Almost Imperfect

The Gateway of India

2009-09-30T23:54:00.001+05:30

The Gateway of India
Originally uploaded by recaptured

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against

2009-09-10T04:10:00.001+05:30

against
Originally uploaded by recaptured

the light.

When I came home, this little friend was sitting peacefully on the gate, monitoring what was going on in the neighbourhood.

It made for a good picture.

My upload for 9/9/9

New ’ome, or is it?

2009-08-21T00:08:00.003+05:30

I did not write about it here, but I have not been able to log in to a Rediff.com account of mine for around a year now.

Funny thing is that Rediff’s support also has not been helpful. When I asked them to help me out, they sent me a questionnaire with questions like which was the last date I accessed the account, which are 5 people I have last written emails to, and sundry other information like that. Now for a personal account, if I did not remember the password, which I am supposed to have remembered, how can I remember such small details which anyways I am not supposed to have memorised? I wrote back to them with whatever I could remember. They did not even show the courtesy to tell me that they won’t do it.

Enough of rants. The matter is that the domain linked to this blog was also controlled through that Rediff account. And since I could not log in, the domain expired. So you will not be able to find this blog at the URL you were reading it earlier on. The blogspot URL has kicked back in action - this blog is now accessible at http://almostimperfect.blogspot.com/. Suits now, doesn’t it?

If you are one of my RSS subscribers, you still can read this. Thank goodness for 3rd party feed burners - http://feeds.feedburner.com/Almost lives on :)

Will I try to buy that domain again? I don’t think so. It was primarily to host my design portfolio and land me a job in a design company or get me design projects. Since I set up the site I have been successful in joining arguably India’s number one design office - Elephant Design, and I am too busy working on exciting projects here to take up any independent design assignments.

Moreover, in a hurry to go online and because of a lack of hep and cool-sounding names, I had registered a kind of a clumsy URL. I used to have a hard time telling people the URL, and then telling them the spelling later (without the ‘e’!). Plus it was also hard telling people why the URL was such when I was writing more about photography, social issues, advertising and the likes, and when the title was in no way reflected in the URL. Now at least the address on the plate matches that on the envelope.

This sudden lapse of the domain also came at a strange time - when I was contemplating going online with another site of mine - one focussing on my photography. And I was thinking of writing there, and of importing this blog there lock, stock and barrel.

Now until the site’s concept, structure and design get ready and until I decide to shift it completely there, the blogspot address will be this blog’s home.

The feed URL stays same :) and that’s another reason you should start using RSS readers.

crystal chandelier

2009-08-06T17:09:00.002+05:30

crystal chandelier
Originally uploaded by recaptured

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Tough luck!

2009-07-23T12:48:00.004+05:30

Despite all your good wishes and support, Ankita and I are out of the Great Driving Challenge.

We made it to top 100 in 5 days of work, connected with so many friends, got to know what our friends think about us when asking them to vote, and when reading the testimonials they wrote for us. Not a bad outcome after all.

Would have loved to be selected and go on the great route we had planned, as a sponsored trip :) Next time maybe.

But the great news is that these guys are through! Cheers Joe & Namrata! Rock it!!

I travel… but am humble

2009-07-22T19:38:00.007+05:30

Ankita writes, and she writes well! Reading what she wrote recently, I cannot bring myself to remember that she was a part of a TV show like MTV Roadies!

Here, I let her take over:

Travel huh? I think people who talk intensely about how much they have travelled and what they have seen, are not the kinds that I can relate to. I am more of the person who would keep her travels to herself, for it is not the world to rejoice on but my own humble self. I am also humble enough to admit that I havent seen the world ten times over. Last week I visited my aunt who lovingly showed me pictures of Australia & USA. She has travelled extensively.With all due respect to her but somehow seeing the pictures I wonder how many people really appreciate or understand what they see. It’s more of a race to have as many pictures & whether you took one at Trafalgar Square or the Opera House. Did you stay in the famous 5-star by the lake or did you eat at the famous place at 5th Avenue? Did you gamble at famous Vegas casinos or did you shop at the Changi airport? I for once wanna thank god that am not in the same league (yes you see the slight hint of humbleness again).

I like to see the trees pass me by. I like to put the passenger seat reclining and lie down looking up & outside the window. You see the trees pass you, the streetlights and the stars(if it’s night). The whole feeling is like you are rotating slowly with the earth.Inch by Inch, day by day, night by night. It’s as if the whole world has stopped but you.I also love to sit at the back of an SUV and watch the colourful neon lights on the road that divide two lanes.Sitting at the back it makes me feel as if my car is leaving behind a blazing trail which others might follow. It’s not like I am Buddha on his path of enlightenment but maybe I am doing my little bit for religion.

Ride ’n’ Rain

2009-07-22T18:05:00.003+05:30

relaxed hawk
Originally uploaded by recaptured

The lazy Sunday afternoon I was spending with the Boat Club Quiz Club in the COEP old canteen was brought back to excitement by Joseph’s proposal, that we go to some place called Tiger Hill. All he knew about it was that it was a hill (duh!) near Kamshet. Monsoons, cameras and a new car was all the bait I needed to come along. But then he bowled me a bouncer - Naren’s ’96 E-class would also join us!

I would have been an idiot if I said no. So I did not :)

A smooth and quick ride on NH4 took us to Kamshet, where we stopped for a quick snack-break, and then asked the restaurant owner for Tiger Hill. He told us it is near Lonavla. So we drove off towards Lonavla.

What we saw on the road then was horrifying! A Corolla Altis had apparently been hit on the back by what seemed to be a humongous vehicle with great force. That force pushed it into the road divider. Both its boot and bonnet were smashed! Thankfully the two people in the car including the person driving it seemed to be safe and unhurt.

This is where Joe got a call from Naren. He had seen a black Cedia cross him in the other direction, and he thought it could be us. Then they exchanged a few words about the Corolla as a reference point, and we met a few hundred metres from the spot of the accident.

We drove back to Kamshet. Turned out that a lane next to the place we snacked at led to the Hill. So much for asking directions from locals!

The road up to the Hill seemed to be okay. We kept wondering why Naren would describe it the way he did. Then we came to know. There was a detour from the road we were driving on, which was barely six feet wide. And this detour would have been done last a year ago maybe. And due to the rains it was kinda loose. Now we knew why he said that once you are on, you can’t reverse.

Since we were already some 50metres into this “road”, the only way to go was forward. So we did.

A narrow road with steep inclines, punctuated by expanses of flattish land with lots of grass, as you can see in the photograph, continued. On the way Naren gave up, his wiper was not working, and it would not be possible on such a road to get down and wipe the glass at any point.

We spent some time discussing whether we go ahead - both the cars, whether we turn back - both the cars, or we go ahead - with all of us in the Cedia and the Merc standing where it was. Finally Naren decided to park his car with two of its wheels on the road, and we loaded all six of us in the Black Hawk.

The Black Hawk rose to the challenge and carried all six of us forward, until at a point the incline became too steep, and we smelled its clutch burning! Four of the people in the car - the entire back crew - decided to trek to the top, while Joe and I stayed in the car and drove it to the top.

A Thunderbird, a Pulsar 220 and a Scorpio were already parked at the top. The view was amazing! There was a trek that went further up, but we decided to stay where we reached, while Girish decided to go up.

There was also a trek that went down - beyond the railing, on to a neighbouring hillock. Our four companions went that way, while we stayed back to admire the car and shoot it from every angle and perspective we could think of - wide angles, closeups, macros, high-hat, top view, sides, front, back. Apparently the spot down there on the hillock was amazingly windy. So the buggers stayed there until the sun went down.

Joseph was getting impatient, because he had burnt his clutch and also because in the dark the road would be tougher to drive on. So we pushed off without our passengers, albeit at a slower pace, and asked them to come trekking down to meet us.

We reached the parked Merc, divided the ‘load’ between the two cars equally, and started off back home. On getting to the proper road, Naren stopped again. His awesome wipers had now jammed in one place. One could not move them even by hand! After some time fiddling with the fusebox and connections, he gave up and concentrated instead on getting a test-drive of the Black Hawk.

So Naren and Joe went off on a drive in the Cedia, while I went mad clicking the Mercedes - especially the three-pointed star.

They came back, and we split ways — one car to Pune, one to Mumbai.

On the way back, we found a place called Urban Spice. It looked good, so we went in, and ordered. The food was good too.

And from there, I took over the Black Hawk. I drove back till Wakad. It’s such a smooth car! Feels just the way it looks - powerful yet refined.

My flickr stream has not seen so many uploads in so few days since I guess I had discovered the cheap kit-lens macro method.

At the end of the day...

2009-07-22T13:10:00.008+05:30

At the end of the day...
...a photographer will always wonder if he could have shot that one particular shot differently.

Or in this case, he'll just fit his lenscap on his Nikon, take a sip of his rum and look up at the sky and wonder if there is such a thing as the purpose of the universe.

Ladies and gentleman, Amit Sharma. His photos will surely not make you wonder if you could have shot that shot differently but you'll simply wish that you'd taken that damn shot yourself.

Shot at the end of the shoot on Sunday, somewhere near the first toll gate on NH4.
Originally uploaded by d_payne

Wow!
A photographer like Joseph would appreciate me thus. That’s the day :)

Thanks Joe!

And by the way, both Joseph & Namrata, and Ankita & I have qualified for the top 100 in The Mitsubishi Cedia Great Driving Challenge. They are the third I in Mitsubishi, and we are the C in Challenge. Now looking forward to the next set of results.

The Updated Great Driving Route

2009-07-20T23:45:00.006+05:30

It is the route that touches the three seas that surround India. The highlight of the route is Kanyakumari, where we will see all the three, the Indian Ocean, the Arabian Sea and the Bay of Bengal together. Then there is the Bay of Bengal at Pondicherry, the ruins of Hampi, scenic Coorg, the Arabian Sea all through the Konkan coastline and a short and sweet day spent at Goa.

There is no change over the last route we posted. It has only been fleshed out a little and a few errors corrected.

Day 1
Start: Mumbai

To: Murud
A striking beach, and the commanding fortress of Janjira, which is simply India’s most spectacular island fort. But we wouldn’t be stopping here beyond a couple of hours plus the time needed for us to ferry to the fort and back. Because we have to get further

To: Chiplun
Night halt

Day 2
To: Mapusa
For a short & customary stopover at Goa, and a night halt at Madgaon.

Day 3
To: Gokarna
Gokarna - or the cow’s ear, is a small low-key village, with temples and beaches, the best beaches being those reached via a footpath that begins on the southern side of its Ganpati temple.

Day 4
A day well-spent negotiating the roads of the Konkan Ghat, getting us to Mangalore, where we explore the city and then stay for the night.

Day 5
To: Coorg
Coorg, or Kodagu, is known for its cool climate, winding roads, rambling over forested hills and past spice and coffee plantations. There are some forts, temples, and a waterfall to see apart from the breathtaking natural beauty.

To: Kunnur
It may be a small and unexciting town otherwise, but there is Kerala’s most popular ritualistic art form, theyyam that belongs to this place. Apart from that there is a Portuguese built St. Angelo Fort, built of brilliantly red laterite stone, and gives excellent views of the surrounding beaches.

To: Kozhikode
The port where Vasco Da Gama landed in 1498, while on the voyage to find the sea-route to India. There is not much to see as a tourist, but is a good place to take a break, which is exactly what we plan to do here.

Day 6
To: Ernakulam
It’s next to Fort Cochin, another laid back town, famous for its port.

To: Kollam
A quaint little town, which is also an entrance to the Backwaters

Day 7
To: Kanyakumari
Imagine a place where you can see India’s three big surrounding water bodies meet! The place where land ends!
Kanyakumari is the “Land’s End” of the Indian subcontinent. Here the Indian Ocean, the Bay of Bengal and the Arabian Sea meet. Among other things to see is the Vivekananda Memorial, where Swami Vivekananda had meditated in 1892 before becoming an icon to the Indian/Hindu public.

To: Sivakasi
From Kanyakumari we move off to Sivakasi and spend the night in the house of fireworks in India.

Day 8
To: Madurai
Madurai - the home of the Meenakshi Temple. According to ancient documents, this city is 2400 years old, and was an important trade hub, especially for spices. You can imagine us photographers going mad photographing the temple, and the local people.

From here we push off towards Chidambaram for a night halt.

Day 9
To: Pondicherry
Pondicherry is the pocket of French culture and architecture in India. Apart from its calm and relaxed lifestyle and French connections, it is famous for the Auroville - the ashram of Maharishi Aurobindo.

The road towards Hampi would take us to Tannakallu, where we plan to stop for the night.

Day 10
To: Hampi
Glorious Hampi! The fascinating ruins of 15th century Vijayanagar make this place famous. In the legends of Ramayana, this place was called Kishkindha, the place where the monkey gods lived.

To: Sholapur
With 10 days well spent, we stay for the night in the small town of Sholapur.

Day 11
To: Mumbai
The beautiful drive back to Mumbai will be through Baramati, Pune, Lonavla and Khandala.

The Great Driving Route

2009-07-17T11:44:00.007+05:30

Edit: Check out the updated route please.

The wait is over! Finally unveiling the route Ankita and I intend to travel for the Great Driving Challenge.

You can see this as a map on Google Maps. And if you like what we have planned, please take some time to vote for us. Only 10 hours remain as I write this.

From: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

To: Murud, Maharashtra, India - 143km
A striking beach, and the commanding fortress of Janjira, which is simply India’s most spectacular island fort.

To: Chiplun, Maharashtra, India - 176km
Night halt

To: Mapusa, Goa, India - 290km
Short & customary stopover at Goa

To: Gokarna, Karnataka, India - 298km
Gokarna - or the cow’s ear, is a small low-key village, with temples and beaches, the best beaches being those reached via a footpath that begins on the southern side of its Ganpati temple.

To: Coorg, Karnataka, India - 472km with a night halt in between
Coorg, or Kodagu, is known for its cool climate, winding roads, rambling over forested hills and past spice and coffee plantations. There are some forts, temples, and a waterfall to see apart from the breathtaking natural beauty.

To: Kannur - 111km
It may be a small and unexciting town otherwise, but there is Kerala’s most popular ritualistic art form, theyyam that belongs to this place. Apart from that there is a Portuguese built St. Angelo Fort, built of brilliantly red laterite stone, and gives excellent views of the surrounding beaches.

To: Ernakulam - 284km
It’s next to Fort Cochin, a laid back town, famous for its port. Night halt here.

To: Trivandrum - 211km
The capital of Kerala. Short stopover before moving towards Kanyakumari

To: Kanyakumari, Tamil Nadu, India - 89km
Kanyakumari is the “Land’s End” of the Indian subcontinent. Here the Indian Ocean, the Bay of Bengal and the Arabian Sea meet. Among other things to see is the Vivekananda Memorial, where Swami Vivekananda had meditated in 1892 before becoming an icon to the Indian/Hindu public.

To: Madurai, Tamil Nadu, India - 249km
Madurai - the home of the Meenakshi Temple. According to ancient documents, this city is 2400 years old, and was an important trade hub, especially for spices.

To: Pondicherry, Pondicherry, India - 337km
Pondicherry is the pocket of French culture and architecture in India. Apart from its calm and relaxed lifestyle and French connections, it is famous for the Auroville - the ashram of Maharishi Aurobindo.

To: Hampi, Karnataka, India - 618km with a night halt in between
The fascinating ruins of 15th century Vijayanagar make this place famous. In the legends of Ramayana, this place was called Kishkindha, the place where the monkey gods lived.

Back To: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India - 717km with a night halt in between (Sholapur maybe)

When Distance Shrank To Fit A Day

2009-07-15T01:09:00.014+05:30

It was 8 in the morning, once again, and I was ready with all gear. The saddlebags on the rear seat, the turtlebag on the tank, knee-guards on the knees, elbow-guards on the elbows over the jacket sleeve, gloves and a helmet. The only difference was that this time it was an elephantine distance that was awaiting me. The last time I had done this stretch, it was in one and a half days’ time in the opposite direction. I was leaving my friend’s place in Bangalore, and needed to reach Pune the same day. Armed with confidence, but still doubtful of my and the bike’s abilities to conquer the task at hand, I hit the road. The odometer read 16708. This was my first time in Bangalore in some 15 years’ time, and the first time ever that I was driving there. The roads all seemed to look the same (though they do look beautiful and spacious), and every turn seemed to take me both towards and away from the destination at the same time.

While negotiating the early-morning rush-to-office/school traffic while still very much on the city roads, I started remembering the previous day’s journey - the 36 hairpin bends, the elephant cub and the deer on the roadside in Bandipur, the beautiful vista that the trees presented me with in the forest reserves, and then the mostly uneventful journey after leaving Bandipur. Anyways, I got to touch NH4 by around 9.30am, and hit reserve at 10.15. I had travelled 90km since morning. After refuelling, I set off again.

While I was having a discussion with Anjani the previous night, he had told me that the awesome rocks that I had seen near Ramnagar while coming to Bangalore marked the spots where Sholay had been shot. The road after Bangalore also had such stones & small hillocks. You could just imagine Gabbar Singh convening a board meeting of his executive team amongst those big imposing rocks, and asking his Company Secretary Mr. Sambha for his market evaluation as pegged by the government.

After a 50minute long brunch break (heavy eating to avoid stopping again during the afternoon) at one of the Vithal Kamat’s on the highway, it was time to go again. But before that I had to answer a few questions the attendant there had for me — the usual, where are you coming from, where to, why, how many, what is it, aren’t you brave, aren’ you mad. So while the odometer was showing 16868, I took off again.

Long stretches started disappearing behind me, and the sun kept shining. In January, the heat was scorching — such is the Deccan terrain in Karnataka.

The prime concern for me was the time I was doing. I wanted to maintain an average speed of 80kmph, otherwise reaching Pune the same day would have been impossible. To maintain that average speed one has to ride for stretches at speeds of 110 and above for a good amount of time. Not that it caused any stress to my 350cc engine, but it does show on mileage. And however much we Bulleteers like to say that mileage does not matter for us, fact is that when you are doing such a stretch, keeping a tab on mileage and the amount of fuel left in the tank is critical, especially when the petrol pumps are so few and far between. And to top it, there are even fewer petrol pumps who accept credit cards as a mode of payment. My mental powers were thus spent calculating the distance covered, the time spent, the amount of fuel remaining and my immediate cash and otherwise purchasing power.

If you do a simple calculation, my bike at such running conditions was returning around 25kmpl, which means that the approximate distance that was planned for the day would burn 32litres of petrol. Now my tank holds 14litres including reserve, which meand refuelling at least thrice during the day. And everytime it had to be full-tank. I was hardly carrying any cash, and as far as I have seen there are no ATMs on the NH4 between Bangalore and Pune. So the only way I had to refuel was by card. But I was not so lucky. Only once did I get a petrol pump which accepted my credit card. And that too was after roaming around in the fringes of Hubbali. While looking for the pump, I was caught by a local traffic cop wearing the supercool shiny white cowboy hat which is part of the Karnataka police uniform, who among other questions also asked me if I had paid Karnataka road tax! Imagine a biker with a Jharkhand licence plate, telling him he is coming from Ooty in Tamil Nadu and reaching Pune in Maharashtra at the end of the day, and he wants to know if I have paid Karnataka road tax! I guess there are similar policemen everywhere. Anyways, he was convinced in some time and in fact helped me with directions to the pump, and I got to refuel and leave the town.

The other two times I refuelled, my precious cash reserves were drained. In fact, at sundown all I had in my pocket was a measly Rs. 60.50. That, combined with the fatigue, hunger and the increasing realisation that I was not doing good time, which would mean reaching Pune very late, were tiring me out.

By 6.30 in the evening, I was nearing Kolhapur. That seemed to put some hope in my heart. Home was near. One part of me wanted to just pull the throttle all the way and be done with the journey. But then the pangs of hunger got the better of me, and I pulled over at the McDonald’s just before Kolhapur at 6.45.

There I met a fellow Bulleteer who was also returning from Ooty. It was Satya from Inddiethumpers, with a friend of his, who also belonged to that club. After the general introductions, we went our way towards our respective menus. Remember I told you about my fiscal condition earlier? It had not improved, but thankfully it was just enough to afford me a McVeggie burger and a cola float. Surprisingly a glass of cola is more expensive than a cola float at McD’s! Anyway, after having my fill and recharging my mobile phone in their kitchen, I checked the odometer. It read 17355. Total distance since morning — 647km.

For most people, and even for me on most days, that would be a distance worthy of 2 days’ riding. But there was a long way to go. I still wasn’t home. And I had to reach office the next day morning :-)

At 7.10pm I started off from the McDonald’s with darkness fast approaching me. Soon after I crossed Kolhapur, it started getting dark.

After I crossed Satara, fatigue became more demanding. But I decided not to stop. Not a very good idea, I will say. A couple of times I was so tired, I could not see the approaching road-divider that I would have hit (at a speed of around 100kmph!) had I not swerved nearly at the last moment.

When it was post 9.30 at night, the journey started becoming unbearable. It was dark, the traffic was as bad as it is usually between Satara and Pune, the weight and feel of the gear on my limbs were close to irritating now. When I finally hit the viaduct, it felt like I have almost reached, but still the journey seemed liked it would never end.

Non-stop riding for three and a half hours reached me home, where the only thing I looked forward to was a hot water bath, and something to eat!

Thankfully my flatmate Girish was kind enough to quickly cook khichdi for me, even though he had had dinner outside. And I was not able to sit on the floor without a cushion (remember Saif Ali Khan from Dil Chahta Hai?). Funny eh?

When I parked the Bird at home, her odometer read 17593. 885km in 13 hours! 885km in one day! Bangalore to Pune in one day!

Girish, on hearing that I had left Bangalore only at 9 in the morning, had only one thing to ask me — “Were you chasing a Volvo from there? 14 hours is what a Volvo takes from Bangalore to Pune!”.

--

Edit: Though it would not entail covering over 800km in a day, the Great Driving Challenge would mean lots of fun and adventure for 12 days. And to make this a reality, I need your votes and testimonials. Please vote for Ankita and Me. Thanks.

Ride Wet

2009-07-11T18:58:00.007+05:30

One has got to ride on the NH4 when it’s raining this heavily, atleast once!

The wet roads, the green surroundings, the fog, the constant prick of rain drops on the face, and the wet and squeaky shoes, low visibility, the constant worry about the contents of the saddlebag getting wet - all of this adds to an experience that is unforgettable.

The NH4 before it rained
Originally uploaded by recaptured

Yes that is exactly what the bloke would tell you, who leaves home when it’s overcast, on the way gets drenched to the bone, and takes five hours to complete a journey which he, with a good amount of pride, usually finishes in two and a half hours, and does not want you to think he’s miserable.

A trip that I had planned for 6AM today started at 8. Whom can I blame for the delay when the whole convoy consisted of only yours truly?

Anyway, the point is that Lonavla, Khandala and the Ghats look and feel breathtaking when it rains. When you are negotiating the hilly roads of Khandala Ghat in this weather, you can hardly see anything but the one vehicle ahead of you, and only because they have put their tail lamps on at 11am!

Apart from the awesome scenic ghats, it was the breakfast I had at Amber Garden a little before Lonavla that kept me going. Well, I waited there for over an hour, clicking the clouds, the water and the flies. And when I decided to move because the downpour seemed to be waning, it poured like there was no tomorrow shortly after.

Next time, got to waterproof everything when going on a ride.

Savita Bhabhi banned

2009-07-02T16:53:00.006+05:30

The Indian government has banned Savita Bhabhi. When you read through the article, look at the following lines:

One of them, Bangalore-based N. Vijayashankar, who describes himself as a “techno-legal information security consultant”, waged a sustained campaign against Savitabhabhi, complaining to the government’s Computer Emergency Response Team (CERT-IN) as well as the Director General of Police in Karnataka in October last year.

And then

“Cartoons are a more participative medium. Videos don’t do as much damage. When a child is watching a cartoon, he imagines himself as the character. This has a deeply corrupting influence on our youngsters. This, apart from the fact that an Indian name was being used in such an obscene cartoon, is what led me to make the complaint,” Vijayashankar said. “A child will see a Savitabhabhi among his relatives.”

So apparently, videos don’t do as much damage as cartoons would do. Which is why kids watching pianos falling on cats in cartoon strips go around dropping pianos on cats, while kids jumping off tall buildings because their (non-cartoon) superhero does that on television is a problem that does not exist.

I don’t understand how anyone would imagine himself to be a character in a still cartoon frame, but will not in a live video containing real human beings.

But the best part is that Vijayashankar is upset because Savita Bhabhi has an Indian name. What if her name was Susan Bhabhi, or Cindy Bhabhi? I guess that would have been okay. I shudder to think what the reactions would be if her name was Shakeela Bhabhi.

And then the icing on the cake is the argument that the child will see a Savita Bhabhi amongst his relatives!

Funny part:

When asked if there was any scientific basis to his thesis that pornographic cartoons did more damage to young people than pornographic videos, he said that was his own psychological interpretation. (Vijayashankar has no training in psychology.)

Don’t you think Vijayashankar should also wage a sustained campaign against Kamasutra and getting it banned in India. How could they show lewd graphical sexual content and package it with an Indian sounding name? He should travel back in time and sue the creators of Kamasutra for corrupting the minds of Indian children.

Even more hilarious is the observation I read elsewhere, that the “concerned parents” who have complained against Savita Bhabhi, would rather go to all these government bodies and get the site banned, but are not aware or are too lazy to use cybernanny software on their computers so that their children are not able to access any kind of porn, not just Savita Bhabhi. Such faith on the system! And the administration, which otherwise is superslow in matters like providing us with roads, water and electricity, takes instant action on such complaints.

Any chance that these are the same kind of people who would advocate banning jeans in colleges to prevent rapes? See the double standards?

July 2009: scale new heights

2009-07-01T14:07:00.002+05:30

scale new heights
Originally uploaded by recaptured
Calendarized widescreen wallpaper

Dress control

2009-06-23T23:09:00.005+05:30

UP colleges to ban jeans, set dress code. The people behind this think this will help ‘strengthen discipline’ and check display of ‘indecent clothes’ worn by some of the college students.

If some students are wearing indecent clothes, you can outlaw indecent clothing. Why target jeans - which covers legs? How does jeans become ‘indecent clothing’? Is it because men get dirty thoughts when they see a girl wearing jeans? Some people get more turned on by seeing a woman dressed in saree. So would they demand that women not be allowed to wear sarees?

The other argument is that this will prevent rapes from happening. So this puts the blame for rape on the women themselves - dress stylishly and we will rape you. Oh wait, we won‘t rape you, but somebody else will, and I would not bother with controlling that other person. We would rather control the women and how they dress.

Not much different from the approach religious authorities take towards women - dress modestly, and you will be saved from being raped.

On the other hand, Nicholas Sarkozy’s stand of banning burkhas in France is also a similar decision, though in the other direction. When will the people in power give up the illusion that they can and need to dictate what choices people can make in their own personal space? Why can’t the principals of UP understand that the problems of eve-teasing and rapes etc is a product of a sick mentality arising out of too much control and why can’t Sarkozy treat the burkha as another piece of clothing, and respect the choice of women who want to wear it without coercion?

Why copy (and why lie about it)?

2009-06-19T23:35:00.005+05:30

Read this (courtesy afaqs!).

Right. The creative director of an agency working for Honda Siel is not aware of arguably the most popular words of arguably the most impactful movie of last year (one that displaced even The Godfather from IMDB’s alltime #1 for a few days!) spoken by one of the most appreciated characters of popular fiction played by arguably the most admired actor last year. If we are to believe Mr. Hola, there was no one around him to remind him that ‘Why so serious?’ would invariably be connected to the Joker - not the people at Meridian (creative people I presume - that don’t watch blockbuster movies), not the people at Honda Siel.

Yes we believe you. The ‘similarity’ between your tagline and the Joker’s refrain is “totally coincidental”.

Funny thing is that the line ‘why so serious?’ does not have any connection with the alleged brief (that the article mentions) of breaking down the hierarchy in the car segment (of SUVs and hatchbacks), or of positioning the Jazz as a car in a ‘league of its own’. Why would you use the line then if it doesn‘t connect with your brief? There can only be one reason then - to cash in on the buzz that line generated very recently.

Of course the Honda Siel and Meridian people have never read, watched or heard of the Joker or maybe even Batman :-)

Fantasies can crash?

2009-06-19T17:14:00.007+05:30

If Microsoft made cars, goes the story. And it’s been ringing true for so long.

I was reminded of this story, because I saw a web ad for MS’s masterpiece browser Internet Explorer 8 today. The storyline of the ad goes thus: a lissome damsel in a frock is busy eating a sandwich in such an engrossed manner that would remind you of good ol’ Liv Tyler, while our hero is busy watching her from a distance. In the midst of this, we see the worried hero trying to look around an insurmountable obstacle, followed by the text “Fantasies can crash”. And then we see a rather rotund gentleman just standing between the two, while all we and our hero can see is his posterior. Then the hero starts making faces, from which I can only guess that the rotund gentleman has just performed an act with his posterior which causes considerable noise & air pollution.

We then see the Vista-esque dialog box asking whether you want to restore your last session or go to your homepage. And then we are informed about the groundbreaking new innovation in the new IE8 - Automatic Crash Recovery (where is the ™ guys?)!!! Of course now you are dying to use the new & improved IE8 right? With this automatic crash recovery feature that was not present so far in the IE, IE is now complete and can take on the other browsers like Firefox, Opera, Safari and Chrome, which anyways used to restore crashed browsing sessions (they can even save sessions when you are closing the window, if you preferred). Heck, even MS’s Office software do a half-decent amount of crash recovery.

But the best part of the ad is the sort of self-aware admission that “Fantasies can crash”. Refreshing to see MS admitting in their promotion itself that their software crashes, and we have to just live with it. But look at the new shiny feature — Automatic Crash Recovery! Don’t you just love the IE, now that it can restore your session after crashing it? Make it more stable and reduce crashes you said? No sir, can’t do. We’d much rather advertise the most irritating thing we can show you — our crash screen telling you that your browser crashed last time you opened it.

Coming back to cars, wonder if cars advertised like this. ”Your car can crash or break down, but look at this feature — it puts you back on the road you were going on (after 3 months in the hospital or garage maybe)”. Do you want to advertise that your product does not fail (or that you have made efforts to prevent it from failing), or do you advertise that your product can fail, there’s nothing wrong with it, just look what we have added — it remembers what you were doing when it failed.

And then there is the copy — “Let’s you start from where you had stopped”. Weren’t copywriters supposed to be good at language? But then maybe in the new age of freestyle apostrophe usage, I am a purist.

Seamless?

2009-06-13T18:58:00.005+05:30

When an Idea customer dials 12345 from their phone, an exceptionally chirpy female voice tells them that they can “now stay connected while in roaming with Idea seamless coverage”. Of course you can. Ok, no sarcasm.

Problem began when I noticed that whenever I come to Bombay, I am unable to send text messages. In technical parlance, outgoing SMS is not working. Different days that I have come here. Different handsets. Different places in Bombay. No sir, can’t go. And lately, my GPRS connection also refuses to work when in Bombay.

How to solve it then? Call someone for help. Who else but Idea helpline? So I do. I dial 12345. I am greeted with the exceptionally chirpy female voice mentioned above, telling me about the alleged “seamless connectivity”, and then some human being talks to me. The moment I tell them my number and that I am coming from Pune, they respond as if I am a stepchild. How can Mumbai executives be expected to listen to Pune customers? Everytime I call, I am told that I need to call the Pune helpline at 9822012345. Other than that they cannot help me in any way, because procedures do not allow them to help me. These people hung up on me mid-sentence twice. Some customer “service”.

9822012345 is another story. The moment I dial it, select the language, tell the system that I am an Idea Maharashtra customer AND dial my phone number (in this day and age of CLI machines at homes!), I am presented a menu that is definitely a prepaid customer’s menu. Why would a postpaid customer be bothered with recharge options? The menu comprises of 4 options only, like PUK, value-added services, recharge options etc. but never did I hear a “to talk to a customer care executive…”. Once by fluke I got to talk to a human being on this number, and all he could help me with was “Sir please try again after some time, it will definitely go. If not, then try a different handset, it will definitely go.”, 5 times when I told him I did not think it would work. The second time I got to talk to someone, again by the rare coming together of five of the eight planets in one line, he politely tells me that he is a prepaid customer care executive and that I need to dial 9822012345 to reach a postpaid customer care executive! If you were not paying attention so far, that was the number where I reached this gentleman in the first place. He could not help me because he was a prepaid Pune executive, while I was a postpaid Pune customer. Wow!

Idea keeps telling us about “seamless connectivity”, while there are silos in their customer service setup. One area’s executive cannot help a customer from another area. One department’s executive cannot help a customer subscribing to another department. Let alone help me, they cannot transfer my line to the concerned persons!

Wonder when companies would really honour their marketing claims, and when customer care people would really care about customer’s problems and concerns.

Widest? Really?

2009-06-10T11:58:00.007+05:30

If you have seen or been to a Dosa Plaza restaurant anywhere, you must have seen their tagline “The world’s widest menu in dosas™”.

And if you have been in Dhanbad for more than a day, you surely must have seen the restaurant Waikiki at Bank More.

How are they related, you might ask?

Well, if you have eaten at Waikiki, which by the way is an excellent up-market restaurant, you would know what the link is. Waikiki’s menu runs in pages — I would guess more than twenty pages — and it’s filled with dosas for most of it. Last I counted they had 140 different types of dosas.

And Dosa Plaza themselves claim to have 104 different types of dosas in their menu. Can they claim to have the world’s widest menu in dosas when there clearly is at least another place where you get a wider range?

Dosa Plaza’s claim also carries a ™ sign — which means that they have registered it as a trade mark. All this raised a few questions for me:

Can one trade mark a phrase, which is a claim?
While registering a claim as a trade mark, do the authorities check the validity of the claim?
Is it ethical for Dosa Plaza to make such a claim, AND trade mark it, when it is clearly false?
If Waikiki now decides to contest that claim and wants to trade mark this claim themselves, will they be able to?

Any trade mark lawyers/experts here?

Idli anyone?

2009-06-05T15:39:00.004+05:30

Yesterday was another day of gastronomic exploration for me.

My friends took me to a place called Simply Idlicious in Aundh. This is another small but tasty place, where you get good authentic ethnic food for cheap. Idlis, dosas, set dosas, curd-rice were the more mainstream south Indian dishes that you can get there. Scratch beneath the surface and there is a good range. Even the coffee tasted like authentic south Indian ‘kaapi’. Though I did not like the idli (but my friends swear by it, calling even Vaishali’s idlis useless in comparison), the rest of the dishes were yummy. Do give it a try if you are in the neighbourhood.

It is located behind the Cafe Coffee Day in Aundh, the one opposite Shivsagar.

Fast & Slick June!

2009-06-01T12:44:00.002+05:30

Wasn’t just Gilchrist?

2009-05-29T14:07:00.006+05:30

While millions of cricket lovers were rejoicing the Deccan Chargers’ win last Sunday, little did they know that their joy is not really due to Adam Gilchrist, or any of the other 10 Hyderabad players, but the “real reason” DC won is because of “water flowing in front of [Deccan Chronicle’s shops & offices]”.

Says who? Says Business Standard. Or someone who has just posted there. I can’t see any name (of a writer or a reader who might have posted this as an opinion). Just that it is under “Opinions & Analysis”. “[T]hose who know these things” they say…. Can anyone tell me what these “things” are? Is the writer of the piece so afraid to bring up names like “Vaastu” and “Feng Shui”, lest they be labelled as un-modern?

Feeling WTF? Of course I am. Last I checked, Business Standard was a business periodical, not an occult evangelist magazine.

--

Update:
Thank you Pallavi for enlightening me about the “Chinese Whispers” column in Business Standard, which is a satirical piece in the otherwise serious business daily. I’m sorry if anyone from BS or its readers/fans were upset with what I wrote. But then, there is one observation about the web version of the paper. The page’s contents do come across as genuine, and to read them as satire, one needs to be a Business Standard regular. Maybe something can be done there so people like me are not misled into believing that the paper actually endorses the views on the page.

Dry day?

2009-05-16T22:31:00.001+05:30

Can someone explain to me what is the idea of enforcing a dry day?

And what is the idea of enforcing a dry day because election results are being announced? Are the government afraid that people would get drunk and change the results?

Bong food next

2009-05-05T17:22:00.002+05:30

After the homesick Biharis, it’s the turn of Bengalis.

Just behind the Sweet Chariot off Ferguson College Road is a small quaint eatery called Bay of Bengal. It is not an airconditioned fancy place, but it serves amazing Bengali food, right from veg shukto to Ilish maachh preparations. And it is not too expensive either — I had actually thought I could order the entire menu and still not overshoot my daily budget!

And the ambience is quite like a small Calcutta joint.

Litti chokha!

2009-04-30T21:20:00.001+05:30

Are you a Bihari in Pune who is feeling homesick? Or are you a non-Bihari who wonders what delicacies Biharis have to flaunt? If either is the case the place to go is Anandnagar on Paud Road, Kothrud.

Over here in a shop called Litti Chokha you get awesome litti chokha. I just finished a plate and a half myself!

Here’s a picture to show you what it looks like: