All True

Yay, Team America is on Sky Anytime, hi Kim Jong Il

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:41:11 PST

....Oh wait, that's not Kim Jong Il, and it's not Team America that's on :(

For a second I genuinely thought it was. So disappointed now... Signed By Katie Price isn't quite as awesome as Team America.

An All True Fact

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 13:22:41 PDT

Until today, the highest recorded October temperature in the UK was recorded in March. Fact.

Tesco Apps Fail!

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 08:26:30 PDT

Tesco have jumped on the "app for that" bandwagon, which could be a good thing if they make their apps useful. On their website, they have a section promoting their free apps, but someone in their marketing department might soon find themselves in trouble, as this is the picture they use to encourage us to go and try them out:

Can you spot the fail? That's right...to promote their new mobile apps, they have used a picture of someone looking at those apps in some kind of app store where all the Tesco apps have terrible 2 or 3 star ratings. Well done Tesco.... every little helps :)

The Chav's Lord's Prayer Looted In Riots

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 04:58:06 PDT

BREAKING NEWS: The Chav's Lord's Prayer, bought to you on this very blog back in 2008 has been looted in the recent riots.

Various altered versions have been flying around the 'net, renamed The Rioter's Prayer.

Here's some of the altered versions (lines altered by the virtual looters in bold!)

Our father, who art in prison, only mum knows his name, thy Riots come, read it in the sun, in Birmingham, as it is in London, give us this day our Welfare bread & forgive us our looting, as we're happy to loot those who defend stuff against us, lead us not into
employment but deliver us free housing, for thine is the Spliff, the Blackberry & the Lager, forever and ever...Innit

and

Our father, who art in prison, even my mum knows not his name. Thy rioting done, you'll read about it in the Sun, in Birmingham much as it is in London. Give us this day our welfare bread & forgive us for being true wanker's, as we forgive those who got ASBOS against us. Lead us not to an employment situation but deliver free housing. For thine is the petrol bomb, the plunder & its glories, forever and ever...I'm a dickhead

Breaking News: Experts believe London riots likely caused by CGI

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 23:56:57 PDT

London was yesterday troubled with a third night of rioting as masked youths ran amok, setting fire to cars and bins, throwing things at the police and generally acting like twunts. As if that wasn't bad enough, many of them are thought to have been wearing their trousers so low as to leave a significant percentage of their underwear exposed.

But what caused this outbreak of violence and stupidity? Investigators believe that the riots may have been organized using BlackBerry Messenger - that explains the "how", but what about the "why"?

Luckily experts here at All True believe they have found the answer. After literally minutes of thought, they have discovered what is almost certainly the definite cause of the behaviour that terrorised London last night. And that cause is CGI.

CGI is a medical and psychological disorder, and stands for Congenital Genital Inadequacy (it occurs only in males, though there is a female equivalent which is much rarer and known as CPS, or "Clown's Pocket Syndrome").

CGI is caused by defects in the developing foetus which massively retard the development of the genitals, causing the resulting boy-child being born with a penis so tiny that the child is often announced as being a baby girl, with the mistake sometimes not being spotted until several weeks after the birth.

While the physical aspect of this condition is very serious, it is the psychological aspects that come with it that lead to horrors such as we witnessed in London last night.

Those afflicted with CGI usually start manifesting symptoms such as violent tendencies and general dumb behaviour in their late teens, when they finally realise that no, it isn't going to get any bigger.

Psychologists have suggested that those with CGI try to compensate for the fact they don't HAVE big dicks by behaving as if they ARE big dicks, and it is that compensatory mechanism that is believed to have been the primary cause of the events that have shaken London over the last 3 nights.

In the light of this discovery, liberals have suggested that the low-slung trouser wearing thugs arrested last night could perhaps one day be rehabilitated through a proposed 5-year scheme in which leading penis pump manufacturers would work closely with the prison service to offer these offenders a route back to being decent members of society.

Those of more right-wing disposition reject this proposed rehabilitation project, and instead have demanded that the offenders be dragged through London behind police horses.

Here at All True we believe that a compromise between these two proposals is likely to be the best way forward - surely if we have them dragged through London *but by their nano-cocks* then they'll be punished and rehabilitated in one fell swoop.

*More on this developing news as we get it*

Lost in translation?

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 10:22:07 PDT

I saw this laptop holder in a local shop yesterday. I think the packaging text may have lost a little something in translation.

Can be convoluted

Be hard to tired for the hands

No using beyond the purpose.
Long-time placing is prohibited.
Wipe gently with dry or soft cloth. Don't use the gasoline

All True Horoscope

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 12:41:57 PDT

Some time ago, I posted my revolutionary All True Horoscope.
Unlike other horoscopes, it is accurate every day, for everyone.

And now it is available in a cutting edge audio-visual format. It's the future (so is garlic bread)!

The Next Decade Is Nigh

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 04:27:13 PST

We need to decide how we're going to pronounce "2010".

Should we say "twenty ten" or "two thousand and ten" or "two thousand ten"?
Or maybe we should go all "Nine Oh Two One Oh" and pronounce it "Two Oh One Oh". Decisions decisions!

We also need to think of a name for the decade 2010-2019.

Some think it should be called the "teenies", but I don't like that for two reasons - it makes it sounds like it will be frustrating and dominated by hormones, and 2010-2012 aren't "teen" numbers.

Also, going from the "noughties" to the "teenies" just seems far too silly :)

Some want to call it the "tweenies".

Personally I think it should be the "tenties*", because it starts with ten in the same way the 80s started with 80 etc.

Also, "tenties" conjures up camping imagery, and living out in nature, in tents, might just be a good way to reduce our carbon footprints :)

* following on from this, the next step would be to rename all the following:
eleven - tentyone
twelve - tentytwo
thirteen - tentythree
etc

This would also completely and instantly eliminate teen-age pregnancy and teen-age crime**.

** However it may also result in a massive increase in pregnancies and crime amongst "tenty-somethings"

The best presidential speech ever.... full version

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:02:23 PST

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww0EPKAZy-c

Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTaXa-9mu1Y

Watch out political comedians, the President is gonna take your jobs! :)

Don't Push Me

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:34:19 PST

'cos I'm close to The Edge.

Free money? I was suprised by TopCashBack - it actually worked!

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:44:15 PST

If you're thinking of changing your gas, electricity, mobile, Internet or telephone provider, or planning to make a big purchase (a big tv or a heft order of Christmas presents perhaps) then you should sign up to Top CashBack before you do it.

I did, as I was planning on changing my ISP and telephone provider to a cheaper combined package from Sky anyway. By switching over through Top CashBack I got £20 cash back after I'd switched, as well as saving ~£15 per month due to the cheaper package I'd changed to.

To be honest, I didn't think the promised cash back would actually materialise, but there's nothing to lose so I gave it a go. To my surprise, it did materialise, and is in my bank account right now.

If I changed my mobile phone provider and gas / electricity provider, I could save money on my bills and get something like £100 cash back too (unfortunately I'm locked in with Orange for a good 6 more months or so, alas, and my gas / electricity comes through key meters so the switch deals aren't so good...still worth considering though!).

It takes a while for the cash to come through, over a month for me, but that's fine. If you're planning to change providers anyway, you may as well do it through Top CashBack as you've got nothing to lose, and could get a nice bit of cash for doing what you would have done anyway!

I also got £1 cashback for signing up to get a free SIM card... I haven't used it yet, and probably won't, but being paid £1 to be given a free SIM card is quite nice :)

They often have offers for major online retailers, so before you make a purchase of Play.com or Argos or whatever, check TopCashBack first - you might get some money back, just by clicking through to Play or Argos via the TopCashBack link.

It's money for nothing, so if you want to earn cash back on your Christmas shopping, or want to switch to a cheaper provider for something and get paid to do it, sign up with Top CashBack.

Sign up through my link - http://www.topcashback.co.uk/ref/Alltruism - and I'll get money too*, win-win!

I've made £26 so far, just by doing purchases or switchovers I was going to do anyway. That's not bad at all considering I probably spent less than 10 minutes of time signing up and using the Top Cashback site!

* well, I will get £1 when you get your first £5 back, but you'll probably get a lot more than £5 if you just switch one utility provider, so getting to the £5 threshold should be quick n easy :)

Windows Mobile Shortcuts & HTC Touchflo 3D Internet Tab Browser

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:50:44 PST

If you want to create a Start Menu short cut for a specific Java App (such as Opera Mini 5 Beta) on your Windows Mobile phone, first you need to go to

\Windows\appdb

and have a look for s#_suite files (with the # being a number). Each of these represents a particular Java App that you have installed - we can't see which is which at the moment, but that's ok - just note down the numbers.... I have three Java Apps installed, s0_suite, s1_suite and s2_suite (if you have removed apps, yours might not be sequential).

Now, using a decent file system browser that lets you edit file properties and see file extensions, such as Total Commander, go to:

\Windows\Start Menu\Programs

Find the shortcut to your Java middleware (mine is called java.lnk), and create a copy of it. Rename it to what you want - e.g. Opera Mini.lnk.

Go to Properties, then to Shortcut. It will have something like "\Windows\jbed.exe" as the target (possibly followed by some parameters, which you should leave as they are.

We don't want this shortcut to just run the Java middleware though, we want it to load a particular Java app, so add the following to the end of the target field:

-run s#_

Where # is one of the numbers of the s#_suite files we looked at earlier.

Save the change (OK in Total Commander). Double tap the shortcut you've created (in this example, Opera Mini.lnk) to find out which of your Java apps it runs.

If it isn't the one you wanted, repeat the previous step with a different number (from the list of s#_suite files we saw earlier...three possible values to try in my case).

Work your way through all the possible values for # until your shortcut loads the right app.

My Opera Mini.lnk ended up with the following Target:

"\Windows\jbed.exe" -DFile.maxStorageSize=64M -run s1_

However, this shortcut will have the same icon as your Java program, which might not be what you want. As I'm creating my shortcut to point to Opera Mini, so I wanted the Opera icon.

To get that, just change the last bit from -run s1_ to -run s1_?\Windows\OperaL.exe,0

Or alternatively point it to a different program that you want to use the icon from.

You will then have a shortcut link in Start - Programs, with the name you gave it (Opera Mini in the example), which loads your chosen Java App.

Once you've got that, you can run it from there, or add it to the TouchFlo 3D programs tab if you want.

I created a shortcut for Opera Mini 5 Beta. This is a fast and capable browser. As I already have Opera Mobile 9.7 Beta installed, I decided I don't really need the Opera 9.5 that runs from the TouchFlo 3D Internet Tab.... I thought the faster Opera Mini would be a better option.

To change the browser loaded when you click the Internet icon in TouchFlo 3D's Internet tab, do the following:

Using a decent file system browser, like Total Commander, go to \Application Data\Manila.

Inside there will be a file called InternetPortal-en-US.xml (the US might be different, depending on your country). Go to properties and untick "Read Only".

Then edit the file (in Total Commander click the Pen & Paper icon at the bottom of the screen).
The second line in the file reads {InternetPortal}
You just need to insert the following as a new line after that (before the "IncludeUserFavorites" bit), only using angle brackets instead of curly brackets:

{BrowserExe}\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Opera Mini.lnk{/BrowserExe}

You can put whatever program (.exe or shortcut .lnk) in between the BrowserExe tags.

Save the file. Now when you go to your TouchFlo 3D Internet tab, your Internet icon will now load the program you selected - Opera Mini in the example above.

If it doesn't work you've probably pointed it to a non-existent file, so check it and try again.

If you can't get it to work, you can delete the whole line you added, and the Internet tab will then go back to its default (Opera).

Least Popular Griffin

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 07:50:58 PDT

After watching Nick Griffin make an arse of himself in front of the nation on Question Time last night, I lost my certainty that Meg Griffin was the least popular Griffin in the world. Now that title belongs to an ungodly fusion of the two.... Megnick.

That's enough pig!

Another Alternative Medicine Fail!

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:14:19 PDT

You may have seen people with arthritis wearing copper or magnetic wrist-bands which are marketed as being able to relieve the pain of what can be a truly horrific condition.

A recent, tightly controlled trial by researchers at the University of York, found that the supposedly pain-relieving magnetic or copper bands worked no better than placebo.

That is to say, you may as well just tie a bit of old string around your wrist as buy one of the bands - the copper or magnetism of the band doesn't help relieve the pain at all.

There are people selling these simple bands, to desperate people, for around £25 - £65, claiming (or, if they are more cautious about legal repercussions, just implying) that they can relieve the pain of arthritis.

In the absence of strong evidence of effectiveness* (and the presence of strong evidence of ineffectiveness, mentioned above), charging vulnerable, suffering people £65 for a simple magnetic or copper bracelet that is no more effective than placebo at treating their pain is surely exploitation of arthritis sufferers isn't it?

Somehow the alternative "medicine" industry often manages to portray itself as the little guy, trying to help people where conventional medicine and the "big bucks" of "big Pharma" struggles to.

This friendly, well-meaning cottage-industry image isn't accurate - its a multi-billion dollar international market, with large companies making large profits from the sale of their products, many (most) of which have either not been properly tested or have been properly tested and been found not to work.

Make sure you don't hand over your money for products that aren't tested, or which have been tested and found to be ineffective.

See the BBC's report on this at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8310792.stm

On the subject of alternative medicine in general, I highly recommend having a listen to Tim Minchin's excellent 9-minute beat-poem, Storm. It's scathing, but hilarious and fantastically well written - check out the official version on YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ujUQn0HhGEk

* there were some tests that showed some positive effects, but they concluded that the results could have been due to the placebo effect and that more research was needed. The BBC's report from back in 2004 is here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4101045.stm and is a lot more positive in tone, as the evidence was inconclusive but there was signs of positive effects. The further research the previous tests concluded was necessary has now been done by the researchers at York University, and the new research strongly suggests and positive effects attributed to the bands are actually due to the placebo effect.

A New Perfume For Rap Fans

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:13:20 PDT

A Hippy Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 06:20:01 PDT

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 07:02:35 PDT

A bit of a shock, and I think Obama's work towards peace has only just begun - but he's got off to an amazing start, already having done more towards furthering world peace than the previous administration, and more than the current leaders of other nations.

Congratulations Mr Obama! Now, I want war to be history before your first term is up, ok? No pressure :)

I think it must have been this Vote Obama banner I made that did it.... its powers were stronger than I expected, so I can now humbly take credit not just for getting him elected, but also for winning him the Nobel Prize! Go me :)

Phun With Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:30:43 PDT

Here's a few images I've been messing about with.

This is from a tutorial in PhotoShop Creative magazine:

Quite a nice effect, not quite as seamless as the one in the tutorial, but not too bad.

Here's a holiday photo with some digital drama added:

Here's one I did from a "Weight Gain" tutorial:

Here's a nightmare vision I had last year:

Here's my conversion of a girl into a zombie:

Here's my twitter advert:

Here's the Vote Obama banner I made. It worked :)

Here's a 30th birthday badge for 300 fans:

And finally, my ad for Mountain Dew - the caffeine overdose in a can:

That's all folks!

Social Networking - The Twittering

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:32:00 PDT

My history of social networking is fairly uneventful, I've never really got into it in a big way, but I've enjoyed dabbling with it.

I signed up to MySpace years ago, and soon got bored of it. Then I joined Facebook. Which would be brilliant if it wasn't so saturated with spammy apps.

The "biggest thing" at the moment seems to be Twitter, which oddly is also the smallest thing in terms of what it does - just short messages, of no more than 140 characters (although they can include hyperlinks). That's about it really. You can post to Twitter from your computer, or even from your phone (via SMS, or via mobile Internet).

You can view the latest messages posted by the entire Twitter community if you want (although you can choose for your own messages not to show in this bit), or you can view the recent messages from the people you've chosen to follow.

These can be your real life friends if you want, but it seems that most people use it to follow celebrities so that they can regularly receive important updates about the minutiae of their celebrity lives.

Some celebrities provide genuinely interesting updates about what they are up to, while others seem to have PR people running their Twitter accounts for them, which can make them a bit boring to follow.

Stephen Fry is one of the most popular people you can follow, and he treats his virtual stalkers with a near-constant stream of updates, wherever in the world he might happen to be. He is also known for interacting with his followers more than most.

On one occasion, he posted messages to Twitter (an act known as "tweeting", with the messages themselves being referred to as "tweets") from inside a lift he happened to get stuck in - he even posted pictures of himself and the other unfortunates during their incarceration:

In a way, it was as if all of us who Follow him were in there with him. Although not literally of course as 750,000+ people in a lift together for several hours would no doubt be somewhat unpleasant, even with Mr Fry present to provide his well-loved witty banter.

If you haven't already, come out and play with the Twitterers!

The Customer Is Not Always Right (and some other website recommendations)

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:30:26 PDT

I found a rather good website today. It's called Not Always Right and is a repository of stories where customers have been unreasonable or just flat-out wrong.

It's quite funny, and if you love sites like Texts From Last Night and Passive Aggressive Notes then you'll probably enjoy it.

I've worked in computer tech support and have heard a customer who, when asked what version of Windows they have, responded without irony or sarcasm: "Double glazed".

That makes me more inclined to believe that a lot of the stories on Not Always Right are true :)

Check it out now at http://notalwaysright.com/

Here's one of the stories as an example:

In a children's clothing store:

Customer: “I’m looking for an outfit for a one year old girl.”

Me: “Sure, all of the twelve month clothing is in this section.”

Customer: “No, she’s one.”

Me: “Right, so that would be over here.”

Customer: “You just said that was twelve months!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *slowly* “I’m looking for ONE YEAR.”

Me: “Would you like to go up one size to 18 months?”

Customer: “Is there someone else who can help me?”

(I go and get my manager.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Your employee doesn’t understand English. I’m looking for clothing for my one year old granddaughter.”

Manager: “The twelve month clothes are over here.”

Customer: “What is WRONG with you people?”

iHate The Use Of The Lower Case "i" As A Prefix For Everything

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:51:33 PDT

Today, the iPhone is probably the most talked about gadget in the world.

I regularly see news about iPhones show up on my iGoogle page.

If I wanted to, I could read about iPhones on iGoogle on an iMac.

Or perhaps I could watch "I, Claudius" on an iPlayer widget in my iGoogle on an iMac!

In the days before the "i" prefix was attached to seemingly everything, we were plagued by the "e" prefix, which at least stood for something - electronic.

We had e-mail, e-books and e-business. That's fine - these were all electronic versions of existing things, and having to say "electronic mail" every time would become annoying pretty quickly.

So the "e" prefix was helpful, for two reasons - it told us that we were talking about an electronic version of something, and it saved us having to pronounce 75% of the syllables in "electronic" every time.

The "i" prefix has no such redeeming features. Apple, who are one of the companies most responsible for its current ubiquity, originally stated it stood for Internet. Of course, since "Internet" is a proper noun it starts with a capital letter, so using the lowercase "i" prefix is a minor crime against grammar.

The more generous amongst you may be willing to overlook that, but even then, its standing for "Internet" doesn't really make sense. Apple originally introduced the prefix in the names of the iMac and iBook.

Sure, both of these could be used to access the Internet, but neither was noticeably more Internet-related than other desktop computers or laptops. In fact the iBook was the "cheapo" part of the Apple laptop range - using the Internet would be more fluid on the much more powerful (and much more descriptively named) Power Book series than on the supposed "Internet Book" range.

Seemingly encouraged by the success of these iProducts Apple went a bit iCrazy, and created the iPod, iTunes, iPhone and iLife.

"iDon't Believe It!"

As if that wasn't iPlenty, the iLife software package consists of iPhoto, iMovie, iDVD and... wait for it.... iWeb. Oh, and it also includes GarageBand, which somehow missed out on getting an "i". But that is "the exception that proves the rule*".

Almost all of these applications, apart from iWeb, have little or nothing to do with the Internet.

The "i" prefixes are seemingly utterly meaningless, just a branding-executive's fetish.

The iPlague has spread outside of Apple's product line-up though, with the BBC having branded its online TV service / application "iPlayer". Google have an offering called iGoogle. There's even an iCoke website!

iCan't take it any more, iJust want branding people to start using a bit more iMagination (and no, you can't just have the "i" stand for imagination!) and get off the iPrefix bandwagon. Please?

* actually this phrase in its modern usage is nonsensical, so apologies for using it! Originally it made sense as "proves" was used in the sense of "puts to the test", and in the case of exceptions, "tested to breaking point".

Oh god, I think I'm becoming Mark Corrigan!

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 14:56:11 PDT

If you've seen Mitchell and Webb's excellent series Peep Show, you'll know who Mark Corrigan is - and if you haven't seen it, you're missing out.

It is very funny - one of the best comedies currently on air in fact, but it is also one of the most painful things to watch - several times in each episode you'll cringe at the awkward situations the two main characters get themselves into, and cringe still more as they inadvertently dig themselves deeper in their efforts to escape back to something that they can fool themselves into believing to be normality.

I've started thinking things while watching the episodes only to hear Mark Corrigan think them about 1 second later.

Yesterday Jez said something like "maybe there's a higher power guiding everything", and I thought "no there isn't" almost exactly in sync with Mark saying it aloud. My mental voice is even starting to sound like him.

Oh god, I'm becoming Mark Corrigan...I'm going to wake up one day and I'm going to actually bloody BE Mark... SHIT!

Some Peep Show quotes from IMDB:

Jeremy Osborne: Mark! You've got to toughen up. This is the 21st century. You've seen Mad Max haven't you. That's what's going to happen!
Mark Corrigan: Mad Max is not necessarily going to happen
Jeremy Osborne: Oh sure mate. You live in your Hitchikers' Guide world where you wander around in your dressing gown and have a nice cup of tea

Mark Corrigan: [to Jeremy] As you're always saying... the Beastie Boys fought, and quite possibly died, for my right to party!

Geek Science - The Manga Guide To Molecular Biology

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 02:16:59 PDT

Do you wish you knew more about molecular biology?
Probably not. However, if you do but find conventional textbooks a little dry then this could be just what you're looking for.

Yes, it's the Manga Guide To Molecular Biology - surely the ultimate geek stocking filler?

Need to know how the liver enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase works in breaking down alcohol?

Fear not - the Manga will explain, and with plenty of crazy explosions and excessive motion blur!

Check it out now:
http://www.neatorama.com/2009/09/30/the-manga-guide-to-molecular-biology/

Say It Right - A Pronunciation Guide

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:00:38 PDT

To be clearly understood, it is important to pronounce words correctly so that people listening to you know what you are saying.

But some words are often pronounced incorrectly (and the only word that can correctly be pronounced incorrectly is "incorrectly" itself!).

Here's some examples:

Laboratory some of these may contain Lab Rats, but that doesn't mean you pronounce it "lab-rat-ory". There's an O in the middle there, and it isn't silent. It's "luh-borra-tree".

Aluminium this word contains 2 "i"s, and they deserve equal pronunciation rights so don't say "aloom-inum", say "alum-in-eeum". Like "condominium" you don't pronounce that "condome-inum" do you?

Nuclear this means "of or pertaining to the nucleus", and nucleus is pronounced "new-clee-us". Nuclear is pronounced "new clear". Not "nukuler". If you can't say it, you shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of anything nuclear... clear?

Specific The S isn't silent. Don't say "can you be more pacific?" unless you are wanting someone to adopt qualities associated with the world's largest ocean.

Pacific Ocean while this is a specific ocean, distinct from the others, you should not pronounce Pacific Ocean as "specific ocean". A "specific ocean" could just as well refer to the Atlantic ocean for example, or the Arctic Ocean, which brings me to...

Arctic both the Cs in this word are hard Cs, pronounced like Ks. It's c-cold in the Arctic, and it's pronounced "ark-tik". Not "art-ic", which leads us neatly on to:

Artic This is short for "articulated truck". So don't say "Ark-tik truck" unless you are talking specifically about a non-articulated truck that operates in the Arctic. If it IS articulated, it would be an Arctic artic.

Ask The order of the letters are very important. Note that the S comes before the K. It isn't nice to "axe" people.

Cavalry it is pronounced "cavul-ry", not "Calvary", which is another name for Golgotha.

Dilate this is pronounced "die late", which is much better than dying early. Which is what your speech might do if you pronounced it "die-uh-late".

Diphtheria this is a tricky one. Almost everyone gets this wrong. I know I usually do. It is important to remember that it isn't written as "dip" followed by "theria". It is written as "diph" followed by "theria", and is pronounced "dif-theory-uh".

Espresso count the Xs. There aren't any! That's why it is pronounced "ess-presso", not "ex-presso" (which conjures up images of an Italian parcel delivery company).

Et cetera another one where we need to count the Xs before we try and pronounce it. There aren't any! That's why we pronounce it "et setter-ruh" (or at least "et setra"), not "ex etra".

February this contains two Rs. Make sure you don't ignore the first one it's "Feb-roo-erry" not "Feb-you-erry".

Jewelry say "jewel" then say "ree". Don't say "joo lerry". If you are British you can get away with saying "joo-el urry".

Ku Klux Klan you'll probably only ever need to say this when denouncing them, but when you do say it, note that the Ku doesn't contain an L. It isn't "kloo", it's "koo".

Library a little like February, there's two Rs in quick succession here. Keep your mouth fit by pronouncing both it's "libe-rarey" not "libe-aree".

Prerogative don't say "puh rogative", give that first R its due!

And I think this one is a good one to close this article with:

Pronunciation this one is commonly mispronounced it isn't "pronounce-ee-ayshun" it's "pronun-seeayshun".

So that's how you'll be pronouncing all those words from now on, capitchee? :)

Top Tips To Help Men Last Longer (in bed, and out!) And Give Their Women More Pleasure

noreply@blogger.com (Alltruism) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 09:16:13 PDT

It is a fact that, on average, we men just can't keep up with women, however hard we try.

In most cases, women, the fairer sex, simply last a lot longer than we men do.

We just don't have the endurance women have, and usually cross that ultimate "finish line" long before they are anywhere near it.

In this "battle of the sexes" finishing first is the worst outcome. Ideally, men and women would cross that magical finish line at the same time, together in bed, but in reality that rarely happens.

It seems to be a fact of life that men generally finish first (nice guys or not!), but luckily there are some excercises and other things we men can do to help us last longer and give the maximum amount of pleasure to the women in our lives.

Pumping iron having a regular weights workout at the gym can increase our muscle mass, and muscles burn calories, and that helps burn fat. Having too much fat in our bodies can significantly reduce our endurance, so keeping it to a low level is a key element in lasting longer.

Plus having good muscle tone and strength make us less likely to injure ourselves when we're called upon to re-arrange the furniture, or lug that heavy suitcase of hers out to the car. It's win win!

Getting that heart pumping the heart has long been a symbol of love, and making it pump well is another key to lasting longer. This means doing cardio-vascular excercises like swimming, jogging, or even just going for long, brisk walks start gently and build it up slowly as your fitness improves.... don't overdo it, as this can be harmful, and could make you finish even earlier, and we don't want that!

Over time you will find you can run up the stairs without getting short of breath, and you'll be able to last for hours (e.g. on the treadmill) your heart will be pumping more efficiently, so you'll find you have the energy to keep on going much longer than before.

Cardio-vascular excercise will burn calories and so will reduce the amount of fat you carry, which also means your veins and arteries will be less likely to narrow or get blocked. That means your blood can easily get where its needed.

A strong heart pumping blood through good veins can only be a good thing, especially since poor blood flow and narrow blood vessels can seriously reduce male performance and endurance.

For similar reasons, Stopping Smoking will also help you last longer. Quite a lot longer, especially if you are currently a heavy smoker.

Check your balls regularly it may be embarassing, but it saves lives. Make sure your balls are healthy and you might well find you last longer!

Eating a healthy diet getting a good variety of fresh fruit and vegetables in your diet is very imporant you will feel healthier, have more energy, and you will last a lot longer!

These are the basic keys to lasting longer, but how long can you expect to last?

In the UK, the average member of the male sex lasts for 76.52 years.

Not bad, but he needs to last even longer because the average UK female lasts a lot longer at 81.63 years. That's a difference of just over 5 years.

Given that couples tend to be of similar age, or with the man being slightly older than the woman, that means that on average most men stop being around to please their women 5 or more years too early, and that is not a good result for either sex!

With you gone, who is going to open all those jammed jam-jars?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy

With the exceptions of Namibia, Lesotho and Mozambique, it seems that men in almost every country aren't lasting long enough to keep their women happy right up to the grand finale.

If you follow the tips above, you have a good chance of lasting longer and being around to keep your woman happy for those extra years.... good luck men, I hope this helps you keep up with your other halves!