All the World " in Your Head "

എന്റെ ബാല

2024-03-08T13:49:00.000-08:00

Figuring out where to begin is a challenge. Starting from the end and doing a flashback might seem easier, but that wouldn't capture the essence of Bala – a person all about beginnings and restarts in every facet of life. So, let's rewind to the very beginning, where the story of Bala unfolds.

Back in 2005, as we were settling into our new house, transforming it into a home, I first laid eyes on Balan. He was deep in thought, toying with his "stamina sticks" (cigarettes) – a quirky term for those little sticks that make overthinkers like him feel queasy. Running low on my own "stamina sticks," I found myself in a backyard encounter.

There I was, in my yard, and there was Balan on his balcony, just a stone's throw away. Almost like a scene from a quirky movie, Balan tossed his cigarette packet my way and casually said, "Take it." And that marked the beginning of our unique relationship. Looking back, I can't help but wonder if we were friends in previous lives – a connection only the gods might truly understand.

There was an instant liking, an unspoken connection that tied us together. In hindsight, using "each other" seems fitting. If I were to pen down our first meeting on that day, I would have simply written, "I liked him instantaneously." It was the start of something special.

Following that initial encounter, my wife and I paid a visit to Balan's house, and that's when the official introduction to Balan and Devi (whom we affectionately called Devi Aunty) took place. While Balan's company appealed to me, it was Devi Aunty who captured my wife's heart. Her warm smile and welcoming demeanor were infectious, drawing us back to Balan and Devi Aunty’ s place on every possible occasion. I'd say most days found me at Balan's house.

Our friendship kicked off with the simple pleasures of "smokes" and later advanced to the realm of "liquor." The journey was a series of steps, with Bala, true to his nature, taking them one at a time. Yet, each of his steps forward felt like a giant leap for me. "Smoke & Liquor" became the glue of our bond, but it went beyond that. Our connection was rooted in our ability to share our personal situations, finding relief, and often brainstorming solutions together.

What made our relationship unique was the absence of judgment; instead, we simply listened to each other. It was a dialogue where, in the midst of our talks, I might suggest to Bala, "Why not try this or that?" He'd engage in ideation, and then we'd move forward. Bala brought an additional "20 years of age and experience" to the table, while I, in turn, provided a dash of youthful foolishness and the courage that comes with it.

As the days turned into a year, our visits and talks became a frequent and cherished part of our lives. The foundation of our friendship was not just the shared vices of "smoke & liquor," but the genuine connection built on open communication, understanding, and the willingness to support each other through life's challenges.

In 2005, we settled into our new home. A year later, career opportunities led to a move to Mumbai in 2006. Surprisingly, the distance didn't strain my connection with Bala. We kept in touch on every possible occasion. The year 2007 brought us back to Chennai as I geared up for a full-time education journey in 2008 and 2009. Meanwhile, my pregnant wife and son stayed back in Chennai.

During this time, Devi Aunty, stepped up admirably, taking good care of my wife as much as she could. Balan, despite his busy schedule, made a point to visit her whenever he was in town. Despite the physical distance, our conversations remained frequent. Bala would update me on his adventures at the factory, and in turn, I'd share the tales of my college escapades while I was away in the UK pursuing my education. The miles didn't diminish the strength of our bond, and our talks became a bridge connecting our lives despite the geographical separation.

The stretch from 2010 to 2011 brought us face to face with some of life's toughest challenges. In 2009, our family welcomed a new member when my wife gave birth to our son. Yet, amidst the joy, a dark cloud loomed. My mother-in-law faced a fatal accident during the same period. Adding to the struggle, I found myself jobless, eagerly waiting for my dream job to materialize, but it seemed elusive, like kernels popping into popcorn.

That particular year became a financial tightrope walk. Our newborn required frequent hospital visits, and we found ourselves cash strapped. In the midst of this turbulence, Bala stood steadfast by my side, offering more than just a comforting presence. He would simply say, "Take it," without hesitation, asking only, "How much do you need?" This time, it wasn't about smokes; it was about something more critical – money.

Bala's generosity was unwavering, even though he knew, logically, that getting the money back was a distant possibility. It wasn't a decision from his head; it was a choice made from his heart, for the sake of my family. Each time he uttered those two words – "take it" – I couldn't help but express my gratitude. His support became a lifeline during a period when life seemed to throw everything at us at once.

Despite always believing that the day would come when I could say, "Thanks, here's your 'take it' back," it wasn't just about the money. It extended to his vehicles too, both two and four-wheelers. I continued to "take it" for a year, and by June 2011, my period of constantly accepting his generosity came to an end as I moved to another country.

Reflecting on this, I found myself wondering about the source of this man's unwavering confidence in me. Curiosity got the better of me, and I asked him once. His response was simple yet profound – "Your confidence gives me confidence." Here was a man who not only believed in me but took the time to reinforce that belief at every possible opportunity, reminding me to "be confident." His support went beyond material assistance; it was a boost to my self-assurance and a testament to the strength of our friendship.

As I moved abroad, Bala also bid farewell to Chennai, setting up a new chapter in Kottayam. Suddenly, Kottayam became a significant spot on my mental map and in our travel plans. Over the following year, I managed to gratefully settle all the "take its." I was out of debt, yet I couldn't shake off the feeling of being forever "indebted."

Retired from work, Bala, however, didn't retire from his commitment to helping others. His brain kept buzzing with ideas on how to make a positive impact, and all he sought in return was a simple acknowledgment. To keep himself occupied and his mind from wandering, he took to traveling.

Through these experiences, I came to realize that most of us need a non-judgmental shoulder to lean on, someone who listens without passing judgment. Bala embodied that supportive friend who was always there to lend an ear and offer assistance without expecting anything in return.

As life carried on, Bala and I maintained our regular connection. We exchanged emails and caught up on weekends. At the core of Bala's thoughts was always "Devi." He would confide in me, saying, "എടോ തന്റെ ദേവി ആന്റി ഹാപ്പി ആല്ലോ ദോ, എതെ ചെയ്യാൻ പാട്ടും !!!

On one occasion, I floated the idea of Bala and Devi Aunty traveling to Oman, suggesting that we could spend some quality time together. Both Bala and Devi Aunty embarked on a journey to Oman – a vibrant, warm desert with a soul. It was the year 2012, and together, we explored the beauty of Oman, visiting places like Sur, Jabal Shams, and Ras Al Hadd (Turtle Beach). Bala's demeanor reflected relaxation; his Devi was "happy" after a long time. I take a bit of credit for being a part of Devi Aunty’ s maiden foreign trip. From Oman, they ventured into the UAE, where they had a good time exploring.

Bala was not short of friends and relatives. He tirelessly worked to nurture these connections, extending a helping hand whenever possible. He WAS a trusted confidant, a keeper of secrets for many in his circle, always ready to support his friends and relatives in every way he could.

Bala opened up to me about how his decision to move back to Kottayam wasn't great for Devi. He realized that she felt lonely in their Kottayam house, maybe because it brought back not-so-great memories of her childhood. Even though Bala had fixed up their family home and made it look nice, he didn't realize that Devi felt trapped in a place she grew up.

Bala, despite trying really hard, couldn't make their house feel like a home. But here's the thing about him – he never gave up. He faced the failures with a strong front and kept on trying to create a warm home. This time, he got his two sons and their wives involved.

He loved his daughters unconditionally, and he strongly believed that good things would come back to them through karma, despite all the struggles. Bala's story is about facing tough times, failing, but still holding onto hope and working tirelessly for the people he loved.

Our parents would often complain about us taking time away from them to visit my dear Bala. However, my heart didn't have a choice – he was always my priority, just as Devi Aunty was my wife's priority. Time passed by, and one day, I saw a frail Balan. He confided in me that he wasn't well, and he feared his time had come. It broke my heart.

On one of those days, miles away at my home, I felt my soul reaching out to him. I tried calling him, but there was no response. In desperation, I called Devi Aunty, and then I called his son. Devi Aunty answered my call from an ambulance, and hours later, we received the devastating news that my dear Balan had left this world. Time seemed to stop for me.

Every time I think of him, my heart is filled with gratitude towards the universe for the time we had together and the memories we created.

I keep looking for Balan’s but then becoming Bala to someone is more important.

Bala's wisdoms were straightforward yet profound: steer clear of judgment, avoid causing harm, offer help generously, love without conditions, and stay connected. He stressed the significance of not taking relationships for granted, urging us to nurture them with care and diverse elements for enduring connections.

Credits: Bala , Devi , Chix , Sandy , Veena for the painting , ChatGPT for language..

THEY MISSED THE TRAIN

2007-09-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

Who Missed The Train? And why ? Have You Ever Missed the Train?

Here Goes the story..

One of my friend, a very good friend was supposed to come from bangalore to visit me at chennai.I decided to give my friend a surprise, let me receive my friend at the station. The Problem starts. I do not Know which train my friend is coming .My Friend was not reachable at home or office .So how do I give the surprise.

I decided to take my chance, I decided to try my luck .I reached the Railway station by 8.00Pm .The Train From Bangalore was supposed to arrive by 8.30
I was filled up with hope ..I was anxious to meet my friend.

The Headlights of the Train Started beaming and the train started moving slowly into the platform .I was happy, I smiled at myself..here comes my friend . Passenger’s Started moving out of the train My Eagerness to meet my friend increased. I Scanned every face …Every face looked like my friend..But where is my friend? My Scanning became intense .The more I searched ..every one seemed to be my friend , BUT not my friend .

There was a war happening within me. Will my friend turn up or not?
Yes ….No…Yes …….No.., it went ON.The YES finally won .I said to myself my friend will come after all a friend will not bluff another . My thoughts went wild, sadness started creeping in me .I did not allow this to happen .I said to myself ..my friend might be in the last compartment ,so it takes time to reach the main entrance..

One Old man was looked at me and smiling , he was also waiting for someone
may be his wife, maybe his son, may be his daughter or MAY be a Friend. As I looked around …I saw many faces reflecting the same feeling I had in my mind. We were all waiting, waiting for our loved ones to come

All the passengers were out….My friend was not among them .

I decided to wait till the next train arrives, the last train from bangalore …it was at 9.45pm, A big gap for another 35 Minutes …

The War again started, The War within me, I said to myself again and again MY FRIEND WILL COME.

I saw the old man again, we exchanged smiles it was a relieving one ,I Am sure for both of us .I saw many familiar faces ….The Same faces who were waiting .. Smile Started spreading among us, relief was seen on every ones face …Including mine.

The Headlights again started beaming and The train started slowly moving into the platform .I smiled at myself and said MY FRIEND is here in this train .

The Passengers started moving out , I started scanning all the faces ,MY FRIEND is still not to be seen

I saw the old man happy, he was hugging his son. I saw tears in many eyes ,tears because they are meeting their loved ones and some probably because their loved ones did not come . MY FRIEND too did not come. THEY MISSED THE TRAIN.

MY FRIEND did not come ,but I was still happy ,may be because I had hope alive in me …my faith was still strong…MY FRIEND would come. I drove back home, humming and singing the old melodies.

I enter my home and a smile beams at me…MY FRIEND

MY FRIEND too had MISSED THE TRAIN.

If your friendship is pure, Your friend will reach you.
If your faith is strong, you will find your friend, may be not in the train you are waiting for and may be not in the same face you are looking for…

THINK BIG @ LESSER COST

2006-10-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Watching Movies is one of the best pastimes I have. I have been inspired by many a movies, I get too emotional when I watch things on a Screen. In a Theater I can’t cry or laugh my heart out, you know the kind of fear of “Look at this guy Crying” or “Are you Mad” and stuffs like that. Problem 2 : I enjoy having a Beer , may be couple of Whisky over a movie – Which I am sure all of you agree is not possible in India. Problem 3 : The theater do not Screen what you want to Watch , and so I Set sail to Build one on My Own.

I did look at list of What Goes into a Good “THEATER EXPERIENCE”
1. A good Sound System, With Dolby Digital, DTS & 6 Channels of sound Hence I Needed a Good sound Amplifier. I started My Search with This , What I found was Amplifier Starting from as low as 10K to 25 Lakhs , Naturally My Choice Is Narrowed down to brands Like ONKOY , YAMAHA , TECHNICS and few unknown Brands . I narrowed down on YAMAHA – Best Value for money – For a Person Who Has no money to spend. This Cute Little Box - Delivering a 110 W/ Channel and 200 W for Woofer. In Total Delivering a SOUND of 8600 W – PMPO / 860 W RMS, That is Huge for a Room Size of 15 * 12 . I never intend to use it to 100% may be I would end up using 25% . The Quality of Sound is great for Amateur.

www.yamaha.co.jp/english/product/av/index.html

2. The SPEAKERS : What to Choose , The Choice was millions , starting with BOSE , ONKOY , PRO FX … and so ON. You would be Surprised I got my self an Indian Brand. “TORVIN” http://torvin.com/ made in India, More So Made at Chennai, and for me the Owner turned out to be from “GODS OWN COUNTRY”. I fell in Love with the mans passion for music. He turned out that passion into making speakers. One of the Best, I can Vouch. He did show me his Collection of Amps and Speakers. It was Like “VINTAGE CARS”. Each one of them delivering unmatched Quality of Sound, Amplifiers as old as 100 Years, And Speakers may be “few of them the first invented one’. Most Important I fell for his MODESTY, SIMPLISITY - like the products He makes. The Specks seems to match, the Sound Definitely is great. What more he gave it to me at very affordable price. A Set of 5 Speakers ( 2 Tower Speakers , One Centre Speaker , 2 satellite Speakers and a 200 W Massive Subwoofer , The Yamaha Amplifier ) all at 45 K.

www.torvin.com

3. The DISPLAY: I did do all the Wiring in my New built home for accommodating a LCD / A projection / may be an ordinary good TV. My two and half year old son played the most important role in helping me decide what to buy. He is good at breaking most of the things. My TV in the Living room has Already been Split into many parts. The Control units Covers are broken, the remote controls have been Changed may be 5-6 times. The Power cord is his favorite; He pulls the power cord when no one is watching him. His Next Favorite is the TV Screen; he used it like a basketball ring, throws any thing on which he can lay hand on. Knowing my son, it is great risk to have an LCD TV , ( My Laptop Screen Was used as a writing Screen). The Projection TV Holds the same Risk and also it occupies lot of space and the technology is getting outdated. So DO I DROP THE IDEA? I hated that “Moment”. Giving up is what I do best . But not in this case.. I was Determined to have my own theater, I was determined have my bear, Watch a great movie, every possible day of Life.

One fine day I woke up and Told My Wife “I have decided to increase my Screen Size from a 54 inch to a Whooping 120 inches. You guessed it Right “She asked me to go back to Sleep”. No way would I sleep. I was exited about what I found “You get Projectors at half the Price of LCD TV.” So my Search Started, I discovered that LCD projectors are outdated, not fit for movie projection. The Search landed me at TEXAS Instruments Site – Where the DLP Technology was born (Way Back in 1990). Digital Light Processor – Gave Life to Images. A professor’s invention- an array of millions of mirrors in an unimaginable small chip. The DLP was taking over the LCD systems. Most of the new Breed Projectors had the DLP technology, The Intensity of light was as high as 2000, Compared to 300 or 400 of LCD (Ansi LUMENS). The Contrast ration Was As high as 2000:1 , the higher the Contrast Ratio , the Costlier the System. I rung up my friends , my friends friends and their friends and finally I got to see a DEMO of a DLP projector from NEC , ACER and inFOCUS. The Choice was very Clear “ACER” at 52K inclusive of the Installation. But The You Know The Dealer Was So Proactive he never came to pick up the Order and the money. I have Heard Elderly People Say “What Ever happens, Happens for the Good”. And the I Choose inFOCUS at 75K, Still at Half the Price of an LCD TV. With Great Quality, great Features Like Screen resizing, and What Not.

www.infocus.com

If you have noticed I spend only 125K (including The Screen to Project) as Of Now. Still at lesser price than an LCD TV. The Screen Size 2 Times more and No Worry of my Son using the LCD Screen as a Writing Pad- Like he did With My LAPTOP.

4. The FINAL Wrap UP and FINISH: “The Last mile is the LONGEST” and that is what it was. I had already done all the Wiring in my Proposed “THEATER ROOM” .If I had to break the wall, redo the Wiring , and painting and more. All this just to hide the Wires and the Cost of it 50K – To hell with It I would rather Have the Wires Running around the room. But I did not Do that, I decided to do Wooden paneling for the room run all the cables under that, have a small false ceiling. I again called My Best Pals in business. The Proposal I received was all more than 70K.My Budget was not a penny more than 25K.So What next!!! . I am going to do it my self ..Yes I am going to be the carpenter. Being a Carpenter was easy. The Tough part was getting the Wood which any day was Expensive. That is when I read an article about Packing Wood Available at Throw away prices. “Packing wood” does that name ring bells. One can buy loads of it , it’s inexpensive , Once Polished looks great to me. I got Loads of Packing wood for Just about 6 K. Got a Guy to all the dirty work ( modern World Calls it Outsourced) of giving the wood fine finish , Then I outsourced the Polishing Job at 12K. In total for the Wood Paneling it took 10 Long Days, and Another 5 days for the smell of the polish to Vanish. Finally my Little theater was Up and Running. So what did I Spend “One Lakh Fifty Thousand Only”. Nothing like Watching on a BIG SCREEN, Having a Glass of Bear and watching one among the 325 collection of old and new English Movies.