amyella

Jackson is THREE!

2015-02-11T11:36:00.001-05:00

THREE!

Three years ago today we had no idea we'd be spending the next five nights in the hospital with my baby who wasn't due for another 16 days. Looking back his birth was like a comedy of errors, everything I didn't want to happen, did. My plan for an unmedicated, natural birth turned into an emergency C-section; my adamant refusal to have my son taken from my room and put in the nursery was thwarted by jaundice and bilirubin numbers that just wouldn't come up, resulting in days under lights in the nursery. My stance on breastmilk exclusively became ironic when he refused every bottle known to man and we loaded my breastmilk into feeding syringes to keep his weight up.

It was all such a big deal then, and now he's just a big kid who eats spaghetti with his hands and sleeps in a full size bed. He has "best friends" and holds full conversations. He loves school but remains a full-blown mama's boy. He has a sense of humor and is thoughtful.

I love you, Jackson. You're my best.

Jackson's Birthday Cupcakes

2015-02-11T11:25:00.004-05:00

Jackson is THREE! I keep writing it with all capital letters because THREE feels more accurate in terms of personifying the age. It's big and loud! I made cupcakes for Jackson's class today, which is back in session after many snow days at home. The entire school is a nut free facility, and he has one classmate with a gluten allergy and the other with a dairy allergy. I would have made paleo cupcakes anyway, but the dairy allergy threw a wrench in the frosting I wanted to use. I ended up making one batch of chocolate cupcakes (gluten free, nut free, not dairy free) and one batch of vanilla cupcakes (gluten free, nut free, dairy free) and then frosted them all with easy two-ingredient buttercream except for one vanilla cupcake, which I frosted with a single serving of dairy free frosting made from coconut oil, maple syrup, and cocoa powder. These are the recipes I used (I use them just about every year, they're my favorites).

Paleo Chocolate Cupcakes
adapted from My Paleo Life (as Sweet Potato Paleo Brownies)

1/2 cup chocolate chips
1 cup canned organic pumpkin
1/4 cup unpasteurized local honey
3 eggs
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp instant coffee granules
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp coconut flour
1 tbsp coconut oil
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Melt the chocolate chips and the coconut oil in either a double boiler or in the microwave. I use the microwave at 30 second bursts, stir repeatedly until melted (usually in 1 1/2 minutes)
Add in all of the other ingredients, and mix until very smooth and creamy.
Transfer the batter to 10 cupcake tins lined with cupcake liners
Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.

For best texture and rich flavor chill in the refrigerator before serving.

Paleo Vanilla Cupcakes

from Elana's Pantry (http://elanaspantry.com/paleo-vanilla-cupcakes/)

¼ cup coconut flour
⅛ teaspoon celtic sea salt
⅛ teaspoon baking soda
3 large eggs
¼ cup palm shortening or oil (I used light olive oil)
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Combine coconut flour, salt and baking soda
Add in eggs, shortening, honey and vanilla
Line a cupcake tine cupcake liners and scoop batter into each
Bake at 350° for 20-24 minutes
Cool for 1 hour

Easy Chocolate Buttercreamfrom Cookies and Cups (http://cookiesandcups.com/easy-chocolate-buttercream/)

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 lb (2 cups) butter

In medium saucepan, melt chocolate chips and butter over medium low heat, whisking frequently.
When melted, cool completely and chill until solid.
Remove from fridge and allow to come up to room temperature.
Put all the chocolate in a mixing bowl and beat on medium for 2 minutes until light in color and fluffy.

Single Serving Coconut Oil Chocolate Frosting

2 Tbsp coconut oil, softened but still solid
1 Tbsp cocoa powder
1 Tbsp maple syrup
couple drops of vanilla

Mix until smooth. Adjust ingredients to taste.

Jackson and Daddy Made A Snowman

2015-01-26T10:29:00.001-05:00

We're supposed to get another two to three feet of snow starting this evening (and going until Monday morning) so there will surely be more opportunities for snowman making, but over the weekend we got a few inches and Jackson and daddy made a snowman.

I'm trying not to be too bummed out about the weather because, well, this is New England. It's not a surprise or anything. There was no bait and switch. I remind myself that in the spring we walk to the end of the street to play at the baseball field, and two blocks away to the playground. In the summer we walk a quarter of a mile to the beach to lay in the sand and swim in the ocean. We can take the train, three quarters of a mile away, to Fenway. (Also, pro tip: vitamin D supplements.)

Most importantly, this weekend RaRa came by to play cribbage for a few hours and this afternoon Auntie April and Auntie Paige will be stopping by for a little bit. Nana is babysitting in a couple of weeks. The weather really sucks here in the winter, but the company is pretty great.

Chapstick

2015-01-23T09:54:00.001-05:00

It's possible that Jackson's chapstick obsession is getting a little out of control. This doesn't count the five that I've hidden while he's at school.

My Breakfast Date

2015-01-12T15:15:00.004-05:00

I adjusted our chiropractor appointments so Jackson and I go at the same time instead of six hours apart on the same days. Now I only have to drive there three times a week instead of six, which makes a lot more sense and also gets it all done before school and doesn't cut into my work time. The only downside is that our appointment is at 7:30 in the morning, which means we have about 45 minutes to kill afterward before getting him to school. It will be great once the weather is nice and we can spend 45 minutes at the playground or the beach. Alas, the weather is not nice. It is so, so not nice.

This morning I took us over to the diner. We sat at the best table in the house, facing the street window, and we watched everyone who came in or went out. We were facing the mural on the brick wall across the street and noted the painted boy walking the painted dog. I had two cups of too-bitter coffee and he had a cinnamon raisin bagel. It was a pretty great way to start the day.

2015

2015-01-08T10:58:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about popping back here to start posting again. I'm not sure how regularly I might get to it but I figured I could give it a whirl. I feel like I don't have much to say because my life is crushingly mundane.

Well that's not a good way to start.

These days I'm essentially working full time but with only part time availability to do so. In other words, I have about 37 hours of client work to do a week, and Jackson is in school or napping for about 20 hours a week. So. Yeah.

I also have to go grocery shopping, keep the house at least tidy, prepare 21 meals a week, work out, and actually interact with my son. Some days I feel like I'm doing a kick ass job, and some days I feel like an utter failure. I don't think I'm unique in that.

Anyway, I'm one week into a Whole 30 and, not to sound like an asshole, but I'm breezing through it. It's not wildly different from how I normally eat, although I had been letting the gluten free products and sugar (honey, maple syrup, chocolate) take up too much space in my diet. So far I feel great, as expected. On the other hand, I'm trying hard to find the will to leave the house to get to the gym but when it's -22 degrees all I want to do is stay indoors. I've also pulled out my Insanity DVDs and am incorporating those into my weekly workouts. It's turning out to be a nice mix, actually. Two or three days week in the gym, lifting, and 2 or three days a week doing an Insanity workout.

Maybe this will be the year I get back into The Jeans? Well, I'm not holding my breath on that one, but I can definitely look forward to feeling better at the beach!

Here's what else I have planned for 2015:

Traveling with the family in February to visit my cousin in North Carolina
As many beach days as humanly possible
Vacationing with the Herd in August at the Cape
A visit from my brother in law in September

Well, that doesn't look like much, but it's early in the year! I'm also going to work on some personal growth this year, but maybe I'll talk about that later.

Playing Around at the Playground

2014-11-10T17:52:00.001-05:00

Mommy

2014-05-28T10:12:00.000-04:00

I don't know how this happened, but two days ago my name changed. I'm no longer "Mama" and instead I hear "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" coming from my baby's mouth. Where did he learn this? School? We never say Mommy, we always say Mama. And I still do. And I still will, for a while at least, in the hopes that it will catch back on. I mean, I know we don't live in the south but I was really hoping to hang onto "Mama" permanently. Like, I want to hear my wildly successful, grown man of a son pick up the phone and say, "Hey, Mama, how are you doing today?"

Instead, I hear something like this message, left for me while I was at the gym the other night: Listen to this.

I Love You, Mama

2014-05-21T10:13:00.000-04:00

I guess it's hard to understand if you don't know Jackson-toddler-speak, but he's saying, "I love you, Mama"

Stuff I Want To Remember

2014-05-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

I was marveling the other day how a few months ago Jackson literally went from about six words to more than 50 in approximately three weeks. I was also saying that I'm so happy that we finally have conversations where he can tell me about his day, or what hurts, or what he'd like to do. I love that almost every day I see new developments in his speech. But it also breaks my heart that some of his baby-isms have already dropped! We've completely lost "Meemee/Maymee" and it's just "Baby" now. "DHAT?!" has been replaced with "Dhat is dhat?"

This morning, out of the blue, he referred to the dogs as "Kima" and "Easton" instead of "Memaw" and "Eat-in".

He's still got a handful of Jacksonims that are my favorite:

Moot (Milk)

Mooz (Move)

Moo-mee (Excuse me)

Mah-mih-mah MOUSTH (Mortimer Mouse)

I know the appropriate thing to do is to use the correct pronunciation in return, so if he asks for "moot, pease" I should say "here's your milk". But sometimes I say moot, too. Or moo-mee. Or mooz. I mean, I'm only human, ya know?

It's a Look

2014-05-02T09:21:00.003-04:00

Hiding. Nudey.

2014-04-28T09:07:00.002-04:00

Jackson, where are you? Has anyone seen Jackson? He was just here a minute ago.

I found you!!

Chairs

2014-04-21T19:02:00.001-04:00

Sure. Ok.

In the sun

2014-04-07T10:50:00.001-04:00

Note that Jackson insisted on mittens despite the 50 degree temps.

What's this I see? Is it...warm enough for the kids to be outside? Without snow pants and boots? Is that the ground showing?

We've broken through the gray gates and it's now warm enough for the kids to be outside every morning at school and for us to go back to our daily afternoon walks!

It's still a bit chilly down at the beach and we head back with pink cheeks and cold noses, but it's been sunny and we're slowly starting to don lighter layers.

I haven't been able to make it long enough to go unbroken outside time until dinner, but we've been heading to the beach, then back toward home with a detour to the ball field, then back home to the backyard. By the time I feel really cold all we have to do is go in the house. I realize I'm more sensitive to the cold than some but that's just the way it goes. You will not hear me complain one single time when it's 98 degrees and humid this summer. I'll be the one drenched in sweat with a frizzy ponytail grinning like a fool in the sun.

Despite me getting chilled after a couple of hours I think Jackson would stay outside past bedtime if I let him. We're supposed to break 60 degrees a couple of times this week, although we might get rain. We'll see. Either way, we're all beyond delighted just to be out at all.

Pompeii

2014-04-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

I'm the first to admit that I'm not hip (evidenced by the fact that I say "not hip"). I know this song is popular right now but I sort of stumbled upon it and I'm obsessed with it. I listened to it so many times the other day that Jackson finally covered his ears and told me, "No Mama! No!" Whatever, kid, do you know how many times per day I listen to the hot dog song?

I finally downloaded it and added it to basically every playlist I have. As an aside, I prefer downloading through Amazon, even though downloading from iTunes right on my phone is faster. The Amazon cloud player automatically adds it to iTunes so there's no extra step in that regard and now I have an MP3 that will play on any device instead of a proprietary Apple file. Not that I have any intention of switching my iPhone, iPod, or iPad any time soon, but still. Proprietary files can suck it.

Large Motor Room

2014-03-31T07:00:00.000-04:00

It's not a perfect replacement for running around outside in the fresh air, but the large motor room at school is pretty much the greatest indoor activity for toddlers, ever, in the history of man.

In every corner of the room are these large, foam, bouncy things. Hanging from the ceiling are rings (like gymnastic rings scaled down to appropriate shape and size for toddler hands.) There's a small trampoline with handles for bouncing the energy right out of a small body, small stairs that go up one side to a small platform and then down the other side. Various sizes and shapes of balls and riding toys are mixed in.

Some days I come in to pick up Jackson and three or four children are just running in a circle and yelling for no reason.

Basically if we hit the lottery this is one of the first things being installed in the house.

Hot Diggity Dog

2014-03-28T07:00:00.000-04:00

This is a good way to start the weekend.

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog

Now we got ears, it's time for cheers

Hot dog, hot dog, the problem's solved

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog

Fours

2014-03-26T07:00:00.000-04:00

It took a few minutes to remember how to use the camera. Because, 4:30.

When we got home from vacation we had a pretty good go of it, from a sleeping standpoint. It was almost like the upset to our routine gave us the chance to reset! Jackson was going to sleep by about 7pm and waking up at 5:30!! One morning he slept until 5:45! He was even waking up and then entertaining himself by chatting quietly and playing with all the stuffed animals in his bed (of which there are many.) It was glorious and we had about three weeks of this amazing sleep.

Pause to note that I'm still referring to sleeping until 5:45 in the morning and then lying awake until about 6:15 or so.

Ok, just wanted to make sure we were still all on the same page.

Alas, about a week ago that all came to a screeching halt. We were getting massive pushback at bedtime with lots of fussing, yelling for Mama and Dada, tossing and turning and eventually getting to sleep between 7:30 - 8:30. And waking up at 4:30.

Dear Everyone-who-keeps-saying-put-him-to-bed-later-and-he'll-sleep-later,

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY BUT THANKS FOR THE ASSVICE, KBYE.

So now we're back to starting the bedtime routine by 6:15 and getting him into bed by 6:25. This has resulted in: absolutely no fussing whatsoever when he goes down, and falling asleep without a peep by 6:30. It also results in a wake up time of about 4:30, but at least one of us is getting the full number of hours of sleep they need in that time! Some mornings he starts yelling for me right away (there is no other alarm clock in the world that competes with being awoken by the sound of "MAA-MAAAHHHH!!!") but some mornings he chats and plays quietly for a bit.

I guess we'll be sticking with 6:15 for a while.

Snuggles

2014-03-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

With the dogs.

Spring

2014-03-24T11:19:00.002-04:00

So it's officially Spring!

Spring makes me think of vibrancy and warmth: blue sky, green trees, and flowers that bloom in fuchsia, yellow, orange, purple and red. It makes me excited to get outside and run and start taking long afternoon walks with Jackson. Spring means being outside.

Except:

And also:

Spring. Meh. Is it summer yet?

Easton

2014-03-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

This face! I mean, c'mon, look at this face! It's a face that everybody loves. You too, Easton, are getting a little grey but it sure isn't impacting your sweet nature. You're even getting a little more tolerant of the baby although, lucky for you, he does seem to prefer "Me-maw".

I hope you never have to go without Kima by your side because, sweet boy, I don't know what the hell you would do. You'd be lost. As it is we catch you standing in the middle of the room just looking at a wall. Staring. If you had a thought bubble it would probably look like: ".... ??? ...." All. The. Time. You're easily confused and certainly like direction but that doesn't make you any less lovable. Even if you do prefer to sleep on the end of the couch, alone and untouched, rather than curl up in a lap like Kima.

Kima

2014-03-17T09:00:00.000-04:00

Where did the time go, ol' girl? You might not get as much stage time as you once did, but I promise I love you just as much as ever. Healthy as can be and the alpha for sure. Keep keeping Easton grounded, ok? That poor dog would be lost without out you.

Do you know the trouble we went through to find a backyard suitable for you and Easton? And what do you want to do? Do you want to go run and fetch balls or chew sticks or lay in the sun? No, you just want to snuggle up on the couch like a lap dog. You may not be an athlete, Kima, but you are a damn good dog.

Also, big. You're a big dog. Please stop running the baby over. I know, I know, any day now you're totally going to calm down. You big, wiggly, sweet puppy girl, you.

Blue

2014-03-13T09:11:00.001-04:00

I don't want to be cold anymore, and I don't want to feel stuck in the house anymore. This weather makes me feel blue.

I've spent the morning reminding myself of the feeling I have when the sun is out and the sky is blue and all the trees are blooming. Walking to the beach everyday, getting sand in our clothes, tiptoeing in the water. Or walking through the cemetery where it's quiet and calm except for the drumming of running toddler feet.

It's not that I can't accept the winter, but the year is unbalanced and it feels unfair. I want to go outside and run and feel free.

Office Wall

2014-03-12T10:04:00.004-04:00

I like this little wall in my office. It's too dismal to turn and look out the window at the backyard, so if I need a few minutes to think I face this way.

Vacation Success: Red Sox Spring Training

2014-02-22T16:32:00.004-05:00

Our February vacation to sunny Fort Myers was a resounding success! Our primary goals of 1. escaping the freezing cold and snow, 2. hanging with good friends, 3. seeing Red Sox Spring Training were all achieved.

As a bonus, I did not have to fight an alligator!

Kristin has a good recap of the trip but I'll take this opportunity to include more gratuitous pictures of my kid.

We went in with only a loose itinerary of heading out in the morning for activities and spending the afternoons relaxing by the pool. We were happy to bask in the 80+ degree weather everyday and even though the pool was butt cold, that did not stop us from enjoying it.

Monday and Tuesday morning we arrived at JetBlue park to buy memorabilia, eat hot dogs, and hang out with Big Papi. Jackson took this opportunity to play with dirt and be cute enough to score an official MLB baseball from a coach. Twice.

Wednesday morning we played some putt-putt golf and fought the traffic to have lunch by the beach. We also scoped out a couple of beautiful communities where we intend to stay next year. We're definitely planning to go back and now we know exactly where we'd like to be and what to look for in a rental.

It was a low-key vacation and one that we'll look forward to every year!

Green monster!

Father and son

Smile!

Oh hai Big Papi

Yes, he did get it

At some point in your life you have to be willing to post ridiculous photos of yourself

In the "boat"

Joy

Til next year, Florida