All Things Funny | Funny Jokes, Pictures, Videos

Nobody Funny Dance Video by Aircraftsman!!

2009-10-03T00:23:00.001+08:00

Check this funny video I've found on YouTube. It's the Nobody Song by the WonderGirls danced by Aircraftsman.

Funny Blond Handywoman Joke

2009-05-05T14:28:00.001+08:00

A blond, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire
herself out as a “handywoman” and started canvassing the
neighborhoods. She went to the front door of the first house
and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he
said. “How much will you charge me?”

The blond quickly responded, “How about $50?”

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything
she would need was in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing
the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize
that our porch goes all the way around the house?”

He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”

The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to
believe all those dumb blond jokes we’ve been getting by
e-mail lately.”

A short time later, the blond handywoman came to the door to
collect her money.

“You finished already?” the husband asked.

“Yes,” the blond replied, “and I had paint left over, so I
gave it two coats - no extra charge.”

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and
handed it to her.

“And by the way,” the blond added, “it’s not a Porch — it’s
a Lexus.”

Funny Jokes: From a Mother With Love

2009-04-23T11:20:00.001+08:00

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Funny Jokes: Impossible to Please

2009-04-22T11:08:00.001+08:00

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images 3

2009-01-29T11:31:00.002+08:00

46 Year-Old Political Virgin : Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images

Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images 2

2009-01-26T23:30:00.002+08:00

Matrix - Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images

Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images

2009-01-22T20:41:00.003+08:00

Barack Obama Funny Pictures and Images

Funny Old Ladies

2009-01-19T13:50:00.001+08:00

Funny Old Ladies

Funniest Joke 2

2009-01-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

Funniest Joke 2

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Funniest Joke 1

2009-01-13T15:57:00.000+08:00

Funniest Joke 1

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?". The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied,
down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

Funny Joke: How Old Are You?

2009-01-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

(Funny Joke: How Old Are You?)

A little girl and her mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

Funny Oscar De La Hoya Pictures and Images

2008-11-27T01:19:00.001+08:00

Funny Oscar De La Hoya Pictures and Images

Hahaha. lolz.

Watch Chuck Season 2 Episode 8 Chuck Versus the Gravitron

2008-11-25T23:21:00.006+08:00

Watch Chuck Season 2 Episode 8 Versus the Gravitron.

The latest episode of Chuck - Chuck Versus the Gravitron was aired last November 24, 2008.

Episode Overview:

The team has to work out a security problem at the Buy More.

You can watch the episode video here.

Check out for the next episode:

Chuck Season 2 Episode 8: Chuck Versus the Sensei.

(I think) Manny Pacquiao Can't Fight

2008-10-23T16:48:00.002+08:00

I doubt it; Manny Pacquiao can't really fight. lol

Is Optional REALLY Required????

2008-10-20T11:44:00.001+08:00

I've been thinking of this thing... Is optional really REQUIRED??? lol

(click the image to enlarge)

What do you think? :D

A Vocalist Turned Into What????????

2008-10-06T17:13:00.002+08:00

Check this out...............

lol. :))

Funny Wedding Dance - You Should Watch This!!!

2008-09-29T08:49:00.003+08:00

Whew!!! Are you familiar with wedding dance which was danced by the newly wed couples on it's reception? I know that most of you would say that the wedding dance was that romantic. But, check out this one!

Funny Wedding Dance - You Should Watch This!!!

Nasty Kid

2008-09-25T15:57:00.002+08:00

Hahaha. Take a look at this pic.........

Ouch!!! That really hurts!

2008-09-22T11:55:00.005+08:00

Yay!!! Look at the image below. Have you experienced that one? Whew!!!! How does it feel? Hehe

(click the image above)

Barack Obama's Mail Inbox!!!

2008-09-22T10:01:00.002+08:00

As I'm surfing online for the 2008 US Elections, I've stumbled to this page where I've found Barack Obama's mail inbox!!! Whew, I couldn't believe I would found this one. Hehe, want to see it? Here it is:

(click to enlarge the picture)

Funny Photos/Images: Guess What... :)

2008-09-19T10:41:00.003+08:00

Guess what had happened to this cyclist......... And what's that thing on his back??? Any idea? ;)

Any opinions? Answers? Hehe, do leave your comments. Thanks!

Funny Jokes: 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

2008-09-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Funny Jokes: What Do I Look Like?

2008-09-10T12:53:00.002+08:00

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"

The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?”

A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response. Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"

He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.

His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything." "Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said.

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband. "Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?

Funny Jokes: Punishment in Heaven

2008-09-05T14:39:00.001+08:00

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.

''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

Funny Jokes: Who's the Boss?

2008-09-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."