All Things Daddy

An Apology

2016-08-16T13:50:00.000-05:00

There's something I need to get off of my chest: I'm not the greatest father. There, I said it. While I'm at it, I need to add this: I'm not the greatest husband either. Whew, now that I've got that out of the way, let me blog a bit about fatherhood and being a not so great husband.

Let's dig in, shall we? I've discovered only recently that I'm not the best dad. I didn't learn this from someone telling me. I deduced it from personal insight. I perused the welcome to fatherhood books and thought, blah, I'll wing it, how hard can it be? I don't remember there being a chapter about how to do absolutely everything right and your kids will grow up to be great people. Eh, I might've fallen asleep before I got to that part.

I finally discovered what it is that seems to be my downfall: it's me. I finally know what it is that I've done to make me be a not so great dad. By no means am I self-bashing, but I need to let dads of all sorts(ones that have been dads for many years, a few years, or are just getting started) know what I've found out about myself and what could be a hang up for them as well.

I'm self absorbed. I don't know if it's because I was the baby of the family for 16 years and I grew to realize most everyone in the family was willing to let me slide on things. Also, being the youngest, you learn from your older siblings and I learned what to do and what not to do, or at least get caught doing it.

For far too long have I thought about what others could do for me. This didn't become apparent until after children. I wish it could've been sooner, like when I met Melissa and fell in love and got married. I think she would've been appreciative of the self enlightenment. I hope that she is now.

I've always thought my time was exactly that, mine. It wasn't until maybe a few months ago, I found that this isn't true. I don't know what led me to this discovery, but I'm glad I've found it.

So here it is, my apology: Dear Ethan, Hayden, and my dearest Melissa, I'm sorry for being selfish and using the time that I have to only do what I felt met the minimum of being a dad and husband. Moving forward, and please know it's a work in progress, I give all my time to the pursuit of happiness, godliness, and helpfulness to give each of you what you deserve. A dad who takes the time to teach and play, even after a long day. A husband who does more than keep the kids until you get home from work and then turns them over. There is an abundance of others to list, but I find that list a bit tedious, please, just know that I am always striving to become a better father and husband.

The three greatest people I could have love me deserve more than I am and the only person that can do anything about is me.

Something a bit more recent.

2013-08-13T21:10:00.000-05:00

Molly has a small obsession with Elmo, she shows off her chops in this video. Below is a more recent photo taken of her riding on a plastic camel.

LONG TIME NO HEAR!

2013-08-13T20:47:00.001-05:00

Hello?

Hey there! It has been a long time but trust me when I say, it has gone by way too fast! I feel good about posting though and I hope to be posting a few videos soon.

This one is from our town's market street last year in 2012 as most of the photos are about that old.

Who do we owe the pleasure for the next few post? Why my over loaded iphone of course! So rather than fill my Facebook page up with countless more photos and videos, I will attempt to log our adventures and discoveries here.

This one of Molly in the car was taken in the local mall here, she has a need for speed!
First time for Molly and I both

on the Tombigbee River we had a blast!

I feel like these photos were taken yesterday, mind blowing this was all last year. So nice to reminisce, beautiful memories.

For memory sake today marks the first time we went poo poo in the potty. Now, that I made this post I have a date to torment her with in the future.

Katie McDill's photography took this one, although shes not smiling I just like it. I'll post more take from this shoot later.

Nude.

Cloth Diapers how-to instructional video, its so easy!

2012-01-08T10:08:00.000-06:00

This "how to" video is just so easy to use, special thanks to Star & Micey for this really silly, but super fun to make video.

Some Assembly Required

2011-12-27T08:50:00.001-06:00

Changing table in the works

The words in the title to this blog are known to all moms and dads, we soon to be parents are just getting started. I believe there should actually be a book somewhere about having a baby that should also have this title. We will never be through putting things together for our kids. Whether it be furniture as in the most pictures on this blog post, or if it is trying to put together a life on the right road for our young ones. There will be times when we mend broken hearts, or pick up broken spirits, just as our parents did before us.

Again with the changing table

Enough sentimental stuff, lets get to the meat of this blog. Tools and little use of directions, which
came back to bite me only a few times. We ordered all of our son's furniture off the Internet, from JcPenny, which worked out great. We got a credit account which helped save us money, we also got free delivery... just not free assembly. Oh no, nothing free about that, just you, your tools, and a wonderful wife there to tell you when you're doing it wrong, and to take pictures of the process, too! Actually, Melissa didn't nag, which is true to her character, she really helped out, even while being seven and a half months pregnant.

I decided to start with the changing table, you see there's a method to picking out which piece of furniture you should start with, especially if you plan on assembling all of it in one day. I figured I'd start with the second most aggravating piece, followed by the most aggravating, then finish up with the easiest/ least aggravating. According to my level of aggravation, I messed up the order. We got everything completed all the same.

The finished changing table.

You've got to make sure you tighten everything
down as best as you can, your child is depending on you!

We took a break after the assembly process was complete, we went to get something to eat and, I believe, we did a little shopping at Babies R Us. We purchased a Serta mattress for the crib, which was second on the list of assembly. My sister, Joanna, stopped by and helped out with this process, which made it a little less frustrating. Notice the glider and ottoman in the background, we didn't get any pictures, but we did have to assemble those as well, which wasn't difficult at all. Except for buttoning the cushions on, that was a pain.

Joanna was helping, Molly and Louie were not.
They were more interested in spending time with Aunt Joanna.

Finished product.

With blanket, which we learned in birthing class, we shouldn't
put in with Ethan, it can be dangerous.

Now for my coup de grace, the chest of drawers, I'm not even sure why I thought this would be an easy construction, but apparently at the time I did, boy, was I wrong.

Getting the pieces organized with Louie's help.

Maybe it was the fact that I had been assembling all day, or because the first two pieces went so well, I thought I didn't need the directions this time, whatever the reason was, I know that this was a pain!

Molly and I having a moment.

Who is that handsome, handy man?

The drawers were pretty simple, so simple I could talk on the phone
at the same time!

Finished product, looks simple enough, but don't let it fool you.
I think the third drawer sticks a bit too, tried to loosen everything
and resolve problem, but, alas, I could not figure it out.

The aftermath

During my crazy month of December, I put together a few other items.

We purchased a Baby's 1st stroller/car seat. Not much assembly required,
just attached the wheels.

The biggest dynamic going into the stroller/car seat
was learning how to operate everything. Which
we found wasn't terribly hard. Then again,
we didn't have a screaming baby with us at the time.

We also bought a Graco swing set. Not at all fun to put together, but not
incredibly hard. I was finished in about 45 minutes.

It has different settings for swinging, slow or fast, it also
has different songs on it, two of which were in our wedding.
There are nature sounds and the mobile, which
isn't battery operated, it moves as the swing
goes back and forth.

We're pleased with all the items we've received so far, and I have even more to blog about later. We've had three baby showers since the middle of November, with lots of pictures!

All Day Birthing Class

2011-12-27T07:11:00.002-06:00

I will go on record and say that if you have a choice, never ever take an all day birthing class. The only reason we did was because of our different work schedules. We knocked out 6 classes in an eight hour window on November 19th.

Each class had a different title, but since it was all day class, I don't remember any of them. It was like a blur, so much info, so little time to compute. The basics were fairly simple, I had no problem putting diapers on a doll that was not struggling or fighting against me. Learning how to properly bath a newborn was informative. I remember and firmly believe in, if you don't know if your baby is actually sick or just not feeling well, but you're not sure, call a doctor, or mom or mother-in-law.

I know that the wife's recovery is very important and can take some time, which is to be expected. The instructor mentioned to the guys that we might be on the hook for cooking and cleaning for the first six weeks, which is about par for most mom's recoveries. I just hope Melissa doesn't get tired of hamburgers, pizza, grilled cheese and such. I'll be off for the first two weeks so maybe I can expand my menu, or we'll end up eating a lot of pick up.

The videos we were shown were very dated, but covered everything you need to know about what happens at birth. And, yes, guys, they are not pretty, but you need to go through this so you know what to expect in the delivery room of your own wife, or mother of your child.
Since we took the all day class, we didn't get a chance to learn baby CPR, we might be signing up for that later. All in all it was a great day, time spent with my wife, met some new people, learned about delivery and newborns, but still suggest the night courses!

Good/Bad, Do/Don't,Yes/No of parenthood.

2011-12-21T13:15:00.000-06:00

ABC song never sounded so good.

2011-12-07T11:25:00.002-06:00

Man, I know it is a bit early for little Miss Molly to start watching any type of videos, but I am still honing my skills in the art of soothing a fussy baby. I really enjoy off-key singing to her as I attempt to rock her and quite her down. I have noticed that she is becoming more ad more alert as time goes by so I thought I would try a few videos out on her. Oddly enough I found this Alphabet seem to mellow her out pretty good and her eyes are drawn to it. I think it has something to do with her natural ability to recognize faces in objects. It also has a nice beat and has been stuck in my head.

I also have just recently bought a new video camera or"toy"and tried it out for the first time today. Katherine left me up to my own devices and alone with Molly for a few hours. I was just trying not to make her mad. I made a quick video, very off the cuff, showing how Molly likes to be held. You can see how awkward I get as she gets more fussy.

I'll get better at this stuff.

Baby on a roller coaster!

2011-11-19T00:06:00.000-06:00

Molly likes the thrills!!

Molly is here!!

2011-11-01T01:44:00.005-05:00

"Spirit is in a state of grace forever. Your reality is only spirit. Therefore you are in a state of grace forever."

A Course in Miracles

Man oh man, what can I say. I'm a Dad and it feels great! These past few weeks have been emotional, exhausting, and extremely time consuming. I am not going to spend long on this post, but per Jake, I want to at the very least get some pictures posted.

Molly Grace Munson, was born on the ninth day of October, 2011. The doctor and I counted all of her fingers and toes together and were very pleased to see everything was in order. He also commented that he had never seen a little girl have such a perfectly round head after a natural birth... she gets that from me.

Molly was born at 7:09 pm weighing in at a whopping six pounds and 7 ounces. At this time I would like to thank me and give myself a shout out for being the one to guess her body weight. So far I guessed that she would be a girl, she would be blonde, and now her weight. It's not easy being this good.

This was taken just before birth. We rushed to get to the hospital, flying down the two lane hwy going 90 mph. Louise (grandma) was busy in the back seat chatting it up on the phone as Katherine would give me dirty looks for going too fast.

Melissa Cooper, a good friend, had been tracking Katherine's progress through out the morning. She is holding Hattie, Molly's cousin. Louise is to the left. Melissa and Katherine's sister Elizabeth followed behind us, and we were blessed to have them at the hospital during the birth.

Molly (right) didn't want to sit still for her first picture with her cousin Hattie (left), who is only a month older. They look like the same size, but I believe molly was a few ounces lighter.

Just thought I'd blow a few of these up. The camera phone just doesn't do her justice.

She was so hungry for the first few days as we waited for Katherine's milk to come in, I would have to appease her with my knuckle.

We use Katie Mcdill for all our family photos, she did extremely well. Molly was only four days old and very fussy. Below I posted a video of me rocking her to sleep in a pumpkin. I never thought I be the type of parent that would put their kid in a cold wet pumpkin for photos. I am though.

On the left you get to see Molly preforming her very first "plank". This could be monumental, because I don't know how serious of a planker she might be one day.

This Youtube video has been giving me some trouble all night, I hope it comes through ok, if not, you get the idea. You can't hear me very well but I am telling Molly I'm sorry I did this and that it was not my idea.

Jake get ready, having Molly has been better then owning your very own masterpiece. When the Doctor handed her to me, I knew she was mine and meant for me. Like a work of art, I look at her and am amazed at her detail, her beauty, every wonderful brushstroke of genius God put on her body. It's super cool.

The Final Countdown

2011-10-28T02:59:00.002-05:00

Before I get started, I want to congratulate fellow blogger Ryan and his wonderful wife Katherine on the birth of sweet, beautiful Molly Grace. I also want to get on to Ryan, not for not blogging, because we all know how busy having a newborn makes us, but for not posting any pictures of his angelic daughter on the site! Chop chop, mister!

This is it, the last three months of pregnancy, the final trimester, the end of us being a couple and the beginning of us being a family. We have a lot on our plate for these last few months. Not only showers soon to be here, but a full day of birthing class, bi-weekly doctor's visits, then weekly ones, and to top things off the wonderful holiday season. Also, Melissa is going to be traveling for work soon. Ah, the holiday season, a great time of year, a time I truly enjoy, but also the busiest we'll be at work. I'm not sure how, but we'll make it through this season and before we know it, Ethan will be here.

Not much has happened since my last blog, we did get the baby furniture in, it hasn't been assembled yet, but it's here. We also had a very enjoyable trip to San Francisco with Melissa's parents. I had never been to California before, even though most of my family(me included) are huge San Francisco Giants fans, it was a tremendous treat to say the least. We did some sightseeing and even toured AT&T Park where the Giants play.

My beautiful pregnant wife hanging from a stationary street car.

This was at the end of the street car line not far from Fisherman's Wharf.

Can't go to SF without going here.

Great shot of the street car line, and the very steep hill we came down.

Gotta go here too, they make some pretty good chocolates!

We took a boat tour of the bay, I got this shot of the Golden Gate Bridge on my iPhone.

Yours truly sitting in the Giants dugout, Melissa kindly pointed out that the Giants behind my head with the s covered made it an accurate description of my noggin.

Full House houses, aka the Painted Ladies.

Can't see it very well, but that's the 18th green at Pebble Beach

My lady standing in a Redwood.

Biggest trees I've ever seen, I'm sure they make a sound if one falls and no one is around.

Alcatraz, or as Sean Connery would say "The Rock"

The traveling baby bump is back! Notice, it's grown a bit since Florida.

Baby Bump at the ballpark.

Baby Bump cruising the Bay.

Baby Bump at the beach in Monterey.

Baby Bump at Pebble Beach, which in this photo is not so pebbly.

There, I'm done channeling my mother, for those of you that don't know, she loves to take and share pictures! Speaking of mom, before we left for San Francisco my parents were in town for a few days on their way through to Illinois to visit more family. We had a great time, which to my family is hanging out and eating, especially Guadalajara Grill.

We had a doctor's visit this past Monday, a check up and for Melissa to take her sugar test, which she didn't pass. Therefore, she's going back in a few hours to do an even longer test, I think they said it will take three hours for this one. We're hoping things go better this time. I got quite a few responses when I posted this on facebook and most were mothers who had gone through this a few times during their pregnancies and everything turned out fine, but we still have our fingers crossed. For the first time the nurse had no problem finding our boy's heartbeat. Every other time he's either turned away or hiding some how and they have to chase him around, all the while smearing jelly all over Melissa's tummy. Other than the test, everything checked out just fine on the visit. I believe Dr. Chauhan said he's on his way to being better than seven pounds before he's born, which Melissa blamed on my large head. What can I say, I come from a family of large noggins.

That's about it for now, I'll have more in a week or so (baby shower next week), and definitely pictures of baby furniture assembly party! We call it a party so people will come help us, hey, promise some food and you can get folks to come out.

Overwhelmed

2011-10-01T04:51:00.002-05:00

It's not always easy to admit when you're wrong, right guys? Well, I know I've been wrong by not blogging as I should. So, this could be a very long blog or a Reader's Digest abridged version. Let's see, it's been over two weeks since my last post, a lot has happened since then, well it seems like a lot. I know Ryan has his hands full with last minute details (Katherine too!), the countdown is on for Molly's big arrival! Can't wait to see her.

Let me get straight to it, Melissa and I went to register at Babies R Us and Target, this is where the overwhelming sensation hit me. It was fun at first, I, being a total dude, enjoyed the little scanner (which also double as a phaser in between scanning) just as much as I did when registering for wedding showers. We looked at awesome outfits on clearance, where we bought his first beach attire for next Spring or Summer. I picked this out, and am really pleased with myself.

Drink it up ladies, he's going to be the coolest little guy at the beach!

Then, after the playfulness and clothes shopping, things started to get a bit more serious. This is when I started to feel overwhelmed. I had no idea what or how much of anything a baby needs. There is so much stuff to consider! What kind of diapers, what kind of bottles, what kind of lotion for diaper rash, are we going with formula or does my wife think she wants to breastfeed, if we need formula, what kind, if breastfed, what kind of pumps, we need first aid supplies: thermometers, the little bulb thingy that squirts stuff into the nose or is it the ear, I don't even know what it's for, tiny finger nail clippers, etc, etc, etc. I thought this was going to be a walk in the park, but there is so much stuff I didn't even consider about having to, well, consider. They gave us a list of most common items, which was helpful, but I'm a guy, we don't ask for directions, do you think I'm going to follow a checklist?

Melissa sensed my frustration, and she already knows this about me, which is something I am learning of myself, if things don't go smoothly, I get detached, also known as A.D.D. I think. This is a self-diagnosis, or wife diagnosis, I skip around to different attractions and I can't focus on any one of them. This is something not new to me, but I have a new awareness of it. So sometimes when blogging, which is a typed form of thinking, I can get off on tangents, chasing rabbits is how some people put this, not that I'm frustrated about blogging or anything, it's just the way the ol' noggin works. So she stepped up, which she does so well, and took the reins, which she already had anyways, and we started through the checklist. Just to point out, I was never leading this venture, I was just kind of meandering around, so really what she did was put me on track, which apparently happens often. So I tried to focus on the baby bottles. There are many different types and we actually registered for a couple different sets, but one brand drew me in, Tommee Tippees.

I'm not sure what it is about them, they claim to be closer to nature, so they work much like the real deal. They look neat, but there are mixed reviews online. If any of you have tried them, please let us know how they worked out for you. I will of course review them myself once Ethan arrives, hopefully I will find the time.

I wanted to go all out for the baby monitor, with the camera and and night vision capabilities, but I let myself be talked out of it. Which is quite alright, the ones we settled on are practical and a lot cheaper, I'm not sure of the brand, but when we start receiving these items and actually start using them, I hope to start a review section of the blog.

Let's move on to something else now. We had another appointement this past Tuesday, September 27th. This was one of the quickest visit ever to a doctor's office. I mean ever, any doctor. We showed up on time, sat in the first waiting room for maybe five minutes or less. Got called to the back, Melissa got to do her business in a cup while I waited in the second waiting room. She rendezvoused with me there, where we waited another five minutes, at most. Then we were called to our room, where we waited the longest on this visit, but not as long as usual. The nurse took Melissa's BP and asked a few questions, I was doing my best to stay awake, sipping on a peppermint white mocha (too bad we can't get Starbucks to sponsor our site, everytime we name a product we'd get paid, like those Nascar guys...random I know, it's 4 am, I'm doing my best). She then gooped the glob of gel on Melissa's tummy and searched for Ethan's heartbeat. This is always neat to me. We listen to him for a few moments and then the nurse cleans up the blob and is gone. Enter our doctor, Heather Chauhan, with her usual cheery self. She's been great so far, and I can tell, will be thorughtout the pregnancy. She asks a few questions, Melissa replies, then Melissa asks a few questions and she replies. I don't usually feel the need to add anything, and if I do it's more than likely an awkward attempt at a joke or in response to a question Melissa looks to me on. This whole exchange took less than 10 minutes, I believe, and we were good to go. Everything checked out alright and we set up a few more appointments then left. Next visit Melissa gets to go through the glucose tolernace test, or the sugar test as most say. Some of the ladies at work say it doesn't taste very good, and that I, as the supportive husband, should taste it as well...we'll see. I would try to explain what the test is, but you're better off clicking on the link.

I want to thank everyone for being here for us, I think I can speak for Ryan as well, when I say that your support and kind words and information you pass along to us is what helps keep this blog going. That and our want to share with our kids what things were like leading up to their arrival and of course the many years after they've been here.

I also want to thank you Ryan for considering me for this venture, if it weren't for your creativeness, I would just be bouncing along on this journey (trip into fatherhood) with no channel to direct some of my thoughts and reactions. I hope we can keep it up.

Until next time, which should never be as long as it took for this time, but can't really say it won't be.

Real men get pedicures!!-Ryan

2011-09-19T21:16:00.003-05:00

Katherine and her sister Elizabeth both around 7&1/2 months

We hit a mile stone yesterday. As of the 18th of September, Katherine is officially one month away from her due date. We have burst through the thresh hold of cute and pregnant and landed steadily on over-sized and miserable. Tossing and turning, grunting and moaning, she can't seem to find comfort in any position at night. Back and forth she waddles to and fro from the couch to the bed. Of course I am not experiencing the physical discomfort she's going through, but my heart does go out to her. On our last visit to the doctor the physician told us that the baby has all but completely dropped. She even explained that she had to reach around Molly's head to check the cervix. We were told she is 50% effaced and 1/2 cm dilated, the Doc said at this rate there is no way we will see the due date, and for Katherine's sake, I hope it's true. Keep in mind, although Kat may be ready, I would like Molly to cook a little longer. I just want everyone to come out healthy and happy after this is all said and done.

For Katherine to feel a little more like a lady and less like a portal for human existence, I thought it would be fun to get a pedicure. You heard right, I thought it would be fun... don't judge me. So we headed on down to Rose's Spa. Rose's Spa is a old U-haul rental building turned spa. I know the owner from selling him a sectional, where he explained to me that the size of the coffee table is strictly determined on whether or not it could hold two boxes of pizza and a twelve-pack of beer (my kind of man.)

This was the kids version, but still cute.

We walked in and the place was lit up with finger nail polish. I was instructed by a pro (Katherine) to pick my color and have a seat. As I scanned the rainbow, I decided to go with my gut, "if these were bowling balls, what would I choose?" I thought. I picked out a nice glittery mustard yellow and had a seat. The seat themselves are message chairs with a jacuzzi at the bottom to stick your feet in. As I sat down, the non-English speaking woman set my message chair to a very uncomfortable cycle, and went to town on my feet like Paula Deen holding a cheese grater. I have to say, she was pretty forceful, but if I had to pedicure my feet, I too wouldn't be delicate.

I have to say I felt Incredibly bad for this woman. Although the picture doesn't show it, her cheese grater was chalked full of my bunions. I'm not proud, but it felt so good.

There you have the finished product. I strongly recommend any man getting a pedicure. Women are making these things out to be feminine, but in reality, they are just a best kept secret.

Tattoo your kid to your chest!

2011-09-17T21:57:00.002-05:00

Twenty five horrible tattoos of children's faces. Note to self, no matter how much I fall in love with my little girl and wish to cherish every moment, never, ever, tattoo her face on my body. For more of these creepy pics here is your LINK

good friend sent me this link,

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell}

This is a really well done list of rules, with things like:

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

and...

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

I thought I would end these links with a nice video. This one is a couple coming up with a clever way to break the news to their parents they're pregnant. There are actually quite a bit of these videos out in youtube land and some are really touching. Enjoy!

No Insurance? Try this. -Ryan

2011-09-17T07:35:00.003-05:00

One of my first blogs Got insurance? I talk about how Katherine and I came to be pregnant with out insurance. When I first found out she was pregnant I got extremely over whelmed with medical cost. I looked all over the internet for guidance and kept coming up empty handed. So, through trail and error, we have figured out a best practices of what to do if you are with out maternity coverage. I say "best practices," but I know no other way of dealing with it.

I wasn't planning on showing this video, because mostly I hate it. I made it off the cuff and it was all in one take, I ramble way to much, and over all I find it boring. I have been receiving some emails about it, so it might be helpful. For that reason alone, I will post it here.

Like I said the video is terrible, but here is a couple of emails I have gotten and a response. I hope it helps others.

thank you

       Thanks so much for your post. I heard you mention "Baptist" ..are  you referring to Baptist hospital in Nashville? I'm in Nashville!  I  currently do not have maternity insurance. Husband and I are self  employed and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I have searched before  on what to do about this. And have found that you can pre pay obgyn's  and get discounts. I will have to review my policy. But from what I know  is that if an "emergency surgery" needs to happen .. a c-section. That  that is when your insurance kicks in and you get covered. I do want to  re-review my policy however because I read a story and there was video  on a woman who was in AZ and her BCBSAZ policy had all of these  stipulations as to what fetal distress it. And she had to pay for  c-section but is still fighting with the insurance company. I have  researched midwifes..but get scared sometimes if I don't have a obgyn  established and paid  upfront. Did you decide  what OBGYN your wife will  use and what hospital? Did you pay the hospital upfront yet and do you  know what hospital? I heard good things about Dr. Pashcall. Sorry for  long message...but I'm very thankful for your video and grateful you  took the time to put it up. Please let me know any tips or what ever you  decide to do. 

Thanks,

Ani

Another example:

i am in same boat !

       Hi , It's Amish from Milford NH .  i am also in same boat, we  found last week that my wife is pregnant . we have no insurence .  we  are so worried abt the cost and we can't get any insurence now. please  advise what will be the best way to deal  with cost . even little  information will help. Thanks, Amish 

So a typical response from me looks like:

Re: i am in same boat !

Hey Amish, congratulations on your big time life change!

I'll be glad to tell you what I have done and I can only hope it helps you.

First I would say that if you can get approved for it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with medicaid. With your wife pregnant, you are already considered a family of three which will raise the income maximum your family can make per month to get approved. I live in Mississippi, I'm sure our maximum of 2,500.00 a month for our entire income is a lot less then in NH. Keep in mind they go by monthly income, so if your paychecks very month to month then pick a low income month before you apply. Medicaid will cover 100% off all your birthing cost and will also pay you back if you have already paid some obgyn medical bills before applying.

If you have already checked with Medicaid and that is not an option, then it is time for you to be a smart consumer. I would get a list of all the hospitals with in a 30 - 45 minute radius. Call them and explain you have no insurance and would like to receive an estimate on the cost of a child birth. Every hospital I called had some type of discount for the uninsured. Prices will also very from one extreme to the next, so it is important to call a lot of hospitals when pricing. My cost after calling varied from 5,000 - 13,000 for a child birth, you can double that figure if your wife has to under go a cesarean. Once you find a hospital, and you're comfortable with the reputation and distances, then they can provide you with a list of doctors the use their facility. Shop your doctors in the same manner, they too will give you discounts for not having insurance. If you have the means to pay anything all together in cash, that also constitutes another discount. Our obgyn cost ranged from 2000 - 4000. We went with a little bit more expensive doctor because my wife was more comfortable with her. Some times your wife's comfort and practicability will play over cost.

Remember you can always make payments, and as long as you pay something (anything) each month, then no interest will be added to your medical bills.

I hope I helped, your baby is blessed to have you looking after them.
- Ryan
Please feel free to give me extra input you think I may be leaving out in our comments box, or email us at allthingsdaddy@gmail.com

I will be remaking this crappy video as soon as I get a new camera, don't judge!

Strange video time!!!

2011-09-15T11:36:00.001-05:00

Pee Pee Teepee

2011-09-14T07:58:00.008-05:00

I've been shopping a couple of times with my expecting wife at Maternity Motherhood.
This place has nothing to do with dads, or does it? I think you fellas will dig this. Upon the final decision on what wonderful styles of clothes to purchase, my wife proceeds to nudge me out of my iPhone induced zone(the usual, checking sports scores, words with friends, and facebook). We head to the register, where, again, she nudges me. I'm not angry about this, just a little put off, I mean I know she can handle the clerk and transaction by herself, she's a pro at shopping. I get the nudge all the same. Then she points toward the impulse buy rack right next to the register, you know the rack, at most places it's filled with candy and gift cards and things of that ilk, but here at Maternity Motherhood they have nice little books about moms and daughters and dads and sons. Then I realized what she wanted me to see: The pee pee teepee (I know it's spelled tepee, that's what the package reads)

We've got little rockers!

That's right, a mini teepee to cover your boys wangdoodle(that's another one, wangdoodle wigwam) to protect from the errant stream of pee that I've heard so many stories about. These little cone-shaped pieces of felt (I'm guessing) are used during diaper changes. We've all seen the diaper commercial where dad goes in and lays his son down on the pad on the bed and removes his diaper only to find his son is still fully loaded and blasting all over the walls. It's a little over the top and shows that diaper is supposed to absorb so much more than it's competitors, I'm not even sure which company it is, I might need to look into that. Knowing that it was over the top, and that, even though as fathers, we dream our sons could display such ferocious abilities(we would proudly beam, and say he gets it from me) I'm sure we're talking about a lot less power. Which would make theses teepees very practical. They come in all colors and designs:

Animals are always fun! Especially monkeys!

There are tons more, google them, or click here.

Now I realize that many of you might have already heard of these brilliant and practical doodads. Yeah, I just called 'em doodads. But, for myself this was brand new. I must say I had a healthy chuckle about them, and I also I have to say I was intrigued. I've not been around a lot of baby boys, but this just seems like something that would create more buzz. If you haven't checked out the link above, then you don't know how big the market is for these tallywhacker tents(I'm having fun coming up with different things to call them as well). If this is your first encounter with pee pee teepees, then I'm glad I could show you something that I think all of us could appreciate and smile at.

I just got a new design idea sitting here. You could make them look like little socks(which would probably work just as well) and put RHCP on them. For those that don't know that's short for Red Hot Chili Peppers, a band that was known in their early days to perform on stage wearing only gym socks on their baby makers.

I hope this has been informative and helpful. I'll be sure to purchase some before Ethan makes his arrival so we can test and grade them.

The Greatest Generation

2011-09-13T01:10:00.003-05:00

The Greatest Generation is a book written by Tom Brokaw. It is a book written about the generation of people born just after the turn of the twentieth century up through the 1920's (also known as the GI generation). Brokaw is quoted saying, "it is, I believe, the greatest generation any society has ever produced." He argued that these men and women fought not for fame and recognition, but because it was the right thing to do. These words epitomize my Great Grandfather, a man I said goodbye to this last Saturday.

Hubert S. Rutherford was ninety-four and a half when he passed on the 10th of this month. He suffered a massive heart attack a week prior and had sustained tremendous damage. We knew it was a matter of time before we lost him, but you are never emotionally prepared to say goodbye to a loved one. After the heart attack, I received a very somber phone call from my grandmother that if I wanted to see him alive then I would have to leave now, or I could wait for the funeral. With Katherine teetering in the ninth month of pregnancy and my G-pa, living 700 miles away, I thought it best to leave immediately so that I could return before her labor.

I have heard some cases that certain people will cling to life until the have had the chance to say or hear goodbye from their loved ones, then, having that peace of mind, they slip away. My grandfather was the type of man who would do that. He grew up during the Great Depression, fought in WWII, earned two Bronze Stars, and raised three children. His son, Keith Rutherford, was nineteen when he lost his life in a car wreck less then ten miles from his home. When that happened, it did everything but destroy Keith's mother, my great grandmother, giving her a nervous breakdown. Hubert stood strong. He was always strong. He was the family rock, and as Brokaw said, when he did something, "he did it because it was the right thing to do."

Hubert was much more than the family "Rock," he also was funny. I mean side splittingly funny. He was one of those guys who would pop off with a joke so quickly and unexpectedly, you may find yourself too in awe of his cleverness, trying to figure where does he come up with this stuff rather than laugh. Usually, by the time I would get it, he would have already left the room & I'd be left there just giggling awkwardly, by myself. Once he was helping me install a windshield wiper motor on a old Buick. I was crouched over the engine and he would point at the different nuts and bolts for me to twist. Suddenly, a group of his buddies pulled in behind us (the whole town had him working on stuff). One of the men pointed at me, trying to score points with Hubert he asked, "who you got there with ya?" I was expecting a proud introduction, Grandpa stopped and gave me a long stare, he then looked back at the older fella and said "I don't know who he is, but I'm letting him call me Grandpa."

As most people knew him as a tough old bird, I also knew him as a sensitive man. We would usually get a chance to visit him and grandma a couple times a year. Several times I could remember him getting emotional when it would come time to leave. The first time I saw him tear up he was talking with my mom, my grandma was having a variety of issues and had to be rushed to the hospital the night before. He was worried at the prospect of losing her and often looked to my mother for support. Seeing that man cry was as hard for me emotionally as it was watching him in the hospital this past week. He was sensitive when it came to his family, he loved us. It took a week for all of us to gather with him in his room Saturday evening, my aunt Charlotte was the last to arrive straight from the airport. She knelt beside him and spoke for us all. She was reading all of our hearts when she thanked him for being there, always being there. My grandpa and grandma were home to us and she let him know. She then called my mom and let her speak into his hear. His ear lobes relaxed and we all decided it was best to regroup at home. He passed away minutes later.

He was the type of person who would wait for us to all say our goodbyes, before passing to heaven. Up until the very end he was still there for us. He was our Rock.

I am sorry this post isn't about parenting. I needed to write it for Molly, so she can read something about him while I have him fresh in my mind.

9/11--Jake

2011-09-12T04:08:00.001-05:00

I'm actually typing this on 9/12 but it's something I wanted to do to remember what 9/11/01 meant to me then and means to me now.

I read a lot of nice posts about this infamous date on facebook throughout the day. Some were about what they were doing or about those lost, about how our soldiers are still avenging/protecting us. I had a mixture of feelings and I want to try to put into words what was going through my head when thinking about the day the towers fell.

Back in September 2001, I was just a 20 year old guy with not a lot going on. I worked at a local mom and pop restaurant and lived in Texas with my brother. I was to be at work at ten that morning and was on my when the dreadful events occurred. I usually listened to my CD player, blasting out the latest tunes in my truck that could barely hold the sound system I had installed. And I had started out doing just that, but for some reason I thought I'd listen to some talk radio that day on my way. I tuned to the Dallas station WBAP 820 AM and that's how I first heard what was going on. I thought they were messing around, but this wasn't a station that joked like that, not that any station would ever do that, but I knew it was serious coming from this one. I sped to work to catch the news. I remember standing with the few others there and watching the news in disbelief. I felt detached, like this had to be some movie. I felt angry too. We had work to do, so we prepped everything and caught what news we could in between serving and cooking food. I remember prices at the gas stations going up, and my boss asking if I needed to go ahead and fill up, and my response, no, I have half a tank and the lines are too long. In the days following there was a group of friends that kept saying we were going to sign up for the military to help avenge the deaths and to protect our freedoms, but none of us did. Sometimes I regret that, but I wouldn't be here today if I had done so. I could've been killed, injured or still over there, instead of choosing the path I have taken.

Now, ten years later, I can see how young I was and how little the world was to me back then. I know there were many people lost at the towers from different ages, but all were the same. They were mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, friends, they were unsuspecting, and they all had there lives cut too short. Now that I'm living not for me, but for Melissa and Ethan, I can imagine what it could be like to lose either one and it shakes me. But that's just imagination. Those that perished left behind many to mourn their loss, and they felt the reality of heartache.

I know I can't put into words the joy I feel knowing I'm going to be a dad. I also know that I can't possibly know how or when my time will be up. But I do know I will love every moment I get to spend with the ones I love. I also know that I am thankful for so many men and women giving the greatest sacrifice to allow me to do so. I am proud to be an American, and I hope everyone who reads this feels just as proud to live in the greatest county on Earth.

Last Summer Vacation--Jake

2011-09-12T03:15:00.004-05:00

Hey everybody, hope you haven't forgotten about us. Had a busy week last week, got to take a Labor Day weekend trip to Pensacola Beach Florida just in time for Tropical Storm Lee!

How exciting was that? Not very, constant winds and rain, but at least we got out of town for a few days, ate great food (mostly), and had wonderful company. And Tuesday, the day we were headed back for Memphis, it was beautiful of course.

Friday through Monday night:

Tuesday Morning:

We did get a chance to go to the Naval Aviation Museum which was nice. I suggest it to anyone who makes it to Pensacola and has to deal with rain or sun, it's free and can kill some long afternoon hours.

On our way back from the museum we stopped at an old lighthouse that was built in 1859. The sun popped out for a second so we had to move quickly to get any pictures! Melissa took this while her cousin and I went up the 177 steps to the top, it was quite the workout, and when we got to the top the workout wasn't over, we had to fight the winds that had been hounding us for our entire trip! Supposedly it's haunted, but we encountered no ghosts on this day.

Before I forget, the wind was so bad it blew up quite the jellyfish crowd, which luckily, none in our party got stung.

I know everyone is asking what does this have to do with All Things Daddy? I'm getting to that. On the day we were about to leave I got an idea, and I 'm glad Melissa decided to go along with this thought that I had. I know everyone is familiar with traveling gnomes, but for those that aren't, I'll give a brief explaination. You find someone's garden gnome, steal it (borrow) for a trip and just take photos of it at the different places you went to, returning gnome at the end with no harm done. Well I'm applying this idea to Melissa's baby bump, without all the stealing. I have a small window of time to get this in, but here's the first, with many to follow hopefully.

Following up that weirdness, I'm going to end this blog on an awesomely high note. First of all, I was supposed to do this earlier, when I got off work, but I procastinate with the best of 'em (thanks Pop). I feel I have a great excuse though, I just worked 1st shift after finishing up second shift from Friday night. So, that means Friday I worked 4:00 to 12:30 am, and got into bed about 2 this morning. Then had to be up and back at work at or around 10:00 am. It just so happened Melissa had to go in today for on-call training so she was getting up early, and we all know when the spouse gets up, we aren't usually far behind(doesn't help the dogs wake up and proceed to lick my face too). So instead of getting up at 9:00, like the plan was, I was wide awake at 7:00! These are good times though, we get to lay together and chat and check ipod/iphone news. This morning was especially special though. I got to feel the baby move for the first time. Melissa told me Ethan was moving around, so I placed my hand, minus the Vulcan salute(see previous blog title There's a Baby in There), on her tummy and felt the little guy kick, or punch, or headbutt, it doesn't matter which. It was just so awesome to feel him move! I've said it before, but just like seeing him on the ultrasound, feeling him move makes it all the more real. I love him so much and I don't even know him yet.

Been Surfing the web -Ryan

2011-09-03T00:31:00.000-05:00

Katherine, deep into her 3rd trimester has retired to the bed. Thus left up to my own devices, I began surfing the web today and found a couple of strange sites...

These are some pretty ridiculous shots found on ManBabies.com

As you can see, the whole web site is dedicated to swapping heads with Dad and Baby, utter genius.

Here at Cracked.com, they have a top 20 list of (some not that stupid) stupid baby specific inventions.

(some incredibly stupid)

Drum roll please.... -Jake

2011-09-01T13:47:00.007-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, a moment you've not really been waiting for, but a moment all the same, can I have the envelope please. I would try to drag this out as long as possible but right now I'm too excited and too sleepy to think of clever one liners and the like. So, without further ado, we're having a BOY! That's right, circle gets the square for the block, I know that has nothing to do with anything, but I've always wanted to say or in this case type it out in a situation where it doesn't fit at all.

The doctor says everything is progressing quite nicely. I'm not sure I'll ever get over how awesome and breathtaking it is to see the little guy on the sonogram., They showed us his brain, kidneys, spine, leg bones, we even saw his eye sockets! We got the thumbs up on everything and I looked at Melissa and said she's doing a great job growing our child.

Now I'm going to catch a quick nap, but when I get home tonight I'll add a few pictures and see if I can upload the DVD somehow.

Music by The Monkees, vocals Peter Tork, Album The Birds, The Bees, and The Monkees, Bonus Track.

Ok, got the DVD uploaded, finally, I'm learning this stuff as I go...bear with me!

And the winner is....--Jake

2011-09-01T03:13:00.001-05:00

I would first like to apologize to anyone that was expecting to hear/read if Melissa and I were having a boy or a girl on Tuesday. In true daddy form, I totally mixed up appointment dates. The big reveal will be later today, around 11:00 am. Big news will be read here as soon as I get home, til then feel free to comment and guess who will be joining us in January, Ethan or Emma.

On another note, Operation: Healthy Dad has been underway for almost two months now and I'm still going strong. I've missed a few days here and there, but I usually go to the gym about five days a week. I regret to inform that I didn't hit my target weight to this point in the op, but I'm feeling great and eating better than I have in a long time. Needless to say, when we go to Pensacola this weekend for a last minute summer get away, I'll need to stay on point and not get carried away with the delicious foods I'm sure I'll be around. Enough about that.

I do, however, want to get into why I even started Operation: Healthy Dad. The biggest reason, of course, is to be a healthy dad. I know I'm not going to be the first 31 year old to have their first child at, well 31 (Ryan is beating me to it, BTW), but the thought of being the "older dad" when school functions start up for my tyke made me realize I'm going to be doing a lot of things that most people start doing in their 20's and even earlier in some cases (mom, you had your hands full with us, and Cindy you told me some stories, and I think you both did a great job). I feel, and hopefully Melissa feels the same way, that this isn't going to be our only child, so already there's going to be at least one, if not more, to come after baby E and hopefully, all before the age of 40. I need to be able to keep up with the herd, therefore, I'm buckling down and getting things under control.

Another reason is to be healthier for Melissa. Again, this goes into being able to keep up with everyone and everything, I don't want to be the dad that tuckers out and leaves most things to mom to take care of. This is a full on partnership and it's 50/50, not 70/30, or even 60/40. I know there'll be times when one of us needs that extra rest or long hot shower to relax and I just want to be ready to pull my weight.

And then there is a selfish reason to this healthier dad kick I'm on. I'm doing it for me, I want to be around as long as I can to be able to see all that I can in my children's lives and to grow old and grey with my love. I've done some stupid things in my life that weren't healthy at all, such as smoking amongst other things I won't get into. I always heard smoking takes so many years off the end of one's life, and I always said, before marriage, that I was fine with that, those are the worst years anyways. Well, I've had a change of heart, and I'm trying to quit smoking all together, although I still have the occasional square just to indulge myself. Plus, a healthier me means a better me.

That's all I've got this time around, until tomorrow afternoon when I get to let you followers know what types of baby stuff you guys get to send our way. Kidding of course, unless you feel moved to do so, joking joking joking, no seriously, send us stuff...

Days 3 & 4 of Birthing Class... not a riot. -Ryan

2011-08-31T21:54:00.004-05:00

If the cart of babies being wheeled by doesn't frighten you, she then asks you to take one. It then sits there in front of you and lays motionless for the next three hours. I knew we were to learn how to preform CPR on a newborn, and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Last night was full of the stuff you need to know, but didn't want to, about your baby. It's a good class and I am really glad I went, you just can't help but empathize with all of those parents who actually have been put in the scenarios we were training for. God bless them. I found myself uneasy with most of the conversation and techniques, although they were hypothetical. So much in fact, I didn't write about class three for fear of the whole post being one giant buzz kill.

I had to learn this stuff so now I will share, in country guy talk. "If yer kid ain't breathin, then don't you hesitate. Ya gotta grab hold of 'em like a football, with that face of theirs down looking at yer crotch, and wack 'em with your palm 5 times right between the blades. Than again front side, this time only use two fingers in between the belly button and the nipple line. Five and five."

If you discover your child's not breathing, then you must remember the Bee Gee's hit staying alive. Even if you have poor rhythm like me, you can keep that beat. Don't waste anytime and get to work, place two fingers right in between the nipples and press 30 times. Breathe twice into the child's mouth covering the mouth and nose, repeat. I guess they used to have other the steps like listening for breathing, or checking for an obstruction before CPR, but it was too much to remember & intimidating, and so now they just want you to get right to it. Thirty and two is the important part.

Mrs. Manning referred us to this video. I was happy to know that she too is an Office fan.

Another strange phenomenon I learned about is Plagiocaphaly, otherwise known as "flat head syndrome." According to the American Association of SIDS prevention physicians (AASPP), They highly recommend you lay your baby on their backs while they sleep, this is supposed to be the most effective way to prevent SIDS. As mothers have been doing this, the pressure from this position over time is causing the skulls of the child's head to flatten. One half of all children will suffer from this to some extent and (in some children) can even become severe enough to cause brain damage. We were recommended to look into getting a "noggin nest," which has a hole conveniently cut out to relieve that constant pressure. Also to have "tummy time" during the day.

Molly's due date will land somewhere in the middle of October, which means she will spend her first six months during the peak season for RSV. Respiratory Syncytial Virus is a highly contagious germ that causes lung and airway infections in infants. From what I understand, this can create a very grueling regiment for the parents- constant monitoring is in order because it can lead to much more serious problems. The number one cause of this bug is exposure to large crowds, such as Wal-mart, daycare, and other overpopulated places. The second leading cause is second hand smoke, either from breathing it in the same room, or off of clothes and hair. I always thought the parents that kept hand sanitizer in every room were way over protective, but I get it now. Don't get me wrong, I do plan on taking Molly out, and like it or not, family and friends who smoke will get to hold her. I will just be a little overly cautious for those crucial first six months when she is most susceptible. This means, very few trips to the store (completely covered when out) and smokers will have to get used to the hand sanitizer and removing smoking gear, jackets and such.

Well, that's it for this round of baby fear factor. Next week we are planning on having a 4D sonogram! If you have ever seen these things then you're going to find that post very boring. I you haven't, then prepared to be wowed!

Dads On Vacation

2011-08-30T00:46:00.001-05:00

The name really says it all.

I came across this blog that does nothing but upload images of different dads enjoying their vacations. I must say, I found myself skimming though the archives just staring at these men. You can tell many of them are having some very proud moments with their families. Reminds me of the Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Family Vacation. Dad's On Vacation