All Points In Between

A New Project: Work In Progress

2010-03-25T13:42:00.002-04:00

Hello All Points In Between Readers,

It has been quite a long time since I posted here. Since then, I read a lot (and talked a lot) about gender, race, sexuality and privilege. I scaled back my ambitions in an effort to not take up less space. But I forgot what was right under my nose, a motto I recite often: “We live in a land of abundance.”

So why am I starting to write again? For one, I love my life and I want to have a record of it. If nothing else, this new project is an endeavor to keep track of the bliss that is living my dream.

Why else? Folks–friends and strangers alike–say, “Wow, that’s really awesome!” And yup, it is. I want to share that.

Some basics

I work from home and set my own hours
I took a 50% paycut and nine months later, have more in my savings account then when I left my job (and I bought an HD video camera).
I give away more money (and stuff) than ever before
I am not part of a multi-level marketing scheme

Today I am officially launching my website, Work In Progress. I'd love for you to check it out, leave a comment, subscribe via RSS or email, and/or otherwise let me know what you think.

Work In Progress is the on-going story of ditching my 9-to-t, embracing radical love, practicing thoughtful resistance to the status quo, and realizing that it's not difficult as it looks. It's also an invitation to join me on this journey, to share with me of yourself and your life, and to grow together.

http://www.briangerald.com

I'm looking forward to the adventure!

Brian

Micah's Three Dollar Fund

2009-02-09T00:20:00.003-05:00

Micah would probably protest if he knew about this (hope you're not reading it right now!), but he is my best friend and could really use some help.

Micah is saving for surgery but since he works for a non-profit the savings are slow-going. His job is to support and encourage college fellows working around progressive issues on their campuses and to provide them with the skills and resources they need to succeed. He is passionate, caring, and has a giant vision for what justice looks like.

He inspires me, challenges me, and perhaps most importantly, makes me laugh.

I hope you'll join me in contributing towards Micah's surgery fund so that he can put it behind him and devote 100% of his time and energy to making the world a better place.

In this time of economic uncertainty, I'm not asking that you donate anything astronomical. Three dollars. That's less than a cup of coffee or about the cost of one ride on the DC subway. It's two sodas at a restaurant. Can you put down $3 today? Of course, you can give more as you're led.

Because this is a personal PayPal account (so I'm not paying a fee for it), you need to use a PayPal account to donate (I can accept 5 credit card transactions, so if you're going to use a card, do it quickly!). Apologies for the inconvenience.

From the bottom of my heart (and I'm sure his when he finds out), thank you.

Brian

Go here to contribute

Micah made this comic but doesn't know I have it. Sshh...

A Playlist for 2009

2008-12-30T15:30:00.003-05:00

What songs are bringing me into the new year? I've compiled 15 songs; some new, most old, that are jamming in my music player as I wrap-up 2008 and get energized for 2009. You can get a partial playlist on iTunes here.

"Power to to the People" by Black Eyed Peas
From the Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur album, this new take on a John Lennon classic is perfect as I continue to understand the interconnection of justice struggles. "Power to the People" moves.

"Talkin' Bout A Revolution" by Tracy Chapman
As I read Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution, I remembered how groovy the sounds of Tracy Chapman are. In much the same way that "Turn Me Around" talks about building a brand new world, "Talkin' Bout A Revolution" imagines that world and reminds us that the first step might sound like a whisper, but it's the start of a revolution.

"Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath

"All those people going somehow, why have I never cared?

"Give me your eyes for just one second. Give your eyes so I can see, everything that I've been missing. Give me your love humanity. Give me your arms for the broken-hearted, the ones that have fallen beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see."

A prophetic reminder of the Good News and an equally necessary reminder that I can't do on my own.

"This Is Love" by Jason & deMarco
Sometimes, it's not all about work. "This Is Love" reminds me what it's already about. Sometimes, justice means being able to listen to sappy love songs.

"Kenji" by Fort Minor
My good friend Meilee first introduced me to this song about the internment camps during World War II. I can't, and frankly don't want to be, an advocate for a partial justice. While Japanese Americans were being interred in the States, homosexuals were being interred and executed in Nazi-controlled Europe. Interconnection--I'm feelin' it these days.

"I Have Forgiven Jesus" by Morissey
I first heard this song on the 2007 Equality Ride when a professor played it at George Fox University for his class before our presentation. It's raw and reminds me that not all wounds heal nicely.

"Awake O'Sleeper" by Nicholas Kirk
A blogsophere discovery, this song and music video came to me by way of Hacking Christianity. The video is so beautiful, you're getting an embed:

Awake O'Sleeper from Brandon McCormick on Vimeo.

"Meant to Live" by The String Quartet
Can I call the Switchfoot original a classic? If so, then this instrumental take on a classic is relaxing and energizing. I can play it while falling to sleep or while working on a campaign.

"Stand by Me" from the Playing for Change soundtrack
What happens when filmmakers capture street performers around the world singing one song? Something soul moving. Don't we all need someone to stand by us? As 2009 rolls into motion, I'm surrounded by a family, a community, and a world who could stand by me.

"Travelin' Through" by Dolly Parton
I never quite understood the "breakthrough" of having a female actor play a female character, but TransAmerica was the first look at trans folk that many Americans took, so that says something. Dolly Parton is classic Americana and her song, about love, loss, family, and finding our way, is equally American. As natural as, say, being trans. Upbeat and a little quirky, this song reminds me that life is a journey.

"I Celebrate the Day" by Relient K
My housemate Matt introduced this song to me a week before Christmas and though it is technically a holiday song, I'll be listening to it year round. I actually can't decide on my favorite line.

The first time that you opened your eyes, did you realize that you would be my savior?
And the first breath, that left your lips, did you know that it would change this world forever?

A refugee baby born in a dirty, stinky shed ushered in God incarnate and the world forever.

"The Long Way Around" by Dixie Chicks
I've been listening to this album since it hit the shelves. Sometimes I'll go months at a time without tuning into the Chicks, but this album, and this song, will always have a place in my music collection. Unlike other justice struggles, queer folks must often navigate hostility in places which should be safe--their homes, neighborhoods, friend circles, and faith communities. "The Long Way Around" feels real, yet hopeful, to me.

"Poverty" by Jason Upton

"There's a power in poverty that breaks principalities and brings the authorities down to their knees. [...] And who will praise when we've praised all our lives men who build kingdoms and men who build fame? [...]"

The instrumentation is simple, the lyrics are haunting. I appreciate that the songwriter doesn't offer us guidelines or suggestions to follow, but rather asks us questions, punctuating each line with a pause as the question hangs in the air. What will we do? What will we do?

"Climb On (A Back That's Strong)" by Reverse Osmosis
My good friend Katherine Good is a beautiful singer and her a capella group from USC, Reverse Osmosis, is a staple in my music collection. "Climb On" picks me up when I'm down and, to be honest, is fun to sing along with.

"Love Today" by Mika
I'll be honest, I avoided Mika for over a year. He gave a cocky-sounding interview in which he claimed he didn't understand why he wasn't more of a superstar in the "gay community" simply because his sexuality is ambiguous and his songs are peppy. Then I heard "Love Today" and I caved. I mean, the beat is REALLY FUN and so it's the bookend to this playlist.

On Lines In The Sand

2008-12-20T09:47:00.002-05:00

With the selection of Rick Warren to give the invocation at the Obama inauguration and the ensuing brouhaha stirring among some advocates of gay rights/equality, I've been stewing on my own position. Here's where I'm at:

Gay people, and gay relationships, are absolutely and unequivocally on equal footing as their straight counterparts. There are many issues that invite healthy and productive debate, this is not one of them. There are not multiple valid perspectives. To denigrate queer identities and relationships is to place oneself opposite of truth, justice, God, and ultimately history. We certainly don't say that there is room for healthy debate around interracial marriage, or the rights of Christians to exist without persecution. As Mel White once said, the *issue* is not up for debate.

But I want the *people* who find themselves on the other side of recognizing my complete humanity as close to me as possible. I want to eat with them, work with them, pray with them.

When the Equality Ride was at Wisconsin Lutheran University, the chaplain (or dean or someone) refused to pray with us. I don't remember his title, but I remember the hurt we all felt. We were ready and willing to pray with them, it wasn't a charade or a stunt. And so I'm ready to eat, to speak, to work, and to pray with Rick Warren. I'm equally ready to call upon Obama to live up to his campaign promises and lead us toward justice for gay and transgender people. I'm ready to show Rick Warren and others who believe similarly how wrong they are by my actions. I'm ready to create a new kind of Christianity--one that takes the words of Jesus seriously and offers real solutions, not mere platitudes about love and service. I'm committed to deep, transformative change; not superficial tokenism. This is a start, it is absolutely not enough.

I've got to believe that Rick Warren can become a fierce ally for LGBT people, his invocation can be the first step. That's change I can believe in.

Support the Shiministim

2008-12-17T13:14:00.002-05:00

Israeli teenagers are boldly standing up to their government and refusing required military service on the grounds of conscientious objection, mostly due to the occupation of Palestine. These young people, many seniors in high school, defy pressure of family, friends, and the state--many who would see them as traitors--to hold fast to their convictions.

You can support these courageous young people--the Shministim--by signing a letter to the Israeli Minister of Defense at December18th.org. Jewish-Israeli peace activists will be hand-delivering these letters so add your voice today!

Reflections by Matt

2008-12-16T11:56:00.002-05:00

My friend and housemate Matt Beams wrote a touching reflection on the brand new SFNYC blog, blog:justice.

Check it out.

Spread Holiday Cheer (and Economic Justice)

2008-12-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

It's winter, and with the winter comes Christmas and general holiday cheer. Looking for an exciting alternative to the same drug-store cards you send out ever year? Check out Cards From Africa! You can find local retailers or order online. The cards come as individuals or in discounted multi-packs. Not only are they an artful alternative, they are created by orphaned young people who now the support the household. All of the cardmakers are 18+, their salaries are above market wage (approximately 5 times), they help the employees save, create a model of business so that cardmakers can become business owners, and the cards are made from recovered materials that would have been discarded. Living wage, Fair Trade, sustainable.

And beautiful.

This holiday, give cards with character.

To Be Or Not To Be

2008-12-05T20:38:00.000-05:00

A key component of Soulforce is studying the life and works of Gandhi, King Jr., and other non-violent thinkers and actors. Gandhi famously advised his followers—and the world—to be the change that we wish to see. My friend Shane Claiborne writes that often the saints and world-changers end up relegated to stained glass windows and coffee table books (after they're executed or assassinated, of course). That we want to venerate them safely from a distance. "Be the change" has a nice ring to it, feels good, and makes for a catchy movie tagline. But what does it mean? Do I really want to be the change? The answer changes everything. If I don't, that's fine. I can live a life of detached isolation both from my own problems and the problems around me. There is something to be said for creating a comfortable life and enjoying it with loved ones. I won't fault anyone for deciding against being the change. I ask myself almost daily, is this the life that I want?

But if I decide to be the change I wish to see in the world—if I truly mean it—then everything must change. Being the change is more than believing in myself, or even surrounding myself with like-minded friends. "To be" is both a state of existence and also a verb and "being change" requires making a deliberate effort to do differently than I've done thus far. What does being the change look like?

For Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. there was an inextricable element of sacrifice. "Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable," he said, rather "every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals." When I say "be the change you wish to see in the world," is this what I mean? Am I prepared to struggle and sacrifice for the cause of justice? Is this the choice that I want to make? How will I make those choices today?

In some ways, the answer seems clear to me. Gandhi reminds me that, "The sacrifice which causes sorrow to the doer of the sacrifice is no sacrifice. Real sacrifice lightens the mind of the doer and gives him a sense of peace and joy. The Buddha gave up the pleasures of life because they had become painful to him." My cable television, my iPod, my luxury studio apartment have all fallen away as they have become burdens too heavy to bear. I still make daily decisions: what to eat, whether to take the subway, when to upgrade my cellphone, what presents to give my friends and family. I even indulge in luxury—spending on trips, clothes, gifts to myself, upgrades to business class as I travel. I am by no means an ascetic (or even a full-time vegetarian), that would be too easy. Rather, I try, at the very least, to be conscious of the decisions that I make. May I never pontificate about being the change while remaining comfortably complacent. When I need to be comfortably complacent, I should own and in live in that space. I'm going to allow myself that choice, otherwise the choice to "be the change" is not really a choice.

There was a time when I made a choice to sacrifice two months of my life to participate in the Equality Ride. Or even to sacrifice two minutes of my life to send an email to a senator. These are choices for change. Being the change begins in simple decisions. Let me make no illusions, I'm writing this from the business class of an Acela Express train. It was a long weekend, holiday traffic would be rough if I were to take a bus, I have a full week of work ahead of me. I'm choosing to take the train—and a nice one at that. I'm returning to a house in New Jersey where I live with three friends (and pay only $400 each for rent)--I'm choosing to live in community. I commit some hours every week to work with Soulforce NYC, The Simple Way, and Marble Church. In some ways sacrifice, in others, the only way I want it to be--I'm choosing to work for justice. Being the change comes through choices.

As I continue to mull "what comes next" for advocacy around queer issues, I keep coming back to "be the change." I want to "fix" New York State, the Christian church, and the United States of America. Then I want to fix Iran, Africa, and the rest of the world. And I want to tackle poverty and all forms of oppression simultaneously. I want to scheme, to be the mastermind, and to get paid handsomely along the way! But that is not the advice I've been given. I've been asked by Gandhi to simply be the change. Similarly, Dr. Norris in his sermon on 1 John this past Sunday at Fourth Presbyterian Church advised us to hate the sins that we commit, and in doing so, actively repent of them. Be the change, in other words. I commit many sins and in my personal life, I'm going to take explicit stock of them and meditate on ways that I can turn around and change. I'm doing the same in my life as an activist.

Who have I taken for granted?
Who have I had too little faith in?
What assumptions do I continue to carry?
In my quest for equality, am I stepping on or silencing anyone (including those that I perceive as the opposition)?
What perspectives am I writing off? Is there anything to learn from them?
What voices am I not exposed to or am I ignoring?
How am I insulating or isolating myself from others?
How am I ostracizing others from myself?

At our meeting last week, Soulforce NYC asked ourselves many of these same questions and committed to chart a new path in our personal lives and in the life of the organization. I invite you to join us next week on Tuesday December 9 at 6:30 PM in Room 401 of the LGBT Center as we continue to bring our commitments to life and embody the vision of justice and equality for all.

May we never quote Gandhi, King, Jesus, or any other saint without choosing to follow their lead.

Humanity Detached From Sanity

2008-12-04T16:56:00.002-05:00

An 11-point list of what to do in a terrorist attack,
which starts with "rescue is a myth" and ends with
"kill without hesitation."

Masters programs in Homeland Security
But did the department make us secure?

It is the myth of redemptive violence.

Shopping sprees turned into
Shopping stampedes turned into
Death by shopping
Literally.

It is our consumer culture intensified, as sunlight through a microscope
It is the abuse in our products, laid out for us to see

Prayers to God for blessings and protection on our soldiers
As they kill, maim, and torture
Where are the prayers for their transformation and healing?
When will pray for and support those who want out?
Who will listen to their stories when they return?
How noble of us to "Support the troops" with our slogans and flags,
While we send them to die and to kill
And institutionalize them when they fail to just,
return to normal

Let us beat swords into plowshares and study war no more!

With wars across the world
With an economy in peril
Why are we not stopping to ask, "Why?"
Why is it done this way?

Why do we insist that the way which isn't working
Is the only way?

This is humanity detached from sanity

Nonviolence Begins Within

2008-11-20T14:01:00.003-05:00

My friend and Soulforce Q director Haven Herrin included this message in the most recent Soulforce update. As always, her way with words does justice to her insight.

Last week, Soulforce offered a call to action. Now is the time to take it to the streets, we said, and people are indeed peacefully rising up across the country in response to the passing of Proposition 8. Never has the need been greater to reach out to hearts and minds, as we are seeing in Arkansas, Arizona, California and Florida the legislative effects of hearts that have not heard us.

And with that challenge to action, I would like to add the equally important call to be nonviolent within the LGBT community. Blaming any one "demographic" of citizens for the passing of Proposition 8 does not stand up to the scrutiny of statistics, and it drives a wedge into our community. Process matters, and in honoring that dictum, morality and decency ask that we work even harder to make the LGBT community a safe space for all, regardless of ethnicity, faith, ability, or class. It is important to support our fellow activists in our layered, diverse identities. A beautiful aspect of the LGBT community is that we are everywhere; none of us is one-dimensional in our identities, and all of us are part of a web of social justice issues, including but not limited to LGBT equality, that must progress.

I hope that we may all be diverse in our allied communities and in our work. Nonviolence is not just for reaching out to our adversaries. It is also for building relationships that comprise a safe, strong network that supports all activists in coming out, sharing stories, and changing the hearts of our friends, family, co-workers, faith leaders, and neighbors.

Soulforce is working toward embodying all that nonviolence requires of us. Please visit the Soulforce website to learn about our work at the intersections of identity during the American Family Outing this past spring, or engage with our current work in the same vein in the Equality Ride.

Haven Herrin
Director of Soulforce Q

Read the original call to action by Executive Director Jeff Lutes at www.365gay.com/opinion/soulforce-time-to-take-it-to-the-streets

What will it take?

2008-11-19T16:29:00.004-05:00

There is a dynamism between movement inward and movement outward; perhaps an energy and a potential is release in the friction between the two.

Videos, such as this one (hat tip to Brian McLaren), are a reminder. As we learn, how can we not act?

The state of world affairs can be overwhelming. At a small group discussion around The Irresistible Revolution at my church recently, a friend shared that Shane's litany caused him to shut down (he also wondered aloud if it was selective). I'm itching to find small, simple, concrete steps I can take toward justice; and to be honest, a bit scared of what that means for life as I know it.

Here's what I've done recently:
* Invested in three Kiva entrepreneurs
* Talked to friends and co-workers about transgender awareness and bias-based crimes
* Offered support to a new friend who doesn't have a stable housing situation or job
* Donated a small amount to Soulforce Q's international outreach
* Blogged about poverty
* Attended an Ecclesia worship service

Here's what I'd like to do:
* Do a better job of understanding issues facing my friends (around race, homelessness, gender, etc) so that I can be a part of the solution and part of the problem.
* Trace my food and clothing back to its source and make sure I support individuals all along the way
* Call my sister at least once a week just to talk
* Open up my futon to a person in need of a place to sleep at night
* Find a way for our church to open up the building to those sleeping on their steps

Here are some questions I have:
* Is there something inherently condescending/paternalistic about being intentional about "developing relationships with people different than me?" What does different even mean?
* What issues in my own life have I failed to even notice?
* In what ways can I ask and receive help and support from others?
* What are my friends doing that I can join in on?
* What is the motivation behind all of this?

Get non-violence training before Saturday's rally!

2008-11-13T23:14:00.003-05:00

Join The Impact NYC Rally

As you may have heard, a grassroots movement called Join The Impact has sprung up in the days since the election to organize rallies in every state in the union on Saturday November 15 for the cause of LGBT equality. A gathering in New York City is scheduled for 1:30 PM at City Hall. While this is not a SFNYC organized event, I will be there and I hope to see you there as well! We recognize that marriage is not a city issue, however city halls are traditional gathering places for communities, and it is fitting for us to gather there as others across the country do the same. We are not protesting the city but rather standing up and being counted--that we are passionate about the cause of justice for LGBTQ people, that discrimination in all forms is unbefitting of our society, that gay relationships should be supported equally with straight ones, and also to remind ourselves that the journey for LGBT equality does not begin nor end with marriage.

Non-Violence Training at 11:30

In preparation for the rally, Micah and I will be leading a non-violence training for Soulforce NYC. This will cover non-violence of the heart, communication messaging, and courageous responses to violent action. Marble Collegiate Church, located at 29th St & 5th Ave, has graciously opened their building to us for this occasion. We will meet from 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM before traveling to City Hall together to arrive by 1:30 PM.

We hope that if you are planning on attending the rally, that you will join us for this training so that we can be prepared to boldly confront this important issue.

Feel free to invite your friends.

See you this Saturday!
Facebook event information here.

Finding The Next Step

2008-11-12T15:39:00.006-05:00

One of my best friends Micah writes today,

i don't want to protest the mormon church.

i don't want to protest city hall (i'll be there on saturday because i think it's important to stand in solidarity and be counted, i just think there are better messaging strategies).

i want to be intentional. i want my actions to make sense. i want to identify and address the source rather than the effects of oppression.

i want connection, narrative, humanity.

vulnerability, integrity, conviction.

i want to do something radical: i want to live my beliefs.

I know that we are both racking our hearts, minds, and souls to find our next steps. There is a part of me that is reacting to a great hurt caused by Proposition 8; but equally there is a recognition that this longing and these next steps are larger than any piece of legislation. My pastor Rev. Lewicki reflected on the movement between inward- and outward-focused energy in the life of faith. It feels as if I'm standing on the edge between inward-focused study, reflection, meditation, and preparation and outward-focused faith in action.

Where are you in life today? Inward-focused or outward-focused? And what do you want? What steps are do you feel called to that are perhaps not the steps you're used to?

Marriage Rally in NYC

2008-11-10T15:25:00.001-05:00

A demonstration in response to California's Proposition 8 will occur this Wednesday at 6:30 PM in front of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Temple in Manhattan. While over five million Californians voted in favor of Proposition 8, the LDS temple has been selected because the church officially urged members to donate time and money to the cause, estimates place donations from LDS members at 40-80% of total donations. As you may have heard, rallies have taken place across California, including one at the LA LDS temple; recently a protest was staged at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, UT. We feel it is important for you to know of this gathering in New York City, especially since religious rhetoric directly fueled support for Proposition 8.

I want to make it clear that Mormons are not our enemy. Many of my Mormon friends publicly opposed Proposition 8, giving their time, talent, and money for LGBT equality. In the aftermath of Proposition 8, a straight Mormon friend of mine held a sign reading "Churches can repent too," outside of his temple. Seeking Forgiveness is a blog featuring letters of apology from Mormons across the country, repenting on behalf of their church. You can read an open apology to the gay community here.

We understand that misinformation and misunderstanding--not individuals--are the sources of injustice against LGBT people. These rallies and protests can be a necessary and productive way for us to express our hurt, anger, and disappointment; they also serve to bring us together as a community. It is my hope that as you participate in the rally at the LDS temple, that you will bring with you a spirit of reconciliation. Use this rally as a place to express your deep and sincere hurt. The pain is real, let us grieve. And as we grieve, let us open up doors to justice; enrolling all people: gay and straight, Christian and atheist, Mormon or not, in the pursuit of of LGBT equality.

We invite you to use this rally as a conversation starter for friends and co-workers, to let it be your first step in activism, to use it as a catalyst for your friend's first steps into activism, as a place to grieve, as a place to be inspired. I invite you read and consider the journey into soulforce and the pledge to non-violence as you prepare for the rally this Wednesday.

Prop 8 Protest in New York City

Peaceful demonstration Wednesday night, November 12, 6:30 pm, New York Manhattan Mormon Temple, 125 Columbus Ave at 65th Street, New York, NY:

" Tens of thousands of our brothers and sisters are in the streets in California and Salt Lake City and around the country protesting the votes banning same-sex marriage in California. Join them! Make your voices heard right here in New York City. We will tell the Mormon Church how we feel about its relentless campaign to condemn and control our lives. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was, by far, the biggest financer of California's heinous and hateful Proposition 8. The Mormon Church begged their members to donate money to Prop 8, pouring 20 million dollars into the campaign. And their attacks on us didn't start there and aren't about to end. They're plotting right now to bring their money and influence to bear against the LGBT community everywhere in this country, including trying to prevent marriage equality in New York. "

Facebook event: http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=57450719688

This rally is not the only way to be active in the pursuit of justice for LGBT people. As the reality of Proposition 8 sets in, many of us are looking for new ways to become involved. Please email me at brian@sfnyc.org to find ways to engage the issues, change hearts and minds, and create equality!

A Hurt That Cries Out For Justice

2008-11-10T11:42:00.003-05:00

As the pain of Proposition 8 continues to settle in, a few more voices come to mind. First and foremast is that of anonymous Gordon College student (from If I Told You) who says,

God knows that I am just looking for the same thing everyone else is: a little love in a cold world.

I won’t find that love in my family, my friends, my school, my church, or some random guy.

That love comes from God and is the only thing I have left to hold on to. Don’t try to take it away from me. You can take away my self-esteem and my dignity; you can kick me out of church and deny me rights; you can physically beat me or call me names; you can laugh at me and you can pity me; but you can never, never take away my God.

Or I will no longer be human.

Proposition 8 did something that no other anti-gay ballot initiative has done, it took away our rights. Unlike in Arizona or Florida, where the measures were redundant, the CA amendment changed the Constitution to remove protections and privileges for some citizens.

And yet, we are still here. LGBT people and their friends have taken to the streets. Proposition 8 may have erased from the law, but it will not--cannot--erase us completely. The protests and the gatherings may not change policy, they may not even change hearts and minds, but they are a collective cry that "we are still human, we are still human."

I also here Maya Angelou's famous words "Still I Rise"

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

And lastly, I remember the words of Audre Lorde, from The Black Unicorn

A LITANY FOR SURVIVAL

For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children’s mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:

For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother’s milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.

And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
it might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive

We speak in the notes of condolences, we speak in conversations making sense of our lives and our future, we speak as we organize, we speak with signs, we speak with our bodies, we speak in protest, we speak over dinner.

We speak, we love, we live. We are here. Proposition 8 is a source of great pain for many, may that pain turn into cries for justice that move a nation. Find your voice, perhaps it starts with a Facebook note, but never let it end. Foster it, nurture it, spread it. It starts out as a thought, "I am as I should be," which turns into a word, which then grows into conversations and discussions, rallies, and movements.

Speak, for that is all you need to do.

Despite the hurt, ain't gonna let nobody

2008-11-06T15:40:00.001-05:00

Two days after the stinging passage of Proposition 8 in California, a deep ache pierces my stoic exterior. As I resolve to not wallow in anger or vent aimlessly and I begin to take action, I feel my soul moving and a movement stirring as news comes in from Los Angeles:

It is time.

"Ain't Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Around" has been a constant refrain in the literal march for justice. It was sung during the quest for racial integration "Ain't gonna let nobody turn me around, gonna keep on walkin', keep on talkin', marchin' up to Freedom Land." "Ain't gonna let no Jim Crow turn me around," "Ain't gonna let no fire hose turn me around."

On the Equality Ride, leaders who sang those songs passed them along to us adding "Ain't gonna let homophobia, turn me around," "Ain't gonna let administrators turn me around," "Ain't gonna let no handcuffs turn me around, gonna keep on walkin', keep on talkin', gonna build a brand new world."

Today let us add another verse "Ain't gonna let me no proposition turn me around." To walking, and talking, in the streets, in churches, synagogues, and mosques, in our living rooms, and our classrooms, in city halls, in public parks, from the margins to the center of power ... to building our brand new world!

An Open Letter to California Queers

2008-11-05T22:23:00.006-05:00

We didn't think it could really happen. The court handed down a compelling decision, the weddings had begun, photos were spreading, presents were streaming in, joy was contagious. This is California, we are safe. A few Facebook notes and status updates, along with perhaps a donation or two, would suffice in maintaining our civil rights. Nevermind only our like-minded friends read our Facebook and our blogs. Nevermind the polls. Nevermind the Mormon Church. There were rallies in West Hollywood and San Fransisco. Gavin Newsom gave a speech. “It's here whether you like it or not,” we were promised. We could observe from a distance, from the comfort of our living rooms, safely removed by a computer monitor.

But it did happen, didn't it? Five million one hundred sixty three thousand nine hundred eight people voted in favor of Proposition 8. Five million! Can you even wrap your mind around that number? I cannot. And here's the rub: those five million people aren't bad people, some of them even have gay friends. Five million Californians decided that it was good conscience and a good use of government to remove my constitutional equality and deny me marriage. Many (most?) of them may have felt this position is in line with the way the world is or should be—heterosexual relationships only.

And so today I'm not angry—I'm not going to yell about the bigots—I am challenged. There are five million people in the state of California that I have not reached. They do not know me and know what I bring to our community. Worse, they felt compelled to vote against fundamental rights for other humans. That is an awful place to be.

As I begin to wrap my mind around what Proposition 8 means for myself, my future relationships, my friends, and my country, I pause. Facebook status updates and blog posts were not enough to stave off Proposition 8, I cannot allow myself to believe that they will undo it. If history has anything to teach us, it is that great change does not come without great sacrifice--time, comfort, money, energy. Reaching out to Latino Catholics, Republicans in Central CA, Mormon neighbors, anti-gay co-workers, our sweet but uninformed grandparents, our cousins, even our vaguely supportive friends, and on and on; not with posters, stickers, signs or chants but with relationships and over shared meals and experiences. Deep connections, real enrollment. This is my plea to queer folks and our friends: do not update your Facebook status anymore about Prop 8, do not write another blog post about how insulted, offended, hurt, betrayed or disappointed you are. Take those feelings and that time and channel them toward the five million Californians who failed to connect with your humanity.

This is what I am going to do:

Write a card to all of my queer married friends in California, expressing my love and support
Host a small group at my church to unpack the decision, convey its effects, and further the movement toward acceptance and advocacy within our denomination.
Visit my elected officials to enroll their support for marriage equality in my state and return to visit as often.

From here out, I will only update my status or write blog posts to speak about my actions. I realized today that five million Californians didn't fail me, I failed five million Californians, and I— we—can change that.

Election Day Reflections: Prop 8

2008-11-04T12:57:00.004-05:00

I have an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and it's not from the street food I just ate. This is not the first time anti-gay measures and amendments have been on the ballot, it may not even be the last. This time it hits closer to home. I've lived in California, in many ways I still have a life in California. But I think, even more than that, it feels like this current bliss may have been nothing more than a cruel joke.

I can't help but think of my friends Diana and Robin, as each "Yes" or "No" ballot drops in piles next to their altar, millions crashing their wedding reception to offer unwanted toasts or jests.

As the residents of California are being asked to vote on every relationship I've had and every one I might form, I have to ask myself "Am I on trial?" It's like being on Survivor or Big Brother or something ... will we be voted off the island? Of course, I don't weigh in my parent's marriage, or my cousin's, or John McCain's, or even Bradgelina's lack thereof. But today strangers thousands of miles away are weighing in on mine. They're telling me whether I will be safe and secure should I return, they're telling me how many of my close friends will be treated. It's weird.

My married friends will continue to be married in their hearts, families, and communities regardless of what happens today. How awful is that--that I need to remind myself that stripping rights from millions of citizens won't completely destroy them? Thousands of couples currently married in California may have that whisked away from them. Friends, my friends, my married friends making a life together, finally recognized and supported by the state may have the rug pulled out from under them. ... But they will be strong and persevere. We will support them anyway, I will support them.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. Confident that Prop 8 will be defeated? Defiant that a law can't undo my humanity? Embarrassed that our country in general and my former state in particular are even considering this measure? Scared that it might pass? Anxious that my relationship is on the line?

Perhaps in this moment I am supposed to find strength and faith. Strength to make sure this doesn't happen in other states. Strength to support my friends regardless of outcome. Strength to trust myself and my relationships. Strength to have tough conversations. And faith to know that whatever the outcome, I am good.

Update: SFNYC, Giving, and Bible discussions at CMU

2008-10-29T14:48:00.003-04:00

First off, Soulforce NYC is in gearing up in many new and exciting ways like never before. We're collaborating with Vassar College's Act Out for an event in a few weeks, moving forward with a spring campaign, and finally finally bringing in new voices and ideas. It feels soooo good and I've been waiting close to a year for the wheels to finally start spinning.

As the economic uncertainty continues, I recently read an article forecasting that Americans would simply find new and cheaper ways to indulge, rather than question the consumerist me-at-the-cost-of-others centered attitude. While I've given money recently to the Equality Ride and to No On 8 in California, it's been awhile since I've invested in small businesses worldwide through Kiva. Aziza Khamis and her friend Mtumuwa own small business making and selling "chipsi" (french fries) in Zanzibar. Through her business, Aziza is able to bring in $240 in profits each month. The loan, which I'm a part of, will help her buy ingredients to expand sales! My other Kiva loans are in the process of being repaid so I only had to contribute an additional $8.25 ... easy!

Micah and I returned from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA last night and I have many reactions to share. As I process them myself, I'll put them up here.

What better way to spend a Friday afternoon than with a music video?

2008-10-24T15:55:00.004-04:00

Hacking Christianity posted this video and wondered if the ending didn't completely undermine the message. I can't decide if the ending is purposefully vague--leaving us with the reality that we are free to to decide how to react to Jesus's sacrificial death--or if the filmmakers buy into (the myth of) redemptive violence. In either case, the cinematography is beautiful.

Awake O'Sleeper from Brandon McCormick on Vimeo.

Meet A Rider: Alex Lundy

2008-10-23T12:55:00.001-04:00

I think the Equality Ride is distinct in that it acknowledges the connection between religion and heterosexism. It does not discount it from the discussion or demand that folks "get their Bible out of school policies." Instead, it boldly meets people where they are. It affirms my unwavering personal stance that all people have the right to be freed from prejudice, no matter what their sexual orientation, faith, or personal beliefs may be. Every person has the right to feel empowered by truth and knowledge, and not become a victim of misinformation. Everyone is entitled to experience love, to love themselves and to love others. All people have to right to feel safe in their schools, churches, communities, and homes. And all students have the right to participate in higher education.

I am a living embodiment of change.

Support the Equality Ride by sponsoring Alex.

Meet the other riders.

When it comes to power, under is never equal

2008-10-21T15:05:00.002-04:00

It's a busy day and I do not have time for my own writing today. Hectic work schedule followed by phone banking at the Task Force tonight. However, a post by Mimi Haddad came across my reader that I had to pass along.

Here is a fierce excerpt:

Gender is not the basis upon which authority in marriage or the church is determined. Remember, Paul tells all Christians to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21). Wives have authority over their husbands’ bodies, just as husbands have authority over their wives’ bodies (1 Corinthians 7:4). Paul celebrates the spiritual authority of female apostles (Romans 16:1); prophets (1 Corinthians 11:3-5, 1 Corinthians 14:31, Acts 2:17; 21:9); house church leaders (Romans 16:13-15, 40, 1 Corinthians 1:11, 1 Corinthians 16:19, Philemon 1:2, and 2 John 1:1); deacons (Romans 16:1); teachers of the gospel (Acts 18:26); evangelists (Philemon 4:3, Romans 16:3); and those who do the very heaviest of gospel-labor (Romans 16:12). Paul calls others to submit to Stephanas’ entire household (1 Corinthians 16:15-16), including slaves as well as women who were part of this household ministry. Slaves, free, Greeks, Jews, men, women, the educated, and the illiterate shared spiritual authority — as they shared in the risen life of Christ (Galatians 3:27-29). And, this oneness in Christ would one day overturn slavery and the subjugation of women.

What have we become?

2008-10-20T11:58:00.005-04:00

I was asked to join the 2008 Equality Riders in Baltimore before they hit the road for some video training, song singing with Micah, and general passing of the torch. They shared much with me. As I follow some of them through blogs and Facebook, removed from the immediacy by a computer screen, observing from a safe distance; my heart aches.

This is Lauren Parke.

She was attempting to enter chapel with students who invited her, to worship with them, and to continue in conversation. When did the Christian faith become mediated by handcuffs instead of prayer, when did the fence replace the communion table?

When did Christians arresting each other become acceptable? And how much longer will it last? It is more heart-breaking every time.

Meet A Rider: Taueret Manu

2008-10-18T10:03:00.004-04:00

I first met Taueret here in New York City through friends from the Equality Ride. I immediately knew that she would be on the next bus. Don't forget to meet the other riders.

"Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours." It's time to speak for those whose voices are methodically silenced and inspire them with the tools to find their own justice and empowerment. I will challenge myself to overcome my own prejudice against those who would see my soul silenced and my rights taken away, and find the beauty and grace in every individual whom I encounter on this fierce adventure.

Support the Equality Ride by sponsoring Taueret.

Sometimes comics are unusually insightful

2008-10-16T20:39:00.001-04:00