ambulo vera

Goodbye blog!

2013-04-03T15:04:00.001-07:00

I've moved to a new URL for posts from my mission. I imported this blog to my new one.

emmaletters.com

Check it out! It's beautiful.

Love,
Emma

real people

2013-03-27T16:37:00.002-07:00

Be prepared for something so confusing but personal. And a ton of sentences that start with "and." And no gramatical correctness at all.

Today I was talking to a student about his freshman year. Honestly, I was being kind of typical about it. Asking the classic questions.

Tell me about your first year, I said. How do you think you've changed?

Changed?

Yeah, you've grown up a little in the past 8 months. What have you learned?

Well...

We talked about it and he gave some really insightful answers.
He realized -

Hey, I have grown up a little bit. I've been doing something noteworthy with my time. Cool!

That's the best part of my job.
And it made me start to think.

Remember when I started this job? I went to a week of training and then they threw to the crowd. And all I had were a bunch of pictures of students with faces. I tried to memorize them all ahead of time but I couldn't do it.

And then we had New Student Orientation.
And I thought - oh my goodness these names have faces. They're real people. Here we go.

And then I sit down to talk with them and I totally fall in love.

Because they're all trying so hard and have such huge aspirations to get perfect GPAs.

And as the semester progresses they're freaking out because that test was a lot harder than high school and that 8 page paper seems so daunting.

And then we meet at the end and we say - you did it. We did it.

I've learned a little bit about love.
Because I can reach out and people can reject me. I have so much to offer them but only they can take it.

Some of them say, "I don't need you. I've got this on my own."

And at first it hurts, because, hey, you don't realize how much of my time I spend thinking about you and ways to help you.

So I've learned a little bit about love. A lot about myself. And a lot more than I'm saying here. But if anything, I've learned that
relationships with people make life rewarding. (At least for me.)

so this is my best friend Kamree
and even though I don't like this pic of me
we are mentors together
we are in the Hub
she has taught me so much about relationships
about loving everyone
and about seeing the best in people

We're not just dealing with names on a page, or faces in a crowd.
We're interacting with real people.

And that my friends, makes life beautiful.

there is a season

2013-03-23T13:35:00.001-07:00

To everything there is a season

and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born,

and a time to die;

a time to plant,

and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill,

and a time to heal

a time to break down,

and a time to build up;

A time to weep,

and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn,

and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones,

and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace,

and a time to refrain from embracing

A time to get,

and a time to lose;

a time to keep,

and a time to cast away

A time to rend

and a time to sew

A time to keep silence

and a time to speak;

A time to love,

and a time to hate;

A time of war,

and a time of peace.

There's a time to write a philosophy paper.

There's a time to go on a mission.

There's a time to someday get married.

But, to everything, there is a season, and a time and every purpose under heaven.

So I'll just have faith in His timing.

(39 days till I go to the MTC!)

But right now I'm gonna find joy in life and get ready and excited for the future but soak up these last 5.5 weeks with music and snow and sunshine and friends and laughing and crying and dancing love and yogurtland and the Roll Up and ice cream and American food and facebook and twitter and instagram. And having a really, really, really good time.

And shopping for mission clothes.

And loving life :)

it's all about relationships

2013-03-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

If you want to find yourself, you need to lose yourself in the lives of other people.
- My Philosophy professor

Relationships with other people are more important than being right.
- My boss at work, Fred.

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

Being angry with someone decreases your quality of life, ya know?
- My friend Taylor (and he probably doesn't even remember when he said that to me, but I won't forget it because I always try to remember it when someone is annoying me :) )

When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror.
- Dieter F Uchtdorf

I LOVE YOU!
- Karina, who always tells us that she loves us, and so I try to say it more too.

It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tired into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one destiny, affects all indirectly.
- Martin Luther King

And that, my friends, it what makes life worth living. Loving others. Serving them. Understanding them. Empathizing with them. Forgiving them.

And I'm telling you - when you're having a bad day, think about the people you love and why you love them. Connect with them and then show them that you love them. Say I love you every once in a while. Do an act of service. Give a hug. Write a nice note. You know, it's all about relationships.

As I have loved you, love one another.

- Jesus.

A harlot

2013-03-05T00:48:00.002-07:00

Wanna read a good story that you probably don't read all that often? Read Hosea.
Here it is in a wrap.

Hosea is a prophet.
He is commanded to marry Gomer.
Gomer is a harlot.
They have children. Their names respectively mean: "sow or gather spread, scatter," "no mercy," and "not my people."
Gomer says - I will return to my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink.
Say what? Your lovers will give you bread? And water? Bread - symbolic of the Bread of Life? of Jesus Christ? Your lovers can give you that?
Gomer breaks her covenant and goes to her former lovers. Can I just say how when I read this - it hurt. I was legitimately so angry with Gomer. Hosea married you when you were a harlot. And you leave him for your former lovers who you think can give you bread?
But Hosea doesn't give up on her.
Hosea lets her go for a season.
Then he goes after her.
He "allures" her into the wilderness and "speaks comfortably" to her.
He cleans her up.
"And I will give her her vineyards from thence, ad the valley of Achor for a door of hope, and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

At first I thought Hosea was crazy. How could he let her come back?
And then, as my New Testament teacher so tenderly pointed out, I realized....

This is my story. This is an object lesson for the Savior and me. Sometimes, I go to other places for my flax and wool. It can be hard. I learn from my trials. But Christ comes back for me and he forgives me.

I know that I'm not perfect, that I sometimes get wrapped up in things that I shouldn't get wrapped up in. I forget Him. But, I want so desperately to follow my Savior. He comes back for me. He is waiting for me, with open arms. He is my Savior. I am nothing without Him. And He loves me.

Following Him is more than just believing in Him and then going and doing whatever I want. Gomer just went back to her lovers, and yeah, she messed up and came back.

But what does coming back consist of? (click on the link...)

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
Repentance
Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins
Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost
Enduring to the end living a continuous Christian lifestyle.

I am so grateful for my Savior.
(I can't wait to share His gospel for 18 months!)

To the lovely Sister Callister

2013-02-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Jasmine,

Okay, yes, this is a public letter. I'm not sure how you feel about that. But here ya go. This is from me, and also from all of us.

Jasmine! You're going to Paris! PARIS.
Jasmine! You're going on a MISSION. (That's more exciting than Paris...)

Here are a bunch of things that we love about you (in no particular order):

You are an amazing cook. Baker. Everything.

You always do the right thing.

You are easy to talk to.

You are inspiring.

You are hilarious and have a great sense of humor.

You have great music taste.

You look good - 100% of the time.
You WORK OUT!

You always come up with really fun things to do.

You have the most adorable sense of style.

You introduced us to dry shampoo (best. thing. ever)

You quietly go about doing good and setting a good example. You do good for the sake of doing good, not for praise or in a self-righteous way.

You ask good questions about people's lives.

You sense others' feelings really well.

Thank you for being such a good friend. I am seriously so blessed to have met you and your family. You are always so willing to serve and talk with me. I will always remember some of our deeper conversations. I am so jealous of all your future companions!

You love the gospel with all of your heart, and you will be such an amazing missionary in Paris!

We love you! I love you!

Love,
Emma
Karina
Hannah
Sarah, and
Ellie

an extrovert

2013-02-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

In high school I took that personality test- you know, you're either a INFP, or an ESFJ, or an ENTJ. Or something of 16 variants (something like that).
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
Sensing or iNtuition?
Thinking or Feeling?
Judging or Perceiving?

I liked what I got back. I won't say what I was. Except that I've realized one thing since I've taken that test and come to college.

I'm an extrovert.
(Most of the time).
And yes, it might depend on how you define extrovert.

I've developed into an extrovert.

I thrive off of social interaction.
Maybe I'm a little closed off and shy at first and maybe I don't like opening myself up to a bunch of people. But I realized, it's only the deepest parts of myself. And not many people open up like that. (Heck- I write a blog...)

Last week I was sick. I went to school but I didn't feel like myself. I went home and curled up in a ball trying to stay warm but study Italian at the same time.
And I missed people.

Maybe I don't go up and talk to every person I meet and at a party I'm definitely not the leader or the one to start dancing in the middle first.

But.
I like being there. I like being there and observing people and talking to new people and getting to know them. I love that. I want to get to know people. I want to understand them. Understanding people. Feeling connected with them. I want to understand what makes us all human. (This is why the hashtag fascinates me. But that's another story.)
I want to know you. Why are you you?

And I can sit in the library and read all about the Peoples of India and what makes them unique - but it's not the same as being there, understanding it, and living it.

So yes, a test may tell me I'm an introvert.
But, I am most definitely an extrovert.
Because being around people makes me happy.
Telling people what I think (even if it's crazy) makes me happy.
Listening to others' ideas makes me happy.
Understanding people, and being a part of the culture and the craziness - that makes me happy.

And I think we all crave a little social interaction now and then, even if we're an introvert. Because we're all human. And that's something we all can connect with - despite culture, religion, race, color, or even gender. And while I believe these social groups are absolutely a part of our unique identities, I think it's fascinating to discover what unites us all as humans.

(maybe I should just be a freakin Anthropology major...)

Some tips for falling asleep from an expert ;)

2013-02-12T01:16:00.001-07:00

1. Check every social media site you participate in before lying in bed.
2. Keep your phone on full volume just in case anyone needs to get a hold of you. There could be an emergency.
3. Lie in bed and make mental lists of everything you need to do the next day. Don't worry, you'll remember everything the next morning.
4. Drink something caffeinated. It really helps get those sleep hormones going.
5. Eat a bunch of chips and salsa.
6. Study for all of your classes in your bed. They say if you sleep on it (literally) you'll remember more.
7. Think about all the people you might have possibly offended that day and think of ways you can apologize to them.
8. Remember all those good memories you have from your past relationships and just replay them in your head over and over again.
9. Keep switching sides. Try using two pillows. Try out new positions. Hold your breath periodically.
10. Keep blogging in the middle of the night. I'm sure that helps you sleep a lot ;)

love those epiphanic moments

2013-02-09T16:28:00.001-07:00

This week in my New Testament class I noticed some things in the scriptures that were particularly touching. I didn't learn anything I didn't know before, but I saw some symbolism in the scriptures that I just found profound. And I learned that there are hidden gems in the scriptures all of the time, we just have to look hard enough. As my teacher pointed them out to me, I kept loudly whispering... "that's so cool!"

Acts Chapter 20 - the story of Eutychus.

Verse 7:
And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.
And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together.
And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead.
And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him.
When he therefore was up again, and had broken bread and eaten, and talked a long while, even till break of day, so he departed.
And they brought the young man alive, and were not a little comforted.

Eutychus is a Fall of Adam type.
Paul is a Christ type.
And yes, while one could say - don't fall asleep in church because bad things could happen to you - there is such profound symbolism here.

Aren't we all like Eutychus here in some way? Although we don't believe that Adam's transgression is our own, we still suffer the consequences for that sin. We all sin. We all fall short every day. We fall asleep in church. We say hurtful things to people that we regret. We watch something we know we probably shouldn't.

But, as Paul fell down on him and embraced him - Christ does for us. If we let him.
And, we can do that for others as we follow Christ's example.

This is such a beautiful image of Christ's love to me. He has suffered for me, he falls down to embrace me when I am fallen. And through Christ, we can live again.

I love these golden nuggets in the scriptures.

three things and why

2013-02-06T00:08:00.002-07:00

I don't write this blog for a bunch of page views.

I'm not really into the classic - lets take pictures of what I'm wearing and be all fashionista like.

I can't really cook. I don't post a bunch of recipes that are to die for and everyone should make.

I'm not a photographer. (Although, Instagram is an amazing creating that makes me feel like I am).

I don't even care if anyone reads it. (Even though I might write like I do.)

I'll blog more. Just because I don't journal enough. And somedays, I like to look back and wonder what I was thinking.

Oh, and more pictures.

Why do I write? Just because I like to think. I like to think out loud and in some way get my thoughts all in one place. I write about... life. My life. I write about random ideas that I have. Pages that could go on and on. Philosophies. Life lessons. That's all this is.

Today I'm thinking about just a couple of things.

1) Italy.

2) My sisters. I miss them. 3 more weeks!

3) This video.
Boring is easy. Everyone can be boring.
Aren't we all on the same team?
This is life, people. You've got air comin through your nose. And your heart beat. That means it's time to do something!
It hurt, man!
Not cool, Robert Frost.
I want to be on the one that leads to awesome.
Keep goin, keep goin, and keep goin.
What will be your space jam?
This is your time, this is my time, this is our time.
We've got work to do.
We can cry about it, or we can dance about it.
Get to it!

Love,
Emma

La mia chiamata per la missione di Milano

2013-01-23T21:48:00.001-07:00

Well, first of all, my world kinda flipped upside down when this announcement was made. I didn't know how to react. I remember saying, "Is he kidding? Is this real life?" And then for weeks, the idea became more of a reality. It seemed too good to be true. Could I really go now? Is a mission what the Lord wanted me to do?

Every time I watch this video, I get the chills. Tears fill my eyes. I am so excited.

Quite honestly, I've always wanted to serve a mission and bring the world His truth. I just didn't know if the timing would be right, or if that was the Lord's plan for me.

I believe in personal revelation. I know that as I turn to Him, He will provide answers to my prayers and give me direction in my life. As I started working on my papers, the decision felt more and more right. (I didn't faint when I had my blood drawn, and that had to be a sign :).)

But, of course I would serve a mission. Why did it take me so long to figure it out? I wanted to be sure. I wanted to do what the Lord wanted me to do. And you know what He told me? If I wanted to go, I should go. And heck yes, I wanted to go. So here I go.

My Stake President asked me "if there was anywhere I wanted to go, where would it be?"

"Wherever the Lord wants me to go," I said.

"Yes, of course. But, you must have a place you dream about going."

"Well...Italy. I would love to go to Italy."

Last Wednesday, I found out my call had been mailed. Probably the longest day of my life. I started crying when I told my mom it might be coming that day. And all day, I kept waiting for a text from my Grammie that it had arrived. My dad texted me every hour, saying "so?" And at 5:00, it arrived, a time for a Google plus hangout was set, and the waiting began.

I have to say, I have watched this video a few times. I'm quite dramatic. But I'm Emma, I freak out and get dramatic :) Please watch, and share in my excitement.

Italy, Milan.

May 1st.

We had a huge Google hangout going. So much fun. I wish my family could have been there with me, but it was so fun for all my cousins and my grandparents to share in the moment with me.

My best friends were there! And seriously, these girls are my best friends. I don't know where I'd be without them.

4 of us are serving missions.

Ellie: Poland, Warsaw

Jasmine: France, Paris

Karina: Argentina, Cordoba.

Watch out world.

My cousins from Salt Lake came down.
Andrew is serving a mission in Oklahoma right now.
Thanks for coming :) It means a lot.

I couldn't be happier.

I know this will be the hardest thing I will have ever done in my entire life.

But I have a testimony of this gospel. I love my Savior.

Feed my sheep, He said. I will serve those around me by serving a mission. As I study the missions of the apostles after Christ left the Earth, I strive to feed His sheep.

I want to tell the people of Italy that they have a Savior who loves them and who died for them.

I want to tell them that Christ's gospel is restored upon this Earth.

I want to tell them that they can be with their families forever.

I want to share with them my knowledge that The Book of Mormon is the word of God.

I can't wait to share this in Italy.

(Remember how 8 months ago I was blogging all about how I'd be in Italy in a year, and how I was trying to learn Italian?)

May 1st. 96 days left and counting!

I forgot

2013-01-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

Dear fingers,
I forgot what it was like to practice piano. I thought I could play the way I played 5 years ago. Not. quite. I'm sorry you are out of practice. But don't worry, an hour (plus) a day makes the awkwardness go away.
Love,
Emma

my break through pictures

2013-01-03T21:09:00.002-07:00

First off. California.

first taxi ride

view from the kitchen
not complaining

yeah I pretty much have
the cutest cousins
in the world

too many Christmas sweets
this wrapper is my motto
for next semester as well

chocolate milk bottle

not even staged
they seriously all just gathered together
one by one as Seth read to them.
pretty adorable

another ocean view

frozen yogurt expedition

the children before their Christmas program

beach sunset
I have a thing for sunsets.
who doesn't?

panoramic view from mountain

Home Sweet Home. Arizona. 60 degrees and beautiful.

I have some cute little brothers

yeah, we're a pretty good looking bunch
things get a little crazy with 9 people
we love our Mexican food
we are from Arizona

Christmas Eve feast

scarred for life?
Bruce the stray dog
he's come around a lot apparently
he likes to harass Zoe
poor thing

another sunset
this time in Arizona
I love Arizona sunsets
home.

Christmas carols
we all take a turn at the piano
flute, violin, clarinet
17 voices
the Strongs, the Baers, and Sister Jackson

9 stockings
10 including Zoe
yes, Zoe has a stocking

our 15 foot Christmas tree
it's last year standing

Mark's Christmas Eve PJ shirt
I'm a Mormon.
I know it. I live it. I love it.

Christmas Eve Pajama tradition

this is my Dad
he loves Zoe
and wolf books

Christmas Eve tradition:
walking down the stairs youngest to oldest to see what Santa brought
we all slept together in the same room

Anna gave each of us a note
this one wasn't even that funny compared to the other ones

catching up with old friends
Scavenger hunt - find a drink with two straws

lots of cuddling with Zoe during wisdom teeth recovery

picking our Arizona grapefruit

New Years Eve
such a party
Thank you to the Merrills

old friends
yes I won at bowling
still not very good

Wisdom teeth

2012-12-29T16:05:00.001-07:00

Right now I am really craving pizza.
What I have eaten these past 2 days:
- Danimals smoothies
- milkshakes
- yogurt (I think I'm sick of yogurt for the first time all year)

I am really cold and am craving some tomato soup. But we don't have any.

Love this wisdom teeth experience. I feel like I've lost brain cells over the amount of movies I have watched.

Have a good day!

There's something about...

2012-11-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, so I'm going to write.

There's something about

a song that just relates to you in so many ways.
3 road trips back and fort to Arizona within 2 weeks days
mountains.
tall boys.
Michael Buble's Christmas album.
meeting a new person.
opening up to people.
letting people open up to you, and letting yourself love them, despite everything.
realizing how wonderful and kind everyone is to you when you're having a bad day
receiving a Father's blessing.
a full moon.
sunsets.
coming to a realization that you hope you won't forget.
boys with accents ;)
voxing your mom and your aunts and your Grammie.
waking up to a text from a friend telling you to read a scripture that you really needed to read
speaking in another language.
pulling multiple "all-nighters."
breathing in fresh air.
culture. pure culture.
photography and capturing instant moments so quickly.
having 20 panic attacks every 5 minutes and realizing how annoying that must be.
watching your little brother play basketball.
holding a door open for someone.
finally letting all of the tears out at once.
mom's homemade apple and berry pies.
realizing you might have made a difference in someone's life.
being humbled by all the people who have made a difference in your life.
talking to one of your best friends on the phone till 2:30 in the morning, getting food with them, and knowing they will always be there for you.
lying in your bed, wanting to sleep, and desperately praying for hours on end that your heart will stop beating so fast and you will calm down. And then actually falling asleep.
Mumford and Sons
rekindling meaningful friendships
loving others
talking with your roommate way too late into the night
the beautiful power of prayer
a personal relationship with my Savior
writing a blogpost while your adorable roommate snores on the couch
realizing it's really late and I need to go to bed

This was super random and jumbled. But I'm grateful for everything I have. And although school is overtaking my life and causing me more stress than necessary, I am grateful for my family and friendships, and I know that in the end, it is the relationships we build with others that matter.

life right now

2012-10-17T21:39:00.001-07:00

I love my Savior.

I love His gospel.

I love His prophets.

I love the Bible.

I love studying the New Testament.

I love the Book of Mormon.

I love my family.

I love my roommates.

I love my friends.

I love my job.

I love my freshmen.

I love my height.

I love my long hair.

I love my new phone.

I love fall.

I love the rain.

I love everything related to pumpkins.

I love colors.

I love leaves.

I love the mountains.

I love wearing blazers.

I love pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and cookies and cake.

I love discovering new music on Spotify.

I love Mumford and Sons.

I love having a clean room.

I love meeting new people.

I love to smile.

I just love life right now.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

2012-09-10T17:11:00.003-07:00

So I'm in this video for like one second. But Karina and Ellie are very much featured in it. And Eric is in my ward - so DUH I have to share it :)

Watch! Share! Boost of the views! Check out Eric Thayne on youtube :)

curse of breaking things

2012-09-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

I have a curse. No really, I do. And while I write this I can't even laugh at myself anymore. I just want to cry.

It all began with my Dell computer a year ago. Don't even know what happened, it just decided not to turn back on again. Started making weird beeping noises and overheating. I lost everything. After a couple weeks without a computer I decided to rent from BYU. Let's just say I went through SIX of them. Same sort of thing, they decided not to turn on. One couldn't hold a charge for more than five minutes. Sometimes I would back things up, other times I forgot to back some stuff up. So I hardly have any papers or anything I wrote from my freshman year of college. After going through six PCs, I bought a Mac. Haven't had any problems whatsoever.

But the computers are only just the beginning. I dropped my phone in water. Oops. Had to borrow someone's.

I went on a bike ride on Karina's bike. Crashed it. Broke the tire.

My ipod. Kept deciding not to play stuff and the computer finally didn't recognize it anymore. It's dead. Maybe it got dropped too many times, I'm not sure.

I crashed my family's car on the way home from Utah (sorry, guys). This one really isn't that funny, more like traumatizing. But my roommates still insensitively laugh at me about it.

When I came back from AZ to Utah this year, my camera all of a sudden had a lens error. No idea where that came from - it was working in the airport and decided not to work once we landed in Utah.

When I was in California I dented a bike rack.

And now, just yesterday, I wake up and my phone decides to completely die on me. The touch screen is fried. It lasted me so long....like 8 months. That's a record.

So now I'm phoneless, without a camera or an ipod. My computer still works, thank goodness. And I was smart enough to get insurance on it just in case.

I also seem to have a problem with breaking toilets too.

I know material things aren't what make life wonderful. But I like having working electronics.
I have a problem. I swear, I don't throw my phones against the wall or smash my cameras with hammers. Maybe I'm clueless, maybe there's some rule to technology everyone in the world knows about except me. If there is, could you please tell me? Because I'm sick of this.

I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now :)

Remembering Names

2012-09-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

“Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

- Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

For the past couple of weeks, I have started my new job as a Peer Mentor through BYU's Freshman Mentoring program. As soon as I came to BYU a year ago and met my peer mentor, I knew it was a job I would love participating in. Being a mentor at Chandler Prep and being the oldest of seven children, I have always found myself in that "mentor" role. I'm an Anthropology major, so I love to meet people, get to know them, and understand them.

Getting ready for New Student Orientation brought some anxiety but mostly excitement. I had been training to meet these students for so long, and I finally got to meet them and get to know them! And once I did, everything became so tangible. Names became faces, and the real work began.

Now, something I don't like to admit - I can't remember names. I will recognize so many faces around campus - of people I've never even met. I have a favorite couple I see walking around everywhere, but they probably have no idea who I am. She works in the Science and Maps section of the library, and they're quite adorable. I know their faces, but I could never tell you their names. With this lack of a gift that I have, I was worried about NSO. For the days before it, I kept praying that I could remember names. I still keep praying for that. Because "a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

I mean, honestly, if someone calls me by my name, I feel valued. They know my name; they remember me. And I would hate to make someone feel like they are not valued by not remembering their name. And guess what? I am remembering names so much more now! A simple prayer that has been answered and has strengthened me.

God knows each of us by name. He can name all of his children by name. Jesus Christ suffered for each of us individually. He knows our name, our deepest fears, our happiest joys, and our hardest trials. My burdens are His burdens. And when I can't sleep at night when I'm thinking about my students, because I care so much about them already, I know Christ has mine and their burdens too. I love Him, and I am eternally grateful that He will forever know my name.

How Great Thou Art

2012-09-05T00:28:00.002-07:00

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,

Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

When I look at the stars, overlook a valley from the top of a mountain, or admire the detail of delicate butterfly wings, I am in “awesome wonder” God’s creations and perfect love. Surrounded by nature, I am humbled by God’s magnificence and cannot help but thinking, “How great Thou art.”

Glacier National Park - Montana

Whitefish, Montana Summer 2011

Singing the words to “How Great Thou Art” is a “prayer” (Doctrine and Covenants 25:12) unto my “Lord my God.”

Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, is manifest throughout all of His creations. His light is throughout the world, and sometimes we fail to recognize and be humbled by this. I am very grateful for the beautiful world that surrounds us, and I know that Christ’s light is throughout the world. The simple beauties that surround us testify of Christ, and all things point to Christ. If Christ is the center of our lives, then all of our questions and doubts can be answered.

on-campus to off-camps shock

2012-08-19T10:20:00.001-07:00

The New Heritage Halls were wonderful. (Click to see pictures of them). They were beautiful and I have nothing bad to say about them ever. We were the first ones to live in them. They were spacious and clean and wonderful. Never-been-slept-in beds, never-been-sat-on couches, never-been-flushed toilets, and never-been-used showers.

Then I look at my off-campus apartment for this year - much, much cheaper in rent - and we're gettin that quality. I have to say when we toured the apartment I did not think it was all that bad. It looked pretty clean and livable. Probably because we didn't look in all the nooks and crannies.

I am scared to SHOWER in the bathrooms. Seriously - how many people have showered in there? How much hair has been lost by how many girls in those drains? I'm also taller than the shower so I have to bend my knees a whole lot :( How would boys shower in those? (well, tall boys).
The carpets have apparently been cleaned but they don't look like they've ever been replaced in the last twenty years. There is this apparent odor throughout. The air conditioning is slightly....NOT WORKING. Luckily this isn't Arizona or I'd be out of there in a heartbeat. Even though it does feel like it's 95 degrees in there.
There are areas of this apartment that don't look like they've ever been dusted. How did the previous people ever get away with cleaning checks? The inside of the cupboards are all stained.

Last night I made a Target run (while getting lost multiple times along the way) to pick up some necessities for the apartment. Like a fan, shelf-liner, air fresheners, and some basic cleaning supplies. We bleached all the insides of the cupboards. I don't even want to touch the showers. Guess I'm going to break out those early morning custodial skills once again!

Now onto the good part.
This apartment is very close to campus so I can walk no problemo. Everyone that we've talked to says the ward is very social and fun. I get to live with all of my same roommates from last year. Once we turn this apartment into a home we'll be all set. We can make this apartment wonderful and make our experience fun because WE are wonderful and fun. There is an upstairs where all the bedrooms are so if I want to go to bed earlier there will be less noise. And, there are much worse apartments out there. For the price we're paying, we really can't complain.

Pictures to come soon...

Have you ever lived in an apartment that wasn't very livable? How'd you make it your home? Stories and suggestions please :)

Clark Kent

2012-08-15T19:38:00.002-07:00

I've had this blog-post sitting in my drafts folder ever since I watched all four Superman movies featuring Christopher Reeves and the 2006 version Superman Returns with Brandon Routh in California with Seth, Isaac, and Aunt Sarah. After that movie marathon I fell in love with Superman.

this is Brandon Routh with his "hipster" glasses
see - he's just as attractive as superman!
haha - he IS superman.

See, something I've always found fascinating about all superhero movies in general is that the public needs a hero. Gotham needs Batman. Metropolis (or the whole world, I suppose) needs Superman. These heroes are their Saviors. And although there aren't any superheroes around these parts flying and catching reports and helicopters, we have everyday heroes that mean so much to us. We find hope in our heroes. And since we put so much hope in our heroes, we need to have good heroes. Not the amazing basketball superstar Kobe Bryant or baseball legends that end up being on steroids. We can find our heroes in the good people around us. Our grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, mentors, professors, siblings, prophets, and pastors. And we can find the hero in ourselves, too.

My favorite superhero is Superman. I love Clark Kent too.

I fell in love with the movies featuring the 6'4" Christopher Reeves (I mean, 6'4" tall, dark, and handsome - I'm not gonna complain). I fell in love with the superhero Superman - he's now officially my favorite one. And I also fell in love with Superman's alter-ego Clark Kent.

Christopher Reeves as Superman.
His only disguise - glasses. It fools Lois Lane.

I mean - some people need a superman in their lives, but give me a Clark Kent and I'll be happy. I find his hipster glasses quite attractive, actually. I never quite understood what he saw in Lois Lane, either.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. He can take a bullet to his eyeball. You can shoot him with anything and he'll be fine. He can pick absolutely anything up. And, that's pretty cool. I also think he's the one with the most good in him. Every hero has his tragic flaw, and his is Kryptonite. Which Lex Luther uses to his advantage every time.

Clark Kent is just adorable. He's smart (well, the glasses make him look smart at least), kind, caring, and sensitive. And underneath all that is the Man of Steel. Clark Kent is like the kid next door who's quite attractive but you never give him the time of day because he's just too nice. And although Clark is quite clumsy I find that quite endearing.

And yes, I know Clark Kent/ Superman doesn't exist in real life. But someday I'll find my Superman. Or my Clark Kent :) Yes - someday I'll find my Clark Kent.

some quotes and some change

2012-08-12T00:32:00.002-07:00

do you like the title of my blog? because I'm considering changing it. I love my title, I just don't know if people can remember it because it's in Latin. But the more I think of it, I'll just keep it :)

My mom found this quote, and I think it describes just what I'm trying to do on my blog.

Emily Dickinson: "Forever is composed of nows." I'm writing about the different "nows" I am experiencing in life. So, if I suddenly have a new blog that has something to do with that quote, don't be surprised.

Another Emily Dickinson quote I like:
"I dwell in possibility." My Grammie always says that. Life presents so many different possibilities, and by dwelling on all of them we remain open-minded.

This is what we call the real world, children.

2012-08-06T23:27:00.001-07:00

I feel like I'm being pushed into the real world all at once. Yes, I know I already went through my first year of college. But somehow, my second year seems to be more of the "real world."
Like paying for something that equals weeks worth of labor.
Submitting health insurance information - I know nothing about my health insurance, I'll admit it.
Researching credit cards.
Figuring out all of my tax information.
Talking about setting up a type of 401k plan.

But, there's still a long way to go before I'm really in the real world. I realize that.

Some outcomes of my summer

2012-08-06T23:00:00.003-07:00

All of these things have a story behind them. Deeply personal stories, but these are the outcomes.

This summer has reaffirmed some things for me. Such as:

- I know my major! (Anthropology, as it has always been)

- I am going to backpack Europe sometime in the future.

- Someday, I will have children of my own. Just not all at once.

- I love Seth, Becca, Isaac, Rachel, and Jack.

- California weather is heavenly when you live right next to the beach.

- I can do hard things.

- I crave adventure, but I fear it.

- I have been living in another world.

- Life is short. Embrace each moment.

- Be a listener.

- Just be myself.

Heavenly Father answers prayers, even if we don't expect Him to. And learning of all of these things, in some roundabout way, has been an answer to my prayers.