American Abstract

The Football Blog

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 06:03:00 +0000

As many of you have been requesting more of my football writings, I have decided to treat you all to a new Friend of the Abstract. This new friend is my second blog. It focuses strictly on the football. This will include my mock drafts that used to get posted here, as well as some other stuff as well. All of the articles will be football focused. Sometimes pro, sometimes college, and sometime, even high school. I will have frequesnt Mock Drafts, updates on my NFL Power Rankings, my College Football top 25, as well as some other neat features.

Please realize though this blog is still "under construction" there is something there now, but more to come very very soon. For those of you who want my other writings and ramblings, stick with the Abstract. For those who are in a frenzy about football, welcome to our new home Football Frenzy !!!

I am back

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 23:40:00 +0000

So, buy popular request, I am returning to the world of blogging. Seriously, I have been swamped, and although this is no excuse, I have not been keeping you all up on my life's happenings.

Tonight I wanted to share some pretty cool pictures that Jayme and I have had done. I am obviously the dead sexy one, and she is kind nice looking too I must say. If you have a favorite, let me know. If it is the same as mine I'll tell you. If it not, you are wrong and I will tell you. I hope you all enjoy looking at them as much as I enjoyed taking them.

Engagement Pics

PSA #5u

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:10:00 +0000

Well folks I am a day late, but I am going to pretend I am not, and I wanted to wish you all a very happy fourth of July. This holiday, dedicated to our country's birth, and its proud spirit, is traditionally spent with family around the BBQ with beers in hand. And if that weren't dangerous enough, then we add firecrackers to the mix and we are almost guaranteed to watch Darwinism in action, as Aunt Ethel's newest "friend", a guy who already has two too many first names, Billy Joe Bob, stumbles his Coors Light drinking (because today is a holiday and we have to have the good stuff) ass out into the middle of the road where he will use his cigarette as a lighter and announce proudly to the group "Hey y'all, check this out."

You see kids, isn't celebrating the nation's birthday fun !!!

And also of note on this patriotic weekend, I too will be celebrating, as I am agreeing to pay even more taxes, for the rest of this year, and the foreseeable future. You see, I just reached an agreement to leave my position as a manager for Kanes Furniture and join the team at Publix, the nations largest privately owned Supermarket chain. For those of you that don't know Pubix, they are a fortune 500 company who each of the last 15 years have been rated as one of the nation's 100 best companies to work for (one of only 9 companies to have a streak as long) by fortune magazine.

Anyhow, I have agreed to join their team, as the newly created Junior Vice President of Training and Managerial Development for the IS Business Unit. This is a great opportunity for me to move to a company where I can really see myself working till retirement, and between the culture there, and the generous benefits package and salary, I know I will be a happy camper. Not only am I going to be reaching new financial heights, but I will also be regaining my nights and weekends, as I am only asked to work from 8:30am - 4:00pm, Monday thru Friday.

So, in conclusion, I wanted to end this fifth Public Service announcement by wishing a happy birthday to our beloved country, and happy new job to myself, and a happy new prosthetic left arm, glass eye, and two skin grafting surgeries to Bill Joe Bob.

Thanks for the Advice, Derrick...

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 05:21:00 +0000

OK, so check this out. As many of you know Miss Jayme and I have been talking more and more about the idea of marriage, and with conversations like that you really start to examine your personal philosophies on life, and partnership. Now I understand that as we grow and experience new things, our philosophies change, and often, depending on the precise nature of our previous interactions with other equally inept, sorry excuses for human beings that we tend to label "friends" or sometime even "family", those philosophical standpoints become quite jaded (how else could we explain the blather that Yankee John tries to pass off as commentary), (sorry John, but it has been a while since I have sent any anthrax laced hate mail your way and I kind of miss the guilty pleasures it brings).

Getting back on topic, the marriage talks with Jayme have forced me to take a look at my own feelings about marriage. Now I have the perspective of a divorcee, so therefore, my current feelings towards the idea of holy matrimony may have taken a bit of a beating over the past two years or so. That is unfair to both myself, and to my lovely other, so therefore, I decided to examine my thoughts of marriage at an earlier stage in my life. Unfortunately for me, I have a hard time these days remembering that my underwear goes on before my pants, so trying to recall a philosophical standpoint I had during the late eighties is quite frustrating. (My mother struggles remembering the late eighties too, but for an entirely different reason... actually come to think of it, the reasoning may not be all that different after all, as I am guessing my mother's lack of recollection also stems from the fact that I was a ten year old terror) (sorry mom, but when the jabs start flying you never can be really sure who will get hit next).

Focus.... Focus... Oh yeah, ok so back to my philosophical issue. I have been trying to recall my high end philosophies on the topic of marriage at the ripe old age of ten, when I ran into a complete roadblock. Now, never one to be deterred, I decided that the complexities of decade old thought were likely to be as varied as James Dopico's hairstyles of the last decade, and therefore, my thought on marriage at ten years old was quite likely akin to any ten year old's thoughts on marriage. Thusly (and a big fuck you to Mr Conley), to surpass my recollection difficulties, I simply had to tap the minds of current ten year olds, and I would arrive at a likely close approximation of my though process on marriage b.c.j (before the current jading).

So without any further adieu, (there has been more than enough adieu already), here are some thoughts of ten year old on marriage:

HOW YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Yes folks, the wonderful minds of youth. And after all of this all I know is that when Jayme and I finally do decide to marry, i will always know which kids are mine if I can find the ones she is yelling at. Good tip Derrick...

The Working Man

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:16:00 +0000

Just been reminded how much working for a living sucks. For those of you who haven't heard yet, this week I began my second career, albeit hopefully temporarily until SnapDragon and Steinbach consulting really take off. I was hired by Kane's Furniture, a Central Florida based Home Furnishings company to join their corporate team. As a result, my training has begun, and now I am forced to keep a regular schedule. As the office I have been reporting to is located in St Pete, and Tampa traffic sucks, I have been having to wake up every day between 6 and 7 am. Now for many of you that wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but for me, a guy who hasn't had to set an alarm for the last half year, this takes some getting used to.

Not that i am really complaining. It is really nice to be part of a team, and earning a regular salary again. Plus, although I am only 3 days in, the people I work with seem really cool so far. Still, the working stiff routine is going to take some getting adjusted to.

Just thought I'd fill you all in.

One Year Older

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 04:31:00 +0000

Just wanted to say thank you to all of you who emailed me to wish me a happy birthday. For those of you who were able to be a part of the festivities, I hope you had as much fun as I did.

For those who were unaware, my lovely girlfriend Jayme organized a wonderful birthday celebration for me at a favorite restaurant called Maggiano's. I had the opportunity to see a lot of friends who I hadn't seen in a while. It was really great.

I am going to include some pictures of the evening's event for you all to peruse. I hope you enjoy seeing them as much as we enjoyed posing for them. Simply click on the picture below and you will be taken to the web album to look over all of the pics.

Eric's 29th Birthday

Should anyone want to drop their abstract on these pics, I look forward to hearing it.

Second to Last

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:06:00 +0000

As we continue to get closer to our trek towards the 2007 NFL Draft, I continue to follow all of the news and rumors, and today I will release my second to last mock draft of the first round. Keep in mind, as draft day gets closer, more movement will happen, and could greatly alter my board the big day.

1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU
It seems now to be a two horse race between Russell and Ga Tech wideout Calvin Johnson. Unless the Raiders can land a different QB option before the draft however (McCown from Detroit or Green from KC) Russell will be the choice.

2. Detroit Lions - Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
The Lions are going to trade this pick. It seems now, they are going to send this pick to Tampa, and fall to number 4 on the board, but should they stay at 2, Quinn could get the call.

3. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
The Browns will be largely effected by the action above them, but if the board starts off as I predict, Peterson will be the man at 3. A great RB is hard to find, and Jamal Lewis has a 1 year deal.

4. Tampa Bay Bucs - Calvin Johnson, WR, Ga Tech
With all the hype surrounding Johnson, the Bucs are feeling the heat to trade up to #2 to choose Johnson. I think they will get him staying at 4.

5. Arizona Cardinals - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
Thomas is the best O-lineman in this draft, and Zona needs o-line help badly. Call this a match made in heaven.

6. Washington Redskins - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
Earlier in the draft process, it seemed a tossup as to if Adams or Jamaal Anderson would be the top DE off the board. Now it seems that Adams has moved into a comfortable lead in that category.

7. Minnesota Vikings - Jamaal Anderson, DE, Alabama
Other options here include Michigan DT, Alan Branch, and the safety from LSU, LaRon Landry. The Vikes could go any direction, so Anderson is no guarantee.

8. Atlanta Falcons - LaRon Landry, S, LSU
LaRon could go higher depending on draft day movement. The Falcons however, need a playmaker in the secondary, and Landry is their top choice.

9. Miami Dolphins - Ted Ginn Jr, WR, Ohio St.
Pundits have the Phins choosing a DT or OL here. They are both possibilities, but I see new coach Cameron choosing the best playmaker available. Enter Ginn.

10. Houston Texans - Levi Brown, OL, Penn St.
The lack of top tier talent at the tackle position will result in Levi Brown and Central Michigan's Joe Staley being drafted higher than expected. Brown will likely be a top 10 pick.

11. San Francisco 49ers - Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
Talk about all over the place. Some experts see branch as a top three pick. Others see him falling to the back end of round 1. I still have him as the top DT on the board, and San Fran would be elated to have a talent like him on their d-line.

12. Buffalo Bills - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
The Bills will also look at Marshawn Lynch if they stay at 12. They could look to trade up for Peterson also. But should they stay, Hall makes the most sense, as they can get their RB with a Michael Bush in Rd 2.

13. St Louis Rams - Amobi Akoye, DT, Louisville
The Rams are going to draft to improve the 31st rated defense in the league. Akoye has the highest upside of any defensive player in this draft as he is only 19 years old.

14. Carolina Panthers - Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
The Panthers will also look hard at linebacker with this pick. In the end however, they will choose Olsen as no player helped his stock at more at the combine than did the next in a long line of quality Miami TE's.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
Aaron Ross has moved up to the number 2 CB spot on my board, and the Steelers could use a top corner. Of course they could also look linebacker/d-end here too.

16. Green Bay Packers - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
Although Lynch's character will call some questions, he is still going to be chosen by the Packers here because of need. No other RB is worth the choice here, and the Pack really needs a top ball carrier now that Green has left town.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jarvis Moss, DE, Florida
Moss could here his name called when the Steelers pick at 15, but if he doesn't Jacksonville could be a great fit for the national champion pass rusher.

18. Cincinnati Bengals - Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss
Willis has the talent to go a lot higher in this draft, and should someone fall it could be Willis taking their place. However, should he still be on the board when Marvin Lewis and Co start their pick, expect to see him a Bengal.

19. Tennessee Titans - Dewayne Jarrett, WR, USC
I do not like Jarrett as a pro. I think, like former USC wide-out Mike Williams, he will be a pro bust. However, if any team can make this kid a star, it is Norm Chow and Tennessee.

20. New York Giants - Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida St.
The G-men have a bunch of needs, including OT, LB, CB, and S. Having said this, Timmons will be the highest rated player at any of these positions on the board at this point, and thus he will be playing next season in NY.

21. Denver Broncos - Adam Carriker, DE, Nebraska
I see the Broncos selecting Carriker with the idea that he can replace what was lost when the team let Trevor Price go to Baltimore.

22. Dallas Cowboys - Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
America's team could also look at OL or WR here, but I see the speed of Houston being too much for Wade Phillips defense not to acquire.

23. Kansas City Chiefs - Robert Meacham, WR, Tennessee
The Chiefs would be elated to see Meacham fall to them here. Giving the team a true number 1 wide out for the first time in years.

24. New England Patriots - Jon Beason, LB, Miami
The Pats will look to fill holes in the back seven with both first round picks. Beason is a monster athlete who will be able to be used in many of Master Bill's schemes.

25. New York Jets - Anthony Spencer, DE, Perdue
Ultimately, the Jets want to see Greg Olsen fall to them. Since I don't see that happen, they will then select the best pass rusher on the board. Ask any o-lineman in the big ten who the best pass rusher in the nation was and they will all say the same thing, the former Boilermaker.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
The signing of Takeo Spikes changes the draft strategy for the Eagles, and allows them to address the secondary. Nelson alongside Dawkins keeps this defense playoff ready.

27. New Orleans Saints - Paul Posluzny, LB, Penn State
The Saints improved their offense tremendously last year. Now they will look defense. The former Penn Stater will not only give the Saints a great ball player, but the linebacker U grad will also be a great locker room influence too.

28. New England Patriots - Michael Griffin, S, Texas
After choosing LB with their last pick, the Pats will address the secondary with this choice. Griffin is another great athlete, and will be a great fit as he learns from the vet Rodney Harrison.

29. Baltimore Ravens - Joe Staley, OT, Central Michigan
Any other year, Staley is a second round pick. Like I said earlier, because of the dearth of top tackles though, he will go early. The Ravens will also look at cornerbacks, but in the end Staley will get the call.

30. San Diego Chargers - Dewayne Bowe, WR, LSU
The Chargers are the most talented team in the league. Adding the sure handed Bowe to their already dangerous offense will simply further this cause.

31. Chicago Bears - Brandon Merriweather, S, Miami
Look to the Bears to go back to the well where they found Devin Hester last year. Merriweather is a talent, although he could be skipped as a result of his behavioral issues.

32. Indianapolis Colts - Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
The world champs need lots of help on defense, and Moses could fit the bill if he returns to his 05 form. Had the former Bulldog come out last year he would have gone much higher.

There Back...

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 04:23:00 +0000

Ladies and Dudes....
Guess what? They are back. Who you ask? (As if you had to). Seriously though, this Sunday is like the perfect alignment of all things good.

First off, it is Easter Sunday. As many of you know, I am Jewish, but I am a big fan of bunnies, so we have to mention this joyous holiday celebrating the furry rabbits and their odd annual obsession with eggs.

Secondly, Sunday marks the 29th anniversary of my birth. Now usually, anything involving me, especially those events that exist only to honor me, such as my birthday, would get top billing, but the rebirth of Jesus Christ pushed my b-day down to second billing this year. Hey, if you are going to get bumped, the "rebirth" of the messiah (or at the very least a prophet) is not a bad gig to lose out to.

Sunday's third groundbreaking, monumental event is the return of the Family. No, I am not talking about my family coming to Tampa to visit me for my birthday (that's right, mine, not Jesus') (and thank you by the way to Mom, Grandpa, Marshall and Emmy). I am discussing our favorite family from Jersey.

That's right everyone. They are back. On Sunday night, HBO will bring us back in touch with the Sopranos. Tony and crew are back for the second half of season 6, and although this will be the final episodes of the highly acclaimed drama, I cannot wait a minute longer.

Since the first episode of the first season, I have been a loyal follower of the Sopranos. Seriously, to me, it is the best show on television... period. And each year I have had to wait longer and longer between seasons to get my family fix. Now my waits are over. After this season, there will be no more, and I will miss the family, but I cannot wait to see how this all wraps up.

America, let me hear your Sopranos abstract. Tell me of your favorite Sopranos moment, your favorite character, or who you think will be the first major character whacked during this final season.

My New Friend

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 20:13:00 +0000

So as many of you know, one of my new businesses that I am launching right now is a dojo. I will be teaching Martial Arts with a friend of mine at a satellite school of the school I train at. Along with my partner, and my instructor, we hope to start as a training group renting out space in a rec center, and eventually expand into our own building with a full run dojo, like the one we current train at.

To accomplish the launching of this business, my partner and I needed a place where we can being to teach our classes. We have been looking all over, and the most logical place was the rec center in the city we live in. So, as logic would dictate, we approached the staff at the rec center, and asked what it would take for us to be able to teach there.

To make a long story short, the staff lady there has been giving us the runaround, because it seems that there is already someone there teaching Martial Arts. Now I know it is popular opinion that Martial Arts are Martial Arts, but that is simply not the case. There are different styles of martial arts out there, just as there are different styles of dance out there. Now this rec center has no problem having one person who teaches ballet there, and another who teaches tap/jazz, because as she says, she can see the difference. She doesn't however understand what makes the form of martial arts that we teach any different than what is already being taught.

So, I had been tasked with creating a DVD to give to her, which depicts the difference between Shotokan (what is already being taught) and Ninjutsu (what we teach). So I began on the process and I realized again why I hate software sometimes. You would think it should be easy to rip a DVD which I own which shows the practice of Ninjustu and use some of those scenes, and download a few Shotokan videos from Youtube, and then place these video scenes side by side, and burn them to DVD. This should have been simple. Unfortunately, it was not. Youtube stores their videos in one format, and my DVD ripper rips DVD's in another format. What I needed was a software program that converts one format of video into another.

As we become more and more technologically advanced, this seems to be happening more and more. I have a file in this format, but I need it in that format. I have a windows file, I need a OSX file. I have a linux file, I need a windows file. This is getting crazy. So I began my search for a program that could help me.

Long live the open source community. What I found was a program called Media Convert. This neat website can take a file in almost an format, and convert it to almost any other format. in fact, you don't even always need a source file, you can point it to the source URL if the file is embedded on a website, ala Youtube, and it can work from there. This free site is awesome, and as a result is the newest friend of the abstract.

If you are ever in need of file conversion, this is the site to go to http://media-convert.com/convert/. Best of all, it is free !!!

Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:59:00 +0000

This is going to be a brief post. i am writing to let all of my readers know that I will be on a small hiatus from writing as I take pause to say goodbye to my grandmother, Rachel Ruth Miller Schaeffer, who left us on Thursday March 22, 2007.

I know you will all understand my pause at a time like this, and for those of you who have sent them, my family and I appreciate your condolences and prayers.

RACHAEL RUTH MILLER SCHAEFFER
March 20, 1916 - March 22, 2007

Update Time

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 17:32:00 +0000

An Interesting observation I just made, by reading over some of the email I get as a result of authoring this blog. Many of you out there have commented on my month long hiatus on making posts, and I figured that everyone was missing my witty monologues about nothing in particular, which has become also know as, my life. I was mistaken however. You all don't really care about what is up with my life, instead, my email has been a badgering about "who do you think my team will select in the first round" and "do you see the Jamal Lewis signing impacting the first round?" It seems that I am loved for only my profound football insight, so with only a little more adieu, here is my updated first round mock 2007 draft.

These projections include combine performances, and the initial blitz of free agency signings. Things can and will change between and the draft, so stay tuned.

1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU
Not all that much has changed for Oakland this offseason. Dominic Rhodes will be a good second to Lamont Jordan, but that doesn't affect first round projections. As long as Al Davis can control himself and not draft the freakish Calvin Johnson, Russell will replace Brooks as the Raiders starter, and the Raiders will again be on the clock.

2. Detroit Lions - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
With the acquisition of George Foster in the deal Dre Bly deal, this is no longer a lock pick. Ultimately, the Lions should trade down, but assuming they stay, I still see Thomas as the best pick for Detroit.

3. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
Although the Browns did indeed sign Jamal Lewis, they only signed him for a 1-year deal. They will still take Peterson here, and allow him to slowly acclimate himself to the rigors of a full NFL season. This 1-2 HB punch should give signal caller Charlie Frye more time to develop, and could help the Browns back towards the playoffs!!!

4. Tampa Bay Bucs - Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
Tampa needs a lot of help, and one pick won't get it done. John Gruden is an offensive minded head coach, and although DT Alan Branch will get consideration,
Johnson will be too good to pass on. If Joe Thomas falls, however, things could get interesting.

5. Arizona Cardinals - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
Ultimately the Cards want Thomas. So much so, I can see them trying to swap picks with Detroit, giving up a 3rd or 4th rounder in the process. Should the board fall as I predict however, the Cards will select Adams as the highest rated pass rusher in the draft.

6. Washington Redskins - Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
The skins sorely need help in their front seven, and Branch may be the best DT prospect to come out of college since Warren Sapp. Branch can change games with his play, and the Skins really need his presence in the middle.

7. Minnesota Vikings - Jamaal Anderson, DE, Alabama
The Vikes will be tempted by both QB, Brady Quinn, and WR, Ted Ginn here, but in the end they will settle on Anderson, hoping he can add a pass rush element to their defense.

8. Houston Texans - Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
This pick is dependent upon Houston finding a trading partner for David Carr, but in the end, he will be dealt, and Kubiak and Co will choose Quinn as their QB of the future.

9. Miami Dolphins - Ted Ginn Jr, WR, Ohio St.
Many teams have the Phins looking DT here, but with the signing of Porter, and offensive guru Cam Cameron at the helm, the team will go with the explosive Ginn. Ginn also provideds the team with the replacement they need for the exited Wes Welker in the return game.

10. Atlanta Falcons - LaRon Landry, S, LSU
It is pretty obvious that the Falcons are in need of a top notch safety, since the Malloy/Crocker combination was the worst in football last year. Now, after the combine has been completed, it seems that the question of who the highest rated safety will be has also been answered.

11. San Francisco 49ers - Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
The 9ers have already gotten appreciably better defensively with the Clements addition, but now adding the 19yr old Okoye from Louisville will make this defense dangerous. Okoye will have a year alongside Bryant Young to learn, and then watch out.

12. Buffalo Bills - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
Losing Clements hurt Buffalo and Hall has they ability to make the mourning period much shorter. Unfortunately, this pick is no longer a lock, as after trading away starting HB Willis McGahee to Baltimore, RB, Marshawn Lynch will get a long look too.

13. St Louis Rams - Lawrence Timmons, LB, FSU
Athletic and fast, Timmons will immediately start alongside Will Witherspoon, helping a defense that could not stop the run last year.

14. Carolina Panthers - Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss
The primary need of the Panthers is LB, and the resigning of Na'il Diggs is not the answer. Morgan has been injury prone, and the addition of Willis will make such situations much more manageable for this defense.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - Darrelle Revis, CB, Pitt
After losing Joey Porter, the Steelers will take a long look at tweener Jarvis Moss from the National Champion Gators. However, in the end, the Steelers will remember their porous pass defense and select Revis as the #2 corner on the board.

16. Green Bay Packers - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
It was anticipated that this would be the selection, as running back Amahn Green was turing 30, a watershed year for running backs. Now it seems this pick is even more important as Amahn has bolted the Bay for Greener (pun intended) pastures in Houston.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jarvis Moss, DE, Florida
The Jags have two pressing needs. They need a safety now that Grant has left for Seattle, but they also need a major pass rusher off the end. although Moss is rated behind Nebraska standout Adam Carriker on my board, he fits the tweener position Jacksonville needs to fill, and therefore he get the call.

18. Cincinnati Bengals - Jon Beason, LB, Miami
The Bengals are a team who needs to find players with no character questions. Where better to look, then Coral Gables FL, a beacon of moral light in college football. Seriously though, Beason is fast and strong and will quickly make the team forget about the loss of David Pollock.

19. Tennessee Titans - Dewayne Jarrett, WR, USC
The addition of Jarrett to the Titans is perfect as Norm Chow knows Jarrett well from their days at USC. Young needs a target will good hands, especially now that Drew Bennett is a Ram, and Jarrett fits the bill.

20. New York Giants - Levi Brown, OT, Penn St
The G-men lost a lot with the retirement of Tiki Barber, but they traded for Ruben Droughns to come in and replace him. It won't matter however if they don't get someone to replace Luke Pettigout who left to sign with Tampa. Enter Brown.

21. Denver Broncos - Adam Carriker, DE, Nebraska
All offseason I had the Broncos looking at corner for help. They addressed that need in trading for Dre Bly. Now they can focus on shoring up the front seven with Carriker. He can play end or tackle, and that will help offset the loss of Trevor Pryce from last offseason.

22. Dallas Cowboys - Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
The Boys have needs on the o-line that could be addressed too, but with Nelson on the board, new coach Wade Phillips will push Jones to address the hole in the secondary first.

23. Kansas City Chiefs - Robert Meacham, WR, Tennessee
KC really needs some help in a few areas, but WR is not the least. They need a guy who can do everything well, and Meacham is that player. He can come in and provide new starter Damon Huard the options he needs to be sucessful.

24. New England Patriots - Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
The Pats have been very active this offseason, and grabbing Adalius Thomas at LB, and Donte Stallworth at WR were good acquisitions. Now adding Ross to the secondary will help this team in the area they need the most.

25. New York Jets - Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
The Jets biggest priority this offseason was to get themselves a good solid back for their running game. Thomas Jones will be that back. Now they can focus on giving Chad Pennington another weapon in Olsen, the best TE on the board.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - Paul Posluzny, LB, Penn St
The Eagles have a need at LB and with Linebacker U's current most progeny still on the board, they will jump to keep him in PA. Paul brings the right type of attitude to the game, and to the locker room as well.

27. New Orleans Saints - Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
The Saints would love for Posluzny to fall to them, but when he doesn't they will fill their need at corner instead. No DB helped his stock more at the combine than did Chris Houston. His blazing 40-time pushed him into the late first round, and New Orleans will be happy to have that speed working for them next season.

28. New England Patriots - Michael Griffin, S, Texas
How big of a need is secondary in New England. Enough that it will take both of the Patriots first rounders to fill it. After selecting Aaron Ross earlier, the Pats will look to safety with this next pick, and with Landry and Nelson gone, Griffin is the man. The Texas teammates will look great together in New England's now solid secondary.

29. Baltimore Ravens - Anthony Spencer, DE, Perdue
The Ravens biggest loss of the offseason came when Adalius Thomas bolted Baltimore for New England. Ozzie Newsome will not wait long to replace him. Anthony Spencer is the same type of player. Good size and speed, with the ability to play with his hands in the dirt or on his hips.

30. San Diego Chargers - Dewayne Bowe, WR, LSU
San D's resigning of Kris Dielman was huge as it eliminated a need to pick o-line help here. Losing Donnie Edwards hurts, but all of the 1st round linebacker talent will have been sucked up at this point. This leaves replacing Keenan McCardell as the Bolts top priority, and Bowe is almost a McCardell clone, only younger and a step faster.

31. Chicago Bears - Brandon Merriweather, S, Miami
What the Bears really need is a QB to replace Grossman, but choosing Stanton or Smith here would be a reach. Instead, the team will look to replace its depleted secondary, and they will look to the well that brought them standout Devin Hester last year. Merriweather is a similar athlete, and will come into Chi Town and immediately fill a hole in the secondary.

32. Indianapolis Colts - Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
It is amazing that a team as good as Indy can have a defense with such holes. As of this writing, Cato June has not yet been resigned by Indy, and that leaves another hole on the defense. DT is also a big need, and if Nick Harper stays unsigned, this team is going to have trouble repeating their title dreams. Quentin Moses is a talent who if not for his disappointing senior season could have been competing with Gaines Adams and Jamaal Anderson for first DE chosen. He has the size and speed to play up or down, and Indy will value that flexibility especially now.

Shameless Self-Promotion

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:47:00 +0000

They say that viral marketing over the internet is now the number one way to drive traffic to your website. Well, since this is the case, I need to take a moment and plug the newest Friend of the Abstract.

Today's new friend is going to be familiar to all of my readers out there. The reason all of you will know this friend, is because the friend is me. Thats right, I am now the newest friend of my own blog.

I know this may sound to many of you like I have finally lost my marbles (what few remaining I had anyway). Give me a second more of your time, and you will understand what i am talking about.

As many of you out there are aware, last October I lost my job. No, I didn't misplace it, I "had my position eliminated". Anyhow, not to dwell, but also, as many of you know, since then, I have been looking for new work.

Over the last few months I have been on many interviews. I have even received a few offers here and there, but unfortunately, none have been to my liking. This created a dilemma of sorts, as my income suddenly stopped, but my expenses did not. Unlike many I know however, I was prepared for my rainy day. I had finally learned to be smart, and I listened to some advice that my grandfather gave me when I was little. "Live on 10% less than what you make, so you will always have some money put away just in case," he used to tell me. Thanks to that advice, and my learning more about budgeting than any human ever wanted to know during my MBA program, I had some money set aside, just in case.

Because I had listened, I was in no hurry to take the first offer that came along, and instead I decided I could wait for the right offer to come about. At the same time however, being the person who I am, I had no desire to dwindle my little nest egg down to nothing while I waited for a year for "the right offer".

In the mean time, I learned that I said some very savvy friends out there. You see, once they found out I was unemployed, and looking for a new job, they approached me to see if I could help them find new jobs too (hey, as long as I was out there looking, right?). So as I reworked my resume, polished my interview and negotiation skills, and began networking in earnest, some of my good buddies figured, why not go along for the ride. To make a boring story short, over the last four months, I have rewritten 5 resumes (plus mine), prepared 4 people for interviews (plus mine), assisted in 2 salary negotiations, and helped 2 pals land new gigs (none for me thank you very much).

Then came a fortuitous dinner with a couple who I am friends with. My better half and I took them out to dinner to celebrate the holidays with them. The lady half of this couple was telling me about her problems at work. She made mention of all of the troubles she was having and how her boss (who also happened to to be the business owner) was trying to help her fix the issues to no avail. I told her my thoughts on the problem, and I suggested that she and her boss contact a business consultant to come in and help them out. She seemed to think this was a great idea, and she asked me if I new of anyone who could do the job.

Here is where another lesson my grandfather (and quite possibly every other adult in my life from age 4 and up) taught me came in. "Kaddish," he used to say, "you need to learn to think before you speak" (I have a habit of saying some of the most profoundly dumb comments sometimes). So just as I was about to tell my friend about this consultant that her husband and I both train with, who could do a great job for her, I took pause and remembered to think first.

I realized that everything she needed, not only could my friend do, but so could I. And since I was not generating any income at all, and had some free time on my hands from being unemployed and all, I could do the job myself. So rather than become Yenta the matchmaker, I insted chose the route of Donald Trump the entrepreneur. I sold her on using me for the consulting work, and thus the birth of Steinbach Consulting.

Since then, I have completed that first job (and according to the client, did a first rate job), and have also landed a few more gigs. In addition, based on my earlier successes with helping my pals with their employment situations, I have added an entire "Employee Services" division to my repertoires.

So now that I have left the land of the unemployed, and entered the world of the self-employed, I must start pushing my wares on anyone who I know in the hopes they can send some business my way. I have my company website up, and therefore, since I know in advance that I am going to provide the type of service to my clients that I love to rave about here on the Abstract, I am preemptively adding Steinbach Consulting to Friends of the Abstract. If any of you, my loyal readers, have a need for my services, or you know anyone who has a need for my services, please let me know. I will pay a referral fee out to anyone who sends me new business of any kind, so it will pay for you to look at my website, www.steinbachconsultinggroup.com, and see what types of services I am offering to businesses, new college graduates, and employees looking for their next step in their careers.

As usual, feedback would be appreciated, so check out the new website, www.steinbachconsultinggroup.com, and let me know your Abstract.

A Nice Change of Pace

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:06:00 +0000

Just a quick shout out to a company who has learned to provide excellent customer service. This evening, I went to dinner at the Olive Garden and I ordered my food. When the food came out, I found that the chicken I had ordered had not been cooked correctly. The edge of the chicken breast had been over cooked, and was kind of tough. I complained to the waiter, and he of course went to get the manager. When the manager came to the table, he asked what was wrong. I told him, and he immediately offered to have the cook fix the meal, even though I had already eaten over half of the meal.

Then, when the meal came back out, and it was perfect, the manager did something totally unexpected. he came to the table to check on the recooked food, and then he paid for the meal. Now some of you out there may think that the manager should have done that, however, I am not one of those people.

Yes I am a stickler for customer service, but in no way does that mean I expect a business to go out of business to service the customer. They are in business to make a profit, and I respect that. That is why I would have expected the manager to either have paid for the meal, or made a new one. Instead, the manager did both, and in going above and beyond, he made me a fond customer who will definitely return. Go Olive Garden !!!!

If anyone out there has an awesome customer service experience, let me know. I love to hear great customer service stories.

The Declared

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 21:12:00 +0000

As I am sure many of you realize, Monday was a very big day in the NFL. On Monday we were able to officially find out which underclassmen were going to make the leap from college to pro and which players were going to stay behind for another year of collegiate education. Every year we get surprises, as some players we thought would make the jump don't, while other who could really use another year of development come out too early. This year was no different. Guys who I had as first rounders chose to stay in school like Arizona Cornerback, Antoine Cason and Louisville Quarterback, Brian Brohm. Then there was Colt Brennan declaring. NFL beware, Colt will be a bust. Don't draft him.

Now that the underclassmen have declared, and we can see how all of the players performed in their final bowl games, here is my updated mock draft for 2007.

1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU
The Raiders have lots of needs, including QB, and Russell is a talent. Unfortunately he is not the best QB in this draft. That honor goes to Brady Quinn, but expect the Silver and Black to pass on the pocket passer, and choose the more athletic (read: Al Davis likes speed) Russell.

2. Detroit Lions - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
Thanks to a win in the final week, combined with the Raiders' general ineptitude, the lions don't have the first overall pick and that is a blessing. At 1, they would have had to pick a QB, which they don't really need. At two, they can go for the best lineman in the draft, a position that will definitely provide help, and Thomas is the class of this class.

3. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
Cleveland could very well look to select DT Alan Branch with this pick, but I expect them to try and improve a pathetic running game from last year. The team is committed to Frye, and therefore wont select Quinn, but Peterson provides him an immediate special weapon. Much will depend however on Peterson's med reports from the combine.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
Johnson is simply the best player in the draft. He really should go higher. The Bucs will choose him here at four and be very happy for having done so. He will immediately give Sims another top target, and Joey Galloway will no longer have to do it all himself. He is not a spring chicken anymore.

5. Arizona Cardinals - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
Arizona desperately would love to land Joe Thomas, so don't be surprised to see them look to trade up, but if they stay here, and Thomas is off the board, they will look to improve their secondary. Leon Hall is the best corner in the draft, and will make a nice 1-2 with Antrell Rolle in the desert.

6. Washington Redskins - Jamaal Anderson, DE, Alabama
Washington's defense was plagued all year by an inability to get after the QB. Anderson is one of the fastest rising prospects on the board right now. He has the right mind set for an NFL pass rushing end and has the skills to go along. Clemson's Gaines Adams is also a possibility here and Michigan DT, Alan Branch will get some consideration, but in the end I see Anderson getting the call.

7. Minnesota Vikings - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
Like Washington, Minnesota could not get pressure on opposing signal callers this season, so a pass rusher will be the priority. I think the Vikes would be happy to see Adams still available to them at this juncture, and I expect him to be in purple in 07.

8. Houston Texans - Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
What Houston really wants to see happen is for Cleveland to select Branch #3, and then see Peterson fall to them here, and it is becoming a more realistic possibility every day, but if Peterson is off the board, I think the team will look to select Branch as he is too talented to pass on. He is a beast in the middle, and next to Mario Williams and Demeco Ryans, their defense will be set for years to come.

9. Miami Dolphins - Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
Like Matt Lienart last year, and Ben Rothlisberger the year before, this is too far for a top signal caller to fall. But rest assured, this is what will happen. With the status of Daunte Culpepper still uncertain, the Phins will not let the best QB in the draft pass them by.

10. Atlanta Falcons - Michael Griffin, S, Texas
Bobby Patrino has just been inked as the new HC for the Falcons, and he is an offensive mind, so this may not play as planned, however, the Falcons really need some help in their secondary. Lawyer Milloy is getting long in the tooth, and DeAngelo Hall is the only young playmaker in the secondary. Ted Ginn Jr is also a possibility if Patrino chooses to acquire more weapons for Vick, but right now I just don't see it.

11. San Francisco 49ers - Ted Ginn Jr, WR, Ohio St
This year we saw Frank Gore erase all doubts of his ability to be a play making back. Now add Ginn to the mix, and the Niners offense could be scary. With former 1st overall selection, Alex Smith at QB, Frank Gore at RB, Vernon Davis a freaky TE, and then Ginn. Good luck NFC west defenses.

12. Buffalo Bills - Darrelle Revis, CB, Pitt
Revis is a bit of a stretch pick here for Buffalo, however, the Bills proved last year they are not afraid of reaching as they selected Whitner about 10-15 picks too early, and McCargo about 2-3 rounds too early. I expect to see superstar corner, Nate Clements, bolt Buffalo this offseason, weakening an already needy secondary. Enter Revis.

13. St Louis Rams - Lemarr Woodley, DE/LB, Michigan
Lemarr Woodley reminds me a lot of Chargers all-pro linebacker, Shawne Merriman. If this proves to be true, I don't think the Rams defense will be a league laughing stock for much longer.

14. Carolina Panthers - Dwayne Jarrett, WR, USC
During the offseason, I believe that both Keyshawn Johnson and Keary Colbert will be gone from Carolina. This will make the biggest priority a big, possession type receiver the priority. Jarrett is big and has great hands. He will go across the middle, and can quickly provide the second option to Steve Smith that the Panthers will need without Keyshawn.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - LaRon Landry, S, LSU
Despite the rather pedestrian 2006 campaign, the Steelers really don't have many needs. As a result they will be in a good spot to fill based on talent upgrades. If Jarrett was to fall to them he may be a consideration to replace the size at WR lost when Burress left the steel city for NYC, however, I dont think he will still be on the board when Pitt picks. This means Landry, a top rated safety on many boards will be available to place opposite Troy Polomalu, really giving the Steelers a young, talented defensive safety corps.

16. Green Bay Packers - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
The Pack, despite their record, are one of the least talented teams in the NFL right now. If Favre retires, that will reduce their talent even more. The talent that Green Bay does have is getting old, and replacing an aging injury prone Amahn Green with Marshawn Lynch will only bring good to the cheesehead nation.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - Levi Brown, OT, Penn St
Jacksonville was very inconsistent last season, at times looking like the NFL elite, and at times looking like a top 10 pick. With it being bye-bye Byron in Jacksonville, the new QB will need some protection, and although Jacksonville was good last year, they were not great. Levi Brown comes in to make a good line great and provide time for either Garrard or Gray to make the throws to lead the offense.

18. Cincinnati Bengals - Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
The Bengals need to get better with their interior defense. John Thornton is simply not the man to get the job done. Okoye is a super young phenom (20 yr old who was a 4 year starter at Louisville) with a tremendous upside, who is vaulting up draft boards all over. If he has impressive workouts in Indy, Okoye could go even higher.

19. Tennessee Titans - Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
Few players are falling down the board as fast as Moses. After the 2005 season, Moses was projected to be the top DE available for this draft. Now after a truly subpar senior campaign, Moses, finds himself falling. If he can regain his 05 abilities, the Titans will have gotten a steal in the draft at this point.

20. New York Giants - Jeff Smardzija, WR, Notre Dame
The G-men have a few needs if they are going to compete for a division title next year, the least of which is not replacing Tiki Barber. Unfortunately for them, Peterson and Lynch will both be gone by this point, and they will have to look elsewhere to provide stability to young Manning. Smardzija is a big and fast target, and showed great hands as Brady Quinn's favorite option at Notre Dame. Across from Burress and along with Shockey, Manning will have options . The question is, what will he do with them.

21. Denver Broncos - Marcus McCauley, CB, Fresno St
With the tragic death of starting cornerback Darrent Williams, the Broncos are going to need to look for a replacement. Thankfully, they are deep in the secondary. Still McCauley gives them options, and will allow for someone to push Foxworth for the starting job opposite Bailey.

22. Dallas Cowboys - Justin Blalock, OL, Texas
The Boys could very well choose a safety like Reggie Nelson from Florida with this pick, but i think their needs on the o-line will outweight those in the secondary. Blalock is big mauler who can play multiple positions on the line. He could be the replacement for Larry Allen that America's team so sorely needs.

23. Kansas City Chiefs - Robert Mecham, WR, Tennessee
The offense in KC needs an additional target to Eddie Kennison in the worst way. Dante Hall is better as a return man, and Samie Parker, doe not scare anyone. Mecham was the Vols leading reciever, and led the nation in yards per catch. He has good hands, and a good size/speed combination. He may be the missing piece in KC's quest, which is also likely to bee QB Trent Green's swan song.

24. New England Patriots (from Sea) - Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
It is no secrete that the Pats need depth in their secondary and at WR. Nelson is the best player from either position still on the board. He is playmaker, and his ability to play either safety or corner will be used extensively by Super Coach Bill.

25. New York Jets - Michael Bush, RB, Louisville
Despite their impressive 2006 campaign, don't be folled, the Jets still have some holes to fill. They are weak at corner, and on the d-line. Their linebackers are step slow (except for Vilma), and they need to get a consistent running game. Who knows what the deal is with Curtis Martin, and although Leon Washington did an admirable job this past year, the Jets need an everydown back like Bush who can take pressure off Pennington.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida St
Ultimate, the Eagles would like to see one of the three top safeties fall to them, but when that doesn't happen, they will select the fastest rising linebacker in Timmons. Timmons had a great year, and combine that with freakish combine workouts like I expect, and Timmons will continue his vault up the board.

27. New Orleans Saints - Paul Posluzny, LB, Penn St
For the Saints to get a guy like Paul Posluzny here is a match made in heaven. The Saints need more from their linebacking corps. Paul is simply a football player. His measurables at the combine will not impress as compared to Timmons or Woodley, but he simply gets the job done. Payton would be drooling to add a charater guy like this to his locker room.

28. New England Patriots - Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU
Since they addressed their secondary with the first of their two picks, look to the Pats to go after Bowe with the second. Last years selection of Chad Jackson has not yet panned out, although are notoriously slow to make the transformation, and Bowe gives them a big presence at WR.

29. Baltimore Ravens - Aaron Sears, OL, Tennessee
The Ravens are in excellent position comming into this draft with very few needs. If Thomas bolts for greener pastures, they may look to OLB HB Blades from Pitt at this pick, otherwise Sears helps solidify an already good line. To pick for filler is really a great place to be on draft day.

30. San Diego Chargers - Steve Smith, WR, USC
With their early exit from the playoffs this year, the Chargers were exposed to have a weakness. Against the Pats, the Chargers wide outs looked more like the Dolphnins crew that led the league in drops than the high powered offense they were. Truth is, McCardell is starting to show his age, and the other guys on the receiving corps are not marque players like Vinny Jackson or Eric Parker. Steve Smith is a SoCal local, and will also give Rivers another top weapon to throw to.

31. Indianapolis Colts - Demarcus Tyler, DT, NC State
Regardless of their recent resurgence, Tony Dungy knows his defense has got to get better. With the career of Corey Simon in doubt and Booger McFarland so far having little impact, Tyler both fills a need and provides value. Considering this past year Tyler posted his best numbers, while not having the protection of first rounders Mario Williams, and Manny Lawson on his team, states oogles for his skills.

32. Chicago Bears - Troy Smith, QB, Ohio State
After laying an egg in the national title game, Troy Smith has begun to fall down many draft boards. I think this is where the Hiesman winners fall will end. The Bears have question Grossman all year, and Griese is definitely a backup. Smith could step in and give the Bears an athletic signal caller who knows how to win.

Stay tuned for future mocks as the combine changes everything.

2 Minute Warning

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:09:00 +0000

This is a 2 minute warning being sent out to all of you. The last chance for you all to get your nominations in for the Raised Thumbs (Best Of's) and Raised Middle Fingers (Worst Of's) for 2006. Just in case you were not sure of the categories, please send me nominations for the following categories:

Best Movie of the Year
Worst Movie of the Year
Best Song of the Year
Worst Song of the Year (A.K.A. "Please turn this fuckin' song off before I shoot myself)
Best Gift I received this Year
Worst Gift I received this Year (A.K.A "The Gravy Boat Gift" in honor of a friend)
Best Surprise of the Year
Worst Surprise of the Year
Person of the Year (famous or not, doesn't matter)
Dunce of the Year (infamous or not, doesn't matter)

I have some nominations for every category, but I want to have more to see if we can get some consensus on results, so if you haven't already emailed me, or posted a comment with your nominations, do so now, before time runs out.

I want to hear your abstract.

PSA #4

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 23:59:00 +0000

Attention. We are currently interrupting your regularly scheduled blog post with this Public Service Announcement. Today we observe Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday. As you all know, Dr King did a huge amount to alter the landscape of our nation, and I ask that each of you just stop for a second today to think about what a wonderful contribution Dr King made.

From all of us to you, Happy Birthday Dr King.

I Want to Work For Bill Ford Too

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 05:58:00 +0000

Now that I am an elite business free agent (like my new term for unemployed bum?), I have many options to consider before joining a new organization. Really, if you were to remove the no income factor, this really is an ideal situation. I can examine what I really want to do with my next career move (Human Resources), and I can choose the type of organization I want to work for (bigger business). I can weigh all of the factors together including pay (I want lots), time off (I want lots), and benefits (I want lots).

In addition to this, I can hope to get a great boss. Now this is where things get tricky. In most situations, I will simply have one or two meeting with my new boss (sometimes fewer) before starting to work for them. In this brief period of time, I am going to hve to size up my new leader, and all I can hope for is that he as good a boss to me as Bill Ford has been to Matt Millen.

When you look at the qualities of a good boss, words like understanding, patient, and loyal come to mind. Honestly, Bill Ford has shows all of these qualities in dealing with employee Millen. Lets quickly look at all three.

Understanding - When you hear the word understanding, you think of a boss who allows for an employee to make mistakes, and treats him with a soft hand even still. Well, Mr Ford has show this excess with Matt Millen. Since taking over as President and CEO of the Detroit Lions in 2002, Matt Millen has made a plethora of mistakes. He has drafted player who don't play very well (Charles Rogers, Joey Harrington, Mike Williams). He has fired one of the most respected coaches in the NFL (Steve Mariucci), and he has signed high priced free agents who have not panned out (Kenoy Kennedy, Dan Wilkinson, Damien Woody). Now most bosses would expect the GM of a pro-football team to draft good players, keep good coaches, and not sign high priced busts, but hindsight is 20-20, and Mr Ford has showed Matt Millen understanding.

Patients - In today's NFL, there is an exceptional amount of pressure on coaches and front office leaders to put a winner on the field and to do so now. Just look at the state of the league. In Arizona, the Cards fired Denny Green after only three seasons. Why? He has too much talent to not be pushing for the playoffs. In Atlanta, the Falcons are searching for Jim Mora Jr's replacement. Why? Their trip to the NFC Championship game 2 years ago, was exactly that, 2 years ago. In Miami, Nick Saban just resigned. Why? 'Bama flashed security and the pressure in Miami was building after being two games under .500 during his first two seasons. Coaching and GM tenures in the NFL are starting to resemble the length of a Pamela Anderson marriage. Except of course, in Detroit. Matt Millen has been shown more patients in Detroit than any other league executive. In a league where winning is everything, Bill Ford has shown an amazing stomach for losing. Each year it seems, the Detroit Lions are amongst one of the league's 10 worst teams. This year, they have fallen to the second worst team in the game. Is Bill Ford fretting? Absolutely not. He knows, like all good bosses, you have to show patients with your personnel. You just know, that if you show enough patients, those employees will turn into the superstars you always knew they would be, and you will be vindicated. In a league with a short fuse, W.C. Ford has shown Matt Millen more patients than a Gray shows to a team of strung out managers in a college bookstore.

Loyalty - This trait is probably the most rare in business today. It is even more pronounced in the NFL. Today we see player jumping from team to team, just to make a few extra bucks. We watch GM's deal franchise players to "cut payroll". We watch player cut the throats of coaches, and coaches back stab each other, all to keep their own hides in tact. Well, that may be how it is most places, but Detroit is not most places. Bill Ford will have none of that low class, fan pandering that seems to go on in most franchises. He made a decision back in 2002 to hire Matt Millen, and by gosh, he is going to stand by his man. Through thick and thin, fan abandonment and media joke, Bill Ford has shown a loyalty to Matt Millen only rivaled by the Bookguy's dedication to a whiney, ass kissing, two-faced, lying, Director of Operations, who only has time to be the Director of Retail Selling that no one outside of Louisville will follow anyway. (Sorry for the Rant). Seriously, when Bill Ford told Matt Millen he had his back, he really meant it.

So, in my search for a new career, I have to find a boss like William Clay Ford. I need a guy who will stay in my corner, and show me understanding and patients. I want to join an organization that is lead by a man who in the face of all evidence, will stand by his decisions, and his right hand man. I need a boss like William Clay Ford. Then again, I am having this "been there before" kind of feeling. Of course !!! Now I know why. It seems that I just got finished working for a William Clay Ford type of personnel retard. Maybe one time around, following a blind man who justifies blatantly piss poor leadership, by claiming to be a "man of character" was enough for me. Fuck William Clay Ford. Does anyone know if Genghis Khan is hiring?

Almost like Christmas in July

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 03:52:00 +0000

Everyone has there favorite time of year. Some people live all year long looking forward to now, because they can't get enough of the holiday season. For others, they live for the summer. Others still say their favorite time of year is late November, surrounding turkey day. For me, the best time of year is late April. Why you may ask. Well the answer is, every year in late April my favorite event takes place. That event would be the NFL Draft. Thats right, the NFL Draft is my favorite event of the year.

Because this is my favorite event of the year, I think it is never too early to start to predict how April's draft will turn out. For me, releasing my first round mock in December, is kind of like those crazy people who start celebrating Christmas in July !!!

Now, some of you who follow football are going to complain that the definite draft order has yet to be set, so how can there be a mock draft. We still have Juniors who may declare as well. That is why this is an initial mock. There will be more. For this mock draft, the following rules were used.

1. The draft order is based on how it would look right now. This could changed based on week 17 results and playoff results. This draft is based on the order right now.

2. Juniors who have already declared are included in the list. In addition, so are Juniors who I think should or will declare eligibility. The Juniors will be noted with an asterisks.

So without further pomp, here is my initial first round mock draft for the 2007 NFL Draft.

1. Detroit Lions -Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
The lions really don't have a QB need, and would best be served to trade down to collect picks, but if they stay, choosing Quinn will at least give the fans in Detroit some hope for next season.

2. Oakland Raiders - Troy Smith, QB, Ohio State
The Raiders really need a QB, and would love to get Quinn. If the Lions listen to trade offers, expect the Raiders to be on the phone. If Quinn is gone, the Raiders will select the Heisman Trophy winner.

3. Tampa Bay Bucs - Ted Ginn*, WR, Ohio State
The Bucs have had trouble putting points on the board all season, and with Chris Simms to be returning as the starting QB, they will want to surround him with weapons. Ted Ginn is a Charles Woodson type athlete, and he will be a solid compliment to the aging Joey Galloway.

4. Houston Texans - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
The Texans have struggled to get it right since comming into the league, but this year, they will finally get smart and get QB David Carr (or whoever is there via free agency) some protection. Thomas is the best O-Lineman to come out since Orlando Pace.

5. Cleveland Browns - Adrian Peterson*, RB, Oklahoma
I had expected the Browns to be better this year after a good off season last year. Unfortunately the injury bug bit the Browns hard, and now they have the chance to add their franchise running back.

6. Arizona Cardinals - Levi Brown, OT, Penn State
The Cards have lots of talent, so their poor performance is somewhat perplexing. They still need help on the line, and I expect to see Brown put up big numbers at the combine and shoot up the board.

7. St. Louis Rams - LeMarr Woodley, LB, Michigan
The Rams were run all over all year by any team with even a decent run game. Woodley is a beast at backer. Alexander, Gore, and James are not going to be excited about this.

8. Washington Redskins - Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
The Skins have not gotten after the opposing QB very well this year. Moses can rush the QB. A match made in heaven? I think so.

9. Green Bay Packers - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
The Pack overachieved a bit this year, but it does not hide their numerous holes. The secondary needs a young playmaker, and Leon Hall will play well alongside former Wolverine, Charles Woodson.

10. San Francisco 49ers - Dewayne Jarrett*, WR, USC
The Niners made good progress this year, but Alex Smith still needs more targets. Two very good options should be on the board at this point, but expect the Niners to stay at home and choose Jarrett out of USC.

11. Carolina Panthers - JeMarcus Russell*, QB, LSU
QB Jake is starting to get up there in years, and backup Chris Weinke may actually be older. Unless the brass really believes in former Louisville standout Stefan Lefors, Russell will get the call.

12. Tennessee Titans - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
Now that Vincanity has swept Nashville, the Titans will look to get a pass rush going. Gaines Adams will fit the bill.

13. Minnesota Vikings - Paul Posluzny, LB, Penn St
Minnesota has a few directions they could go with this pick, but right now I expect the team to pair big Paul with last year's selection Chad Greenway to solidify the defense for years to come.

14. Miami Dolphins - Calvin Johnson*, WR, Georgia Tech
The Phins have not progressed as far as everyone thought they would have, but they seem confident that Daunte will be fine to take the helm next year. Giving him a target like Johnson makes the Dolphins dangerous.

15. Buffalo Bills - Michael Griffin, S, Texas
Like Michael Huff before him, Griffin is a playmaker from the Texas secondary. Buffalo could use a guy like him to take some pressure off of Nate Clements.

16. Pittsburgh Steelers - Antoine Cason*, CB, Arizona
Pittsburgh's secondary was exposed this year, and getting a primetime corner has to be a priority. Cason is an athletic, tough corner and will fit well in the Steel City.

17. Kansas City Chiefs - Jeff Samardzija, WR, Notre Dame
This team is in need of a prime time player at wide out badly. Dante Hall and Eddie Kennison are good, but not great. Samardzija is as athletic as any of the recievers in the draft, and will give Green a real target for his swan song.

18. Atlanta Falcons - Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss
When the Falcons had a healthy Jon Abraham rushing off the edge, the team look very good. He will be back next year, healthy, and with Willis joining the LB corps, the defense can be scary, good.

19. Jacksonville Jaguars - Victor Abimiri, DE, Notre Dame
The Jags could go OL here, but I think they will aim to rebuild the once mighty defensive front. Abimiri will help them pressure opposing passers, and could be a difference maker for the Jags.

20. Cincinnati Bengals - HB Blades, LB, Pitt
The Bengals, could go D-Line here, but it seems that David Pollack's career may be over. If this is true, a spark plug like Blades will give this defense some attitude. Come to think of it, maybe attitude is not what the Bengals need.

21. New York Jets - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
The Jets could plug a few holes here, and if a top notch pass rusher falls to them, they may pull the trigger. Leon Washington did an admirable job this year, but he is not the long term answer. Lynch is the second best back on the board, and will do very well with Gang Green.

22. New York Giants - Tim Crowder, DE, Texas
This offseason, the Giants could be saying goodbye to Barber, Toomer, and Strahan. No slight to Toomer or Tiki, but replacing Iron Mike will have to be the first task at hand.

23. Denver Broncos - Alan Branch*, DT, Michigan
Alan Branch is really intriguing prospect. First off, he could stay a Wolverine afor another year. The other think is he has top first round talent. Seriously, he could go much higher, but I think DT's will slip this year, and the Broncos will benefit from a steal this late in Round 1.

24. New England Patriots (from Seattle) - LaRon Landry, S, LSU
With two first round pick, the Pats will begin by adressing their thin secondary. Landry is a stud and could easily go higher. If he falls this far, watch Brilliant Bill snap him up.

25. Dallas Cowboys - Justin Blalock, OL, Texas
Dallas lost Larry Allen last year. Now they need someone to protect the new franchise in Tony Romo. Blalock can play multiple spots on the line, and will look good with his star.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
Michael Lewis, it appears, has forgotten how to play football. His fall from pro bowl status to backup is scary. Add the SEC champion's best playmaker to replace him and Phily will be in good shape.

27. New England Patriots - Robert Meachem*, WR, Tennessee
It seems that even Tom Brady need options to throw to to win games. Enter Meachem. He was the Vols leading receiver, and will be a big, strong, fast option for Brady.

28. Indianapolis Colts - Frank Okam*, DT, Texas
The Colts would be good... if they played defense. Booger is snot the answer, and Corey Simon may come back, but no one knows for sure. Okam will help slow down the opposing rush attack.

29. New Orleans Saints - Darrelle Revis*, CB, Pitt
What an incredible turn around for the Saints. Adding a coverage demon like Revis will ensure that next season the Saints will be even better.

30. Baltimore Ravens - Michael Bush*, RB, Louisville
This is a stretch pick because it is very likely Bush will return to the 'Ville and make a Heisman run next year. Should he come out though, the Ravens could use a guy like him to spell Jamal Lewis.

31. Chicago Bears - Brian Brohm*, QB, Louisville
Like Bush, Brohm could very well wind up back in school. If he does in fact come out, the Bears will select him to replace the floundering Rex Grossman. That's right. It is goodbye Rexy. Brohm will give the Bears a super offense to compliment their superbowl defense.

32. San Diego Chargers - Aaron Sears, OL, Tennessee
After winning the superbowl, the chargers could find themselves with more holes then they currently have as others around the league cherry pick their talent. But assuming things are as they are now, the Bolts could look Wide Out, but will instead choose to strengthen the O-Line.

A site after my own heart

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:21:00 +0000

As many of you, my loyal readers, know, I am a stickler about customer service. I really do not know where this pet peeve developed from, but seriously, I absolutely loath organizations that do not treat the customer correctly. I always figure, if I am going to spend my hard earned money somewhere, the business better treat me well. On the flip side of the same coin, if a group provides excellent customer service, I will usually go out of my way to patronize their business. Sometimes, even going as far a spending more money for the same product, but superior, reliable customer service.

One of my new customer service gripes is having to talk to machines. Let me give you an example. A few months back, I recieved an advertisement in the mail to switch my cable service to Verizon. This, in addition to their FIOS high speed internet seemed to be a good deal, so I called the number on the ad. I was connected directly with a salesperson, who proceeded to sell me on making the switch. Fast forward to last week, and I am having problems with my new FIOS internet going dead on me at random times. I call the service number, and I am put into a phone system where I have to enter various pieces of information into a computer. The system even went as far as trying to have the computer diagnose my problem (olf course it failed). Needles to say, it was quite frustrating. I hate speaking to machines. I would have been much happier to speak with a customer service representative.

Now please do not read this as an indictment of Verizon and their customer service. Instead, I am complaining about companies trying to save money by sacrificing on customer service, which as we all know, is partially the personal touch. Finally, there is a website who, like me, can think of many ways they would rather spend their time than speaking with a machine. What they did was compile a database of corporations around our nation, and ways of shortcutting their phone systems to speak directly with a person. Seriously, what a wonderful idea. Now, next time I need to speak with Verizon, or anyone else for that matter, I just look them up on this web site and I get to speak with a person. How nice.

So without further hype, I introduce to you all, the newest Friend of the Abstract, GetHuman. If you are interested in checking out GetHuman (and I know you are), simply click on the link GetHuman under the Friends of the Abstract section of the blog. For those of your reading this via feed reader or email, just click on one of the GetHuman links in this post.

So, here are the instructions:
1. Go to GetHuman
2. Enjoy
3. Come back here and let everyone know of your experience

Happy New Year to All... (and Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Good Kwanza to some)

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 21:16:00 +0000

The following Public Service Announcements have been brought to you by the number "22" (as in the number of days since my last post) and the word "sorry" (as in what I am for not having posted in aforementioned number of days).

I want to wish all of my loyal (dwindling but loyal) readership a happy holiday season. Now that the jolly fat guy has come and gone, I hope you have been left with some new gifts that will bring you some enjoyment (I know I did !!!).

Furthermore, I implore you all to go out this weekend and have a highly imbibed festive time, but please be safe. For, should you fail to follow my most recent request, you will undoubtedly miss the "Best and Worst of 2006" post which will be coming soon.

Speaking of "Best and Worst of 2006", please nominate the someone (or something) in the following categories:

Best Movie of the Year
Worst Movie of the Year
Best Song of the Year
Worst Song of the Year (A.K.A. "Please turn this fuckin' song off before I shoot myself)
Best Gift I received this Year
Worst Gift I received this Year (A.K.A "The Gravy Boat Gift" in honor of a friend)
Best Surprise of the Year
Worst Surprise of the Year
Person of the Year (famous or not, doesn't matter)
Dunce of the Year (infamous or not, doesn't matter)

Winners of the prestigious "Raised Thumb" awards (Best of's) and the "Raised Middle Finger" awards (Worst of's) will be announced in the "Best and Worst of 2006" upcoming post.

Until then, Happy New Year to all !!!!

How could so many names get it so wrong?

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 04:26:00 +0000

Ok, so now that the holiday season is smack upon us, we are going to be inundated with Santa, gifts, hallmark, and more. We get to turn on our favorite radio stations and we get to hear nothing but Deck the Halls and Jingle Bells. As Charlie Brown would say, Arrrghhh.

Now I am not trying to steal Ebeneezer's day job (although I could use one right now), but I can only handle so much Christmas spirit. It was only recently that I understood what could drive two fat guys dressed liked candy canes to get into a belly bumping match over "Christmas spirit" in the old Shadowood lobby. Seriously, enough is enough. It seems now-a-days, the turkey is not even stuffed and I am forced to watch yet another musician put out their rendition of the old holiday classics for all of us to suffer to (although this year did give me pause when the artist was Bette "only Barbara Streisand is more Jewish than me" Midler).

So what is a nice Jewish boy like me to do to escape all of these holiday wonderments? The movies!!! Thank god for motion pictures. I can get away by going to the theater and catching some pretty good shows, since the holiday season is a great time for good movies to be released. Starting on the Wednesday leading up to Thanksgiving and running all the way until the final "fa la la" Hollywood will be there to keep a simple boy like me entertained. Sure, I do get subjected to posters promoting Tim Allen's next Santa Claus flick, but I can certainly ignore them on my way to seeing some truly great pictures.

Now, each year I look forward to escaping the "holiday cheer" by heading into a cinema and losing myself in great film. So as I know you can all imagine, I was very pumped when I found out that kicking things off for us during this holiday season was Bobby. I was hoping that Emilio Estevez's tribute to Robert F. Kennedy was going to be something we could compare with Oliver Stone's tribute to the Senator's big brother in his film, JFK.

Then after taking one look down the cast list of this film, I knew I was going to be thrilled. Seriously, my new favorite trivia question is, "Name three Hollywood Icons not in this film." This film was written and directed by Emilio Estevez, who may be best know for being Charlie Sheen's eldest son, but has numerous acting credits including; The Breakfast Club, Young Guns, Men at Work (which he also wrote and Directed), and the whole Mighty Ducks series. Then the casting group started picking directly from Hollywood's current and former "A" list. They hired Emmy winner, Harry Belafonte; teen idol, Nick Cannon; Oscar nominee Laurence Fishburne (Whats Love Got to Do With It, The Matrix Trilogy, Boyz n the Hood); Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, Austin Powers); 2-time Emmy winner and 4-time Emmy nominee, Oscar winner and 4-time Oscar nominee, Sir Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs, Meet Joe Black); 1-time Oscar winner, 4-time Emmy winner and 8-time Emmy nominee Helen Hunt (As good as it Gets, Mad About You); teen idol Joshua Jackson (The Skulls, Dawson's Creek); teen idol Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect, Punk'd, That 70's Show); teen idol Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls, The Parent Trap); Oscar nominee, William H. Macy (Fargo, Seabiscuit); 2-time Golden Globe nominee, and 1-time Emmy nominee, Demi Moore (Ghost, A Few Good Men); Emmy nominee, Freddy Rodriguez (Six Feet Under); Emmy winner, Golden Globe winner, and 2-time SAG winner, Charlie Sheen (The West Wing, The American President); teen idol Christian Slater (Pump up the Volume, Interview with a Vampire); Emmy award winner, Golden Globe winner, Oscar nominee, Sharon Stone (Casino, Basic Instinct); and SAG winner, Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Deep Impact).

A quick review for those of you who may have gotten lost. This film's cast boasts the following achievements: 28 Emmy Award nominations, 9 Emmy Awards, 8 Oscar nominations, 3 Oscar Awards, countless Golden Globe, SAG, and other award nominations, and winners, 6 next generation superstars, 2 Stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and of course, 1 real, live, Knight of the Queen of England. My guess is you would be hard pressed to find a more heralded cast in another film.

So, with this much fire power, you would think we were going to be seeing the biggest blockbuster of the season. Well, boy was I in for a surprise. This movie, which should have been something special, was one big pile of poo. Thats right folks, this movie stunk. Why you ask? Well let me tell you. First off, the movie has very little to do with Bobby Kennedy. Instead, we get to follow a whole bunch of characters throughout the day and location of Senator Kennedy's murder. Now, don't get me wrong. That alone did not make the movie the pile of poo it is. Nope, there was more. Had the audience been given a chance to make a connection with any of the characters the movie followed, it may have been a good movie, but in the 2 hour time frame, Emilio tried to shove too many stories into not enough time. What I mean is had we been able to bond with the war dodging newlyweds, or the baseball loving busboy, or the maritally challenged hotel manager and his cosmetologist wife, or the LSD using campaign volunteers, or the drunkard fading star and her doormat of a husband... we may have cared more about what transpires to them all at the end. We may have felt what they felt when they witnessed Senator Kennedy get shot. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Instead, we got infinitesimally small glimpses into their lives, and rather than bond with them, we are left wondering, "What the fuck was the point of Helen Hunt and Charlie Sheen anyhow?"

Because we never really meet Bobby Kennedy in the film (Estevez did not cast anyone as Bobby, but instead used old footage and speeches of Kennedy to represent his existence, which could have been powerful, but instead was disjointed) we never really feel lose when he is killed. We never hear about why he was killed. We never meet Sirhan Sirhan in the movie (in fact his name was never even mentioned) so we never get any answers or theories into why Senator Kennedy was assassinated. Because we never really get to know any of the characters, we never feel for them or with them either.

Unfortunately, what could have been an awesomely powerful movie with truly an all-star cast, instead becomes an also ran in this years holiday season. And instead of leaving the theater energized, and excited for the movie season to come, I left wondering "So how bout that Tim Allen flick?"

If you've seen the movie Bobby, go ahead, sound off. I can't wait to hear your Abstract.

A New Friend

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 22:50:00 +0000

Now that the turkey is finally finished, many of us are trying to figure out what to get those special someones (and sometimes not so special, but if I am the only one no to buy my friggin boss a gift i will look bad) their Chanukah, Christmas, and Kwanza gifts. Now, because I love each and every one of you my loyal readers, I am going to let you in on one of the web hidden gems, which also happens to be one of the best places to buy gifts for people. These gifts are both useful and ornate, so fellas, your better halves will likely be very impressed.

With no further introduction my I introduce the first corporate Friend of the Abstract, Aura Oil. Aura Oil distributes top of the line oil and fragrance lamps, and with their customer service penchant (and to be a Friend of the Abstrat, I have to love your service) make them one of the web's best buys. They have lamps of all sizes, and fragrances of all smells, so what evr you want one for it will work. They have big lamps that are beautiful and sit nicely on coffee tables in the livingroom. They even have tiny lamps that work well in the bathroom (trust me, my better half says those have saved her life). Whatever colors you are into they have. Whateve styles you dig, they've got. Whatever smells you like, they can send. Their prices are the best anywhere (net or b & m store) and as I mentioned earlier their service is second to none.

So, for your holiday gift ideas, get that person something different this year, and check out Aura Oil. I know the owner personally, so tell him Bigg E sent you. Now that my good deed for the day is done, I am out. If you buy with them let everyone know how your expierence was by commenting on this abstract.

PS. I will not take bribes to get your company mentioned on my blog. Seriously. You need to simply bring an awesome product, great prices, and the best service, otherwise, no props. Also, please note that comapnies with very bad service, I am going to bring down the heat as I begin my "Lets all Boycott" series coming soon.

A look Inside

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 05:57:00 +0000

Todays post is going to be a different kind of post for me. If you choose to read on, please, be forewarned that the entry you will read is almost entirely without humor. In fact, it is a deeply personal introspection, rarely shown to people outside my innermost circle. It is both philosophical and practical in nature, and it is more feeling than almost any piece you will ever read from me. For those not ready to read, what may be read as almost an internal monologue, I understand completely, and I encourage you to skip past this one article. For those who choose to read, I implore you to keep your minds open, and understand, I am by no means trying to insult anyone, nor am I trying to preach to anyone. Please take it more as an update to my personal, internal philosophy on myself, and how I fit into this crazy world.

Before I get to the meat of this article, I want to provide everyone with a little background on how this posting came about. As many of you may already know, I fancy myself a fledgling martial artist. As part of my school's test for Shodan (1st degree Black Belt), we are asked to write an essay, reflecting upon what we have learned during our training thus far. What you are going to read is my essay. Again, this is pretty deep stuff, and touches on many areas including religion, divorce, Eastern philosophy, and more. For those of you who think this stuff to be voodoo, hooey, or simple BS, please stop reading. For those who are ready for a look inside, enjoy the view.

As I sit here, a few weeks out from my black belt test, I find myself reflecting on how much I have learned, and from this, how much my life has changed as a result of my training at the Quest Center the past few years.

Strangely, thoughts of this remind me of an old Jewish song entitled Dayenu (Die-A-New). This song is sung each year during the Jewish holiday of Passover. The song is worded to remind us to be thankful for what we have, and draws its inspiration from the story of the Jewish Peoples exodus from Egypt. The lyrics of the first paragraph translate to say “If He (god) had only brought us (the Jewish people) out of Egypt, it would have been enough.” The second paragraph translates to mean “If He had only given us the Torah, it would have been enough.” The song continues paragraph to paragraph, letting us know that each thing done for us “would have been enough.”

The reason my training reminds me of this old Hebrew song, is because of the multiple layers that the training has happened on. When I first came to Quest, my life was by all accounts (specifically mine) very good. I was in a good career, well entrenched in the “Rat Race” many of us are tied up in. I had a good home life, living with my best friend, while planning a wedding to my fiancé. I was stashing away money, and accumulating creature comforts at a very acceptable pace, putting myself on the “path to success” that I had grown up want to be on. When I first came to Quest, I was hoping that the instructors could help motivate me to get my rear quarters in motion, and maybe lose a few pounds. I was hoping they could teach me a thing or two about being able to better defend myself should I find myself in a physical altercation. And had the Russo’s, the Giancarlo’s and Mr. Hamblien been able to do that for me, it would have been enough.

Just like other who had come before me, and some that have come since, I began to realize that the instructors were teaching me more than exercise and self-defense. Soon I began to learn how the elements we were studying could be applied to life outside the dojo. I began to see how an understanding of the elements could give me an advantage in my career. I began to see how the elements applied to human behavior, and how appropriate manipulation of the elements could help me professionally. Had this been the only professional lesson I learned from the Quest staff, this too would have been enough.

At the time, I didn’t know it, but what I was learning was barely scratching the surface of what the Quest Instructors were teaching. The more I trained at Quest, the closer I became with the instructors, and the more time I began spending with them socially. As a result, my learning continued outside the dojo environment. I heard a metaphor that explained my training better than any I had heard before or since. I was told to imagine that I was a builder. During my Q-belt training, I was learning about tools that were available to me, and how to use each tool. From the metaphor perspective, I was learning that I had a hammer available to me, and how to use a hammer. I was learning I had a screwdriver available to me, and how to use the screwdriver. I was then told that my black belt test was simply to test me on my knowledge and use of the tools now in my tool belt. Black belt simply meant that my tool belt was full. The black belt training that I would be doing was akin to teaching me how to use my tools to build something. It was my taking of this metaphor and extending it to my life outside of To Shin Do, that made the lesson truly valuable. Now if this had been the only life lesson that I learned from my friends at the dojo, this would have been enough.

The true test of any learning, is how can you apply what you learned, in a real life, real pressure environment. As is the case with this art, I have heard other students talk about being able to utilize their training when the situation has called for it. I have heard stories of students applying oak trees to the arms of road rage attackers. I have hear students tell of “getting earthy” against an imminent physical confrontation that never materialized as a result of their energy. I have heard tales of students “watering” away from falling A/C ducts in their office building thanks to their training. Fortunately, I have, since beginning my training, been able to avoid all physical confrontations, and thus, have never had to test my skills in a real life, real pressure environment. Or so I thought.

For anyone who knows me, they know that 2006 has been one of the toughest years, if not the toughest year, of my life thus far. Earlier in the year I had to go through what many have called “the most stressful experience a person can experience”. I had to go through a divorce. Then only a little more than a month ago, I found out I no longer was wanted at the company I helped build. I was fired. A tough year it had been indeed. I spent more time over the past twelve months wondering where my life was going than I had during the previous 7 years combined. Still, it wasn’t until sitting at a Quest Black Belt Dinner that things came into perspective for me. I was sitting next to a fellow student and friend, Scott Ream while we were all celebrating the success of the newest black belts. Scott and I began talking, and he asked me for some advice. Scott told me of a personal situation he was dealing with and he concluded by saying, “I wanted your advice on how best to handle this. I know you have had a simply awful year, but unless you looked carefully, it would be very hard to tell because you are handling everything so well.”

The impact of what Scott had said to me did not hit me until the next night at Gashuku. During the fire ceremony, I came to the realization, that the events of this year were my real life, real pressure test of my skills. In fact, it doesn’t get much more real life, or real pressure, than what I had been going through. I also realized, that I owed an awful lot of credit to the teaching of Mark, Helen, John, Laura, and David for helping me, as Scott said, “handle everything so well.” The life lessons learned at Quest had been the foundation on which I relied on during these trying times. The life “tools” that I have been learning about and how to best utilize, have allowed me to turn situations that would have broken many of the “untrained” people I know, into genuine opportunities. My divorce hurt me badly. I still very much loved my wife while we were separating, and I wondered how I would be able to move on without her support. Thanks in large part to my training however, I soon came to realize that by keeping her a close friend, I could maintain most of her support, and from this I was able to go out an find another fulfilling relationship that will be able to help me continue to grow on my path. Being fired hurt me in many ways, not least of which was by delivering a strong blow to my financial base. Again, thanks to my training, I saw this too as an opportunity, and I am now in the process of securing a new position, at a new company, which I expect to provide me with both professional and fiscal opportunities that would not have been found in my former employ.

Sitting around the fire that night, I realized that my real world, real pressure test had in fact come, and despite my complaints and despite my sorrows, I had been doing an admirable job at fighting these dragons thus far. I realized that as important as the physical skills I had acquired over the last few years had become, it was the life skills that were invaluable. It was that night around the fire, looking at my friend Christina Quenneville, bask (as much as she ever can allow herself to) in her achievement, I realized that my “Black Belt Test” had in fact already begun. In fact, one could make the argument that the “test” had started the moment David Hamblien wrapped that white belt around my waist. In fact, based on the old Taoist philosophy that everything we have ever done has brought us to right here, right now, it could be argued that from the moment we are brought into this world, our Q-Belt learning begins. And now, as I stand on the precipice of commencement, I am ready to learn about the world from a black belt perspective, and for this I say, “Dayenu”.

A Noteworthy Holiday (Public Service Announcement 2)

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:09:00 +0000

Allow me just a moment to wish my loyal readers a wonderful Turkey Day. Remember, we have lots to be thankful for this year. Even me, Bigg E, will be giving thanks tomorrow. It seems, that yesterday, we set a new record on this blog for readership, as we crested the 25 individual reader mark for the first time!!! Nice everybody. I am glad you are all enjoying my mindless drivel enough to come back for more, and some of you apparently have even chosen to subject some of friends to my nonsensical diatribes. And this Thanksgiving I give to you all thanks (and to 7-11, who it seems, wants to employ me to grow their little organization, who'da thunk it?).

HAPPY TURKEY DAY ALL !!!!

Excuse me, Mr. Gibson, is this seat taken?

noreply@blogger.com (EZ) — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 05:15:00 +0000

Can you hear it? That sound. It is the sound of the Blacklist Train getting ready to make a one way trip from Hollywood to Hell, and it is about to leave the station.

You see, this is not the train's maiden voyage. Far from it. It seems that the old Blacklist Train makes this one way trip every once in a while, taking former Hollywood "A" and "B" listers from their previous plush celebrity status, and leaving them in a desolate Hell of Hollywood purgatory, inhabited only by other fallen stars, men in pointy white hats, and the soul of Marge Schott.

Apparently the Blacklist Train is back at the station, and it is boarding passengers now. A few weeks back, the once mighty (albeit strange) Mel Gibson decided he was going to drop back a few. Now, having a few drinks is not a big deal. In fact, not having any drinks seems to make more news in Hollywood than does the former. But what we did not know is that when Mel has a few he turns into Australia's largest anti-Semite. So a cop pulls over Braveheart for driving under the influence, and Mel proceeds to go on an anti-Jew tirade that would make Borat blush. Mel, please pick up your Boarding Pass at the door.

Hold on Mr Conductor, please don't leave the station just yet. It seems that Michael Richards doe not want Mel to make this journey all alone. A few nights back, our beloved Kramer, doing his routine in a comedy club, ran into a few hecklers. Now, I have been to comedy clubs before, and I have been fortunate enough to see someone try to heckle the talent. Nothing is funnier to me than watching a comedian, rip apart a heckler. I get some of my best insults from watching that type of exchange. So, what I would have expected to hear is that Richard's carved up those hecklers with the skill of Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer in "A Knights Tale." Instead, Richards decided to book the seat next to Mighty Mel and unleashed a tirade of racist comments that make the Klan go searching for membership applications.

So, lets recap, shall we? First, Riggs fires off comments that all but secure him a "boo" spot in Adam Sandler's next version of the Chanukah Song, then our old favorite Cosmo reveals that he really spells his last name, KKKramer.
Well, I hope that both of you guys enjoy your trip to Hollywood purgatory. With the in ability to keep loose lips from flapping, these two guys will be lucky to get casted in the straight to video "hits" like Gigli 2, or Friday the 13th part 941. Good luck gents, and don't forget to say hi to Walt Disney for us.