aMy NiCoLe

missing someone.

2017-06-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like just one glimpse of someone could make your day feel just a little bit brighter then what it does at that moment. Just one hug or one kiss would make it a million times better. Or hey even just a snap or a text saying ‘Hey’ would literally turn your whole day around? Well thats what i’m feeling at this moment. Just one text. just something to let me know that he’s thinking about me would make my day a whole lot brighter and have me smiling ear to ear. That is what i want and what i need right now. I just miss him so much.

And ya know it sucks because before i was happy with just me. I was happy being the single woman who never dated, the girl who never wished to date. Yeah i had crushes but never did i once feel like i needed that hug or that text from a certain someone. This sucks!

life update!

2017-05-30T19:51:00.001-07:00

ok. So ALOT has happened within the last 11 months and when i say alot i mean alot.
ok so here it goes!

my momma started dating a guy named mike.
don't get me wrong hes a great guy but its still just a little weird but its getting better.
i started talking to a guy last june.
but on the down fall, we broke it off for a while almost 2 weeks ago.... thats another story.
we moved!
yup we moved into a house with my mothers boyfriend.
last may my uncle got into a motorcycle accident.
left him disabled and hospital bed bound.
on march 5th he passed away...
and i miss him OH SO MUCH! I want my Uncle Robert back sooo bad!!

So with number one.

Last June my momma went to a concert with a coworker from work, Journey to be exact. And they started talking early May but didnt let us know until 3 days before the concert.

Number two: On June 13th i got a facebook message asking me if i wanted to hangout with a guy that i had a crush on back in high school. He came over to the house a few times i went to his, went out to see the fourth of July fireworks and everything. Every thing was a dream come true. But things went sour with a certain something thats going on at the moment. And i'm hoping we will be able to get back on track because well, i can't get him out of my head. and i can't wait to post about it. He's such an amazing guy and man, i fell fast!

Number three: Back in August (They moved pretty dang fast) they started looking for a place to move into. They looked for 5 months before they found the one they liked. Its in a safe neighborhood and the boys (my brothers) actually have kids to play with now. Its been such a great time living here. And on Feb 25th we moved in. its actually been a great 3 months in the new place.

Number 4&5: May 7th 2016 i was at work and got a phone call. My uncle has been in a motorcycle accident and my momma was going to the hospital said i could stay at work or go to the hospital, well i chosed the hospital, i had to know he was going to be ok. he fought for almost 9 months and he was doing so good. a week before he passed he actually was wanting to get up and learn how to walk again. But he wasnt meant to lay in a hospital bed for the rest of his life. He was always on the go always doing something with his wonderful kids, he wasnt happy and he deff wasnt the Robert that i grew up to know and love when i was a child. I know hes happy now walking on them streets of gold and smiling down on his family.

So thats my life update. hopefully next time it won't be that long.

wow!

2016-01-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

Wow i dont know where to begin. Life has been going. and i dont know if thats going fast, going good, going bad. So its just going. I still work at Sams Club as a cashier. I love it there. They work with my schedule and well thats important.
Right now my brothers are 10 and 8 and they are starting to become a pain in my tail-in. The more i try the more i feel like im failing. I don't understand it. The 8 year old is whiny the entire time after he gets home and the 10 year old i just dont know what to think about him. Sometimes hes so sweet and then other times its like hes a totally different child.
I believe they are getting to the point where they need a father around. Its gettin really hard and i don't know what to do or what to think. Like i said sometimes it easy others i feel really down and depressed like nothing will ever get better.
Through out the past year i have picked up reading very heavily. I can read practically any book in 2 days. The 50shades of Grey triology i read in 9 days. They were much longer books then normally. I enjoyed them.
Reading is my Get-Away-from-LIFE techniques. It works for me. for now. before it was crocheting. Now its reading.
Music well thats SAM HUNT AND ANDY GRAMMER ! !!!
NOTHING beats them two. LOVE THEM !

My ultimate opinion about 50 shades !

2015-02-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

I can guess that 99% of the world has heard about 'Fifty Shades of Grey' book OR movie. And i can almost guarantee that you have heard that its one of the worst books ever and possibly one of the worst movies ever come to picture.

Well This is MY REVIEW or well my opinion on this book [Trilogy]

I heard about this book a few years ago right when it came out and it was instantly getting the public's attention. It got good reviews and it got terrible opinion reviews.

My review starts now.

I picked up this book about 2 weeks ago to see what the hype was. And it took me exactly 9 1/2 days to finish the trilogy. I came to find out when i was reading the books that it actually has an amazing story to it. Christian is a guy that knows what he wants when he wants and he gets the job done. Every woman's dream is to find a man who knows exactly what he wants and well Anastasia did. And she helps with so much stuff that hes went thru in his past.

There is some 'exotic scenes' in the book but they last about 2 pages each. Why put down a book for just about 10 pages. You can easily skip over them pages.

If i had to put my review or my opinion of this trilogy it would be "Its the ultimate chic flick in a book"

This is a really good book. And i honestly hate that this book has got so much negative attention just because words of someone. Give the book a chance and i find out for your self. You dont have to read the 'scenes' or the 'contract' but read the STORY that the book gives. I promise you it wont leave you disappointed. There is actually some parts where i just laughed because i felt some of it was funny, theres some parts that made me mad and theres some parts that gave me 'butterflies' and then theres parts that made me so happy. The Author E L James gives so much detail that you can actually see what the person is thinking and what the do. and how they act toward one another. This book is by far the best book i've read!

QUOTES from the BOOK ! And yes there is a spoiler in the end !

All them babies !

2014-08-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

In my previous posts I wrote about my Aunt and Cousin being pregnant with little boys.

well, THEY ARE BORN!

Bradley Cole was born on June 26th, 2014

And Baby Wyatt Paul was born on August 5th, 2014.

OMGEE my birthday is tomorrow ! The BIG 26

2014-07-18T15:07:00.003-07:00

My mother is on 2nd... lordy how mercy !

2014-07-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

So today marks 2 weeks that i have been watching my little brothers while momma is on 2nd.

heres a back ground kinda story.........

so about 7 years ago my little brother was born, yes brother, anywho with that being said he was born in may and about in October after carowinds was closed for winter she got a job at walmart well that didnt last because they were only giving her about 17 hours a week, who can survive on 17 hours a week?! especially since you have pratically a newborn, ok well a 4 month oldish and a 20 month old who is still in pampers due to his hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy?! but anywho. walmart didnt last then she went to SMX well she moved up from there and they laid her off among 50 other people that night they laid every one off except for managers. so then she claimed unemployment for quit a while and after that was up and every little penny we saved was gone she called up adecco and explained to them her situaction and they got her on over at Cardinal Health. well she was at Cardinal Health on 2nd shift for about 2 years and then went to 3rd shift for about 3 years and now shes back on 2nd shift. so now your all caught up <3 p="">
Anywho what i was saying.......

today it has been exactly 2 weeks for me watching Lou and Sam while momma is back on 2nd shift and other then we all catching hand foot mouth disease i say its been goin smoothly. I mean Sam the 7 year old has been a icky mood because he wants momma here with him instead of at work but he's dealing the best he can. Lou hes ok with it. Me i'm loving it ! yes they get irritable and i get irritable but it working. i can get them on a schedule now and for some reason while momma was on 3rd i couldnt do it i'd try and then it would go terribly wrong.

So starting next week im goin to be doin a craft a day with them going to get them some stickies some glue and probably some other little stuff like gems. but gonna have to go to probably big lots or dollar tree to see what i can find for them. And to make them more 'interested' in them we'll do a craft a day for momma and it should gather their attention and then after they are done with that i'll have to think of something else to do with them :)

but thats my days so far and my plans coming up next week to do with the boys.

i HATE this feeling im having today!

2014-04-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

So yesterday i went with my momma to get a barrel from my daddys job and i got to finally see him. It made me SOOOO happy to see him for a few minutes. but today its like i have this feeling that i hate everything. and i cant stand it. i wish momma could just see it but she can't. Its always "Your still sitting on that couch". And well i cant stand it. i wish she could see the hurt im feeling because i want my daddy back SOOO bad.

but today i did fold the loads of laundry that was sitting in the living room and i did make my brother some Tea and i got the boys to take a bath today and rolled the rest of her filters for her ciggerates so she doesn't have to buy a pack tonight. so i guess i did some 'progress' later on tonight but im hurting real bad on the inside.

And to tell the truth i get like this everytime i talk to him on the phone and right after i see him. I love seeing and spending time with my Daddy because i miss him so much. but i HATE feeling like this about the world/life. i just want the feeling to end.

march 25th 2014

2014-04-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

So guess what happened on march 25th this year?!??!?! My doggie had PUPPIES ! They are so stinking cute. Me and Lou woke up at 4:30 that morning and there was a puppy laying beside of me and lou. And im taking it that since this is Mollys first litter she really didnt know what it was. But i cut the cord and cleaned him up just a little bit and introduced him to Molly. She licked his face and got all the stuff off the puppy and as soon as it whined its like her maternal instincts came thru. It was INCREDIABLE. Heres some pictures of the puppies so far. They are now 2 weeks and 3 days old :)

Special Olympics 2014!

2014-04-11T14:16:00.002-07:00

So today i went to the Special Olympics with my Little brother and his class and my mother. And well lets just say they had a COMPLETE BALL ! He got first place in softball throwing and 5th place in 50 meters dash/run. Heres some pictures to show the awesomeness they had :)

just the beginning of 2014!!!!

2014-03-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

So New Years is alrite i guess. went to sleep at about 8 and didnt wake up til about 8 yeah i know not late at all but what to do when you got a 7 year old brother at the time whos an early bird?! But the first person i talked to this year was my Daddy :) And i love it. He's the one i miss terribly but it'll come one day :)
Lou had his birthday party at Chuckee Cheeses (i know big surprise lol) but he had a blast my cousin and her grandson malachi came which surprised him he had her running every where :)

This winter has been terrible. Snow rain thunder ehhh i just want it to stop already.

February wasnt so bad that i think. i met my great uncle homer for the first time. And in March he passed away he was 86 years old. He even told us that he lived 2 years longer then his daddy and that The Devil was trying to kill him but God had a protective shield for him. We believe he was waiting on his son that lives in Tennessee to call him because right after that he went into a deep coma thing and passed away not even 2 days later. But that was March.
and even thou it is still march i still have some exciting news to tell yal :)

On march 25th. MOLLY (my doggie) had her puppies :) And they are sooooo cute. She had 4 boys and a little girl. And Sam is inlove with one of the boys. He calls it COW it looks just like a cow :) And sooo cute.

What is goin on for the rest of 2013??!?!?

2014-03-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

wow. so i havent posted on here in a LONG time !

anywho....

It is March 29th 2014 today. and well i got ALOT to write about :)

In november 2013 i quit my job at kmart and started working at Sams Club a day later :) I had my interview on a friday and then the following monday i had my orientation and then i called my manage at kmart letting them know i was quitting that i found another job and i wouldnt be back. well he asked if i could come in the next day i said sure because i wasnt starting sams club until black friday at 12 pm for training. he was mad but he understood i needed a better paying job then 7.25 a hour that was about 30 mins from the house and most hours i got was about 15-17 hours a week.
So i started training (CBLS) the day before thanksgiving and then then the day after thanksgiving. So far i absolutely LOVE IT. i rarely ever get a week with lower then 18 hours and the most i have gotten is 32 hours :) And the only reason is because i cant get over 32 hours because then i would be considered full time and im at a part time pay and i came in as a part time empolyee. so sams club is being AMAZING to me with the hours. and im getting the time of hours i want:) 8-3 on weekdays and sundays and 8-7 on saturdays.

So Christmas was wonderful! we went to my grandma bettys (havent had christmas time with them since my daddy moved out) so it was glorious. I still say my family will get back together so im hoping for the best!
But we went over to my Aunts house first and then spent the rest of christmas eve with my grandma and everyone else on my daddys side.

My little niece Aaliyah Nicole also turnt the big ONE on December 28th :) She is the most adorable little girl ever :) So smiley and spoiled.

And i guess this is the end of this post. Next post is all the exciting stuff that is happening now and Well so far in 2014

Day at grandmas <3

2013-08-19T09:21:00.001-07:00

Eating :/

2013-08-06T17:57:00.001-07:00

So today and yesterday I have only drunk some tea and some milk. I can not eat for some reason! I get horrible pains and it hurts extremely bad. I told my momma about them and she says they are gas pains?! What in the world ! I know gas pains hurts but geesh didn't know they would hurt like that. But since I am on nothing but a "liquid diet" everything seems to be a ok. I ate a bite of my brothers pizza earlier and the pains about killed me. It hurt real bad. But on the good note I've lost like 8 lbs bc of not eating. Not a good way to loose weight. But what can ya do when ya can't eat.

The Scientific Death of Jesus !

2013-04-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

THE
(SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS

At the age of 33, Jesus was condemned to the death penalty.

At the time crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst criminals condemned to be crucified. Yet it was even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike other criminals condemned to death by crucifixion, Jesus was to be nailed to the cross by His hands and feet.

Each nail was 6 to 8 inches long.

The nails were driven into His wrist.

Not into His palms as is commonly portrayed.

There's a tendon in the wrist that extends to the shoulder.

The Roman guards knew that when the nails

were being hammered into the wrist,

that tendon would tear and break, forcing Jesus

to use His back muscles to support himself

so that He could breathe.

Both of His feet were nailed together.

Thus He was forced to support Himself on the single nail

that impaled His feet to the cross.

Jesus could not support himself with His legs

because of the pain, so He was forced to alternate

between arching His back then using his legs

just to continue to breathe.

Imagine the struggle, the pain, the suffering, the courage.

Jesus endured this reality for over 3 hours.

Yes, over 3 hours!

Can you imagine this kind of suffering?

A few minutes before He died,
Jesus stopped bleeding.

He was simply pouring water from his wounds.

From common images, we see wounds to His hands

and feet and even the spear wound to His side...

But do we realize His wounds were actually made in his body.

A hammer driving large nails through the wrist,

the feet overlapped and an even large nail

hammered through the arches,

then a Roman guard piercing His side with a spear.

But before the nails and the spear,

Jesus was whipped and beaten.

The whipping was so severe that it tore the flesh from His body.

The beating so horrific that His face was torn

and his beard ripped from His face.

The crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp.

Most men would not have survived this torture.

He had no more blood to bleed out,

only water poured from His wounds.

The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters
(just less than a gallon) of blood.

Jesus poured all 3.5 liters of his blood;

He had three nails hammered into His members;

a crown of thorns on His head and, beyond that,

a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into His chest.

All these without mentioning the humiliation

He passed after carrying His own cross for almost 2 kilometers,

while the crowd spat in his face and threw stones

(the cross was almost 30 kg of weight, only for its higher part,

where His hands were nailed).

Jesus had to endure this experience,

so that you can have free access to God.

So that your sins could be "washed" away.

All of them, with no exception!
Don't ignore this situation.

JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU!

All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

2013-04-06T19:27:00.001-07:00

All I need to know

I learned from the Easter Bunny!

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans.

Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Sams and his asthma :(

2013-01-31T20:57:00.001-08:00

So this week Sams asthma started acting up again. First time in 2 years :(

Well heres the buggin i did tonight :)

Welcome to the world Aaliyah

2012-12-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, December 19th my sister and her fiance welcomed their second daughter to the world at 9 02 am.

Aaliyah Nicole O'Neal. born 12/19, 9:02am. 6lb 12oz, 18.5in

10 more days til My niece Arrives.

2012-12-09T05:05:00.002-08:00

So i have exactley 10 days until Miss Aaliyah Nicole arrives :) Im so excited. SO ready to meet my niece :)

2012-12-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Making Ornaments with the brothers.

2012-12-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

2 cups of flour.
1 cup of salt.
4 tbsp of oil.
1/2 cup of water (you have to play with it.)

Mix first 3 ingrediants. add water until desired texture. then roll out the dough and make your ornaments Air dry or bake at 250 degrees for 1 hour. * im letting my air dry over night.
You can paint them after they are dried and hardened. just use i think acrylic Art paint i believe it is. And if you want it to smell like anything just use your seasonings you want.

Feed the alligators.

2012-12-02T17:40:00.001-08:00

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said,

'I'm here to feed the alligator...'

Some old men can still think fast.

WORK♥

2012-11-25T18:09:00.002-08:00

So i have been a employee at Kmart for exactley 8 days :) Thats right.. I have been working for over a week now♥ so excited! Yes its only Kmart but hey its a job correct?! and in that week i have had the most aggravating customers lol. Well rude anyways. I have had a total void because one of them didnt want to give me their phone number and have had one of my old crushes to come thru my line and had to ring them up. Talkin about awkward, didnt no what to say to him or anything. But hey maybe i get to see him again :l Kinda brought feelings that i didnt know i still had for him but hey. That is plenty enough aabout that.

But work is awesome:) My feet are fine until one hour before its time to leave so HOPEFULLY they'll get thru it all by the end of this week......

But that is how my first work week went so far :) Keep tuned:)

Reliving parts of life.

2012-09-25T17:16:00.001-07:00

For the past year now every time i lay down or just try to relax its like i 'relive' the most dramatic parts of my life. I can hear everything that was said, and can see everything so clearly and the exact same emotions comes rushing back to me.
Told momma that i think i may have STPD but thats for people who has seen life threatening events (ex. a murder, robbery etc) So i know thats not it.
I just wish one night i can get to bed at a decent hour and not stay up to 2,3,4 oclock in the morning every single night. and one night i can be stress, emotional free from all the memories from 2007 and beyond.

oh baby baby baby

2012-09-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

from the title of the blog you might can go with one or a million things of what this is about. but its about babies!

I am 24 years old, single, and i want my own family. Yes i want my own family. I see piratically atleast once a month on my facebook that someone is expecting a child, someone is getting married, someone just got engaged. and i cant help but think "When is it my turn" and "why not me." It got a little bit easier until about July at the end of the month and my Aunt was at the end of her pregnancy. And it just sunk in, shes going to have a baby, her 2nd baby at that.
And when she was in labor having my cousin i wanted to be the one on the bed giving birth to a innocent little baby, i was so cranky that day because of it. Everytime i see a baby it makes me want to be one I dont know what it is. I have raised 2 kids (my brothers) and even thou i have seen a child be born and seen the pain and know how miserable pregnancy can be i still want to become a mother. Now i know that it wont happen until God sees its My time to become a Wife and a mother i know its got to be in his time. but i dont know why i want to become a wife and mother so bad. My marnally side is really getin the best of me.