Almost Daily Journal

Now Broadcasting From My iPhone... For Today Anyway

2009-03-31T16:56:00.002-05:00

So yes, I now have an iPhone. The black, 16GB, 3G version to be exact. And yes I am enjoying it very much but I do miss my Verizon service :(

Anyway, I felt that I needed to have an updated post becuase some interesting things have happened recently. I suppose I'll start with the older news first.

My old roommate and I are friends again and we actually get along better than we did before we were roommates. He lives up in Lewisville now with some other friends of his which I am also becoming friends with because of how much time I have been spending up there. We went to Six Flags 2 weeks ago with a few of his roommates and had a lot of fun. He's also gotten me back into playing WoW again (I know, I'm a nerd). So things with friends are going pretty good lately.

Something else kinda interesting happened last night too. I received an IM from Carmen after not hearing from her for a couple months. I know, I was surprised too. She had some interesting news. She mentioned something about a baby and when I questioned her about the baby, she said "oh, I thought you knew. I'm pregnant." I was really surprised. Maybe I shouldn't have been, but the fact that her and her soon to be ex-husband have been having marital trouble since January is why I was surprised. Now for some reason after she told me that she was pregnant I was really turned off by her, but I can't put my finger on exactly why. Anyway, I congratulated her for the baby and then said that I was tired and going to bed. I just didn't really feel like talking to her anymore. I really didn't go to bed though. Instead I was up thinking about how/why I could love someone like that. I can honestly say now that I definitely don't have the same feelings for her that I once did.

Well, my battery is at 20% now. I suppose I should finish this post up and get to my charger.

Until next time.

Geolocate this post.

Posted with LifeCast

1 Month...

2008-10-20T20:10:00.005-05:00

Wow. It has almost been one whole month since my last post. It is entirely because of my laziness, if you hadn't guessed that already. Since there has been such a big gap since my last post, I am not exactly sure what to write about. I suppose I could give a quick run down of what I have been up to and maybe highlight a few things. Yeah, I'll do that.

First things first, if anyone has been wondering, I did get a cat. She was 4 months old when I got her and she is a Domestic Short Hair Tabby and her name is Roxy. She is very playful and likes to chase flies. That same week was the week that I started back at school.

I am only taking 7 credits this semester because that is all I need to get my diploma. My classes are physical education, American literature, government and introduction to digital media. So the semester shouldn't be too difficult. So far I an doing decent. I have about a B average in my classes except for my digital media class where I have an A average.

I have also bought a new rc car. This time it's a 1/18th scale buggy from DuraTrax called the Vendetta. It is pretty quick for how small it is but I still want it faster. I have already bought a better battery for it, 7.4V 1500mAh, and am looking into getting a new electronic speed control and motor from Castle Creations. For my other car, I installed a new 1st gear in the transmission along with another set of wheels and tires.

What else...

I am now a member of 24 Hour Fitness and go to the gym to workout three times a week after I get off work. I have been doing that for about a month and haven't lost a pound. Instead I have gained about 7 to a total of ~182 pounds. One of my goals by doing this was to get my weight back down to about 165 by my birthday which is turning into quite a challenge that I may not be able to accomplish.

More recently I went to the Hot Import Nights Car Show at the Dallas Convention Center. Even though I went by myself, I still had a great time. There were a lot of very nice cars (Supra's, M3's, NSX's, Evo's, etc.) and some very nice girls too. I took about 160 pictures, some video and bought a couple of things while I was there. I don't have the video uploaded anywhere yet but my pictures are up on both my Flickr and Picasa pages.

And this past weekend was also very fun too. On Friday I left work early to go to the House Of Blues in Dallas for a concert. I took my brother with me and we saw The Ting Tings (funny name, great artist). We both only knew of two songs of theirs but after the concert, because they were so good (better than Cute Is What We Aim For concert), we liked them all. So I bought their cd, We Started Nothing, and have been listening to it like crazy. Then on Saturday I drove out to Grand Prairie to Lone Star Park for the Suzuki Ride and Drive event. I was very surprised when I got there because I was expecting it to be very busy and crowded. Because it wasn't busy at all, I was able to get started right away on my driving. I had the opportunity to drive the XL.7, Grand Vitara and both the SX4 Crossover and SX4 Sport. The event consisted of three courses where you were able to drive the cars and see how they performed under more intense conditions. The guys there were so cool that one of them even took the time to teach me how to drive a manual transmission. Overall, I really enjoyed the whole thing. Plus they had some free stuff for me; a hat, bag, tire pressure gauge and of course a catalog of Suzuki's vehicles. The best part about it was that it was absolutely free.

Well, I guess that's the gist of what has been going on lately. Still, I am very sorry about no posts. I am going to go with the excuse that school work is getting in the way. Oh, and so is Wii Sports... yes, I also bought a Wii. Walmart finally had some in stock and I went there right away when I found out.

Anyway, more posts soon... maybe?

Sorta New Things

2008-08-29T22:35:00.007-05:00

At the end of last week, during work, out of no where I had the urge to play Final Fantasy. But not any Final Fantasy, I wanted to play FFVII (for those that don't understand Roman Numerals, that's FF7). I had never had the chance to actually beat that game before because I never owned it. So I thought that I would pull out my Playstation (the original one) and find a copy of FFVII on Ebay or Craigslist.

I get my Playstation out, plug it all in, and put in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (the first one) to make sure that everything is still in working order. Which it was for the most part. The console over the years has seemed to have quit reading memory cards... no bueno. Plus my controllers don't exactly work the best either. So I figured that I could just buy another Playstation as well.

I find a Playstation on Ebay for $2.50 and end up winning the auction at $8.50, which really wasn't that bad of a deal. Now to find a Final Fantasy. This was easier than I thought, just not as cheap as I thought. Games were ranging anywhere from $30 to $130. Practically falling over in my chair, I checked over at CL to see what people had there and to see if I could find a better price. I was able to find one at $50 that is pretty close to my house. And being impatient, I dealt with the higher price to have the game now. So then all I had to wait on was my Playstation.

And so my Playstation arrived today. W00T! It looks to be in nice condition, about the same as mine... but it still reads memory cards, yay. It also came with two memory cards, two analog controllers and the necessary cables. Only thing is that it smells a little of cigarettes, one of the memory cards is for Playstation 2 and one of the analog sticks on each of controllers are damaged... ooops, more than one thing. Oh, and here is the link to my unboxing pictures and a few others.

Yay. I almost forgot, I think I might get a cat tomorrow. I will tell you about it if I get it, tomorrow.

Quick

2008-08-26T19:39:00.004-05:00

Just a quick little write up.

I was just reading over some of my RSS/Atom subscriptions and came across something I would much rather have preferred to never read. I don't think I want to quote what it said but I can tell you how it made me feel.

Very sad. Yes. And it came from one single sentence. It even happened before I finished reading that one sentence. It was like suddenly being stabbed (or something like that). It was so sad even, that I am beginning to feel depressed. Why? Because I know that I could have done something about it. But instead, I chose to do nothing. So maybe I deserve the sadness? I am leaning towards the fact that this is something that I do deserve because of the poor choice(s) that I have made in my life. I guess it is the price that I must pay, but it will be something that I must deal with forever. That is how long the consequences of me not making the one most right choice of my life will be.

I am not exactly sure what to do now. I want to unsubscribe from that feed. But at the same time stay subscribed because maybe it was a bad joke. Then again...

Even stranger, not really (makes sense to me), is that now I have an even stronger disliking of Texas and wish that I had never moved here. Maybe I will write about this more. Maybe not. It is not something that I really want to remember, so I really don't want to look back at this blog years from now and experience the same feelings again.

So much for "Quick".

First Day Of School

2008-08-25T09:38:00.006-05:00

Yet again, it is the first day of school. By now I am very tired of this. It is such an old, and now boring, feeling. Although, I am getting a few laughs because of the large amount of lost people. Because this is the beginning of the Fall semester, there are a lot of new students to the school, and what appears to be more than usual. There is actually a guy that is standing over in a corner just helping people find their classroom. I am assuming that he is a student just waiting for his class to begin, like what I am doing now.

Besides those lost students, the classes that I am taking this semester have too many books, hah. Especially my American Literature class. I have three books just for that class. Three heavy books. I guess that makes up for two of my other classes that don't require any books. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining.

Other than school. A couple interesting this happened this past weekend. I guess it deserves to be interesting though seeing that it is the last weekend of Summer, not literally of course. Most of all of the interesting things happened yesterday. I'll just go through the timeline of yesterday.

First, I slept in till about 10:00 or so and then took a shower and got ready to go to Wal-Mart. Haha, that makes me laugh, "getting ready to go to Wal-Mart." My brother and I went to Wal-mart to get a 5-pack of 8cm DVD's that we had hid the day before because they were the last pack on sale and we didn't want to wait in the ridiculously long lines. So we got our DVD's, and then we went to the back of the store to check to see if they had any Wii's in stock. Sure enough, they didn't. Instead of buying a Wii, I bought a new video camera. It's decent. It is very small, records onto SD cards and has a long battery life. After that, we had to get my brothers practice gear and meet him at the park because he spent the night at a friends house. When that was all said and done, it was time for me to get gas. On the way to get the gas, I found a turtle! Crazy! Since the turtle was some type of water turtle, I returned him to a nearby pond. Hopefully that made him happy.

Class starts soon. Later.

Blog Stuff

2008-08-20T22:28:00.004-05:00

Ok. My new blog is up. I have decided a name and have two posts up already. Of course, you could just check out my profile and you would then see it, but me being as nice as I am will give you a link anyway.

Enjoy ;)

Not Quite Obvious

Something New

2008-08-20T19:33:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking about starting up a new blog lately. This one will basically be for exactly what the title says, "Almost Daily Journal". But there are some things that aren't really a part of my life that wouldn't need to be inluded in my journal, so why put them here? For the last couple of days, that was my only reasoning to create a new blog. But then I stumbled (no relation to StumbleUpon) a few other things this afternoon. I found that I really feel that I need to share my opinion on things. It is a slightly crazy reason, but because I would normally be too shy to let someone know what I think of something directly, the internets (politically corectness please) is where I turn to.

I haven't really thought up of a name for it yet, but I am going to start working on it as soon as I am finished typing this up. So when it is finished and my first post is up, I will have a link over here for you to click and follow me to. Oh, and don't forget to subscribe if you like it.

Something

2008-08-19T00:27:00.004-05:00

Multitasking. I am writing a post on my blog and broadcasting on BlogTV .com at the same time. Crazy. Actually, it's really not that hard when there isn't anyone watching your show, so it is pretty easy for me. But if anyone is interested, you are more than welcome to watch my show. I don't really have a schedule, I just get on when I feel like and and when I have time. But you could still subscribe and that way you will know when I will be broadcasting.

Moving on. Something interesting happened earlier this evening, I received and email saying that a photo of mine could possibly end up in a city guide for Salt Lake City, Utah. The company that will be publishing the guide is Schmap. I know, it's a silly name. They seem to have come across some photos from my photostream on Flickr and found a particular photo that they liked. It is really almost flattering. I am no pro at photography, not even semi-pro (Haha, good movie), but the picture seemed to be good enough to be included in a city guide. It is exciting. My name and a link to my full res photo will be added to the photo. But, I probably shouldn't get too excited yet because they didn't say that my photo would be included for sure but that it is a possibility. I actually hope that it makes it and that people find my photos and enjoy the pictures that I have taken. It all sounds cool to me.

What else. School starts back up next week. Bleh. I guess I am a little excited though because it will hopefully earn me my associates degree and I am also looking forward to my digital media class. It definitely sounds like the most fun class I am taking this semester. I will be able to get hands-on experience with Photoshop, Flash, Premiere, Acid (I think) and a couple other pieces of software. I am especially looking forward to learning more about Photoshop and Premiere. I still don't think I have all my stuff ready for school yet, for supplies anyway. I need to get a few notebooks, a pencil and pick up my books from the school. My books are already ready for me to pick up; I ordered them online about a month and a half ago.

Besides school, work is back to it's normal self. Hopefully I won't have to cover any ones shift for a while, mainly because I won't be able to because of school. It is nice getting back to my normal hours though.

By the way. I uploaded some more photos to Flickr, just a few, and added two videos to my YouTube channel. If anyone is interested, please help yourself.

Later.

Hey

2008-08-15T19:37:00.002-05:00

Let's see what has been going on.

My sister is always angry at someone... WTF is up with that? That just pisses me off (a vent coming on?). I think I know of a perfect way to fix it, but I would probably be arrested/go to jail for permenantly damaging her face. Anyway, she just happened to be angry at me a few minutes ago. So now I want to hit her with a car...

Moving on. I got my RC car running again. I recieved a brand new engine in the mail, broke it in, and now the car runs great. I still have a few things I need to fix on it though. Things like the bbody mount posts, fuel line, new engine mount screws, and now today (thanks to a stupid neighbor) I am going to need a new steering connecting rod. Even though this stuff needs to be fixed, the parts are pretty cheap and it's fun to fix. I have already had the experience of fixing the car twice. First was the motor (broken connecting rod), second was a bent dogbone along with broken rear differential. Now I get to fix it again. I can't decide if I want to order the parts or just head to the hobby shop and pick up the parts tomorrow. Suggestions?

I have also been covering some extra hours at work this week, and also two weeks ago. I'm happy about getting the overtime because I had to pay off my tuition and books. Speaking of school, I had completely forgot when I am supposed to start and thought it would be a good idea to check. Good thing I did because I start the 25th of this month, that's only a week from Monday. I had no idea it was back so soon. I still need to head up to Six Flags.

No more for now. Peace.

If they keep on doing this shit...

2008-08-12T13:50:00.001-05:00

I saw this on Digg. And it all makes perfect sense. What is wrong with the MPAA when they criticize you even when you haven't done anything wrong.

read more | digg story

Microsoft's "Mojave" Experiment Has a Website

2008-07-29T17:19:00.003-05:00

Microsoft's "new" operating system's [Mojave] website Video of the experiment to be released on Tuesday!

read more digg story

Wow, to all those that are against Vista. Shame on you. You people should really watch these videos and see what it is all about. The thing that I really don't like the most about some/most people is how they claim to dislike or hate something when they have zero actual knowledge about the object. You can have absolutely zero say in whether something is good or bad unless you have real knowledge about it. Rarely (never say never) should anyone ever rely on another person's opinion on almost anything.

Just had to make sure that everyone understands what is going on.

End.

It's Another Week

2008-07-21T21:52:00.001-05:00

Yep, so today is yet another Monday to the beginning of another week. This week is somewhat special though. I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to work 20 hours of overtime this week. Lucky right? I guess you could think of that as good and bad. Good because I will be making time and a half for 20 hours but bad because I will be working 20 extra hours. Oh well. I could really use the money though because I need to pay my tuition for this upcoming fall semester and I also need to buy my books. Besides tuition, I have a bunch of bills that need to be paid. Why must the fun stuff in the world cost so much? I guess I don't mind having the extra work to do this week. Last summer I worked two full-time jobs for a couple months and it really didn't bother me at all. I guess I miss being that busy.

This past weekend, I was looking forward to seeing the new Batman movie, Batman: The Dark Knight, but it is sold out still and therefore I can't get a free ticket... not yet anyway. Instead of Batman, I was able to see Wanted again. That movie is really one of my all time favorite movies. Maybe because it has everything that any guy pretty much likes to see in a movie. Stuff blows up, cars/people flying through the air, bullets everywhere, good fighting scenes, and a hot chick. This movie covers all the bases.

I think that is all I have for right now. Later

A Few Things

2008-07-17T18:17:00.008-05:00

The strangest topic came up in a conversation between myself and a co-worker of mine. It started out as a list of who we think are good rappers, then to good singers, then about people that are actors and singers. From there, it segued into our favorite actors/actresses, then just actresses and finally, those that we think are ugly actresses. Just a little strange (and kinda mean, but still funny). I thought it might be a pretty interesting list of people to write down. So here is our list of actresses that we think are ugly.

Ugly Actresses

1. Teri Hatcher

2. Drew Barrymore

3. Marcia Cross

4. Nicole Richie

5. Uma Therman

6. Kirsten Dunst

7. Cher

That's all that I can remember right now. To make this seem not so mean, I'll also put up a few that we think are least ugly

Un-Ugly Actresses

1. Megan Fox

2. Angelina Jolie

3. Charlize Theron

4. Jennifer Garner

5. Jessica Alba

6. Jessica Biel

So there you have it. Kind of a weird conversation. Thought it was a good mention though.

Moving on. I guess I don't have much else to say. I found a cool website, FriendFeed.com, that keeps track of all things, mostly, to do with social networking. It shows updates for just about any social networking website profile that you tell it to keep track of. Plus, if you have friends that are signed up, you can view their updates too. Awesome, right? I thought so. Anyway, they even have an app for Facebook and I think people should check it out if they're into that sorta thing. I also have taken a new liking to Gradual Report on YouTube. I think it is hilarious, check that out too.

I guess that all for now. "Tune in tomorrow — same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!" (If I had a bat-channel and a bat-time, that's where you would go)

Sitting Here...

2008-07-15T20:22:00.006-05:00

I feel bad. I am sitting, not doing anything really important, just checking out the internets and seeing what's new. As I began checking my email, Facebook, YouTube, BlogTV, etc. accounts I remembered my Blogger. And now I feel bad because I have been neglecting it. (I'm sorry blog). I look at my blog title, Almost Daily Journal, and really feel like I have been extremely lazy with it. It really isn't hard to write a paragraph or two at least every other day. So I will begin trying harder to stay on top of that.

As for an update in my life and it's happenings....

I am done with school for the summer. Yay! I now have until the end of August to do as close to nothing as I can. Since I have been out of school I have only accomplished a few things, spending money is the main one. I bought a nitro RC car, but I haven't been able to play with it because the con rod and piston head destroyed themselves while breaking in the motor. So I sent the motor in today in exchange for a new one. Also, my brother and I went to a concert at the House of Blues here in Dallas which was pretty cool. We saw Powerspace, Danger Radio, Ace Enders and Cute Is What We Aim For (the only one group we knew). Ace Enders, by the way, are a pretty decent rock/alternative/pop/indie band, if you are into that kind of thing.

As for how I spend my mornings now that I don't have to be at school; I sleep in. Not really that late, but normally to about 9:00am. And to help pass by time in the mornings, I have re-started(?) playing WoW (World of Warcraft) again (me=total nerd). I also get in some Xbox360 play time for some local multiplayer stuff. And I cannot forget to mention the internets. I have started watching plenty of YouTube and BlogTV stuff. So much so that I have even felt the need to create my own accounts and create my own videos and broadcast my own show (off the deep end).

Even though my nerd-side has just about taken over for the summer, I still go outside and play airsoft, attempt riding skateboards, and head to the movie theater almost every weekend. Also, please keep in mind that I still have a full-time job, so all of this is happening while I am not working.

As for vacation stuff. I want to make another trip out to California but am unsure if it is really going to happen, mainly because of money and work. I would at least like to make a trip out to Six Flags for a Saturday before school resumes. Maybe some people from California will come out here to visit? (highly doubt it).

Well, that's that for now. Again, sorry blog... and any readers(?) for the neglect of posts. I get a slap in the back of the head for that.

On a side note. I created a "My Map" with Google Maps of places that I like. If anyone feels the inclination to check it out, feel free to do so. The link is here

Wow! Extremely Busy

2008-06-16T22:04:00.003-05:00

It has definitely been too long since my last post... I apologize... I think. I have really been quite busy lately. With taking summer classes, working full time and then my butt load of homework. It has just been a little crazy.

Yep, my summer classes at Richland started last Monday. And by the end of this week, I will be halfway through with them, so the semester is really short. Most people take one class per summer semester because you are limited to only 7 credit hours and the classes are very fast. But I decided that I was going to take two. And because I am still working full time, I am only able to take one in class while the other has to be online. I am really not that dumb, because my hard class is history and I actually have to go to that class, while my online class... is introduction to computers. Yes, introduction to computers... so that should be super easy. As for the history class, it is everyday, from 9:50am to 12:00pm, and hopefully, with all these hours in class, it seems a little easier.

Ok. So that was a quick little update, and now I have to go and do some reading for my history class. I am not exactly sure when I will have another post, so, if anyone reads, please be patient. The last day of my summer classes is July 3.

Lazy Update

2008-05-30T08:20:00.003-05:00

I haven't updated in almost two weeks and I really don't have any excuse other than I have been really lazy. Well, I guess I can explain a little about what I've been up to.

Last weekend I moved out of the apartment and moved back into my parents house. I know that is such a sorry thing but I really didn't have any other decent options. Anyway, I moved all my things Saturday and Sunday and cleaned on Monday, a very spectacular Memorial Day. All of it pretty much sucked because it was something like 1000 degrees outside all weekend. Also because when I got my things back to my parents house, I didn't have anywhere to put them because my sister had decided not to clean her stuff out of the room that I would be moving into. So I not only had to clean the entire apartment, because all Robert did was vacuum his room, but I then had to clean the room that I hadn't even slept in yet at my parents house. It was pretty crappy.

Moving on... I also saw the new Indiana Jones movie twice this last weekend, once by myself on Thursday and again with my family on Monday. I was pretty happy too because last Friday I was given the new Blackberry Curve (8320 for T-Mobile) for work and on Saturday morning got a LG Voyager VX10000. So that made the weekend a little better. I was also excited all week because I was supposed to be getting my new Dell XPS M1530 on Thursday but it was delayed and now isn't supposed to arrive until Monday.

Other than those few things, I have just been doing the normal go to work thing and that's about it. I don't have any plans this weekend, and if it is as hot as it was last weekend,I don't want to have plans.

The Way Home From Work

2008-05-15T21:47:00.002-05:00

Alright, I know that I should probably be writing about other things but...

On the way home from work, I got in a race with a Corolla S, probably 04-05, and lost :( I know that their engine is a lot newer than mine but still. It was so frustrating because I didn't just lose, there was a good distance between us. Ugh, I am really tired of my car now.

A Little More Than A Week

2008-05-13T08:02:00.013-05:00

Yep, it's been a little over a week since my last post but I think that I have a good excuse... finals. So I was putting more focus into school trying to make sure that I would at least pass my classes because this semester was very challenging for me. Especially my history class and it doesn't help that I never liked the subject either. I was also strugling with my governement class too. I also had philosophy which wasn't too bad, I sucked at all of the tests but aced all of the writing assignments. My last class is astronomy which was really a piece of cake to begin with.

So the day to take finals came and I knew that I did pretty bad on my history final after I took it because it just didn't feel right. Then, I had to take my government final right after that. Even though my government final was comprehensive, it still seemed like a much easier test, except for the "fill in the blank" questions, than our other tests.

The next day I only had one final, astronomy. Now I didn't study for this test at all and I can say that there were maybe only 2 or 3 questions that I didn't get mostly because of how the questions is worded (my professor is Chinese and makes a few grammatical mistakes). After that test I was done until my philosophy test which was the next day. Since my philosophy test is online, you would expect it to be pretty easy and thats exactly what I thought, but I was wrong. During the test I felt like I was answering correctly but when I finished and got my grade, I did much worse, a 64%. At least that wasn't the only thing I had to do; I also had to turn in my final writing assignment which I was hoping would come out much better than my test score.

After a few days all of my grades were in. The final verdict was 1 A, 2 B's and 1 D with a GPA of 2.846 for the semester. I am sure you can guess which grades go to which classes, but I was very surprised to see a second B. The other B goes to my government class.... crazy?! Other than that I am happy with my grades because my only goal this semester was to pass all of my classes and that is exactly what I did. Now time for summer.

I was really wanting to move back to California this summer but after having a look at what I have left here for school, I decided that I will stay until next January or February. All that I have left is a total of 5 classes. So I will be taking 2 classes during the first summer semester which starts in June and maybe 1 or 2 more the second half of summer. That would leave me with 1 or 2 (depending on how many I take during the summer) classes left to take in the fall before I can finally earn my associates. I figured, with the help of some other people's opinions, that it is better that I stay and get my degree because it will also give me time to save up some money for the move back to California.

Well, I am tired of typing for now... I should be back later with some more.

What is happening?

2008-05-02T19:27:00.004-05:00

Why do I care so much? Am I in envy? Is it admiration? Am I jealous? Maybe I just don't want to see the truth. I know now, from experience, that the truth is very painful. You can't help who you love, can you?

I can't help but think that maybe it was all wrong to begin with. If I never pursued it, I would never have had to deal with these feelings. For me, it borderlines the impossible to deal with.

I think I have a bad habit of giving up and running away from things. If it's not there, you don't have to deal with it. Makes me wonder what/who is in Canada. If it is nobody and nothing, perfect. It should be easier to forget things there. Right?

Who am I kidding. I will end up answering these questions myself. What is the point of even asking.

I read the last chapter in my philosophy book about the meaning of life. Nobody knows the answer. Pointless.

...

School Things

2008-04-29T22:07:00.003-05:00

I could use any help I can get on this decision I need to make for school. First, let me explain...

Ever since moving to Texas, I have always wanted to move back to California and continue going to school there, and this summer I actually have a great opportunity to finally do that. The only thing that is preventing me from going is the out-of-state tuition fees and that I do not know how many classes will be transferable to the school in California. I also spoke with a counselor from my current school and found out that I am only about one more semester away from earning my associates degree here. ...Before I go on, let me separate the pros and cons for each situation.

If I stay in Texas a while longer:
I will be able to complete my associates degree.
I can begin having my bank statements sent to my aunts house so that by fall 09, so I do not have to pay out-of-state tuition.
Save money.
I have a strong desire to move back to California.
May not have a job or a place to stay.

Moving to California now:
Good job and a place to stay.
Getting away from Texas.
Closer to friends and other family... and the one I love.
Enjoy the school more.
Pay more tuition.
May lose some earned credits.

What do you think?

Well, after writing these down, and talking to someone about it, I think that my best decision would be to stay in Texas a little while longer. I may lose a semester of school in the spring, but I think I will be much better off. I will have a degree and more money. But I am still having a really hard decision on choosing what I want to do, but I am leaning more towards staying now. I still need to talk to my parents about it.

My Vacation

2008-04-28T07:12:00.005-05:00

I went on vacation two weeks ago now, and I said last week that I will write about what I did on my vacation. But I'm having second thoughts now. While everything that happened on my vacation was good and made me very happy, there are also a few things that were a result of my vacation that I do not want to remember; I am having a hard enough time right now trying to forget the things that have happened. So, for anyone that may read this and be interested in knowing what happened, I am sorry because I will not be writing about any of it.

...

I need help. The girl that I will fly to the moon for... doesn't really want me to fly to the moon for her. Maybe if she was any other girl, I wouldn't, but this one is the most special to me. I love her so much so that I cannot describe it with any words that I know. I have told her this before, but I don't think that she was able to fully understand the amount I was talking about. But as much as I love her, the amount that she says she loves me, I believe that I had only one chance to prove it to her and I screwed it up because I wasn't prepared. Now I am almost sure that she will find another person, one that is prepared. I know what I need to do and am working on it so that if she happens to be the "exception to the rule", maybe the one that got away can also be the one that returns. This is all I have to hope for but my chances are slim to none. Only time will tell, unless someone has any better ideas. I don't know how long I can wait, and if it is too long, I know for sure that I will be too late.

Contrary to what I said before, under certain circumstances, I am not ready to give up... not on her.

Some Advice From Experience

2008-04-24T23:34:00.005-05:00

Plain and simple. Don't fall in love, because if it breaks it hurts the worst. I couldn't go through that again, so the only solution that I came up with is to keep that from happening by avoiding everything that may lead to it. I am not going to make that mistake ever again.

Update:
There is nothing that I can do... she left me and isn't going to come back regardless of anything I say or do. I am not good enough. I give up.

What to do?

2008-04-24T07:51:00.006-05:00

I know that I haven't had a post in a long time but I have a very good reason why I haven't though. I really don't feel like going into all the details right now because I have something more important on my mind at the moment that I feel that I need to get out. Do not worry though, I will eventually explain what has been happening in my 20+ post-less days.

So Carmen is now my girlfriend and I am very happy to say that, but there is one problem/issue (not really a bad thing as the word problem may make you think). We had gotten into talking about marriage and when we would think about actually marrying someone. My answer was about three years from now, although this isn't definite. I don't know what her exact answer was but she says that three years is a long time. I am not the arguing type, we each have our own opinions is all. My thought process was that three years is good because I should be mostly finished with school, have a better job and I would still only be 23 years old. If I was to marry her, three years from now, she should also either be mostly done or finished with school and still only be either 21 or 22 (depending on the month). I thought that this sounded like a decent plan, but she told me that she cannot wait that long, maybe I am being selfish and only thinking of myself. We had a conversation on the phone about this last night and were unable to come up with a solution. I told her that I would give it some thought which is pretty much all I did last night because if there was any girl that I wanted to marry, she is the one.

As I was thinking about this dilemma last night, I came up with a few different ideas but I only had two that could actually work. The first one was that maybe I am not supposed to get married to her at all and maybe not ever. I don't think that I would have a problem with not getting married to her, or anyone at all. Plus I don't mind living by myself either. The one thing that I know that I will have a really hard time with is knowing that she would marry, love, and have a family with someone else. My second possibility would be to not wait as long to get married even though I may not think that I am ready to get married. With this second idea, I have slowly come up with other reasons why this may be a better solution. The most significant reason is that I love her and always will so it wouldn't matter when we get married because I just want to be with her forever.

Last night as we talked on the phone it sounded to me like she was upset. I hope that she isn't but I guess she the right to be because I may have disappointed her. I will do anything to keep her.

Been a While

2008-04-08T08:06:00.004-05:00

It's been a while since my last post but I think I have a good reason why. I blame school. I have been getting slightly more homework than usual and I think that my teachers have decided to get together and have thei tests at the same time. I have my reasons for thinking this too. Next week, I have 3 tests, one on Sunday, Monday and Wednesday and now it looks like I might have another test next week too for my astronomy class. Just perfect. The week that I will be leaving on vacation is going to be the roughest week of school. Not only do I have these tests to worry about, but I also have a project in my government class dues that Wednesday. Anyway class is about to start. I don't know when I will be back to make another post, but I will if I find the time.

Stuck

2008-04-04T00:45:00.003-05:00

I don't know what to do. I will be going to California soon and some of my friends know about it now. This is all fine and dandy, but because they don't get to see me they want to hang out while I am there. What they don't know is that I want to go there to spend all of what time I have with Carmen. I would like to spend time with all my friends, but I won't have the time. So now I am feeling like a lousy friend because I won't be spending as much time as my friends, or myself, would want. Although I have made plans for double date thing with Shingo, Gabby, Carmen and myself, I still feel bad for not including everyone. Also, seeing as I am going there with nothing but some clothes and a little cash, Carmen and her family will be taking care of everything else and I would feel really bad if all I did was make Carmen drive me around to see my friends. After all, it is her spring break and she should be able to do whatever she wants. And this is only about my friends, I still have family in California that I will feel bad for not visiting too. I am almost beginning to think that maybe this wasn't that great of an idea if I won't be able to spend time with everyone.

I feel like I am disowning my friends and my family on this trip. Brings me back to the question that I may be meant to spend my life alone. After all, I am already on my way because in May I will be moving out of this apartment and into another one by myself. I think Carmen worries about me being alone, but unless I move back in with my parents (extreme last resort), this is my only option. I think that tonight will be difficult for sleep because of all these thoughts. Homework isn't helping either. I also think that these thoughts will be dragging on with me through the weekend. ...it's gonna suck...