The Obscure Optimist

if there were no dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 27 Mar 2023 09:38:00 +0000

if there were no dreams

the permanence would slowly take over

and the little escapes into the terrain of subconscious existence

would deliquesce.

the nights would have no meaning and the eyes would not rest

there shall be no solace, no yearning for the quest!

the sojourn shall halt and there shall be no night -

the nights that would otherwise bring together the different worlds,

sit by the horizon and sew the distance between the sky and the earth

and there wouldn't be lovers

who would yearn to seek their love in their dreams!

if there were no dreams,

there would be no expressions

the lit up mind wouldn't comprehend

the ecstasies of the languid nights!

alas! there would be no poetry!

if there'd be no dreams!

for poets who sleepwalk and catch fireflies

who would they possibly transpire in a state of wakefulness?

there would be no explanation for the idiosyncrasies!

if there were no dreams!

Lockdown Day 8 - Chaos and Clairvoyance!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 16:36:00 +0000

Picture Courtesy : Google Images

This slumber is a silent time for a lot of chaos to surface. At least for me it is so.

Despite this very appropriate break that we’ve got, to unwind and relax, the body and mind has been giving in to a lot of hidden pains and chaos that was settled deep within but now is causing an imprudent unsettlement. One may think so! The feeling is inexplicable.

This restlessness is also a part of the journey and it is very important to get out of this phase with more clarity if not anything else.

Restlessness and obscurity surfaces when we have been trying to contemplate or introspect. I think, whether we try or not, we are eventually doing it during this time.

There are dreams, vivid or blurred, doesn’t matter, but they are all trying to tell us something.

I had revelations at many levels - during meditation sessions, introspective sessions while reading randomly on internet or books. The clarity isn’t there yet, because these are life altering topics. I have been delving upon them, nonetheless. On the other side of it all I am very sure that there will be a clear direction at least.

Whenever I am down and under and there is no lucidity, I try to pick up the intuitions, and when they haven’t been really strong enough, I do seek guidance. The guidance comes in very many forms if you are open!

Some read through the angel numbers, or talk to clairvoyants or read messages in many different ways.

Social media has made me appreciate and understand that there are so many people all over the world who believe in vibrations, signs and messages too. There is a reason why psychics and clairvoyants exist and they are not really given the due credits they deserve. Every one is struggling, everyone needs a breakthrough, but most of us are closed to the vibrations and messages that keep coming up, and we refuse to take the lesson or guidance!

This is one such time – this chaos, this silence, this period of isolation. If we can just stop all that we have been doing all these days, all these years and slightly bring a shift in the way we have been perceiving things, and open up to a possibility to what the universe is trying to tell, believe me we call could lead our lives out of the pandemonium that distracts us every now and then!

Until we get there, let us make use of all the light-workers who do relentless work for the humanity and play along until they all take us through these times of trial and vagueness.

Lockdown Day 7 - Pen Pal

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 01 Apr 2020 13:57:00 +0000

Picture Courtesy : Diba

You know my old address,

But I have moved now!

Bring me all those letters that you've written to me

Telling me you were coping

And how?

You’d say that the distances would melt into nothingness!

Take me to the old town of Bombay

Infamous for small flirtatious encounters

Like you’d say!

Tell me about the fancy men,

Who’d befriend you, during the day!

Where promises to build careers and life

Were written on rocks

and sands,

Washed away, inattentively,

As if God’s command!

The beguiling beauty of the roads,

You captured all of them in your letters

And how?

You’ve sent all sweet kisses to an old address

But I’ve moved now!

***

Ever had a pen pal? There was once an exchange of addresses in our school and we made pen pals! There were no phones, no emails, and it was the 90s. I had a pen pal, and I may have written a few letters to him/her!

The anticipation of receiving the letter from the other end, always used to make me imagine the unimaginable! Without knowing who the other person and from what part of the world, opening up to someone who’s an absolute stranger was indeed scary. As a 12-13-year-old, I did it anyway. I perhaps, found a friend in someone whom I’d never meet or see ever!

Time passed, and the letters stopped! I don’t quite remember what we shared over letters!

But to the pen pal, long lost, if you are still sending letters to a place I don’t belong to anymore! I hope you get the metaphor!

Lockdown Day 6 - Summer Break!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 01 Apr 2020 04:41:00 +0000

Some days pass by so quickly, despite being isolated at home. And some days struggle as if there is never going to be an end!

There are some days when I yearn for the childhood / school days to come back. The carefree ones, when April time meant examinations; awaiting summer holidays with all earnestness. It meant making merry plans to visit places – grandparents’, or sitting back home and enjoying with friends.

Voila! I have it now! Alas, I can’t travel anywhere! One because, it is restricted and more so because my beloved Grandparents are not around anymore. This keeps bringing me back to reality - the childhood days are never coming back!

That’s why they say, be very careful about what you wish for, you never know it may come true.

Right now, I am indeed enjoying my summer holidays. Exams were, in a way, a few deliverables that I slogged to send, once I was done with that, I indeed retreated to some good shows on Netflix and some books that were laying for far too long on the shelves.

April is one of my favorite months for obvious reason – my birth month! The power of Aries, and planetary influence of Mars perhaps brings the best out in me. It may not be evident, but I feel the happiest during this time, and co-incidentally it’s the onset of summer (holidays)! Hence, it feels merrier.

As I write this, I am trying to remember all the things I did as a kid, during summer holidays! My mother would insist on being creative during these times, and would enrol us in various classes. I remember joining speaking classes, writing classes and discovering my true love for words, poetry and literature during the summer holidays. I also tried hand at artsy stuff like drawing, painting but that never was my calling. My sister did great at it though!

Summer usually is a time that brings us closer to our true self, I feel. We have had the most leisure during this time and have played our favorite sports, picked up our favorite hobbies, and developed skills that defined us, more than the school curriculum ever did!

It’s summer (holidays) again!

It’s time to rewind and bring back the interests that once enticed us, for which we’d wait one whole year and pursue it with utmost devotion. I cannot say that this time will come over and over again, I pray this situation never occurs again, however, a summer break can always happen for us!

Though forced, this break has really taken me back to the times when I knew and did things that were apart from the routine – where there wasn’t an existential crisis and life had meaning.

Sad, how nature is asking us to do things that were lost in time! It should have been our very own prerogative to do what satisfies our soul!

I am doing just that and intend to keep doing it, until the routine goes!

Be it a summer break, or a winter break; our individual selves need nourishment, and by no means, a vacation with posts on social media shall serve that!

Go back to doing what you loved to do the most in your summer holidays, as a kid!

And we’ll talk about it, in our next break!

Lockdown Day 5 - Forgive, but don't forget!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 30 Mar 2020 12:58:00 +0000

I went on a random word generator app, and the words that came were these:

It possibly is a great co-incidence that I was thinking of a saga that went on for years together with a friend-turned-into-a-stranger, wondering when was the hatchet actually buried? Did I end it or did he?

Or did the episode eventually die, creating a vacuum, sucking in all the anger and disappointment, slowly turning me into someone who cared less!

Did we actually end up becoming good friends again? Was there ever a possibility of going back to what we were before? No! I don’t think so.

We may have spoken again on many occasions but things never went back to the way they were!

It will take a fiction-attack for me to write the story down, because I can’t really narrate it in first person all that happened! It would be a tough attack on the other person, and one-sided stories are, as you know, biased! I don’t want to be the person who does that! So, we stick to the lessons!

The millennial saying that’s been doing rounds lately is “I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received”.

Woke as it may sound, but we all seek peace. Lately we are actively seeking it. But this has been the human conquest since the very beginning and man has been doing innumerable things to achieve this.

One may say, that humans yearn for happiness, sure! Happiness is the result of peace! When you have no worry about the past and no anxiety about the future, you are pretty sorted. The worries of past majorly consist for 3 things – Regret, Guilt and Hurt!

It is absolutely important to resolve these two before you start living in the present!

The secret to this, forgiveness! There are only two way out of these two emotions –

Either forgive the other person who’s hurt you, or forgive yourself, and let go of the regret and guilt!

I will speak for myself here!

For years, I have lived with hurt and regrets! Triggers would come in many ways and tickle the wound, sometimes, it would open it so wide, that it would take me back to the time when it was fresh! It would be harrowing!!

I would do numerous things to temporarily, seal the wound – or numb it!

Numbing it would give me a brief period of pleasure and forgetfulness – most of you may know or relate to this feeling as intoxication. The feeling of pain would surely subside, but the wound would remain.

Intoxication is has myriad dimensions. I am not talking about substance abuse here (or perhaps that too!), but one may adhere to extreme measures to forget the pain. I did too. I got busier than usual and did not allow my mind to wander where it would go and get hurt again!

But how long would have that helped? Only so much!

Finally, I realized, I didn’t have to numb the pain anymore. I had to heal it! Only then I would be able to face the triggers more gracefully!

And so I decided to forgive!

I decided to forgive the other person for being insensitive. I forgave myself for expecting too much. I forgave the other person for defaming me. I forgave myself for not believing in myself enough. I forgave the other person for breaking my friendships, I forgave myself for choosing wrong people. I forgave the other person for saying spiteful things to me. I forgave myself for not drawing the boundaries in closest of relationships and friendship!

Forgiveness is not a one-time job. Sure, it begins with the first time, which is the hardest, and then you keep doing it over and over again until it stops bothering you. You then know that you have healed the wound and the triggers are just passing winds! Because you have learnt what life had to teach!

Another very precious quote goes like this “You chose your lessons, not the teacher!”.

And so the soul takes you on journeys that are hurtful, expeditious and finally worth living! Learning these beautiful lessons through other people is what life is all about. One cannot exist alone, so we co-exist. We may hurt each other, but we do have the most powerful tool to heal - Forgiveness!

I was once told - You needn't learn lessons through anger, hurt or fear! They can be learnt through love too! And believe me, that is the best way!

Forgiveness isn’t just a fancy word – it is an elixir to all dying souls, who have not felt love and vigor in a while – if you are one of them – try it!

Forgive, but don’t forget the lesson!

Lockdown day 4 - Introspection during Isolation

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Sat, 28 Mar 2020 14:52:00 +0000

Isolation is hard. There are so many things that have been sporadic in our list of priorities. We'd pick things up on a patch-fix basis, and not address the most important ones despite knowing the severity!

I am sure we have had a list of things we wanted to do or achieve, or become and never found the time to do so. There are basic things, like cleaning up, which probably was pending since years, has finally found attention of people. I see people exercising - ones who have never had time to do it more diligently before. I see people reading out poems on their IGTV, and sharing beautiful thoughts on their social media.

I see people doing math equations, quizzes and puzzles and sharing them on whatsapp. The mind is being put to work!

People are basically thinking what more to do than what they have always been doing. Especially now when there is nothing to do, nowhere to be.

How beautiful, right?!

I have been binge watching a few series on Netflix. I finished You, and Stranger things - All seasons and now life has come to a standstill. You know how it is, right? I want to watch more series, but there is nothing that can match the rush and excitement that these two series gave me. I guess now it's time to move on to another genre!

The content consumption for me has indeed been drastic. For years, I've had no time to watch the so-called netflix hits, series that were acclaimed. I was always lagging and wouldn't match the consumption speed of people around me. Just because, a good night's sleep after a tired day at work seemed less ludicrous, and more exciting, I would give up on series and prefer sleeping instead!

It's like, when you've been hungry for days, and you find food, you gobble up only to realise that your appetite is only so much! Then you go without food for another few days and find what really suits your gut.

Same is the case when we feed our minds with things. We have been in a rut, or a routine, whatever you want to call it, since years now. A break to it, has given us an opportunity to delve into all possibility our mind thinks we've missed. So we try to exercise, cook, put posts on social media, try to read, watch series, sing, dance, clean, and eventually reach a dead end, because it isn't giving you the feeling you hoped for!

You want to do things, but it's not really enjoyable! Have you felt this?

It takes a while to break patterns and develop new ones! If you have been observant enough, you will know what is working for you and what isn't. If you need physical rest, give your body all of it. If you need a mental break, take a break and rejuvenate, healthily. IF you need an emotional detox - dissociate from people who cause emotional distress. This isn't a competition. you don't have to do it all during this quarantine time .You can choose to heal, rest, and treat your body, heart and mind they way you want!

Isolation is a great time to do all of it.

And when you have healed, sealed all the gaps, take on the things that you always wanted to do with renewed energy and head-space! You may think this is a long quarantine!! But believe me, it isn't. Time is too less, and if you see and think about all that you always wanted to do, the days are passing by way too quickly.

Rejuvenate your body mind and soul, and find the purpose, which has been long forgotten!

Try it!! The other side of all this, will be golden!!!

Lockdown Day 3 ~ The Mind is a Cage!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:45:00 +0000

It's a dumb post! Really. You can skip it if you want!

I am jotting it down just for the heck of it. Today is day 3 of the lockdown and I had to step out of the house for some essentials. I went out on Day 1 too, but that was panic calling in and I had to stock up. The other day the roads were awfully quiet and it felt eerie and lonely outside.

It was a very stressful outing. I also was supposed to carry some stuff for my neighbours who couldn’t go out. During this outing, I realised, what a cage we live in. The cage obviously is the mind! My panic and anxiety peaked. I am usually not the one who stresses out so easily. I have a pretty good control over any situation until it really goes overboard. This was perhaps one of those situations.

I remember my grandfather telling me the stories of war. How it used to be during the British time, or during the China war and how during a curfew getting basic necessity was a big deal. They survived through it all. As a generation we are surely better than our grandparents - most of us I assume!

We have bigger houses to live in, food stocked up, and most important we have phone and internet with which we can get in touch with our families who are also isolated in another part of the country!

This time, the trains and basic transportation services were also stopped - this is for the first time in history - imagine the gravity of the situation! And we thought our grandparents have seen it all! And it’s all good for us now!

Nope!

Today the roads had some people going around for groceries too - rather too freely. Was I one of them I wondered. My want probably is a need for someone else at the moment! Do you know, how we go out and buy two things extra anticipating that we will use it when the time comes!

Do you have those multi color mugs, plates and spoons? Or multi flavoured biscuits, oats and noodles?

Or a variety of fruits?

Believe me, I have hoarded all of these too, not just during this time of lockdown, but all the time. Despite giving minimalism a priority, an inherent human tendency to hoard, always stays! It is a fight for survival, after all! Whose survival now though?

It startles me, how we become family oriented - thinking about a select few, when there are so many out there, walking hundreds of kilometres back home! They are a family too. Could we do something for them? Are we already doing?

If I were in their place, what kind of anxiety would I have? I could even pass out or die given that situation of homelessness, hunger, water depravity and only way of reaching home is to - walk!

It makes no sense to have anxiety, sitting an apartment, with groceries stocked up!

IT IS ALL IN THE MIND!

The mind is the cage and one needs to set everything in it free.. Breathe freely, and be beyond the doubts of "What if".

I know one fact for sure - Nature made us, and for sure she will take care! Either she will provide, or teach a lesson!

It's up to us to be grateful in all that she has to offer and learn whatever the lesson is …. Or misuse and -stay dumb!

There is a lot of depth and lot of layers in whatever is happening!! Set the mind free, you will see it. Believe me~!!

Lockdown Day 2 - Where are you Summer?

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Thu, 26 Mar 2020 06:25:00 +0000

Picture Courtesy : Diba

Oh! Sweet Summer

You are as late as my lover,

Who promised to come with warmth of distant lands

And a little sea.

He said he would bring the silences of the woods

And some mystery

Long so long, just like you, Summer,

The sky's been shrouded for far too long

And The clouds are

in a constant uproar!

I can't tolerate the unforgiving wind

The sea can't stay put on the shore

Hopes rising

And falling

Just like tides

The waves, were locked down

For far too long!

The spell has changed the lunar moods

Can't tell, If we all can play along!

Bit by bit,

like the day crumbling into

The dungeons of night

We are touching

what's the trough of it all

A gentle wish, to rise to the crest

To stay afloat, on the other side

After this mighty, mighty Fall!

***

It has been raining, hasn't it?

What is like in your part of the world? I am not sure what season it's supposed to be right now, but after years of following a certain pattern, I know that this time of the year is Summer! At least the starting of it, if not the peak!

But there are no signs of it. A few days back, when it started to feel a little warm, I was a tad relaxed, thinking how this will weaken the virus. They say it doesn't exist beyond 27-30 Deg C. But the temperatures have been dropping and though the idea of summers being cool is welcoming, we want this summer to hit its peak as soon as possible.

What does humidity do to you? Irritate you? Make you comfortable? What is it?

It's like a bad mixture of two potions. You don't get to taste either blissfully! But one good thing about whatever season / weather the nature has been throwing at us, is the colors in the sky!

I am eternally in love with the colors of the sky! I love taking pictures of the vast azure, I love deciphering how nature speaks to us in different shades. I sometimes feel, I am the sky, expanded infinitely, encompassing all that is, and sometimes, it feels like a mere illusion. You know it's there, but it isn't. Sometimes, like my own existence!

Lockdown Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 12:48:00 +0000

Amidst all that is happening, I thought, i might as well, journal all that is happening during the times of covid-19.

This is day-5 of isolation for me. From what I see on social media and internet, I know that some people have been indoors for longer than that. It really hit me, when the maids were refused entry in our society. That is how dependent we are on external factors.

Organically my diet reduced to what was ''essential" for survival as compared to treating oneself as a perk for working hard all through the day. Obviously what followed was also cleaning up after meals and maintaining the house. It had been a long time since I did it all on my own.

I am sure many would be blogging about what they are doing during this lockdown, but I would like to highlight, how wonderfully my affirmations are manifesting.

During the start of 2020, I picked two words for the year - Consistency and Discipline. Both in the same order and sense. None higher than the other. This was regarding all that I wanted to do in my life but had missed for very many reasons - Writing being one of them! I had fortunately become consistent with writing lately, of course medium being Instagram or just little musings in my diary.

The idea was to be consistent with one post per day, even if it wasn't publishable. While looking back, and turning the pages of my diary, I noted, that I had indeed made a commitment of being regular on the blog too. But that never happened. It has been ages since I took my writing seriously, though that is the only one thing I want to be known by.

Silly and strange how things become.

I had gotten way to busy, in my professional life that I barely found time to feed my interests some time and energy. Finally this lock-down pushed me to do it.

I wish I could have started jotting down a true account of my isolation right from my Day 1, but better late than never!

Day 5 is not too bad, considering the government extended the lock-down to 21 days starting 24th March Midnight.

Also, one of the more interesting things is that - This is the period of Aries (the sun-sign). And I love this time of the year. I hope this bring revelations to all of us, great health, cheer and realizations.

Bear with me, as I mend my blog posts, become more consistent with the format and gradually bring in the much needed discipline in publishing it online.

After all, in the times of social media, the beauty of journaling, never fades!

How are you keeping up with the lock-down?

Writer's Un-block!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 06:39:00 +0000

Courtesy : @Obscureoptimist

Probably one of the finest discussions I've ever had is how does a writer's block undo itself?
It doesn't. Or in a way it does. It's very organic in nature
It slowly creates such a huge vacuum - the absence and lack of words. Then the vacuum keeps expanding and that territory is an absolute new for you. You want to think that you've known it, because it exists inside of you, but you don't

Slowly it creates a restlessness and the need to express arises. This need is precisely from that vacuum and nothing else

And one fine day, at a certain place, time, with a paper and pen you start scribbling, making doodles, in the delusion that you've been in a writer's block for while and nothing will really make you pour your heart out. .
But a strong urge pushes you to word everything down

And knowingly or unknowingly your breakup with words seems reach a climax and the love flows effortlessly

This effortlessness is a place of sheer peace and knowing of oneself

That's when true expressions begin

And the writer's block goes away with the wind!
On. Its. Own!

The Kakeibo - The Japanese Art of Saving Money

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 15:05:00 +0000

This decade began on a really great note!
I came across this book called The Kakeibo which is the Japanese art of saving money and 2 months down, I do see some discipline in my spending.
It suggests asking these 4 very important questions. I wish I knew this before!

Courtesy: Google Images

As Indians, we used to be very very good at saving money and hence growing them into bigger funds.
Look at what our moms did?
The monthly expenses would also accommodate kitties and savings and thereby the housewives would also successfully end up saving real good money by the end of every month.
Women are therefore known to be great managers. They know the art of minimalism, and running the household lavishly in a middle house income, was a cakewalk!
Our generation, sure lacks this skill. The savings are almost nil and expenses are over the roof. The credit card bills are a pain and the unending loan EMIs leave us with nothing by the 10th of every month. Further, until the end of the month, it sure is a struggle.
I am sure we all are in a similar situation if not same.
Planning Expenses, investments and savings is a skill.

Warren Buffet has quoted :
Do not save what is left after spending; instead spend what is left after saving.

And to follow this one principle, I picked up this book. Kakeibo has really helped me visualize!
Visualization is the first step of achieving something. We have a habit of swiping our cards left right center, losing track of what we spend.
The secret of saving money is to break the month up into weeks and plan for a single week at a time. Further break it into days of the week and plan the days accordingly. This visualization, at the start of month / week is really really helpful.
This exercise has gotten me on a great start to the year and i hope I improve my saving habits.
I highly recommend this book / saving journal to all. I'll revisit this review by the end of 2020 and have an update!
You must invest in this book to begin with, and once it becomes a habit, you can maintain your own ledger
I wish and hope a very happy saving and wonderful plans thereafter~!
Rating : 4/5

Kids these days!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Fri, 04 Oct 2019 02:12:00 +0000

In utter disbelief, I gawked at the video screen when my sister told me a conversation that she and her 2.5 year old had at the doctors.

Doc to Kabir : Hi, What is your name?

Kabir: Kabir. I am a good boy.

Doc : Great. How's Life?

Kabir: Life is dangerous!

Oh so true!

It indeed is. Just that he mistook Life for Knife and said how you'd get hurt and how Life is dangerous. In silly repartee, most profound truths come out. This was one such truth.

I wonder what is happening at consciousness level, that is producing this magnificent generation of kids who can actually converse at the age of 2. Mind you, these conversations are not just any conversations, but have a depth, that you may normally ignore, citing the age, but if you really indulge, you'd know the immense depth they carry.

So Kabir loves talking to his Ammamma (Naani/Grandmother) and he usually prefers talking to her over me. So, my sister asked him if he disliked me? He did not say he did, all he said was, he wanted to talk to Ammamma. She insisted again, but never did he accept that he did not like me.

There is no concept of dislike in the dictionary of a 2 year old, wrt people. They just prefer one thing or one person more than the others.

The concept of dislike is introduced by adults, who, over a period of time have developed a few. There is nothing to dislike, per se, sure - one can have preferences.

There is so much to learn from kids.

I imagine, sometimes, what the world would be if it were run by kids. Kids making big decisions of war and budget - there'd be none. They would trade their legos for food, and games for milk. Their actions would be backed by love alone. No political correctness, and no greed, nothing. Sheer barter system.

The world needs innocence and purity. The world needs sheer love and I am sure, it will be what it is meant to be!

Kids these days - should retain this innocence when they grow up too! Mankind has bright chances of surviving, this way!

There are so many stories, worth telling, since I have so many wonderful kids around me, but, one at a time!

Book Review - The Tattooist of Auschwitz

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 07:40:00 +0000

Before I jump on to the book review, here are some facts about the Birkenau Concentration Camp, Auschwitz.

1. The Birkenau camp was the largest of the more than 40 camps and sub-camps

2. The Auschwitz camp consisted of 28 blocks. Most of them were residential buildings for prisoners. The blocks were intended for about 700 prisoners, however, their number reached even 1,200. In the second part of the camp – Birkenau – there were two types of barracks for prisoners: brick and wooden. Each of them lacked sanitary facilities, lights, and heating.

3. Prisoners had to undress before bathing in their barracks and – regardless of weather conditions – go naked to the bathhouse. For many prisoners, it ended with illness and death.

4. Jewish prisoners were persecuted during the procedure of admission to the camp. Authorities treated Jews most ruthlessly, often with sophisticated cruelty. According to SS the value of their life was the lowest. All of them became victims of hunger, cold, work beyond strength and constant abuse or died in gas chambers.

5. There were about 232 000 of children under the age of 18 years deported to the Auschwitz-Birkenau camp.

6. At least 1 million of Jews were killed in Auschwitz

7. A lot of prisoners were used in cruel Joseph Mengele’s pseudo-medical experiments.

Source: https://discovercracow.com/auschwitz-facts/

The book is based on a true love story of Lale and Gita (Ludwig Eisenberg and Gisela Furman), who survived the horrific time at the Birkenau Concentration Camp. This book doesn't necessarily represent the dark truth of the concentration camps unbeknownst to the humans of 21st century, but it beautifully, does take us through the pain and sufferings of two hearts who found love amidst pain and torment.

Why should you read this book:

1. If you haven't read any book based on WW2, this is one of the books you should begin with.

2. It's a love story!

3. The writer beautifully takes us through the bunks, blocks, buildings of the camps with each character strongly exhibiting grit and strength. This is a book that will instill your dying hope in humanity!

4. World history is very underrated. You must read first hand stories and not what is only written in text books!

5. You will appreciate everything you have in life! This story must be shared, told, heard and read!

Why shouldn't you read this book:

1. This is not one of the best reads, in the genre of Holocaust fiction books. Sure there have been better.

2. This book was written for a movie, I guess, so the flow of the story is a tad flawed, but the bright side is, it is very easily imaginable and easy to read

3. If you are not a fan of love stories don't pick this up!

4. If you want to stay in denial about WW2 and the holocaust, you can give this a miss!

5. There was definitely a lot that could've been there in the book. It could have been more inclusive. You feel the need to know more about other characters!

But this was about Lale (32407) and Gita and you end up falling in love with their personalities!

Read it anyway! :)

Lale - Tattoo # 32407

Rating this book - 4 stars out of 5

Thank you Sarvesh for recommending this one!! :)

The Year that Was - 2018

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 08:24:00 +0000

2018 has been a year of ups and downs. There have been times when I thought - 'life's over and I cannot keep going on anymore'. And then there have been times, when I thought, 'hmm...not so bad!'

One thing that I learnt in 2018 was - to never give up! When 2018 dawned, I had chosen a word for the year - Resonance!

I stuck by it, and only tried to do things, or be with people with whom I resonated!
Mind you, the word did not pop up on it''s own! It was this message, that I kept seeing on Instagram for a number of times, and I decided to hold on to the sign!

Going by that, here are some of the "tops" of 2018!

Top 5 moments of 2018:
1. Meeting my nephew and nieces - Sheer Joy!
2. Chance to be a part of Heartfulness movement, day after day!
3. Meeting my Best Friend after 2 years!
4. Family Reunion!
5. Baby news - from BFFs!

Top 5 "Firsts" of 2018:
1. My First House!
2. My First long drive in my new car!
3. My First time watching a Live Cricket Match!
4. My First time making Sizzlers!
5. My First time with Keto Diet! - Meh! :/

Top 5 things I "Learnt (Skillwise)" in 2018:
1. Self-Love
2. Anger/Mood Management
3. Technical Skills
4. Guitar - Still a long way to go
5. Meditation/Introspection Techniques

Now coming to the Not-so-Good parts of 2018

Top 5 "No-so-good" things that happened:

1. Physical Health - took a toll! 2019 - Will be the year of transformation!
2. Mental Health - breakdowns and anxiety did not leave me. I managed to live with it, thanks to sincere Meditation and Inner Connect! I have had trust issues, and they continued this year! I cannot easily place my trust in anyone!
3. Though, I learnt really well to manage my anger, but there were times, when the gush of emotions, the heat would consume me! I was thankfully, able to manage it!
4. I did not do well, work wise, hence money wise.
5. My center of attention was always something/someone apart from me.
(Though, Self-Love was a constant struggle, I did try to draw my attention to the more important things, than other people and other distractions. Late last year, I did a 21 days stint to inculcate a habit and it worked well!)

Top 5 "Lessons from mistakes" of 2019:

1. Don't take your health for granted!
2. Be smarter, when it comes to money!
3. Have goals - short and long term and work towards it!
Can you imagine, I did not have any goals this year - personal/nor professional! I completely missed the point of self-improvement, while trying to manage other weak points of my life
4. BREATHE. Properly. It helps - so so much!
5. Gratitude! No matter what happened, I learnt to accept and be thankful for it. This made things a little easier!

Philosophical Achievement - I understood the meaning of Killat (Less Money), Illat (Ill-Health), Zillat (Criticism) in true terms, and I am so thankful, the experiences in 2018 taught me humility in true terms.

The word/phrase of 2019 is - "Let Go" (Of Inhibitions and blockages which have been holding me back for so so long!). "The Art of Life is "Letting Go" - (read this on instagram again!)

May 2019 be a year of learning/yearning and earning - good health, wealth and peace for one and all!

Happy New Year!

*clink*

Where I want to be!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 08:57:00 +0000

Where your fingers get entangled in mine
Where your head rests on my shoulder
Where your breath caresses my skin
While you slowly fall asleep...
That's where I want to be..

Where your tiny toes tickle my tummy
Where your hair kisses my cheeks
Where your smile converges into mine
While you look for me...
That's where I want to be..

When nights turn into day
Listening to your stories
Where sun-rays are warmth
Like you holding me..
That's where I want to be..

Maya

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 07:18:00 +0000

Maya!!

No.. She's not an illusion. None at all.

But, the idea that you can own her, sure is.

She is like a firefly. She'll light up into a flame and attract you. And you'd catch her, perhaps. But don't think she'll glow at your whim. She owns her spark and you can never grab it.

Not between your lips, or fingers or palms.

You may wonder, why doesn't she talk; and sometimes she's full of stories. It is annoying, intriguing, senseless. All at the same time...

She wants more and more of everything on certain days and on some days she is as benevolent as the grace of God - so giving!

She can let go easily and not ponder over things that tear you apart.

She'll instead whine over trivial matters.

She'll hold you when you are weakest and not hold you at all when you are worse. Not because she cares less.

It's because she needs to hold her self together.

A broken hook cannot hold a mantle.

She breaks and remains broken.
Until she's ready to be whole again. Sometimes, she tries to make things alright.

She tries to proves that she's done it before, but most of the times she's just gotten accustomed.

Most of the times, she remains who she is. And you should let her be.

She may be a mystery, but she's real. Don't make her a figment of your imagination. She's not an illusion. She's a real person.

But let go of your ideas about her. Those are illusions- Dangerous ones!!!

Zuri

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Tue, 28 Nov 2017 06:10:00 +0000

Zuri,

Envy. Envy is bad. But it is genuine.

You know what's better than envy - hate.

Because there is no dilution in that emotion. And you, my love, feel that you are far from love because of the milligrams of hate you harness in tiny corners of your heart. Every human does!

I know he left you crying. I know your friends don't get you. You have no friends whatsoever, but you exist. And believe me, if you exist with a little love, life would be so different.

Do you believe in magic? Do you want to see it?

Love people despite the hurt and see what happens to their eyes.

Dance and tell. Write and tell. Sing and tell. But, express. I know you can't. The hurt is too overpowering. You believe that no one deserves your grace.

But you do, sweetheart!!

In loving others you will discover yourself again. Forgive the annoying little habits of people. Forgive all those who have taken joy away from you. Forgive those who have betrayed and those who have left you because of your incompleteness.

It's difficult to complete others when they are not complete themselves.

You are.

Forgive yourself and love.

Love like you are a magician, born to turn every wailing face into a smiling one. Let the spark in you ignite one more time and pass on your light to the people around you. Enough of this hate.

When you keep love to yourself, it never grows. So is the case with hurt.

Stop wherever you are and breathe.

Live the moment and feel the love.

You are now the light bearer, Zuri. You don't know it. Don't pretend that you are cold with remorse, whereas you are an entity of love. Go forth and be yourself.

You are not enveloped by sadness or pessimism, they are just illusions.

Love oozes out of cracks and you are full of them.

Let it flow, like a stream, a never ending stream and let all those who've let you down know, that you have gotten back up and forgiven them.

There is nothing more powerful than forgiveness.

Let go.

Ray-n

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Fri, 24 Nov 2017 12:14:00 +0000

Rayn,

How you burst into fits of laughter while tears trickle down your cheeks.
Your lashes hug each other like they were separated for ages - insomniac, dreaming with eyes wide open!

You hide your face as if the monsoons are hitting you hard, but my love, you are Rayn!

Pour down, like an endless drizzle, or a thunderstorm and laugh your heart out. Do not hide the freckles that redden up or your crooked teeth that twist your lips.

Don't bother about how you look.

You are beautiful, you needn't look so. Because you already ARE.

Live like you will never live again and embrace the tiny bits of happiness that come your way, even when you are picking up broken pieces of yourself.

There is wit and humor all around. You have a lot within you, let the happiness pour out and hold that sadness in your palms. Open it and let it go every time you are tempted to laugh.

Let people think you've lost it. Let people question your sanity.
Everyone out there is insane; fighting an unknown battle and crying over it.

But you laugh. Laugh, my dear like you will never laugh again, and let the giggles echo in the hollows of the universe. Let each organism know what it feels like to vibrate in optimism despite sheer agony. Laugh.
And pour down, love. Whenever you want, as much as you want!

My darling, Rayn.

Brontide

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:49:00 +0000

Picture Location: SRCM Retreat Centre, Panshet

The clouds were murmuring in what seemed like a thunder.

The downpour had just shown us a prelude,

Of what lay ahead.

While talking on the phone, people appeared to convey to their loved ones that they will be passing through a storm, perhaps. And they might reach their destinations a tad late.

There seemed to be a tenderness about the communication. Eyes moist, no smiles, as if the silent rustle was warning the humans of an impending doom.

I stood there, looking at nature in its alluring synchronicity, both living and non-living entities reacting to the brontide.

I realized, sometimes, what you hear, see, feel and know, are in different dimensions.

You cannot put them together to make sense out of it. Perhaps a thunder somewhere is actually a rocket taking off from a space station. Or a huge truck unloading rocks on a construction site. The vision gets clouded automatically as the senses start working in tandem leading to a beautiful illusion, or sometimes painful.

But, I have been through many such illusions and I chose to stay still in both calm and storm.

The residuum is a wonderful thing to observe. It's me, left with rasping dichotomy.

And I undo it one by one, learning nature all over again.

The Contrast!

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 10:05:00 +0000

Look at this picture!

Picture Taken in Paris, France, near Notre Dam

What do you see?

The little girl playing merrily with the sparrows? Unmindful, fearless, happy, naive, welcoming!?

Have you done anything like this in your life?
Of course, you must have. We have been carefree, outgoing, not worrying about the repercussions of indulging in little pleasures.

We have played with people, friends, things, animals our parents warned us against. We have climbed roofs and yelled at the top of our voices?

We have been children, enjoying life insouciantly!

What has changed now? Why do we not do this anymore? Societal rules, norms? Fear of being judged? Fear of masks falling off?

What do you think is the old man doing? Can you picture yourself in the place of the old man?

Can you gauge his expressions? What must he be thinking? What could be his life story?

This beautiful contrast depicts two extremes of our life! What we make of it in between is all that matters!!

“If you were a bird, and lived on high,

You'd lean on the wind when the wind came by,

You'd say to the wind when it took you away:

"That's where I wanted to go today!”

― A.A. Milne, When We Were Very Young

Have you ever been on a date with yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 10:32:00 +0000

Try it!

Excerpt from Love in the time of Cholera :

10 Years of Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 14:39:00 +0000

10 years ago, sitting in a plush office, in an IT park, I wished I was someplace else.
Daydreaming creatively found an outlet and I started blogging. A fellow colleague taught me how to get started, and there was no stopping.

From tiny life experiences to poetry attacks, to story writing leading to fictions - you name it and I was on it!

Slowly, like every good thing, the enthusiasm died - but what did not die was the urge to express.

My very own expressmyway.blogspot.com has now turned to a well deserved theobscureoptimist.com.

It was high time, I gave the place it deserved. I wanted to start a brand new blog, I have done it a couple of times, but I did not know where to archive the older posts.

So, I carried them with me, to this new space too!

Most of you, have read, lived this blog with me for years, and now I hope for you to tag along in another journey of - regular blogging and expressing - hopefully!

Find me on Social Media!

Facebook Page: The Obscure Optimist

Instagram: obscureoptimist

Happy Reading!

Dalliance

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Wed, 16 Aug 2017 05:47:00 +0000

Midnight, sharp, my cell beeped. I got a message from an unknown number that wished me the most beautiful birthday.

“No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves."

be you! always. Happy birthday!

No, it wasn't my birthday.

Yes, I wished it was.

Because this person on the other end was quoting a Murakami. And he/she had effortlessly used one of his quotes as a birthday wish. Who could possibly be as crazy as I am about an Author of a foreign origin, who writes about dysfunctional humans and cats!

"Sorry. Looks you have the wrong number", I replied.

After waiting for almost an eternity, the cell beeped again.

"Shruti?"

My fingers went over the qwerty in million different patterns.

I managed to type, "No! Wrong number."

An instant response almost ended the conversation.

"Murakami, huh?", I pinged back again, curiosity piling up.

"Seriously?!!", came the response.

"Sorta!", I replied.

"Very Impressive"

"This was perhaps Shruti's earlier number", I pinged resorting to small talk.

"Chance encounters are what keep us going!", the ping came back.

This person was referring to Kafka. That was my favorite read. I wondered if soulmates ever existed.

"No small talks please", the request instantly came in. Rude, I thought!

Our talks didn't limit to Murakami alone. It spanned over my favorite authors and favorite discussions. I had no clue who the person on the other end was. Was it a man, woman, girl, boy, an aged gentleman, a well read retired principal from a school, a librarian, a college student or a doctor? I had no idea at all. I started looking forward to late night chats, discussing books after books, the interpretations, philosophies, how characters came to life in our mundane lives, and how silly quotes from books made utter sense in real world. We lived in parallel universes, entwined in a love affair - unknown, yet very true.

I liked how the fling lasted more than a week. For a month. Almost a year.

"I saved your name as Reiko", I pinged one fine day.

"How about Midori? or Sumire?", came the reply.

I had not imagined a girl to be on the other end discussing books with me all these days. I did not know, suddenly how I felt about it.

"Good choice", I responded, not sounding too surprised about the discovery.

I saved her number with the name as "Sumire", while she called me Miu.

Like an ethereal escape, both of us deluded into our own lives, realizing, how Sputnik Sweetheart must only be a fiction.

Redamancy

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 07:27:00 +0000

Tahira stepped down from the bus and marched her way towards the salon she worked at.

She was usually the first one to reach. While she opened the premises for the days work, she thought of Sam. He was always on her mind. Not because she was in love with him, but he was.

Apparently so.

"Let's get married", he had proposed. Sort of.

She did not feel the tingling sensation, while things were progressing to the next level.

Did she always want this - yes!

Did she want this at that moment - no, perhaps.

How life ambitions and desires vary when you compare it with respect to time...

What you want forever vs what you want now?

"Yayy", she remembered, reacting to it. Half heartedly.

"I love you", he said, the meaningless sentence stabbed right through her heart.

She loved. Not that she didn't. She loved, deeply - an idea, a someone, who did not exist. It was always in her head. This person, or love, or the idea of it. She couldn't put it down in words what exactly that yearning felt like.

Sam came in like a breath of fresh air and became a habit. Nothing else.

As she started setting up the primary counter of the salon, Rinku, her pet cat - a daily visitor came in. Today, it was something different. She spotted a chair stealthily climbed up on it, and started licking herself.

The chair gave way to a great view - the mirror.

She felt a sense of deja-vu and thought of calling Sam and talking to him about how she thinks cats are souls who guard you.

"Sam, remember what I told you about cats, the other day?", she spoke on the phone.

"No Taa. I don't. What about it?", he asked.

"About Guardian souls..", she hinted.

He laughed, "Not again, Taa. Talk to you later!" and he hung up.

Rinku funnily stared at the mirror and took a strange stance and cuddled her self on the leather seat. She closed her eyes and gently grunted.

Tahira, arranged her desk with the paraphernalia and wondered about the uncanny similarity between the calmness that the buddha statue and Rinku had.

A living thing vs a non living thing.

She took to a chair next to Rinku and stared into mirror. She looked at her self, noted the hair growth on her face, raised her eyebrows a few times, set her hair and relaxed on the chair.

She gently closed her eyes and wondered what lay beneath her skin. She went one layer down, feeling her veins, the rush of blood, the thumping of her heart.

Her breathing synced with her heartbeat..

1....2......3....4...

She started counting. Soon she was lost in a deep trance, or a sleep she hadn't resorted to in years.

Her head felt lighter and a brightness within attracted her towards the unknown. She dived in deeper, and tears started flowing. She was discovering the depths of her inner self that she never knew existed.

Suddenly she pushed herself out of this trance, fearing the unknown. She looked at the mirror and felt a love she hadn't, in her entire existence.

That's exactly what she was looking for. A love, that she was seeking, had finally sought her.

"Taa, I love you", she recollected Sam's words and smiled as they dissolve into meaninglessness.

The sense of words was eventually evolving for her. Love!

Epiphany

noreply@blogger.com (Obscure Optimist) — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 10:20:00 +0000

The wind caressed the tamarind tree, and the remnants of raindrops fell on Mangal. Startled, he looked up, and adjusted his seat on the rock he was sitting on. His cane stick fell in a water puddle. Mangal picked it up and tapped it on the concrete a few times.

Thakk.. thakk…thakk…

This place helped him cool off his anger, every time he had a fight with Kanta. He would barge out of the house at these impulses. These were regular scenes, and Kanta would eagerly wait for Mangal to come back home. He thought of one such fight he had years ago.

***

"Mangali"

"Aye Mangali"

"How long before you switch off that television and finish your food?"

Kanta was eternally tired of running after Mangal for every little thing.

"Bastards, all of them!", Mangal yelled.

"Why can't they catch a ball falling at an arm's distance? These cricketers are way too complacent for the money they are paid"

Kanta sighed, looking at Mangal shift tensely on the cane chair, reacting to the Match India had just lost.

"Such an abysmal performance. Leeches!", he frowned.

"Eat your food, so that I can wrap up before the maid comes", Kanta called out one more time.

Mangal took to his cane and hit angrily on the floor. "Coming!! Didn't I say!"

At 80, his voice quivered. His anger, not so much.

Kanta stayed mum, knowing this will take a while to settle down.

Babbling incoherently, Mangal inhaled heavily and began to sit for his meal.

“Finish this fast, the maid will come anytime”, Kanta reiterated, exasperatingly.

He slid the plate away from the table, “Let her come”, he said and furiously walked away, his cane tapping the floor.

Thakk.. thakkk.. thakk…thakk..

Copyright : obscureoptimist

***

Sitting at his favorite place, Mangal, looked up, at the intricate designs of the tree, and wondered, how beautifully the sunshine seeped through the gaps and distributed its chunk into beautiful rays. Today was not one of those days, though. Monsoons had rendered the city devoid of sunshine for over a month. Mangal detested overdone things. Seasons, too, sometimes, when they stayed superfluously.

Brooding over what’s what and why was not his nature. Mangal would sit under the tree and observe things around him. He would add the numbers on the number plates of the vehicles parked or going past him. He would sniff tobacco every now and then, and, do nothing.

It was hard to know what went on in his mind. He kept looking up, at the tree, wondering why he did not observe it this closely before. It was like an unfathomable maze. He picked up one branch and started tracing it from the trunk to its end. But he lost it every time. He failed to figure out which branch went where.

After minutes of staring at the tree, he groggily stretched his neck and looked down. He felt the pull in shoulders and spine. He drew his attention to the trunk of the tree, and saw how beautifully it held all the origins of the branches.

He imagined Kanta.

He realized, he had not acknowledged how dependent he was on her.

“Mangali Uncle…Can I drop you home? Aunty must me waiting.”, said a kind passerby, interrupting Mangal’s business.

He smiled.

It had just been 1 day, and he had to start informing everyone about her death. Perhaps there were many who did not know.

“Sure. Thank you”, Mangal said.

He turned back and took an earnest look at the tree one more time. He tapped it as if it was a reassurance that he was giving to someone who sought it from him.

“Let’s go”, he said and started walking towards the car.

“How long does it take for a tree to grow, if I plant it now”, Mangal asked the young man who had offered him a lift…

***

...end....