I needed this kind of mental break to take my mind off of, for one thing, the sheer horror of today’s economic situation and how we are So Freaking Doomed (SFD).

Finally, I happened to catch a moment on CNBC just where Larry Kudlow was correctly making fun of Greece for saying that it will raise taxes and cut spending in an effort to get its ludicrous deficits and preposterous budget under control, and he had a deliciously snotty, supercilious, sarcastic attitude (the True Mogambo Way!) towards the idea of raising taxes and reducing spending as an economic stimulus of some kind! Hahaha!

I was with him all the way, too! And I had a few choice things that I wanted to say to Greece, too! Most of my complaints about Greece are about how Greek salads always seem to come with a damned oil and vinegar dressing that is terrible until you add some sugar, then it’s pretty good, so why in the hell don’t they add sugar to start with, the lazy bastards? God knows they had the money!

And then to add sour ripe olives to the mix – which is more of the same, only worse! – makes me want to jump to my feet and shout, “What is the matter with Greeks that they would they would do such a terrible thing to an otherwise delicious salad?”

So with Mr. Kudlow on the case to make sure that Greece gets its act together, I am sure that their deficit problem will soon be resolved, and this salad dressing thing will soon be a thing of the past, too, which may be part of the reason why I thought he was really good for about, oh, three seconds, which is about as long as the average period of time that I usually agree with Mr. Kudlow, or my wife, or my kids, or my boss, about anything.

The aforementioned three seconds during which I agreed with Mr. Kudlow is because he said something scornful in a rapier-like rebuttal, something like “Raising taxes and cutting spending is not the answer!” which is true.

But it is only true because there IS no answer! To even ridiculously assume that someone can come up with a plan to dissolve consumers’ debt and simultaneously pay off their creditors – the fabled “win-win” situation! – is ludicrous! Hahaha! Beyond ludicrous! Hahaha!

Mr. Kudlow and his little panel of “experts”, however, ignore my scornful laughter and the way that Icky Mogambo Spittle (IMS) shot from my lips, and implied that there really is a solution to this problem out there, somewhere, anywhere, maybe over here, maybe over here, which would marvelously, and magically, enable debtors to get rid of their debts without paying anybody anything, and creditors to get all their money back without being paid anything by anybody! Hahahaha!

But I understand that it’s Mr. Kudlow’s job to take positions on monetary, fiscal and economic policy that are the opposite of mine, because my job is to stay away from the majority, and his job is to get people to join the majority.

My position is so antagonistic because in these three cases, “the majority is always wrong.”

The majority is wrong in encouraging monetary insanity by always yammering for more and more monstrous Federal Reserve money-creation to buy the fiscal insanity of Congress’s avalanche of new government debt to fund Obama’s spendthrift imbecilities, which will cause inflation in prices, which is The One Big Freaking Thing (TOBFT) that you don’t ever, ever, ever want to have, which means that you can never, never, never allow excessive amounts of money to be created in the first place.

The majority is wrong on economics because they still, laughably, believe in the proverbial “free lunch”, a childish fiction where somebody gets something and nobody has to pay for it, and the majority are willing to bankrupt themselves, and destroy their own country, by letting Congress try to provide a free lunch to anyone and everyone who walks up with a hand out or a sad story.

And the biggest reason to go against the majority is in investing, because it’s less than a zero-sum game, and thus the majority must lose money and be bled dry by a ghoulish financial services industry (that is so large that it makes up 70% of all profits made in the country, and thus pays most of the taxes, which are actually paid by the “investors”) so that a minority of people (hopefully, me!) can make money despite being bled dry by the financial services industry and despite paying taxes on the gains. “Investing for the long term!” Hahahaha! I snort with derision! Snort!

So you can see why my natural anti-establishment makes me pound the table for gold and silver simply because the majority ignores them!

Okay, the real reason is that today’s dire economic condition, due to a staggeringly incompetent government and incompetent citizenry, has been played out thousands of times in the last 4,500 years, and in each case, the only thing that saved anyone’s butt was gold and silver.

There are those, of course, who say, “That explains why you are buying gold and silver, but it does not explain why you are always screaming at people to invest in oil, as well as in gold and silver.”

Well, since you asked, I say invest in oil because it has the most energy per cubic centimeter, and now that it is used in practically everything everywhere, nobody in the industrialized world can live without lots and lots of it, with guaranteed continual rising demand, but it is being rapidly depleted. Rising demand and falling supply? Who could ask for more in an investment?

As for those who go on to say, “Well, that is pretty convincing, alright, but it doesn’t explain why you are such a hateful, disrespectful, little creep”, I admit that, no, it doesn’t.

Bet Against the Majority. Buy Gold. originally appeared in the Daily Reckoning.

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Winning on a global scale in finance and in movies has some common features : it involves raw materials like human capital, top end computer technology, freedom of speech, openness to other cultures, a large home market, the natural opportunities of connecting up with the disapora, and Schumpeterian creative destruction.

With all these in place, Bombay’s movie industry is nicely globalising itself. Finance requires all these – and that bodes well for BIFC. But finance requires a few more things. It requires sophisticated financial regulation, and a sound macroeconomic policy framework. It requires that the government get out of producing financial services just as the government does not produce movies. India has a tonne of work to do on these.

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South Korea and Japan are both home to large numbers of United States troops and neither are going to invite a nuclear attack.  The Kuomintang, which the US backed, retreated to Taiwan when they lost power and China still asserts their ownership over the tiny island and the US continues to honor their agreement to defend Taiwan.  Russia has been discharging dollars and acquiring gold while Brazil is bucking the buck.  Neither China nor India have significant reported physical gold holdings; they need a hedge to the major currency illusions.  In my book The Great Credit Contraction the liquidity pyramid represents the FRN$ will be the last major currency to evaporate.

The Euro’s evaporation has increased and ultimately has only one outcome.  Sure, Germany wants to retain its voice on the world stage and is faced with a Hobson’s choice of bailing out Greece and eventually the other unproductive free-riding members of the Euro or let the Euro evaporate and lose their relevance on the world stage because Germany only matters if Europe as a whole matters.

CREDIT DEFAULT SWAPS

But the Damocles sword of credit default swaps, which is falling toward’s Greece, can, ultimately, be measured only against gold because gold is no-one’s liability.  Just like the Chinese have feigned their interest in acquiring gold; many sophisticated investors have feigned ignorance of gold’s monetary role.  Many sophisticated investors, like George Soros who broke the Bank of England doubled his gold position in Q1 2010, Paul Tudor of Tudor Investments, John Paulson, David Einhorn, Eric Sprott, Jim Rogers, Peter Schiff, John Embry and many others are likewise allocating their capital based on the premise that gold is a major world currency.

Even Janet Tavakoli, a former adjunct associate professor of derivatives at the University of Chicago’s Graduate School of Business, and author of six books on derivatives recently wrote:

U.S. credit default swaps currently trade in euros. After all, if the U.S. defaults, who will want payment in devalued U.S. dollars? The euro recently weakened relative to the dollar, and market participants are calling for contracts that require payment in gold. If they get their way, speculators on the winning side of a price move will demand collateral paid in gold.

The market can create an unlimited number of these contracts very rapidly. The U.S. wouldn’t have to ever default to trigger a major disruption in the gold market.

The fiat currency and fractional reserve banking system is merely a confidence game built on an illusion and fraud.  Fiat currency is to be valued like the common stock of a government and in gold.  As such the current system will end and holder’s of capital will demand to be shown the money.  Just ask Harry Reid about karma.

The price of gold in evaporating currencies would not so much create a disruption in the gold market as cause a serious loss of confidence in the current system which would result in a tremendous increase in gold’s liquidity, hopefully through use by individuals in ordinary daily activities like what happened in Zimbabwe last year.  After all, who really needs to use fiat currency illusions and why?  In this case, we are seeing both China and India demanding to see the IMF’s gold, the Damocles sword jitters and there is only one protection.  Assets with intrinsic value.

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In a news item today, I saw Domino’s say that they have 300 branches in India and will go up to roughly 500 in three years. With RBI giving out permissions for all foreign banks (put together) to open 18 branches in India a year, this means we’ll soon have more outlets of Domino’s in India than all foreign banks put together.

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Turning to the old tried and true, I soon learned that I had started too late, and I was not nearly drunk enough to have properly anesthetized my nerves when I chanced to read Agora Financial’s 5- Minute Forecast report that “The CBO’s latest numbers reveal that President Obama’s proposed fiscal 2011 budget would add $9.7 trillion to the national debt over the next 10 years.”

My hands shook and my guts churned at the horrific prospect of adding $9.7 trillion to the money supply, which means (I gulp in horror at the prospect) inflation in pieces like you never saw! Yikes!

I mean, (my voice rising in pitch and volume) the entire GDP of the USA is about $14 trillion, and the government wants to increase, over ten years, government spending by 70% of everything that this country currently makes!

Apparently eager to change the subject since I seem to be getting worked up about this and could, possibly, probably, almost certainly, damned near guaranteed, erupt into some loud Mogambo Hysterical Tirade (MHT) and make a shambles of everything, The 5 says, “Further, the CBO projects the national debt will be 90% of GDP by the end of this decade”, which I guess they thought would calm me down or something, but it didn’t, which was bad enough to cause me to have chest pains accompanied by loud howls of pain and outrage in another tiresome Screaming Mogambo Fit (SMF), but then went on to make it all worse by saying that debt will equal 90% of GDP, which is “higher than the 83.4% recorded at the end of fiscal 2009 last fall.”

Suddenly, there was an uproar as I jumped to my feet and shouted “What kind of bizarre crap is that? The national debt is already $12.5 trillion in a $14 trillion economy, and somehow you add $9.7 trillion to $12.5 trillion to get 90% of the economy which means that …that…that…”

Well, I knew what I meant to say, but did not have a calculator handy, and the security guards had me by the arms and were hustling me out of the room pretty quick.

I later found out that what I meant to say, but did not have the figures handy, is that this means that the CBO thinks that, unbelievably, in ten short years, a staggering $22 trillion of national debt will be 90% of the economy, which means that the CBO thinks that the economy in ten years will be, I gulp to report, $24 trillion, which is a whopping 71% higher than today! I am stunned!

What can one say but, “We are freaking doomed!”

Perhaps hearing my plaintive voice with its unmistakable undertone of angry paranoia and wanting me to calm down, The 5 says, “We’re 100% certain this comment will elicit the customary response: ‘Look at Japan, its debt is 170% of GDP…and it’s been running massive deficits for years!’”

I think to myself, “Okay, they just take time to raise the blade of the guillotine higher and higher, but the end result will be the same, and if anyone thinks that Japan proves otherwise, then I laugh the Mogambo Laugh Of Scorn (MLOS) at them and turn around to wave my buttocks in their faces in a final fillip of disrespect!”

The 5, in what I imagine is said with a deliciously snotty tone, says, “To which we can only sigh and respond: ‘Exactly.’”

Well, I can do more than that, because I am, after all, The Loudmouth Mogambo (TLM)! And I say that if all prices doubled, today, GDP (which measures spending) would instantly double, too! Hahahaha! Everything costs twice as much, but the economy looks like it boomed! Hahahaha! Welcome to Inflationary Hell!

I often marvel that it’s a good thing that the poor are usually ignorant or stupid, because if they could, or would, comprehend how this huge explosion of money is going to make prices rise and make them enormously poorer and more miserable, worse and worse, and probably for the rest of their lives, they would go freaking berserk.

As for the middle class, they are supposed to be smart and educated enough to know this stuff, but they don’t, and so they don’t understand the sheer enormity of how much poorer and miserable they will be for decades to come, either, and they will suffer, too.

Then there are those of us who are buying gold, silver and oil to protect ourselves against the ruinous, crushing, cataclysmic inflation in prices that this inflation in the money supply, and debt, will cause, because then, for us, it all becomes idle dilettantism and pleasure, which is, once you boil it down, the whole point of investing, isn’t it?

And could anything be easier? Whee! This investing stuff is easy!

CBO Budget Projections and the Horrors of Inflation originally appeared in the Daily Reckoning.

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The Manpower Employment Outlook Survey is conducted quarterly to measure employers’ intentions to increase or decrease the number of employees in their workforce during the next quarter. It is the most extensive forward-looking survey of its kind, unparalleled in its size, scope, longevity and area of focus. The Survey has been running for more than 45 years and is one of the most trusted surveys of employment activity in the world. The Manpower Employment Outlook Survey is based on interviews with over 61,000 public and private employers worldwide and is considered a highly respected economic indicator.

According to the Survey released on Tuesday, employers in most major labor markets expect to hire in the second quarter at a pace equal to, or stronger than, the same period last year.

Many employers have yet to reach their pre-downturn hiring pace, but prospects in the Asia Pacific, the Americas, Europe, and the US, are all registering modest improvements compared to three months ago and the same period last year. Employer hiring intentions are strongest in India, Brazil and Taiwan.

In the US, nearly three-quarters of employers surveyed say they plan to keep staff levels stable, Manpower said, while 12 of 13 industry sectors surveyed said they plan to add staff during the second-quarter. “We continue to see encouraging signs in hiring activity in the U.S.,” said Manpower CEO Jeff Joerres in a statement. “Key industries such as manufacturing and construction are seeing notable improvements on a year-over-year basis.”

The Manpower survey shows employers in 27 of 36 countries and territories expect some positive hiring activity in the second quarter. Employers in Panama were surveyed for the first time this quarter and report upbeat hiring plans for the next three months.

Of the 10 countries surveyed in the Americas region, hiring plans are stronger in comparison to one year ago in all countries where year-over-year data is available and stronger in six countries quarter-over-quarter. Regional hiring plans are again strongest in Brazil, Costa Rica and Peru. At the same time, hiring expectations from U.S. employers are stronger than those reported in the second quarter of 2009.

The survey adds to a mounting list of evidence that labor markets have turned the corner with healthy net US job additions in the months to come.

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His story starts off that “The FDIC is even more broke than it was three months ago” to which most people rudely say, “Welcome to the club! Waddya think, we got some kind of picnic at the beach going on out here in the real world while you pretty-face hotshots talk about who is smarter and about some idiot named Mogambo who must be an idiot because otherwise he would not have such a stupid name!”

Mr. Wiggin goes on undaunted, perhaps buoyed by the knowledge that no matter what happens, he’ll still be better looking than The Mogambo. And smarter, too. And younger.

Maybe that’s why he did not seem to be registering horror at the news of the bankruptcy of the FDIC, and, as if to underscore my suspicions, you can almost hear the confidence in his voice as he explains, “The fund the FDIC uses to ‘insure’ your bank account went $20.9 billion in the red during the fourth quarter of 2009. That’s more than twice the deficit reported when the fund first entered negative territory in the previous quarter.”

Naturally, if these were the old days when the money supply was more-or-less constant, this would cause panic: “Our bank deposits are uninsured! Yikes! The Mogambo said we’d be wiped out and here it is, and he said to buy gold, silver and oil, and we didn’t, and now look at us! Oh, woe!”

But nowadays? Relax! We have a fiat currency that the Federal Reserve can, literally, create at will, at a stroke, all the money necessary to make sure that every Last Freaking Dollar (LFD) dollar in your account is fully protected against actual nominal loss; you had an electronic or paper buck, you will still have and electronic or paper buck!

Unfortunately (and you can tell there is a “catch” by the way the soundtrack suddenly turns gloomy and there seems to be the sound of somebody, in the distance, throwing up into a toilet) this huge, sustained increase in the money supply guarantees – guarantees! – that you will lose buying power in every one of your precious dollars, so you are kind of screwed, either way, when you stop and think about it, by Federal Reserve policies.

My Sensitive Mogambo Nose (SMN) detects (sniff, sniff, sniff!) detects panic. So, desperate for money, I look to prey on the superstitious, and suggest that maybe you should just send all of your “tainted” money to me so that my hoodlum friends and I can have a big ol’ party, where we will raise our glasses in a long series of toasts to you, to your health, and to your good luck because – hey! – attracting the attention of deities, paranormal powers, transcendental influences and cosmic forces could, conceivably, work!

Mr. Wiggin is not enthusiastic about my latest rip-off scam, which I suggest only because I am out of ideas and I am desperate for money. He suggests a perfectly legal and good way to get some money, which is, “As long as banks can continue to borrow from the Fed at 0.25% and park it in 10-year Treasuries for nearly 3.7% (and leverage it up, of course), we don’t see this changing”!

He’s right, of course, but before you rush out to start a bank and get your piece of this Federal Reserve stupidity, perhaps you should consider something along the lines of buying gold, silver and oil in some kind of wild, paranoid, knee-jerk reflex as a small, small part of a whole constellation of symptoms known collectively as Screaming Fear Of Outrage (SFOO) of the inflation that will be caused by such massive increases in the money supply, now additionally caused by the needs of the FDIC, but he goes on that it will get worse than that, as, “On top of that, the FDIC’s list of ‘problem banks’ grew during the fourth quarter from 552 to 702” he says! Yikes!

A long, haunting howl of dismay escapes my lips, perhaps not unlike the sound of ravenous, starving wolves howling, “oooOOOOOOooooooooh!” as they close in on your bloody trail as you crawl along, dressed in rags, wounded, bleeding, in the snow, at night, in the mountains, in a snow storm, with freezing sleet, and you realize that you can’t buy them off with your paper fiat money, but with a flash of True Mogambo Enlightenment (TME) that has come tragically too late, you realize that with the heft of a kilogram of gold in your hand, you can beat the living hell out of anything that comes near you that is metaphorically wolf-like in economic nature, or, with literal wolves, something spewing out .45 caliber bullets in a semi-auto fashion, putting us one more leg-up (as if we needed it!) on wolves of the literal kind, with politicians being of the metaphorical kind of ravenous wolves, thus mixing up literal with figurative, back and forth, up and down until you are in a panic, all confused and bewildered, wondering what’s real and what’s not, and your first instinct is to just start blasting, blasting, blasting until your trigger finger is bloody and cramped, and you manage to clear out a “Mogambo Dead Zone Of Safety (MDZOS)” all around you.

And you probably would have, too, if you had not remembered that you bought a lot of gold, silver and oil just to take care of situations like this! And it’s working perfectly! Ahhh!

But this thing about the “FDIC’s list of ‘problem banks’ grew during the fourth quarter from 552 to 702” is, as I notice with alarm, not only a number that is a huge (almost) 50% higher in just one quarter, a statistic which sets my Sensitive Mogambo Senses (SMS) tingling, as with two data points, a desperate-yet-handsome man like myself can quickly, and easily, discern some kind of Trend Of The Ugly Kind (TOTUK), to which I am particularly alert ever since I noticed that the entire freaking course of human history in the world, a world you call Earth, is the sad, stupid story of one stupid country after another borrowing money and getting into debt that they can’t repay, which is always resolved with inflation in prices, a bankruptcy of assets, and a ruinous war with somebody as we attempt to shift the cost of victim-hood from ourselves to foreigners so that there is, indeed, a free lunch for us.

Mr. Wiggin is not impressed with my penetrating analysis, which is in line with what everyone else agrees is pretty stupid and not worth reading or even admitting that they had even read, even in part, but I notice that he immediately takes up on my idea of “trend” that just I mentioned, and – surprise! – he finds, “Hmmm, let’s see. The number grew 27% in just one quarter. At this pace, every bank in the country will be on the problem list by the fourth quarter of 2012.”

An involuntary “Yikes!” escapes my lips. That’s a trend!

I, as are most normal people who understand how this “economics thing” works, am horrified by all of this, and the only saving graces were that I had gold, I had silver, I had oil, and I had enough firepower – within reach! – to provide calming relief to an otherwise paranoid, screaming, hysterical man, such as myself, pumping adrenaline from every pore in his primal outrage at the sheer terror that is being created by the Federal Reserve.

For some reason, I can actually feel your scorn, as you deride what you think is just another paranoid gold-bug gun nut Loonie-Tunes weirdo since the Federal Reserve can just create all the money and credit that the FDIC needs, so why don’t I, as I asked my kids, just shut up?

With that, I thought it was all over, until he went on, “Another tidbit from the FDIC’s report: Bank lending last year dropped at the biggest clip since 1942”, which was the year after we entered World War II, which seems important, but was a long time ago, and we don’t get to watch watching terrific war footage with things blowing up and – blam blam blam blam! – guns are firing! Things are on fire! It’s all exciting as hell!

Instead, we will note, much more soberly, that this is today we are talking about, not some ancient yesterday, and Americans are not the “good guys” bravely freeing Europe by destroying it all so that our industrial advantages are completely spared, but are, instead, the biggest bunch of feel-good, hyper-leftist morons that the world has ever seen where, despite a national emphasis on education, ample historical evidence, and the Constitution of the United States requiring that money be only of gold and silver, the citizens have allowed a pure fiat money and every kind of slimy flimflammery that such unbridled money supply would allow, which was, as you would guess, anything you could imagine.

The bad news is actually beyond that of mere bank lending being down, since nobody (except governments) wants to borrow money, since nobody has the money to buy anything anybody makes, so why invest money to make something that nobody will buy. The worse news is that bank lending is how money is created.

Money is, by definition, being destroyed, so that there is less money around with which to pay debts.

You know, without me telling you, that all this ain’t good! And these are the times when you are glad that you are safely invested in gold, silver and oil, and the only thing you have to worry about is, for instance, the usual stuff of keeping an eye out for party-killing suspicious strangers who may know your wife or boss, checking for suspicious pods growing near where you sleep, and protecting yourself against vampires, werewolves, and other blood-suckers, which leads us back to politicians deficit-spending, which leads us back to the Federal Reserve creating more money, which leads us back to buying gold, silver and oil in fearful response, which leads me back to, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”

Using Gold to Fend of the FDIC and Its “Problem Banks” originally appeared in the Daily Reckoning.

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I was surprised to see how small the market reaction was (this image is from Yahoo Finance):

What am I not understanding?

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(from the FT)

Germany and France are planning to launch a sweeping new initiative to reinforce economic co-operation and surveillance within the eurozone, including the establishment of a European Monetary Fund, according to senior government officials.

Their intention is to set up the rules and tools to prevent any recurrence of instability in the eurozone stemming from the indebtedness of a single member state, such as Greece. The first details of the plan, including support for an EMF modelled on the International Monetary Fund, were revealed at the weekend by Wolfgang Schäuble, the German finance minister.

“I am in favour of stronger co-ordination of economic policies in the EU and in the eurozone,” Mr Schäuble told newspaper Welt am Sonntag.

If France and Germany can agree on such proposals – long urged by Paris – they are likely to set the basis for the most radical overhaul of the rules underpinning the euro since the currency was launched in 1999. The German thinking emerged as George Papandreou, the Greek prime minister, flew to Paris to seek the support of Nicolas Sarkozy, French president, for his government’s drastic austerity programme.

“We must support Greece, because they are making an effort,” Mr Sarkozy said before the meeting. “If we created the euro, we cannot let a country fall that is in the eurozone. Otherwise there was no point in creating the euro.”

His words appeared to underline the greater readiness in France than in Germany to provide some sort of financial support or guarantee for the Greek economy. Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, insisted that no such support had been sought or discussed when she met Mr Papandreou on Friday.

Both France and Germany agree Greece should not turn to the IMF for support, so the idea of an EMF has clear attractions for Paris, though it could hardly be set up in time to help Greece. Mr Schäuble said: “We are not planning a competitor . . . to the IMF, but we do need an institution for the internal equilibrium of the eurozone that would have at its disposal both the experience of the IMF, and comparable intervention mechanisms.”

According to German thinking, the plan could include tough penalties for eurozone members that fail to curb deficit spending or run up excessive government debt. Ideas include cutting off countries that fail to curb deficit spending from EU cohesion funds, temporarily removing their right to vote in EU ministerial meetings and suspension from the eurozone.

Those may prove very difficult for France to swallow, given its own record of greater fiscal laxity than Germany.

Needless to say, this would draw the wrath from Euro skeptics and those, in general, opposed to tighter cooperation among Eurozone member countries. However, as Munchau argues splendid in another FT piece today; a monetary union needs a tight political and fiscal supranational framework to really make it work. Now, we must choose which solution we prefer.

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