Kinzi, with love.

SLOW IT DOWN, KINZI

2013-06-26T21:55:00.000-05:00

My mind is constant jumbled mess. Most of the time, I just want to SCREAM! Not because I'm sad about anything, or mad about anything. Because I can't get my speedy mind to slow down. Go, go, go, go! I want to do this, I need to do that, I'd love to do that someday, I hope for this, I'm too tired, I'm not tired at all, I'm kind of hungry, never mind, what should I do tomorrow? I feel like I'm dreaming most of the time. That's not normal, is it? I try finding peace and rest in the comfort that I can "cast my anxieties and fears unto the Lord." He'll slow my mind...won't he? Whatever. I'm too wound-up to write this post, anyway. LAKJSHFDOAIWUEGRABO0VINHWQMJA;SKDJFHOBAIUYWOENIMVA;SLKDJF;AOIUWBPEHIASGDLFKJAS;DVNHLAISGOVLJKAS;FSLKDJFNV;SLHFSVALDF

Goals

2012-04-19T18:14:00.000-05:00

I have a ton of goals I want to set for myself and since I can't seem to find a pen or some paper, I'm going to post them on my blog. Enjoy!

1. Less secular music. Garbage in, garbage out!
2. Less tv. Or in my case, less time on Hulu and Netflix.
3. Less time on facebook and turn off my computer at least an hour before bed!
4. Meditate.
5. Walk/run at least 10 miles a week. That might not seem like a lot to some people but for me, it's a start!
6. ABSOLUTELY NO MAKE-UP for 2 days of the week. Besides, it's what's on the INSIDE that matters!
7. Less complaining! Take a look around and focus on the good things! I only have one life to live and I don't want to spend it complaining about my situations.
8. Be more involved with LIFE! I have too much to offer to the world to feel self-conscious.
9. Follow a bible reading schedule.
10. Get back into the things that made me happy when I was little girl...like archery, studying animals, and painting!

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure more will come to me very soon.

I hope everyone is having a beautiful day!

Next chapter.

2011-12-30T21:30:00.000-06:00

Wow. It has been a long time since I've blogged. Let me catch you up...

It's been a crazy semester! After my not-so-boring summer in Nevada, I came back and signed up for more classes at William Woods. Let's just say I pulled out with 3.25 GPA and I'm pretty darn proud of it! This was, however, my last semester at WWU because I am deferring for a semester while I get situated back in Nevada! Missouri has been great, I just feel like I need to get out on my own for a bit.
What else is new? I sold Pat (my truck) and bought Cootsie...a Kia Sportage and I love her. She's so precious, I can't wait to take her out to Nevada.
I also have a few new hobbies: knife-throwing and playing on my ukulele! I'm pretty good at knife-throwing (my uncle calls me Annie Oakley) and I kinda suck at the ukulele...for now. Practice makes perfect, right?

So let's talk about Nevada. What am I thinking, right? I'm quitting school and moving to Vegas. Let me say that again...I'm quitting school...and moving to Vegas. Am I on drugs? Maybe. A few months ago, I just felt like I needed a change of scenery. I'm also 20 and I've never lived away from my parents. Nevada wasn't my first option, either (I was looking at schools in Denver, West Palm Beach, and Texas). Nevada just kind of fell into place so I'm taking that as a sign from God that I should be there for a while. However, my heart is broken right now because I have to leave my family. I'm so blessed to have a family that loves me and supports me. I love them all so much.

So I'm moving out there on January 3rd. It'll be the start of new chapter, and new year. I don't have "resolutions" but I definitely have some goals for my time in Nevada...
1. Join a freakin' gym! It's so cliche for my first goal to be to lose weight, but who cares...
2. Missions. Missions. Missions. WHY am I calling myself a Christian if I'm not living out my faith? C'mon Kinzi, you can do better.
3. $$$
4. Meet new people. And love them.
5. Have fun! I'm 20...I'm supposed to be having fun, right?

So here's to [another] new chapter in my life. I'm ready! I think...

Summer 2011♥

2011-07-26T16:52:00.008-05:00

2011-07-12T12:26:00.000-05:00

Being beautiful is more than how many boys you can get to look at you or how much makeup you can wear. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the heart that you have and what makes you special. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. It’s about knowing that you are a creation of God, created in His image. It’s about shining for Him, no matter what else is going on around you. It’s about going against the flow and living out what you honestly think. And that is a beautiful thing.

2011-06-27T13:27:00.002-05:00

2011-06-08T02:24:00.002-05:00

Okay. So right now, I want to talk (or write) about a topic that is kind of touchy for me. It's not something I liked to talk about a whole lot because, to be honest, I was scared that people would see me as different. Different might not be the right word...I like being different. So let me rephrase that and say that I was scared that people would see me as a prude.
Yep, prude.

I'm 20 years old, and I've never been kissed.

I was never really into the dating scene. I never actually started to show an interest in anyone until at least my junior year in high school. Even then, I kept my interests under wraps because the dating scene scared me. Not the kind of scared where I wanted to hide under my bed, but scared/nervous...like the feeling I get before I have to make a speech or something. Ick. So, in high school, it felt like everyone around me was "with" someone and "hooking up" with someone. And when someone would ask me "who are you intersted in?" or "have you hooked up with anyone?" I said no, but felt embarrassed that they would see me as prude. So one night, while playing a game or truth or dare, someone asked me who my first kiss was. Unknown to them, I never had my first kiss...so I lied. I told everyone that I hooked up with some boy a few years ago and they believed it. Since I'm being honest, I'll be honest and say it felt good when people believed it and thought I had experience in that area. But, since I'm being honest, I'll be honest and say I regretted that dumb lie ever since.
*sigh* Lets move on to my senior year in high school and I still felt the pressure of being a prude. I kept telling myself, "Okay Kinzi, this is your year. You're gonna get your first kiss. You won't be a prude anymore!" So when this boy started to show an interest in me, I caved. Even though I knew in my gut that God was telling me that it wasn't right to date then, I started dating. It was a big deal when I starting holding his hand, sitting with him on the couch, going on silly little dates with him...but I wasn't kissing him, although I could tell he wanted to. He would ask for a kiss in subtle ways, but I ignored them. So when we "broke up" not even three months later, I was back to square one.
It was after that that people started with the prude jokes. I'm not going to lie, they hurt and I may have even cried after a few of them. The jokes and the pressure of being a prude broke me...I became extremely self-conscious.
Something that is really sad to me is that in today's society, being a virgin has become so incredibly taboo. You rarely hear about people waiting until they're married...some people even see losing their virginity as a goal for the year or whatever. So if people are so ridiculed for being a virgin, think about someone my ago who has yet to be kissed.
It wasn't even until a few months ago that I started to pride myself on being a prude. I started to seek satisfaction and love from where it matters the most...in the arms of God. So, I'm proud of myself for "keeping my pants zipped" and I'm proud that hooking up isn't my thing. And as of right now, boyfriends and dating aren't on my agenda. But God has a plan for me. And I believe that because I have remained pure, God will reward me with the perfect man. The man that I have always dreamed of marrying.

God is writing my love story ♥

2011-05-30T03:13:00.000-05:00

These are a few of my favorite things ♥

Color: Green.
Food: Pasta.
Candy: Ferrero Rocher & WarHeads.
Season: Fall.
Movie: Wild America & The Human Experience.
Artist: Norah Jones or Whitley.
Place(s): The top of Mt. Charleston, Screamin' Johnnie's, & Hume Lake.
Book: [Besides the Bible] Fearless by Max Lucado & Bohemian Manifesto.
Activity: Kayaking, drawing, photography.

2011-05-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
— Mother Teresa ♥

2011-01-15T22:15:00.000-06:00

So far, this year has been amazing! I kicked off the new year by driving down to Springfield to see my old friends! I love being closer to them. While in Springfield, I picked up Tracy from the airport and we drove back to Columbia! We had a good time. I took her up to Hannibal so she could see my hometown (I just wish it wasn't so cold) and she also went to WWU's orientation with Kiki and I.
Speaking of William Woods, classes started last Thursday! To be honest, I wasn't super excited about it. Not that I was bummed about it, either, it was just "whatever." If I want to survive this semester with good grades, I figured I should start by changing my attitude towards my school. I'm just here to get my basics out of the way, then I'm off to a bigger, more film-centered University. Maybe Pepperdine? Until then, it's William Woods that I'll stay!

Confession time. I have totally been slacking on my bible reading. No excuses, Kinzi! I want to go on a Facebook fast...I spend way too much time on Facebook and not enough time with Jesus. However, I find myself praying all the time. Just talking with Jesus, telling him about my day, asking for help and praying for other people. While I was waiting for Kiki's class to get done, I found an empty classroom so I helped myself to a desk and prayed in the dark. I'm sure it looked weird if anyone saw me, but oh well. Praying is my escape.

So excited for what's to come this year. I'm going to Palm Beach for spring break to see Faith! I can't believe I'm just now going to see her in Florida. And for the summer? I'm going to Vegas! Tracy and Tucker are postponing their move to Virginia, so I have some of the summer with them! I'm also so excited to see my family, I miss them so much!

That's it for now. It's time for me to snuggle up with my Zoe bug and watch some Lost. Oh Sawyer, you are one fine piece of meat ;)
Goodnight!

2011-01-01T01:31:00.003-06:00

The Perfect Lyric ♥

Till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand ♥
I get goosebumps everytime I listen to it!

Oh, and happy new year! As soon as it hit midnight, I prayed with my Mom and Dad. I prayed mainly for protection of my family, friends and our country. I prayed for opportunities and I prayed that my family won't have to struggle financially anymore. I feel good about 2011!

I won't list all of my resolutions, but I would like to share a few:
1. (Obviously) Get fit, be more active, maybe shed a few pounds. Who doesn't want that?
2. Learn sign language. My mom is a deaf interpreter and I would really love for her to teach me so I could eventually use it at church or something. ASL might also come in handy when I go on missions trips and stuff.
3. Not worry so much! It's giving me worry wrinkles.
4. Sounds far-fetched, but I would really love to write a book and get it published.
5. Not watch R-rated movies.

Anywho, that's all I'm gonna list for now. I hope 2010 was as amazing for you as it was for me. I am blessed and that's all there is to say! Lovelovelove.

2010-12-11T19:39:00.000-06:00

So far my time in Missouri has given me a chance to reflect and change things in my life.
First and foremost, it made me appreciate my time in Nevada. I complained so much about Las Vegas and counted down the days until I moved, but now I can't wait to go back! It taught me not to take anything for granted. Moving here also made me appreciate my friends more. Not that I don't appreciate them, I just never realized how much of my life I invested in them until they were gone. I have the best friends anyone could ask for - they are nothing but supportive, trustworthy, and all-around great people. I am so blessed and I cannot wait until I get to see them again!
Living here strengthened the bond between me and my mom. We're at a point right now where I realize she's not just my mom, she's my best friend. She listens to me when I'm sad, laughs with me when I laugh, and her loving spirit helps me to keep going. I love her more than words can express!
Being here also encouraged me to rekindle my relationship with God. When I was at my lowest point and realized I had no friends and no one to turn to, I turned to God. It's so easy to live for God when everything is going right in your life. But when the storm comes, that's when you really need to cling to Him. Since then, he has been pouring out his blessings upon me and my family and has brought me so much joy!
It's so amazing what can happen in your life when you change your perspective. Instead of complaining about Missouri, I thank God for Missouri. I am here for a purpose.

So, I've been on the search for a new "image." It's almost the end of 2010, so in honor of the new year, I figure it would appropriate to have a new look. I'm thinking darker hair with turquoise streaks? Sounds weird, but I found a picture that I absolutely loved:

I know, its different and probably only looks cool because it's an awesome picture, but I love trying new things. I've also been debating on whether I should get my nose re-pierced, or even a tattoo? I would never get something too extravagant, but I've been considering a tattoo for a long time, now. I just want to make sure I do plenty of biblical research before I permanently mark my body.

Well, that's all for now! I'll leave with this amazing quote Joel Osteen:
"When you are tempted to get discouraged, remind yourself that according to God's word, your future is getting brighter; you are on your way to a new level of glory. You may think you've got a long way to go, but you need to look back at how far you've already come. You may not be everything you wanted to be but atleast you can thank God that you're not what you used to be."

Have a beautiful day! Lovelovelove.

2010-12-07T01:09:00.000-06:00

So I've been kind of bummed lately that I won't be able to make it to Vegas for New Years. I guess you could say I had to choose my priorities. But what makes up for it, is I get to see Tracy on January 7th! I'm so excited - She'll only be here for like 4 days, but I don't care. Just as long as I get to see her! I'm stoked to take her around CoMo and Hannibal. Also, I'll be able to hang out with my other best friend, Alex on the 18th! If only I could fly out to Palm Beach and see Faith.

I have to take my ACT's on Saturday so this week is study, study, study. I was kind of lazy in high school and didn't think I needed to take my ACT's, but I was wrong. I just hope WWU can get my scores in time for me to be registered for classes next semester. I have a hunger for learning!

I've recently become business partners with my dad. We're creating affiliate websites for different products on the internet, so I'm really excited to get that up and running. I have been writing article after article for our first website about dog training courses. I have to write about 5 more by the end of the week on top of studying, but that's no problem. I'm just excited for the end results!

So ever since I got my iPhone, it seems like it has completely taken over my life. I feel like I'm glued to my cell phone screen 24/7 and that's no bueno! I've been feeling really convicted about it lately so I'm planning a cellphone/facebook fast in the near future. I've been slacking on my alone time with Jesus! I crave the word of God.

Last Thursday I went up to Hannibal to help my Nanaw again. She's really healthy for her age (83), but she still needs help with the heavy lifting and getting her groceries. I also got out her Christmas decorations and decorated her house while listening to Frank Sinatra. I had a really good time playing cards and talking about life and God. We had a mini bible study while I was there and we got to talking about Mormonism. I told her that Mormons believe that there are different levels of heaven and my Nanaw said she, too, believes that there are different levels of heaven. At first, I disagreed with her. I've always believe there to be one heaven. But we were reading 1 Kings and there is a scripture in chapter 8 verse 27 that reads "But will God really dwell on earth? The heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain you. How much less this temple I have built!" Why is heaven plural? And what's up with "highest heaven"? Heaven seems to be plural in many other scriptures. So it kind of confused me, and I honestly still don't know what I believe. I guess I'll find out when I get there! I'm reading the book of Mark right now. I've started re-reading the new testament and after that, I want to start reading the entire old testament.

Well, that's all for now. Wish me luck on my ACT's - it's the next step to my future! I'll leave you with this scripture I just read in Mark:
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to safe his life well lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"
Mark 8:34-36
Lord, I am yours! Amen.

Lovelovelove,
Kinzi Mae

2010-05-07T02:07:00.000-05:00

Greetings from Oceanside, CA... Again?

This is my second big trip out here in California, trying to get away from all the madness I like to call life in Vegas. Don't get me wrong, Vegas is a blessing and since I've lived there and I have met the most amazing people! But it's hard to live somewhere where there's no "magic." I know God's calling me elsewhere, and I know that elsewhere is Columbia. I'll be there (hopefully) in the beginning of July... But, until then, I'm just kind of "existing" here in the west coast.

If I wasn't so eager to move to Missouri, I might actually consider moving to Oceanside! The weather is perfect, the sunsets are to die for, and dressing like a beach bum everyday is awesome! It also helps when you're living with your best friend, doing nothing but watching 'Glee' all day long.

I just can't wait until the day that my family is back together in the same house... Me, my dad, my mom, Kiki and Zoe. The perfect combination for a perfect day.

2009-08-14T00:05:00.000-05:00

Greetings from California! Me and Kiki drove out to Carlsbad to see our best friend, Tracy and we're having a great time! We went to the beach and went boogie boarding (which is a big deal for me, because I'm petrified of the ocean). It's really fun to just chill and be a beach bum for a few days.

We also went to the San Diego Zoo and had a great time, even though most of the animals were sleeping! My favorite part was probably the elephants and the monkeys. It really made me excited about being a wildlife film maker! :)

That's all for now! Have a great day and God bless!
-Kinzi