some currupted cops don't do survey untill they got money.

hey every one i am not against any gender but truth is truth no one can change it ..if you like this post pls comment if something bad happend to you then tell me in comment box ,i will publish your story to aware the society.

Difference Between A Good Guy And A Fuckboy

2019-04-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

14 Ways To Tell The Difference Between A Good Guy And A Fuckboy

1. “One makes you feel special; the other makes you feel used.”

2. “The fuckboy is fun. The good guy pays the bills.”

3. “Good guy won’t play with your feelings; fuckboy likes to string u along.”

4. “Easy….don’t sleep with him right away when he advances and instead try to get to know him better for a few weeks….SEE WHAT HAPPENS.”

5. “Women don’t like ‘good guys,’ lol. Women love chaos & excitement until their mid-30s, five kids and two abusive relationships later. Then suddenly they want that guy who’s ‘boring’ & doesn’t have children out of wedlock.”

6. “A good guy is God-conscious: He prays, loves children, gives charity, forgive, and is willing to wait when you are ready to have sex with him, even until marriage.”

7. “Of course, then there are also the gals who settle down with the boring stable guy from the get-go only to see that guy later turn into one of the chaotic assholes after life gets too good and comfortable and a couple of kids are already in the picture. I see that a lot, too.”

8. “Just wanna say a fuckboy can be a good guy but just not ready for or wanting any kind of commitment apart from a booty call after 9pm—slut’s hours—a good guy will make his intentions known from the get-go. I wouldn’t recommended hightailing it home with any guy, as they’re more likely to never see you again afterwards. A good guy to date actually will go out of his way to see you and find out about you. He will treat his mum with respect; his friends too. He can show gentleness with you and be able to be vulnerable with you. He will be honest and open with you, he will happily introduce you to his friends and family, be supportive of your goals and ambitions….he sticks around and keeps coming back.”

9. “Don’t be foolish. Whomever you are that’s asking, you already know. Everyone always knows. Your instincts… your ‘gut’ will *always* warn you, via doubt, and hesitation, and hurt, and resentment. *Everybody* **ALWAYS** knows… they just use their cleverness to talk themselves around/out-of what they know is bad for them…because they’re trying to ‘fix’ their loneliness, or their anxiety, or some unresolved issue from childhood with artificially imposed justifications/excuses. *Trust* your gut. Your *mind* has only had however many years old you are to figure shit out, but your instincts have—literally—*millions* of years of experience saving you from predators and other dangers.”

10. “My good guy looked at me like I was every bit the terrible monster I am instead of like I was a piece of meat. Therefore, he does not need to know first hand what a she-demon straight from hell I am.”

11. “One’s a narcissist and the other isn’t. But everyone has their own issues you’ll have to deal with. It Just depends on who you want to invest your time in.”

12. “Good guys are those men that stood up on what they believe that is right even though it suck on the side of who they like or their partner.. F***boys agree and agree even though its not good for their partner, they always side on their girl or partner even if its wrong.”

13. “F-boy will ask for sex within weeks. Good guys will ask after a year (after fancy dinners). In the of the day both will eventually ask, trust no man.”

“14. You can’t always tell at the beginning. Time will tell when you’re in some kind of relationship with them, and you must have the courage to let them go when you realize that they are. Sometimes we meet somebody that we feel are good, but we aren’t attracted to (not because they’re good) because they don’t possess superficialities that evoke sexual desire

how to move on after break up

2019-04-02T09:49:00.001-07:00

Steps You Can Follow To Heal Your Break Up.

1. Cut all the contact.

Why?

This honestly is rule #1 in a break up. Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call. You should probably take them off your Facebook or any other social networks while you’re at it. This doesn’t have to be permanent but while you’re vulnerable to any mean or, in contrast – loving words, it’s best not to have their voice in your head. The risk of getting back into a relationship when it wasn’t working is high. You may also end up in a war of words causing further hurt and anxiety. Cutting the ties for good when it’s over puts you on a faster path to healing.

Try this:

Set up an “Emergency Contact List” that contains all your BFFs’ phone number, when you are tempted to call your Ex and beg for a return relationship, call and talk to your friends instead.
Pick an activity that you can do to replace the desire of texting/calling/stalking your ex, something handy you can do right away like watch your favorite Netflix show or walk around your favoruite local stores.

2. Let Your Emotions Out.

Why?

Cry, sob your eyes out, scream and yell. As long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or anybody else, find ways to release and let go of the pain you may be feeling. When people kindly and humorously tell you all break ups are hard, it’s because they are. Don’t take this part of the healing process away from yourself or it will grow and fester within you. You will naturally feel some negative emotions no matter how easy or hard your break up was. Honor your feelings and know that they will get less intense the more that you let them out. It helps you move past them!

Try this:

Listen to sad songs. Research shows that listening to sad songs actually can make us happier. Listening to sad songs can regulate negative emotion and mood as well as consolation. Here we have a playlist consist of sad song for you to listen to if you need a good cry. Find a quiet place, let your emotions run, and give yourself some relief.

3. Accept the fact that it’s over, at least for now.

Why?

Coping with the end of a relationship is a little bit like a 12 step program. You will reach acceptance far sooner by staying away from that person. This strategy relies on time more than anything else but there are ways to move it along. Try to look at the situation objectively, even if you didn’t agree to the breakup. Don’t over-analyze what could have been different. There are infinite should-haves and could-haves, and thinking about them will cause you to spiral. In the moments you were in the relationship, that’s when your actions mattered. They don’t anymore. Your mission now is to get to the place where you aren’t battling with yourself about the way things are. Do this with compassion and don’t beat yourself up. It may take some time for the heart to catch up with reality but in the meantime, accept that the relationship has ended.

Try this:

Tell yourself it’s over now and it’s time to move on and start a new chapter of your life.
Tidy up all the things that would recall your memories with your ex. Make things out of sight, out of mind.
Talk to your family and friends because sometimes it’s hard to see a bigger picture when you are stuck in the situation.

4. Find Yourself

Why?

Chances are, you lost a piece of yourself in the relationship. Now is your chance to find you again and this can be fun. This is one of the positives to your break up, so embrace it! Maybe you let go of a hobby you used to love to do or stopped taking scented baths. You can eat salad and granola bars for dinner if you feel like it. There are a lot of personal things that made you special, you just have to find them again and get the feeling back. Alternatively, you may have grown in the relationship which means you can discover new things about yourself.

Try this:

Have a mindful conversation with yourself and do an in-depth discovery into your inner-self.Asking reflective questions can help you find out more about yourself and what you truly want to be.
Possible questions you can ask:
1. If “love myself more” has the top priority in my life, will I still do what I am doing now?
2. What do I appreciate myself the most?
3. How was my life before the relationship?
4. What do I want to achieve in my life and how should I start?
5. What is the most important thing I should improve?

The journey to find yourself is hard because most of us don’t even have time to just sit down and think what we actually want. It can be a long journey but you can take your time to do so because it’s so worth it!

5. Explore and Have Fun

Why?

When you’re ready to authentically have fun again, get your girlfriends together and go out. Go dancing, go shopping, go on a roller coaster. Do something that makes you smile, laugh and feel good inside. I once went to a haunted house where things jumped out at me and scared me half to death. This was so therapeutic. Be spontaneous and silly. Enjoy your life.

Try this:

Something new and exciting that you always wanted to do alone
Spend quality time with your friends and family
Reconnect with long-lost friends
Explore and develop new habits, learning a new language is a good option!

6. Pay Attention to Your Thoughts

Why?

As you look to move forward in your life, don’t deny or grasp on to your ex’s memory. They may pop into your mind as a memory of a moment where you were happy (or not). Acknowledge it, smile or cry. Let the memory go instead of clinging onto it. Don’t intentionally look at pictures or look at old texts you got from him. It’s now about you and your present moments. Your ex is a part of the person you are today and you can be grateful to them for that, but the chapter with them is gone.

Try this:

As mentioned before, CLEAR OUT all the things that stimulate memories
Don’t try to escape from your feelings. Face them. Write down how you feel to help you declutter your mind. The more you write, the more you can identify what trigger your emotion and you can get better prepare for them.

7. Understand the beauty of being single and don’t rush into another relationship.

Why?

Don’t bounce into another relationship too quickly, thinking that you’re okay. It is probably the best quick fix out there but at the same time, you never really get over your ex. In the long run you haven’t actually gotten over your ex and when your next relationship ends, you’ll have two ex’s to get over. You’re just prolonging the inevitable pain.

Try this:

Ask yourself what kind of relationship you want. Understanding your need before entering a relationship is key because this can save you from another heart break.
Explore and meet new people when you are ready. Make sure you talk to them, take your time to get to know them before taking the move to start a new relationship.

8. Develop a mindful life.

Why?

It’s good to slowly and gradually develop a mindful life so your mind can stay peaceful and calm no matter what life throws you. Being mindful means you listen to yourself more and acknowledge your neemost importantly, understand what can make you happy.

Try this:

Here we have an infographic on how to start planning a mindful life. This beginner routine focus on living simple and slow and how to connect your mind and body. I suggest that you can add 10 minutes of meditation before bed just to clear out all the unncessary feelings and thoughts so you can get a better sleep!

before and after relationship

2019-04-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Don't Start A New Relationship Until You've Done These 4 Things

A truly loving, committed relationship is about sharing life experiences, learning and growing with someone who is self-aware and free of the "pull" of past hurts, and being open and willing to doing the work it takes to create and exist in a safe, drama-free space together.

To reach this place, we must first commit to learning the lessons we have to learn on our own. That's the only way to escape the ending of our last failed relationship. Dig in the dirt. Let yourself fall apart and know that it’s OK not to be OK for a while—maybe for a long time. The grieving process can be lengthy and painful. But there is so much necessary growth waiting for you in the time after a breakup. You can't skip the hard part and go right to Phase 2. This is the task you have to complete before leveling up.

2. Love yourself more than you ever thought possible.

You’ve heard the sentence "No one will ever be able to love you more than you love yourself." Take it from me: This is 100 percent true 100 percent of the time. We attract people who will treat us only as well as we treat ourselves. If we believe ourselves to be unworthy or unlovable at a deep level, no matter how pretty the package of our prospective partner, we see them as our salvation only because we know little enough about them that we can project our own ideals onto them. Over time they will begin to reflect our own limitations and flaws.

Self-love needs to happen consistently on the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional levels.

Physical self-love:

Begin by listening to, then responding to and respecting the needs of the body. Create a nurturing inner sanctuary where you feel safe. Learn what your body requires through exercise, diet, and rest to maintain balance. Commit to giving it the nutrients that it needs to thrive.

Mental self-love:

Kick out the roommate in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, beautiful/handsome enough, young enough, or wealthy enough to have a wonderful, loving, and supportive partnership. Replace self-deprecating thoughts with thoughts that affirm your wholeness, such as, "I am awesome and deserve someone who knows my worth," or "I am completely lovable just the way I am," and "I am deserving of great love."

No matter what happened with your ex, you have the power to rewrite the conversations that affirm the truth of who you are.

Emotional self-love:

Bring deep self-compassion and kindness to your wounds. Understand how you contributed to the relationship's dissolution. Examine the pain that arises from your childhood. Get therapy or divorce coaching.

Spiritual self-love:

Develop and maintain a deeper connection to your spirit by recognizing and honoring the voice of your intuition. This can be accomplished through meditation, journaling, and spending quiet moments in nature.

This inner guidance will let you know when you are truly ready for a relationship and whether someone you meet is right or wrong for you.

Create the life of your dreams by connecting to a vision that reflects your worthiness and lovability. Know your passions. Find confidence in your purpose. Make a commitment to follow those passions, no matter what (or who) comes along.

Committing to self-love and our life’s work before committing to a romantic relationship is the key to fulfillment and wholeness. When we commit to a life of service to ourselves and others, we have made the vows that must precede (and that enable) a commitment to another person.

3. Learn what a healthy relationship looks like, and take your time.

After being married or in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to idealize the next person you date. Because we have already been deeply connected to—or maybe married and had children with—our past partner, we may easily project scenarios onto people we have just met, fantasizing about the role they will play in our lives without knowing much about them.

But the truth about dating after a breakup is that the real measure of an appropriate and desirable partner goes well beyond whether or not they will be able to fit into the same role as an ex. It's about knowing who we are and what we want and then truly getting to know someone over time.

There are wonderful resources that can help clarify what a healthy relationship requires. Commit to the process of understanding what it takes to communicate and build a solid structure for a relationship before jumping in.

Healthy relationships start off slow—as friendships. Commitment, then intimacy, comes only after a physical, mental, and emotional connection has been made and consistently demonstrated over time.

When you love yourself, you can be open to many alternate resources for creativity and love and support. That allows you to avoid relying on a partner to give you something you lack. Even if you were in a codependent or unhealthy relationship, you can—and will—change these patterns by honoring yourself, knowing and sticking to your standards, and requiring (in a healthy and loving way) that others love and honor you as much as you love you.

4. Have fun.

When you do decide to date again, approach it as an adventure rather than a burden. Prepare yourself as much as possible, then let go, have fun, and trust the process.
You get to choose whether you will date a little or a lot. Learn what you might want in a future partner by meeting people and having fun. More than anything, dating is an opportunity to be exposed to new thoughts, environments, and lifestyles.
In asking and responding to questions about one another’s lives and core values, we create the opportunity to authentically communicate about ourselves with others. We can approach dating as a fun challenge. How can we get to know what really makes the other person tick?
Most importantly, we can enjoy the process of noting how we feel when we are around this person. Is there a lightness and joy or an anxious pit in our stomachs? Is there ease or awkwardness? Are there feelings that something is just "not right"? Practice nonattachment, rely on your personal support system, and stay curious about other people's worlds. Learning how they fit in with yours can be a joyful process rather than a painful one.
Now, after three years of healing from divorce and casually dating, I'm in a new relationship. I can attest to the fact that entering into a long-term commitment isn’t the endgame—it’s just the beginning. It will bring up our vulnerabilities and fears like nothing else can. When we enter the arena with an arsenal of self-love, high standards, and an understanding of the process, we can create and enjoy the ride of a relationship at a much deeper level

how to ask for sex in a relationship

2019-04-02T09:33:00.003-07:00

Talk about intimacy before you get to the bedroom, if possible. Bringing up sex ahead of time can help you and the person you’re into become more comfortable with each other. If you’re seeing someone, ask them about the right time to take things to the next level, how they feel about sex, and about their likes and dislikes.

Try asking, “When do you think is the right time for couples to start having sex? We should have a talk about when the right time for us will be.”
If you’re not dating the person you’re into, you might not have the opportunity to have a conversation in advance. Before going all the way, be sure to get clear consent and discuss safe sex options.

Bring up sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment. Make sure you and your potential partner have privacy when you ask them if they’re interested. Help them feel safe and comfortable, and try to read their body language to ensure they feel at ease.

You don’t necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a room with the door closed. You might be on a date at a restaurant or other public place when you bring up having sex.
Be mindful of those around you. Don’t ask your partner about sex when lots of people are within earshot. You don’t want to put them on the spot or embarrass them.

Be honest about how your potential partner makes you feel. Be straight-forward, warm, and polite, and don’t try to put on an act or drop cheesy pick up lines. Just be yourself and tell the person you’re into how you feel. Let them know you find them attractive, but make sure any compliments you offer are sincere.

Try saying, “When we kiss, I feel like electricity’s running through my body. I don’t mean to put on any pressure or anything, but I’d really like to take things to the next level.”
Be courteous and respectful. Don't go into a vivid description of what you want to do with them. If they aren't ready for sex, this could put them off.

Try to keep the conversation light-hearted. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be super serious. It’s one thing if you’re talking about a serious topic, like a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). However, if you’re talking about what turns you on or telling someone you want to have sex, try to be playful or joke around to keep things relaxed.

It’s okay to be nervous, and having a sense of humor about your nerves can help put you at ease. If you get tongue-tied, try brushing it off with, “Geez, I sound like Google translate gone wrong,” or just be honest and say, “Sorry I’m a little nervous. Let me start over.
A little laughter can release nervous energy. However, self-deprecating humor can kill the mood, so go easy on making fun of yourself.

Check in with your partner when you’re fooling around. If you’re already fooling around, read the situation and make sure they’re into it before trying to go further. If they don’t seem enthusiastic about kissing and touching, back off and check in with them.

In the heat of the moment, you could say, “You’re such an amazing kisser, and you turn me on so much. Do you want to take this further?”
You could also try asking, “Should we head to the bedroom?” or “Can I touch you here?”
If you don’t think they’re into it, stop and ask, “Is everything alright? We can stop if this is going too fast.”

ASKING ABOUT LIKES AND DISLIKES.

Joke around about pleasing them to break the ice. Let them know you want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. You don’t have to get awkward and directly ask, “What ways do you like having sex?” Instead, express that you care about their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in an appealing, relaxed way.

While it’s helpful to talk about likes and dislikes ahead of time, talking about turn-ons can also be really sexy in the moment. Say something like, “So where’s your favorite spot to be kissed?” or “Tell me about something you’ve always wanted to try in bed.

Let them know you won’t judge them. Asking someone what they enjoy sexually or what they fantasize about puts them in a vulnerable position. Let them know that they can trust you and that you won’t laugh at them or judge them.

Confiding something about yourself first can help them feel more at ease with you. Try telling them how you like to be touched or a position that you enjoy.
Talking about preferences in advance can make sex more enjoyable, but you don’t need to go overboard and make each other uncomfortable. You and the person you’re into don’t have to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don’t know each other very well.

Mention what you like, but don’t brag about your sexual exploits. It’s one thing to say that you like having your ear nibbled on or neck kissed. However, don’t go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests.

No one wants to hear all about the last person their date slept with, and bragging about sex is a major mood killer.
You can say "I like kisses on my neck," but don't say "Man, it really turned me on when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and gave me hickies.".

Ask about what they don’t like. You don’t want to make turn-offs the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more fun and less awkward if you know that a spot is extra sensitive or a position is uncomfortable for your partner.

While it's good to check in now and then, asking, “Are you alright?” every 30 seconds is a turn-off. Be attentive to their body language, and try to stay in the moment instead of overthinking things.

TALKING ABOUT SEX

Make sure your partner gives their consent. Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. If they seem uncomfortable or aren’t sure about having sex, don’t try to pressure them. Respect their decision if the answer is no, and don’t ask for an explanation.

They might want to kiss or touch, but that doesn’t mean they want to have sex.
They also have the right to change their mind and stop if they become uncomfortable at any point.

Try to bring up sexual health before you get physical. Talking about STIs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it’s a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they’ve been tested within the last 6 months, and inform them about your sexual health in advance.

It’s best to talk about sexual health when you and your partner are thinking clearly. You’re less likely to make informed decisions in the heat of the moment.
If you’re already fooling around and haven’t had the conversation, don’t feel bad about looking out for your health. If they’re sexually active and haven’t been tested recently, your best bet is to cool things off until they’ve been screened.

Ask what kind of contraception they prefer to use. Always practice safe sex, even if you and your partner have been screened and tested negative for STIs. If you don’t have protection on hand, say, “This is really hot, and as much as I hate to stop, we should cool things off until we have a condom.

Talking about safe sex doesn’t have to be a turn-off. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if they like flavored or textured varieties.
Try to be positive when you bring up safe sex. Mention that using protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it like you need to protect yourself from them.