An American Dream Shattered

Pain and Loathing in Pasadena

2011-11-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

It was July 2008, I had been living in rented rooms for 3 months now, and deciding if I shoud take the next flight home. I received email from my attorney at the time, and was told some form of concession was possible, in a payout time table. I was literally one foot away from completely never seeing my family again, never to have ever had chance to see all my friends again at least once more before I go (all of this, as the reader will find later, part of a manipulation started early on).

By this time, I knew when I got on that plane, I'm not going to be able to come back to Thailand as often as I wanted. By this time our apartment was more than just our own domicile while the contracts were being negotiated, but 3 months of living daily with a local girl who worked at the mall across the street. Our relationship started before we met each other in person online, and continued after I was back living in my parents' house, now that I was dead broke and had no income and had an enormous financial and legal weight on my shoulders.

But I bought the ticket. I decided, whatever fate, remained at home, that American Justice would come through on me, and that in the end, the guys who scammed me, the guys who took all our family and friends money, are the ones to blame and that money would come back. How naive a feeble human I am, I'll soon realize over a decade later when self realization slowly sets in permanently. (Back to today)...Only...I had no financial fall back of any kind to cushion the event so it compeletely wiped me out. Completely. This includes up to 110k USD in credit card debts (and more, which I'm sure will come up in later chapters).

First moment of unconsciousness

I woke up on the bathroom floor on my back, Tuesday the second week of June, noticing I had pulled the shower curtain down with me as I cushioned my fall. First thing I notice is all pain in the back of the neck, then a very sour upper back and neck in general. However, upon cursory checks of my head, I found I was lucky to not have fallen on my face or somewhere on my head first. It was a real first scare that I was working way too long hours and for too long.

Suddenly Unexpectedly

It was sudden, unexpected and instant overnight debit by a law firm representing the now CHARGE OFFs on my personal US credit report! However is it, that things turned out the way they did? What if they are also collecting from the recently deceased as a sneaky new con job in large metro areas? The LA Superior Court should have given one of its long time tax paying American Repubican patriots, a chance to explain their recent life and economic situations (from the first 2006 financial frauds by a trusted friend) to understand condolensences of what were the reasons and intensions into why no information at all of my life circumstances or what I was going through at the time, are recorded as other items are?

The moment I saw it

I still remember that day, it doesn't feel too long ago. Suddenly losing $13,800 that you had worked hard to save as a cushion and help my folks, was suddenly legally debited from my personal checking account! It wasn't too long ago, just about half a year back, when suddenly, right before I was going to send out everyone's payments out, the law firm with the judgment decided to check my personal bank checking records, and it was the day before I was going to Western Union our team for their previous month's efforts. They decided to collect that day from my personal checking account. Completely unsuspecting, I got up to find out I had $-700 in my personal account. At first, I figured it had to be a simple clerical mistake.

It had to be a mistake. But upon being forwarded to 2 other callers, the final caller told me I need to speak to an agent at some phone number. Turns as luck would have it, they hit my personal account at -$14,000, suddenly leaving me with a -$700 overage fee, executing their perfectly legal judgement lien on my personal bank accounts. I was lucky I had at lease no assets of any appreciable value, or those would have been legally liened on too. All without even a one paragraph explanation of things that happened, as it really happened) and panicking for what to do, how to get everyone paid, etc. The helpful teller tells me that I would need to speak to legal to handle this situation, so I thanked him for his confirmation and time.

An omen from Tenzin

"But of course, evil spirts don't just follow you around. Every authentic Shaman of every tradition will tell you this. They actually live and sleep with you, as though your consciousness is the same," shrugged Tenzin on a rare visit.

Drugs and Manipulation

2011-10-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

A wise thought leader once said, "the Truth will prevail." As we start to go into this protracted American/global recession and deflation of our once almighty Dollar, that "Cliche" slogan doesn't bring me comfort as the audience will see what one tragedy after another unfolds as I continue with this story of the dark side of America, a side that once you are too far down the path, will destroy you, and the prospects of any happiness in your life.

It was about mid April 2007, that due to mounting panic and stress from increasing difficulty in getting a hold of Freddie (by phone, email or Skype), that a mutual Pharmacist friend started getting me samples of Xanax and Klonopin, to see if it would help so I can ask my doctor. Not able to get a hold of Freddie, I finally just text him that I'm at LAX, and that I'm on my way. He knew this wasn't a social visit, and made it very uncomfortable for me to come and simply visit him at his house. We ended up meeting at the Airport, and rented a hotel in Florida, not far from this "Jean Claude" character's office.

It was about this time, that I was introduced to the anti-anxiety medications Xanax and Klonopin, by a mutual pharmacist friend who was worried about my 'investments' as he can see I was clearly distraught. What I didn't know, was what Hell had in store for me 3 years later...the physical and mental pains coming off it and cranial physical addictions to the Bezodiazepines in the most horrible way.

What seemed a seemingly benevolent act of getting me some prescriptions that would help in my stress and panic: little did I know, over the next several months, I will go into an increasing panic state, with bouts of Benzodiazapine withdrawal syndromes, putting me in a vulnerable state for making key life-altering decisions. My ego at the time didn't allow me to accept that this was a very serious situation. That this can be fixed. Freddie would fix it. Or so I naively thought...

The pharmaceutical industry, their miraculous drugs, and getting perfectly healthy humans addicted on them through a once or twice in a life time tragedy (as the backdrop) is both appreciated by the patient, but also humanely disconcerting as well. What I didn't know at the time, was that both Xanax and Klonopins are highly addictive, and that after taking it for even a couple of days, your body will start to experience a negative withdrawal 'sickness'. The worst withdrawal symptoms lead to death from seizures, suicidal ideations or worse.

At first, you don't really feel anything but the positive effects from the drug (as with most drugs I would imagine.) Then, after a while, your tolerance goes up, you need a steady level of the long shelf life drug to stay in your system so that you can very very slowly ween off. Many cases of death from sudden withdrawal seizures and worse have been routinely reported, and currently many countries ban it, making it illegal to obtain...makes you wonder about big American Pharma and Politics.

It was in the background of this psych meds altered state of mind, that I increasingly relied on Freddie to come through on, not one, but 3 investment groups (just to get a refund of our money wired back from them), as I feared not being able to give my family and friends their money back.

By this time, of course, I could have walked away from Freddie, and let my family and 2 friends know the bad news. This, and again, my ego that I completely trusted my financially savvy friend, was what gave me tunnel vision...that no one understood the business Freddie was in. That it was not something available to 99.9% of the rest of the world, so of course it would be ridiculed and dismissed by most.

What I could not in a million years accept, was the fact that I had just lost in a wink of an eye, without ample explanation or documents from Freddie, my father's entire life savings, my life savings and two friends' cash into Freddie's investments (which by this time he called a "Hedge Fund"). I was scared, in a panic, feeling suicidal and the only person I can talk to was Freddie. I was at a loss as to what to do.

The first big scam

Worsened no doubt by the Clonazepam side effects (that I was by that time taking daily to stay calm for the $500k I was increasingly doubtful Freddie was going to get back for me), I increasingly started to fear that Freddie was scamming me. What I could not believe, in fact refused to believe, was even the remote possibility that Freddie could be the one that is orchestrating the deceptions, acting as though he is on my side to try to 'recoup' the moneys initially lost, all the while having a much longer plan to con this gullible and trusting fool. I was being set up for what "Sawyer" in the ABC hit show LOST called "The long con".

By now clouded in judgement by fear, and told I cannot contact the FBI, he would 'rationalize' to me, "Wait a second Alex, stop, just stop, stop stop stop. We can't act out of panic. If the FDLE is looking for the rightful beneficiaries of these defrauded funds, then they will eventually trace back to me, and I'll take care of it for us." It turned out I never heard from whatever happened to this money. If the IRS or FBI had ever truly contacted him, or if he even possibly had the total $1 million cash ($500k of which was mine) returned to him 'as the beneficiary', and not letting me know.

Freddie had an answer for everything. Cool and collected, he once told me in his car that he "eats attorneys for lunch". What I was told that fateful night in Florida in summer of 2007, was that he will deal with it through with the IRS, and two, that he has a guarantor for the $1 million cash he wired, a one "Patrice" person who referred Freddie to this group, and gave me reassurance she can get us our refund money back. As I would learn later, all of this was a fabrication.

What he had me do in the the coming months would put me in a situation where I would not be able to take any action, due to being frozen in fear for the repercussions of losing all of this money, and that I would get in trouble with the law, because the money that I wired him were not all mine, but that it was my father's, my friends', my family's, and so forth, and that as I was not licensed as a securities broker for the 'joint venture' he suggested and had me sign contracts with to raise more money to 'recoup' our losses while we wait for the 'refund' from the first fraud. As it turned out later, he was not licensed either, and this was a scare tactic for me not to contact the FBI and FDLE in Florida myself.

Lucifer is generally a character referred to in the Bible, associated with Satan (a fallen angel) and all the evil ones of heaven and hell. Little did I know, even after all of this so far, so blindingly trusting out of fear, depression, and ego, that I still had no idea what kind of torturous life Freddie had in store for me, as he continued to (as suspicious as I was), had no choice but to trust he will make me whole.

I still at this point, believed what Freddie kept telling me. Freddie's words that fateful night I found the initial 500k was lost, while I spun into a panic was, "Alex, calm down, we need to DOUBLE DOWN, and recoup our losses". That he found two new investment groups, vetted out and confirmed legitimate, would help us recoup our lost money. What stupidity, fear, loathing, and regret I have now... for what was around the corner was worse than anything I could have ever in my worst nightmare imagined....

Denial and Faith

2011-10-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

From May on, 2006 was a period like I had never experienced before. Yes, I had a whirlwind of travel plans after the next, and the monthly returns did continue to flow, but as the months went on, things weren't happening with our deals as Freddie had promised.

It didn't bother me too much at the start. These were, investments, after all. There were certain risks involved. What may have been one of my earliest intuitions early on, was a nagging suspicion Freddie was not telling me the whole truth. Certain documents could not be produced, something seemingly simple, such as a copy of the wire transfer for the combined $1 million cash, (strangely) sent to the 'wife' of the guy (Jean Claude) who he was supposedly having this high level financial transaction with.

The deal Freddie offered me in September 2006, was to pull our cash together (500k each) so we can get a 6 month loan facility (valued at $20 million) set up for us with monthly points plus LIBOR as our costs. I forgot to mention, there was also a 5% cash fee for the opportunity, which for a $20 million valued instrument, puts the retainer at $1 million dollars, cash. I must have been completely blinded to the huge profits Freddie would keep projecting with confidence, and how we would be getting Yachts together, large homes, sports cars. It seemed fair enough to me, that we would both split the cost of the instrument down the middle. I was very appreciative of all he had done to date. Freddie's conviction was: "Look, you can obviously trust me, I've known you for 9 years, and I've delivered on every promise to date." Which it turned out, at the time, was true. He was able to get me money wired to me, though I did have a thought that he would wire me from different sources every month, mostly online gold bullion financial services and sorts. I had nothing to complain about.

I was basically, finally taking a long needed life break after 33 years of hard work, and I totally trusted the man. Of course, I was not financially business savvy enough, that everything he told me fascinated me, and in short, I was completely convinced he was one of the smarted and spiritually evolved persons on the plant.

Freddie was the master of excuses for something not delivered as promised. One week delay turns to two, a month, then two or three quarters. Clearly, there was something wrong, starting to nag deep inside me. I was upset that I wasn't being told what was happening with my money in his possession. 2007 came rushing in, and with it, more promises of deal closures on the loan facility, "any day now". After one delay after another, Freddie confesses to me at about March 2007, that he's lost contact with the guy he's doing to do the deal with, this, but with our money wired over, and still in his possession!

By May 2007, it was pretty obvious this guy was avoiding us. Freddie and I decided to confront him in person unannounced, at his office in Florida. From March 2007 or so, I was already getting creeping suspicions of not so much Freddie's character, but if he is going to be able to pull off any of these private placement 'trades' or 'investment' deals so I can at least recoup my 500k loss from the now incarcerated con man from Haiti, Jean Claude.
As Freddie became harder and harder to get a hold of, I started an investigation of my own, and was able to find a former business partner of the criminal Jean Claude. The Frenchman was reluctant to speak with us or his association with our wire and his former partner now a disappearing character in Florida.

The Biggest Shatter

As luck would have it, the night I arrived in Florida to meet Freddie, we get news from the former business partner that, in fact, Jean Claude had just been arrested in a sting operation by the FBI and was incarcerated for Federal RICO (Racketeering) charges, along with a long list of other financially related crimes. I told Freddie, "Dude, this guy's in jail, and he's got our money or his wife's got our money," I kept driving into him that, "we need to contact the FBI right now! And let them know we were victims of financial fraud!" I imagine the reader will not be surprised that this incident will be told in more detail as the story unfolds.

How I was so hood winked with no inkling in a billion, that Freddie had by now put the foundations in place so that I would take the fall for all of his deception and thievery. I cannot fathom at this point, how it was that he could so coldly and cruelly lie with not only his voice but with his mind, body, and soul? To completely destroy my foundations of adult friendship trust, any hopes of a future, or a family before I turn 40.

What I miscalculated, as close friendship, was that his psychological penetration was so deeply ingrained in me at this point, that all it utterly made me want, and soon, desperately in fact, needed to believe, was that Freddie was still my friend and believed in only good in him. That he was working to get our lost money back. Only 12 months into my so-called sabbatical from life, I was starting to live in fear, that it may be possible that this man, however much I trusted him, may not be able to restore our financial losses.

What he had in store, was only just the beginning of my descent into an untold netherworld of unfathomable lies, deceits, backstabbings, all on the road to the sign that pointed "Hell"....

Spiritual Bliss

2011-10-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

It was the night before my 90-day hand over period would be over for selling my web consulting business. It was May 4th, 2006. The very next morning, I shut off my email address for good, and with a friend, took a road trip that morning, from California to New Mexico, to experience my first true freedom and see the White Sand Dunes and Carlsbad Caverns.

My friend noted to me, "hey, it's Mexican Independence Day, Cinco de Mayo!" I remember while driving in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico, I stood up in my car and hollered at the top of my lungs, "I am Free!". I still remember how that first day felt. It was the experience of all perceived stresses, worries or personal responsibilities lifted from one's life all at once. No more nagging clients, (keeping me working till my last night), No politics and associate asses at some company I worked for, just completely financially independent, as in now I had enough saved, that it would be possible to carefully start living off its monthly and compounded returns were I clever and patient enough.

During that year, I ended up making my first two visits to Thailand, a country I have learned to love, and Japan my country of birth, as well as Hermosillo, Mexico, a beautiful Spanish Colonial city. Everywhere I was, I felt like I was on top of the world. That I would take a well deserved break now, for a few months, and I can still live the same lifestyle if I wished to return home.

During this period, I was possibly the healthiest I have ever been. At one point, 2006-2007, I would run 7.5 miles in 1 hour on the treadmill. Though I did have concerns as it was always hard to get a hold of my investor friend, I trusted my savvy friend, and continued to enjoy my free time. It was like a summer vacation for adults, like taking a whole year off in college, a federal witness protection program, or something akin to a whole new experience that brings a "tabla rasa", a complete reset of one's life.

My American dream was finally coming true after 3 decades, and was the happiest person in the world. If I just let my profits roll over each month, within a year, I would have enough to put a down payment for a retirement home for my parents in Orange County, and start a family of my own separate from them. At about this time, I started a daily ritual of prayers of gratitude for the blessings I seemingly received.

My investor friend, Freddie, then called me one fateful day in Sept with a sudden deal that was the real deal: "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". This alpha decision, relying only on personal trust without any business experience prior, would soon prove to be my Achilles heel for this hitherto materially possessed ego, a too trusting, gullible, unsuspecting fool.

The Beginning

2011-10-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

It started as a picturesque, post-dotcom, web programming consulting business, working out of my living room desk in Orange County, CA. I had just finished a 3 year job stint at a local dotcom startup, and unexpectedly started picking up projects and jobs a month after I left the company. Four years later, I was able to sell my business, along with a 4 bedroom home purchased a year earlier, and was about to take a few months off life sabbatical. I couldn't wait to feel completely Responsibility-Free, and have all the time in the world to pursue whatever it was I felt passionate about.

It was February 2006, and a friend I knew from an online new-age metaphysics mailing list called Confederation of Light; someone that by that time, I had traveled with, attended events with, and gone soul searching with; by then, a person I considered a close friend of almost 10 years, offered to invest some of my new found savings, while I was on my time off. He promised me that I would have income from my savings each month and that he can get me 5% or more return every month consistently, using his high profit currency trading 'technology'.

I was completely taken in by his sophistication in his knowledge about the Federal Reserve and the Occult, how fiat money became legal tender in the bankrupt U.S.A. corporation, and so forth. My very first investment was wiring him $20,000 USD as a trial to see how he performs. Sure enough, the money I wired in Feb was by March, producing a $2000 profit from my principal! From there, it started to give me consistent income every month. I started putting more and more of my own and my family's life savings into his 'currency trading' investment.

I felt like I was on top of the world at age 33; I would be able to start living on investment money returns, and take some time to travel, fall in love, and if lucky, start a family. I felt my hard work and prayers were finally answered. Little did I know, so blinded by natural euphoria and total trust, what lurked around the corner for me for the next several years right out of Dante's hell....