All Things Counter

The Cost of US Military Expenditures

2012-01-24T19:26:00.001-06:00

Queries on Listening

2012-01-08T17:11:00.000-06:00

I was asked to share some queries for Sunrise Friends Meeting this month and thought I'd also share them here. :)

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Preparing some queries has been an interesting, wonderful and sometimes confusing experience for me. (I wasn't quite sure what I was doing!) It was a rich experience to read lots of traditional queries, the writings of other Friends about how queries could be incorporated into worship, and the experiences of others. And the input that Josh and Mike shared was most meaningful to me.

Mike invited me to reflect on the connections between our values/testimonies with our worship, and particularly with our love of silence. The image of "toward teeming" or "flowing toward a center" stuck with me, and it reminded me of Jesus' words that, "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'"

Josh invited me to look deeply into love, how a boundless love is cultivated and shared, and how understanding and love are united together. I really loved the image of using queries as a way to 'open up a space' "between thoughts, and slowing reactions/presumptions." And I saw a strong connection between that kind of openness and the possibility of love in community.

As I started the process of what queries to choose, I reflected on the process itself. If I had to choose one word to summarize Quaker life and worship, it would be listening. Listening is what I am consciously doing when I come to Meeting for Worship. Listening is what I am consciously doing when I reflect on decisions in my own life in relation to my values and relationships with others. And it is what I was unconsciously doing when I wanted to choose a query. Listening is what brings me to treasure silence, to open myself up to my own experience and the experience of others. Listening, for me, cannot be separated from love.

So, with gratitude, I have a few queries about listening this morning.

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“In Compassionate Listening, we do not seek to change those who share with us, we seek only to love them. The more people are loved, the more freedom they have to respond to their own inner truth-which may or may not prompt movement. The only change we can be assured of going into it is that if we truly listen to our fellow human beings, we ourselves will be changed. As a listener, you are taking on the role not of judge or mediator, but of healer.”

- From “Compassionate Listening as Practiced in Alaska” by Cynthia Monroe

Self:

*How has your practice of silence influenced how you listen to and interact with your own experience, whether it be delightful, boring or painful?

*Recall an experience when someone listened to you without judging. What was the impact of that kind of listening?

Community:

*What is the role of listening when we gather together?

*How is listening related to change, individually and as a community?

Society:

*In a society that seeks to 'banish the silence,' how can we offer the healing power of listening to others?

Green Washing

2012-01-06T21:47:00.000-06:00

I still haven't written up my reflection on why simple, sustainable living is one of the key values reflected in this blog. (Never mind that, I haven't been writing much of anything for quite some time!) And instead of trying to do that as a preface to this post, I'll just say that I find daily practices and routines that reflect that value to be really satisfying and enjoyable. So when I write about ways to reduce the ecological impacts of doing my laundry, it's with a smile on my face. :)

It's no secret that a great way to reduce your household carbon footprint is to 1) switch to cold water when you wash your clothes, 2) use only the necessary amount of detergent and 3) hang your clothes out to dry. #1 is really the biggest energy saver - it takes about 3 times the electricity to use hot water in the wash as it does to run the dryer. Doing away with both is significant - the estimates I'm familiar with say you'll cut about 600 kilograms of carbon emissions by doing laundry without hot water or the dryer.

This hasn't been a hardship for us over the years, but it used to get tricky when the weather didn't cooperate (I never mastered the art of freeze drying the laundry). These days I really enjoy using a hanging rack, and I found one that I like so much that I actually wanted to recommend it: the *insert trumpet fanfare here* Moerman Laundry Solutions Y-Airer Indoor Folding Clothes Drying Rack. It easily holds a full load of laundry (3 people), works great inside or out, and folds up so compactly that it slides between our washer and dryer. (At Amazon HERE)

We also hand washed for many years, which takes off another 90 kg or so a year. I also enjoyed the rhythm of this chore, even when it was washing around 20 diapers a day! :) Our faithful Rapid Washer even made the trip with us to Cambodia, where it finally entered its rest due to rust (at Lehman's HERE). We replaced it with the plastic model (HERE), which won't ever rust (but I still miss our Rapid Washer, perhaps due more to nostalgia than to any real advantage). I usually use these in a 5 gallon bucket and have always been really satisfied with how clean our clothes get with this method.

There are other considerations besides just water usage and carbon footprint, chief among which may be highlighted in a recent study of microplastic pollution. Basically, our synthetic materials are shedding in the wash and entering the ecosystems around us at alarmingly high rates. I'm really thinking about some of the items in my wardrobe and keeping an eye out for better understandings of the impacts:

"'Polyester is heavier than water and pollutes bottom sediments where most marine life lives,' he says. Once in the marine system, they get taken up by filter feeders like clams, mussels, and small fish like anchovies, sardines, etc., which are then eaten by larger fish.

"That concerns Browne too. His work with shellfish has shown that once ingested by animals, microplastic can be taken up and stored by tissues and cells. This bioaccumulation of pollutants can have negative consequences for wildlife and humans.

"Courtney Arthur, research coordinator with NOAA Marine Debris Program, says the issue is on NOAA's radar, and expects research on microplastics and the effects on marine life to be a hot topic among scientists over the next few years. But for now, she says, the bottom line is still unclear.

"'We don't know the extent of injury at this point. We do know some marine animals ingest plastics, even down to mollusks like mussels and clams. We know it's possible they could be accumulating in the food chain,' says Arthur. 'All spectrum of marine life has the potential to take in these small particles, but at this point, it's hard to say how much harm is being done.'" (at Grist, HERE, and more HERE at Ecouterre)

Happy washing!

Never Whole

2011-12-12T12:24:00.002-06:00

It was sometime in 1997 that I started reading Wendell Berry. Kenneth introduced me to him, and we would speed walk/race to the 'B' section at Moe's Bookstore in Berkeley to get first chance at the current selection of used books. Berry had an enormous influence on me and his ideas were a big part of a series of decisions to move back to my roots in Missouri and eventually to a farm. Our goal was quite explicit. We were joining friends there to live and work side by side in community. That experiment didn't go as planned (of course), but it was wonderful to me.

Still, we moved to town after only about a year. Then we moved a few miles farther away. Then we moved to Cambodia. Back in Missouri for over a year now, I've been reflecting on how the question of community has followed me everywhere I go.

Which is why I started with Berry.

I haven't read much by Berry in a long time, but I remember him: fragments of poems, the arrangement of words on a page, his ideas debated and adapted in my mind. Other people and ideas influenced me, but it was Berry's voice that articulated what was closest to my own heart and mind. His poem about marriage became a lens through which I viewed the unfolding of community inside and around me:

"It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you,
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole."
(HERE at Google Books)

Looking back, I see how my quest for community led directly to my growing involvement in the conflict transformation and restorative justice movements. And all along the way, Berry's words have followed me like a shadow:

"It is healing. It is never whole."

May everyone be released from all suffering!

Talking to Children

2011-10-22T20:06:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to write this post since Lisa Bloom's piece, "How to Talk to Little Girls," was posted last June (you can read it HERE). In a society where children have become prime targets for advertisement and all the socialization and commercialization that this entails, Lisa's point was both wonderfully important and relevant to all children:

"Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does."

Lisa was encouraging this in the face of all the pressures on little girls to conform to an socially defined image -

"15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart."

And you can tell similar stories for boys, whether it's a pressure to encourage them to participate in rough sports, hunting, violent games and the like, or to discourage them from crying, wearing pink, painting their nails, studying ballet, learning to sew, or exhibiting other 'soft' traits. And that's not even getting into the difficult territory of what happens if gender norms are actually transgressed or you are parenting a child who doesn't want to conform. Speaking from my experience as a boy growing up and now as a father parenting a son, the pressures can be huge and the consequences devastating.

Steven Wineman has described the impact of this kind of gender socialization in this way -

Males are oppressed, victimized, and traumatized primarily during childhood. Feminism correctly identifies boyhood as a period of training and socialization into the role of dominant and into predatory behavior. But childhood is also a period of immense vulnerability during which boys are oppressed and traumatized in ways and to an extent that is typically ignored across the spectrum of political and social analysis. While I will argue that some types of traumatization also occur during adulthood for men, childhood is the primary arena in which males are oppressed and traumatized by patriarchy. The victimization of boys stands alongside - and in many ways is critical for understanding - the dominant roles of men. (SOURCE)

In other words, we treat (and allow children to be treated) in this way because that is what keeps the system of domination going. And this is what makes Lisa Bloom's point so important to me: we need to learn to talk with children and be with children in such a way that shows them respect, that shows them we care, that embodies the values of compassion over consumption, and that gives them a chance to learn a different way - before they are convinced that there is no other way.

Yet this is exactly why having these kinds of conversations can be difficult and requires a few things that are more than a little counter-cultural in themselves. Here are some ideas that I've found aren't always acceptable, especially when it comes to their concrete expressions:

Children have something to say worth hearing. Children are worth my time.
Listening to a child is as important as speaking to a child.
Understanding their experiences is at least as important as directing their experiences.
I can learn from a child.
Treating a child with respect is important, especially if I want them to treat others with respect.
Learning is wonderful, and learning with a child (and watching them learn) is exciting and fun.
A child's purpose in life is NOT to be a consumer, but to grow into a complete human being.

The list could go on. There's a lot of cultural inertia that can make it hard for us to slow down and connect. The result is that we often miss the moments and the accumulation of moments that represent the best opportunity for us to make a real and lasting difference in the world.

Our children are constantly learning. What they learn from us is from watching us and talking with us. Often those moments come when we don't expect them, from birth to adolescence: brushing teeth, doing chores, throwing tantrums, eating dinner, coping with disappointments, running errands, getting ready for bed, and taking care of all the little pieces of life. Those moments are all important, as are the conversations that happen in the midst of them. Lisa Bloom took a moment to transform a before-bedtime conversation into something wonderful, but she had to make a conscious decision to do so. And that's an important piece of the puzzle: we've all been socialized, too. It takes a conscious decision, again and again.

Talking with our children in ways that show reciprocity, respect, compassion and care is a path of freedom. But it's not just our children's happiness and freedom that is at stake: it is our own.

I Go to Walk at Twilight (a found poem)

2011-10-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

Now, long after starlight,
I see some of those
high-pillared clouds
of the day, still

reflecting a downy light
in the midst of
the deepening shadows
of the night.

The dorbugs hum around me
as I sit on the river-bank
beyond the ash tree.
Warm is the night.

There is a low arc
of a circle, in the north.
The twilight ends and
there is no moon.

***

I've always enjoyed composing found poems. This one, which I composed last August, is from the journal of Henry David Thoreau, the entry of 12 July 1852. (Available as a pdf HERE)

Homeschooling

2011-10-02T16:09:00.001-05:00

Last year I made a big transition, becoming a stay-at-home, homeschooling dad. I've been meaning to post something about it for quite some time, but I keep finding that I have so much I'd like to say that it's hard to find time to get it all organized. So here it goes, without really getting it straight in my head before letting the rambling begin. ;)

We had always entertained the option of homeschooling, but our choice was initially more practical: we moved to Cambodia as John was due to enter kindergarten. The choice was pretty simple then, where options, big adjustments, and finances all made homeschooling an obvious choice. But why now, when back in the USA?

To be clear, it wasn't because we hate the public schools. In fact, I worked for 3 semesters in the public school system as a remedial reading/math tutor for 3rd and 4th graders - and loved it. There were things I thought should be changed, but, on the whole, it was a great experience. And a few of the teachers were incredibly inspiring. Similarly, our choice was not religiously motivated. (If you are unsure of what I mean by this, peruse "Homeschooling Blindspots," HERE, to get a glimpse of this subculture.)

No, we chose homeschooling because we thought it was the best option for providing a good education for our son (now in grade 4). We had two main questions when considering our options: 1) what option is most likely to give our child the most (and most appropriate) opportunities to learn? and 2) what option is most likely to develop a lifelong love of learning? And I'm writing now because of some recent articles that provide some good examples of why we thought "Homeschool" was the best answer to both of those questions.*

1. Individualized Instruction

A recent study comparing homeschooled and public schooled children showed that

"Structured homeschooling may offer opportunities for academic performance beyond those typically experienced in public schools," says first author Sandra Martin-Chang, a professor in the Concordia Department of Education, noting this is among the first nonpartisan studies to investigate home education versus public schooling.

Published in the Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, the investigation compared 74 children living in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick: 37 who were homeschooled versus 37 who attended public schools. Participants were between 5 and 10 years old and each child was asked to complete standardized tests, under supervision of the research team, to assess their reading, writing, arithmetic skills, etc.

"Although public school children we assessed were performing at or above expected levels for their ages, children who received structured homeschooling had superior test results compared to their peers: From a half-grade advantage in math to 2.2 grade levels in reading," says Martin-Chang. "This advantage may be explained by several factors including smaller class sizes, more individualized instruction, or more academic time spent on core subjects such as reading and writing." (SOURCE)

Although I have some concerns about this study, I have found that the individualized instruction possible in homeschooling has the double benefit of teaching to the student's strengths and matching instruction to the student's development. We could move ahead quickly in certain subjects that John enjoyed and excelled in while going slow with others. School becomes less frustrating and more enjoyable.

2. Missing Content

Individualized instruction combined with many fewer time restraints (e.g., classroom discipline) also frees up more time for learning. My experience in the public school classroom (as a student and as a teacher) showed me that there are some very natural time constraints that come from managing and teaching a large group of students that disappear in the homeschool environment. But of more pressing concern are the gaps in the curriculum.

The lack of understanding of basic science concepts (like evolution) was, I confess, a primary motivator for me to homeschool. The situation, as described in a study I quoted in my post, "Hindering Scientific Literacy" (HERE), is very difficult:

The researchers examined data from the National Survey of High School Biology Teachers, a representative sample of 926 public high school biology instructors. They found only about 28 percent of those teachers consistently implement National Research Council recommendations calling for introduction of evidence that evolution occurred, and craft lesson plans with evolution as a unifying theme linking disparate topics in biology.

In contrast, Berkman and Plutzer found that about 13 percent of biology teachers "explicitly advocate creationism or intelligent design by spending at least one hour of class time presenting it in a positive light." Many of these teachers typically rejected the possibility that scientific methods can shed light on the origin of the species, and considered both evolution and creationism as belief systems that cannot be fully proven or discredited.

Berkman and Plutzer dubbed the remaining teachers the "cautious 60 percent," who are neither strong advocates for evolutionary biology nor explicit endorsers of nonscientific alternatives. "Our data show that these teachers understandably want to avoid controversy," they said. (SOURCE)

And last week the Southern Poverty Law Center released a study, Teaching the Movement (HERE), that documents how well public schools in the USA teach about the civil rights movement. The results were really dismal:

Among other things, the study found that:

A shocking number of states—35—received grades of “F”;

Sixteen of those states, where local officials set specific policies and requirements for their school districts, have no requirements at all for teaching about the movement;

Only three states received a grade of “A”—Alabama, New York and Florida—and even these states have considerable room for improvement; and

Generally speaking, the farther away from the South—and the smaller the African-American population—the less attention paid to the movement.

“For too many students their civil rights education boils down to two people and four words: Rosa Parks, Dr. King and ‘I have a dream,’” said Maureen Costello, the director of Teaching Tolerance. “When 43 states adopted Common Core Standards in English and math, they affirmed that rigorous standards were necessary for achievement. By having weak or non-existent standards for history, particularly for the civil rights movement, they are saying loud and clear that it isn’t something students should learn.” (SOURCE)

Missouri was one of the states earning an "F." (You can see Missouri's report card HERE, find your own state HERE, or test your own knowledge HERE.) From my own career as a student in Missouri public schools, I can tell you that I learned very little about the civil rights movement. And looking at the 400+ page textbook we are using to study Missouri history this year, just about two pages (and one photo) are given to the topic.

This is NOT to say that I think every subject has to be covered in a certain way. I am much more interested in John learning and loving to learn than simply checking off a list of compulsory topics. But there are certain topics that are crucial, I think, to learning and loving to learn. So I'm not too worried if John learns about Ruby Bridges and not Rosa Parks, but his experience of American History is terribly incomplete without learning about the Civil Rights Movement.

Okay, that's enough for now. I've said more than most of you probably are interested in reading and not enough to really address the topic. But it's a start. :)

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*This isn't to say that there aren't other advantages to homeschooling. For example, I spent a LOT of time away at work from John's birth to age 5. And although I've always had a strong bond with him, I missed a lot of things. I LOVE getting the extra time with John now. We are having a lot of fun and building an even stronger bond. But I would not, under normal circumstances, choose homeschooling because I wanted more time with my son.

Color Connections Calculator

2011-09-29T21:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, our thrift-shopping, rag-hoarding ways have finally made us fashionably unfashionable. ;)

You can check your own environmental impact at -

Household EcoMetrics

Welcome to the Colour Connections Calculator which allows you to assess the environmental impact of the choices you make when you buy, care for and dispose of your household textiles.

It was kind of fun to find something that actually interpreted our cold-water washing, hang drying, recycling ways as something GOOD, instead of just bizarre.....

A Good Belly Laugh Every Day

2011-08-31T07:21:00.002-05:00

A recent study showed that laughter had a positive, expanding effect on blood vessels, whereas increased stress resulted in vasoconstriction and reduced blood flow. To measure this, volunteers watched movie segments while scientists monitored their body response. In sum:

When study volunteers watched the stressful movie, their blood vessel lining developed a potentially unhealthy response called vasoconstriction, reducing blood flow.... However, after watching the funny movie, the blood vessel lining expanded. ...

The endothelium has a powerful effect on blood vessel tone and regulates blood flow, adjusts coagulation and blood thickening, and produces chemicals in response to injury and inflammation. It also plays an important role in the development of cardiovascular disease.

"The endothelium is the first line in the development of atherosclerosis or hardening of the arteries, so it is very possible that laughing on a regular basis may be useful to incorporate as part of an overall healthy lifestyle to prevent heart disease. In other words, eat your veggies, exercise and get a good belly laugh every day" says Dr. Miller. (SOURCE)

Although the authors rightly called for more studies to compare impacts of positive emotions with standard heart care, this is a recipe for good health and long life that I can thoroughly enjoy. ;)

You Have Enemies?

2011-08-30T14:19:00.005-05:00

Someone recently shared a quote attributed to Winston Churchill with me -

‎"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."

The point this someone was trying to make was that we shouldn't be driven by others' approval, that it is okay to take steps that are consistent with your values even if it means you lose something socially, financially, etc. But... what about this enemy language?

I mean, I really connected with the need for encouragement and courage, for the strength to embrace the importance of my own and my family's needs. But a big part of the peace journey (for me) is keeping curious and empathetic, and enemy language too quickly sucks me into the path of dehumanization, labeling, and justified misunderstanding.

As an alternative to making enemies, I kept thinking about Liu Xiaobo's final statement before his prison sentence. It's named "I Have No Enemies," yet it is expressed by someone who has definitely stood up for something in his life and at great cost. For example,

"But I still want to tell the regime that deprives me of my freedom, I stand by the belief I expressed twenty years ago ... — I have no enemies, and no hatred. None of the police who have monitored, arrested and interrogated me, the prosecutors who prosecuted me, or the judges who sentence me, are my enemies. ...

For hatred is corrosive of a person’s wisdom and conscience; the mentality of enmity can poison a nation’s spirit, instigate brutal life and death struggles, destroy a society’s tolerance and humanity, and block a nation’s progress to freedom and democracy. I hope therefore to be able to transcend my personal vicissitudes in understanding the development of the state and changes in society, to counter the hostility of the regime with the best of intentions, and defuse hate with love." (SOURCE)

As for me, I can see very clearly where my path lies. :)

May all be well and happy!

**********************

You might also be interested in my earlier posts,

"Enemy Images, and a View from Palestine" (HERE),

"The Importance of Well Wishing" (HERE),

or even "Guests & Hosts: Heaping Coals,

Building Trust, and Transforming Conflict" (HERE).

Youth, Crime and Happiness

2011-08-23T13:04:00.003-05:00

I've been involved in working with youth and children in vulnerable and/or marginal circumstances for many years. Thankfully, I usually get to be in a role that focuses on connecting with the youth, building a relationship, and supporting their well-being. But I've watched how others have to struggle through a system that is all too often punitive, suspicious, and alienating. Both the cultures and systems that youth/children come out of (e.g., a violent home, a broken community) and are put within (e.g., an overburdened juvenile justice system, an understaffed family services division) are commonly places of stress and exhaustion. There's a reason for cynicism and burnout among social services providers. And there's a correlation between these types of environments and the poor choices teens may eventually make.

Researchers at UC Davis have been investigating this correlation. They began by analyzing -

"1995 and 1996 data from nearly 15,000 seventh- to ninth-grade students in the federally funded National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, the largest, most comprehensive survey of adolescents ever undertaken.

"They found that about 29 percent of the youth surveyed reported having committed at least one criminal offense, and 18 percent said that they had used at least one illegal drug." (SOURCE)

But what makes this study significant is what they did next -

"The researchers then correlated these reports with self-assessments of emotional well-being." (SOURCE)

Reading the article, it occurred to me how little this step is taken. In fact, I couldn't think of any previous study that specifically looked into the link between emotional well-being and crime by youth. And the results?

"Their research finds that happier adolescents were less likely to report involvement in crime or drug use. Adolescents with minor, or nonclinical, depression had significantly higher odds of engaging in such activities."

"The study also found that changes in emotions over time matter.

"Adolescents who experienced a decrease in their level of happiness or an increase in the degree of their depression over a one-year period had higher odds of being involved in crime and of using drugs." (SOURCE)

The researchers also noted that -

"Most adolescents experience both happiness and depression, and the study finds that the relative intensity of these emotions is also important. The odds of drug use were notably lower for youth who reported that they were more often happy than depressed, and were substantially higher for those who indicated that they were more depressed than happy." (SOURCE)

So that the issue was not merely the experience of emotions like happiness or depression, but how the youth related to those emotions. And the patterns within that intra-relationship were learned in community -

"... the benefits of happiness -- from strong bonds with others, a positive self-image and the development of socially valued cognitive and behavioral skills -- reinforce a decision-making approach that is informed by positive emotions ... . " (SOURCE)

I know some might respond with a "well, isn't that obvious?" shrug of the shoulders, but these kinds of studies could help providers of social services make profound changes in programming - and themselves - that could, in turn, lead to profound changes in our youth and communities. We need to be asking questions like -

What is happening within children and youth that makes happiness a deterrent to crime?
What needs are children trying to meet when they choose crime out of a sense of unhappiness?
What resources do children and youth need to support healthy emotional development and sustain well-being?
Should we - and how can we - shift emphasis from discouraging bad behavior and negative emotions to encouraging positive habits and emotions?
What new training do social services providers need to understand this emotional development?
How accessible are these resources to our communities so that children can be supported before they turn to crime?

The good news is that these type of questions are being asked around the world. For example, the restorative justice movement has recognized that offending youth very often end up more alienated from their communities and more likely to continue criminal activities after going through the justice system the first time. One response to this dilemma is the use of Family Group Conferences, which provides the possibility for the victim to find answers, relationships to be healed, the youth to be re-integrated, and the community to be strengthened.

However, the research also raises the question of how we care for and raise our children. Many forces influence our parenting attitudes and practices, forces connected to interests that don't care at all about the happiness of our children or communities. So the questions - and the changes - must come closer and not be relegated to those in the justice system, the family services division, and the public schools. A commitment to healthy child development and supportive parenting practices needs to be welcomed into our homes, religious centers, and even our public places.

A child's happiness cannot be separated from the community's happiness. And in the "war on crime," it turns out that emotional well-being should be our most important goal.

A Self-Compassion Meditation by Thoreau

2011-07-27T21:29:00.004-05:00

I was reading Henry David Thoreau's Journal and came across this:

May I treat myself with more and more respect and tenderness.

May I not forget that I am impure and vicious.

May I not cease to love purity.

May I go to my slumbers as expecting to arise to a new and more perfect day.

May I so live and refine my life as fitting myself
for a society ever higher than I actually enjoy.

May I treat myself tenderly as I would treat the most innocent child whom I love;
may I treat children and my friends as my newly discovered self.

Let me forever go in search of myself; never for a moment think that I have found myself; be as a stranger to myself, never a familiar, seeking acquaintance still.

May I be to myself as one is to me whom I love, a dear and cherished object.

... May I dream not that I shunned vice;
may I dream that I loved and practiced virtue.

***

This is at the very end of the entry for July 16, 1851.

You can download the journal HERE as a 3.3 mb pdf file.

(This selection is on page 18 of 44 of that file.)

I Know How I Feel: Children, Emotional Fluency and Aggression

2011-07-25T17:27:00.003-05:00

For all of you with children in your life, one of the most important things you can do is support those children to recognize, understand and process their feelings. Modeling empathy and emotional fluency is one of the best gifts you can give to them and, it turns out, to all of society.

A recent University of Illinois study demonstrated that

parents play an important role in helping children learn how to regulate and express their emotions. ... "When children are upset, it's better if you can talk with them and help them work through their emotions rather than sending them to their room to work through their feelings on their own. Young children, especially little boys who are prone to feeling negative emotions intensely, need your comfort and support when their emotions threaten to overwhelm them," Engle said. (SOURCE)

Another study presented at the Pediatric Academic Societies made a similar connection between supportive parenting and bullying.

Parents who share ideas and talk with their child, and who have met most or all of their child's friends are less likely to have children who bully, Dr. Shetgiri said. (SOURCE)

Unfortunately, many parents don't have emotional regulation skills themselves, making it difficult to model them for their children. Add to that cultural pressures (spoken and silent) to coerce children to perform in socially acceptable ways and parents are apt to miss the opportunity to really connect with their children.

For example, the University of Illinois study investigated

"... two types of parental reactions to children's negative emotions. One type of reaction was to minimize their child's emotions; for example, a parent might say, 'Stop behaving like a baby.' Another type of reaction was punishing the child for these emotions. A parent might send the child to his room for crying or being upset, or take away a toy or a privilege," Engle said. (SOURCE)

And the result?

When children reached 39 months, parents answered questionnaires about their child's current behavior problems.

Moms and dads who were apt to punish their kids for their fears and frustrations were more likely to have children who were anxious and withdrawn at the time of the second assessment. And the effect was especially pronounced for boys who had been identified as having a high incidence of negative emotions at 33 months, she said. (SOURCE)

The importance of having someone in their lives that can model emotional regulation is even greater for children at risk for overwhelming and traumatic stress. A study conducted by the Stanford University School of Medicine and Lucile Packard Children's Hospital

examined children living in a violent, low-income neighborhood and documented an unexpectedly strong link between abuse, trauma and neglect and the children's mental and physical health: It reported, for instance, that children experiencing four types of trauma were 30 times more likely to have behavior and learning problems than those not exposed to trauma.

"In communities where there is violence, where children are exposed to events such as shootings in their neighborhoods, kids experience a constant environmental threat," said senior author Victor Carrion, MD, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford. "Contrary to some people's belief, these children don't get used to trauma. These events remain stressful and impact children's physiology." (SOURCE)

This is enormously important. In the first place, the study showed that there is a significant correlation between child exposure to stress and social problems.

Two-thirds of the children in the study had experienced at least one category of adversity, and 12 percent experienced four or more categories. An adversity score of 4 or higher left kids 30 times as likely to show learning and behavior problems and twice as likely to be obese as those with a score of 0. Children with an adversity score of 1 were 10 times as likely to have learning and behavior problems as those not exposed to trauma. (SOURCE)

In the second place, those children are usually NOT getting the healing support that they (and we, as a society) need.

The findings provide compelling evidence that pediatricians should routinely screen children for trauma exposures, said Carrion, who is also a child psychiatrist at Packard Children's.

"As simple as it may seem, physicians do not ask about trauma," he said. "And kids get the wrong diagnoses." (SOURCE)

But it gets worse, since

a physician unaware of the fact that a child experienced trauma, and noting the child's physiological hyperarousability and cognitive difficulties, may diagnose ADHD instead of PTSD. That's a problem because the two disorders have opposite treatments, he said. Kids with PTSD need psychotherapy, not the stimulant medications given for ADHD.

"Children can recover from PTSD with the appropriate treatment, which is one of approach and not avoidance," Carrion said. "By not asking about trauma, we're utilizing avoidance. We're perpetuating PTSD." (SOURCE)

So what do we do? If you've read this far, I would guess that these issues are important to you. So maybe you won't mind one more quote for the University of Illinois study.

"When parents punish their toddlers for becoming angry or scared, children learn to hide their emotions instead of showing them. These children may become increasingly anxious when they have these feelings because they know they'll face negative consequences," Engle said.

The researchers are intrigued with the finding that little boys were especially affected when they're not supported during times of fear or frustration.

"In our culture, boys are discouraged from expressing their emotions. If you add parental punishment to these cultural expectations, the outcome for boys who often experience negative emotions may be especially detrimental," Engle said. (SOURCE)

In response, there are really practical and obvious things that we can do for the children in our lives. The first is:

Work on your own emotional fluency and regulation. There's no substitute.

The second is:

Identify the times and places where you are most likely to respond to children's emotional outbursts with your own anger, apathy, or other unsupportive response. Explore that experience in yourself and try to understand why you experience it in that way. This is an essential part of the modeling process. Otherwise, you won't be able to really be present for a child when they need you most.

The third is:

Respond to children and their emotions with empathy and curiosity. This can be more difficult than it sounds. A child's emotional outburst is rarely convenient and society puts a lot of pressure on adults to control children, rather than connect with them. Be prepared to deal with the difficult balance if you commit to supporting children.

Finally,

If you are a doctor, nurse, school teacher, or person in a similar position, you can also begin to integrate practices for identifying trauma when dealing with health and behavioral problems.

But whatever choices we make, our children need us. And we should realize that our reactions to them lay the foundations for the world we live in tomorrow. Connection or coercion, empathy or aggression, the future is heir to the decisions we make today.

Sleepiness and Conflict

2011-07-11T11:54:00.006-05:00

One of the most common experiences I've had (both personally and in roles such as a mediator) is that conflict often keeps us awake at night. Our minds run wild reliving what happened, imagining how things could have gone differently and dreaming what might happen next, including those terrible and wonderful revenge fantasies.

But how universal are these kinds of experiences? A recent study published by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine explored this possibility of a connection between sleepiness and increased aggression. Although using a relatively small sample (108 college students), the results demonstrated -

"... that sleepiness was positively correlated with counterfactual thinking, which involves thoughts about how events in the past could have been different. Sleepier people were more likely to imagine how outcomes could have been better than reality and think about how the behavior of others could have produced better outcomes. In contrast, sleepier people were not more likely to imagine how their own behavior could have produced better outcomes. Sleepiness also was positively correlated with all three subscales of displaced aggression: angry rumination, behavioral displaced aggression and revenge planning.

"According to the authors, research has shown that sleepiness negatively impacts mood and impairs the integration of emotion and cognitions when making moral judgments. However, no prior studies had investigated how sleepiness affects social cognitions such as counterfac¬tual thinking and displaced aggression." (SOURCE)

I was especially interested in the phrases referring to the tendency of sleepier people to "think about how the behavior of others could have produced better outcomes" while being "not more likely to imagine how their own behavior could have produced better outcomes" - more easily put as 'blaming others.' In my experience, if a conflict is spiraling out of control, blame is usually right in the middle of it, acting both as a barrier to a) better understanding (of self, other and circumstances) and b) an ability to think creatively about solutions, as well as a slippery slope to the making of grudges and plans of revenge.

If supported by further studies, the practical implications are obvious, such as business policies and schedules that support employees getting good rest. And while we wait for more research to be done, it wouldn't hurt to try it out. Next time you are feeling angry, grumpy, and vengeful, use the wisdom we still employ with our little ones.

Take a nap. ;)

The New TLC

2011-07-03T13:50:00.004-05:00

Sometimes, it turns out, we just need a little TLC - that's Therapeutic Life Changes. ;)

It probably isn't surprising that more research is showing how focusing on developing new habits - like "exercise, nutrition and diet, relationships, recreation, relaxation and stress management, religious or spiritual involvement, spending time in nature, and service to others" - can be just as effective in treating "mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety," as drugs and counseling. (SOURCE)

But REMEMBERING this can be more tricky. As Roger Walsh of the University of California, Irvine's College of Medicine put it,

Difficulties associated with using TLCs are the sustained effort they require, and "a passive expectation that healing comes from an outside authority or a pill," according to Walsh. He also noted that people today must contend with a daily barrage of psychologically sophisticated advertisements promoting unhealthy lifestyle behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol, and eating fast food. "You can never get enough of what you don't really want, but you can certainly ruin your life and health trying" lamented Walsh. (SOURCE)

Similarly, I've noticed a common obstacle to making beneficial changes is simply how constantly we tend to focus on the aspects of ourselves we want to change, accidentally reinforcing the very behaviors we want to abandon. As I wrote HERE, about how "our habits of thinking becom[e] actual patterns in our brains"-

The Bad News: changing really ingrained thinking habits might be compared to filling in a canyon, one shovel full at a time. In reality, the water keeps flowing and washes away our work. The Good News: new habits of thinking can be started comparatively easily, diverting some of the water into new paths, and can create canyons just as deep over time. In other words, concentrating on forming new habits is more fruitful than trying to fight against old habits.

The real key seems to be finding ways to keep your attention on the new instead of focusing our fighting the old. Community and culture are often essential elements.

Which is part of why, I think, Walsh emphasized that -

encouraging widespread adoption of therapeutic lifestyles by the public is likely to require wide-scale measures encompassing educational, mental, and public health systems, as well as political leadership. (SOURCE)

And there may be another element here, too. TLCs are often associated with increased enjoyment of life. I would guess this has to do with enjoying the new habit/hobby and experiencing the relief of not dwelling so much on aspects of ourselves that needed changed. Whatever the reasons, a meta-analysis of studies on the impacts of mood states revealed that happiness is correlated to better health and longer life. Ed Diener, University of Illinois professor emeritus of psychology, explained -

While happiness might not by itself prevent or cure disease, the evidence that positive emotions and enjoyment of life contribute to better health and a longer lifespan is stronger than the data linking obesity to reduced longevity, Diener said.

"Happiness is no magic bullet," he said. "But the evidence is clear and compelling that it changes your odds of getting disease or dying young."

"Although there are a handful of studies that find opposite effects," Diener said, "the overwhelming majority of studies support the conclusion that happiness is associated with health and longevity. Current health recommendations focus on four things: avoid obesity, eat right, don't smoke, and exercise. It may be time to add 'be happy and avoid chronic anger and depression' to the list." (SOURCE)

So, may all creatures be well and happy! :)

Simplicity, One Year Later

2011-06-26T20:23:00.001-05:00

As part of reflecting on our one year anniversary of returning to the USA, I'm hoping to post something on each of the key values that shape this weblog.

******

One of the trickiest things in returning to America was also returning to the old struggle of living simply and sustainably. It's no secret that the pressure is on to consume and that we find ourselves enmeshed in that system in ways we wouldn't have guessed or maybe even noticed. For me, this struggle is also essentially connected with nonviolence. Consumption and greed are never far behind the violence that plagues our world. So this exercise is economical, political and spiritual all at once.

In February, we bought a house and learning to live in it has been a big part of learning to live sustainably. Here's where we are in the process:

We chose a relatively small house - less than 900 square feet - with a big yard - about .45 acre. We were looking for both traits. For example, a smaller living space puts natural limits on how much we can own and the big yard has good potential for gardening, birding and other outdoor activities.

We had an energy audit conducted and are currently in the process of weatherization. This is a big deal as our home maxed out on the leaky end of the spectrum, had a natural gas leak, and needed significant repairs to the duct plenum and exhaust flu.

We signed up for participation in our local utility company's wind energy program so that all of our electricity is dependent on renewable energy rather than coal. (More HERE)

We also are electric-aware in terms of managing how many electric appliances we are using and keeping them turned off when not in use. Additionally, we decided against using air conditioning and an electric dryer. (We have a nice collapsible drying rack for indoor use and a clothesline outside that work fantastically.) So we've been using between 150 and 200 kWh of electricity each month (the spike was from the sub pump when the half basement flooded in our huge spring rain!).

In terms of water use, we turned down the supply valves on sinks and share flush the toilet. Although still higher than we'd like, our water consumption has been under 1,500 gallons a month for 3 people.

We have tried to limit our waste production. We currently have about a plastic bag size of trash each week. This allows us to do without trash service (a friend lets us share). We compost most of our paper waste and recycle almost everything else.

A big area of growth for us is in food consumption. Our dairy consumption levels are not sustainable (ice cream!) and we don't yet have the budget for organically grown produce. We are making plans for gardening next year with the hopes of eventually growing a significant portion of our food.

Although we'd like to get our utility usage even lower, this was a good start. (This is especially so since John and I homeschool and spend most of every day at the house.) The 2009 average residential usage for electricity was over 900 kWh a month (LINK). Average water consumption is over 69 gallons per person a day (LINK). We aren't using coal or nuclear energy to power our home. It's too early to know how we'll do limiting our natural gas usage (furnace and water heater), but the weatherization should help.

There are also little habits we've been trying to establish as part of making our daily living more sustainable. Such as:

Holly is riding the bike to work 3-4 days a week.
We are still vegetarians. :)
I LOVE cooking (or learning to cook!), which means less processed food and less waste. We also have a grain grinder that is wonderful for wheat, nut butters, and lots of other yummy stuff.
We like picking fruit. Right now we are stemming and freezing this year's crop of blueberries.
We buy all our clothes (except shoes and underwear) from the thrift store. This perhaps isn't the best option, but used is a more sustainable and equitable choice than unfair trade goods.

We definitely have a long way to go, but we feel encouraged by our first year of trying to live more simply and sustainably in the USA. :)

One Year

2011-06-26T14:56:00.002-05:00

It's official. I've been back in the USA for one whole year.

It's been quite the journey and I've been especially reflective over the last several weeks. And maybe I'll even get around to sharing some of it. ;)

In the meantime, to all our friends from Cambodia, thank you again! And to all our friends who have welcomed us back, thank you!

Cambodian Buddhism and Social Activism

2011-06-06T21:43:00.008-05:00

In light of the recent pagoda ban against Venerable Sovath (more HERE), I'd like to write just a little bit about politics and Cambodian Buddhism. But I don't want to give the impression that I am any type of expert on this subject; what I write is based on my experiences and observations while living in Cambodia, combined with some basic study of the history of the sangha there. In other words, my impressions may be inaccurate, but I'm offering them as a way to help some of my western friends interested in the Venerable's case to understand the situation a bit better.

Here are the basics of the case. The Venerable Sovath is a young monk (31 years old) from Siem Reap province. At least since March 2009, when a collection of police, military police, border police and soldiers opened fire on a group of rice farmers in Chi Kreng (more HERE), the Venerable has been very active in supporting communities under threat of violent evictions and other injustices. During that time, the Venerable has come under increasing pressure from the powers that be, including facing the threat of de-frocking and arrest. But the Venerable responds to this pressure with a great deal of equanimity, something that really impressed me in the time I spent with him, whether he was being trailed by police or threatened over the telephone. (You can read a little more about him and his response to pressure HERE.)

Another important part - and probably what has made the Venerable's work so influential and his case so visible - is that he is an artist. And with his artist's eye, he began documenting injustice through film using anything from a videophone to flip-cams. This aspect of his and others' work brought recognition from Witness in December 2010 (gala announcement HERE). (You can read more about the Venerable and his use of multimedia HERE).

Why is this contreversial? The existence of socially active monks is not unknown in Cambodia. Its most famous representative would be Maha Ghosananda, who was instrumental in activities like reconciliation efforts, disarming, and AIDS awareness/prevention in the decades following the Khmer Rouge. However, Cambodian Buddhism has always been complicated (at least to my understanding!) and there are some historical reasons and contexts why socially active monks face difficulties in Cambodia.

In the first, it's important to realize just how much of the infrastructure in Cambodia was destroyed during the Khmer Rouge and the following years of Civil War. The Buddhist Sangha was not exempt from this. The number I heard most often was that only a few thousand of the approximately 60,000 monks before the Khmer Rouge survived those terrifying years. In some ways, Cambodian Buddhism is ancient; in other ways, it is only a few decades old.

In the second, there are two main branches of Theravadan Buddhism within Cambodia, each of which have variations within them. The smaller group is the Dhammayuttika Nikaya. In general, the Dhammayuttika has been both more concerned with reform (e.g., increasing monastic discipline and eliminating superstitious and what are considered non-Buddhist practices) and with social engagement (e.g., monks involved with providing AIDS treatment or education).

The Maha Nikaya is the much larger branch. And what was almost immediately evident from my first interactions with Cambodian Buddhists was the common emphases on rote memorization of Pali Scriptures and ceremonies with the promised result of immediate (this-worldly) good results. (In my understanding, this is especially true of the boran sect, which is an very conservative movement within the Maha Nikaya.) The leadership of the Maha Nikaya have also been aligned with the government. For example, they consistently criticize (and advocate arrest) of any monk being involved in anything that could be interpreted as political, appoint politicized lay committees who can regulate the activities of wats (to report and prevent any political/social activities), and provide ritual services for high profile politicians that promise political and financial success. (This is why, for instance, there is so much wat construction across Cambodia, despite the existence of huge social problems and lack of infrastructure and resources to address them.)

On the other end of the Maha Nikaya spectrum are two other movements - the Modernists and the Young Monks. I only vaguely heard of the latter; they had been very active in opposing government leaders and policies. However, the Modernists are close to what most Westerners probably envision when they think about socially engaged Buddhism, open to re-interpreting Buddhist traditions to meet today's challenges and advocating social development. In addition to Maha Ghosananda (who died in 2007) and Venerable Sovath, there are monks and lay people who are interested in teaching meditation to community activists, providing care to the sick, teaching about nonviolence, or providing other such community services.

My experience was that these differences are not only tricky to understand but also unfortunate in their divisiveness beyond Cambodian Buddhism. The Modernist movement is most attractive to Western donors and community activists; this was certainly true for me. I remember feeling very frustrated that Cambodians had all these incredible culturally-appropriate resources available to them from within Buddhism (e.g., mindfulness meditation) but that they focused instead on meaningless (see my judgement!) repetition of forms and extravagant merit-making building projects. On the flip side, the government is attracted to the conservative movement, which can promise them success in return for employing their ritual services and supporting the sangha financially. The result is that people align themselves with one of these groups and become enemies with others.

The Venerable Sovath's actions threaten the positions and the continued government patronage of those in leadership of the Maha Nikaya. For example,

“He has been involved in politics,” Non Ngeth [the supreme patriarch of the Maha Nikaya] wrote of Loun Savath. “He joined protests with villagers and has gone everywhere with human rights activists, which is an abuse of Buddha’s rules.” (SOURCE)

In turn, the Patriarch's reactions reinforce the NGO and donor communities' low opinion of the Cambodian sangha. For example,

"Ou Virak, director of the Cambodian Center for Human Rights, said Non Ngeth’s letter was its own political abuse of Buddhism, which does not prohibit social activism." (SOURCE)

If I am honest, I agree with the latter position. But, even recognizing this, I can also acknowledge the conditions that work together to set person against person, monk against monk, community activist against politician. Understanding is the beginning of love and the only way forward in situations like this. As Donald Rothberg wrote,

"Yet the inner difficulties are perhaps more daunting than the outer difficulties, for they can paralyze and end our engagement. We must somehow sustain ourselves over a lifetime and work with and through such challenges as burnout, despair and hopelessness, fear, an often burning anger at injustice that can become destructive to ourselves and those around us, a sense of isolation, interpersonal differences and tensions within groups and organizations, cynicism, grief, and a sense of being overwhelmed by pain and suffering." (The Engaged Spiritual Life, HERE)

May all people be free from suffering! :)

Golden-Collared Manakins

2011-06-06T09:33:00.003-05:00

I've been watching videos of Golden-Collared Manakins this morning, like THIS ONE.

It all started with an article (HERE) about their courtship dances.

"'The male jumps like he's been shot out of a cannon,' said study co-author Barney Schlinger, professor and departmental chair of integrative biology and physiology and a professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at UCLA. 'It's exquisite. He sails like an acrobat and lands perfectly on a perch, like a gymnast landing a flawless dismount. Not only is there power to his muscle contractions but incredible speed as well.'"

"... 'The courtship dance reveals the male's neuromuscular capability, Schlinger said. Using miniature telemetry devices, Barske measured the birds' heart rates and found that while the heart rate is normally 600 beats per minute or lower, during the courtship display it can go as high as 1,300 beats per minute.

"'This heart rate is extremely high; in the avian world, only hummingbirds have heart rates of 1,300 beats per minute,' Barske said."

All of this is also very demanding of the females.

"'The females prefer the males that perform the elements of the dance faster and demonstrate better motor coordination,' said lead author Julia Barske, a UCLA graduate student and doctoral candidate in ecology and evolutionary biology. 'Females prefer more active males that do more courtship activity.'

"'Julia's data show that the females select the males that completed elements of the courtship dance in 50 milliseconds over the males that took 80 milliseconds,' Schlinger said.

"... Female golden-collared manakins have a larger visual processing area in the brain than males, Schlinger's previous research has shown, suggesting that females have a fast visual processing speed that enables them to detect slight differences in the male's courtship dance.

I'm glad Holly only demanded I play the guitar. ;)

The Cause of Progress

2011-05-29T08:46:00.003-05:00

Chris and team are finishing an important film about some of the personal impacts of the chaotic development of Cambodia. You can watch a trailer (below or HERE) and, if you're able, support the completion of the project HERE.

Thanks to everyone working to make development accountable to peace, justice, and human rights.

Franz Jagerstatter: Many Words Will Not Accomplish Much Today...

2011-05-26T16:03:00.006-05:00

As part of wrapping up grade three (almost done!), John and I have been reading through the Profiles of Peacemakers (available HERE). Today we encountered Franz Jagerstatter, someone of whom I knew nothing. And I found his story moving, challenging, and difficult all at once. Of his whole village, Franz alone voted against the annexation of Austria by Nazi Germany. He also refused to serve in the military, for which he was executed.

Several things caught my attention. The first is a reminder that at the core of the principled nonviolent, compassionate life is a commitment that goes beyond results. We cannot guarantee what the outcomes will be; our lives our acts of faith in the deeper sense of faithfulness. This is the way, the beautiful path, the journey that is the best definition of being human. And it is a journey, as Franz experienced, of ever deepening and boundless love:

"...he had reached the conviction that as a believing Catholic he could not perform military service, he could not simultaneously be a National Socialist and a Catholic: that was impossible. If he had obeyed the earlier call-up papers, he had done so because at that time he had regarded it as sinful not to obey the commands of the state: now God had made him think that it was not a sin to reject armed service: there were things over which one should obey God more than man: because of the command 'Love thy neighbour as thyself' he could not fight with weapons." (SOURCE)

The second and related reminder is the importance of small acts. Franz had already been practicing a life of love and nonviolence before he was put in the predicaments that led to his refusal of military service and oath of loyalty to Hitler. He was a loving husband and father. He was a disciplined man with a deep faith that nourished his commitment and ability to live up to those commitments. He bravely voted against annexation. Even after his imprisonment, when he had plenty of opportunities to change his mind, he practiced compassion: sharing food with fellow prisoners, writing instructive letters, petitioning to be a medical orderly in lieu of a becoming a soldier, and finding connection with and support from his wife. In other words, great acts do not come from nowhere. Every small act of courage, love, joy and peace makes us that much more ready to act in a way consistent with our convictions, even the most difficult circumstances. For example,

"In a letter sent to Franziska in March of 1943, Franz Jägerstätter wrote, “Dear wife, I wish to ask something of you. Would it be possible to put some pieces of edelweiss in the next letter? A cellmate here requested that I get him some edelweiss. He is a young Frenchman who was condemned to death a few weeks ago. He would like to send edelweiss to his beloved as a farewell gift. She loves flowers.” In this selfless request, Franz and Franziska Jägerstätter show us that every moment is the right moment to serve and to love one another." (SOURCE)

A third bit was Jagerstatter's willingness to act alone, something that Jim Forest connected to nonviolence as a matter of faithfulness -

"During his lifetime, Franz Jägerstätter did not enjoy, for the most part, the support of the Catholic hierarchy or community. As Jim Forest notes, “Franz Jägerstätter was a solitary witness. He died with no expectation that his sacrifice would make any difference to anyone… beyond his family and community, his death would go entirely unnoticed and have no impact on the Nazi movement or hasten the end of war… Who would remember or care about the anti-Nazi gesture of an uneducated farmer?”" (SOURCE)

And again -

"Franz Jägerstätter was clear that he could "change nothing in world affairs" but he wished "to be at least a sign that not everyone let themselves be carried away with the tide"." (SOURCE)

Finally, Franz realized in the truest sense that we must be doers and not hearers only:

"In the final months of his life, Franz Jägerstätter wrote, “I perceive that many words will not accomplish much today. Words teach, but personal example shows their meaning …. People want to observe Christians who have taken a stand in the contemporary world, Christians who live amid all of the darkness with clarity, insight, and conviction, Christians who live with the purest peace of mind, courage and dedication amid the absence of peace and joy, amid the self-seeking and hatred.”

"...Whether we are rooted in a faith tradition or not, the solitary witness of Franz Jägerstätter certainly points to the need for self-reflection and action: What does it mean to be human? Why do I act in the way that I do? Do my actions serve to harm or to uplift life? Am I living in a way that serves the work of peace and nonviolence?" (SOURCE)

Perhaps, then, Jaggerstatter's greatest legacy is our own self-reflection, as individuals and societies, to the type of lives we are living and the type of world we are creating. And, born of that reflection, we can choose to live in such a way that life, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, gentleness and faithfulness may become the common experience of humanity.

May all beings be free from suffering.

PS - You can also watch some excerpts of a movie about Franz on youtube, HERE.

Helping Our Own First: Misdirection & Foreign Aid

2011-05-18T19:06:00.016-05:00

Here's a new one going around Facebook about US foreign aid:

U.S.A. Homeless go without eating.
U.S.A. Elderly go without needed medicines.
U.S.A. Mentally ill go without treatment.
U.S.A. Troops go without proper equipment.
U.S.A. Veterans go without benefits they were promised.
Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. Have the guts to re-post this. 1% will re-post and 99% Won't have the Guts (So true it's scary)

It's interesting how these kind of posts spread across the internet (or through other media), and I think there's good reason for it. The technique is quite clever: make a list of undesirable circumstances to get the reader emotionally primed, follow the list with a bit of blame and misdirection, and finish the job with some guilt and manipulation.

To begin with, foreign aid is a subject that most people don't know much about. For example, one 2010 study showed that

"... Americans continue to vastly overestimate the amount of the federal budget that is devoted to foreign aid. Asked to estimate how much of the federal budget goes to foreign aid the median estimate is 25 percent. Asked how much they thought would be an "appropriate" percentage the median response is 10 percent." (Full Article HERE)

So how much is the USA actually spending on foreign aid? About 1% of the federal budget, which includes some significant amounts in military aid. (More HERE) In other words, it is not possible for foreign aid to be the cause of budget shortfalls in social programs. Taking all the money away from foreign aid still wouldn't fill in the gaps of what is about a $2.8 trillion annual budget.

But our ignorance of the budget is further exacerbated by our ignorance of the actual programs and activities funded by foreign aid. For example, how much do any of us know about USAID? (You can learn about them HERE.) And it's easier to jettison programs when we don't know about or understand them.

Unfortunately, getting a realistic picture of US foreign aid isn't always straightforward. And it's hard not to get stuck at the very beginning, especially since looking at the obvious places may get us in a quagmire of debate regarding everything from foreign policy to Christian end-times theology. Why? Because Israel and Egypt together received over $4.5 billion in aid in 2010, even though they are not developing nations and over 90% of the aid they received is military in nature. (More HERE)

But I think there's more going on here. Foreign aid is not only a topic the public knows little about; it's also a topic that plays on emotions tied to patriotism, isolationism, and anxiety. Look at the list again: the Homeless, the Elderly, the Mentally Ill, Troops, Veterans. It is likely that anyone reading the list knows several people impacted by those circumstances. These are our dear ones, our vulnerable ones, our selves. So the post raises a contrast between those we call to mind with the nameless millions receiving foreign aid that we don't know at all and have a much harder time understanding and caring about. Given the choice, we are set up to give priority to those we know and love. Throw into that the rampant misunderstanding of other cultures and peoples, and foreign aid doesn't have a chance.

And in case you weren't already convinced, they throw in a healthy dose of guilt and manipulation to finish us off. Do YOU have the guts to re-post this? Don't stop to ask: Why does it take any courage to post it? Our brains are geared to rush right on, never seeing the ploy, never seeing this technique makes you doubt yourself. I mean, you do CARE about the elderly, the mentally ill, and the rest of that lot, don't you? I mean, you are a True American, a Patriot, aren't you?

The problems listed are quite real. The beneficiaries of our social programs do need more support than they are receiving. But that just makes the whole thing more clever. Pausing, we might ask ourselves: do I actually think most politicians would take money saved from cutting foreign aid to invest in programs that would benefit these groups?

So this is my little rant in favor of continued foreign aid. Although there's always room for improvement and certainly programs I wouldn't support, my personal experience with USAID funded activities in Cambodia were generally positive. This was especially the case with the Program on Rights and Justice (more HERE).

In other words, my experience made me open to the possibility that there is some amazing work going on - things that every American can be proud of and that, if we took the time to learn about it, we might not want to lose.

EDIT: In response to a friend's comment and a lot of thinking, I made many revisions to the original post. I hope the current version is less irritable, more balanced, and generally more effective of expressing my points. Thanks, Michael. :)

Mulit-Distracting: The 14 Second Attention Span

2011-05-17T11:37:00.002-05:00

"Placed in a room containing a television and a computer and given a half hour to use either device, people on average switched their eyes back and forth between TV and computer a staggering 120 times in 27.5 minutes -- or nearly once every 14 seconds, . . . .

"What's more, the subjects were not even aware of their own actions. On average, participants in the study thought they might have looked back and forth between the two devices about 15 times per half hour. In reality, they were looking nearly 10 times as often. And even if quick "glances" less than 1.5 seconds are removed from the equation, people were still switching over 70 times per half hour." (Full Article HERE)

Ubiquitous glowing screens: this is still something I'm getting used to after 11 months back in the USA. I mean, there were plenty before I left, but there's more and more of them now, especially the multimedia mobile phones and those small TVs running advertisements in the stores (and people standing around to watch!). And then I read articles like THIS ONE that tell me that "59 percent of Americans say they now use their computer and television at the same time. In addition, youths under 18 report this type of media multitasking is now the dominant mode in which they use both devices."

It's all a little hard for me to take in. I mean, I have confessed my enjoyment and desires for tech, but it's only a small part of my life. And I like it that way. What makes the temptation for constant entertainment so powerful?

I keep remembering the hook for the HBOGo commercial that says "The story you could be watching is better than the one you're in." And that just astounds me.

Do the ad gurus really think that little of us?

Do we really think that little of ourselves?

Meanwhile, here are some more articles on multi-tasking -

Media multitaskers pay mental price, Stanford study shows (HERE)
Motivated Multitasking: How the Brain Keeps Tabs on Two Tasks at Once (HERE)
How (and Why) to Stop Multitasking (HERE)

Or, better yet, do something that doesn't require a glowing screen at all. Play tag with a child. Watch the birds. Plant some flowers. "... live deliberately, ... front only the essential facts of life, ... and suck out all the marrow of life." :)

More on Parenting & Child School Success

2011-05-13T11:44:00.004-05:00

I've written about Amy Chua, coercion and parenting a couple of times before - first, about the risks involved in basing happiness on conditions like performance, HERE; second, about the risks involved in making important decisions - like those involved in parenting - based on anecdotes instead of evidence, HERE). Now, two more recent articles have caught my eye that are particularly relevant to these issues.

The first study was a statistical analysis of the American Time Use Survey. This included data on thousands of students (age 15+) over several years (2003-2009). And -

"Asian high-school students spend significantly more time studying and doing homework, Ramey found, than any other ethnic or racial group. Averaged over the entire year (including summer vacations), the average, non-Hispanic white student spends 5.5 hours per week studying and doing homework, while Hispanic and non-Hispanic black students spend even less. In contrast, the average Asian student spends a whopping 13 hours per week." (Full Article HERE)

This trend continued in college-aged students -

"The gap is not so extreme among fulltime college students, Ramey said, but it is still the case that Asian students spend more time studying: 15-plus hours per week in comparison with white students who spend a little over 10 hours per week, and with black and Hispanic students who spend less time." (Full Article HERE)

But Ramey was also careful to point out that "whether it's the case that Asian-style parenting is the cause of the difference remains for further research to ferret out."

One possible example of ferreting out the cause is the University of Illinois U.S.-China Adolescence Study -

"The children completed questionnaires four times over two years beginning when they started 7th grade. Grades were also charted."

The results?

"In the United States, but not in China, the youths' sense of responsibility to their parents declined over the two years. But in both countries, youngsters who said they felt responsible to their parents were more invested and engaged in school, and often earned higher grades, independent of the quality of the parent-child relationship. Responsibility was defined as children's feelings of obligation to their parents and their motivation in school to please them, such as meeting parental expectations." (emphasis mine) (Full Article HERE)

There are a couple of things I find really interesting. First, the quality of the parent-child relationship was independent of the child's success in school. In other words, the child can be successful whether the parent was coercive, connective, or somewhere in between; whether the parent and child get along or not; whether the child resents or rejoices in the parent's involvement. Given these options, though, my preference would be for connection, for getting along happily, and for mutual enjoyment of my involvement. And because the quality of the relationship was independent of success, the hypothesis is that I CAN have that kind of relationship and still give my child the kind of support needed to excel academically.

Second, a further step would be to identify and research the types of parental practices that encourage healthy feelings of responsibility. The U.S.-China Adolescence Study already noted that these results exist in diverse cultures. So what are they? Based on their findings, the researchers hypothesized that -

"Explicitly talking with teens about acting responsibly is likely to be useful. Involvement in teens' lives is also very important. For example, when parents are involved in teens' learning, teens tend to develop a sense of responsibility to parents, which maintains their achievement over the middle school years." (Full Article HERE)

Obviously, we need some further research into this area. I'd be particularly interested in seeing practices appropriate for different age ranges and developmental needs. And I would guess that beginning practices early in life would make it easier to sustain through the teen years, making longitudinal studies beginning in early childhood really helpful.

Of course, these two studies are not the final word, just the next words in the conversation. And that's part of the point of evidence-based practices and the reflective mind. In the meantime, best wishes in your own reflective practices as a parent, teacher, relative or friend to the children around you. :)

Another Perspective

2011-05-02T14:39:00.003-05:00

The September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows (HERE or on Facebook HERE) was founded by family members of those killed in the September 11 attacks.

Today they released a statement on the death of Osama bin Laden. It included:

"As we consider the killing of Osama Bin Laden, our thoughts turn not only to our family members who were killed on September 11th, but to all of the innocent people around the world who have died, and continue to die, as a result of the events of September 11th, 2001.

"It is our hope that the rule of law, underpinned by our Constitution that was so terribly strained in the name of September 11th will again become the guiding light of our policies at home and abroad. One person may have played a central role in the September 11th attacks, but all of us have a role to play in returning our world to a place of peace, hope and new possibilities. We hope that process will begin today." (download statement as a pdf HERE)

I hope that we can all use the reminders of bin Laden's death, from media coverage to private conversation, to reflect on the role each of us can play in making the world a place of "peace, hope and new possibilities" - and then to act.

May all beings be free from suffering.