All you need is Luff

{My Current Obsession}

2012-02-26T06:38:00.001-08:00

I have an obsession with colored denim. I've always had an odd inclination for wearing bright colors. A few years ago I spotted a photo of some unimportant celebrity wearing green pants and that is when I decided I needed a pair in my life. Well, it's taken a few years to acquire said pants but nonetheless, I have found my perfect pair! I'm kind of in love with them.

{The Art of Today}

2012-02-06T20:01:00.000-08:00

The art of doing it today, now. Not in an hour. Not tomorrow. Today. Now.

Photo Credit: Me

I'm working hard on changing a lot in my life. I'm sure that's quite apparent to many of you. In particular, one thing I'm working diligently on changing is this horrible habit of mine to postpone just about everything. I've never seen myself as a procrastinator per se because I always am very diligent in my studies. I rarely wait until any academic deadline to start something. However, being this diligent in my studies deceives me into believing that I'm not a procrastinator.

I was wrong.

Everything I do, I postpone it for hours, day, weeks. I find myself constantly telling myself, "I will do that on the weekend when I have some free time." However, on the weekends I tell myself, "I'm resting now, I will do that during the week, when I'm productive." It's a vicious cycle. Doing laundry in a couple hours turn into a couple days. Answering emails tomorrow turns into weeks. This behavior disgusts me, I must do something. There's a quote I repeatedly tell myself,

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today" - Benjamin Franklin

I need to take this quote to heart. I need to stop procrastinating everything. One way I hope to achieve this is make a to-do list for each day. I'm always a list-maker. I love making lists. I've gotten quite lazy about paying attention to them, though. So, for now, my main goal is to actually pay attention to my to-do list. Only list things that I actually intend to do that day and work hard to not procrastinate. I'm open to any other suggestions as well.

{Update}

2012-01-24T17:23:00.000-08:00

I should apologize. In my last post, I used the word dire. I'm such a total drama queen. I admit it. While my situation most definitely caused me quite a bit of emotional torment, dire was not the correct word to choose. I think I may have worried a few.

Let me start off with saying I'm doing well alhamdulillah. Shortly after that post, I came to my conclusion. This decision I have been thinking about for 6+ months. It was eating away at me. It was interfering with my relationship with Allah swt. I began having resentful and angry thoughts about my deen. That's when I knew there had to be a change. I either needed to one, completely accept my decision and forget the doubts, or two, change my decision. There was no third option. No more constant emotional teeter tottering.

So what I'm about to tell you is something that I have not told a lot of people, relatively. I have yet to make a youtube video about it. I haven't even publicly made it obvious to my facebook friends. About the only ones that know this are those I work with because it's quite obvious. I've decided to no longer wear hijab.

This is something that I have contemplated, like I said, for a very long time. I finally came to the conclusion that being a resentful hijabi was far more detrimental than being a grateful non-hijabi. There's not much reward in doing something for Allah if you're angry, without the right intentions, and not grateful for the things in your life.

I would say the problem began about a year ago, which was 6 months after I started wearing it. Actually, I don't believe I ever had the right intentions to start with. I wanted to be known as a muslim and to fit in with the muslim community. Of course I felt good pleasing Allah, but I can look back now and know that that wasn't my sole reason for wearing it. Without pure intentions, there's nothing in this world that can sustain a good deed for long periods of time. I had a good run at it. A year and a half. I spent those 18 months constantly convincing myself I was happy with my hijab, when I was completely miserable.

However, as I was saying, the noticeable problem began about a year ago. Hijab made me so focused on my outer appearance. I was constantly worried about if an inch of my wrists were showing, a centimeter of my neck was exposed, if a loose piece of hair was sticking out. Hijab for me was all superficial. It didn't form any special relationship with Allah that people raved about. It actually did the opposite. Since I felt much more muslim with a headscarf, my practice of Islam began to slip. Being a white convert before hijab, I always worked really hard to be muslim. After hijab, I didn't have to work so hard because I felt muslim. I began to pray less, thank Allah less, and question Allah's plans for my life. I'm not saying I gave up total hope and gratitude, but it was significantly less.

So this is what made me finally decide that I must remove my hijab if I want to fix my relationship with Allah. I love Allah with all of my heart and I love Islam till the day that I die. However, I don't love hijab. It's that simple. Maybe one day I can have pure intentions to wear it again but only Allah knows that.

I don't regret wearing hijab, however. Through this difficult experience I've learned so much. For one obvious point, I've learned that a headscarf isn't a vital act of worship. You can be muslim without it and that wearing it doesn't make you a muslim. A muslim is someone who submits to Allah. I don't find resentment and questioning Allah's choices as submission. Therefore, I feel I am much more willing to submit to Allah without my hijab, as ironic as that sounds to the close minded.

Second, I find my internal relationship with Allah much more sacred that my outward dawah. What I mean by that is wearing hijab is great for showing people how muslims are and how we act and behave. It doesn't, however, show how we think and how we worship in our hearts. I find those two aspects to be more critical. Without a sound mind and heart, behavior and action have little foundation.

These are just my opinions. I'm sure many with throw ayat and hadith at me. Go ahead. Do as you will. I will do as I will. We live on this earth for such a short period of time. If we close our mind off and don't allow it to adapt to the situations were are submerged in, than life will be nothing more but a sad blink. Of course life isn't just about not being miserable, Allah wants us to do good. However, miserable people rarely do much good.

So my situation as of now. I'm working on cleansing my heart and building my relationship back with Allah. I'm not sure what the future holds for this blog or my youtube. I'd like your guys' opinion on this matter. Would you like me to continue my blog sans-hijab? I may turn it into a more lifestyle blog rather than purely fashion. As I've said, I'm working on focusing less on the outward.

Please let me know your thoughts and feedback.

aSalam Alaykum

{Hiatus}

2012-01-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

I've decided to take a hiatus from blogging. I always told myself I would never do such a thing. However, my circumstances are dire and I must step away from everything. I wish I could explain in more detail but I need to work through some problems by myself. I've gotten so much advice from my loved ones but I've come to the conclusion that at the end of the day, we're the only ones who can make decisions for ourselves. I wish I could include you all on my decision making process but I'm kind of overwhelmed with advice right now.

I've made istakhara and inshaAllah my decision will be aided or prevented. As soon as I have an update on what is going on, I will fill you all in.

I may put up a few new videos on youtube over the next couple weeks but that is the extent of Saluff for now. I apologize in advance and hope to come back to my beloved blog as soon as possible.

Now I leave you with this cool shirt I made

{New Year, New Lab}

2012-01-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

I've moved to a new lab. The last one was problematic to say the least. I'm really loving the new one. Everything truly does happen for a reason. 6 months ago when picking out my initial lab, I wasn't even considering this one. However, after my first semester of grad school, my goals and desires academically have completely transformed, which made me change my mind about what kind of lab I wanted to be in. Right now it seems to be a perfect fit. Alhamdulillah.

{Cardi: Kohls}
{Top: F21}
{Scarf: Gift from Su}
{Cuff: Target}

2011: Year in Review

2011-12-31T10:17:00.000-08:00

I can't believe we've gone through an entire year again. Alhamdulillah I survived, it was a rough year. I'm very optimistic that 2012 will be much better for me inshaAllah. I don't usually make new years resolutions because it's futile, I only make changes when I have the spontaneous urge to do so.

This year has seen quite a long of changes and struggles, for me and for millions of others.

I graduated from my undergraduate university. I started graduate school to get my masters. My desires for the future have completely changed and now include a PhD. I moved myself from Florida to Indiana and from Indiana to Delaware two months later. I've spent the majority of the year living absolutely alone. I've gained numerous friends all while losing my closest. I've had a couple broken hearts. I've gained and lost some weight. I discovered yet another failing organ.

And yet all these trials for me seem minuscule compared to what the citizens of other nations have had to endure. Arabs have fought and died for their freedom. Natural disasters have destroyed entire cities and livelihoods. Old leaders have been replaced with a glimmer of hope for the respective nation. What keeps me sane, however, is that for every bad, there seems to be some good that follows. Allah (swt) is just.

Anywho, here are my favorite outfit posts from each month throughout the year. This is my first full year of blogging, since I started halfway into 2010.

Thank you for all the support throughout the year!

Scary Plane

2011-12-27T19:53:00.000-08:00

I'm in Louisville again. The plane ride was horrid. I'm deathly afraid of flying and the turbulence was bad during the last half. Alhamdulillah we landed safely. I don't have my camera nor camcorder with me because I wanted to treasure the time I have with my family. What this means for you is no more posts or videos for a week. I hope for things to resume more smoothly after that inshaAllah.

Until then, enjoy these very old photos from pre-HFW again.

{Get to the Chopper}

2011-12-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah. The semester is over and I survived. Thursday I had a significant biochemistry final worth 40% of the final grade. Friday was my day to present in front of the entire graduate program, which was my largest presentation of the semester. It was an extremely stressful week but alhamdulillah I survived. Now I'm determined to be completely and utterly lazy without an ounce of guilt.

Here are some photos from before HFW. I can tell that because there's still leaves on the tress. We haven't had leaves on our trees in weeks. I've been praying hard for snow and last night we had an extremely minor flurry storm. Enough to make me partially happy.

{HFW Day 7: Friend Time}

2011-12-05T06:48:00.001-08:00

Wow! It just occurred to me I never posted day 7! I'm a silly girl. So this is something similar to what I'd wear if I was hanging out with friends. Laid back, colorful, with blue jeans.

It's cold outside!

{HFW Day 6: Date Night}

2011-12-03T10:32:00.001-08:00

Gosh I can't believe how slow I've been this HFW. Anywho, this is what I'd wear if I was married and were to go on a date with my hubby. Sometime I worry that I will never find anyone compatible for me. Then I remind myself that I need to be enjoying this time in my life.

If I ever get married inshaAllah, I may never have a moment like this again. I only have to worry about myself. I pick my schedule (relatively), I go where I want, when I want, and if I want complete silence, it's extremely easy to find. Not many people, even those single ladies out there, can say this. I should be grateful, yet, as usual, not grateful enough. Sometimes it's hard to appreciate what you have when you're extremely lonely.

The reason I picked this outfit is because I wanted something with girly materials and prints. Silks, pearls, animal print…. very girly indeed!

Picking out my jewelry for the evening

Got to smell good for the hubby

{HFW Day 5 - Eid}

2011-12-01T20:28:00.001-08:00

I realized after I took these photos that this is the shirt I wore for my last formal outfit during HFW. I can't help it, I don't have much formal attire. I don't really have a cultural outfit, which makes me really sad. I love salwar kameez but the one I had wasn't actually mine so I had to eventually return it.

Anywho, so this is normally something along the lines that I'd wear for Eid. Nothing too wild, just a pop of the orange color. I love these flats so much, I wish they were broken in so I could wear them more often.

{HFW Day 4: Travel}

2011-11-30T12:54:00.001-08:00

The one place I've wanted to visit for the past few years is Malaysia. Partly because Malaysians are so adorably fashionable, but also because the food always looks very yummy! I would say the only downside I've ever seen is that it's quite warm.

Since it's the opposite hemisphere, It would be entering summer right now. I might appreciate the warm weather in the middle of winter actually. Being the middle of the warm weather, I picked a more springy outfit. Something that would be cooler in the warm weather. Also, the Malaysian bloggers I follow usually wear bright colorful chiffon scarves so that's why I chose this one. The style I tried to do from this tutorial from one of my favorite bloggers.

{HFW Day 3: Break the Rules}

2011-11-30T07:03:00.000-08:00

To me, this was the most challenging theme for me. I'm someone who regularly breaks the fashion rules because I don't really believe there are any rules. I love mixing strange colors, patterns, and materials together on a regular basis. So when I was thinking of one thing I've never worn in public due to not being brave enough, it was layering multiple dresses over each other.

I've seen this on the runway some (Chanel Fall 2009 I believe) and I've contemplated it. I have yet to wear an outfit like this but it was an interesting outfit to put together. Also, I'm not someone to cinch me waste ever but there was so much fabric I had to slim down the bulk.

By the way, sorry this post was last. I'm swamped with work.

{HFW Day 2 - My Hobby}

2011-11-28T15:27:00.001-08:00

Whenever I'm completely stressed out or upset about something, the thing I always turn to is my favorite hobby. My hobby is photography. I've been doing photography for 8 years now. Over the years I've learned so much and have tried many different kinds of photography.

I've been the photo editor of the high school yearbook and worked professionally for the Purdue University newspaper. I've experimented with so many different kinds of photography but I always turn to the same kind - nature. I love nature photography so much. I have such a strong connection with nature I just can't explain it.

That's why It's so ironic I have a fashion blog - I hate portrait photography. It's just not my thing. That's why I've struggled to improve my outfit shots on the blog. Anywho, this is a typical outfit I may wear when doing photography. Super comfy with a big baggy top in case I need to crouch down or bend over, my plumber's crack or gut won't show.

{HFW Day 1 - Teaching Assistant}

2011-11-26T20:56:00.001-08:00

The leadership role that I've play since the start of this semester is a teacher. eeeeeek! I never in a million years thought I would be a teacher - or that I would enjoy it. I, however, absolutely love it! I'm surprised by how much of a challenge it is. When you have to know something well enough to explain it, it makes you really know it.

I'm not a full teacher, though. Just a teaching assistant. I run a couple lab sections of introductory biology. I need to look professional but I don't want to look too stuffy. I like to keep it in between fancy and casual so that the students are comfortable enough to approach me with questions.

Here is something similar to my usual attire

My trusty pink highlighter for grading ^.^

I love my according folder. The OCD freak in me loves organizing all my papers that I need to grade

Briiiiing on the dorkiness!

{Veil Vision}

2011-11-25T13:53:00.000-08:00

With Hijabi Fashion Week right around the corner, I thought I should show you a sneak peak of one of the sponsors. I introduce you to Veil Vision!

Veil Vision is a company that specializes in silk scarves. They asked for my review of their product so here is my honest opinion of the scarf I was sent.

This is the scarf they sent me. It is a 100% silk square scarf.

Pros:

Lightweight: This item is extremely lightweight! It's so lightweight that I thought they hadn't included the scarf in the package!

Saturated Color: The color is extremely vibrant! I haven't dry-cleaned it so I can't attest to it's durability after "washing". I would not recommend washing anything silk, hence why I mentioned dry-cleaning.

Solid Construction: It seems to be made very well. The edges are sewn nicely so it shouldn't unravel.

Cons:

Manufacturing: This scarf is made in china. If you're uncomfortable with possible sweat shop practices, this could be a huge downside. For me, it's only a slight downside. I realize it's almost impossible to avoid buying things made in China.

Neutrals

Size: It's not the largest square scarf I've seen. For some the lack of bulkiness would be great. I might prefer something with a little extra coverage. They say all the scarves vary in size so you may have a little more control over this.

Slipperiness: This goes without saying, silk scarves are slippery! To me it can get irritating but for anyone who has used a silk scarf, this point is obvious and unavoidable

I hope this review helps you if you were considering this company.
Make sure to check them out on Day 3 as well! I can't wait till HFW!

{The End is Near}

2011-11-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

I wore this outfit on my last day of teaching a wet lab for the semester. My students take their lab final today and it's bittersweet. It's going to be nice to have like 15 hours of my week back but I really like my students so I will miss them.

Excuse the stink face. Not really sure what was going on there.

{Skirt: Target}
{Top: Kohls}
{Scarf: local shop}

{Excuse Me}

2011-11-16T11:31:00.001-08:00

Please excuse the mess that has become of my blog. I will be switching from Photobucket to Flickr now that my pro account is expired, so until I get everything fixed, I apologize for the mess.

{PA}

2011-11-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

The other day I was looking at gmaps and I surprisingly realized that I live only 10 minutes from the Pennsylvania border! I have lived here 3 months and never knew I was so close! I usually only drive east and west, never north!

So as soon as I had this realization, I jumped in my car with my camera on a mission to cross the border. I was extremely pleased to find myself in rural Pennsylvania with winding roads full of plush orange trees! The smell of nature was absolutely intoxicating!

I won't take it personal if you ignore me to stare at the gorgeous trees around me.

{Cardi: J. Crew}
{Dress: Target}
{Scarf: c/o The Souq}
{Flats: Walmart}
{Bracelets: c/o The Souq, Walmart, H&M}

Isn't this sooo gorgeous? I stopped my car along the side of the road and whipped out my tripod and took my photos right along the road.

{Not Cold}

2011-11-12T20:52:00.001-08:00

I'm really adjusting well to the autumn weather. Even in the 50's I only need a cardigan. I'm pretty shocked my Floridian blood isn't freezing over. I've been craving cold weather for quite a while, though, so that could explain it.

Get prepared to see this cuff bracelet a lot over the next few months. I'm in love with it! I had been eyeing it for around 6 months at target but I couldn't justify spending almost $20. When I found it for $4 I grabbed it faster than the speed of light (since apparently now the speed of light may not be the glass ceiling).

{Cardi: H&M}
{Tee, Scarf: Walmart}
{Flats: Charlotte Russe}

{Cop}

2011-11-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

I went back to the park today. Two interesting things to note. Yes I'm wearing the same cardigan a few days apart. Yup. I do that.

Second, there was a cop in the parking lot who I'm 97% sure was watching me while I was doing this. I'd love to know what he was thinking seeing this random hijabi taking pictures in the cold in a very deserted park

{Maxi Skirt: F21}
{Tee: Boilermaker}
{Cardi: Target}
{Flats: Walmart}
{Rings: F21, Walmart}
{Hijab: c/o The Souq}

I'm still learning how close I need to be to the camera when I have infinite possibilities.
Noted: get closer than this

{Muddy}

2011-11-06T17:00:00.000-08:00

I finally found a decent park to take outfit shots in. There are all kinds of adorable little squirrels jumping about! There are also people playing tennis right next to me, probably thinking I'm a nut job…

Oh wait… I'm not?

{Top: F21}
{Cardi, Flats: Target}
{Blue Scarf: Gift from ValleyGurlFrmHell}
{Pink Scarf: Princessrockz.co.uk}
{Bracelets: H&M, Walmart, The Souq}

What am I doing you ask? The ground was so muddy! Can't you tell by my ruined glitter shoes.

{Multitasking}

2011-11-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

Here I am multitasking. I was super exhausted and wanted to get into my 'jamas but I was on the phone with my mum. I still needed to take my outfit shots so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.

{Dress: F21}
{Cardi: H&M}
{Flats: Charlotte Russe}
{Scarf: Gift}

{Let it Snow}

2011-10-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today it snowed! Granted, it melted as soon as it hit the ground but it was still very serene and pretty. I haven't seen snow in 4 years so I loved it!

As soon as the weather dipped below 40 degrees (Fahrenheit) a few days ago, I quickly realized that what I thought was a winter coat, was actually just a fall jacket.

I was trying to deny the fact that it's cold by wearing a bunch of neon colors. A fellow grad student appreciated it, even though it didn't actually do anything to change the weather

{Layering}

2011-10-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

It's starting to get chilly here. I have barely any warm clothes, so this fall and winter I will be relying on layering multiple items. This is probably more ideal anyway because once buildings start blasting their heat, I don't want to be stuck in something extremely warm.

{Sweater: Gift}
{Cardi: Target}
{Tee, Flats: Walmart}
{Scarf, Ring: H&M}