All Hail Suburbia

Moving On Up

2005-12-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

BORING HOUSEKEEPING ENTRY

I've just put together a new blog at our personal website. From now on, I'll post at:

All Hail Suburbia

But I'm going to leave this here for a while until I can get all the posts moved over and links updated and so forth.

Hope you'll come visit me in my new home!

Merry, merry....

2005-12-25T11:33:00.000-08:00

Whatever you are celebrating this time of year -- or if you're just having a good day -- merry, merry to you!

Papa heartily agrees.

Abby was more like, "meh". But, then, I did just accidently come too close to her with the office chair. I tried to make it up with a catnip mousie, but. . . meh.

Cheers!

Bride of Frankenkitty and other junk.

2005-12-21T22:42:00.000-08:00

This is Abby. Isn't she cute? This is about as close as you want to get to Abby. She sometimes scratches. She'd bite you, but she has very few teeth.

We need to introduce Abby to Papa. They're both maybe 15 (?) years old and pretty set in their ways. Abby's been a solitary housecat for lo these many years and Papa's been out rumbling in the street.

It's like West Side Story!

Wait. Is it? Abby would have to be in a gang too. No, that doesn't work. It's more of a scrappy Romeo and Juliet, if Juliet looked at Romeo like... "fool".

Anyway, Papa is funny. We open the door a crack and let them see each other. He just kind of bats his big blue eyes at her while she hisses and spits, then he turns and ambles away, purring as he goes.

Mr. W thinks Papa might go all Pepé Le Pew on her, so if we catch him painting himself calico, we'll totally know what he's up to. So, right, wish us luck. I think we might need it.

__________

I like Madonna's new song Hung Up (*dances around empty office*), but what's with the Matrix Rave Scene in the middle of the video?
__________

Seen: Motorcycle cop - 'scuse me - police officer, with a stuffed Grinch doll tied to his seat. That sends a message, does it not?

__________

I'm excited for Christmas. The Detroit contingent made it out here just fine and we're just going to hang around with people and visit for three days.

__________

Question of the day: What you gon' do with all that junk inside your trunk?

. . . there. If that doesn't get the keyword searchers here, I'm just going to give up on them.

Want some cake?

2005-12-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

I. . . have . . . a . . . husband.

You could knock me over with a feather. In a totally good way.

I think I'll go call my husband now. I need to make sure he saves me some of that leftover cake. Because. . . well, it's cake!

A husband. Dang.

This just in...

2005-12-15T11:25:00.000-08:00

We need lots of warm snow-melty vibes directed towards Detroit. Okay? Thanks.

Memememe. Ahem. ME!

2005-12-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

So. Mr. Wolf and I are getting married on Saturday. It's kind of strange to have this feeling of the whole world revolving around ME -- I mean US -- for the last couple of weeks. Everything is "wedding, this" and "wedding, that" and "fanny fanny boo boo".

I admit it, I made up that last one to see if you were paying attention.

(Paying attention to MEEEEEE!)

There's also this sort of feeling like we're having a barn raising and then afterwards, the womenfolk will serve apple pie. Well, okay, maybe not so much exactly like that. But it's just that so many people are donating things to help make it go smoothly. . . chafing dishes, space heaters, canopies, dog-sitting services. It's like that time Ned's house burned down and we built him a new one, only it was all tiny inside and the toilet was in the kitchen.

Ohhh, wait, that was an episode of The Simpsons. Never mind.

Blaze of . . . glory?

2005-12-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

See this?

This is the home of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). They call this location, in Costa Mesa, CA, "Trinity City International". It boasts a virtual reality theater with a 48-channel sound system, a recreation of the Via Dolorosa, a 15-foot-high statue of Michael the Archangel, a television studio, and Jan Crouch's hair.

Well, she's gotta keep it somewhere.

Anyway, I can usually avoid TBN, insidious as it is, but it's the lights that get to me. One million lights. So garish, so obnoxious, so loud. These things scream, they're so bright. TBN turned on the lights in the late 90's and they've stayed on through looooong Christmas seasons and even through our electricity shortage -- rolling blackouts be damned! I mean, praised! Or something, whatever.

I found a quote from a TBN spokesman on Rick Ross' site that had me rolling: "They barely shine," said TBN spokesman Colby May. "They are simply firefly-in-the-night type of lights."

Barely shine, folks. When I get my camera back, I'm going over there to take a picture that you'll be able to blow up and see just how much one million white lights "barely shine".

TBN, through all its various tentacles, exhorts each and every one of us to send money in the name of Jesus. Lots and lots of money. Obviously people do, many who can least afford it. And this.... THIS monstrosity is what some of it is spent on. This and the velvet couches and marble and luxurious furnishings and houses and cars and jets and fine meals and Jan Crouch's hair.

Anyway. I wish they'd turn down the lights. I think stars in the sky might be a bit more representative of God, but WE CAN'T SEE the stars because of all the light pollution.

Would Jesus Pollute (WJP)?

Would Jesus know what that hideous glare off the 405 was?

The photo is from TBN's site, which you'll have to find on your own.
Don't fret, it's easy.

Frankenkitty

2005-12-01T20:52:00.000-08:00

Meet Papa.

Papa's wearing a cone around his neck. Papa is living in our bathroom and wearing a cone around his neck. Papa gets antibotics crushed up and put in his food while he wears a cone around his neck.

Know why? Neither do we, completely, but I suspect that Papa met a possum.

Ready for the graphic photo of Frankenkitty? I'll try to give you some scrolling space. I'll make it a small picture. You'll find it at the bottom of this entry.

Because, yuck.

This cat is THE biggest love. Total lap junkie. He's one of those neighborhood strays that has lived in the Wolf family's neighborhood for well over 12 years. He's always been a bit of a bruiser, but I'd say he met his match recently.

Anyway, we got him stitched up and, like I said, he's living in our bathroom for the next couple of weeks. We're trying to figure out a way to make him an indoor cat for someone. I'm secretly hoping the vet will fall in love with him and take him on as another office cat. I'd take him to my office, but a couple of my co-workers hate cats. Whatever, Grinches.

Okay. Start scrolling. . .

Poor Frankenkitty. I love him.

P.S. Still using a borrowed camera. Sorry for the lousy quality of these.

World AIDS Day

2005-12-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

Awareness and education.
Awareness and education.
Awareness and education.

Bear with me here, I have a theme brewing.

Awareness and education.
Awareness and education.
Awareness and education.

If you're in Los Angeles, there's a candlelight vigil tonight.

2005-11-30T12:45:00.000-08:00

A friend read the entry below and then said to me that Hildi must have paid them a visit with her glue gun.

Man, I wish I'd thought of that line.

Hm. I just read Hildi's bio on the Trading Spaces site. What would a bathroom covered in 6,000 silk flowers look like? All I can think is that if a My Little Pony were to sneeze, it might look a bit like that.

Do not fear The Orange.

2005-11-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

On Monday, I turned thirty-five. On Tuesday, I went and got a hugely fake tan.

It's the kind of tan they spray on you, out of a lawn fertilizer-looking container. Now, me, I'm white. Whiter than white. I'm kind of clear, actually, so I was actively fearing The Orange. I did not feel that Ooompa Loompa would be a good look for me.

My friend and I got a wild hair while we were at a bridal show and purchased these package deals from a local salon. We arrived for our appointments and discovered that the walls in the reception area were covered in fake fur.

Oh my.

Actually, what happened was that I was late, and my friend went in ahead and got sprayed. That's what they say there. "So-and-so is in spraying a client." Kinky. Then I was shown into a room next to her and I foolishly asked through the curtain, "well, what do you think?"

"I'm reserving judgment."

Save me, Jeebus. I haven't even kicked off my shoes yet and she's reserving judgment. Did I mention my fish-belly white complexion? She, on the other hand, is a gorgeous peaches and cream (I am not envious, shut up). And she's reserving judgment.

Eeep.

So the woman from the salon does her thing, which is to spray me from head to foot with a fine mist of powdered Ooompa Loompa and then leaves me there to dry. Man, if you're not careful, this stuff gets damn near everywhere. Like up my nose, for example. I guess I should have snuggled up to the fur wall before getting the tan.

This solution gets darker and darker as the evening wears on. She told us this would happen. I'm not worried. I'm also not looking in the mirror. Went home and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith, wherein Angelina Jolie spends an hour or so getting the crap kicked out of her and yet looks about nine hundred and eighty bazillion times better than I ever will. Finally gave in and looked in a mirror. Promptly decided to wash face.

Went to sleep and had dreams of blowing up like a blueberry. An orange blueberry named Violet Beauregarde.

Showered this morning and. . . hey, this isn't so bad. My farmer's tan has been mitigated, which is what I was hoping for. It's still kind of an odd color, but it's not completely orange. I just look like I spent a week in Tahiti last night. That is, I'd look like that if tanning were a natural occurrence for me, which it's not. Normally, I'd just be red and then peel.

Peel like an orange! I'm just saying.

Dudes. I got a fake spray-on tan in a salon with fur walls.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

Namasté.

Don't see that every day.

2005-11-22T17:53:00.000-08:00

Mr. Wolf took some photos of clouds yesterday. We don't often get clouds like this around here.

Full of ourselves, aren't we?

2005-11-21T11:24:00.000-08:00

This morning I was listening to one of the keeee-raazy Los Angeles morning shows on the radio and a caller from Orange County was put on the air. She was from Orange County, not "The OC", if you please.

Y'see, the host of the show said something like "you're from the OC aren't you?" and the caller corrected her. "I'm from Orange County, yes."

My.

Don't get me wrong, I have no great love for the nighttime soap "The OC", but must we really correct the people we're talking to, as if we were bitter, green-aproned Starbucks barristas?

What? You know they totally correct you when you place your order and you don't say it in the approved Starbucks lexicon.

Anyway, back to the caller. My point is, she sounded like a snot who is way too uptight about a stupid television show that doesn't actually represent us at all. I think most people might get that already, but whatever. I mean, I don't automatically think all ER doctors in Chicago are maladjusted and socially backwards, do you?

All of which is to say, some people from The OC should chill. But only a little, because what fun would we have if we didn't have those people to make us laugh? Oh, and they should turn off their televisions once in a while.

Haiku Sunday

2005-11-20T08:10:00.000-08:00

All right, I'm a little rusty. Let me think. . .

Just lazing about
prod me to get me moving
Sunday's much too short

Eh.

Company's coming.

2005-11-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

I just gave my future sister-in-law the link to my blog. And now I'm running around here fixing entries and adding links.

Straightening up for company. Throwing my shoes in the closet and taking a swipe with the dustcloth.

Like any good hostess, I like to provide my guests with a beverage.

So, um, get your coat on, we're off to the martini bar.

Recall

2005-11-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

The first sentence of this story contains the best typo I have ever seen.

Oh, Reuters.

My handwriting is atrocious.

2005-11-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

It's always been atrocious. I was at work today, jotting down order numbers for the blah blah blah thing I do there and it just struck me how bad it really is. All raggedy spacing, inconsistent sizing and ink splotches.

I remember hours of forced practice as a kid. Fat lot of good it did.

I've been going through some of my older photos, just looking for stuff that might be print-worthy. Here's a shot taken in El Morrow Canyon. Not great, but nice and green.

Photoshop. Again.

2005-11-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

Just messin' around in Photoshop, while I wait for LOST to start. I applied a "watercolor" filter to this photo, but you probably can't really tell here.

If you click on it and bring up the larger image, you can see the effect better.

How to waste time at work.

2005-11-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

Evil, thy name is Sudoku. And I am probably evil for providing that link to you, but whatever. You can Google and find many, many sites devoted to Sudoku and it's evil...ocity.

Sudoku! It's fun to say.

Recommended listening: Slaughterhouse Five, read by Ethan Hawke. Don't care for him much as an actor, but he's a phenomenal reader.

Show's over.

2005-11-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

Well, the first artist showcase in Costa Mesa went really well. There were lots of artists there with a good variety of work and it seemed like there were many guests that came through to take a gander.

There's my booth. Mr. Wolf came up with these totally nifty easels that display four photos each.

My camera is still on the fritz, so I borrowed a friend's tonight.

Our friends came -- on a work night! -- to check it out. You rock, friends.

Only one thing disappointed. . . the band wasn't appropriate to the venue, I felt. They were much too loud, bar band all the way. Gave me a headache, gotta admit.

Goodnight, y'all, I'm beat.

At least I had the dress.

2005-11-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

In the wee hours of this AM, I had my first anxiety dream about the wedding. Nothing so serious that it was prevented from happening, but, you know, just like "what the hell is going on here?"

I dreamt that I had no shoes.

I think I also had no flowers and I was in the shower at the appointed time and had to rush around some, and then the officiant didn't show up right away, so we started losing guests to, I dunno . . . something more interesting happening outside?

But it all ended happily. Whew.

Healthy

2005-11-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

My company had a health fair today, one day before open enrollment ended. Helpful!

I got a pedometer so I could see just how many steps I don't take in a day.

The MADD people put a smushed up car on our front lawn. Is that disrespectful if an employee's kid was killed recently in a car crash? (I have no idea if it was due to drunk driving on anyone's part, by the way.) Because a bunch of people thought it was and I didn't know what to think about that.

___

I'm really f-ing stressed out about how I am going to display my photos at this art show next week. Have I mentioned that I don't know what I'm doing?

___

I'm putting together a blog at our own website and will post a link when I finally move over there. It's nifty. Have I mentioned that I don't know what I'm doing?

___

I really miss my camera.

Shameless Plug

2005-11-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

The City of Costa Mesa's Cultural Arts Committee is holding their first Artist Showcase. They put out a call for local artists who were interested in participating and I took the plunge. My first show.

Holeee cow.

So. I don't think any of my hoards (I wish) of readers live in Orange County, but if you do, or you're in driving distance, you're welcome to come check it out. They are planning live music, wine, pastries and hors d'oeuvres and there are, so far, about 40 artists signed up to display their work. I'm looking forward to seeing the other artists' work!

Artist Showcase
November 10, 2005
6:00 PM - 9:00 PM
1845 Park Avenue, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

Think anyone will notice that my cheesy frames came from Michael's?

Oh. I just sort of gave it away, there, didn't I?

Trick or Treat

2005-10-30T00:15:00.000-07:00

rock on