We started out with a rainy adventure. The Greek summer had been so dry, months without rain so we could hardly complain that we got a bit wet. The dry and thirsty land desperately needed the rain.

We hoofed it through the city first to the subway, to see the ruins they’d uncovered while digging for the modern subway. Pastor Jeff said they had to pause the digging to allow archaeological digging first. The project was delayed like 20 years! It’s hard to wrap your head around what it’s like across the Old World and the layers of history that lay beneath the land. It’s another reminder that the stories recorded in the Bible happened in real places in real history.

Further down the road, and through the rain, we saw the site of first century Thessaloniki where Paul and Silas would have come to town, likely still bruised and broken from their beating in Philippi. A 90-mile journey with sore, aching bones and muscles. Their resilience was supernatural, by the power of the Holy Spirit and for the sake of the gospel.

Here in Thessaloniki they find Jews and reason with them that Jesus is the fulfillment of the Scriptures. Some believe, along with some Greeks and prominent women. Other Jews are jealous. They think this is a cancer to their faith. It must be removed before or spreads (Acts 17:1-9). And Paul gets it. That was him. He too sought to stomp out this Jesus movement by any means…until Jesus confronted him on the road to Damascus.

How heartbroken Paul must be at their hard hearts that drives them to round up bad characters. They run Paul and his companions out of town at night. Yet, Paul doesn’t relent. He keeps going. The gospel so compels him, the love of Christ fuels him. He’s fanatical. Not balanced. He gives his all. I mean his all. Are we willing to be that in, all in for the sake of the gospel?

We then follow Paul down to Berea (modern day Veroia). To be a Berean means to take the Scriptures seriously. This group of Jews search the Scriptures daily to see if what Paul is saying about Jesus is true. Is he the Messiah? Did he rise from the dead? And many of them believe. But the angry mob of Jews from Thessaloniki travel down to Berea and stir up trouble. So the Bereans escort Paul to the coast to take him to Athens. He leaves Silas and Timothy behind to help the Bereans grow (Acts 17:10-15).

The gospel is offensive to some. It calls for a response. We can’t stay ambivalent about it. Either Jesus is God and we reorient our lives and loves around him, growing in character that looks like he taught, or we reject him. There’s no in between. We are either all in or not. There’s no room for lukewarm. Jesus tells a church in Revelation that they’re lukewarm and he spits them out. No good for anything. 

Paul and his companions are anything but lukewarm. What about me? Am I all in and ready to give my life for Jesus? To reorient everything around him?

We went on to see the old Jewish quarters in Berea. It appears the Bereans are still of noble character. In World War 2 the Nazis invaded, and all the Jews from this city were taken to the holocaust camps. Only one man from the town returned. The quarter fell into disrepair but remained untouched. Now, the community is restoring the area and the synagogue has been restored to memorialize the Jews and remember. It was the likely spot where Paul opened Scriptures as synagogue sites are considered holy and built upon time after time in the same spot. Nestled near the river for mikvah cleansing rituals, it is a beauty of a spot.

In 2014 the local school had students write letters to the Jewish children taken from their town. Our guide read a couple of the letters to us. I was deeply moved by the heartache, compassion and sorrow expressed by these children for those they never knew. May we never forget.

We then continued to the tomb of Philip II. King of Macedon, father of Alexander the Great. What??! The large mound buried the tomb that Alex made for his father who was murdered at 46. Phillip united the Greek city states into one and drilled and disciplined the army creating the phalanx tactic that would pave the way for Alexander to become The Great and lead Greece to conquer Persia. Phillip found and mined SO much gold. The opulence was excessive evidenced by the gold and elaborate crowns found in the tombs. Philip had Aristotle tutor Alexander. These are the players God used to defeat Persia and pave the way for Greek culture to spread. Greek ideas, language, government, theater, and the Greek language which becomes the trade language. This happens 300 years before Christ.

One can see the sovereignty of God, who holds all kingdoms in his hand. He directs human history, works through countries and cultures, setting the stage for Jesus to come-into a world with a common language, a road system (courtesy the Romans), and a way for ideas and religion to spread. All these make it easier for the Gospel to spread across the world. A good news that stands in stark contrast to the culture around them.

So how different are we from the culture around us? How bold, courageous, all in? Fanatical? What could that even look like in a post Christian world? Lord show us what it means to be bold, courageous, all in for the sake of the gospel.

Day 1: We loaded the bus for our first venture into Paul’s travels. We took a two-hour drive north to Neapolis (modern day Kavala), the location where Paul first landed in Europe after being blocked by the Holy Spirit to enter Ephesus and Asia (see Acts 16).

Neapolis features a church where they claim the location that Paul first set foot on European land. If not there, it was close by. We remembered the challenges Paul had faced just to get there. Broken relationships with the sharp disagreement over John Mark that split Paul and Barnabas into two teams. Repetition as on this trip Paul had already returned to the same places to do the same thing he’s done before — build believers into maturity and share the Gospel (Acts 15:36-41). He’d faced negative direction in being told “no” by the Holy Spirit to two locations he’d wanted to visit first. Yet here he arrives, and God is about to do something new, but it will not be easy.

Paul takes the Roman Via Egnatia into the town of Philippi. There is apparently no synagogue and not enough Jewish men (10) to start one. Maybe no Jewish men at all. Paul goes to the river to the place of prayer, looking for God-worshipers and finds women, including Lydia. God opens Lydia’s heart and she believes in Jesus and her whole household is baptized. She is apparently the head of her household – a businesswoman dealing in imports of purple cloth. The church begins here, with her. With a soft heart that responds to the gospel, she immediately begins to serve. She shares her hospitality, using what she has – her God-given gifts and resources – to house Paul, Silas, Timothy and Luke.

What strikes me about Lydia, and the women with her, is that they did what they could with all they knew. The gathered to pray. The worshiped together. And God met them there with the Gospel through Paul. May it be so for us. May we worship and pray and do what we can with all that we know, trusting that God will meet us in it and continue to grow our understanding of him and relationship with him.

Paul and Silas encounter deep trouble at Philippi. After a demon-possessed fortune teller girl follows them for days proclaiming these men know the way of salvation, Paul gets “annoyed” and casts the demon out in Jesus’s name. Her owners are beyond mad. Their money-making scheme is destroyed. So they accuse Paul and Silas on us vs. them terms. Those Jews are proclaiming things unlawful for us Romans. Paul and Silas get dragged into the marketplace, in front of a council, no trial, just a beating and thrown into prison. And there they sing.

They praise in the pit. And while they are praising and singing God shakes the earth and frees them. And what do they do with their freedom? They rescue others. Set free to set others free. Set free from physical prison, but using it to set others free from a spiritual prison. The jailer about to take his life, called out to and spared by Paul who shares Jesus with him.

So now, the church in Philippi includes Lydia and her household, a Roman jailer and his household, and possibly a former demon-possessed fortune-telling girl. What a motley crew.

Paul and Silas are kicked out of town, but Paul doesn’t go quietly. You think you can just beat a Roman citizen without trial and usher us out of town? Why does he declare so boldly? Likely to protect this new, fledgling Jesus-community.

He leaves with Silas after saying farewell and heading down the Via Egnatia to the next town, probably for another beating. How many towns did Paul approach? How many beatings? How many imprisonments? And yet he didn’t stop. He couldn’t be stopped. The message too powerful. The Spirit’s leading too strong to ignore. The calling too deep. The gospel message too important. The work of Jesus so powerful in his life he couldn’t be stopped.

Are we willing to suffer like this? I have to answer for myself…likely not. My life is comfortable, so easy. Yet Paul, Lydia, and the jailer take courage in the face of a hostile, angry culture. A culture that wants to shut them up, run them out of town, even kill them. And the message is too great to stop. The stakes too high. They are compelled by the love of God.

Does this love run that deep in my life? Do I realize what I have been saved from? How big my rescue is? Paul never got over the gospel. He never got over being rescued. He wanted that for others. So much that he would give his own life. Like Jesus did. Am I willing to do the same?

We risk so little. We stay too quiet. I risk too little. I stay too quiet. Will we stand up in grace and truth with boldness and courage and share the gospel in these days? Will we seek the Spirit’s direction and ask God to show us who, where, when and how? Will we be part of his work as he opens people’s hearts to himself? A world is waiting. Are we willing?

I stood on the back porch leaning against the house, shoulders drooped, hair covering my face as tears fell drip by drip onto the cement. I’d taken the trash out, but wasn’t quite ready to go back into the house. I was hoping I could also dump the trash in my soul right there on the ground. It hadn’t been a “super” Sunday, and as twilight covered the sky, the heaviness of the week ahead covered my heart.

My husband stepped outside and stood next to me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing and everything. It’s just all the feels of the week ahead. It’s like every emoji on the keyboard all at once.”

He reached an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “I understand. And it’s ok. Normal even.”

“Even good change is hard to handle.”

“Yes,” he sighed, “it is.”

We trudged back into the house, and I took a deep breath. Change is never easy, even when it’s good change.

[pinit]

Confess the struggle to God and to someone you trust

I’ve admitted my emotions, my fears, my what-ifs to God and to close friends and family. Admitting the struggle and our need for help is a huge step forward in the midst of life change, whether it’s a change we desired or not. It also allows God to speak to us through His Spirit and the people around us. He’s given confirmation after confirmation that this is the right move for me. I’m amazed at the things my friends have reminded me of. “Remember that conversation a year ago? This fulfills that!”
[tweetherder]Admitting your struggle and need for help in the midst of change opens the door to see how God provides through his Spirit and His people.[/tweetherder]

Honor God with your words and actions

Oh, I came close to blowing it. The overwhelming emotions nearly got the best of me. I had to talk a walk, get some alone space, and keep close watch over my words. My prayer on the porch Sunday night was “God, help me honor you in the coming weeks and months. In the struggle, in the transition, may all I say and do bring honor to your name.”

Acknowledge how the change affects others.

In the middle of a big (or even small) life change, it can be easy to keep our eyes on ourselves, particularly if we are the ones the change affects most (ie: you’re the one taking a new job!). Remember to check in with those around you – your family members, your kids, your co-workers, anyone who is also affected by this change. A simple “How are you doing with all this?” can go a long way. It’s also a way to honor God (see above!). 

Notice God’s Provisions

Keep an eye out for all the little details. Write them down so you don’t forget! And when you start to doubt that you made the right decision, or that God is with you in the change you didn’t ask for, turn back to those notes you’ve written to yourself. We think we will remember all these details that happen during a big life change. But as time passes, all those cool “only-God” moments can start to fade from memory. So write them down, even if it’s nothing more than a string of words to remind you of His stories of provision.
[tweetherder]Keep a record of how you see God in all the details in the midst of a major life change.[/tweetherder]

Give thanks.

I’ve often say in the middle of “what if” give thanks for “what is.” All those things you list listed about the provisions you’ve seen from God? Give thanks for those over and over. Express thanks to the people who’ve walked with you through this season of life. Sit down and write notes of thanks to those who’ve poured into your life not just in this season, but in seasons past too.
[tweetherder]In the middle of what if, give thanks for what is.[/tweetherder]

Expect to have lots of ups and downs.

We know our emotions are unpredictable and untrustworthy. One minute we’re sure this was the right decision. The next, we think we’ve made the worst decision ever. One minute, we’re certain it’s all going to work out for good and God’s glory, the next we’re certain this situation only leads to failure. But the other thing we can expect is that God is with us and that He never changes, even though our emotions are unstable.

So, remember, CHANGE – Confess, Honor, Acknowledge, Notice, Give thanks, and Expect. These 6 things are keeping me focused during a pretty big life change. I hope they’ll help you too.

How do you handle life changes? I’d love to hear your tips and stories too.

**Congrats to Elissa who won a copy of “I Could Use a Nap and a Million Dollars” and to Rachel who won a copy of “Fledge”

Helpful Resources:

*affiliate links

Jessie Clemence’s book is a must-read for those going through a stressful season. She addresses life change throughout the book. Get it here!

I am a historical fiction lover, and in the midst of life-change, I love immersing myself in an inspiring story, especially if it’s based on history. Jocelyn Green’s newest novel fits the bill and follows a woman feeling the French Revolution and her journey to freedom and a new life in America. It’s a fascinating and beautiful story of hope and new life. Get it here!

Change can often come with a lot of fear. Carol Kent’s classic book Tame Your Fears is perfect for a season of change. I’ve heard her share some of these stories in person. She has lived a faithful life through many challenging life changes and is a wise teacher. Get it here!

Header photo credit: by Mahir Uysal on Unsplash

Today’s post comes from my friend Brenda Yoder who just released a book for parents titled Fledge: LaunchingYour Kids Without Losing Your Mind. It was my pleasure to not only endorse this book, but to also write the foreword for it (a first for me!). As a friend and mom who is a stage ahead of me in life, I have learned so much from Brenda over the years about life and parenting. I know you’ll love her and Fledge. 

Be sure to leave a comment on this post to be entered to win a copy of Fledge. Let me know if you share the post on social media, and you’ll get an extra entry in the drawing! Now, here’s Brenda:

“I desire friendship,” I wrote in my journal as the tears dripped down my cheek. I had mom grief—the feelings moms have experiencing multiple losses in the fledging season when your older child or children are leaving your nest but you’re still parenting others.

I thought it was selfish of me to write what I did. I had friends. Yet, the more accurate description of people in my life would be relationships. Work relationships, Facebook and Instagram relationships–relationships with moms I used to be close with and now I just say “hi” to at school or community events.

Then I realized what was missing. I missed calling a friend for a play date because we both had time. I missed when our families would hang out before ballgames, birthday parties, and chauffeuring kids to their social events took over. I missed the friends who are now empty nesters and living a life that’s different than mine. I missed the weekends my husband and I spent with other couples learning how to make our marriages and families better for the years to come.

Because the years-to-come-years are here and I can barely keep up while life speeds by. The little time I have is spent with my kids and husbands. Who has time for friends?

The Friends That Are

Before I wrote Fledge, I wrote a blogpost about friendship and grief during this fledging stage and women overwhelmingly connected with similar feelings. Cultivating friendships while parenting teens is hard because work, concerts, sporting events, church, and chauffeuring kids sucks every hour out of your day. The time or energy that’s left is directed towards those who need you the most—your kids, husband, and in many cases, aging parents.

Friendship and peer relationships change during the parenting years. Older friends who are empty nesters and grandparents move on with their life without high schoolers or younger kids while you’re still volunteering for the choir fundraiser. Younger peers whose kids are friends with yours might lack common connections like older children, midlife angst or aging parents. Other friends may have life-altering experiences that cause them to pull away—death of a child, a divorce, addiction, or problems their children. In the recent cultural climate, you may find friends you were once close with have differing political, moral, social, or spiritual views that cause division between you.

I’ve experienced most of these scenarios as a mom raising teens for over a decade.

Here are 7 things I’ve learned as I’ve process friendships and parenting during the fledging season.

1. Pursue important friendships during the fledging years.

Most moms during this stage have little time or energy left after pouring into the needs of their children and marriage on top of work and other responsibilities. Reach out to those you value and want to keep connections with. Text them when you think of them even if you can’t get together in person as much as you’d like.

2. Pursue reciprocal friendships.

One-sided friends are draining. Spend time with people who care about you and give back to the relationship as much as you give.

3. Value other relationships in your life.

Many relationships are tied to a particular role—a coworker; mentor; team mom; encourager; bible study leader; committee member, etc. These relationships might be meaningful to you in ways that are different than a girlfriend.

4. Give grace and kindness to other women you have grown distant from or who may not be in your life anymore for various reasons.

People change and often go separate ways because of various life experiences, many of them hard–embarrassment because of a child’s choice or behavior, mental health issues, a broken marriage, addiction, or circumstances out of a parent’s control. Grace is so much better than judgment because each of us don’t know if or when we may find ourselves in a place where we need grace, too. You may have to set boundaries with some friends, but you can still extend grace.

5. Give grace to yourself.

You may think you’ll never have time for important friendships again. As I look at women in the season ahead of me, I realize the friendships pursued during this season are the ones that will probably be around in ten, twenty, and thirty years from now as we sit over coffee and laugh like the old ladies on greeting cards. The same will hopefully be true for you. For now, give grace to yourself rather than feeling rejected or left out.

6. Cultivate a variety of friends.

Having friends from different age groups that aren’t centered on your children’s lives are meaningful—women from work or areas where you have common interests. I have friends anywhere from ten years younger to fifteen years older than myself. These friendships provide meaningful connections even though they are not friends personally connected with my family.

7. Be thankful if you have one or two friends who have your back.

Social media has you believe most women have a plethora of Insta-girlfriends and BFF’s. In reality, pastor Chuck Swindoll says if you have 1-2 people who you would call intimate friends, then you are blessed. Most people rarely have more than a handful of people they can truly trust through thick and thin. If you have at least one friend who will be there for you when things are rough, be thankful.

So hold on, Mama. Being a mom can feel lonely right now. Like other changes in this season of life, it won’t last forever. But it is how things are now and some days it just doesn’t feel good. In it all, give yourself grace.

*Leave a comment below to be entered in a drawing for a copy of Fledge. What resonated with you most about these 7 points? Share this post on Social Media for an extra entry!

For more on everything in the fledge stage of parenting–how to parent both teens and adults, aging parents, facing midlife, mom grief, identity, and everything in between, get Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind. It’s available online and at major retailers. Join me on Facebook for our upcoming Fledge Parenting Forum, and on Instagram, Twitter, and at the Life Beyond the Picket Fence blog at brendayoder.com

Brenda Yoder is a national speaker, author, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and life coach whose passion is encouraging others when life doesn’t fit the storybook image. Authentic and humorous, Brenda connects with women and moms in a way that will have you laughing and crying all at the same time.

Her new book, Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind is a personal handbook for parents in the season of raising and releasing kids. Brenda’s been featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul books: Reboot Your Life and Confident and Curvy; the Washington Post, and For Every Mom. Her first book for busy moms, Balance, Busyness, and Not Doing It All released in 2015.

Brenda is also former teacher and school counselor and was twice awarded the Touchstone Award for teachers. Her ministry, Life Beyond the Picket Fence, is found at brendayoder.com where she writes about faith, life, and family beyond the storybook image. Brenda is a wife and mom of four children, ranging from teens to adults, and lives on a farm in Indiana. You can connect with Brenda on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram. Join her Facebook page to follow the new Fledge Parent Forum for moms releasing their kids.

Header photo credit: Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Interior photos: Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

I’m excited to introduce you to my friend Jessie Clemence. I first met Jessie a few years ago at a writers conference. Not long after, we ended up on the planning committee for said conference together. We worked through some nerve-wracking, stressful situations. (Conferences are not easy to plan! Especially when you want to do everything with God-honoring excellence!)

For a couple years, I had the opportunity to observe Jessie’s heart for God and for people, along with her devotion to the Word and to prayer. She has written a powerful (and yet humorous) book I Could Use a Nap and a Million Dollars: Biblical Alternatives to Stressed Out Living. We will wait right here while you go order it. I laughed, I cried, I thought deeply about the things that stress me out, and I made some changes after reading Jessie’s book. I think you will enjoy it too.

Be sure to enter the giveaway for a copy of her book at the bottom of this post! Now, here’s Jessie:

I have become, somewhat by necessity, an expert on the subject of stressed-out prayer. This is what happens when your life is a stew-pot of problems but you also love Jesus.

You end up praying A LOT.

I’ve found that I tend to pray two different kinds of prayers. One of the ways works beautifully, but the other way falls flat every time.

The failures usually involve demands for God to fix my problem right this very minute. And he can fix it the way I want it fixed, thank you very much.

You will not be surprised to learn that God doesn’t respond to my bossy, crabby ultimatums in the way I hope.

It took years of failed prayers, but I finally found a better way to approach God in any stressful situation. And I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter much what words I pray, but my heart, attitude, and perspective do matter.

Whenever my heart is open to God’s provision and guidance, no matter what his answer may be, peace comes. Rest follows. Prayer connects us to God’s heart, the only true refuge from the stress of life.

Once my heart is genuinely seeking his presence and guidance, almost any prayer will work. At my most stressed out, my petitions tend to be very short and to the point:

• Lord, turn me from my own perspective. I want to see this how you see it.
• Jesus, help me to find the abundant life you promised. I don’t see it here and I need you.
• Father, I submit to you in this situation.

And occasionally—

• Father, Son, and Holy Spirit I’ve gotten myself into a mess again and I’m so upset my eye is twitching and please help me out here because the sky is falling and HELP.

So far even that last one works when my heart is open and seeking refuge in whatever God allows. Apparently God isn’t perturbed by stressed-out run-on sentences.

What about you? How do you pray when you’re stressed out? I’d love to know! Leave a comment below to be entered in the drawing for a copy of the book.

For bonus entries, share this post on social media and let us know in the comments. Contest will close Sunday, March 4. 

Find I Could Use a Nap and a Million Dollars at Baker Book House, on Amazon, or wherever books are sold!

Bio:

Jessie Clemence is a writer, wife, mother, and church secretary. Her third book, I Could Use a Nap and a Million Dollars helps women everywhere find God’s peace in the middle of their stressful lives. You can find her at jessieclemence.com.

Header Photo Credit: by Luiza Sayfullina on Unsplash

Other credits: supplied by Jessie Clemence

This week, I’m honored to participate in a blog series on the topic of love with Baker Book House.

I was in elementary school when I first reached out to my neighbors with Jesus’ love. That was also when I first learned sharing Jesus’ love wasn’t as easy as I thought it was.

My childhood church’s Vacation Bible School was the community event of the summer. I recall a photo in my parents’ photo album of 500 kids standing in front of the church. The photographer stood on top of a school bus to capture us all smiling big under the bright sun, with dozens of grinning adults behind us, who I am sure were exhausted. Kids from all backgrounds and all parts of town showed up at the church for a daily dose of games, snacks, and Bible stories.

One summer, I invited all my neighborhood friends to go with me. I had so many neighbor friends coming that my mom had to borrow a fifteen-passenger van from the church to transport us all. We squished together on the vinyl bench seats giggling and singing songs we’d learned at Vacation Bible School the day before.

Midweek, one of my neighbor friends told us how she’d accepted Jesus and wanted to get baptized. Her eyes shone, and a genuine excitement radiated from her.

I was so happy, I thought my heart would burst. She loved Jesus. I loved Jesus. Jesus loved us. We all loved Him back. It was so simple.

Until it wasn’t.

My friend told her parents about how she loved Jesus and wanted to get baptized. Her parents weren’t excited. They came from a different religious background and told my mom their kids wouldn’t be going with us the next day or any other day. The van became a little quieter the next day. Then a couple more kids didn’t come either. By the end of the week, we didn’t even need the van.

It was the first time I felt like an outsider because of Jesus. As a kid, I didn’t understand all the intricacies of what happened, but from that point forward, I felt different.

I thought maybe if I wanted friends, or at least to fit in, it was better to just not talk about Jesus or His love. The relationship with my neighbor friends was never quite the same. It became a little more awkward, and a lot more cautious.

Something from that event stuck. I didn’t realize it at the time. But loving my neighbors became a battle within myself. A battle between wanting to belong and fit it in, yet obeying Jesus’ command to share His love and the good news of His life and death and resurrection. Because I grew to understand, loving my neighbors has nothing to do with how I feel. It’s a high and holy command.

In the introduction to Love: A Holy Command, Oswald Chambers editor Julie Ackerman Link says, “To comprehend love as a command requires a major shift in thinking. How can we obey a command to feel or prefer something? We tend to think of love as something that happens to us, not something we can call up on command or dish out on demand. Love has an emotional component that we cannot create.

The reason genuine love is difficult is because it is in fact impossible. [tweetherder]We cannot love apart from God because God is love.[/tweetherder]”

A battle ensues every time I strike up a conversation with a neighbor, co-worker or friend and attempt to move beyond the weather and kids into deeper waters of how they’re really doing. Sometimes, when a neighbor opens up her heart about a current struggle, I ask ever so gently, “Would you mind if I pray for you right now?” My 9-year-old internal self still wonders, is this ok? Am I wrecking something here? Will this relationship get weird too?

But loving my neighbor isn’t about me or even them. It’s about God. I should expect resistance. I should expect rejection, because Jesus experienced all those things. I should expect it even from the religious community, because Jesus experienced that too.

Link reminds us, [tweetherder]Genuine love comes from God and flows through us.[/tweetherder]

He provides His love to others through us. When we don’t know how to love, He shows us how through His Word and through His Spirit. He gives courage to pray with the neighbor on the sidewalk, to invite her over for coffee, to build a friendship with a new family in town. He helps us understand and love those who are different than us. He gives us strength to love those who might be difficult to love.

A few years ago, I came across a small book by Timothy Keller called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. In just a few pages, Keller takes an in-depth look at 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7, showing us what a heart that has radically been changed by the grace of God looks like. “It is not simply a matter of morally virtuous behaviour. It is quite possible to do all sorts of morally virtuous things when our hearts are filled with fear, with pride or with a desire for power. We are talking about hearts that have been changed, at the root, by the grace of God – and what that looks like in real life.”

The transformed heart has a proper view of self, and thereby is free to love the community without fear or pride or seeking position, but solely to elevate Christ and His grace and love and truth to a hurting world around us.

“The truly gospel-humble person is a self-forgetful person whose ego is just like his or her toes. It just works. It does not draw attention to itself” (Keller).

In an ever complicated and divisive world, how do we love our neighbors? How do we get outside ourselves, set aside our fear and obey this high and holy command?

[tweetherder]Our confidence in God is the only thing that makes it possible to treat others as they should be treated. – Dallas Willard[/tweetherder], The Divine Conspiracy

Confidence in God alone and staying in close communion with Him through a study of the Word and prayer. He will show us the way to love, because He IS love. (1 John 4:8)

Recommended Resources:

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, by Timothy Keller

Love, A Holy Command by Oswald Chambers

The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

And for a practical tool to help you pray through issues in your community you might not think of, please consider picking up a copy of my book Pray A to Z: A Practical Guide to Pray for Your Community.

Photo credits:

Header Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Girl photo Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Giveaway winners! I apologize, I got a little behind with the holidays and a round of birthdays! I’ll be contacting these winners. Thanks for participating!
A Song of Home: A Novel of the Swing Era (Pearl Spence Novels) by Susie Finkbeiner- Karen
Sunlight Burning at Midnight by Jessica Ronne – Julie B.
As My Parents Age: Reflections on Life, Love, and Change by Cynthia Ruchti – Lois Jones

*New for February* Join me in reading through the book of Acts! After reading through the life and teachings of Jesus last fall, I’ve been wanting to revisit the early church and review what difference Jesus made in this band of fishermen and early followers. With 28 chapters, it’s easy to remember! Read one a day, starting today! Join me on Instagram and Facebook for posts and conversations about what you’re reading.

As 2017 came to a close, I found myself shrouded by a familiar cloud. Anxiety hung low, obscuring joy.

The year ahead felt dreadful, and it hadn’t even started.

Some mornings, I even woke up with a racing heart. It’s as though my body anticipated the day ahead and reacted before my brain was even coherent.

For those who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, the struggle is irrational. And it can be constant.

Over the years, I’ve gained healing and help through medication, counselors, and accountability with friends.

There is no one-size-fits all for good mental health.

However, some practices and habits can point us in the right direction, even in the midst of the anxiety.

For 2018, I’m being intentional with these spiritual practices to take care of my mental health every single day and refocus my mind on Christ.

Maybe one or two will help you too.

1. Morning Gratitude List

Writing a gratitude list isn’t a new concept. Ann Voskamp popularized the practice in her book One Thousand Gifts. I’ve been hit and miss with gratitude lists over the years. This January 1, I started the year with a paper planner. (Panda Planner, go look it up. So fun!) Built into this planner is space to write 3 things you’re grateful for every single day. Our pastor has urged us to pick up this practice and be as specific as possible. Be thankful not just for dinner, but for the chicken tikka masala and warm crusty bread dipped in the sauce. I try to think of 3 things specific to the day before. I write my 3 in my planner before I even get out of bed.

This practice isn’t just about writing things down. It’s also about turning our hearts to God in the process and recognizing these things are good gifts from the Lord.

2. Daily Truth Talk

Each month, I’m choosing a truth theme to focus on. For January, I focused on God’s love and provision for my needs. Each week of the month, I pick a Scripture that goes with the truth. I write that verse down in my planner every single day. The process of writing the verse every morning helps me memorize it, and sink it into my subconscious. So often throughout the day, the verse will come to mind! The verses become like old, trusted friends, reminding you of who and whose you are.

My truth talk verses for January were: Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 34:9, and Isaiah 58:11 (took 2 weeks to sink in!)

3. Prayer Journal

I often find my thoughts too scattered to focus in prayer. But with a pen in hand, it’s as though my hand steadies my thought process. I aim to take a few minutes each morning to write my heart to God. In the process, I will list the concerns of today or the coming week, inviting Him into those meetings and conversations and tasks. I will confess my shortcomings and ask forgiveness, while admitting my need for His help.

A journal also gives me opportunity to look back in the weeks to come and see God’s answers and provision, adding to the gratitude!

4. Evening Review: Today’s Victories

This practice is like a bookend on the morning gratitude. Before retiring for the evening, I write down 1-3 things in my planner that went well today, and offer a silent thanks to God. Whether it was a project or meeting at work that went well, teens who came home from school agreeable, or even just that I held my tongue and controlled my emotions when those things didn’t go well. Finishing the day by looking at the positive victories of the day refocuses my heart on the goodness and strength God gave me to meet the day. Even when the days were rough, hunting for 1-2 good things, no matter how small, is such good practice.

Bonus Practice: Handwritten Notes of Gratitude

This practice has been more of a weekly routine than a daily habit. When I was a high schooler struggling with anxiety and feeling lonely, my wise English teacher prompted me to look outward and take a moment to write a note of appreciation to someone for something they’ve done.

A few times a week, I sit down with my address list and scroll through to see who I haven’t talked to in awhile, or a friend who I know could use a word of encouragement, or simply to let someone know how much they mean to me. This practice has provided an added blessing of texts and email replies to the notes. Quite often the recipient will say, “I was having such a bad day….We’re in the midst of a tough time…God used your note to encourage me.”

The personal touch of a handwritten note, I think, carries even greater value in today’s digital culture.

Yes, you could do each of these practices on your computer or your phone. But if you’re anything like me, those digital devices can be a big distraction.

Not to mention, I find the act of writing things down with my hand, requires more thought, and slows me down, bringing me fully into the practice. I find my fingers can fly faster than my brain when I type.

Slow down. Start the day with intentional practices.

How do you promote your mental health? What habits have helped you focus your heart and mind on Christ each day?

Recommended Resources:

Panda Planner – Best Daily Calendar and Gratitude Journal to Increase Productivity, Time Management & Happiness – I am thoroughly enjoying this planner. Moving back to a paper planner has been so beneficial, and this one includes many great ideas for monthly, weekly, and daily goals and habits, including spaces for daily gratitude and review of the days “wins.”

Loved. Journal – GEMS’ Girls Clubs has designed a new line of Loved. products. This is a perfect way to start the day, remembering you are loved by God, no matter what has gone well the day before or what lies ahead today. Perfect for a prayer journal!

Finding Peace in a Culture of Anxiety – sermon series from Philippians with practical encouragement to point you to Christ in the midst of anxiety.

*Some affiliate links used in the post.

Photo credits:

Header photo: by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

Internal photos: by Simon Maage on Unsplash,  Denisse Leon on Unsplash , Aaron Burden on Unsplash

“This is it. This is her final journey home,” my husband said.

For the past 24 hours, our phones had blown up with text messages from my father-in-law. My husband’s 94-year-old grandmother was in the hospital. The doctors had just made their diagnosis. This would be her journey to Heaven.

She had told us for years that she was ready. She’d been relatively energetic despite a slow-growing leukemia doctors had diagnosed her with years ago. We all joked that she might outlive all of us.

Grandma’s illness lasted weeks longer than anyone thought. What a rare gift to be able to say a long goodbye, to share one last round of stories, to hear one more song played by a great-grandchild, to exchange “I love you” one last time.

At her funeral, the pastor asked friends and family to share stories. I twitched awkwardly in my seat. “Did you know they were going to do this?” I whispered to my husband. He shook his head no.

One by one, her community blessed us by sharing story after story of what she meant to them. The hats she crocheted for thousands of babies. The countless prayers uttered with neighbors. Her community dearly loved her.

The pastor used the word “joy” to describe her life. When you know her full story, which included being widowed in her 40’s and a cancer survivor, she’s a testimony to the joy of the Lord being our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

[pinit]

How can the joy of the Lord be our strength, in the midst of heartache, pain, and such a confusing world?

Several months before Grandma fell ill, Kedron asked her to share her testimony with him. He recorded her 4-minute story on his phone.

She said that at the age of 12, after asking Jesus to come into her life, everything just seemed better. “Oh I wanted to go to heaven right now. Look at all that’s up there. Birds sounded more beautiful than ever, the sky more blue. Everything was different.”

[tweetherder]Everything was different because of Jesus. Even pain. [/tweetherder]

[pinit]

Even when the Lord took her husband home at the age of 47. Nearing the end of her life her anthem was, “The Lord is still blessing me.” At 94, despite all the heartache and the physical pain. She saw His blessing. She had her eyes on Him.

[tweetherder]Jesus was her whole life. That was her joy.[/tweetherder]

If your “everything” is wrapped up in a child or marriage or job or opportunity, it will surely disappoint.

[tweetherder]But when Jesus is your everything you will have true joy no matter the circumstance.[/tweetherder]

Our pastor has been preaching a series out of Philippians called “Choosing Joy Under Pressure.” This clip from a few weeks ago, reminded me of Grandma’s life. To live is Christ, to die is gain. (Email subscribers click here to view video.)

That’s the joy of Jesus. This is how His joy becomes our strength: when He is our life.

[tweetherder]Joy is not dependent on our changing circumstances. Jesus is the joy that never changes.[/tweetherder]

Grandma’s life had some unpleasant circumstances. But it didn’t matter what happened to her, she focused on what had been done for her. And Jesus had done an incredible thing by giving his life for hers. She gave her life back to him, and that brought joy.

We can do the same.

How has the joy of the Lord been your strength? Do you know someone whose life is marked by joy?

Related Resources:

As My Parents Age: Reflections on Life, Love and Change by Cynthia Ruchti is a beautiful and encouraging book for anyone with aging parents. It’s not a “how to” but rather a “me too” filled with insight and wisdom from the experiences of others, Scripture, and poetry. November is national caregiving month. Pick up a copy for yourself or a friend as a gift.

In my book Pray A to Z: A Practical Guide to Pray for Your Community, I included prayers on the themes of joy, caregivers, the elderly, and more. When you’re lacking the words, or where to begin, my prayer is this book will jumpstart your conversations with God and bring you closer to Him.

Suprised by Joy: The Shape of my Early Life by C.S. Lewis – This memoir by the beloved author gives an inside look at his early life and his journey from atheism to Jesus and ultimately the deep joy he found in Christ.

*Affiliate links used in this post.
Photo credits:
Noah Silliman
Mohamed Nohassi
Zac Durant

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Guest post by Susie Finkbeiner. Be sure to leave a comment on this post to be entered in a drawing for her new novel A Song of Home, third in a trilogy about a young girl named Pearl Spence set in the 1930’s Dustbowl era.

When I was a kid my mom often played her Simon and Garfunkel record while she cooked or we all pitched in to clean the house. The record was a recording of their 1981 reunion concert in Central Park and I knew the words to every single song. I still do, as a matter of fact.

Music is like that.

I’d dust the bookshelf and sing Kodachrome, sweep the kitchen along to The Boxer, fold laundry while humming the harmony of The Sounds of Silence. When Cecilia came on I’d drum my hands on the dining room table.

But when Homeward Bound started, I’d feel the longing for home in Paul Simon’s voice. I’d tried to hide it, the way that song made me feel like crying.

In case you haven’t heard it, the song is about a singer traveling around when all he wants is to go back home.

I sure have felt that way throughout my life. If I had to guess, I’d say that I’m not alone in that.

In the song, Paul Simon talks of home as the place where he’s able to let his mind wander, where the music of his soul lives, where the one he loves waits for him. He says nothing of the number of rooms or square feet in that home. Doesn’t mention the furniture or if it’s immaculately kept.

The part of home that he misses is the atmosphere, the occupants.

Several years ago I had the opportunity to travel several hundred of miles away for a big, fancy writers conference. All the BIG name authors were there. Editors and agents sat at the ready to meet with people like me; writers hoping to land a book contract.

I didn’t have to cook, clean, or make my own coffee for three days. My showers went uninterrupted, no one woke me up in the middle of the night. It was like a vacation.

A vacation that made me count down the hours until I could get back on the road back home.

Home. Where my kids’ laughter bounces off the walls. Where hugs are given freely. Home. Where grimy fingerprints dirty piano keys and where – more than once – a toad was let loose in the kitchen. Home. Where my husband’s car magazines are stacked on the back of the toilet. Where we share meals at a table with mismatch chairs on chipped dishes. Home. Where we started this little family, my husband and I.

Home. Where we pray together, comfort each other, love deeply, and try our hardest to trust God.

And, even as cramped as we are in this home, I treasure it. As messy and chaotic as it sometimes gets, I cherish it. Because it’s here that we’ve grown together, the five of us.

I still listen to Simon and Garfunkel while I clean. My kids are learning to appreciate them, even though their proving to be more Beatles fans (which I’m okay with).

But now when Homeward Bound comes on it doesn’t rise up melancholy in me. Not anymore. These days that song gets me feeling quite content. Thankful, even.

There really is no place like home.

Leave a comment on this post and be entered to win a copy of A Song of Home. What does “coming home” mean to you? What gives you a sense of home and belonging?

Susie Finkbeiner is the bestselling author of A Cup of Dust, A Trail of Crumbs, and A Song of Home. She’s a wife, mother, and novelist living the story in West Michigan.

I stand in the kitchen and stare out my back window into our small backyard. I see the worn, wooden back fence and leaves and walnuts covering the now-brown grass. In my imagination, however, I see a tiny oasis filled with color: spring tulips in a rainbow of colors, happy daffodils smiling at the sun, green grass, hostas filling the corners, and a shady spot to sit on a bench and read and pray.

We may be entering the gray season of winter, but I’m already envisioning and planning how I can turn my backyard into a sacred space next spring.

Today, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julie Cantrell shares how to create a prayer garden in your backyard. This is on my to-do list for spring as we continue to improve our little fixer-upper.

Create a Prayer Garden in Six Simple Steps

by Julie Cantrell

The idea of a Prayer Garden can be traced back thousands of years, when monks began establishing meditative areas around their monasteries. Today, many Catholic parishioners choose to pray in a Mary Garden, a landscaped area created around a statue of the Blessed Virgin, sometimes incorporating the Stations of the Cross.

Some hospitals incorporate Serenity Gardens, Prayer Gardens, or Meditation Gardens in their green spaces, inviting patients and their loved ones to seek comfort among the quiet blooms. Likewise, many spas and retreats offer Prayer Labyrinths or Meditation Gardens for their visitors.

Now, you can create this kind of spiritual space in your own backyard.

[tweetherder]Learn how to create a spiritual space in your own backyard from @JulieCantrell[/tweetherder]

How to Create a Prayer Garden?

There are no rules for making a Prayer Garden, but these six steps may simplify the process.

1. Select a space that offers the peace and quiet you seek during prayer or meditation. Be sure to include room for outdoor seating, unless you prefer to kneel, walk, or sit as you pray.

2. Incorporate a section in the shade and another in the sun, if possible. Then you can plant both shade-loving and sun-loving perennials.

3. Create an area large enough to incorporate a specific focal point. Some opt for an icon of St. Francis, Mary, or Jesus, for example. Others may prefer a water feature, sizeable stone, or favorite flower. Whether a cross, chimes, or carved statue, the idea is to find something to focus your attention away from all your worries.

4. Follow basic gardening principals when preparing the beds. Remove all grass and weeds (including roots) from the garden area. Till the soil and mix in nutritious potting soil. Another alternative is to create a raised bed by constructing a frame above ground, or perhaps even a designating a section of patio pots or window boxes for gardeners with limited lawn space.

5. Choose plants that bring comfort. Avoid any unpleasant fragrances or allergy-triggers, and consider incorporating flowers that represent your faith. For example, Lilies can symbolize purity or rebirth. Bleeding Heart represents Mary’s mourning as the mother of Christ. Many prayer gardens incorporate resurrection ferns, dogwood trees, and white roses. Herbs are also a popular choice, particularly rosemary and lavender.

6. Pay attention to the labels when you purchase your plants. Be sure to plant taller species in the rear of the garden (or in the center of a circular bed), with shorter plants along the front or perimeter. Follow spacing instructions and take note of the seasonal calendar to ensure year-round foliage and blooms throughout the garden.

[tweetherder]Prayer Gardens can offer a restful retreat. [/tweetherder]

They serve as a place for visitors to relax, recharge, and find rejuvenation. They also provide space for us to surround ourselves with the comfort of nature as we tune in to something bigger than ourselves. By creating such a place in your garden, you can treat yourself to a moment of peace each day, a basic gift that will do wonders for your soul.

Julie Cantrell is an award-winning New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, teacher, and speaker. She ran a small-scale sustainable family farm for six years in Oxford, MS. and strives to get her hands in the dirt each day. Perennials is her fourth novel. Learn more at www.juliecantrell.com and explore her Prayer Garden board at http://pinterest.com/juliecantrell

*Affilliate links used in post.

Header photo credit:
Annie Spratt
Verse photo credit:
Rami Khalil
All other photos provided by Julie Cantrell

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