Allegro & Vivace

Election 2013 and its highly informed voters

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Fri, 10 May 2013 17:10:00 +0000

I am happy and excited for the elections and its not because its my first time voting. This is not about who I'm voting for and who I'm not. This is me being a proud citizen who has recently noted herself and everyone she knows get out of their slumbers and stand up for whatever they believe in. Yes, there are people who never bothered to vote before and not because they were underage. It is safe to say that people are bothering this time. Some of whom I know going all the way to Peshawar and even Faisalabad from Islamabad or taking chartered flights from abroad just to cast their votes.

This time is different, we are not people blinded by any sort of love for a party or candidate. As much as we finger point each other's belief we all know that we are all working on logic. And here, I would like to take the opportunity to declare how offended we young ones feel when we are declared immature or hero-worshipers when we claim to support new ideologies/new comers. As far as I know, most mainstream parties are taking a special interest in the young population. After all, they constitute for more than 50% of total voters. And most of us have made the effort of reading party manifestos.

What people don't get is that all of us, in our 20s and well, slightly under, were not exactly blessed with an ideal socio-eco-political condition. We have witnessed bomb blasts, dharnas, rallies that have influenced our exams, our farewell parties and the mere indulgence of enjoying some time out with friends. We have volunteered, gone to tribal areas, donated for causes from personal spending money, argued with parents to allow us to get out of the house for causes and assured them that if God wills, we will return in one piece. Call us "burger" again. I dare you, I double dare you. (See what I did there?)

So yeah, while the adults lived their young adult life in bell bottoms and liberal lifestyles and listened to Michael Jackson and the Beatles we have been face to face with extremism almost everyday of our lives. Cut us some slack? I thought I was very well versed and awesome because I am aware of all constituencies and their candidates and their respective pasts and reputations, It appears so is everyone else, my friends, my colleagues and everyone who knows how to work a hash tag over twitter. It is admirable right, normally at this time of the year, people discuss the latest Game of Thrones episode or some lawn exhibition but now its about "halkas" and "jalsas".

Verdict: listen up, we are very difficult to fool this time. Before declaring a random crowd "hullar baaz" think that they might actually know what's going on. I am NA 48. To date, we have 51 candidates standing. As me and my friends were discussing that day, there's this conundrum between the voting for party or candidate. Someone asked my opinion, I told them, by all means if your candidate is crappy, don't vote for that party. The point is choosing the BEST candidate of them all. If a corrupt candidate is chosen under a different party slogan then we are not exactly going for change right? Then again, we all have our perspectives.

And remember, they need us a lot more than we need them. And I'll tell you how. This is not just about the votes. This time, if anyone who comes to power end up eating their words, people are actually going to eat them in turn. I'm dead serious. Choose wisely, give a new person a chance and if an old familiar face suited you then by all means vote for them. The truth is, the parliament of 2013 shall be a mixed fruit salad, which is a good thing. Maybe what Pakistan needs is a coalition government and a strong opposition. This way everyone can be kept in check.

We are not looking for perfection because its not like WE'RE perfect. It is true that the leader of the nation is the reflection of its people. And lets just say, we've been imperfect ourselves lately. Bad times are no justification for looting, cheating and killing. We might assume we are pure but corruption has many levels. Think about it.

Almost a day to go now. Do not forget and do not forgive. No time for forgiveness now. Locate your ID cards. May the best man/woman win? You have one vote and to quote Albus Dumbledore "USE IT WELL". Happy voting!

Politically yours,
Sara Q.

P.S : If you get time, watch this viral video about the proper procedure of vote casting. Try to go early as possible. Its gonna be hot and pretty busy.

Where we are, where we're going and other places

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:29:00 +0000

I haven't written anything in a long time, but it's exam preparation time, so how can the creative juices not flow? After all, if you want to be very very very creative, make a man sit down, hand him a book (the boring kind, like "Company Law") and tell him he has to give an exam on the subject in 20 days. It'll be as if he has hurricane Sandy inside his skull! See what I did there? eh? eh? Ok fine, maybe I'm not as funny as I think I am. I'll chalk it up the sleep deprivation. So what's this post about? I have no clue. None whatsoever. Zero.

So I'll just write about whatever I please.

For starters, Malala. Though she isn't in the news as much as before, she's still dripping off the tongues of our newscasters now and then. I'll be honest, I heard about her only after she got shot. My only thoughts on the matter are, damn, the people that took down a superpower, are afraid of a little girl. I even tweeted about it. See? I am a concerned citizen. I tweeted about it. The girl from Swat was the only thing people talked about for quite a while, non-stop twenty four seven. Except for that time when she was reduced to being just text on a scrolling red band because OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! SAIF AND KATRINA GOT MARRIED AAAAHHHHH!!!! Boy do we have our priorities straight.

The next thing to follow after that was, the American presidential election. My opinion on the matter, none. So let's move on.

Then of course, there is exams themselves. That's what on my mind. Among a few other things. The very nature of exams to be exact. Why do we even have them anymore? I'm not saying that we don't need exams, that we should abolish them, though that's what we've been hoping and praying for since we were little kids. What I'm wondering is the one question that always haunts us, the one that is never easy to answer, that is, why? Why do even have exams? What purpose do they serve?

In my opinion, and that's just what it is, simply opinion, exams are not what they used to be. From the perspective of the examiner, they're no longer a means of measuring the capability of the examinees, assuming exams were actually ever capable of accomplishing that. Exams are a means to filter out university applicants. And further on, they are a way of controlling supply of labor into the job market. A means of creating artificial shortage of supply to keep existing price of labor right. From the perspective of the examinees, it's no longer about learning or gaining knowledge. It's all about reading the mind of the examiner, and figuring out the "trick" of passing an exam.

It could be that I'm totally wrong about all this, like I said, It's all just opinion.

But the larger question that keeps me wondering is, because I'd rather wonder than actually study, what if the whole education system is outdated? The world has moved on. That much is clear. We're at a time and place where innovation and discovery is happening at a faster pace than ever before in human history. The way content has distributed has changed. Our understanding of how a person learns has greatly improved. Technology itself, though not available to all, has become much more accessible. But all around the world, the education systems are almost the same. Not only that, they're also similar to their past selves.

How can something like online video change how kids are taught in the classroom? How can connectivity allow students to coordinate or help accessibility to education to areas not so well off? How can our knowledge of a child's cognitive and social development allow us to rethink our curriculum? And in some way, change is creeping up on us. Just have a look at the Khan Academy. Sooner or later, the education system will catch up with the developments going on all around us. I'm curious to know how. I'd like to know what the classroom of tomorrow looks like. All the same, I've had enough of studies for a while, so just a peek will suffice.

The most interesting thing is, that thanks to all these different mediums of learning that are now available to us, people are able to satisfy their curiosity. You can go online via your laptop or smartphone and learn whatever the hell you want. And more interesting than that, people are actually going ahead and doing it. The same lessons that bored you to sleep in class, are now available in a completely new format and everyone loves it. Which means that in part, if not completely, the problem was not with the student or the teacher, but probably with the medium. I'm not placing blame on anyone, we didn't have youtube or wikipedia back then, but now we do and the sooner we leverage this and other technology the better. Because as I learned after watching videos of maths, history and physics, learning is fun.

But like I said, it's all opinion, nothing more. I could really go on about this topic, but I won't. It's an interesting time we live in. The availability of information means that if we want to learn something, the only barrier is us not getting up and learning it.

With that said I still feel that if you want to read a book, then nothing but actual paper bound in hard cover will do. I speak of non-study books of course. That reminds me, I haven't read a book in ages. Seriously. I think it's been three or four years, I can't recall. I read the Potter book and, I'm sure one or two other things. Weird. I used to be an avid reader. Anyway, If after my long (understatement) hiatus we still have people willing to comment, I'd like love a book recommendation.

Moving, while technology allows us to learn in new ways, it also allows us to express in new ways. Take this very blog as an example. It is the 90's equivalent of printing your own magazine. Except that would cost you. Yet now you are free to express. In many words, in just 140 characters, with pictures, good god the pictures (I'm looking at you amateur "photographers"), with video and with music. The barriers to entry are being lowered to a person wanting to express themselves. Which means now "I can't afford X or Y" is not as valid an excuse as it used to be. Want to write? Start a blog. Graphic designing? GIMP is free, so are online tutorials. Want to make music? Well, you'll have to spend some cash on that BUT you can get started for free with Audiotool. The disadvantage of lowered barriers of entry? The same as the advantage. Everyone who wants to do something will, even if they are very very very bad at it.

It is now more possible for people to learn and do what they want and the evidence of this is around you. Take music for example. How many albums or singles used to come out every year in the 90's? Compare that with today. There's a new song practically everyday. And why? Well, again, technology. Back then recording equipment, synthesizers and a mixing board would cost you your house. Now, for under five hundred dollars, you have a studio in you house. With the right laptop and software. And this allows me to shamelessly transition to pasting some tracks that I made in my own spare time. And before you comment, yes, I'm aware that they are a little repetitive. Cut me some slack, I am but a student, working my way up the ranks:
Stuff I made so far by TalhaAzim

And with that done, I'm signing out.

See you next post, which I'm hoping won't be too far off.
Talha A. B.

Getting pawned.....umm i meant "lawned"

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 11:44:00 +0000

I wrote a status update a few days ago, about how there were more lawn designers than lawn wearers. And say you are at a party NOT wearing one of these lawns you might as well be mowing the lawn outside. A few years ago there was a charm right, having 2 or 3 and the rest is the usual stuff you get from the pathans everywhere and pair it with white. Then there were one or two embroidered suits that were singled out as evening or party wear. And now, lo and behold, it be a battlefield yo. I have witnessed aunties lashing at each other for the last piece left and fighting over stupid magazines that tell you how you are NOT supposed to wear lawn (read strapless, towel style).

The thing is, the Pakistani woman is a busy woman. I have no freaking idea when she got labelled as the woman who wears extremely elaborated stuff in the middle of very awful summers. Summers so awful that the monsoon times mean you can't breathe properly and you feel like ripping off any fabric that is the slightest bit uncomfortable. So yeah, smart move selling stuff off with 3 million extras and extensions in March because we being a naive nation forget too easy. We forget what any past government did to us, we forget how bitter these winters were thanks to no Sui gas and thus we have forgotten our hot sticky summers. Last weekend I went to this lawn exhibition of a very well known designer and I was apalled. You touch the fabric and think, wow jute might be nicer. One machine wash and the fabric will crimp up and all the little stars will go to Halifax. And the price quote was the highest of all, nearing 6000! For lawn. The fabric that we wear happily for one season, less than happily another season, as something just for the home or maybe as nightclothes and towards the end give it away to our maasi. Oh yes, I have spotted many a maasi wearing designer lawn. It fills my little heart with joy and pride, I mean if this is not "taraqqi" what is?

To top it all, we are looking at one hell of a tough Ramzan. Seriously, end of July, tongues hanging out, hypoglycaemic headaches and faces devoid of any beauty whatsoever. Fine fine, maybe aftaar parties give us a chance to show off a bit but even they have fallen in number. Another thing that is a laugh is that all designer suits come with their little picture that teaches you how to sew the thing so no more brain work yo. So there we have it, a conveyor belt that produces identical dolls. The same stitching, the same prints, borders, chiffon sleeves, embrodered motifs. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

The thing is, quality matters. I was actually exploring the border of a fabric and the guy goes, yes madam this is original, designer name and all. And i'm all, no, who printed this? As in which garment mill/factory prints this stuff. The design is just a picture. The fabric is the real thing. So yes ladies, know your mills I guess. I stick to the old fashioned ones and no matter how much I open my heart I cannot stand looking like a dulhan in the middle of a market or the office. Also, I don't appreciate how many of these lawn owners employ the Indienne women. I shall quote the mother "Apni larkiyon ko rakhein na, woh bhooki mar rahi hain". And yes, the prices mean it is virtually inaccessible to most.

No, I take that back. It can get accessible. HEar me out, this guy at a very well known clothes shop in F-10 declared that they were getting 'copies" of designer prints and no they are no cheating, they were all, "Baji, select kar lein, next week photocopy ajayegee woh hhi coloured. Kaisa?". And i'm like, sheesh. This is an extreme seriously. It goes on to say that since people will get a "do number" copy just to be part of the brigade. Qayamat is near I swear. Maybe we do deserve Zardari. Look at our frigging preferences and priorities now.

I might have said it before, that we are a bi-polar nation. Either we'll snatch it all or be totally hungry. When a girl at a uni sees her peers dressed to the nines in designer lawn she will go eat her mom's brains out and demand for a 4000 rupee suit. When she gets it, it'll never be enough because the girls can have one for every day of the week. We are that unfortunate nation who loses the "special" in every ornament. So now, when we go out we actually recognise prints, we shall judge a person by the amount of money they spent on clothes. We have made something like lawn, comfy, easy, a way of life, open to designing at will into something so complicated yet commonplace. And like an epidemic we are all part of this; you, me, your mothers/sisters/cousins. Everyone. This is us venting frustrations. No better way to do so than vanity right?

Summerly yours,
Sara Q.

P.S : So, umm any new exhibitions coming up? Just asking :P

"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on"......NOT?

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 11:47:00 +0000

I like Lady Gaga. Other than her catchy songs I've always thought Gaga was is an original. You know why, because she prefers to be interesting rather than typically pretty. Its like, she's not conveniently different but inconveniently different. Many other stars tried to follow and be outrageous, like Kesha, Rihanna? Epic fail I'd say. The only thing that comes through my vocal cords is the four letter word used to describe ladies with provocative extra curricular activities. Yeah, that's the closest I get to swearing. I wonder if PTA banned that too.

But this is not about divas and their antics. This is about finding the fine line between being who you are and trying to be who you're not. This newfound quest of being "different". The reason Gaga gets away with her shenanigans is that's who she always was, from day one. Other regular ladies tried too hard to bring something to the exterior that didn't match the interior at all, thus they appear a bit "desperate". And no, not everyone can tell the difference. Also, those who can't wouldn't know what the hell I'm actually talking about.

Back in the day when we were young and without worry life was so simple wasn't it? As in, either you had or or you didn't and everyone lived with such facts. I remember how in A' levels, a welcome or farewell party was all special since everyone was excited to see everyone else all dolled up and suited up, respectively. Save for some, regular school days came with this rough and tough look. Those were the looks we ended up crushing on.

So what's up these days? Mass production? Its like this, the worse the country's situation gets the more extravagant we get with our shopping and choices. To rid self of depression in a time of recession? Vanity in a time of insanity? Every winter it becomes harder to just waltz in the general store with this hoodie inherited from the brother. What was once a sign of warmth, carefree-ness and comfort is now apparently some feminine fashion disaster. Gimme a break.

The sights and sounds around a general marketplace bustling with people, like say Jinnah Super has changed. No more variety of individuals. Its weird, you actually admire someone from afar, girl or guy both but then people like me wonder how much of what you saw was a lie. If a person can make that much effort in hiding all of their flaws what does that say about them? What of those sun kissed faces, unkempt flowing locks, casual careless demure replaced by walking talking Kens and Barbies. Perfect getting boring no? Call me weird but I believe in the slightest of flaws in a person, it kind of makes you see how unflawed the rest of them is. And when I say appearance i mean anything and everything that contributes to an overall outlook. The skin (caked so much that you might be needing a drill), the hair colour, the car, the clothes, the lifestyle, the gadgets, the education, the fake accent, the lavish eating, the stories of non-existent special connections. Everyone is fat these days. And this is not body fat, this is what everyone looks like when they're coated with all that materialistic sheen, real or fake. An epidemic, just like dengue?

When the guy sang "you got designer shades just to hide your face" it brings an anecdote to mind. My brother told me how once a group of guys in school followed two girls who came in for admission, all the way to the admin office (very long walk :P) and then came the about turn. Why? Because the girls took off them gigantic shades and the boys weren't actually thrilled. Frankly, that's a bit mean. Stereotyping at its height. It goes on to show how people can like and unlike a whole person like a status update. Where be the simplicity, the sudden rush of feeling, the infatuation, feelings that run skin deep? What is it now, a checklist? Loyalties anyone?

Weirdly, the "checklist" works differently for both sexes now. Most of the female population(take note guys) still goes for the old-fashioned/classy roughed up look rather than glistening hair products. *Points to self*. (And no, that still doesn't give you license to NOT shave orcomb hair for the rest of your days). However, even if you're an original, you're only partially qualified. The female mind is stronger in resisting attraction which is why they'd prefer a'package' deal any day. Like my brother once said :"Fine, I admit guys can never be as loyal as girls but girls are crazy for 'dough'".

Its scary right? How do you filter them out? What's real anymore anyway? Believe it or not, humans are weak. They see what they like, they like what they see. End of story. Its just sad that the nation has become even worse about passing judgements. And well we're all part of this. I know the difference. If I barge in a store looking significantly hot with a Fendi hanging on my elbow I am "madam" and if its a quick run, my hair's toussled and messy and I have a shawl wrapped around like an "amma jee" I'm treated like a homeless person until I produce the green or blue bill to get some attention. Did I mention I always end up meeting a gazillion people when adorned by the latter look and get major judgement stares?

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder anymore. What is it then, our insecurities speaking?Are we THAT bipolar or is it just the result of these trying times we're going through, like there's no other entertainment anymore. There IS no obsession like self obsession right? Or maybe, you think, its not a bad thing to happen at all. If looking or appearing good has been made so easy then why not right? That's what my sis said when I showed her this. She said, so what if its easy and accessible for everyone to look nice these days, if someone thinks they look good with makeup on 24/7 its not actually some sue-able offense. I know she's right but I also know that whatever this is is getting way out of control.

The quest of being different made all of us look the same no? And like a drug we can't get enough of it. I wish that time would come back, when judgement was passed after you actually knew the person, when taking people seriously was not based on how and what they looked like, when people meant what they said and said what they meant, when words were not just words but actions waiting to happen. I wish I was born in the 60s (I say that a lot fyi). Music was good, food was pure, people were transparent and kind of hip too. Oh well.

Until next time, originally yours,
Sara Q.

P.S: I HATE winters.

The Optimist Taking a Break From Optimism

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 11:20:00 +0000

The following was my facebook status update yesterday. It got a lot of attention because well it was sorta unlike me, the dark emotion not the intellectual piece of writing fyi. The thing is, creativity comes when it does and the context is not of our own choosing so what the heck. Talha pointed out that the status update could actually be "mini post" in itself.

Note: It wasn't this long originally. I added stuff to it. Its hardly 300 words. This is weird for me because its so tiny. Now I'm just rambling to make it bigger :P

When we're young we are told to do anything that makes us happy, not talk to strangers, dream, have a wild imagination, be spontaneous, ask questions to learn more. We think our parents will always be there to take care of us, that love is unconditional, every grownup who smiles at us is awesome. Life is colour, life is sunlight. There is still the good guy/bad guy distinction thanks to cartoons, we hate homework, and studies. Whatever happened yesterday was history. The only thing that mattered was today.

And then we grow up. We realise we can't do everything that makes us happy because there's a society to answer to, we are told to stop dreaming and be realistic, that our imagination will be the death and starvation of us someday, we question our parents' mortality and their depleting healths (I know that's grammatically wrong but pluralising gives a better effect) , we wish we had studied more, or had worked harder. We are told to get out of our individual "bubbles" and face reality. We will eat our own words and extinguish our internal fires with our own hands. The colours and light we thrived upon seem to make us squint. We'll realise even love has conditions, people are not what they seem and smiling is no measure of character.

We switch spontaneity with round the clock planning, we'll realise some questions will remain unanswered forever and some answers make us learn more than we bargained for. We realise how mere strangers have the ability to transform our lives. We stop being thankful for today. All we have are the regrets of yesterday. The only thing that remains is the good/bad guy distinction, with a slight upgrade. We realise that more than any bad guy or any enemy, it is our own self that has the ability to finish us off without assistance. We will be our own worst enemy yet forced to be everyone's friend.

Hoping she comes back to her normal crazy self soon,
Sara (burgundy) Q.

P.S : Why the hell is our cricket team wasting time with Bangladesh? Just got the winning six alert. Afterthought.

Just a number...

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 13:57:00 +0000

Image by brian.ch via Flickr

I really can't remember how many men I've killed. In Metal Gear Solid I've slit the throats of Spetsnaz spooks. In Call of Duty I've gunned down Arabs and blown American soldiers to bits. In Tenchu I've beheaded many Samurai warriors and in Grand Theft Auto I've indiscriminately killed everyone from the police officer to the ordinary citizen in the most sadistic of ways. The number of ways I have killed is almost as innumerable as my victims. I've used piano wire to choke them, a high powered sniper rifle to reduce their heads to mince meat, pushed them off cliffs, thrown venomous snakes at them, fed them poisoned food, suffocated them with a plastic bag over their head, perforated them with automatic rifles, used an old fashioned sword to mutilate them and many many more. And you know what? It was fun. It was exhilarating. It was epic.

You're the same. You love it too. Killing is.... exciting, for the lack of a stronger word. In every movie we all move to the edge of our seat as the protagonist is about to deal the final blow. The doves fly, everything slows down, the music swells, the hero pulls the trigger and down goes the bad guy. The clouds part, the sun shines down. The evil one lies in a pool of blood and is forgotten after one final shot of his corpse. Everyone celebrates the death of a man. In that moment, that final moment, killing is glorious. It is proof that as civilised as we are, within each of us still beats the heart of a barbarian.

There is nothing glorious about killing.

It doesn't matter how many video games we play or how many films we watch. Nothing can soften the full blow of watching the real thing. These days, that is not a scarce sight. It seems the road to hell begins in Pakistan. This week, we all saw an unarmed man get killed in cold blood by none other than the guardians of the people. And I don't know about you, but I'm still trying to figure out what just happened. I'm still lost in that "what the f***?" moment. I can't process it. How can someone just do that? End a life, for no other reason than to end a life? By what process does a mans mind just decide to pull the trigger, or swing the blade and end someone? How is it possible for someone to suppress all that is human and kill in cold blood?

Sometimes I hate the empathy that I possess. It's annoying to see everyone else's point of view. Seeing that video, that too inadvertently, I can't help but picture myself in that same situation. I can't help but see myself there, bleeding away, screaming for help and watching in horror as no one does a thing to help, knowing that the only thing a "concerned" citizen is doing is recording my last moments to spread "awareness". I can't help but wonder what that mans last thoughts were. Did he think of his loved ones? What did he want to say to them? What did he think of all the spectators to his demise? Did he feel hate for them? Did he have regrets? What did he ask God in that moment? What did he feel for the one that pulled the trigger? I can't help but have all that run amok in my brain and the sheer horror of that moment, being the victim of an injustice, lying in a city of eight million with not one doing anything to help is enough to paralyze me.

So did he deserve to die? Does anyone deserve to die? Does anyone deserve what happened to that man? And who gets to decide when a life must be extinguished? Who is the one who deserves to carry out the deed? Knowing what I know so far, the only thing I can say is that what happened was wrong. There is no way to justify the killing of an unarmed man, without trial, without just cause. Anyone who says otherwise, is wrong. What he was, what he may have done, whether he was thief and murderer, he did not deserve the fate dealt out to him. If people have to be shot because they were probably evil, because they had probably committed the crime, then you'll have to line up everyone in the country and put a bullet in them. The actions taken by the ranger on that day are no different than any terrorist.

What about the other side of the story? There's always another side. If we assume that the ranger was a reasonable man then what can drive a reasonable man to do such a thing? Well, the nature of his job always puts him at risk. He is always there in the places we don't dare to go, dealing with people we don't want to meet and experiencing moments we don't ever want to be in. Maybe after watching citizens lose their lives over something as little as a cellphone, after watching his comrades die trying to protect an ungrateful society, something in him snapped. Maybe after all the senseless slaughter he decided that the only way to fix things was disproportionate punishment, to set an example to serve as a deterrent to others. Don't deny the fact that somewhere deep down you feel the same, that the best way to fix the problem is with a bullet. But that will fix nothing.

I don't condone what the ranger did. I'm surprised some do.

I remember back in A-Levels a friend showed the whole class a video of a man being beheaded. Our teacher had to rush to the washroom as he could not hold down his lunch. Nothing can prepare you for the real thing. It's easy to watch all the bloodshed in movies and video games because we can reassure ourself, it's fake. But that video, knowing that what we were watching was a real human being, with family, with hopes, with memories, with dreams and emotions, that it was all real, something changed in us. It was like a punch to the gut and pain would not just go away. It was the same thing with the video of the incident in Karachi. So why does everyone feel the need to distribute it? What is it that you wish to obtain from the footage of a man dying? And don't tell me it's for "awareness." When did simply knowing an innocent man died stop being enough to stir emotion? What joy do we derive from watching and spreading the death of a man? Am I the only one who feels that this is disrespectful? Who is being helped by the proliferation of the footage?

Spreading a video doesn't make you a patriot, tweeting doesn't make you a part of a revolution, changing your profile picture doesn't spread awareness and liking some page doesn't make you a better Muslim. For that matter even blogging is meaningless. People need to wake up and realize that these meaningless things just mean they are too lazy to solve the problems that we face today. They are silly games, made to make us feel better. Here's one last question, when our descendants ask us what we did to make things better, what do you think they'll feel when we tell them "well beta, I updated my facebook status"?

I for one hate preaching, I hoped to write a different post this time around but our country never fails to surprise.

Talha A. B.

Sweet idle brain o’ mine

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Tue, 31 May 2011 12:56:00 +0000

There goes a saying that “Everything is bigger in Texas”. Well maybe it’s not a saying but I saw it on a T-shirt in a Hillary Duff video many years ago. Don’t judge me, I was 15 OK! I say, forget Texas. In exams, everything is bigger, brighter, more colourful, entertaining and exciting than any other time of the year. The interesting thing is that it’s a concept everyone can relate to. Everyone ranging from age groups 7 to 25 years (or more if you think you haven’t had enough yet or due to the current insane amount of extended studies we all are compelled to do anyway) goes through this phase.

It is times like these that the human mind amazes me. I mean, why and how can it be that something we don’t give a crap about normally will become the center of our lives. I remember when I was studying last year, the nights were long and hot. All I had was the window displaying darkness. It was then that I started noticing this vehicle coming up to the office up front around three in the morning, VERY often during the week. Before I knew it the books were chucked away and I saw myself, binoculars in hand, lights off, trying to find the cause of such late night visits. My imagination went wild; drugs, smuggling, chucking away dead bodies, burglary, human trafficking, country wide socio-political conspiracy, you name it, I had already thought of it. Of course when I revealed my midnight adventures on the breakfast table they were welcomed with appalled faces, the mother adding “Haye Allah, what will people think of a girl hanging on the window with binoculars at 3 in the morning!” Well, my answer was, what would people be doing looking out of THEIR windows towards the girl’s window at 3 in the morning? No, why would they be awake anyway? (*Goes into investigatory mode. Again*) I mean, here I am playing responsible neighbourhood watch-type citizen and nobody cares! I was glad that at least THIS reaction was a bit toned down than when I confessed a possible UFO sighting (Again, do NOT judge me, I was around 10 when that happened :P). So yeah, when I say imagination gone wild, I’m so not kidding.

It is this time of the year, or month, or 6 months or semester that out neural configurations change a bit. I don’t know about you but I tend to get edgy, sensitive, emotional, totally creative and much to my bad luck hungry! Somehow the neighbours' grandkids start looking cuter, so much so that you just want to watch them take swings and live their problem-less life. Of course I snap out of that soon enough since at least I’m done with all THAT, you know school, O/A level. That kid still has to go through that. Ha! SCORE! Take that extremely cute kid with no worries! Then there is the house at 7 o’ clock. Like clockwork the girl who lives there will come to this swing set and keep swinging till sunset. She doesn’t follow the clock, but the sun. And once again, books forgotten I concoct up her life history, hopes and dreams. Also, the earlier mentioned grandkid’s grandma and ma have this whole Star Plus style thing going on. I can feel the vibes and the characteristic “gongs” at a bearing of 45 degrees north, about 50 feet away.

Speaking of Star Plus I develop an interest there too. Normally there is total remote snatching going on along with constantly cursing the poor characters and camera angles and blackmailing the mother but come exam season I find myself asking the mother how “Akshara” (HIGHLY annoying) is doing. Also, there will always be a notebook nearby, literary epiphanies come when the mind is too full of numbers, poetry evolves when the mind is blocked with too much information, outrageous status updates (yes, more outrageous than usual) will keep flitting when the self gets lonely and misses its constant ‘networking’ and much to everyone’s horror, waiiiiit for it…..singing! Not to mention sartorial ideas even, so much so that one is compelled to sketch some scrawny drawings. Yes, that is a big deal. Those who know me a bit know I usually wish for the miracle of going to bed one night, getting up the next morning and voila, all clothes, matched, designed, stitched lying somewhere in “the elves and the shoemaker” style.

The worst part is there is always some wedding, huge party or Eid round the corner that you have to miss more or less. Not that it’s too bad, I mean I look like hell anyway but yeah total self-pity moment. BUT the family always sends my share in plastic ice cream boxes so the food pity is covered I guess.

These are just a few examples. I guess everyone has a crazy exam creativity niche. My sister goes artistic and starts making stuff out of the kind of stuff people would throw away (to great effect I must add). My brother says his mind opens up for strategy video games and he gets better at them. Everyone I know will have some distractive exam life in store for them. Talha A. B. here coded a whole template (for the blog! Coming soon :D). Yes, coding a template, that’s a big deal. Not child’s play so children, don’t play. Note to Talha: Good work, now STUDY!

Anyway, here be that time again. Already here for some and for some (cough) not too far off. So yes, the time of distraction (that can lead to destruction) is here. Let’s hope we all consider it only an element that keeps us sane and it doesn’t prevail the mere reason it originated from. Let this be the time to reflect on the little “fun” things we take for granted. Like staring at the huge mango tree the 7 o’clock guys had WHICH they were stupid enough to cut down. Who DOES that to a mango tree? That’s fruity blasphemy! The only tree in the vicinity now is the “jaamun” (black currants) tree. I don’t even like jaamun. I hardly like “gulaab jamun” (come to think of, that’s sweetmeat blasphemy. Fine, I’m “selective” about them, stop judging my sweet tooth now :P).

With that highly unnecessary last detail I bid you all the very necessary good lucks and break a legs for upcoming and ongoing exams. Study hard, stay sane and remember the most important rule, one chip at a time :D

Sara (distracted) Q

P.S: At this point I feel awfully relieved that the good looking grand kid is 24 months and not 24 years. Just saying. Again, do NOT judge me!

Of anomalies, ecology, paradigms and poop

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Mon, 23 May 2011 09:18:00 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

Poop. It is something we all make. Why? Because we must so that we may allow our bodies to carry on with the rape of mother nature. Yes, I said poop. Get over it.

Confusing. That’s the only way I can express it. It’s just so damn confusing. I look at all the other species on the planet. They live in such perfect harmony. As Edward Elric would say, “All is one, one is all”. Everything is part of this circle. Living and dying. In dying, making way for the newly born. A perfect, finely tuned, never ending circle. As Mufasa told us in our childhood, “the circle of life.” If you don’t know who Edward Elric is, watch more anime. If you don’t know who Mufasa is, did you even have a childhood?

So why confusing? Confusing because, In this perfect circle, there is one big anomaly. Humanity. The best killer that this planet has produced, oddly sticks out. An anomaly in an otherwise perfectly balanced equation. Our blood lust is insatiable. We’ll kill each other, we’ll kill life that surrounds us and if we take a step back from all the killing for a moment to lift ourselves high enough to see the big picture, a larger fragment of the grand design, we’ll realize that there is one more victim of our crimes. One more life that we are all slowly ending.

The big picture? Well, to simplify, lets try a paradigm shift. I love doing that, we should do that more often. Such a beautiful concept isn’t it? If you can’t play the game, just change all the rules. Come to think of it, it’s dangerous concept too. So lets change some rules. Lets redefine how we see our planet. Lets assume that it is just an organism existing in a wider ecosystem. The atmosphere, the deep blue oceans, the rolling plains, the hauntingly beautiful deserts, the mysterious forests and the veiled mountains are all mere organs of this organism. All the living beings within this organism are merely cells, that ensure that the organs function as they are supposed to.

Get the picture? Well, lets keep going then. The circle of life. All is one, one is all. Everything has a defined role. They will consume that which is defined for them, taking no more than is necessary and in turn be consumed by another. No exceptions. It doesn’t matter whether you are a miniscule insect or a mighty predator. You will serve your time. You will fulfill your ordained purpose. You will consume that which is allowed to you. Then, having done it all, you will pass on, in the end being only nutrition for the body. For the new organisms, for the new cells to consume.

The anomaly? Well, all the cells are in perfect in harmony. If we leave this system of cells and organs unregulated, it will carry on forever. That is, until you factor in just one last cell. Mankind. This cell is different from all others in the body. It has no predator. It will kill almost anything, for reasons other than self preservation. It continually evolves, always changing, always adapting. Unlike all others that dare not go beyond the boundaries set for them, mankind will find a way to survive even the harshest of conditions. It has no natural evolutionary advantage over any cell in the body. No claws, no sharp teeth, no strength. All it possesses is a neo-cortex and opposable thumbs. One final thing, Its hunger knows no bounds. It will consume anything and everything, going beyond its own needs regardless of whether other cells or even if its own kin starve. Death of another, even extinction, matters not.

Does it make sense? The behavior of this one cell is irrational. Unlike the other cells, it is aware of the body. It knows the bigger picture. It even knows the consequences of its own actions. Yet still, its behavior remains outside the boundaries of what is rational. The brightest minds are employed, not to save humanity but to destroy it. Their job is to come up with newer more efficient and creative ways to kill itself and everything around it. Millions of its kind are starving, on the verge of death and yet knowing this the others hoard resources for themselves, far beyond that which they require. As a species, humanity is suicidal.

How does humanity fit in this picture? Well, lets think on it. What is the one thing inside any living organism that does nothing except consume its hosts’ resources, destroy everything around it and reproduce so that its offspring may carry on doing the same? There is one organism that matches the description. Agent Smith tells us, it's a “virus”. If you don’t know who Agent Smith is, where have you been for the past ten years?

What now? Do we carry on? Do we change our ways? We will have to ultimately. The sooner we do, the better chance we have at a brighter future. Like any living being, our planet can only sustain the wounds we inflict for so long. Maybe it’s for the best we haven’t discovered any other inhabitable planet yet. In our current state, we’d only add another victim to our list of murders.

Talha A. B.

Country for sale! Buy now while stocks last!

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Tue, 10 May 2011 11:42:00 +0000

Image via WikipediaIn a post not too long ago I may have complained that the general price level in our fair country is getting a bit too high. In this one however, I will tell the other side of the story. After all, I'm not one to manufact propaganda and propagate the news of our country's dismal state. There are in fact many things that are quite cheap and getting even cheaper by the minute. The credit goes to, well, we'll leave that part for later. For now, lets get into all the bargains you can grab before the sale season ends.

I was always told that human life is priceless. You can't measure it. It's impossible to value it terms of anything else that God may have created. Gold, silver, diamonds and even oil. Well, that last item has some complication attached to it. Imagine that. Such a high price for this particular item that you can't even measure it. Now however, thanks to capitalism (or is it imperialism? I keep getting confused) the prices for this once expensive commodity are now greatly reduced! But you can only avail this offer in Pakistan. Just ask American tourist Raymond Davis (or is it assassin? Again, I keep getting confused) who bought two Pakistani lives for 1.4 million dollars. Thats just USD 700,000 a piece! And who knows, if you buy in bulk you'll surely get a big discount. Just Imagine, you could be the owner of your very own genocide! In fact, get creative enough and you can name it a "Pakistani" holocaust!

To top it off, America is giving us Islamiat lessons for free. How nice of them to give us that little refresher course on blood money. Wow America, I have no words to express the overflowing sentiments I feel right now. I do however have a finger that can get a minute fraction of the point across. Guess which one?

It doesn't end there. The Pakistan Tourism Development Corporation has gone to great lengths to make our beautiful country more accessible to foreigners. Why just now they started their stealth helicopter program. Thats right, If you own a stealth helicopter then you can just fly right in! No visa, no passport necessary. Hell, we'll even toss in a free Arab. If you're armed then you'll love to visit the town of Abottabad for target practice. By the way, Abottabad is not a suburb of Islamabad. It's a city itself. Way up in the mountains.

It's not just Pakistan that is making itself more accessible to foreign countries. You may all remember the Iraqi "Everyone with a false rumor gets in free" promotion. That had dramatic effects on the price of oil. Consider this, the American forces had themselves a party there, according to the Iraqi Body Count project they won the lottery, 150,726 Iraq's killed. There's no way we can compete with that. Damn you oil rich countries. Now, assuming an average of 1.9 million barrels of oil were pumped out from Iraq from 2003 to 2010 and that the average human body has 4 litres of blood the price of oil comes out 0.000124 litres of Iraqi blood per barrel! Now thats an amazing offer you just can't beat. I don't know why Americans complain about the high cost of oil, all you have to do is deposit one dead Iraqi at the nearest gas station and you walk away with 32,207 barrels of oil!

Coming back to Pakistan, people may not know this but we also have another great service. We'll stock your prisons for you! Just ask our satisfied customer, the administration of Gitmo. Before they outsourced their prisoner acquisition function to us, their prison was a desolate place. No prisoners. There were fears of takeovers, mergers and redundancies. Then, we stepped in. With competitive rates as low as a few hundred dollars for one Pakistani, we saved their prison and now it is constantly stocked, always a fresh supply of inmates ready for "enhanced interrogation". That is just one success story, contact us now to see how outsourcing to us can enhance your prison! Whats more, we'll even handle the shipping charges. Contact us at info@buyacitizen.gov.pk.

So who does all the credit go to? Well, to understand that, you've got to realize that Pakistan is a business. It's the Islamic Republic of Pakistan Limited. Once you see it that way you realize that Pakistan Ltd. is, always has been and always will be a cash cow. The owners of this company, the ruling party and the army take every possible step to ensure that it remains a profitable entity. However, no organisation can achieve its objectives without its faithful employees. It is only due to our citizens perserverance to not do anything while things go from bad to worse that we have reached the position where we are today. It is only because of us, who keep electing the same people to power over and over again. So enjoy everyone, you earned it.

Talha A. B.

The Way I Are

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Fri, 06 May 2011 10:59:00 +0000

Image via WikipediaOk first of all, I think a lot of my post titles have been based on song titles or well parts of songs. Same goes with this one. I kinda like it actually. Anyway, I was going to write something about French people, based on this movie I happened to watch recently (“Ameliè”, good movie, awesome music) but somehow this popped up.

Have you ever felt that the most difficult thing to talk about in this world is......YOU and even worse, what’s going on inside of you (spare us indigestion details though :P). And that rules out vanity (ahem!). So think for a mere two minutes, how many people know you for the REAL you. How much of YOU do you put out there, for all to see, experience and even criticise. It’s weird how there are two sides to every person but they will normally only show one side. Funnily, that’s on choice. Whatever we feel is more acceptable we kind of adopt. So what’s acceptable? Who defines acceptable anyway?

Well the answer to the million dollar question is US. WE define our acceptable. It’s like this; all humans have in them ALL traits, some of them surface more often while others just hover in the background. Some just stick to the walls and might NEVER come up at all. (Just like Davy Jones’s crew in “Pirates of the Caribbean” that just became part of the ship as part of their immortal enslavement). Actually that’s what it is, enslavement. We blame the world for making us who we are or not letting us be who we want to be but the truth is, its all crap. Excuses. We need ’em. ALL THE TIME! Honestly me, you, us, we have total ability, capability and desire to go all out on a lot of stuff and maybe mellow out once in a while. What’s wrong in doing that? Why is the class clown not allowed to have a quiet day? Why can’t the quiet girl be outrageous once in a while? What’s the deal with all this stereotyping? Who says you have to behave the same way your whole life? Evolution where art thou?

Ok let me illustrate using a personal example. Some years ago, my parents went on Haj (Pilgrimage), leaving me and my younger 2 siblings with our then alive grandmother. I wasn’t really old enough to go into household micromanagement but being the eldest some worries came naturally. It was one of those days when I felt stressed and missed my folks like hell that I picked up a pen and paper and concocted a poem in less than 15 minutes. That poem was titled “loneliness”. Those who know me well know that I’ve always had a knack of sharing my creations so I took it to school the next day. BIG mistake. The whole class was spellbound, the friends were outraged and the teacher just stared. Why? Because they didn’t ‘expect’ something like THAT to come out of ME. The friends were offended at the feeling behind it though I explained it was just a spur of the moment thing and NO it did not imply that I was alone and friendless and no one loved me. Whatever the case, the general population viewed me like you view a psyche case so I tore up the poem and declared it a mistake.

Reason behind the reaction? Sara Qadeer, ENTP (“Extroverted. Intuitive. Thinking. Perceiving”; 1 of 16 personality types, find yours HERE), generally bouncy, proactive, loud, optimistic, cheerful, talkative and at times irritating individual writing a poem about being LONELY and SAD! Why? How? What I did was I showed people my other side, the side that “hovers”, that can have depth or introspection and what do you know, it got rejected. I guess it was my fault right? We all permit people to interfere one way or the other. There comes a time when THEY start defining who we are rather than the other way round.

Lately I’ve started questioning myself on how REAL everything is, how LONG it’s supposed to last and how serious that should make me. I have always been the day to day person, take it as it comes. Not the best approach but hey it saves me from headaches. It’s as if for the first time I’m trying to look at the picture ahead and the idea of THAT scares the hell out of me. I never went into deep thinking about consequences or results. I mean, I used to give the crappiest exam ever and spend the next 2 months like some gold medalist. As a person I’m not too hard on myself. Sure, you beat up yourself for this and that but no long term-ness, more of a ‘living on a whim’ routine, though now, according to worldly interpretation more of a ‘living on a prayer’ scene. You know what God says about this world being temporary I think I took that too seriously, in a way God did not intend me to take. My bad.

Lately I’m being constantly reminded that it is what we do NOW that bring about consequences. And what we are meant to do now IS a consequence in itself no? Consequences leading to more consequences. I hope that made sense.

The bitter reality is that I and maybe you live in severe denial. Denial of the evil lurking in this world, denial of the fact that you actually need to STUDY to pass, denial that things don’t always turn out the way you want them too and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction (Uncle Newton, law of motion btw). It’s as if sooner or later you and I get slapped in the face with reality. The reality I at least always avoid and siphon off.

Ok I know this is getting long but bear with me, this is the best part. It is yet again, one of Talha’s awesome discoveries on why we fluctuate; moods, preferences and what not. The thing extends from what I said about two sides to a person. There is a dominant mode that defines our persona and an “inferior” or suppressed mode that can be called the “shadow” to that persona. So we all know we really can’t get rid of a shadow; we are aware of its existence but we ignore it maybe? If I may quote the co-author “The more you deny your shadow the more it builds up, until it finally manifests into ‘burgundy’ mode”. Yes, burgundy is the colour of my ‘dark’ shadowy side. The regular side is the orange-ish red, if you’re on my facebook refer to the display picture before last :P.

I guess the key is to accept the shadow and the fact that it will never leave you the hell alone. (Ok I’m POSITIVE that one of the “Marvels” made use of such a concept once. Do tell if you know because I can’t remember). Time to time, the shadow needs to be satisfied. The shadow is the extreme opposite of the personality we move around with. So my shadow is an introvert, sensing, feeling and judging type thus it takes over at times so I can stare out in space and try to look for ‘answers’ maybe or more so evaluate self, scribble in the journal, get some stuffed baggage out from the part of the brain I ignore to ponder over and of course hog on fatty food items while I’m at it.

The thing is weirdly, people look up to me for this strange reason. They don’t always tell but I can see it. There is technically nothing extraordinary about me but they tell me I have this optimistic and positive approach to life they wish they had. They go “how do you do it?” or “I need one of your positivity lectures” or “just tell me what ever can be GOOD in what’s happening?”. Basically, I’ll always have a sunny side for some rainy day. Sometimes I ask myself if I myself think that way anymore. Maybe there’s more behind the positive exterior, whatever ounce of negativity comes I shun it away because I’m so adamant to not waive off my belief in the sunny side.

But there are times when those born under the light of the sun see some shadow of doubt. Normally waders, they try to dive. People call such moments of introspection as “phases”. But really, are they? Or are they a reflection of our biggest fear that we might have lost ourselves somewhere along the way. Is this how we started out in the first place or are we just a product of those around us, a chess piece amongst many, playing the part only to get to the other side.

Think about it. I think I might too. Hence, must find food. Until next time,
Sara (serious/philosophical) Q.

Not Cricket to Picket

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 07:06:00 +0000

It can be nothing but a height of overconfidence that the initial name of this post was "Why we HAD to win". I wanted to write BEFORE the semi final (then it was "why we need to win") but was so nervous that I thought I'll get to it after we get into the finals. I'm writing post world cup now but, you know. India. Four years. This is exactly why I'm not into planning, MOM! Oh well. *Sigh*.

I have been asking around, trying to recall if it was always like this and asking parents for the times I can’t recall. Those green T shirts selling like hot jalebis (totally beats hot cakes I swear), a demand supply deficit of multimedia ensembles, totally unrecognisable faces under the green and white paint, social networking sites totally drowned in green and minute by minute reports (guilty as charged :P), people with flags and busted vocal cords on the roads, in markets and at restaurants. The biggest surprise was the preparations and celebrations of those outside the country. No one's challenging patriotism here but yes, parading streets of Toronto, London and New York with life size flags at timings as insane as 5 and 2 A.M means there was seriously something else going on this time.

We wanted this badly! We wanted this SO bad that it was almost funny. Funnier was the fact that we all totally believed that we'd get it this time even after the match-fixing trio got busted and surrounding teams were flexing muscles at our faces. Hope. We live on it. I remember saying that this was easily the ONLY thing left for us Pakistanis to look forward to since Uncle Zardari is going to be here a while, no one can stop the constant siphoning of the State's funds, the target killers are doing what they do best, America pawns us down with our own law and flies Raymond ******* ******* ****** (i permit you to use your imagination!) away and all other horrors Hamid Mir talks about. It’s funny how we are part of one tree but are totally 'branched' when it comes to beliefs, religions, modernism and of course Eid-ul-fitr. Cricket I salute you man. It’s like one of the moments in movies when the male and female leads realise they finally have something in common.

So yeah, for the past many weeks cricket became the ultimate “binder”. It was never like this before, not even when we actually WON the thing. If we’d actually won the world would have exploded, seriously. I also thought, if we LOSE the world would explode too. Imagine my pleasant disappointment. Everyone was so, I dunno….forgiving. Using text messages to ask Afridi to take back his apology, being totally content with having a “good” game and welcoming the team back with open arms. Is it me or are we severely bipolar? Don’t kill me all but I for one don’t think across those optimistic lines. I need answers. Maybe it’s because I’m not one the last minute cricket fans. Cricket has been there all along thanks to friends who used to call in sick on school days to watch matches and cousins with whom we had proper tournaments, every kid chose a “cricketer” second name and every family residence was named after a famous cricket stadium. Ours was the “Old Trafford” by the way.

I’m really not hard to please but there are some things I don’t get and I will criticise. And you know why, so it doesn’t happen again. So we all know Misbah just stood there rooted to the ground and Younis Khan’s usually spot-on fielding sucked. But I personally thing Afridi could have been more responsible than just doing one of his usual slog routines, messing up power play and giving the ball to Umar Gul when he was a clear flop that day. Don’t get me wrong, Afridi did great. He brought the whole “jazba” concept to life. He united us in a way we never imagined. The team was pretty awesome against the biggest names in cricket but it was the match of the decade that messed it all up. Let me just say, it was SO in the bag. We totally had it but we let it slip through our fingers. When THAT happens you don’t just suffice with the fact that “oh well we got to the semis. We are SO proud!”. You think “where did we go wrong, let’s find out and FIX it!”.

The thing is we are one emotional nation. And sometimes (read every time) we let our emotions get the best of us. Yes, I say best because this will be yet another compromise. This time it was OUR time. I don’t know about you guys but four years is an awful lot of time. My family knows I say “Oh I’ll be ANCIENT next World Cup” and every time the time comes I realise I’m not that ancient after all. But really next time, I’ll BE ancient. Let me say it this time around too. I have no idea how 27 year olds enjoy cricket and scream their vocal cords off. I will find out in about 4 years I guess.

Anyway, as Talha pointed out in his cricket post, let’s not just reserve the unified version of us for Cricket alone. We are in deep you-know-what and if we had hearts the size of radioactive cotton candy for bat ball (that’s what we used to call it 15 years ago) then we should not deflate just now. Why do I end up saying such stuff, this was about sports for God’s sake! I need to get meself a political following. Anyway, I just realized I’m wearing totally Indian colours and writing about Pakistan. I think I’ll go drown myself in the exotic swimming pool up front.

Until next time, IF I manage to stay afloat, (which I’m very capable off fyi),
Sara (currently emotional) Q

P.S : The post title upstairs is actually a real song title :P

Come clarity

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:09:00 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

It is those from the nation of the unbelievers that ask God for signs. God, I'm not saying I want a sign, but a little clarity would help. These days I spend a lot of time being troubled by my own mind. Given the profession, time to reflect on what has happened, what is happening and what remains to be seen is very short, if there at all. But, God provides and a little time for reflection was at hand. Introspection, how I love thee.

My uncle was to arrive from Lahore to catch another flight to take him to Kabul. In between, there was plenty of time to meet up and have a little fun. Little did we know that PIA had plans of its own. The flight got delayed three times. We found ourselves at the airport at 1:00 in the morning. At this point going home was useless so I managed to convince my parents that they nap in the car and I'll stand guard, ready to wake them at the appropriate hour. You see, my uncle didn't know we were going to meet him and we had to catch him before he checked into international departures.

So, here I was. In the front seat of a Toyota Corolla, in the Islamabad International Airport parking area (I refuse to call it Benazir Bhutto International Airport), my parents asleep, and me staring out the windscreen. That cursed big blue sign bearing the incorrect name of the airport staring back at me. It was while I was playing tug of war with my eye lids that I realized, I was having fun. Just sitting there, watching people go by, almost as if I was invisible. They were all there, the concerned grandmother, the excited child, that guy who has literally the whole family there to see him off and completing the line up were the villagers who were confused with the whole airport experience.

What did I do with this time? What did I think of? Nothing at all. The only thing running through my mind was the calming track "From The Heart" by X-Ray dog (link). For a time, after a very long time, I felt content. I just needed the time alone. However, slowly, stray flashes converged to form thoughts in my mind. It was all that I had been through for the past two years. I find it strange that through it all I only remember the good things, never the bad. They are after all important. I only remember the important things. Always the important things. For once in two years I wasn't thinking about the future, I wasn't worrying myself to death. It was all just about where I was and who was here with me. Only the important ones. You know who you are.

Finally, my uncle arrived and we changed the venue from from the airport parking lot to the Front Page Cafe at the Rawalpindi PC. It was the only thing close enough at the time (@Sara: Exam Hall! :P). There we were, talking over sandwiches and coffee at 4:00 in the morning. What do you eat at time like that? Muhammad Asad writes of an Arabic saying about coffee in his book "The Road To Mecca" (Highly recommended read). The saying goes "Good coffee is bitter like death, and hot like love". Now I can't say much about the death part, but if love is anywhere as hot as this coffee, sign me up. It was that good, but at 4:00 AM, I guess everything is. There I sat, staring out the glass panelling of the hotel lobby, watching the deep ink blue of the night sky give way to the light azure of the morning. The first sunrise I had seen in a long time. The caffeine worked its magic and finally I made the transition from nocturnal to insomniac. This time, it was "Love Washes Over (Airwave remix) by Art Of Trance (link) that echoed in the cavern that is my skull. I imagine if I ever got high, this is what it would feel like (@Sara: calm down, I'm not going to get high. Ever.)

Now, I was thinking of everything. Clarity. I thought of the future. This time no worrying. It could just be the lack of sleep, but I seemed to have that optimism that I lost long ago. This optimism however had lost its taint of naivety. I thought of the reality I had seen in the past two years and how I had dealt with it. What I had to do, what lay ahead was clear. This time there was no confusion. There was nothing to be confused about. It's all up to me what I choose to do ahead. I even thought of the blog and the forum attached to it. As far as the blog goes, I know that the reason I make random posts is because that is the zone where I feel comfortable. I prefer to deal with the abstract, Sara does a better job at the concrete. I'm the dreamer, she's the thinker. I'm the idealist, she's the realist. I'm allegro, and she is vivace. Posts about nothing, yet kind of about something are my niche. I know that now.

As me and my mother stepped outside to give the brothers some time to talk, my thoughts switched to the forum. The pale light of dawn greeted us accompanied by the cold morning air. I was still playing in the recesses of my own mind as my mother and I talked. To someone else I may have appeared distant and uninterested, but my mother knew what I was up to, how could she not, and she knew not to disturb me when I'm like that. So, we walked, keeping the conversation going, me intermittently counting off the gun shots I heard in the distance and my mind thinking of the forum. I wanted to make a community, but I was wrong to think that it would just grow itself. It's going to take effort on my part. Anam, Sidra, Abbas and Osama, thanks for taking the time to comment on the forum. Omair, thank you for taking the time to actually read the entire blog and comment as well. I promise you I'll be participating actively in the forum myself from now on.

The whole experience ended with an emotional brotherly hug in front of the international departure lounge of the Islamabad International Airport (NOT the Benazir Bhutto International Airport) and with me writing this post at 7:00 in the morning. At this point I don't know if this was all a dream or not, but I guess I'll find out when I see the blog after I wake up.

Talha A. B.

Cricket, we (try to) love you

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 14:58:00 +0000

Given the recent events, there is no way that we could not make a post about cricket. I'm not going get into stats and in depth analysis. We're a cricket loving nation and we're packed from border to border with overzealous fans. Toss a cricket ball and chances are you'll end up hitting an "expert". I'm not that guy. I'm the guy who will duck just in time to dodge that ball. To summarize, at the risk of re-awakening horrible memories, Pakistan lost to India in the semis. Yes it's true. It wasn't a bad dream.

It was an interesting tournament to say the least. Not many held high hopes for team Pakistan. Understandable, given their performance since 2003. Still, if the fire didn't burn too brightly, there were still those lingering embers that just never get extinguished. The men in green defied expectations and gave a performance that fanned the sparks to bright flame once again.

For a month, everything seemed to be alright. There was no terrorism, no rotting politics, no economy going to hell. Everyone was happy, content and green with patriotism. For a month, we were all a nation. Everyones interest peaked. Thats the conundrum I suppose. When we expect nothing from our team, they'll go out and do something impossible. When we're all cheering them on, they don't do so well. Maybe next time we don't watch the tournament and just celebrate when the boys bring the cup home?

One thing that I did notice, people didn't get angry this time. Sure, there was the usual post-match depression the next day, but there was no display of rage. The reason being, that the team didn't really do anything wrong this time. After a long time, they seem to be back on track. A team that everyone wrote off in the qualifiers made it to the semis. No one can say that this time they lost due to lack of trying. There was no ugly controversy this time and no coach fatalities. It was all about cricket.

We could have all used a win. Like a pain killer, it would have numbed the effects of everything going on around us. Perhaps this is a positive result of the defeat. It will be easier to get back to dealing with the problems at home. All our battles lie not on a cricket pitch and Jazba does not just belong in Mohali.

Talha A. B.

Disposable income, where art thou?

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 18:19:00 +0000

As I stepped out today, the air seemed different. It wasn't the same biting cold that it had been for the past wintery months. It was laced with a healthy yellow glow from the shining sun. The sky was just the right shade of light blue. The weather had changed. That was enough to remind me of all the things that have been changing recently. Life is at a peculiar stage right now, like a desert engulfed in a sandstorm everything is shifting and changing and what lies ahead is not so clear. I'll tell you one other thing thats changing. The damn prices.

Inflation is biting away at everyones heels right now and if our wallets were girls then they would be ecstatic because they are slimming down fast. I can't count the number of times me and my friends have walked into a nice looking establishment, sat down, looked at the prices and then had a brainstorming session on how to walk out without making our financial situation apparent to anyone. Usually it involves "I dunno, nothing on the menu strikes me as interesting, we'll be back in five minutes". Oh yeah, we've done that. Don't you dare judge me..... and stop giving me that look. A lesson to the uninitiated, walk in, ask for the menu, do not under any circumstance sit down, if the prices seem manageable given the funds at hand park your behind on the nearest table, else use the "5 minute" line mentioned above, remember to thank TAB later.

So while me and a friend (henceforth, Adeel) were discussing the trials and tribulations of the life of a trainee at work it was inevitable that the topic of our pay package (don't ask) and the prices today would come up. An idea hit us, both of us having studied economics vaguely remembered that time when we were half awake in class and managed to hear the teacher say "blah blah blah consumer price index blah blah blah inflation". For those who might not know about what the consumer price index (CPI) is, I'll try to wrap it up in a single line. A CPI is a list on which the prices of various items are listed and tracked over time to get an idea of the prevailing rate of inflation in the country. If you're the Sherlock Holmes type and thats not enough for you then you can always do this or this. Back on point; me and Adeel remembered consumer price index and decided to make our own little index, the Student Price Index.

And now the curious wonder what the Student Price Index is? Well, the Student Price Index (henceforth, the SPI) is a list on which items vital to the student/trainee are listed and their prices are tracked over time to get an idea of the prevailing rate of inflation the student/trainee must endure in his academic life. Driven to help students everywhere, we set out to create the SPI that as of yet existed only in our heads. After hours of interviews, calculations and research, the SPI was turned into reality. The fruits of our labour are shown below.

So there you go. Now you know what you're up against. Time to go to parliament and start a discussion on what to do about this grave issue. To explain a bit on whats going on above, the items selected are those that the student finds themselves dealing out cash for the most. The year 2010 is selected as the base year because well, no one remembered how much a roll paratha cost back in 2000 (Rs. 45, FYI). The prices of the same items in the year 2011 are listed as well and the change over one year is calculated to arrive at the figure for inflation. But it doesn't stop there. The items are also given a weightage according to how important they are. To explain the concept of weightage, items that are considered closer to being necessities get a high weightage. Luxury items get a low weightage. Why is this done? Well, a 50% increase in the price of a Bentley may not have everyone reconsidering sending their child to college but a 50% increase in the price of wheat is a surefire way to start a revolution in the country. The result of this economics lesson is that the inflation rate comes out to 27%. Fun fact, that actually is the inflation rate of our country at the moment (so you know we did a good job :D). However, after weighting, for us students the inflation rate is somewhat closer to 20%.

The SPI is something that just started out as a joke and the list is in no way complete. But it was a fun exercise and I'm actually interested making it into a proper index so I would love feedback on the matter. For one, having a full and proper list of items that students and trainees spend their money on is important. Second, this is actually the work of two guys, so the list doesn't take into account items that the girls would normally spend on. You can leave a comment or make a post on the forum (highly recommended).

The updated version of the SPI can always be found here. For now, tis time to wrap up this post and return to dreaming of that big paycheck that I'll hopefully be collecting someday.

Talha A. B.

Stop and Stare

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 21:28:00 +0000

This might sound entertaining but honestly what i'm about to discuss here is not short of being an epidemic itself. My dears, I talk about the one and only "STARING" habit which is such an inborn "value" that it sort of accompanies ethnic origin at birth. Face it, WE are a curious nation. We were born wide eyed and even now the existence of the opposite gender never ceases to amaze us. Of course the main problem is girls complaining about the full body scan rather than the other way around. I mean, face it, if a guy catches a girl looking at him intently, with a silly one corner smile he is more likely to puff up his chest than to tug at lose hair strands. BUT there are both sides to a discussion and boys, I will do you justice.

Every Pakistani woman is aware of the fact that when she leaves the house she will be scanned from head to toe by any male individual who frequents her path. If you think its because of wearing something provocative, well think again. I'm not saying thats not a big way to get yourself "hounded" but generally no beauty, height, weight or amount of layers has anything to do with it. And honestly who are we to define provocative; it is too relative. So yes take a walk and start the count; the security guard of the house up front, two teenagers returning from tuition, the regular uncle on a cycle, the guy fixing some phone line, the the shopkeeper, regular suited corporate guy driving down the road, etc. It is like this paranoia that the woman has come to ignore and even accept.

This was a sensitive issue to write on. Though common enough, Miss Q here had to search high and low for answers, talk openly to her male acquaintances as to the reason behind this predicament and observe others all the same being victimised herself. My question, "WHY?". The answer "instinct". The answer took me back to this article I read in the Readers' Digest once about attraction in general. Basically what that article said was, the guy and the girl "size" each other up. Any person, man or woman carries with them this compatibility criteria and when they come across someone who fits that criteria it creates this invisible thread of connection between them. Think about it, if the staring guy's good looking you're not THAT unpleased and well if he's not he's just a shameless loser with no respect for women isn't he? The thing is girls, half of the time you and me don't realise that we give out these signals of approval. I'm not saying such instinct is wrong. It is this instinct that is enabling the population to grow this rapidly.

But look here, there HAS to be something about Pakistan that's different right. What about, say the European countries. Did their hormones get exhausted? Its weird how we claim to be more loyal since most of us stay hitched to the same guy/girl post/pre mid-twenty's age till the time one of the spouses passes away. I get how the single generation scours the market but what I don't get is how every man AND woman doesn't become blurry for a guy/girl when he/she has chosen one to be there forever. It is outrageous, the crimes being done on the name of religion but noone knows the basics OF the religion. I might only be touching "looking" but we all know its an area open for creativity and physicality.

And girls, despite what i said about provocative clothing being a relative term, we all know our cultural limits now don't we. If we exceed those limits we are compelling the male population to to go gaga. Even though speaking from the sisterhood I know how inappropriately some female individuals have come to behave. Like, VERY inappropriate. If the girl deserves to be left alone and not harrassed then the guys deserve less impetus to invoke certain desires. Sometimes I feel its the lack of entertainment that this happens; either its too pricey or too scarce. Of course this somewhat justifies the labour, working class but NOT the "Burger bachay". "Poondi" as the guys like to call it is a social event held at strategic spots usually in large groups. They're easy to spot, mostly at "open" eateries, a bit dressed up, facing the same direction and they usually won't buy anything to eat since they might need to change location at some indefinite time. Then come the "Poondi approvers", girls, mostly young, giggly, basically what the audience is facing and having the silly notion that its because they are so hot/pretty. *sigh*. Oh and they too shall refrain from eating since they consider it a turnoff. What as waste, pass me those fries!

So here i am taking everyone's side. Im so great aren't I? The thing is God created the woman to be loved and respected , not pieced down by body proportions. That's the way it is; the woman needs more respect in this regard than the man because of who and what she is. See, I cannot under any circumstances open my gate at 12 am and walk down to some corner shop 5 minutes away while maybe a guy can. So yeah, just because a woman is apparently admiring someone's bulgy muscles doesnt give the muscle man the same right. (Oh please don't whine, you guys get to do more fun stuff ALREADY). The gist of it is, admire the beauty of the human being, single them out but be DISCREET, or else very soon you lose respect and ultimately credibility. There's admiration and then there's harrasment. Of course the labouror breaking down the road will never read this but maybe some high-ups will and thus serve as an example. Now run off my kids, I pronounce you brothers and sisters. Kidding! :P

Until next time, this is Sara Q thinking of getting some well deserved sleep!

I've seen this already

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:59:00 +0000

It is only as we age that we realize how wonderful childhood can be. It is at that time that our mind experiences one of the most wonderful feelings it can. That is, the feeling of discovering something new. Once we become accustomed to life and living such moments are few and far apart. I've recently rediscovered this feeling, though not because I've found or learned something new but because I've been shown and reminded of what it used to be like. You see, right now I'm living in a house with four babies. Four noisy, clever, hilarious, excitable, annoying, cute babies. Its hard to explain but watching these little guys kick, scream and raise hell is fun. It takes me back to that time when every single thing I saw was new and exciting, every little thing was a huge catalyst for the imagination. The world was still full of mystery back then.

I'm still somewhat of a child I guess. I'm always looking for something new to experience and when I find it I get bored with it fast. The list of things I've started and never finished is a very long one. Just a few things off the top off my head that are on the said list: tennis, horse riding, golf, guitar playing, dj-ing, making a website, drawing a comic, photography, writing a short story and making an award winning video game. Its always the same. I stumble upon something, I'm overcome with excitement, I work at it for a while and then the interest wanes till finally I move on to something else.

The thrill of starting something new is indescribable. I was extremely enthusiastic when I started this blog but like all my previous endeavors my interest began to fade. But, all is well now, for some odd reason I can't bring myself to quit. As I've discovered recently, a creative Talha equals a happy Talha. So, these days I find myself rediscovering things that I had abandoned a while ago and what I've realized is, no matter how many times you do something, it can always surprise you. Any activity or hobby, whatever you want to call it, is like getting to know someone. When you find out that you are somewhat compatible there is that initial excitement and as you go along you keep discovering new things about them. You get surprised at every turn. Of course there are the occasional rough spots, but commitment is what carries you through.

So, these days its all about starting where I left off. Its not the same as that feeling that we have in our childhood when we experience something new. It's a more different feeling but different doesn't mean bad. The point is, our experience in life changes how we experience life. What we look for and what we find is different. We've seen so much that we think its hard to be surprised anymore. We're wrong. So, what this means for now is that I get back to dj-ing and story writing. I introduced myself to them a long time ago and its time I got to know them a bit better.

Hopefully the next post won't be as random,
Talha A. B.

Green gone black

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 12:16:00 +0000

Long time no see followers. We’ve just been REALLY busy. A lot of significant and insignificant things have taken place since I last posted something here. As far as the national level is concerned though, most of what’s happening nowadays is not only significant but significantly horrifying too.

It probably started with the Air Blue plane crash. That one came with a personal connection too. Like my equally busy co-author said; there were 150 people on that plane but somehow all of the 18 million were connected to someone on that plane, directly or indirectly. Of course the devastating flood was already doing what it does best somewhere in the background. And then it came onto the big screen. More than half of the country got affected by the flood. The loss of human lives is another thing but the survival of the remaining is more than just a toll on the unaffected.

Here we all were worrying about the water when some people thought of adding some fire to the pot. I’m talking repeated bomb blasts, firings and target killings. The fact that a totally disinterested and innocent pedestrian can be made a target just for the heck of it just scares the hell out of me. As if that wasn’t enough a mob killed two kids with their bare hands in the midst of onlookers and policemen somewhere in Sialkot.

Add in the total drainage of State reserves, glutinous corrupt politicians playing blame games all the time, Cricketing scandals, skyrocketing prices, diplomatic dirt with God knows how many countries, the US of A making us lick their boots and oh yeah we even got a 6.3 shaker a few weeks ago to shake off what’s left of us. Yes, my dear Pakistanis, we are officially screwed. In fact we are SO screwed that it might eradicate my inability to swear. And yeah, that’s saying something.

But guess what nothing up there is new, nothing you and I don’t know about already. So yeah, let’s look through the other end of the periscope for a change. Let’s stop saying that Zardari will rot in hell or Imran Khan will be our savior or who’s corrupt and who’s here with a fake degree. Let’s talk about Pakistan, the people/ citizens for a change. Are WE doing our bit too or just sitting around like spoilt kids waiting to be spoon-fed. I know you guys don’t want to hear this but it’s all us. We no longer deserve anything. Now at this exact point people usually say “Why would God do this to us, we’re the best Muslim country in the world. Look at blah and blah, look at what they wear” etc etc. The thing is it’s not about being a good Muslim anymore. Hell, I hardly think anyone knows what a good original Muslim is supposed to look and feel like. People all over this world are not screwed, Muslims or not. WE NEED TO BE GOOD PEOPLE, PEOPLE. Honestly, we do that and we’ll actually become good Muslims.

So what am I talking about? I’m talking how wildly animalistic we’ve all become. Ready to snatch and steal everything thinking it’s our right. What do you think was going through the mind of those ruthless men while they were beating those boys to death? It’s a frustration we carry with us at all time, ready to not just beat but actually eat the pulp out of anyone we can find. That mob was not just a mob; it represented US, Pakistanis who have severely slipped down to the down most rung of the human race ladder.

Think about it, these days people will rip off, lie, cheat, steal or even murder someone on a good day. For those of you who think this is a bit too much read on for day to day ventures; people will keep polluting a place because they think one wrapper doesn’t make a difference, talk back rudely to some shopkeeper, not give way on the fast lane and when they do it’ll come with a complementary hand action and colorful vocabulary, waste resources and power knowing they are scarce, call a woman ‘baji’ and as soon as her back turns give her a nice MRI, honk rudely on the roads without rhyme or reason, try to sell off expired goods, arrive late at meetings and on weddings because ‘that’s how it is’, break into queues, carry out full fledge 'phaddas' over the most immature reasons possible, bully anyone who classifies as a subordinate, even make up dirty rumours etc. etc. And even without these everyday happenings the average Pakistani has become this combination of aggression, jealousy and impatience and when they see someone who's not, a big conversion is underway for the poor soul. Its the "If my life sucks so should yours" routine.

The thing is two wrongs don’t make a right. Oh God teach this concept to this country, please! (Yeah that includes me too. NONE of us are bathed in milk at the moment :P). When one person is in the wrong it makes him a total loser not an excuse or justification for us to repeat that. So the plan is as simple as my name; if ALL of us do what we’re supposed to and do it right we are SO out of this. That includes everyone, from some high profile CEO to an office janitor.

But you know what the real problem is? We just don’t CARE anymore. See, people mix up love and care. We all say we love the country but we don’t CARE about it. BIG difference ma dears. It’s like any relationship actually; we need to contribute into it or we’re in for a big time break-up very, VERY soon! This is one relationship we need to start fixing, like NOW!

Think about it. Until next time and hoping it comes soon,

Sara Q.

Plus or minus?

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:08:00 +0000

There is a wedding going on. Everyone’s pretty overdressed and wearing way too much jewelry. Then again, this is not a normal wedding. The bride finally agreed to move on and marry someone. You know, to get past the loss of her husband who drove over a cliff and his body was never found. His belongings and identification documents were totally intact though. Bad luck I guess. Just as the final act of the ceremony is being carried out a gentleman appears declaring himself as the lost husband. That can’t be, cries the bride. It is so, says the intruder and he quickly tells how he was rescued by some local villagers and as his face was totally distorted and there was no photograph available the plastic surgeon gave him the face of his own dead son. Silence! The cameraman goes wild. For some odd reason he not only captures the expressions of the main characters but anyone he can find; including all the badly dressed guests and the waiter holding the tray. I guess the next move would be to actually prove through an exhaustive question and answer session that he is in fact the same guy. Why he was out of the picture for so long is of course another story.

Sounds familiar right? This is a scene typical of all those Indian soaps on Star plus/One, Sony, Zee etc. Basically they’re predictable. Anyone can just think along the strangest lines and concoct a complete script. Here’s a list of some other clichés we discover even before they are declared:

The guy and the girl who are totally in love with each other will never get married. At least not in the beginning.
The person who seems the sweetest will always be the villain.
Two people who totally hate each other in the beginning will ultimately wind up together.
There will always be a handy plastic surgeon nearby.
If someone is in an accident the only think that will be distorted will be their face. Thus the handy plastic surgeon.
People have selective amnesia like they have the flu.
You can buy the whole population in order to carry out an evil plan.
People talk to themselves aloud; very very loud thereby revealing their plan, good or bad.
There will always be a handy eavesdropper somewhere. His job made easier as the doors will always be carelessly open, ALL the time.
The script writers have no biological sense. For e.g. If a girl is unable to enslave a certain gentleman she will simply ‘pretend’ she’s pregnant and get away with it.
If something big has to be revealed, an unraveling of a previously discovered evil plot, it will all be done in the middle of some poor bloke’s wedding/engagement/reception. And then all the guests shake their heads and leave.
There is always an undiscovered illegitimate child out there.
Sometimes a guy/girl will consent to a marriage only to take some sort of revenge.
If a person is wrongfully blaming another, the other will never put up any defense. I actually pull my hair out when that happens.
People can waste their entire lives only to wait for someone to grow up so they can take revenge. What a waste!
The transition from good to evil and vice versa is as easy as a change of clothes.
There is no need to mourn a dead person. He’ll turn up sooner or later.

Everyday when I come down to dinner I’m greeted with the ‘dhum dhum tana nana dhum dhum’ soundtrack. I was never allowed to talk in between serials but now it is an even bigger crime. I repeatedly tell my mom that I only comment when the soundtrack and flashes come on. Also, when something big is revealed with an even bigger reaction and an additional soundtrack (dhak dhak dhina dhina dhaaa) you can actually listen to a full song on some other channel. Unfortunately, my strategic interruption is not appreciated. And thanks to the looming exam threat I seem to have lost my previous jurisdiction of holding the remote and commanding it. Of course I can avoid all that by just walking off but family TV time is something none of us wants to lose.

So yes I have to endure like many others. The funny thing is that we do end up watching them. I mean we curse, overuse the words ‘lame’ and ‘stupid’ over and over again but we end up watching; amidst the remote snatching and begging to change the channel. Is it because they are so totally impractical that our minds just go numb and simply get entertained without reason or logic. Having said that, sometimes there does come a serial that focuses on normalcy too. I remember watching one about four women and their individual lives. It had topics such as wife beatings, vulnerability of teenage girls and a mother fighting cancer. It was a job well done I must say. Anyway, that apart the question is what is so alluring about these dramas that our mothers, grandmothers and aunts totally weave their routines around them?

The first is easy; time span. You can sit for hours watching back to backs but technically its just 30 minutes each right? Second is the culture difference. Technically what they show is neither our religion nor culture so whatever moral or immoral goes on we don’t give a damn. Thirdly, even with all the riff raff I’ve talked about upstairs they are made to seem interesting. I mean even if something totally non practical as marriage for revenge happens the audience will be excited at such a concept; especially when they know that the girl/boy will fall for the other ultimately. And lastly, there is so much devastation around us that it actually helps to look at foreign faces. Add in the fact that the quality of Pakistani dramas went so downhill in the ‘middle’ ages that people reverted to Indian ones and well got too comfortable to revert back!

I really miss those times, the PTV prime time. A decent serial everyday from 7:45 to 8:45 pm. This is coming from the generation that experienced “Alpha, bravo, Charlie”, “Kashkol”, “Bandhan”, “Laag” and many others that I can’t recall. The comedy too was awesome. Imagine the “UFONE” team in a 45 minutes play and you’ll get the picture. If you go back even further you get names like “Aangan terha” and “Ankahi”. The emphasis at that time was on the writing and acting. It was never supposed to be fancy or anything. Dramas were about normal, everyday people going through ordinary and extraordinary experiences. You could relate to the characters, connect with their grief or joy. They were all of a decent length; maximum 13 episodes. Sometimes, they showed these single episode short plays based on some social issue. Nothing! And I mean NOTHING can compare to those times. Not all these three channels combined together.

Then came the dark ages. The funding probably halted. There was a national writer’s block probably. Only a few programs were worth watching. It was all downhill after that; especially when came the stampede of private channels. Writers and directors wanted new horizons where they could open up their wings more, think a bit provocative maybe. I’m not at all against the depiction of the taboos of society because frankly they’re a part of it. What totally pissed me off was the wrong depiction of our culture. Cultural shock it was. Scanty clothing, vulgar behaviour on national television and above all the embarrassment that all of this was transmitted abroad too. I mean just because they were private channels didn’t give them the right to go all out on everything. It was almost desperate. The comedy went to such a depth that I don’t think it can ever recover. If you suffer from bulimia you can actually try it out; it would make throwing up easier.

So it was then that the cable guys decided to bring in fresh meat. Lo and behold, Star Plus made an entry. This change was welcomed with open arms because to be frank Indian movies might be all stripped; the dramas are a total opposite. Yes, there are exceptions but they are prominently looked at as something rotten and unclean. The moral of the story is that no one forgets their roots; they might be going wayward due to the versatile nature of the film industry but here on television it’s all prim, proper, sacrificial and traditional.

However, I see an improvement now. Saw this drama on a private channel and found it very refreshing. It was realistic and you could actually relate to it. The strange fact is that it was a sad one but the sadness or the screw ups of the characters didn’t seem frustrating at all. The gist of Indian dramas is that they are wholly and solely based on misunderstandings. If you look at it this way these dramas are actually shows of pessimism. They stretch endlessly thereby justifying the fact that there can never be an end to problems or human devastation; it is like you get rid of one problem and another one just comes up. It all runs on evil I tell you.

Unsurprisingly I can go on and on but I promised myself I’d stay close to the point. No need to feel sarcastic, this IS to the point; just an elongated one. To conclude I would like to announce that PTV is sort of back again. Let us not ignore it anymore. If our channels are recovering we should at least give them a chance. Let’s just give the Indian background banshee singer a little break and dive into local waters. And that would also go for the aunty next door who’s watching a repeat telecast at two in the morning. It appears that the “dhoom tana nana” beat is my lullaby for tonight.

I will return soon my loyal readers. Till then, this sleep deprived person bids you goodnight! We shall meet again. Up up and away!!!! (Yeah I should definitely get some sleep now).

Until next time, this is Sara Q DOZING off! :)

Some pictures + a thousand words

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:38:00 +0000

I'm sure most of you have already noticed that this will be a different than usual post. Photography is one of those passions that almost everyone has but not all get to pursue it. Fortunately the basic need is a camera; need not be the professional SLR one. A simple digital one will do for the time being. Click away amateurishly. Who knows, your passion might die there and then. At least you won't call it 'abandoned' anymore. So yeah as I was saying, this is different from my usual philosophical interpretations (read self-created). The following are some random images I took round my house. To be honest they have sort of a philosophical take too. Anyway here they are; random as random can be:

Straightforwardly, this is a junction of a blue wall and an orange wall. This wall deserves the honour to be on this cool blog because it is highly responsible for the unsurpassed creativity that Sara Q is famous for. It's the blue actually. It gives ideas; and not just for writing the blog or poetry or my journal. There have actually been a few "eureka" moments as well (don't ask). The orange is this happy colour. It's like this stimulant; I look at it and start feeling positive. No idea if that's actually been proven scientifically or not. The 'blue' theory is true though.

This here is the ‘Centaurus’ under construction. Named the ‘landmark of Pakistan’ (honestly, how many landmarks are there?) this multi-something project promises a seven star hotel, a luxury apartment complex and a mall complete with a movie theatre et all. Anyway, this is not a promotion, it’s just this huge building that will have all the fun stuff mentioned above but as of now, for someone like me only two things matter concerning this project; whether it’s going to block my sun once completed and second is understandably the security of the workers involved. This is actually an after hour shot. Usually you can see tiny, speck size construction workers moving about. What would seem like an impossible feat to us is a livelihood for them. Oh yeah, count in diversion of traffic as a concern too.

For antique lovers: this is an antique! I found this lying somewhere in the house and gave it a new status when found out that it was more than a hundred years old. It is a sort of an heirloom too actually. On further investigation on its origin I was told it was actually passed down to my grandmother when she got married. And so it resides on my fireplace. People say it's dumb to get attached to materials but i say it's not the materials it's the memory or the person associated with them.

An original Harry Potter collectible. The 'Knight Bus' that could take you anywhere as long as it was on earth. When I mention Harry Potter people always seem amused. Little do they know Harry is not about a young boy waving a wand and saying a few words. Harry Potter is a concept, a getaway from this weird humdrum of life. It sort of transports you to this other world which might be a fantasy place but it follows the same principles we follow; right and wrong, good and evil. life and death. Just like we have to make sacrifices in this world to get a happy ending, same goes with Potter. What can I say, the concept will never cease to have its influence on me. :)

Thick black rimmed glasses are actually the most stereotyped thing in the world. Words like ‘geek’ and ‘nerd’ have always been associated with them. It’s like people never realized there were actually eyes behind the lenses. It became easier when ‘anti-glare’ ones were introduced though. Though this stereotype stays I’m happy to see that glasses have actually experienced a rebirth in the western world. And well lets face it; fashion travels super fast eastwards. Big names are seen sporting dark rimmed spectacles on the red carpet and award shows. So just like the world is starting to get over the ‘size zero’ concept I guess glasses are gradually getting a new meaning. There was actually a girl my junior who was a total 24/7 black rimmed glasses person and she was the most sought after female of the batch. I guess there is still hope for that minority. :P

I guess we all know that the human heart has always been associated with the concept of love. What I don't get is that the heart is this spongy thing with valves coming out of every direction. Then how come the 'heart' associated with love got this shape. Well I know a spongy thing with valves though totally amazing would look a bit strange on greeting cards and teddy bears. However, as to how this shape really came into being is a total mystery to me. Please enlighten me if anyone else knows.

The classic question; is the glass half empty or half full. How do you see it?How would you want to see it? A total optimism/pessimism choice.

An African man and woman carry water buckets on their heads. The one on the left is the woman. If you look closely you can see she's also carrying a baby. It is more prominent in the shadow rather than the original piece.

This is actually a figment of the "Flag movement" I talked about in an earlier post. The fact that our flag is an integral part of our lives as Pakistanis. It is more of a 'back to basics' concept. First realise how the flag came into being because it is humanly impossible to imagine the whole country in such a manner. A simple glance on the back of the car can provoke thoughtfulness or a realisation of our true identity. Maybe a humble reminder that no matter how much screwed up we are these days we are still ONE. Just like Talha A.B reminded us of our blessings in his last post.

A lost cause? Something we had but don’t have anymore. It’s surprising how much we Pakistanis look up to cricket to boost our ‘terrorised’ spirits. Unfortunately, like my co-author said the whole political/social instability seems to have gotten them too. Nothing seemed to go right this season; as if there was this dark cloud looming overhead. Like some curse.

Anyway, this equipment you see here is in every Pakistani home irrespective of economic situation or gender configuration. Yes, even I’m a self declared cricketer :D.

Street cricket is like this getaway and even a platform for getting ‘discovered’. It’s not just some leisurely activity. It can mean war; tournaments, challenges, a fight for glory b/w 2 different sides of the neighbourhood. Yep THAT serious. In the current situation it has become this outlet for rage. In many cases disappeared completely thanks to parents worrying over security. The latter has actually caused the young generation to go totally couch potato. Whatever exercise they got in these meager two hours is now kaput. Great! Now we have another potential evil to get rid off; obesity.

A lamp. With a light bulb. Emitting light that is obviously not needed right now so I’ll just switch it off. Somehow, under the country’s current electricity deprived situation it is unfit to fashionably photograph a lamp. This was a lucky first shot.

A mirror. Chemical composition has something to do with silver I guess. Obviously, it reflects our appearance but what else does it do. It helps us feed on narcissism. Sometimes elevates our appearance related insecurities. For some it is an obsession (think on the lines of Snow White; ‘mirror mirror on the wall…..remember?) It shows us who we are in our own eyes, even if we try to hide our truths, good or bad. It’s actually our own self looking at us in a ‘are you sure’ manner. Mirrors help us gain confidence too, its like looking yourself in the eye, accepting what you see. Like Talha A. B puts it; you need to bathe in your own glory sometimes. There are many superstitions surrounding mirrors but let’s not scare our minimal amount of readers away. Add in magic too (the mirror of ‘Erised’ in “Harry Potter”). The terms ‘mirror’ and ‘reflection’ are used as metaphors to convey love, telepathy and understanding too. As writes a local poet “He saw her as no mirror could reveal her to herself”. (The rest is unimportant and explicit)

Surprisingly this picture was taken less than a month ago. This is a tree right outside my house and it's surprising because now its all green and 'springy'. I was strolling in my driveway one day when i noticed the myriad of colours behind this tree. It was near sunset. I quickly ran in for the camera and captured it, afraid that the light will go bad. Weirdly yet logically i see the same array of colours in the backdrop the next day, same time. It was then I realised that this was like an indirect second chance. I mean, even if my batteries had been dead I could have easily caught this image on camera the next day or any day for a while, before the backdrop changed course due to weather. Somehow it seemed appropriate that this picture should mark the end of my post.

On first glance this leafless, apparently dead tree against a subtle sunset gives this forlorn look but the fact that it stays in the same position all year round, grows leaves, sheds leaves, its background goes from dull to bright and bright to dull gives a lesson in itself. It’s here to stay. Just because it braves against all forces of nature doesn’t make it any more lifeless than us. It makes it strong and steadfast.

And like I said, if nature is so forgiving that it provided the same pattern and array of colours the next day then why can’t we, as humans be forgiving. What’s so great about us? Who do we think we are? Why can’t we give someone a second chance, or nature or situations or events? Everything! To be honest most importantly why can’t we give our own selves a second chance, a break perhaps?

I’ll let you guys sleep on it. Remember it is only when you learn to love and accept yourself that others learn to love and accept you. Think about it.

Until next time, Sara Q is signing off.

The blessings on my table

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 18:33:00 +0000

We all love our country more than any other country in the world. It's what makes us who we are. Pakistani. It is the womb that gave birth to us and it is the soil to which we will return. Just like how we somehow feel the pain of a loved one, seeing our motherland bleed causes us great pain. Once again, our country has suffered a horrifying blow and the price was the blood and lives of its sons. You know the event that I refer to. It is the terror attacks that occurred in Lahore.

These days it seems that the mood in Pakistan keeps getting more and more gloomy. Even our national cricket and hockey teams seem very depressed. The poor guys feel so down that they haven't been able to perform at peak levels recently and as a result have suffered many (very humiliating) defeats. It seems we Pakistani's just can't get a lucky break these days.

Everything seems to working against us, in an almost conspiracy like manner.

As a nation, we are all suffering from depression. So whats the most basic strategy to counter this? Well, like I've been told many times by a countless number of people, the trick is to look at the positive side of things. Like they say, Always look on the bright side of life. That is what this weeks post is about, looking at all that is great about this country, aside from the fact that me and Sara Q. were born here. Here we go:

This one is a no brainer. Freedom. We were born free. Now I know that given the conditions of the country we're not as free as we'd like to think, but thats our fault, we let things get like this.
We are not a nation of quitters. We are a resilient nation. Obsession with a cause is what gave us the country and this obsession is what allows us to keep it. We've been hanging on by a thread since 1947 and no amount of predator missiles will make us let go.
Our nation is overflowing with talent and potential. How many times have our kids gotten out of this world results in A-Levels? We won the cricket world cup and countless other tournaments on pure talent without the presence of any formal sports coaching facilities. Same for hockey. The day we tap into our potential will be the the day we take over the world.
We have an amazing cricket team and hockey team. Sure, they're going through a rough patch right now, but we all know once they get rolling they'll knock down any opponent they're up against.
Whats the one thing that any Pakistani returning from foreign lands crave? You know this, stop reading for five seconds and try to guess this. Chances are you'll need less than three. The answer is, mangoes. We've got all four seasons and each season brings with its own tasty produce.
We are a nation blessed with beauty. Beautiful people surrounded by beautiful scenery. Whether its valleys surrounded by mountains blanketed in white and green or rolling plains with rivers carving through or historical locations with a million stories to tell, we've got it all.
Our armed forces are top notch. They've got the training, they've got the tech and most importantly, they've got a dedication to protect this country that no other soldier in the world possesses.

This is not really the whole list. It's only a small fragment of it. But, I'd love to complete it or at least make it really long so comment like crazy with your reasons that make you say Pakistan Zindabad.

Till the next post,

Talha A. B.

First impressions; the inside story

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 19:27:00 +0000

For this week's post I’ll be putting down something awfully common in our everyday lives. And like every common we dismiss it rather than delving deeper into origin or logic. So I’ll come straight to the point rather than elongating my preamble as usual. Like the title suggests it’s about impressions. First impressions actually.

To the general public first impressions are what we perceive when we SEE a person for the first time. But little do they realise, it’s more than just an assumption based on physical appearance. THAT is stereotyping. The first impression is a two-fold thing. The first being the initial assumption mentioned above and the second is when you actually get to exchange syllables; a proper tête a tête. It is then that you actually get to form an opinion about someone. Watching someone from a distance and forming an opinion about them might seem unfair but it is human nature to ‘size’ up individuals and categorise them into ‘types’. SO, today we talk about what happens after we approach someone, administering them as our own type. Like Talha A. B informed me the first time you talk to someone it’s all mysterious yet cautious. You actually get to know how successful your stereotyping was. Eventually both of these things will contribute to a first impression ‘grand total’. However, you can still form an authentic impression about someone even if you don’t get to chat; sometimes you just observe how the person in question behaves around everyone else.

If you think this is some lesson on how to make first meetings successful, think again. Though I’ve been told I can make a career out of giving social advice but that’s for another time. Maybe next week we can talk about tried and tested small talk. But for now it is more of a speedy journey from the first time we meet someone till present day and how much we were right or wrong about them. Based on context I’ve donated all possible situations with metaphors. It’s better to call them relationships actually because this here is a journey rather than an abrupt dismissal on first sight. These being ‘The ugly duckling’, ‘Frankenstein’, ‘Smooth surfer’, ‘Rocky road’ and ‘Lukewarm’. I would also like to add that most of these phrases are the work of my creative co-author. (Just in case I make a sociological breakthrough and am later sued :D). Anyway, let’s look at these in turn.

The ‘Ugly Duckling’ is actually a very interesting phenomenon. Don’t be fooled by the name. Always remember that the ugly duckling actually transformed into a swan in the end. That’s how such a relationship works. It starts off a bit strange; a thing or two might put you off but then as you get to know the person well you realise how lame you were to assume. The thing is that everyone in this world has a life different from ours and as we get to know more about theirs its revelations all around. The fact that we are proven wrong by such happenings actually becomes a positive thing. At first we saw differences; now we see similarities. There are countless stories of how people got on each other’s bad side at first but later became the best of friends.

‘Frankenstein’ in the opposite of the above. Just like an apparently useful invention went nuts this is what happens in this relationship. You start off well because you probably had a positive stereotype and impression but as you get to know the person you realise your direction might be inappropriate. Maybe it’s because expectations were high at the beginning and could never be fulfilled. It is like an infatuation that loses its glitter and goes ugly when the initial love-stuck sheen rubs off. What people need to see here are the long term effects of their current doing. Kudos to all those who can get through such a phase though.

Then comes the ‘smooth surfer’. As the name suggests these people are lucky enough to be proven right of their first opinion. In brief; whatever they expected they got, the expectation can be high or low but there’s satisfaction so who cares. They can be friends or couples who are taken as an example of perfection. However, if you ask me perfection can get a bit boring. Ups and downs are essential so we realise what the other person is like in a negative situation. But hey, that’s just what I think. (And apparently ALL those who get involved in infidelities :P). Pessimism apart, a salute to all those who make a spot-on decision and keep the magic going all their lives.

The ‘rocky road’ is well an ice cream flavour I think. It saddens me to use a beauty such as ice cream for such a benefit but I was running out of ideas :P. Anyway these individuals never get along and probably never will. They got on the wrong foot but unfortunately stayed that way. Do NOT even attempt to make something like that work. A co-incidence or a bad mood can prevail once, or twice or thrice if you feel generous but if ALL the time then such a thing is not meant to be, definitely! Just do a 180 and keep walking.

Last of all comes ‘lukewarm’. And just like the name suggests that’s what such a relationship is; lukewarm. This is actually the least important form because either these people are simple acquaintances we get to see once in a while or probably one of those we’re obligated to see once in a while. They are not obligated nor authorised to influence our decisions. The same goes for us. Such an acquaintance is all smiles and civility but nothing deeper. It is always a useful tip to have a few of these lying around; beats loneliness I guess. Back in high school, there were many people I could just go and talk to about general stuff when no one else was around and till this day we’re in contact. However, don’t make it a habit because honestly we all need to delve deep once in a while. Oh by the way, if such a relationship does not consist of mere acquaintances I suggest you add some fuel to the fire.

Personally speaking one of my best friends is someone who sat behind me in class for two years but only got to know each other later and realized how totally compatible we were. Compatible enough that she’s 25% of our followers :D. Of course can’t forget my co-author here. Who knew two people who barely talked to each other despite being classmates would ultimately team up to create the extraordinary, the awesome and the next big thing. Ok I guess I’m getting carried away now; we just love our blog too much. But the point is; we communicated that’s how we got to know each other’s literary insights and very awesome traits. And yeah I just had a “Rocky road” recently; a guy my senior from college whom I got on the wrong foot with (that wasn’t me it was actually the people I hung out with but somehow they’ve all disappeared and I’m the only one he can run into :S). So yeah not only is he intimidating his chain smoking skills will probably give me cancer!

Anyway, that’s a rap I guess. To conclude, all I want to say is, types apart it’s always good to give someone a chance when you’re meeting them for the first time. I mean someone might be having a bad day, a headache, family or peer problems or maybe he/she generally takes time to open up. GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE! And they might give you one too. A CHANCE not high rising expectations or you might do a “Franky” here. (So my mom says). We shouldn’t judge from first impressions but yes we are allowed to think about them. However sometimes, at the end of the day, every little thing you find about someone is something unique and interesting so find away!

Speaking of find; I need to go find a midnight snack. This is Sara Q signing off for now. J

I'm getting too old for this sh**

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 19:59:00 +0000

I still remember all those little memories that make the early years worthy of being called a childhood. Back then it was the simplest of things that made me happy. Things like climbing all over the boundary walls of our house, chasing butterflies and running around on all fours like Simba from the Lion King. These things have something in common. I can't do them anymore. Though I did do the Simba thing just yesterday. I'm kidding. Or am I?

I do remember one other thing. I promised myself I would never grow up. Now you have an idea what I'm talking about. How many times have you heard the older and wiser crowd say something like "I'm getting too old for these things" or "It's not my age to do such things". I always thought that I wouldn't end up like them. That I would always be with "it". However, these days I'm finding that it's really getting hard to fight and not become obsolete. I find myself using the line "I'm getting too old for this sh**" a little too much lately. I really don't want to be a dinosaur. Oh well.

The pop culture these days is beginning to make less sense to me as the days go by. First of all, what the hell is it with all the emo crap thats going around these days? When did androgyny become a style? Seriously, insanely tight jeans (guys, you do know you have to reproduce someday right?), girly hair, and make up? It just doesn't register with me. I'm watching a music video and I think to myself "Hey, this lead singer chick is kinda cute" only to realize, its a dude. Thats just not right. Death to emo. Seriously. I'd rather have the boy-band craze resurrected.

Moving on, the music. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh here, but it's all just the same. Thats it. It's like they have a factory somewhere that just mass produces these generic celebrities and artistes. The material and the attitudes are all recycled. Every time I listen to a track I can't help but spot samples taken from songs of the 90's, 80's and 70's. The subject matter of the songs also seems pointless and shallow to me. The choices available to the artiste of today are:

Parties
Drugs and Violence
Sex (with a great deal of misogyny)
Random pseudo-philosophical crap (which is cool by me)

And again, the mellow (think brit-rock, brit-pop) and emo stuff just irritates me. We were all annoyed by that person, who just walks in the room and goes "Whats that noise? Honestly the music these days.....". I really don't want to be that person, so to all the bands and performers out there, please get your act together and pump out some good music.

The movies of today are also running low on originality. They suffer the same disease. There are way too many re-hashes, remakes, prequels and sequels these days. Special effects and insane action sequences are all good but I'd rather just have a good script. You know, the kind that leaves everyone talking and immersed in debate as they leave the theater. Though not every movie has to be a life changer so its all good. Sometimes a guy just needs to watch a movie with a lot of flash and a huge body count.

The kids these days are also a strange breed. I don't think I need to say much here as Sara Q. already touched on this. I will say this, seeing the things kids today do I can't help but say "Don't these guys have parents?" (Translation: "Oh ****, inn kay maa baap nahi hain?).

This post was supposed to be a bit longer but give me a break, I'm in recovery. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to run around like Simba on all fours. Yay.

Till the next post,

Talha A. B.

P.S. Who can guess which character from which movie uses the line that I have used as my title?

The 50 Most Stylish Leading Men of the Past Half Century

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:20:00 +0000

This is not my weekly post, just a little something I though I'd share :)

The 50 Most Stylish Leading Men of the Past Half Century Style: GQ.com

I tried, I really tried

noreply@blogger.com (Talha) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:08:00 +0000

This weeks post was supposed to be about something else, but something else didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Lately I haven't been able to write the way I usually do. The only way to describe how I write my post is that its completely fluid. I tap away at the keyboard and thoughts turn into words almost instantly. It's all about what I'm feeling at the moment. I haven't felt like myself for quite some time and I don't think thats going to change anytime soon. Writing for this blog seems almost a chore where once it was something that I used to enjoy and look forward too. If you don't believe me ask Sara Q. how much I used to bug her about making her weekly post. This time around, I was struggling to get the words out. I'd spend minutes just staring at the screen, trying to remember what I had to write or trying to remember If I had anything to write at all. What I did manage to type down made no sense at all. It just didn't feel like me and so I just deleted the damn thing.

That brings us to this post. I have no plan for it. I'm just writing whats coming into my head. The reason is that I just want to get this mess out of my mind so that I can move on to the next post. Don't worry, this is not going to be diary or journal entry, though I think some introspection may come into play. We're not going to get into my emotions here. I'll see a psychiatrist for that. Lately, due to the multitude of challenges (read problems) that keep piling on the pressure on me I seem to have become this bitter, vengeful and rage fueled individual (I'm listening to death metal for gods sake. I don't even like metal). Or if you prefer it Sara Q's way, an angry young man. This state of mind comes with the side effect of me always being on edge, ready to explode at any moment. This doesn't really come with any advantages. Unless of course you consider scaring your co-workers and getting on virtually every seniors bad side an advantage.

I won't get into what it is that has got me so worked up, after all, this is not a diary. Actually, I don't know what I'm getting at. Unplanned post remember?

Here's something that I want to ask all of you though (I'm hoping "All of you" is more than the two followers we have as of right now), do you really know where you are in life right now? You have a plan right? You measure how far you've come and how far you have to go by this plan. Did you ever consider what you would do if this plan didn't work out? Or whether this plan is grounded in reality? You follow this plan because it promises some reward at the end. How would you feel if you put in all the hard work, went through all the pain and jumped through all the hoops that were set up for you only to be told that there is no reward?

The point that I'm trying to bring to light is not the one you may be thinking about.

You see, you have to sit down and realize that we are adults now. Now I know you think you're an adult but I'll stop you right there. You think wrong. Once again, we are adults now. Why? Because now we make the decisions. The choice as to where our life goes is up to us. If, again, you think you know all this, you're wrong. You see, we do have the choice, but what we don't know are the consequences. Having the power to choose means that we are blind to the knowledge of what the wrong choice is and what the right choice is. The choices will be made right now but the effects will show five years from now, or ten years from now or throughout our lives. It is only in the future that we will know if our choice was right or wrong. By the way, by "we" I mean those born slightly north or south of 1987.

My plan got royally...... you know. But as the animal inside is slowing down, a certain form of twisted clarity is seeping in. I'm beginning to see what the situation is. Sure, one path is closed but what I have now is opportunity. An opportunity to pick a different direction. So now I stand surrounded by choices, with no idea which one is the right one. This sort of leads into the second point, plans change, roadblocks pop out from nowhere. But at the same time, there is usually a fork in the road. Be prepared to deal with life. There are things that school, college and books can't and didn't teach us. Luckily I like to learn the hard way, I can't speak for anyone else though.

This has to be my worst post to date. At least its out of the way now.

Till the next (hopefully better) post,

Talha A. B.

Organised chaos!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara Q) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:46:00 +0000

This entry was actually supposed to be light and comedic. Instead it’s something else. Can’t specify because don’t know the direction myself. One thing I know though: it’ll be a little shorter this time. Yes, we who are famous for word waterfalls can sometimes be lost for words too. It is when there is too much going about our brains, so much that expressing it in words would result in an overlap. But then again that IS my state of mind now; organized chaos!

I’m sitting in a very ideal position for creativity to flow; surrounded by orange and blue and a quite eye pleasing view outside. It was here, almost a dozen years ago that I came out one morning and exclaimed I’d seen a UFO. See what I mean by creativity and imagination gone berserk. But honestly I DID see something. Anyway, paranormal activities will be discussed some other day. I type as the rest of the family is contemplating where they would like to go to eat fish tonight. As an afterthought; my damn result is coming out tomorrow; around 10 am our time! (The air has changed).

I’m always in denial of the coming out of the result. Avoiding discussions and queries from family and friends about how I did in exams. But finally, one day before it’s as if I have no where to run. It’s on Facebook, it’s on my mobile inbox. It is always on a damn Monday which means weekend pep talks. Every time I run into my parents it’s “so what do you think, you’ll get through right?” My days of living in denial and blissful ignorance are over. I have to face the music. Whatever I put in the oven 2 months ago finally needs to get out and get devoured by the world. And yes that works both ways; it’ll get devoured even if it is totally crappy. I mean half of Islamabad knows it’s coming out and somehow they have supposed that as these were the 2 final papers I’m probably done with education (I’m not). So I should either find a job or find a guy! :S

I have always had a different approach to results. I mean if they suck it’s my fault I get it. But I’m not going to punish myself just because I screwed up. Bad things happen and they happen to everyone. Some people take it really bad; moping around, not touching their food, thinking it’s a sin to laugh out loud or watch TV or knock the life out the computer. I’m not saying I have never been to the dark side because I have. (I think I’m having an ‘emo’ day today :P)

It was somewhere in A’ Levels I guess and I assure you that was an ordeal that temporarily took the life out of me. Not because I wanted to, but because I thought I was expected to. After that experience I realized that just like we need to govern our happiness, the same is with sadness or anger. It is only on that person how he is supposed to mourn. And besides after all that my sadness deposit box took a heavy fall and was non repairable so I just chucked it. Anger is actually a better option. When used in a controlled amount it gets the frenzy out; a minute later your blood cools down and you actually think of a more rational next step. I’m glad though that it was a high school result that made me realise this rather than something bigger and worse. Also that heavy rock music can act as a better brain stimulant than slow and soft numbers.

This seems like an ideal place and situation to share my secret mind weapon; because technically I think more people should learn to use it. It is called the expelling/siphoning of a bad though from the mind. All those who are familiar with Harry Potter must remember how the wizard folk touched the wand to their heads and siphoned off their memories. That’s what you have to do. When something bad happens you can do one of the following: mourn or make it right. If suppose that you don’t have the “making right” authority then you probably won’t get anything out of thinking about it over and over again. Do NOT misinterpret though, this is not a lecture on insensitivity, it’s just an adjustment of the brain dials. You can try the ‘all is well’ theory told of in the “3 idiots” if you like; does seem effective.

The human brain is a chamber. Imagine this transparent cubicle inside the chamber. Totally secure and soundproof. This is where all unpleasant and torturous thoughts should go. They’re locked so you can’t hear them and they won’t bug you from time to time or control your activities. However, you can SEE them which means you haven’t forgotten and you’ll get back to them. The lesson here is not to run from problems, face them but not in a destructive way that you end up destroying your own self. This box is where I trap unpleasant thoughts or memories, only so they don’t roam my brain and suffocate my neurons. It works for all; results, fights with friends or siblings, unfairness of the world, suicide bombings, etc. etc. Call it a hair fall defense too :P (One of the many secrets of Sara Q’s enviable hair:D)

This entry is very journal like I think. And yeah it’s not short, probably because I’m rambling here. It started with result anxiety, had a bit of tragedy in the middle and ends with self-proclaimed philosophy and tried and tested methods. Anyway whatever happens tomorrow I know the direction I have to take. It does not depend on my result because I’m making it happen anyway. Might as well get some beauty sleep before the bomb drops though. Don’t be surprised, this is my own version of pessimistic optimism, need to see both sides of the coin. If you’re prepared it leaves a more decent mark.

All that has been said above applies to all tragedies tragic enough to promise a sleepless night or a sunless day. So knock yourself out. Wish me luck!