Katie Schwartz

DONUTS made it to the homepage of FUNNY OR DIE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:26:00 +0000

Please check it out and click "Funny," and feel free to share. We love sharing.

Starring in Donuts, Martin Olson Brittany Flickinger Jeff Bowser and Ray Anderson. Directed by, Jamie Neese Donuts on FunnyOrDie

Meet me at KatieSchwartz.com

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 18:46:00 +0000

Thanks for stopping by. On All The Way From Oy To Vey, you'll find archives dating back to 2004. Damn, that's a lot of nonsense, rants and bullshit. Hey, why delete my past?!

Come see me at KatieSchwartz.com - I'm publishing my humor essays, a few rants and other annoying things. Oh, and some updates - Good stuff? You decide.

No Shortage Of Stuffing Pie Hole Here, Metaphorically Speaking

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:36:00 +0000

I broke up with J Crew, but we got back together.

I’ve noticed that a lot of Born Agains are starting to follow me on Twitter. To be clear, I don’t mean Christians or Catholics, I mean Zealarellas (zealots). I’m wondering… What part of me screams save me?

Wanna read more? Of course you do! Kidding. If you do, fab. If not, I understand. No pressure, no guilt. I'm a freak.

Midgets, Siblings and Masturbation, Oh My

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:11:00 +0000

The non-sequitur post from hell.

The emails I’ve received for the wrong KatieGirl@gmail.com are worth reporting:

UPDATE: Received today 11/14 “I can’t poo any longer i thought my butt was stronger! but I need your help to tacke this deamen out! Juust stick your hand up there and move it everywhere until u u puulll it. Ouuuuttttt ooooo ya ya yaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

I bought software from StreamingFlix.com under the name Katherine. For the record, it’s Katie Louie Schwartz, mothah fuckah. Ga'head, read the rest...

Beautiful Photography, by Susan Ledgerwood

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:06:00 +0000

Susan Ledgerwood Other Worldly Visual Storyteller, She’s All About YOU

Susan Ledgerwood. You might know her via Twitter @SoyGoy. You might be a “Fan” of Susan’s work on Facebook. If you’re not following her on Twitter or have become a fan of her work on Facebook, after reading about her and seeing her work, you will be. Read the rest and see her work! You'll plotz.

A Decision Has Been Made

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:04:00 +0000

I am going to cross-post on The Vey what I post on KatieSchwartz.com. I miss it. The Vey, I mean.

What's news and exciting, you ask? Posting now.

Stay tuned. I have insomnia and lots to dish.

SCHWARTZ HAS MOVED

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Mon, 25 May 2009 03:54:00 +0000

Beautiful babies, I have officially moved. I will not be deleting this blog, ever. I am in a new spot where I will be ranting and raving. You know how I do. Come visit me at KatieSchwartz.com. Come on, don't be shy. You can do this. We'll do it as a family. Ready. Set. Click.

CHANGE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Mon, 25 May 2009 01:04:00 +0000

BREATHE.
STAY WITH ME.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OOOOKAAAAY.
IF YOU CLICK THIS LINK, I PROMISE IT WON'T BITE.
LOVING...

DEAR THYROID IS IN THE SISTERHOOD

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 02 May 2009 01:27:00 +0000

@Anastasia_Smith of The Sister Project, follow them on Twitter @sisters, wrote a gorgeous post about her thyroid, sisterhood and Dear Thyroid. Please read, From The Threads of Thyroid Tales.

Thank you!

Isn't she a honey? Click on over and read.

*cross posted at DearThyroid.

OLD JEWS TELLING JOKES

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 14:21:00 +0000

This morning I woke up to Old Jews Telling Jokes in my box, courtesy of my girl, FranIAm. OJTJ is so funny, I think I want to marry the website.

KATIE RANTS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 14:04:00 +0000

Good morning!

If you've been following my tweets, @katieschwartz, you know that my pal VeronicaWords, is working like a dawg to, well, save dawgs.

From VW: "Here’s the scoop from @VeronicaWords: vote 4 us! http://is.gd/3EQR Fill in Pike County Humane Society Milford PA & Search. then select us. Animal verification, that’s it!".

It's a great shelter and you can vote every day, so please do. They're in desperate need of the fundage. Off you go to vote for canine hope.

My dad joined Twitter, @jsbrooklyn. I'm plotzing. @TanyaEspanya, doll that she is, friended my pops. As far as dark humor is concerned, you'll quickly learn the apple does not in fact fall far from the tree, not at all. Friend him, ga'head. I think he knows how to follow back, if not my brother, @nicktony will show him, I'm sure.

I'm obsessing about the song, Caribbean Queen, for reasons I can't explain, and the mispronunciation of the word, "Caribbean". It is not pronounced "Caara-beee-aun", which is, in my opinion, enunciation murder. Worsening the issue, lest we forget it was a huge hit. How? Why? What happened? Where was I during this songbacle?

Have you seen infomercials for the Bullet Express? In the middle of the night, when I can't sleep, I am a food product infomercial whore. Anyway, the infomercial has the creepiest crew, force feeding insert-grandma-here, a food bulletized beverage. What's worse, is her insert-son-here, staring at her wantonly while she's drinking. Watch!

Another one is the Cricut Expression, a scrapbookey spin-off tchoch that's fun for the whole family. Admittedly, this one bugs the shit out of me.

What happened to Ron Poppeil, you know, the infomercial daddy who coined the phrase "But, wait, there's more"?

Here's one I love -- Really, it's the dame I love, never the products, always the sales peeps and their handy-dandy-ever-so-shocked-side-kicks, the Turbo Cooker.

THE SILVER ENVELOPE PROJECT

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:05:00 +0000

In response to the Red Envelope Project, I have launched the Silver Envelope Project. I posted about my disdain and contempt for the REP, you might have read it here, Abortion, The Breakfast of Champions.

My objective for the Silver Envelope Project is for legions of women who are pro-choice, to join me in posting written letters, video letters and photo/collage letters to the Silver Envelope Project blog, to virally syndicate our message as aggressively as they are.

I hope you'll review and send me lots of letters and get involved!

ONE FOR THE SHAME BUFFET, PLEASE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 01:42:00 +0000

As we've discussed a blog is one part confessional, right? Right.

Today, I was reminded of the ultimate shamevent, I was with my ma and we were at the Farmer's Market buying produce, minding our own business when I happened upon my ex.

He didn't see me -- I saw him -- which was MORE than enough to make me run -- like a virgin towards the starting quarterback. I flew through the market. My ma, is, of course, fast on her feet and didn't need me to explain anything, she just followed. PS: That's love.

So terrified he would see me, I made my way into the back of the market and dove into a dumpster. Yes, I know that's disgusting. Whatevs, a girl does what a girl has to do.

A few minutes later, I could hear my mother laughing her ass off while leaning against the dumpster, so I peeked my head out of the top. Through tears, she said to me, "What the fuck is wrong with you, child?" I whispered, "I saw my ex, he was buying avocados. Remember he used to call them avo's? I hated that."

She looks to her left, sees him, whispers, "Duck", and slams the cover of the dumpster shut. She hid behind the dumpster.

Do you believe the shame?

Ten minutes later, she came out from behind the dumpster and made sure all was clear before helping me out of the can.

Oy vey, the lengths I will go to, to avoid this ex... don't ask.

HEY, CHUBBARELLA

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Nice ad, huh? Circa 19-we-call-fat-laaaydies-chubbies. Of course we've "evolved" past this. Presently, we just quickly look away from said chubbette for fear of catching fat, which makes perfect sense, it was in the NY Times.

If you've been following my tweets, you know that I am completely OCD about my kitchen window neighbor's shower habits. They shower 4-5 times a day. I keep wondering; if there are only two of them, what could they possibly be doing that requires such excessive showering. Are they rolling in mud? Peeing on themselves? Working out 24/7? Smoking meat? Then I wonder, wait, maybe people have increased their daily showering, maybe that's the norm, maybe it's the thing to do, and I'm just a skanky dirty whore for showering once a day.

I'm in a weird mood.

I have insomnia.

Oh, before I forget, thank you sooo much for the birthday wishes. My birthday was February 7th. Like the latetard that I am, I didn't get around to posting my GIFTIES until, oh the shame of it, April 5th. Do you believe?! I know, I'm such a cuntarell. Oy, forgive me gift givers.

On the 16th, which I believe is now, a certain someone from a certain Compound is coming to Los Angeles with his fangorialicious daughter, I can't wait to see them. We met at the Pilcrow Lit Fest last year in Chicago.

I'm trying to get my sister to consider doing an authentic expression for Three Dames With A Clue .

Does anyone know of any jewelry makers in the Los Angeles, Hollywood area looking for a venue to sell their jewels? I can't find anyone.

STUPIDITY ROCKS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 07:50:00 +0000

What kind of a schmuck do you have to be to dive into a polar bear enclosure at a zoo? How completely fucktardian are you?! I'm just grateful the PB's weren't injured.

Polar bear mauls woman at zoo, wouldn't you if some asshole came into your house?

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:00:00 +0000

Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate.

I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply, even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb. Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind.

In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I have a block against certain tasks. I can be absentminded, but not about the big stuff, I don't think.

It's 4:30 AM. I started writing this post 3 hours ago. I ran to the store. One of the stock daddies had beautiful tattoos covering the length of his arms. I asked him, "Do your tattoos tell a story?" He winced, glaring at me as if I was from Fucktardville. Fuck me for thinking a labyrinth of gorgeous tattoos spun a yarn, what an assjockey I must be for not realizing that a man's arms covered in tatts could be so fucking random.

My stomach hurts something awful at the minee.

I walked away from my lappytoppy for 5-minutes and had a fabalicious idea that I completely forgot. Why? I didn’t write it down. These days if I don’t write things down, they are MIA like Stayin' Alive.

PS: I have been trying to get online to finish this post for almost an hour. Now, I’m irked.

My stomach hurts something awful at the minee.

I need to drink more H2o.

It's no longer 4 AM.

ABORTION, THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:22:00 +0000

Dwarfs just flashed in my brain for some bizarre reason. Oh, this post isn't dwarf driven. Wait, are we allowed to say dwarf or is that un-PC?

Speaking of dwarfs, abortion. No, silly, I'm not saying you should abort a dwarf baby if you find yourself knocked up with one, gosh no. I just couldn't find a decent segue into abortion after mentioning dwarfs.

Don't be offended, it's not like I said you should abort a Down Syndrome baby or a retarded baby, or are they one and the same? That I know is un-PC, to say retarded. In my defense, I don't actually come out and say "Retarded", I say "Rahtaardded". See the difference, it's subtle.

I am getting so fucking sidetracked right now.

I hope you're not offended. I haaate being offended, it's such a nauseatingish feeling. When I'm offended, I feel dirty from the inside out, overcome with a kind of helplessness and a boiling anger, akin to being felt up without my consent. Super unfestive. I'd say molested versus being felt up, but knowing as many vagina's as I do, I've come to learn that at some point in our lives we've had some kind of molestereeuation. It's a signature, a calling card, par the course of being a bird, I suppose.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, while Evangelical-blog-hopping this week, I happened upon a few blogs who posted about The Red Envelope Project, also coined, "The LIFE Envelope Project". Have you heard? You can see where I'm going with this, right? The REP project is a wildly offensive endeavor spearheaded by the fundies, of course. Not our beautiful, liberal Christian/Catholic sisters and brothers. No, no, no, they would never do such a thing, only insane zealie's pioneer such egregious and offensive acts as this one.

Here's the dish in a nutshell, pulled right from the whackjob's mouth. I've bolded my favorite parts:

"The e-mail letter below turned into a couple different websites supporting the project with hundreds of thousands of visitors. There was a day setup for Red Envelopes to be sent and we have received word from the White House mailroom that over 2 million envelopes were delivered after the March 31st Red Envelope Day!

In an effort to keep the movement alive and going we have transferred the website into the LIFE Envelope Project to avoid a potential trademark problem. We are also looking to expand the project to send not just red envelopes but also baby blue (to represent an aborted baby boy), pink (to represent an aborted baby girl), and traditional white with red, pink, or blue writing (for ease of getting an envelope). It's now easier than ever to send the message on to our president, senators, representatives, and judges!

The Founding Story:

Below is a letter that has been circulating with a great idea. The message began in silent prayer from a faithful follower who was spending quiet time with God.

Dear Friends and Intercessors:

This afternoon I was praying about a number of things, and my mind began to wander. I was deeply distressed at the symbolic actions that President Obama took as he began his presidency. Namely, that he signed executive orders releasing funds to pay for abortions, permission to fund embryonic stem cell research, and federal funding for contraception. I have been involved in the pro-life movement for nearly 20 years, and it pained my heart to see a man and a political party committed to the shedding of innocent blood. This man, and this party lead our country, but they do not represent me or the 54% of Americans who believe that abortion is wrong and should no longer be legal.

As I was praying, I believe that God gave me an interesting idea. Out in the garage I have a box of red envelopes. Like the powerful image of the red LIFE tape, an empty red envelope will send a message to Barack Obama that there is moral outrage in this country over this issue. It will be quiet, but clear.

Here is what I would like you to do:

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to:

We have reason to believe the return address is important, please include it.

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
N.W.Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

This envelope represents one child who died in abortion. It is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world. LIFE begins at conception.

Put it in the mail and send it. Then send this website to every one of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died before having a a chance to live. Maybe it will change the heart of the president, our senators, and/or our representatives.

Warmly, Christ Otto

Let's Send 50 Million red envelopes (and Counting) for all of the children killed in the US by abortion!"

I, of course, was and remain deeply offended by this movement. In the spirit of free speech, I think those of us who unequivocally support a woman's right to choose abortion, and protect funding for abortion, education about birth control and stem cell research, should send an envelope to President Obama, too.

In a silver envelope, place a little plastic egg inside with a note that reads:

My name is Fertileena, I was aborted by a wonderful woman. If you haven't met her, you should. She's a vibrant, happy, healthy dame with a full and rich life. She got pregnant, it happens. Although, deciding to abort me wasn't an easy choice, we talked about it at length and we are sooo grateful that she had the choice to abort me. We're still friends and catch up from to time. Oh, don't worry, I won't bore you with the details. I just wanted to thank you for keeping abortion safe and legal. I wanted to be aborted as much as she wanted to abort me, it was very much a mutual decision. I LOVE my life and value my life as an aborted fetus.

Sincerely,

Fertileena, aborted feteye

Any questions?

GIFTIES

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:40:00 +0000

FreakyJewelry sent me these gorgeous earrings for my birthday and I am wild about them. THANK YOU, FJ. I LOVE MY B-DAY PREZZIE.

I took a picture of these beauties. Unfortunately the blur factor was so high, it hardly did them justice, see:

FJ makes the coolest gem earrings, necklaces and quirky/dark jewels I've seen in ages. She's such a talent. You must check out her jewels and treat yourself to one of her pieces.

Darryle Pollack, the brains behind Cluttercast, formerly known as Click for Clutter, I've blogged about it plenty, you're up to speed, yes? Yes, sent me three FABULOUS scarves as a birthday gift!

They are the kitschiest of kitsch, and the colors are so vibrant and stunning. Love at first sight, I tell ya. I started tying these beautiful babies to my pocketbook like my grandmother used to do, ah the memories, such bliss. THANK YOU SO MUCH, DARRYLE, FOR MY SCARVES.

And, from Diva B. Coffey, I got an awesome gift card to tarjhay. I'd post the pic, but I used that baby faster than you can say spend, and this hilarsquared card:

Is this a KatieCard or what?!

BETHYLISH, I LOVE MY GIFTS, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH.

WILMA FINGERDO

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 16:11:00 +0000

This week had a theme, a pretty straightforward one too: "Katie, Wilma Fingerdo", laced with syphilis, oozing herpes sores, attached to a gnome wearing a trollee-esq mask when you least expect it, EVERY FUCKING DAY?!

I met with optadaddy on Monday to discuss my lady balls. While I appreciate his enthusiasm for Graves' ophthalmology because really, if a doctor has a raging hard on for something that's ailing you, s/he's the DR you want. Right? Right.

I'm in the chair. Between us is the peeper machine that scopes your balls. While he's fondling mine with said machine, he's going on and on and on about his latest study with rabbits and rats and their peepers popping. Again, I appreciate his enthusiasm, but do I really need the deets?

I said, "My sister had a rabbit named Clovis", thinking this would ignite the, oh-I've-said-too-much-gene, and make him stop. On the contrary, he didn't. After the fondlefest, I said, "Ya know, DRB, I really don't want to break-up with you because you are the Graves' Optha daddy of doom. However, the image of sacrificed animals is nauseating, depressing and way more than I can handle. You've crossed a boundary."

Do you know what he said? "I'm authoring a paper for (I can't remember the name) medical journal all about it."

Seriously?! I have NOTHING to say and EVERYTHING to talk.

Everyone was so far up my ass this week, did I ask for a free colonoscopy? No, I did not. No matter what I said or did, it was wrong. A ginormy week of misunderstandings. Don't you love when people say, "I'm listening."? Really? You are? Than why the fuck can't you hear me?!

Argh.

The upside is that my surname isn't Humpdick. I'm healthy and the week will be officially over tomorrow.

PS: Wilma Fingerdo is a dragalicious diva.

DISH AND THAT

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 15:31:00 +0000

The dish, rapid fire... Shall we bullet point this baby or what? Okay, here we go.

My youngest brother, Nick is a social media God. He Twittered with Mc Hammer from 33,000 feet. Isn't he a honey?!
In honor of Ada Lovelace Day, one of my Twitter dishing buddies, BitDepth, has written a lovely post about women in New Media and he GENEROUSLY included me. To be in the company of the women he wrote about is quite an honor. If you haven't read his blog, check it out. He is a photographer and a filmmaker. His work is rich and luscious, like his personality.
Tuesday was suuuuhhhhrrrrrrreal.
Wednesday I had to re-pee in a bucket, but failed miserably. The whole thing was entirely too nauseating. Let's just say I jeopardized the specimen.
Thursday morning I had a date with Urarella (Nephroqueen). He's so dramatic, my God. Only 8 viles of blood on the wall, 8 viles of blood, if one should happen to fall... Anyway, he wanted me to have an MRI. However, as of Friday, I have decided not to. If he thinks squeezing me into a tube of toothpaste for an hour and a half is going to happen, he's grossly mistaken. He saw my kidneys on the big screen (ultrasound), that's enough for him. Geez Louise, what's his plan? To jerk off with a new set of MRI'd kidneys, my kidneys?! He's going to have to find a new pair. "Gee, Katie, that's not overly dramatic at all."
I know this is super old, but I'm still in shock that in this recession somebody bought a car for 4.4 MM. To be fair, it's truly a spectacular automobile. Still. Who has 4 mil to play with, especially after record job losses, Madoff, Wall Street and the housing crisis?!
Do not forget to vote for Miss Nora O’Sullivan, she’s in 3rd place. If anyone can get her into 1st, we can. Click here now.

VOTES REQUIRED FOR BUBBSIE'S DAUGHTER

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:57:00 +0000

From Joe:

Hi everybody!

I'm tied up at work and won't have a chance to get this up on Sprawling Ramshackle Compound for a while, so I need your help. Our daughter Nora is a semi-finalist in the Fangoria Spooksmodel contest. Right now she's kind of bummed out because she's getting her ass kicked in the voting--she's competing against a more than a few softcore porn actresses and pro models. Please click on the link (here it is again: Fangoria Spooksmodel) and scroll down until you see Nora O'Sullivan in her evil nurse costume.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD VOTE FOR THIS GIRL. Nobody loves horror more than Nora, and she needs to place in the top 13 to go to the finals in L.A. Vote early and often, it's easy, and forward this to any gorehounds you know, or anyone who just loves to vote in internet contests.

I really appreciate it. She'd love to see her numbers climb. Take care, and thanks for reading!

Joe

Run. Go. Vote.

COFFEY IS HAVING A BIRTHDAY

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:54:00 +0000

Our beloved blogging buddy, Beth Coffey is having a SUPER DUPER BIRTHDAY TODAY. Click over and wish that dame a very happy birthday.

Bethy, the world is a better place because you're in it. I celebrate you every day, today is extra special because you were born. You are loved and adored by many. You're a good friend, a great person and you have a heart of gold.

I wish you the world, my dear. My this year bring you everything your lovely soul desires.

Love,
Jewgirl

THREE DAMES WITH A CLUE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:48:00 +0000

A few weeks ago, I joined two incredible women, Joy Hurwitz and Belle Zwerdling, to form Three Dames With A Clue, a women's collective that produces live, filmed, interactive theatre coined My Authentic Expression.

Each month, a new topic is tabled and guided by 3-4 panelists, paired with an online series of interviews featuring some of the web's most prolific women writers and artists. Some you might even know, FranIAm and KarenZipdrive. As you can see, we've got some really kick ass dames coming out for this. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, we'll be posting new interviews.

Our first show is slated for May 11th in Los Angeles. Location TBA. I will keep youse posted. If you're in LA, please e-stalk me for reservations. Tickets are FREE. Parking is 5 bucks. Free appetizers. Cocktails and beverages are totally doable. Nothing crazy price wise. After all, we are in a recession.

GIRLFRIEND, PLEASE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:04:00 +0000

Oh, how I love and appreciate a blog award, especially this one, the Sisterhood Award, from a dame I adore, Liberality Liberal. LL has bestowed this award on some bloggers I am looking forward to reading because their blogs sound way up my alley. One of the bloggers, Mauigirl, I adore sooo much. Thanks Libbylib, I'm a lucky dame.

What I love most about the Sisterhood Award is what it means to me: camaraderie, mutual respect, appreciation for other women, elevating and uplifting, not degrading or disrespecting, and feeling connected, not because all women are going to like each other cause'ns we're of the Vsuasion. Though, it would be great if we could, at the very least be there for each other in some small way. Maybe even help each other achieve our goals, instead of trying to take a sistah' down. That just ain't right. I see a lot of that, as I'm sure we all have, and experienced it, too. Most unfestive, donchya think? Yeah... I know.

The origin of sisterhood, according to Webster's 1350–1400; ME sosterhode. Sisterhood is as vintage an expression as they come. The meanings of sisterhood that resonate the most for me is #1 and #5

1. the state of being a sister.
5.Usually, the sisterhood. the community or network of women who participate in or support feminism.

Are we screaming, Jewgirl, or what? I think so.

Now it's my turn to impart this award to 10 other dames. I will try my best to keep it at 10, but that's gonna be tough. There are so many sisterhood hearted dames who deserve this award.

Fran I Am - Frannylish is unique, she's as religious as she is irreverent. The two live side-by-side so beautifully. I love her for that and everything in between. I've also had coffee with this delightful dame, a day I'll never forget.

I would've chosen Maugirl, but Liberality has already done so. Mauigirl is political, personal and has a series I truly dig, the talking-through-her-cat-series -- hilar.

Next up is Lisa Golden. This broad takes my breath away. You might know her from Unplugged or Politits, her former blogs. Now, she's blogging under her name. I swear to God, I think she writes from her womb. Her Adventures in Parenting series, and blogging about relationship mishigas are pretty deep, she's truly authentic.

How could I possibly leave out a dame I'm just starting to dish with on Facebook and hopefully email soon. We've been reading each other for a year now, I think. I've been crushing on her since I discovered her blog. She goes by Helen Wheels and her blog is Just Ain't Right. Her lady balls are MASSIVE. When it comes to politics, she ladles it from the left, hard. I dare anyone to cross her. Ga'head, try.

This next broad, PulpFriction, kicks ass. The day she was born, God said, "I'm thinking irreverent. No, that's not it. I know, irreverent squared. No, no, no. Hmmm... What should we give her? Oh, I know, a heaping fucking crazy ass dose of IRREVERENCE." She's brilliant!

Anyone who can speak in pirate tongue, regardless of the topic, be it politics, personal, life, whatever, wins my heart. Not only is the Lesbian Pirate Queen a great read, she strikes me as a fascinating dame.

Snackiepoo and I are kinda neighbors. We live in the same part of the stateish. I've been crushing on her since I started reading her blog. She's blunt, brave, beautiful, talented and has a heart of gold. Mind you, she'll probably whack me for saying as much, but I don't care. She is, Blanche, she is.

I think the first comment Teeny left on my blog was "Crushing you with my love". I clicked over to find out more about this broad and I fell hard. Teeny is one of those dames who vomits onto her blog with a dash of daintiness and a heaping dose effervescence.

UtahSavage. Please. A dame who considers herself savage was born with moxie a girl like me only dreams of one day achieving. US is a fantastic writer, dark and soulful.

BorderExplorer is a no nonsense, straight-from-the-hip-one-of-a-kind, broads with that oompha thing going. You know what I mean? She's fulla grit and soul, this gal.

TellingSecrets. Without even realizing it, she's restored my faith in ways I feel, but need not express. The intersection, something I will never forget and always treasure.

Jintrinsique, I owe her an email. That said, what I adore about this dame is that she puts herself, her sexuality, her passion for baking (she's a pro, donchya know), and for life, right there for the world to see, without giving a shit about what anyone thinks about her. She's fearless.

Cup-of-Coffey has a birthday coming up next week! Do not forget to wish this dame a very, very, very happy birthday, a big sexy day. I celebrate Coffey every day, she's a doll, a genuine, kind, good soul. Her love and knowledge of music, especially REM, is unprecedented. She's a good friend, a kick ass blogger and a flawless dame.

If I've left any of my girls out, forgive me, you know you're in the sisterhood!

SPRAWLING ALL OVER FARMHOUSE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie Schwartz) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 01:28:00 +0000

UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE::: THANKS TO MONKEYSTUDMUFFIN'S COMMENT, I HAVE FIXED THE LINK TO BUBBSIE'S ESSAY ON FARMHOUSE. THANKS, MONKEYSTUD

There are a million reasons we love Bubbsie. He's dark:

and funny as hell:

We love his writing, the child can spin a yarn like nobody's business. A few of Bubbsie's treasured topics are Clowns, Alligators, and of course, who could live without his FREAK OF THE WEEK series.

GUESS WHAT, our Bubsielicious has spun a disturbingly sick and funny non-fiction story, running in the spring edition of Farmhouse Magazine. This might be Bubbsie's first stop, that we know of, but one thing we are most certain about is that it's just the beginning -- This kid's got mad writing skills. Click on over and read about his Day With Antonia.