Am I Hungry?

Change Your Thoughts about Exercise

Michelle May — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 16:49:00 +0000

Although exercise is one of the most powerful tools available for improving your overall well-being, for many people, the word exercise conjures up negative thoughts and feelings. To develop an enjoyable and sustainable physical activity habit, it’s important to notice, and if necessary, change your thoughts about exercise!

Are your thoughts about exercise on your side?

Most people recognize the benefits of physical activity and feel it’s important. But many people are less active than they say they want to be. Why is there a disconnect between what they think is important and what they actually do?

Without realizing it, they may have ineffective thoughts about exercise that interfere with their ability to follow through on their best intentions.

Thinking ineffective thoughts is a habit, and a habit can be changed with awareness, curiosity, and practice. For example, if you believe fitness is important but you’re not very active or exercising regularly, it’s likely you have some limiting thoughts that keep you from doing it. With practice, you can change your thoughts about physical activity and eating (and just about everything else!) to thoughts that support your intention to become more active and experience all the benefits!

Common ineffective thoughts about exercise

Let’s challenge the these common ineffective thoughts about exercise that might be keeping you from doing it.

I know I should exercise, but I hate it, so I just can’t seem to make myself do it.

Many people dread exercise, as can be heard by the use of words like should, hate, and make myself. These thoughts often come from uncomfortable past experiences like being chosen last for teams, boring exercise routines, and/or discomfort or pain from doing too much too fast.

Some people only exercise when they’re trying to lose weight, so they’ve come to think of exercise as a punishment for their eating.

However, this time you can find fun physical activities that suit your personality and lifestyle. You can start slowly and allow your body to adjust gradually, so it’s not uncomfortable. You can choose to focus on all the great things physical activity does for you and how wonderful you feel, instead of how many calories you “should” burn.

I don’t have time to exercise.

This is probably the number one reason we hear in our mindful eating programs and retreats! Most of us are very busy, and have difficulty fitting fitness in.

Here are some ideas for changing the thought, “I don’t have time to exercise.”

When you’re busy, trying to go to the gym for an hour may not work for you. Instead, it will probably be more effective to look for small chunks of time to fit a little movement into your day. For example, you might decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator. (And remember to set the bar low! If you work on the 5th floor, at first, you could take the stairs one flight and the elevator the other four flights.)
Look for opportunities to multi-task. (Not our usual advice in a mindfulness-based program!) For example, could you schedule a walking meeting with a co-worker? Could you ride bikes or play catch with your child? Does your dog (or your partner) need a walk? Can you sit on an exercise bike or walk on a treadmill while listening to a podcast or watching TV? You get the idea!
Look for pockets of wasted time you could reclaim for physical activity.
Re-prioritize your time. Being physically active is probably more important for your health and well-being than most of the other things you think must get done each day. The key is giving it the priority that it deserves.

I don’t have the energy.

Getting started is often the most challenging part of exercise The good news is that no matter how you feel initially, you’re likely to feel better within just a few minutes of starting to move!

Physical activity raises your endorphins (feel good chemicals) and serotonin levels (calm chemicals). These feelings usually last long after the exercise is finished too. Exercise increases your strength and stamina, and helps you sleep better, so you’re likely to feel better and become more productive (which will help with feeling like you don’t have time!).

So, even when you feel tired, could you experiment with exercising for ten minutes? Promise yourself you can stop and try again another day if you still aren’t feeling any better. Most of the time you’ll feel so good you’ll want to continue!

I’m embarrassed to be seen exercising.

Ironically most other people are so focused on themselves, they aren’t going to notice you anyway! And if they do judge you, it says a lot more about them than it does about you!

Eventually you’ll probably feel less self-conscious. In the meantime, find activities and places that feel more comfortable, so you can focus on all of the wonderful benefits of moving your body. Remember, you’re doing this for yourself, not to win others’ approval.

Exercise is really hard for me.

Physical activity doesn’t have to be hard or hurt to be beneficial. In fact, it is more important to find activities that are convenient, comfortable, and enjoyable, so you’ll stick with them. Here are a few ideas for making exercise more fun:

Find a partner to exercise with.
Try new activities. (My latest favorite is pickleball!)
Instead of taking the same walk, try a new route (or even your usual route in reverse).
Reward yourself with a hot bath or massage.
Set small, achievable goals to stay motivated. (Here’s an article that will help!)

Even if you have physical limitations, it’s possible to find ways to increase your activity. Try searching YouTube for key words like “chair exercise,” “senior exercise,” “yoga for larger bodies” and other specific terms describing your needs.

If you’ve been inactive recently, start by increasing your lifestyle activity, and add more movement gradually. You’ll be amazed at how much your body can adapt to whatever challenges you give it!

I’m so out of shape, I don’t even know where to begin!

For some people, it may be important to check with your doctor before beginning a new exercise program. Once you’ve been medically cleared, you have to start somewhere, so start where you are!

This might require you to let go of perfectionism and “all or nothing” thinking! There’s no such thing as instant fitness. If you start this week by increasing your activity level little by little, three months from now you’ll be stronger, more energetic, healthier, and most important, feeling better.

I was doing pretty well until I got sick (or company came or I went on vacation).

Quitting your exercise program because you missed a day, a week, or even longer makes as much sense as eating the whole bag of cookies because you ate three! (Another example of “all or nothing” thinking!)

No person and no schedule are ever perfect. For activity to become part of your life, you need to be as consistent, but as flexible as possible. Many people have found that putting their exercise schedule in their calendar helps. If they miss a session, they simply reschedule it the way they would any other important appointment.

Other people find it helpful to schedule time with a friend or a trainer or commit to a regular class.

What are your other ineffective thoughts about exercise?

When you’re having difficulty being as active as you want to, notice whether your thoughts about exercise are getting in the way.

Can you counter them in a more effective way? Develop encouraging statements about activity and repeat them to yourself often.

For instance, instead of saying, Exercise is boring, could you say, Being active gives me the opportunity to relieve stress and feel better. Repeat affirmations like I can feel myself becoming healthier and more energetic, It feels so good to move my muscles! and I can do it!

Start thinking of your self as a fit and active person and you will surely become one!

This is an excerpt from Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle by Michelle May, M.D.

This article has been updated from a previously published version.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:

Exercise: The Best Medicine

Diet and Activity Trackers: The Next Generation of Misused Tools

Is Perfectionism Eating You Up?

The post Change Your Thoughts about Exercise appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

It’s a fad and 6 other Myths about Mindful Eating

Michelle May — Thu, 05 Feb 2026 01:19:00 +0000

With the popularity of mindful eating on the rise, there are many myths about mindful eating, including what mindful eating is and how it is used to help people. One article about mindful eating published on a popular diet website generated comments revealing myths, skepticism, and resistance, including this funny comment: “I will NOT fantasize about fruit like it is a sexual object.“

It is understandable that people might be confused about mindful eating. Just over a decade ago, when I asked audiences whether they’d ever heard of “mindful eating,” very few hands went up. Nowadays, mindful eating has become mainstream, with millions of results for the search term “mindful eating.”

This may explain one of the myths about mindful eating: “Mindful eating is just a fad.”

1. Mindful eating is just another fad.

Mindful eating is an ancient concept that has important applications in our current abundant food environment where the norm has become mindless eating.

Mindful eating is about bringing awareness to what is happening in the present moment. This includes awareness of your physical sensations, your thoughts (including your reaction to environmental cues), and your emotions. This awareness helps you choose how you will respond in any situation.

Clearly, that is a useful and lasting skill, not a fad! And, it is a skill that transfers to other areas of our lives too.

2. Mindful eating is “just” eating with awareness.

I often see articles that give advice to eat mindfully like this: “Sit down to eat. Don’t eat in front of the television.” And to be clear, “chew each bite 32 times” is NOT mindful eating. It is mind-full eating!

While eating slowly and decreasing distractions while eating are helpful strategies, mindful eating has many more applications.

At Am I Hungry?, mindful eating encompasses the entire process of eating. Examples of specific opportunities for mindfulness include:

awareness of your body cues
recognition of non-hunger stimuli for eating
selecting food to meet your needs for enjoyment and nourishment
eating for optimal satisfaction and satiety
cultivating the ability to learn from mistakes
using the energy you’ve consumed to fuel the vibrant life you crave.

For more about how to use the Mindful Eating Cycle, download chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.

Remember, you can only change what you are aware of. That’s what makes mindful eating such a powerful tool for developing a healthier, happier relationship with food.

3. Mindful eating is too hard.

As a young child, mindful eating was natural! You touched, smelled, and played with your food – and sometimes spit it out if you didn’t like it.

As adults, many of us have learned to rush and/or multitask while we eat (and just about everything else). We barely notice what we’re eating or whether we like it. We’ve had lots of practice eating a candy bar or a bag of potato chips without thinking about it. It’s easy!

It’s challenging to slow down to notice what we are consuming, much less how we are consuming it and how our body is responding. Slowing down heightens your senses, including awareness about what you’re thinking and feeling.

Just remember, there is no need for perfection! Take small steps. Some ideas for making it a little easier at first:

Eat one bite of chocolate or a strawberry, noticing the aromas, flavors, and textures.
Set an intention to eat the first few bites of your meal mindfully.
When you notice you are eating fast or while distracted, practice bringing your attention back for your next bite.
If you become aware that you’re feeling uncomfortable or anxious, pause and take a couple of deep breaths.
Practice mindfulness while doing other activities, like showering or taking a walk.
When you have time, follow the steps for mindful eating by yourself or with others. You might be surprised at how that changes your experience.

If mindful eating is a new skill, every bite you eat is an opportunity to practice! Since eating mindfully brings more pleasure and satisfaction to your snack or meal, you’ll likely find that it becomes easier and feel more natural over time.

Which brings us to another myth about mindful eating.

4. Mindful eating takes too long.

When you are busy, it seems that sitting down to “just” eat takes too much time. The temptation is to eat while working, driving, reading, scrolling, or watching TV.

When we lead a mindful eating experience during a workshop or retreat, we spend up to an hour “deconstructing” the Mindful Eating Cycle in order to demonstrate the skills in discrete steps. (You’ll also find these strategies explained in the Mindful Eating chapter of the Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat books.)

This may sound prescriptive or mechanical at first. However, each step of our mindful eating exercise has a purpose. After one such lunch, one mindful eating retreat participant said that eating this way felt “sensual.” The definition of sensuous is to use all of one’s senses, so that’s a great way to describe mindful eating!

And while it’s wonderful to experience an entire meal leisurely and mindfully, mindful eating doesn’t have to take a long time to be effective. A meal eaten mindfully for 10 or 15 minutes is likely to be far more satisfying than one you eat unconsciously. And, you can mindfully consume a piece of cheese or a couple of cookies in just a few minutes – and turn those few minutes into a mini-meditation that will nourish your body and your soul!

5. Mindful eating is “woo woo.”

In contrast to hypertasking and just going through the motions, it does feel a bit spiritual to focus on just one thing at a time. And while mindfulness has ancient roots, it is imminently practical in our modern hurried, overwhelming environment.

Unlike the less common acts of meditating, going to a place of worship, or reading spiritual works, everyone eats! Bringing mindfulness to the table is a useful way to tap into the calming effects of the present moment.

When you bring “beginner’s mind” to each eating experience, eating becomes a multisensory adventure that is so much more satisfying and enjoyable – perhaps even a bit spiritual.

6. Mindful eating is for eating “better.”

Unfortunately, the phrase “mindful eating” is often misused as a way to talk about restricting food intake, as in “Eat mindfully to avoid sugar.” I describe that as mind-full eating!

Eating mindfully definitely increases your awareness about why you do what you do, and that can lead to changes that support your intention to feel better.

Combining mindful eating skills with a non-diet (non-restrictive) approach makes it possible to listen to the feedback your body gives you when you eat something that doesn’t agree with you or when you eat more than your body needs.

When guilt is no longer a factor, common sense will prevail!

7. Mindful eating is for weight loss.

Unfortunately, due to our our weight-focused culture, a common myth is that mindful eating techniques are for weight loss.

Mindful eating is an “inside-out” approach. The myth that it’s just for weight loss undermines many of the lasting benefits because it keeps the focus on changing the outside.

This is a complex topic worthy of its own article: Mindful Eating and Weight Loss: Setting the record straight.

Although there will continue to be misunderstandings and myths about mindful eating, the best way to tap into the power of this approach is to try it for yourself!

The post It’s a fad and 6 other Myths about Mindful Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

Clearing Confusion about Mindful Eating

Rebecca Johnson — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 22:11:00 +0000

The term “mindful eating” is used everywhere these days! You may be wondering, “What exactly is mindful eating? How does it help? How can I learn more about it, or help others learn about it?” With the explosion of interest, there is also confusion about mindful eating.

Often understood narrowly as “eating slowly” or “eating without distraction,” but contrary to popular belief, mindful eating is not “just” eating with awareness. Although being present while eating is important, mindful eating encompasses the entire process of eating, such as:

awareness of body cues (like hunger), thoughts, and emotions
recognition of non-hunger triggers for eating, including environmental and emotional cues
selection of food for both nourishment and enjoyment
eating for optimal satisfaction and satiety
using the fuel you’ve consumed to live a vibrant life.

This broad application makes mindful eating a powerful tool for creating a healthier, happier relationship with food that supports optimal well-being.

Our white paper, Mindful Eating: A Practical Approach to Optimal Eating and Health, was written to shed light on the concept of mindful eating and offer a resource for those interested in learning more about it. It provides a practical description of mindful eating, clears up common myths and confusion about mindful eating, explains how it helps individuals across the health spectrum, and describes a model for implementing mindful eating in virtually any setting.

Watch this one minute video for a brief summary of the white paper, Mindful Eating: A Practical Approach to Optimal Eating and Health, and/or download the complimentary paper now. And feel free to share with others who may benefit!

This article has been updated from a previously published version.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more:

What is Mindful Eating?

The Mindful Eating Cycle

Get off the diet tightrope and on a wide path!

The post Clearing Confusion about Mindful Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

Handling Holiday Eating and Stress: A Recipe for Mindful Eating

Michelle May — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 19:25:00 +0000

The holidays can be a stressful time, especially when added to other stressors that can make you more vulnerable to mindless and emotional eating. In addition to the usual holiday eating and stress, you may also be managing health conditions, so the challenges can feel overwhelming.

Managing holiday eating and stress

It’s important to recognize that the accumulation of multiple triggers can be a set-up—a recipe—for overeating. By understanding the ingredients that make you more vulnerable to holiday eating and stress, you can create a recipe for mindful eating and more balanced holiday celebrations!

Recipe for Overeating

Ingredients:

1 batch, bag, box, or large plate of food
2 tablespoons of deprivation
1 heaping teaspoon of guilt
Sprinkle of shame
Optional: fatigue, stress, resentment, loneliness, boredom

Directions:

Run yourself down physically by not sleeping, exercising, eating when you’re hungry, consuming nutritious foods, or checking your blood glucose if you have diabetes.
Alternatively, wear yourself out by working too hard, being all things to all people, and trying to make everything perfect.
Place emotions on medium-high. Cover and simmer; do not allow steam to escape.
When you crave something you love, remind yourself that it’s bad, fattening, or high in carbs.
When your cravings grow stronger, tell yourself that you’re bad for wanting “bad” food.
Wait until an influential person such as your grandmother or co-worker insists you eat that food anyway to please them.
Alternatively, sneak the food when no one is watching.
Sit down in front of the T.V. or choose another activity to distract yourself while you eat.
Before eating, garnish the food with guilt. If it’s still enjoyable, stir in some shame to ensure that the food is completely ruined.
Eat as quickly as possible to avoid tasting or enjoying the food.
You’re done when you feel sick and uncomfortable.
Repeat steps 1-11 until can’t stand it anymore. Try the Recipe for Mindful Eating.

Recipe for Mindful Eating

Ingredients:

1 or 2 servings of food you love
2 tablespoons of hunger
1 heaping teaspoon each of intention and attention
Sprinkle of trust
Optional: pleasure, enjoyment, celebration, tradition

Directions:

Care for yourself physically by getting adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
Create a self-care buffer zone by regularly nurturing your body, mind, heart, and spirit.
When you’re hungry, consider what you want, what you need, and what you have to eat before choosing food.
Decide how you want to feel when you’re finished eating; serve yourself accordingly (or adjust the portion if someone else served you).
When the food you crave isn’t particularly healthful, omit all guilt and shame and include the desired food in your meal plan. Remind yourself that all foods fit when you practice balance, variety, and moderation.
Sit down to eat and minimize distractions.
Savor the appearance, aromas, textures, and flavors as you eat.
Eat slowly and mindfully for maximal enjoyment from every bite.
Stop when you feel content and energetic.
Repeat steps 1-9 for the remainder of your life.

To learn more about the differences between overeating and mindful eating, download chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle.

Download a printable version of the recipes by clicking the image below!

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:

Rewrite those ridiculous “How to prevent holiday weight gain” articles

Handling Holiday Head Hunger

Don’t be good; feel good!

Updated from a previously published version.

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Ban the words “indulge” and “cheat”

Michelle May — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 21:00:00 +0000

A participant in one of my Am I Hungry? workshops said, “Those 100-calorie ice cream bars are really good! I ate four.” We all had a good laugh, then talked about how portion-controlled snacks and “guilt-free” treats often backfire. Let’s talk about why words like indulge and cheat send the wrong message.

Diet-culture promotes a rigid, guilt-inducing, good-food, bad-food approach to eating that often has exactly the opposite effect from what was intended. The “experts” tell you to substitute, earn, cheat, or indulge in order to eat what you love.

Most people don’t recognize the power food has over us when we’re encouraged to deprive ourselves of foods we enjoy. Don’t underestimate the power of the words used to describe your eating!

A non-diet, mindfulness-based, weight-neutral approach teaches you to be the expert instead!

Words like “indulge” and “cheat” send the wrong message

We often hear diet-advice about “how to indulge in sweets and stay on your diet” that sounds like this:

Photo credit: Sebastian Gomez, Unsplash

It’s OK to indulge yourself once in awhile.
Exercise more so you can have a treat.
Treat yourself every now and then.
Don’t beat yourself up when you cheat; just start over.
Plan a cheat day so you can eat what you want.
Give in to your craving for chocolate with one small square every day.
Eat dark chocolate instead; it’s better for you.
Splurge on a special occasion then get right back on track.
Substitute a guilt-free snack like fruit instead.

This seemingly permissive advice is loaded with restrictive messages!

Believing you are “indulging” in sweets can backfire!

Consider the underlying meaning and possible implications of the words used in the phrases above:

Photo credit: Bill Oxford, Unsplash.

Indulge: spoiled, too lenient
Exercise more: earning, conditional
Treat (noun): childish prize for being good
Treat (verb): scarce reward
Cheat: sneaky, dishonest, deceptive, shameful, bad
Start over: this is a game, not a lifelong process
Give in: surrender, concede defeat, weakness
Better for you: justification, rationalization
Splurge: excessive, gluttonous
Back on track: eating what you love is “off track” and therefore bad
Substitute: you can’t eat what you love
Guilt-free: If you eat certain foods, you should feel guilty

Diet-y messages lead to paradoxical overeating and guilt

Even though some expert gave you “permission” to eat a limited amount of a favorite sweet like chocolate, these diet-y messages feed unconscious feelings of judgment and deprivation that may lead to paradoxical overeating.

The perception that you are “cheating” when you eat sweets makes it more difficult to stop once you start. Since “they” gave you an inch but you took a mile, you’ll feel out of control and guilty. This reinforces your belief (and theirs) that you need to be limited or even prohibited from “indulging” in your favorite “bad” foods.

Learn to trust your inner expert

Don’t allow external experts to set artificial and arbitrary boundaries around eating your favorite foods. Instead, learn to trust your internal expert to eat what you love and love what you eat.

Here are five mindful eating principles that help you learn to trust your inner expert:

Awareness: Notice when you use diet-y words and phrases like those in the list above. Don’t judge or shame yourself. It’s a habit you’ve likely practiced for a long time, so it may take time to break the pattern.
Curiosity: How often do you say or hear phrases like those above? How do you think or feel when you hear them? Does it help or make things worse?
Nonjudgment: Instead of using judgmental words like “indulge” or “splurge,” just say “eat.” Don’t “cheat;” just choose. You take the power back when you simply choose to eat certain foods.
The middle way: All foods can fit in a balanced diet. Let go of “good-food, bad-food” thinking.
Compassion: When you feel physically uncomfortable after eating, don’t beat yourself up and add to the discomfort! Instead, be gentle with yourself and see what you can learn about the situation.

Learn more about a non-diet, mindfulness-based, weight-neutral approach that teaches you to be the expert instead!

This article is updated from a previous version.

If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:

Is Sugar Addictive?

Got Cravings? Three Words to Eliminate from Your Vocabulary

Regret and Her Horrible Twin, Guilt

The post Ban the words “indulge” and “cheat” appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

How do you make time to eat mindfully?

Erica Bartlett — Thu, 04 Sep 2025 20:23:00 +0000

“What’s so great about eating a meal mindfully? Don’t you get bored eating without doing something else? How do you make time to eat mindfully?”

These are common questions about mindful eating, so I thought the best way to answer them is to describe how this works for me. This example happened on a Saturday, when I wanted to reclaim mindful eating for myself after a busy workweek.

I had a light breakfast after my walk then spent a couple of hours cleaning up the yard after some heavy storms. By midday, I definitely felt hungry, having a sort of “running on empty” sensation. From experience, I know being hungry helps me appreciate my food even more. As Michelle May says, “Hunger is the best seasoning.”

I prepared a salad, including green beans, blanched red onions, almond cheddar cheese, quinoa, with a nice dressing. As I put it together, I paused to admire the colors; the lovely greens of the beans and parsley, pinkish-red onions, and the orange cheese. I smelled each ingredient, anticipating how they would taste.

Before eating, I took a moment to be grateful for my food, as well as for being in a cool house, dry house during this muggy season.

Then I began to eat, focusing on my food. First I noticed the flavors. The onions gave a hint of sweetness, the vinegar a touch of acidity, all blending with the other flavors to form a lovely whole. Then I paid attention to the textures. The beans had a slight snap, which added a nice crispness that contrasted with the creaminess of the cheese.

Then memories came up, triggered by the food. I remembered growing up, helping pick and snap green beans with my mom. I thought about the farmers who grew the onions, and wondered who came up with the idea of making “cheese” out of almonds for those who can’t or don’t eat dairy.

I ended my meal with an apple. As I took small bites, appreciating the crunch as well as perfect balance of sweet and tart, I looked at the trees swaying in the buffeting wind and thought about apple picking. I realized that the orchards where I like to pick endured the same weather, and that this apple was a testament to everything its parent tree survived in order to produce it. How miraculous, too, that the small seeds within could produce yet another tree, and yet more apples.

I also noticed how the food affected my body. I could literally feel the bites nourishing me, my energy returning as I chewed and swallowed, replacing the emptiness with a sense of well-being and focus.

Finishing it all off with a cup of herbal tea, I felt replenished in so many ways. I had gained energy not only from the food but from the mindfulness of it, of allowing myself time to truly engage in what I was doing and appreciate it in all aspects.

This served as a useful reminder to me about why eating mindfully is important, especially when I feel like I don’t have time, because that’s when I need these moments of tranquility and recharging the most!

This article is updated from a previous version.

If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:

Sensuous Eating: Make eating a multisensory experience

Eating alone

It’s a fad and 6 other Myths about Mindful Eating

The post How do you make time to eat mindfully? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

Help for emotional eating

Michelle May — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 20:33:47 +0000

Emotional eating is one of the most common challenges our clients deal with on a day to day basis! On one hand, emotional connections to food are woven into the fabric of human existence. On the other hand, food is a readily accessible way to manage emotions quickly–soothe them, or shove them down.

So, we curated some great resources–including audio, video, articles, and other resources–to help with emotional eating.

Emotional Eating Q&A

During this live session, Drs. May and Anderson answered your questions about emotional eating and binge eating.
Click here to listen…

Caught in Endless Cycle of Emotional Eating and Dieting

Do you feel trapped in a vicious cycle of emotional eating and dieting? You are not alone; there are some common themes we hear from others who struggle with emotional eating.
Read article…

A Compassionate Response to Emotional Eating

What if the first step to breaking the cycle of emotional eating, guilt, and shame is self-compassion instead of self-criticism? How might that help? And more important, where do you start?
Read article…

Embrace Emotional Eating

If you feel your emotional connection to food is causing problems for you, these suggestions may help you bring emotional eating back into balance.
Read article…

Why do we turn to food?

In this video, Am I Hungry? founder, Michelle May M.D. shares her story, and asks the question, “Why do we turn to food?”
Watch video…

How to Decode Emotional Eating

In this video, Dr. May teaches us how to decode emotional eating using a simple script to recognize and meet your underlying needs more effectively than with food.
Watch video…

The Hidden Trigger for Emotional Eating

This hidden trigger for emotional eating is part of a vicious eat-repent-repeat cycle. No matter how smart you are or how many diets you try, this trigger only gets worse over time.
Watch video…

Emotional Eating vs. Binge Eating

What is the difference between emotional eating and binge eating? There’s a lot of overlap and confusion so these definitions and insights help clear it up.
Read article…

The Table: A Mindful Eating Support Community

Mindful eating is a journey, not a destination! This community is a place people can go when they need help resolving their eating challenges, no matter where they are along the process.
Learn more…

The post Help for emotional eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

Caught in an Endless Cycle of Emotional Eating and Dieting

Michelle May — Thu, 07 Aug 2025 17:16:00 +0000

Have you experienced anything like Connie, who feels trapped in a vicious cycle of emotional eating and dieting, leaving her feeling confused and hopeless.

“My diet started with the best of intentions and a perfect breakfast: a half-cup of steel cut oatmeal with blueberries, a hard-boiled egg, and coffee with a quarter cup of skim milk. Before I left for work, I took the time to pack my lunch of mixed greens with cucumbers, tomatoes, and a three ounce chicken breast, with light vinaigrette. I even brought my exercise clothes so I could go to Zumba after work. I felt like I was finally back in control. If I stuck to my diet plan, I would buy myself a bathing suit for my summer vacation.

“When I got to work there was an email from my boss asking me to stop by his office before lunch. I worried about that meeting all morning long and during it, my worst fears were confirmed: I had missed a deadline. I was humiliated. How did I let that happen?

“I was relieved when my co-workers asked if I wanted to go to lunch with them. I needed to get out of there. We ended up at my favorite hamburger place, but even a combo didn’t make me feel much better—just stuffed and almost out of points. I felt guilty as I passed by the refrigerator at the end of the day and remembered my salad. I’d failed again! I couldn’t do anything right. I changed my mind about going to Zumba. I’d already blown it today.

“On the way home I remembered that Ron and the kids were going to a ball game and I felt a rush of excitement. I would be able to eat whatever I wanted! I picked up a large pizza. I put on my sweat pants and turned on the TV to zone out for a while. No deadlines, no points, no summer bathing suits.

“I was vaguely aware of the pain in my stomach but I just couldn’t stop eating until the whole pizza was gone. I was stuffed after eating it, but I felt calm. Afterward I sat there feeling stunned and sick. I felt a wave of rage, then shame that I’d let this happen again. It was hopeless.

“Then reality clicked in; my family would be home soon. I gathered up the evidence and walked it down to my neighbor’s garbage can. I was in bed with a book when my husband came home. I turned out the light to hide the tears streaming down my face.”

Emotional eating is a common problem – but dieting won’t stop it

Connie’s story is the opening to Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship to Food and Your Body. We’ve heard similar stories from many of the people we’ve worked with.

Here are some of common themes we see among those who struggle with emotional eating:

They are smart, accomplished people (some of us are even doctors!).
They are extremely frustrated that while they’ve mastered other areas of their lives, their eating continues to stymie them.
Most of them have tried a lot of different diets, medications, or even bariatric surgery, and experienced temporary success numerous times. That only adds to their shame and frustration.
Most harbor extreme shame about their emotional eating. Camerin Ross Ph.D. described her past experiences with shame: “Every time I unconsciously ate in solitude and hid the evidence, I built layers of shame over one of my basic human needs: eating for enjoyment. I learned to resent eating for nutrition and craved moments alone when I could eat whatever I wanted in the privacy of my own mind where I was safe and alone.”
As a result of the shame, nearly all have been very secretive about their struggle.
Nearly all of them dislike or even hate their bodies – no matter what size or shape they are! (I assure you people of all sizes struggle with emotional eating and you absolutely cannot know about a person’s relationship to food or their body by looking at them, as Nesha’s story shows us.)
Many of them said that they had all but given up on ever finding a way to heal their relationship with food and their body and some said Mindful Eating for Emotional and Binge Eating was a last-ditch effort.

Claim the big life you crave!

Do you struggle with a nearly endless cycle of emotional eating and dieting? Do you sometimes binge eat? Do you want to heal your relationship with food and your body? Do you wish you felt more in charge of your eating – and your life?

Learn how Mindful Eating for Emotional and Binge Eating will help you:

Stop obsessing about food, eating, and your weight.
Learn how to interpret your needs through the language of your emotions.
End mindless and emotional eating.
Become the expert in yourself – knowing when, what, and how much to eat without rules or restriction.
Eat the foods you love without fear, guilt, or bingeing.
Never again exercise to earn food or punish yourself for eating.
Build your self-care buffer zone and nurture your body, mind, and spirit.
Feed your appetite for life!

This article has been updated from a previous version.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:

The hidden trigger for emotional eating

Emotional eating versus binge eating

Don’t stop emotional eating! Learn from it instead.

The post Caught in an Endless Cycle of Emotional Eating and Dieting appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

3 essential phases to solve your eating problems

Michelle May — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 17:00:15 +0000

I asked about the biggest eating problem you wish you could solve, and based on your responses, it’s clear that most are caused by a combination of restrictive eating (aka dieting) and eating for emotional and other reasons. (Read more about that here.) So, the obvious question is, what do you do about it? In this post, I’ll cover the three essential phases for solving these eating problems, so you’ll finally have food freedom.

1. Relearn to listen to your body wisdom

A common theme among people who struggle with food is a disconnect between the desire to eat and their body’s needs. In other words, you often eat (or continue to eat) when your body doesn’t need food.

That’s why the first phase of resolving your eating problems is learning to recognize, listen to, and trust your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. It sounds simple, but it’s admittedly not easy if you’ve forgotten how!

The good news is that you were born with this instinctive ability and it can be relearned! And the best news is that when you do, you’ll:

be able to tell the difference between physical hunger and “head hunger.”
respond when you feel like eating due to boredom, stress, and other triggers.
stop thinking about food all the time.
“undo” invisible outdated messages, like “clean your plate” that sabotage you.
stop eating when you’ve had enough (even when it’s delicious!).

2. Eat what you love without guilt or loss of control

If you’re like many people I work with, you may not realize how past dieting has fed into your eating problems. (Yes, pun intended.) In fact, you might even be afraid to let go of diet rules because you’re afraid you’ll lose control.

But don’t you lose control anyway?

That’s the irony… the harder you try to control your eating (calories, carbs, portion sizes, and so on), the more difficult it becomes to eat in a way that is satisfying and effortless over the long run. Sure you can do it for a while (hours, weeks, sometimes years), but eventually stress, hunger, food noise, deprivation, and cravings win out.

By learning how to eat “fearlessly” without restriction or guilt, you’ll finally:

break-up with toxic diet culture and take the power back from food.
feel more in charge of your eating decisions.
stop thinking of foods as “good” or “bad” (or yourself as good or bad depending on what you ate).
stop the food noise.
eat in a more balanced, consistent way.
consider nutrition information without feeling overwhelmed.

3. Master Your Triggers for Emotional Eating

The third essential phase of food freedom is to identify and manage your eating triggers, like stress, boredom, celebrations, and many more.

This is the most challenging phase for most people – but it’s also the most freeing. This is because when you learn to care for yourself better than food can, you free up your energy to live your life more fully. (And then, food just becomes a great way to add more pleasure to your life.)

During this phase, you’ll:

identify, name, and manage stress and other emotions.
calm and comfort yourself when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
banish shame and stop eating secretly.
make connections between your triggers, beliefs, and habits that create your results.
write a “script” for determining your true needs.
deconstruct an Overeating Cycle to figure out what happened – and what you’ll do differently next time.
cultivate curiosity and self-compassion for lasting change.

What’s your next step?

Join me, Dr. Michelle May, for the Eat Mindfully Live Vibrantly Program! Learn more here.

The post 3 essential phases to solve your eating problems appeared first on Am I Hungry?.

The 2 biggest reasons you have eating problems

Michelle May — Wed, 09 Jul 2025 18:46:31 +0000

I recently asked, “If you could solve just one of your biggest eating problems, what would it be.” While it may seem there are many reasons you have eating problems, they fall into two main categories. In fact, most eating problems are caused by a combination of these two reasons. And until these two issues are resolved, they will continue to affect your eating.

The good news is there are just three main things you need to learn to finally have food freedom. And, surprise! They are addressed in our mindful eating programs. (I’ll talk about those three things in my next post.)

Reason 1: Past dieting and restrictive eating

Restrictive eating is perhaps the most surprising reason you struggle with your eating. It’s surprising because you probably started dieting to solve your eating problems!

Erin described it this way: “I find myself relying on non-existent self-control when it comes to having “just a taste” of the foods that I find highly palatable (sweets, carbs, chocolate, breads, etc.). I overeat and feel miserable and that starts the cycle of shame, guilt, and deprivation.”

Eating problems caused by past dieting

Here are some of the biggest eating problems you want to solve that are due to past dieting (or a combination of past dieting and emotional eating – see Reason 2):

How to stop having the diet thoughts, example, calorie counting.
How not to eat when I’m not hungry.
Overeating – I don’t feel I’ve had enough unless I feel stuffed.
Never feeling satisfied.

While dieting seems to help these problems short term (confirming the belief that you should keep trying it), in the long run, restrictive eating backfires. Dieting and restriction lead to physical and psychological changes that contribute to, or even cause, your eating problems.

Read this article for details and references about why dieting causes eating problems: Top Ten Reasons to Stop Dieting.

Reason 2: Eating for emotions and other triggers

The second reason you have eating problems is that you are using food in an attempt to meet other needs. This problem develops for many reasons, but solving it not only helps with your eating, it helps you meet those needs more effectively!

And to be clear, attempting another diet or restriction does not solve this problem; it makes it worse!

D’Ann described her challenge: “My main issue is wanting to snack in the evenings when I’m not hungry. I would be very happy if I could conquer this. It sometimes seems insurmountable. The pull is so strong. It’s magnetic. It takes a lot of strength, and sometimes I just don’t have it.”

Eating problems due to emotions and other triggers

Most of the other eating problems you want to solve are connected to emotions and other triggers (again, compounded by past attempts to diet to stop these triggers; see Reason 1):

Evening eating when not hungry.
Emotional eating, from stress to celebration, there are many times I eat when I’m not hungry.
Letting my emotions control me instead of being in charge of them.
Emotional eating. I eat when procrastinate.
Like so many others, eating out of boredom. I’m not sure I even know what hunger feels like anymore.
What to do to stop stuffing sweets when I feel frustrated or otherwise upset.
How to stop using food to feel safe when I’m tense.
Eating for reasons other than hunger (stress/deadlines, loneliness, boredom, anxiety/frustration).
Late night urge to eat, usually before bedtime.
Eating when I have pain. Snacking after 8pm.
Eating at various times throughout the day when I just feel unsettled, and I am not hungry.

This is a big topic we spend a lot of time on in our mindful eating programs, but here’s a little food for thought: Don’t stop emotional eating! Learn from it instead and Why emotional eating can be so persistent

In this next post, I’ll talk about the three essential phases so solve your eating problems to finally have food freedom.

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