An Obsessed Analyst

My Life is a Basket of Bread - Living on Restricted Diets

2013-04-20T15:55:00.001-07:00

Well, it isn't exactly. My life is certainly not a bowl of cherries though. That would be healthy and we aren't quite there yet. So, I was making some beef stew this morning in the crock pot and started this line of thought about the food in our home and our diets. Making the stew, gluten free of course.

Beef Stew Cooking - about 1/2 way done. It looks better in person.
Hamilton Beach 8-Qt. Slowcooker (Google Affiliate Ad)

Yes, Hey has to be gluten free and Myrrh has to be dairy free and technically egg white free. We aren't real strict on the egg white free diet for Myrrh because it was based on an allergy test of her blood. The doctor told us on a scale of 1-4 her allergy to egg whites was less than 1. He suggested we not let her have recipes heavy with egg whites, like omelets, quiche, scrambles eggs, you get the idea. So she is exposed to eggs, but usually not to much. Her egg exposure is usually minimum. We have had a harder time adjusting to her dairy free diet than her sister's gluten free diet. At the age of 5 when we had her tested and evaluated she had a very established diet, very heavy on the dairy. Peanut butter and dairy were her primary sources of protein since she won't eat any beans, nuts or meat. Well, except for chicken nuggets and hot dogs, but we only let her eat those about once per week, unless we are having a hate grocery shopping and lazy cooking kind of week. Some of her more healthy favorite foods were yogurt, cheese sticks and things sprinkled with Parmesan cheese. Seems that milk is in many of her favorite foods. We have adjusted, but have to tweak a few things here and there since NASA doesn't always think about it enough. If we have it in the house and it isn't blatantly thought of as having milk, he may let her have it. Since Hey has been gluten free since age 3 (now almost 8) he has gotten much better, but he is still learning with Myrrh.

I guess my husband isn't alone. Dairy free for other people is more of a challenge than you would think. For example, at church yesterday they let her eat chocolate Oreo cookies. Last night and this morning, she was complaining her tummy hurt. Well, when I asked what she ate yesterday she told me about the cookies. We have let her eat the yellow Oreos, but definitely not the chocolate. Myrrh had it marked on her name tag that she must be dairy free. She said one of the teenage helpers read the ingredients and said there wasn't any dairy in them. Well, clearly people do not associate milk with chocolate, although I am pretty sure they say milk on the package. So we talked about the fact that most of the time when an ingredient on packaged or junk food is chocolate that it usually means milk chocolate, not cocoa which is what we get in dairy free chocolate bars from Sprouts.

Some people may ask, "Why have it in the house, if your husband and children have a hard time with their diets?" Well, unfortunately I am addicted to wheat, love Eggs and dairy. I need the yogurt for yeast imbalance. Yes, I know I can take pro biotic supplements. I have to give Myrrh a pro biotic powder daily. However, I have learned garlic and yogurt work much better for me. I use the supplements too. Sad to say, but I know my yeast problems are due to my wheat and sugar diet. I am trying, really. I am addicted and I know I have mentioned this before. I need rehab to break the addiction. Through rehab I could train my body to crave a more Paleo type diet, processed sugar and wheat free. If I can just detox from the processed sugar and wheat, I think the cravings would stop. Maybe that is unrealistic, but I know it would be my best chance. Bypass surgery would be useless on me because I know I would probably still make myself sick to eat the foods I crave. Heck I know that my body reacts to certain foods, especially when I eat out. You would think the horrible stomach discomfort and the need to run to the bathroom after 30 minutes of ingesting the poison would be enough to change my ways. Nope, I still eat it. That is a serious addiction issue. I bet 80% of my health issues would resolve themselves with a back to fresh, basic, unprocessed food LIFESTYLE. Yes, not a diet, a new lifestyle. Then my house will have to be cleansed of my trigger food for a few days when I return from rehab. Of course, my children and husband being with me on this new lifestyle would be an added bonus, but I think if my body no longer craved it I would be okay after the first week or so of being home.

I can sit in a house with a bag of M&Ms and only consume a few at a time, once a day. Most of the time it takes us, the three family members who can eat it, 5 days to finish a 9 ounce or larger bag of candy. Well, at least 27 days out of the month. I do sometimes have a binge issue 1-3 days out of the month. I am learning my trigger foods (and some of my husband's too). We call yellow Oreos, the ones Myrrh can eat, crack. I want to meet someone on a typical American diet who can eat only 1 of them once a day. I swear they have a drug in them, hence why we call them crack. I laugh at the resealable packages. Those Oreos don't stand a chance of going stale. They don't last more than 3 days in our house. They are an evil food. Gluttony is a sin. If a food causes me to overindulge, it is evil, and I have sinned. Yep, it is my responsibility. It is now known that food companies purposely flavor foods to be more desirable, or simply put, addictive.

“He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.”Proverbs 5:23

Anywho, we are trying to get processed and toxic food out of the house. It is a gradual process. Unfortunately, Myrrh is a concern. She looses weight whenever I try and remove a major staple of her diet. The things like crackers, cereal, Pop Tarts and breads. We finally weaned her off Pop Tarts while Grandma was here this winter, but I screwed up. I had a $1.00 off coupon from Fry's AND a $1.00 manufacturers coupon. I went to Fry's with Mir, she asked and I bought. I know I enabled her. Cutting out and keeping those coupons was my first error. She asked me if I had a coupon because she saw they were on sale. I am a weak Mom when it comes to feeding this child. Plus, my husband and I love how convenient they are and they do taste good. They were super cheap, like 85 cents a box after sale and coupons. I have decided though, once those three boxes are gone, no more. There is only half of 1 box left. I went grocery shopping last night, without the children, and didn't buy any. So, I have to stop cutting out coupons for processed foods AND not grocery shop with my children.

If I buy healthier alternatives, eventually Myrrh will at least try them. She rarely likes them, but who can blame her. The alternative foods usually do have a different look, flavor or have an odd texture. The worst is that the good alternatives are super expensive. We try.

We are trying to detox our diets the best we can and as cost effectively as possible. We now have a garden. I will only buy organic apples. I try to be sure to buy organic items that the girls consume on a regular basis. We get grass fed beef. I buy our boneless chicken breast from Zaycon Foods. It is supposed to be fresher and less processed than regular grocery store chicken breast. I only get cage free eggs. I buy only Hebrew National Hot Dogs and the nitrate free lunch meats, like Hormel. I buy organic broths in the cartons. I have cut in half our use of canned products.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

It is hard to eliminate all the allergen foods in our home. Hey, our gluten free girl, who can't have bananas or cucumbers either, really enjoys being able to eat dairy foods like gluten free pizza. She loves my cheesy chicken casserole. Myrrh, our dairy free, who shouldn't have egg whites, loves bread. NASA and I love our cheeses and breads. Hence, why our home supply of food isn't as restrictive as we need, but it is the way we want it for now. Now if NASA could just be more careful and remember which child is which, it would be very helpful. However, each girl is getting better as they get older.

Groceries this week & pantry on the road to recovery!

Hey is the most reliable at turning down foods with wheat. She will be 8 next month and has been gluten free since age 3. She tested allergic, but does not have celiac disease. Myrrh is 6 years old and has only been dairy free for less than 2 years. Eventually they will be able to self regulate their diets. Hey and Myrrh are learning that their tummy troubles and sore bottoms are related directly to what they eat. Being so young, hopefully they choose not to create such horrible discomfort for themselves. I hope they don't grow up to have addiction issues.

Do you have a child with a special or restricted diet? What changes have you made? What do you find is the most helpful resource for special diets?

© 2013 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

I'm in a Funk! Ya think...

2013-04-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

In this case I am going with Etymology #2 as defined by Wictionary.
Noun

funk (countable and uncountable; plural funks)
1.(countable) mental depression
2.(uncountable) A state of fear or panic, especially cowardly

Just haven't felt like doing much. Poor NASA is so tolerant, my kids too. It is starting to pile up around here. This happens every so often. Sometimes more frequently than others. My biggest challenge this time is the chaos of the clothes and laundry. Why does the state of our laundry reflect my moods?

Anywho, I have until April 15th to get the cobwebs out of my motivation and push through. Why April 15th, other than it being tax day (already filed)? It is the day we have some cleaning people coming to Spring clean. I am excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I can't wait to have the place scrubbed floor to ceiling. Not that it hasn't been clean. I say we keep it superficially clean. All the ordinary stuff is washed and scrubbed on a relatively consistent basis, but not the deep clean. We don't wipe off baseboards or get to walls or windows very often, like sometimes never. The thing is that I have to get the laundry under control to really get the upstairs to benefit from this Spring cleaning.

At least upstairs isn't as bad as it was before.

What it looked like one year ago in 2012.

Darn, I should have taken after pictures. It did look better for 11 months. Especially since the boxes are gone. Now that I look at the actual pictures again from last year. It isn't as different as I would like it to be this year. Those darn clothes are back to haunt me. Right now there are 3 hampers full of clothes, 2 laundry baskets and a dryer full of clean clothes. The washer has a load of towels in it waiting to dry. Obviously they will need washed again. Then there are 2 storage containers of summer and winter clothes. This time of year where we have to transition from winter to summer clothes does not help at all. Clearly this time of year is a real stumbling block for me when it comes to laundry. How interesting that my Hoarders post was almost exactly 1 year ago, uncanny.

Of course my laundry issue is just a symptom. I have a long list of things I haven't done. My blogs are so neglected. Well, the funk lifted last year and I got back on track, so here is looking forward to the funk ending soon! YEAH! Last year the funk ended with a big huge kerplunk. I got so ambitious I started a new blog, RU Ready to Craft, a new facebook page, started Pinterest and got more connected on Twitter. This year when it lifts I will be sure to just pick up where I left off instead of starting anything new. Well, actually I am working on a new homeschool project, but that is different, right. Anywho, off to read or do something other than what I need to do.

© 2013 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

My Regrets Are Not Few

2013-01-06T14:45:00.001-07:00

If you ever asked me, "What are you thinking?" and I answered, "nothing", I was lying. I am always thinking about something. I know it is why I have a hard time falling asleep. When my oldest daughter, Hey, told me at age 4 that she couldn't shut off her brain, I sympathized. I know exactly how that feels. However, I couldn't relate to what the heck would keep her brain buzzing late into the night. What does a 3 year old think about that can keep them awake?

I guess that is the price one pays for having a busy analytical mind. Many times I think we struggle in our relationship because we are very much alike. I suspect that like me, she reviews her day, thinks about how she could have done things differently and what the next day could hold.

My 7 1/2 years old Hey.

We both are stubborn and willful. My mother says I was a better behaved little girl, but I think that was from fear of my father. My children don't have that threat in their minds. Other than her explosiveness, I see many of Hey's behavior and think that is how I felt when I was young. I remember the hate I felt for my parents. If left unchecked, I know Hey would become as much of a procrastinator and perfectionist as I am today. One motto we have now in our home: "Only God is perfect." That motto has served my children well.

There are so many things to think about. I spend way to much time second guessing the things that I say or do. I purposely try and stay away from anything that I did before my marriage. The choices I made as a teenager were reckless and stupid. It is a wonder I am alive today, not even considering my congenital heart defect. I say, "Thank you God I got married when I was 23 years old." Otherwise my list of regrets might have been longer. Many times I wish there weren't other people involved in those experiences or character building events. I created way to much drama in my teen years.

I think it all started in 7th grade when I cleaned out a friends locker since she was out sick. I knew the combination to her locker and was going to be able to get her things to her. I found a notebook of correspondence between her and another friend. They had written to each other as if it were a diary. 1st mistake, I read it. 2nd mistake, I talked about it with, who I thought, was a trusted friend in our social circle. The trusted friend turned out to be a social piranha. She used the incident to create my demise in the social community of 7th grade. I was no longer part of the in crowd. In fact, nasty gossip started being spread about me. What was ironic was that the owner of the locker had forgiven me and was over it.

My poor choices only got worse as I started 8th grade and all my friends had changed. I was an honor roll student every quarter in 7th grade since it was a point of competition in my old social circle. In 8th grade I didn't care. My new group of friends didn't care either. We spent most of our time figuring out how to party like our older high school siblings.

Myself, 22 years old, with NASA before marriage.

I do know that my parents were smart in taking me out of that public school system and sending me to a private high school. I had to start over with new school friends and that made a big difference.

So why does this matter now? Well, I am the mother of two beautiful girls. As I said, my oldest, Hey, reminds me of myself in some ways. I realize she is only 7 1/2 years old, but all our interactions and her learning are cumulative. She is only 5 years away from when my world radically changed and my poor choices had residual effects. I don't want my daughters to have the emotional baggage I brought into my marriage.

I wonder, is there anything my Mom could have done to help? Is there some experience or conversation that would have helped me make better choices starting at the age of 13? What ground work do I need to do now that will keep my daughter from making poor choices? I spend a great deal of time examining my role in her life as her mother. I know I am over critical of my parenting, but I can't help it. I have started to tell her how much I think about how I am her mother and what I could do better. I tell her when I am wrong or have made a mistake.

Wow, after reading this several times to edit it I realize what I need to change. It is to much about me! I need to change my focus. It needs to be all about God. I have to show my daughter how the Lord directs my life now.

I believe I was on the path to where I am today. I just think that between the ages of 13 to 22, I took a huge detour. I believe if my faith was firmly grounded in God's Word much younger many of my regrets would not have occurred. Once I did start listening to the Lord He did miracles in my life. He has healed me in many ways, not just physically.

I can only hope that my talking to her and being honest will allow her to trust God and what He would have for her. As a family we talk about our values and faith. I pray that with all of that and sharing God's Word, once she is an adult, she will have few regrets.

Writing this was very helpful. The best thing I can do is continue to keep God in the center of my life. I now know that will be the best thing I can do for her and her sister.

"And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

National Adoption Day is Close to My Heart

2012-11-17T11:15:00.003-07:00

Today is National Adoption Day. It is a great day for the world to recognize the beauty of adoption. Adoption is the gift of bringing love into a life. Personally I don’t feel there is any better day to celebrate in the world than Adoption Day. It is all over Facebook. It is the best media method of spreading the message of the gift of adoption.

We started our journey when we became foster parents in September of 2005. The adoption of our two gorgeous sibling daughters was final April 9, 2007. It has been an incredible journey in parenthood.

Hey and Myrrh's Adoption, April 9, 2005

Both girls come with their own needs and personalities. You can tell they are siblings because of their needs, but are also very unique in the joy they have for life. The food allergies and learning abilities clearly indicate they are siblings. It hasn’t been an easy path, which in perspective isn’t that far off than the challenges of many parents. Children in general bring a whole new world to your view.

If it weren’t for my creative daughters I never would have started a craft blog. They have created so many firsts in my life. Hey and Myrrh have molded me into the person I am today. We truly are a family enriched by the experience of each other.

Myrrh on her 6th Birthday

Myrrh is my tender-heart animal obsessed child with a strange interest in the Weird, True and Freaky oddities of life.

Hey is my impulsive defensive hearted child who wants to know everything there is to know about life, but not necessarily direct from me.

Hey with her Halloween Bear.

Both are the ultimate gifts God has given me, well, other than offering me Salvation. I see how wonderfully and beautifully made God’s creation is all around us through learning with my children.

I knew God called me to serve Him through being a foster/adoptive parent when I was a teenager. He knew I needed the benefit of seeing His grace through the eyes of a child. I have been richly blessed only because He decided I was good enough. Despite my doubts, God decided I was to parent these girls. I have to remind myself daily that He chose me. It is an awesome responsibility. I pray each day that I am worthy of the journey.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…" James 1:27 (NIV)

If you have a heart to assist in meeting the needs of children who don’t have the benefits of a forever family, you can check out information on The James Fund.

“There are many ways you can get involved: pray, give, mobilize your church, or adopt. Once you decide on the path that’s right for you, seek out organizations who offer guidance and support. Your journey will change you (and the orphan and the widow) forever.”

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Listening to God - We Are Staying

2012-09-16T16:15:00.001-07:00

My last post raised some good questions that I wanted to address.

After much prayer and reflection we know we are supposed to be here in Tucson now. We moved here for many reasons, most importantly because God wanted us here. Our family has experienced such huge miracles and blessings that we try to work out all things for His glory. Oddly enough, we are confident we are in His will when others tell us we are crazy, shouldn't do something or it doesn't make sense to them.

It makes more sense to move where NASA can have a job. However, it isn't what God wants us to do right now.

Why don’t I return to work? It wouldn’t solve the issue of my husband needing to work. He is a goal oriented person with a work ethic making it hard for him to accept retirement at the age of 41. He is volunteering his time each week, but it isn’t enough for him. Plus, I have grown to enjoy being home and available to my children. Early on, we agreed that I was the one to stay home for the children.

I have my own employment challenges too. I have a Masters degree and have been out of my field of human resources for 5 years. I would have to return to work full-time. There are few and far between part-time positions in human resources. I would prefer not to choose work over my children. Most human resources professionals do not want to supervise someone with 15 years of experience and degrees. I am over educated and lack recent work history. I respect women who work or return to work after having children. It is a huge balancing act of work and family. I tried it in March of 2008, it wasn't for me. It stressed me out and I missed my girls.

Then there is bringing the girls back to homeschooling. It was always the goal to make sure they got the attention and instruction they needed to be successful.

Having them in school has been a huge learning experience. I volunteer in their classrooms and see what outside education has done for children. There are second graders who struggle to read. Smart kids who when I sat and read with a small group, they didn't even know how to try and sound out the words. I could see their frustration. I know our local public school is not a long term strategy for us.

Our loan modification came through, finally. With the guidance of a HUD counselor we started the process back in February. In July the bank agreed to let us enter into a 6 month 'trail' modification period, resulting in a lower monthly payment. If we could successfully complete the trial period they would modify our loan. There were no terms for our modification laid out. We had no clue what the end result would be. Although we were only 2 months into our trial period, the bank sent us paperwork to permanently modify the loan. They offered us a lower interest rate. Instead of the 6.25% we were paying, it was modified down to 3.75%. All the terms remained the same, 25 years left on the loan and same remaining principle. Essentially we got a refinance without any closing costs lowering our monthly payment to be more affordable. We closed this week on the modified loan.

We are selling all the excess things we have accumulated over the last 20 years. Using the money to fund some changes we want to make in the house.

The first big step to show our commitment to sticking it out here was selling all our moving boxes. We have started hanging pictures on the walls. Soon we will be replacing the flooring in our living room, building storage in the garage and putting the drapes/curtains up. We will make this our home again. It feels good and we know it is what is right now.

2 John 6 (NIV) And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in his love.

Soon we will address the best direction for our girls schooling. One thing at a time.

Will We Stay Or Will We Go?

2012-08-31T14:17:00.000-07:00

Over the last few weeks I haven’t written. I am at a loss as to where to start, what direction to take my writing or attempt to sum up my emotions. There is so much going on, but yet nothing seems to be going anywhere.

There was a job here in Tucson for my husband, NASA, that seemed perfect. It seemed to line up with his analytical strengths and enjoyment of teaching. We both thought it would be the answer to prayer. He had two written contingent job offers if that specific company received the contract. A few days ago he found out that a company he was not connected to won the contract. The perfect job disappeared. We had put the job out there as a test to whether we should keep trying to stay in Arizona, or move on.

Then NASA got a call from the company who won the contract. They wanted to talk to him. They sent him an application to fill out. It looked like the job may come through after all. Alas, it was not to be. The original candidate changed his mind and decided to take less money to stay in the job. This back and forth did not help our spirits.

My Hero, retired Captain NASA

NASA has been seeking employment since January. As of March 1^st he was officially retired from the U.S. Air Force. He has diligently applied to everything he is remotely qualified. He even tried the $12/hour manual labor route, got an interview, but can’t get hired because he is overqualified. He spent 20 years as one of the best weather forecasters protecting billions of dollars in military assets. He brought Google Earth to the weather field and taught them how to exploit its integration into forecasts. However, there isn’t much call for a meteorologist who doesn’t have math courses like calculus or higher as a part of his BS degree in Professional Aeronautics. A meteorologist who doesn’t know computer programming and doesn’t have the confidence or coordination to work in front of a green screen on television is limited too. The 2 weather technician jobs he applied for and interviewed for paid less than what the cost of living in the area would require, like San Diego.

We aren’t quite sure what to do. We have a rental home in Vegas that will be empty in November. Our housing costs would be $425/month less to live there and wait on the Lord.

So, I just ask for your prayers that somehow our path will be made clear and God will open the door wide for us to step through and continue to be obedient to Him. Thanks.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

There are many great articles to encourage us in our waiting, these two are favorites.

Waiting on the Lord. A study by J. Hampton Keathley, III

This one was sent to me by a friend, so I knew I needed it. The Faithfulness of God by Chuck Smith.

I drafted this post yesterday. Today I am posting it and wanted to share that we now have an answer. We are staying. The only thing that changed was our perspective. God works in interesting ways. I will explain another day.

School Really Is In Full Swing

2012-08-02T23:56:00.001-07:00

I have more time to myself these days, but yet I don't seem to get anymore done. Well, some more, but not what I would like. I may just have high expectations.

Days are all structured around the school schedule. I thought bedtime was a pain in the neck in the past, well it hasn't gotten any better. Mornings are now in close competition to bedtime. No matter how early I wake them up, we are always rushing around at the end. We discuss lunch, pick out clothes the night before and backpacks are ready to go. What more could we do? I am considering putting them to bed in their clothes for the next day.

Have you started your school routine yet? Arizona goes back to school early so it is an odd time of year. I always associated school starting after Labor Day. It is still summer, but school has started here. I am finding it hard to reconcile.

Then there is my writer and craft block. All this time seems to have created a total lack of creative thought on my part. I don't even have copy cat in me. I'm hoping it will pass. We have a birthday, Myrrh's, coming so I best get out of my funk soon. I will try to be better at keeping you posted.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

First Day of School

2012-07-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am back. It is bittersweet. I took Hey and Myrrh to school today, public school, shocking I know. I was led to homeschooling while living in Vegas. Now, we are playing it by ear, literally. We are closely listening to what the teachers say about the girls academic skills and special needs. There is a curriculum meeting coming up for the parents. I will definitely be there. I plan on volunteering in the classroom to see how things are first hand.

Hey's counselor strongly suggested we keep Hey in school. The girls physical therapist suggested we seek an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for them both and see if we can establish services for their needs. Their developmental pediatrician told us to seek services whatever way we thought was best. We weighed the opinions of these three professionals and our own experience. The best way to get services is to have your child in public school. It isn't the only way, but the easiest and fastest.

We live in a small school district that is a tight knit community. It is the best school district in the State of Arizona. I already have received an e-mail and a phone call from the school district communicating what to expect for the start of school.

Plus, there is the issues that Hey refuses to learn from me. My thought is that Hey will be in some school at least until all her skills are at the 3rd grade level. Many Christian online courses and the programs I would consider don't start until 3rd grade.

It broke my heart to drop off Myrrh today at 1st grade. She has asked me in the past to always homeschool her. She listens and learns from me, but struggles with many skills she needs at her age. We really need to see if we can get the school to provide the OT for her motor skills. She potentially needs Speech too. I am not sure the school will see it that way since it superficially seems to be an enunciation issue. We shall see.

Myrrh did benefit from meeting her teacher and seeing her classroom last week. Once she saw that it was a fascinating classroom she wanted to give it a try. Her teacher seemed very nice. She remembered her this morning too. I just pray that Myrrh's tender heart doesn't get wounded. She is so sensitive to what others think. Hey is sensitive too, but she keeps her heart well guarded.

Yes, I am justifying why we are sending our girls to the local elementary school in our neighborhood. Although NASA and I have a peace about it, we want others to know it wasn't an easy decision. One goal is that as soon as NASA has a job and we have an IEP for Hey, we will start shopping faith based schools that can accomodate her needs.

In the meantime, I have to watch that I don't waste this school time alone. I have many projects I haven't had time to do and this is a great opportunity to do them.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Taking a Short Break!

2012-07-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am trying to be as "Hands Free" as possible this week. I am taking the lead from Hands Free Mama. Her blog has really awakened me to the lost moments of childhood due to my distractions.

Best Mom Blog Ever!

My girls will be starting school on Monday. Once they are in school, it will be hectic, but we will have a set schedule. We work much better with a strict schedule. Although, we spent many weeks of the summer in camps or VBS, there were plenty of days to seek opportunities for fun. I do look forward to a consistent schedule week after week. It will provide better organization, but I will mourn what we didn't have time to do before the start of school.

I will only be online after they are in bed, or before they wake up. That is only enough time to check e-mails and Facebook. I won't be able to blog anytime soon. It will be after July 17th for sure.

Have a great summer break. If you have children or not, enjoy the moments you have with other people. Focus on relationships without distractions.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Busy Trying to Bond

2012-07-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

We have less than two weeks before Hey starts school. Wow, the summer flew by. She was out of school for 7 weeks. Somedays it seemed to drag on, others flew by. I am trying to learn to spend more focused positive attention with her, but it isn't easy. I don't have much in common with Hey. She likes details about things, the science, how things work and the why of everything. I could care less about things and the science of it. I only want to know about it, find its worth, buy it for less and own it. As long as it works I don't care why or how.

Other than crafts there are not many things we do together. We can watch tv together, but I don't think that counts. We are not comfortable cuddling on the couch for more than 2 minutes. She is restless, fidgets constantly and digs her bones into my flesh. I like to read to her, but she gets bored with that quickly. She is the same with games. I don't know what to do or how to relate to this child other than crafts?

Doing a fun dollar store craft together.

Hey loves physical activity like biking, running around, and anything that involves movement. That isn't my strength. Being outside is not comfortable for me. I can't stand being outside in the hot sun more than 10 minutes at a time. Between my skin and my allergies, I just consider myself allergic to being outside. I endure going to the park with my children purely for their sake and sanity in our home. However, the park is out anytime it is windy or over 95 degrees, so that is about 6 months out of the year. Thank goodness NASA is an outdoorsman!

Hey sees how much easier it is for Myrrh and I to spend time together. It is effortless. We can cuddle, play in Myrrh's imaginary world of animals, go shopping without buying anything, read a ton of books, and just talk. Well, Myrrh does most of the talking, I try and keep up with listening. Hey is smart she sees the difference in our relationships. She translates that to my loving her less. It breaks my heart to know she doesn't feel loved sometimes. How do parents handle it between siblings with different personalities? I only have two different children. I can't imagine, 3 or more.

I am afraid that school won't help us relate more either. Praying that somehow I can find ways to let Hey know that I value her, she is loved and worth receiving my positive attention.

Raising a Challenging Child

2012-06-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

I have thought about this post for way to long. It is time to just get it out there. Many children, like my daughter Hey, with challenging behavior, can tell you all about the rules and why their behavior was inappropriate, but this knowledge doesn’t help them. My beautiful daughter was diagnosed at 3 yrs. old with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) as well as several developmental ~~disorders~~ issues and learning ~~disabilities~~ abilities. With professional help, we are still trying to figure out if Hey's behavior is still RAD related or something different.
Hey had a very hard start in this world when her biological parents were homeless, drug users and not emotionally able to handle a newborn. More than likely Hey has a problem with impulse control not only from inherited ~~disabilities~~ abilities, but also because of her prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol, severe neglect, as well as damage to her frontal lobe, which controls inhibitions and judgment.

If you are interested in the difference in neurological development of traumatized children, Dr. Bruce Perry has done some great research and has published a great book, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook--What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing.

When we adopted Hey at 22 months old, we were told she seemed to be well bonded to us since she made great eye contact and was so well behaved in preschool. The problem is Hey’s behavior with us at home where she can relax and be herself. She shows no respect for our authority and always pushes to the limits. She overreacts to minor things and shows little to no reaction to what you may think is hurtful or traumatic. She is a drama queen most of the time.

As parents who strive to be the best, we have been trained and practice parenting models: 1, 2, 3 Magic and Love & Logic. Chances of it actually working go out the window most of the time, when you have a child with impulse control issues. When you can’t find the one thing to help her make better choices, it takes an incredible amount of patience. She has no toys in her room. Many times she decides that loosing privileges, things or going places are not as important as her being in control and getting what she wants.

Temper Tantrum of Challenging Child

How do you teach a child impulse control? I read a nice blog on how to practice self control in order for a young child to learn it. http://simple-gifts.blogspot.com/2010/04/helping-children-learn-impulse-control.html It sounds great, but I think that is the best way to teach a somewhat regular child. Hey’s rage, aggression and outbursts are far from normal at home. The worst is after a day where she has been at school, hanging with friends or being out in public. She seems to be okay and holding it together, then when she is relaxed and comfortable, Hey lets it all out. The poor behavior and choices when exhausted can be common for many children, but I cannot stress the degree she takes it up to. Unless you live with a raging child, you don’t truly know. I have found the people who understand best are parents with RAD or autistic children. Interesting enough all of the developmental ~~disorders~~ issues and learning ~~dis~~abilities my daughter has are on the autism spectrum. Yet, she is not autistic.

We are told to rehearse scenarios, practice difficult situations and predict triggers. It can be exhausting trying to figure out how to prevent the outbursts, temper tantrums, rage, and consequences of a bad decision. It doesn’t help when you are in public and Hey doesn’t realize other people can hear and see her. People look at you as if you are the reason for your child’s poor behavior. I understand; I used to think the same thing before I had children. My mother and I were at a mall in Vegas once where I had to put Hey over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes to take her to the car to leave. We were a long walk from the car and at the age of 5 Hey was 50 inches tall and weighed more than 50 lbs. She was kicking, screaming, shouting about what a horrible person I was and other mean things kids say when they have been told ‘No’. I think people thought I might be abducting her, but I kept saying out loud, “I said no, I am your mother and I love you no matter how bad you act.”

Then there are Hey’s trust issues. How do you get a child to trust you, especially when the child’s brain is wired to not trust and has impulse control issues?

Hey doesn’t believe what I tell her. She tests whatever I say. For example, while looking at her Cinderella snow globe she asked me if it was water that allows the sparkles/glitter float in it. I told her, off the top of my head, it was probably some sort of water like liquid that probably had some chemical in it to suspend the particles in it better than just water alone. She asked if I was sure it wasn’t just water. I told her I was sure and since we can’t open it up to check I could google it to verify, but first I had to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the room the Cinderella snow globe was broken open on the carpet. She said it was an accident that it slipped and that indeed it was not just water because it did not taste or smell like water.

Hey being herself at home.

She is like a teenager or adult with trust issues. She never can take your word for something. She has to check and verify. When I warned her to stay away from the hot curling iron, she touches it ‘by accident’. She has done that twice. She has burned her hand on the stove twice too. She has run into traffic as well. If I say “stop”, unless she can see the danger for herself, she won’t listen. This can be annoying in an adult (I do it myself sometimes), can you imagine it in a 7 year old?

After 16 sessions with her new therapist here in Tucson, her therapist asked me if she is always so condescending. I thought, “It took only 16 sessions to let her guard down, does that mean she is getting better?”

This is the summer of discovering our children’s gifts and talents so that we know where to invest our time and effort for extracurricular activities for the school year. This past week Hey was in theater workshops for the week. She spent 4 hours each day learning how to be an actor in a live theater production. Clearly her ability to hold it together and knowing how to act in public is becoming her talent. She had her lines for the play memorized by the second day. She projected her voice during the performance like a real pro. She made some better choices when we told her attending her acting workshops each day were optional. We may have found the thing that has meaning to her. She may never be famous, but if it helps her channel her inner Drama Queen, I will do what we can to continue to foster her talent.

I am thankful for Hey being in our family. She has made me a better parent, learning that I need to trust other people more, stop being so selfish and still need to move away from serving my own self interest and instead serve others. I am reminded that God decided we were good enough to be Hey’s parents. He allowed us to adopt her into our family just as He adopted me, a greatly flawed individual, into His kingdom. I am humbled and reminded daily of the forgiveness God gives me for my sins. I can only hope and pray that Hey grows to trust God as she has taught us to trust Him.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4

Can't Go Out and Play

2012-06-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

I just spent the time my children were in Vacation Bible School (VBS) cleaning out their rooms of any remnants of toys. They didn’t have much since they only would clean up the ones they wanted to keep. It was enough to keep them happy and busy.

Bedroom before the clean out.

Well, now those are all gone too. That is what happens if you choose to leave your socks, shoes and toys in my living room and talk back with disrespect. After you have gone to bed, things will disappear. This had been going on for years since my husband and I did a parenting class in Love and Logic.

The way I like my living room to look before bedtime.

Lately, my oldest daughter, Hey, has decided there is nothing she can lose that will make her decide to clean anything up. When we would get to this point in the past she would miss out on the opportunity to go to a birthday party, swimming, shopping , movie, a craft, video games, or go to a friend’s house. After a time or two of missing out on those things, she would improve for weeks. I’m not a real stickler about their rooms being clean either. I do require that there be a path to get to their bed so we can read to them, sing and pray together at bedtime. I request that the toys be picked up if they don’t want them to get stepped on. If they choose not to then they take the risk of it being broken. It seems her and her sister needed a reminder about the living room being a clean zone before bedtime.

Right now the girls are going to VBS and having Hey stay home was not a choice I was willing to offer. She is only gone from 8:30 AM to noon, so that is just enough time for me to recharge for the ~~test~~ rest of the day.

Bedroom after the clean out.

Let’s see if the missing toys will help the children get better attitudes. Myrrh still has a few stuffed animals. Hey does have her pillow pets. All their books and educational items are left. I am wondering if just having those items will still give them a respect for making better choices. They will still have access to the craft room. We shall see how it plays out. I am confident it will work for Myrrh since all of her horses are gone. Myrrh will be asking right away what she can do to earn things back. Hey cares much less about things.

I guess if it comes down to it, if Hey can’t pull it together, then I can suck it up and stay home with her a day doing nothing. So for now, Hey cannot go out and play. Maybe the next day though.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before…

2012-05-29T00:48:00.001-07:00

I really would like to know that products are being discontinued before I run out of them. This has been a long running issue in my life. I get set on something that works well and makes my life easier, then BAM it is off the market. I remember the first time it happened, it was very traumatic. The lipstick, it didn’t dry my lips out, make them peel or wear off to fast. Next it was my favorite bra. I did find another bra and when it was discontinued I was able to go online and buy a dozen in two different sizes, but that was 10 years ago. I did the same thing when my favorite underwear disappeared from the stores. I am down to my last few and they are getting worn out. I have others, but they just are not as good or worthy of future purchasing.

Look the pillowcase matches the shower curtain below.

There have been shower curtains, rugs and sheet sets that wear out before the coordinating soap dish, toothbrush holder, bedspread and curtains. Thank goodness that went out of style.

Evidence of the 90's bathroom decor and my daughter caught in the act of playing with my favorite foundation primer.

My dermatologist got me hooked on recommendations and now I have to change, same thing with my hairdresser. There were facial cleansers, moisturizers, shampoos, conditioners, mousse, sculpting gel, foundation and primer too, just gone. Once I find a product I am not allergic to and works great, I become a loyal consumer. It doesn’t matter if they are economy products or luxury brands, everything at some point is reformulated or discontinued. If I had unlimited resources, well if it didn’t expire too, I would buy a warehouse full of the things I love. Shhhh, I have been known to use products beyond the listed expiration date.

It is the same with some television shows I watched the first season or more, and it gets canceled. If I had known there wouldn’t be closure or a tidy ending I never would have started watching it. It is okay to take shows off the air if the show ties up loose ends. Otherwise conclusion episodes for cancelled shows should be mandatory and written into the contract with the network.

Change happens in life, but some changes just seem ridiculous and create way to much unnecessary work for adapting.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Another Day of Bows

2012-05-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

My oldest daughter has been invited to a birthday party of one of her classmates. We don't really have the resources to buy a present that I would feel comfortable giving. I am trying something new. I have until May 19th to see if I can pull it off to my satisfaction. I decided to follow directions and make some corker bows. I didn't realize how time consuming it could be. First I used dowels that were to large so the spirals were to loose. So I used skewers from our grill tools to get a tighter spiral. They worked great, but I only had four of them.

The mail arrived while I was lamenting about my lack of choices. My Mom, Grandma, comes through. She sends us boxes of clothes or supplies I request on a fairly regular basis. She rocks. She sent me 1/4 inch dowels that were perfect. I was able to make more that had the right spiral tightness.

I made some different combinations of the 3/8 inch grosgrain ribbon. It takes 25 minutes in the oven for the wet ribbon to get the twist. Add on twisting it onto the dowel and taking it off then the time to heat seal the ends it is quite the project. I wish I knew some shortcuts. The end results are fairly nice. I spent 6 hours making 6 bows and 2 hair clips. I would like a better return on my time. I can see why bows like this cost $8-10. If I ever see any for less than $8, then I know they are a real steal since they are so labor intensive.

I do have two favorites that I will have to make again since I will want my daughters to get a chance to wear them. I also think I will look in their closet to see what I can specifically coordinate with a dress or outfit.

Now I have to figure out what to do with all the 5/8 inch ribbon. I will have to watch more You Tube videos. Feel free to make suggestions.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

Adoption Day Everyday

2012-05-09T22:59:00.001-07:00

Our oldest daughter’s birthday is in June, long after school is out for summer. In her classroom they get to celebrate each child’s birthday when the parent sends in a cake and/or surprises for the whole class. My daughter wanted so desperately to celebrate her birthday with her class. I suggested we celebrate her Adoption Day instead since that is in April. Well that day fell during Spring Break, the day after Easter this year. It didn’t get the fanfare she would have loved. We got busy with appointments and the things of life. She never forgot. Finally we went out to the dollar store and gathered some things for her classmates and got the cupcake liners. We made the cupcakes and it is all ready to go to school. Her adoption celebration with her classmates will be one month after the actual date. I thought I would give her this letter in her book bag to read. I wonder what she will think?

The Original Celebration - April 9, 2007

May 9, 2012

Dear Hey,

I may not have been there to hold you when you were first born, but I wanted to be. God was holding you for me. I may have missed your very first smile, but God saw it. I may have not been able to feed, clothe or comfort you when you needed it, but God brought you through the neglect to be with me. I would have loved to have kept you safe, but know that God did.

Now you are in our family. We received you into our home to feed, clothe and comfort you. I sang and rocked you to sleep. I wanted to hold you all the time. You wanted to explore the world. We watched you smile, walk and play. You came to our home as a foster child. We were a temporary family protecting you until your birth family could figure out what to do. Your birth parents saw how much we cared for you and could keep you safe. They let you go so that we could have you be in our family forever. I wanted to be your Mom. We chose you as our child to be adopted into our family. We chose to bring you along our journey of worshiping and honoring God with our family. I am grateful to God for giving me the privilege of being your Mom. Thank you for being our little girl. We adore you and will always love you as if we were there from the day you were born.

The world officially recognized our choice to adopt you and have you be a part of our family along with your sister on April 9, 2007. No matter what day it maybe today, I celebrate your adoption everyday you are safe with us. Every day is adoption day for us.

Love,

Your Mom

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:13-16

Crafting Crocodiles for the Child

2012-04-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

I never intended for my blog to be all about arts and crafts. This being my third craft post though doesn't really qualify it as such. Plus, I mostly leave the crafts to friends, especially one great friend who does a fabulous blog that I like. I will say it again, to remind myself, I am not a craft person. I really do not like doing crafts. I have fallen into it because I homeschool my daughter AND want to save money. My youngest daughter loves to do arts and crafts. [My oldest daughter, 6 years old, does too, but she is in a private school for now.] In fact it is the only way I can get her to learn some things. Twice a week I start out the night before or in the morning asking her what art or craft she would like to do. She always picks some sort of animal. Lately it is related to an animal she has interacted with on Sim Animals Africa, or watched on the Wild Kratz or Go, Diego Go. We then Google whatever animal she chooses and look at the images that come up. She picks the craft based on what she likes, supplies we have and if I think we can manage it.

Feeling ambitious today.

Today it was crocodiles, which included looking at alligator crafts. We learned a couple crocodile facts, then I had her practice writing her small “c” and “r” letters. I tried to incorporate some math with measuring out the size of paper, skip counting googly eyes, etc… but she caught on to it and started to zone out on me. Since working on fine motor skills is very important for her abilities I figured that cutting, painting, and applying glue was good enough. Plus, do you realize how much skill it takes to locate two matching googly eyes from a large spaghetti jar full of eyes? You have to match color, size, and features since there are some with colored eyes, pupils, and eyelashes.
The handprint crocodiles were an easy concept, but to make it really cool you have to do Spock’s Vulcan Salute and bend your thumb to your index finger. It is a great motor skill for a little one, let alone an adult.

She painted a paper plate blue too since she thinks we can make a blue alligator out of it. I haven’t decided how we are going to execute that final product yet.

The paper bag crocodiles really are a sign that I am getting a bit more artistic when it comes to creating crafts. I didn’t find a paper bag crocodile craft online. I saw paper towel ones and ones made with little 3 oz. paper cups, but nothing with a paper bag. I am learning you can make almost anything with a paper bag. I figured I would start with the bag and some of my scrapbook paper just like I used for the zebra and lions we did. I love scrapbook paper. It feeds my desire for perfection.

The scrapbook paper I use all the time for our animal crafts.

After I did all the alligator paper on the bag, I envisioned what I needed to do, not knowing if it would really work. I had to use some card stock paper on the inside to make it stronger. I did one staple in the center of the open end of the bag to create the head shape.

Did you know that crocodiles cannot stick out their tongues? We thought that was a cool thing to know so we included a pink tongue inside the paper bag alligator. Personally, I think the finished product came out really well.

I found the clothespin alligators online. They seemed easy, but after painting and 3 hours of crafts, my daughter actually got burnt out.

I wonder what we will do next time. Does anyone know of a curriculum that revolves around just animals or is all arts and crafts based? I would love to find one. I may need to find unit studies on each animal to create my own curriculum that can incorporate arts and crafts. The thing that I found was that there weren’t many animal unit studies that were isolated to one animal. I found unit studies that were of cats, dogs and horses. The rest were more about categories like sea creatures, farm animals, amphibians, reptiles, jungle, etc… She would like very specific animals, like mountain lions. If anyone knows of a good source or has ideas, please let me know.

© 2012 www.obsessedanalyst.blogspot.com All Rights Reserved.

I Surprise Myself

2012-04-24T13:47:00.001-07:00

Since my oldest daughter goes to school now, she loses hair clips all the time. She is growing out a short layered pixie style hairdo that she wanted about 1 1/2 years ago. Growing out super short layers is no easy task. Her hair is always in her eyes. In order to keep some of it out of the way for school she wears barrettes, bobby pins, and/or hair clips. They seem to disappear as fast as I can buy them. I got most of them at the dollar store, but it was adding up.

Then there is my other daughter who is growing out her hair, thank goodness not layers. I put her hair up in a ponytail most of the time. She would prefer I braid it or do something fancy. The fanciest thing I can do is a basic Topsy Tail and/or put a bow in her hair. Yes, I have an original Topsy Tail tool from 1992. I still haven’t used it to its full potential.

I am hair challenged. I grew up with a curling iron in my hand. I can curl the heck out of any hair, but can’t braid or anything else to save my life. Actually I can braid embroidery floss. I used to make braided bracelets all the time when I was young. Which reminds me, do you remember the bubble gumwrappers that you could fold and make into bracelets? I found out recently that making those is doing origami. Who knew?

My point in all of that is that I can braid, but have a hard time with hair and don’t have the patience to do it on a live wiggly child.

Anywho, I know that God has a sense of humor by blessing us with two little girls that have gorgeous features that are best displayed with their hair out of the way. People tell me, “it is easy, just keep trying and you will get it.” I guess I shouldn’t say I can’t do it, it is more like I can’t do it well enough, so I don’t like it. Heck I have a hard enough time just trying to get a part straight. I can’t do jig jag parts either. I see absolutely adorable hairdos on other little girls that I couldn’t dream of doing.

What, did these people have Barbie head dolls to practice on all the time? I wasn’t really a doll kind of girl. I preferred Barbie’s camper instead of her. I liked to play card games, puzzles, house, tea parties with stuffed animals, color, and read. When I did get a doll, I tried to use my Mom’s curling iron on it. It was the biggest smelly mess ever. I have a memory of that smell, it was awful.

Hair after the playground.

I have decided that no matter what the girls’ hair may look like, a nice hair clip or bow detracts from the mess. So if the hair clips or bows are pretty and/or unique enough no one will notice the messy hair. Do you think that is a good strategy?

Hence my latest project: making hair accessories. It is less expensive than even the dollar store. Plus I have put an order into Grandma to please send supplies. Also, I have an amazing friend who does awesome crafts that is going to make me some bows too. I figured we can never have too many hair accessories with two active little girls!

You Tube has been a tremendous help. I never would have known how to do anything without You Tube. See my latest creations, not bad for a very awkward crafter in training. Now if I could just figure out how to stop burning my fingers. I swear I end up with more glue all over my fingers too than on the craft item. I keep something (plate or paper towel) by me to keep all the peeled glue in until I am ready to throw it away. Making these I went through 3 glue sticks. I did all these in one afternoon and evening which I won’t do that again. I think craft sessions need to be less than 3 hours.

If I keep up creating all these craft items I may have to take back my declaration that I am not a “craft person”. I think I have at least called a truce about my hating crafts. Maybe I can inspire others to do crafts for the sake of the children. Well, it helps our budget too since we have a much lower income now.

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Getting Connected Takes Time

2012-04-07T11:24:00.003-07:00

First Day of School

After much thought, prayer and reflection, we have sent our oldest daughter, who will be 7 years old in June, back to school. She will not be homeschooled for the next 6 weeks. We found a small private Christian school here that follows the Carden Method of teaching which seems somewhat similar to the Charlotte Mason philosophy. As a 1st grade student, she started March 26, 2012 as one of 14 students in the kindergarten/1^st grade class. Next year she may go again where the class is an integrated class of 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th grade students. I think it is a good way for her to be taught at her developmental stage, not based on her age. She can excel in her strengths and get the assistance she needs for her weaker areas. It sounds awesome in theory. We shall see how it is in practice. I think we are doing what is best for her now. So far, she loves going.
Our children have to learn to share, take turns, wait for what they want and realize that other people have needs and moods, too. We felt we were failing at providing those lessons homeschooling our oldest. This daughter of ours has some mental health issues and learning abilities that have made her a challenging child for me to parent, let alone teach. She needs structure, discipline, and role models to facilitate her learning. Our child can't expect always to have people around her who understand her or cater to her every wish. She is beyond strong willed and like me in many ways. We seem experts at pushing each other’s buttons. She frustrates me and I frustrate her. She drains and depletes our energy as parents. Most of the time, it has little to do with homeschool. In Vegas, we had a babysitter who would come at least once a week and play and do crafts with the children while I did errands and shopping. This allowed me enough time to recharge. Now our daughter is watching too much television and doing too many video and computer games so that we can try to regroup and recharge.

When we lived in Vegas, we had a great support system that made life as parents of a challenging child manageable. She had friends she could model and I had friends that listened. We had resources that supported us as parents and homeschooling. There was a homeschool gymnastics program that was a reasonable cost. There was ballet, roller skating, ice skating, regular and consistent park days. There were field trips at least monthly, if not more. There were choices and plenty of times we could get out of the house to learn along with other students and parents. The homeschool community in Vegas is phenomenal. We didn’t realize how awesome it was until we came somewhere that is not as unified a community. There are individuals (like Elissa Wahl), churches and groups in Vegas that have made it their mission to reach out and support parents as homeschoolers. It was never easy teaching my oldest daughter as a parent, but she learned and I stayed sane. There was relative peace in the home.

There was no peace here. Everything was becoming more and more of a struggle. Little to nothing was being accomplished. We were not functioning well as a family. We felt like failures as parents despite prayers and our best effort. Adding schooling onto being responsible and loving parents was not happening. Even with my husband being home and available to assist in anything we needed, it hadn’t gotten any better. In fact, I think it got worse. We barely could get through a dinner devotion. 14 hours a day of trying to be patient, calm and collected while our child of chaos raged about us became too much. Tensions were high and the explosions were the only consistent things. If we didn’t have therapy (PT and psychotherapy) twice a week, I think I would be in a straight jacket.

It really isn’t about schooling so much as it is that we want to be better parents all around. We feel we cannot be the loving role models and parents our children need 24/7 with little to no breaks. Our energy was drained and depleted after just a few hours each day. Now with her being away at school we are only dealing with 4-5 hours of some chaotic behavior during the week. It has been refreshing. I deeply admire those parents who live with children with autism and other abilities. We are still trying to figure out how to do it all. We hope to be ‘good enough’ parents, helping each of our children to fully develop into the person God intended them to be.

I am still homeschooling my youngest, a kindergartner. I will be able to reach out to more homeschoolers and friends over the coming months to establish the support system we need. I'm learning again that it takes time to establish relationships in a community and having our daughter in a good school for now really helps.

We Maybe On Hoarders Soon

2012-03-24T13:45:00.001-07:00

We still are not moved into this house to the level I would like. In fact when I look at certain areas of our home, I think, “This is how hoarders start.” It usually takes us 3-4 months to move into a place. Back in January I posted that we were 75% there. Well it hasn't changed. You would think that after 14 moves in 20 years we would have it down to a system. We do not. I swear it is more chaos each time because we keep adding people and lots of things each time. The goal is for there not to be a single box in the house that isn’t put away for storage or in a closet serving some purpose. The next goal is for at least one car in the garage, if not both. We usually have both cars parked in the garage by the 1^st year.

Corner of 1 Bedroom

Today, I conquered more of the kid’s clothes. I swear it is a weekly battle. I put all the winter clothes in storage bins. I put Spring/Summer outfits together for my youngest. Her sense of style and mine are not compatible. She will wear what she likes and the top and bottom don’t have to even come close to resembling a match. It goes against who I am and it is not the one thing I can compromise. So she can pick whatever outfit she wants out of the vast array of choices matched up in her closet. I have saved all those hangers to make it possible to keep a two piece outfit together. She now has 21 outfits hanging in her closet. I did leave some odd shirts in her dresser drawers along with some very neutral bottoms that could make any combination of ensembles. It didn’t make sense to have empty dresser drawers. Underwear, socks and PJs only take up so much room.

Corner of a 2nd Bedroom

My oldest also has at least 25 different outfits she can coordinate on her own hanging in her closet or in her dresser drawers. I still need to go through all their socks. Although they have 10 inches in height difference, they are only 1 shoe size away from each other. There are still socks in their dresser that they wore 4 shoe sizes ago. I think I will look up what crafts we can do this week with old socks.

I have got to make some time later today for going through all my clothes and shoes. Access to the correct season of clothes and shoes would be an improvement. I really don’t need my fleece in my dresser drawers and boots out front in my closet. I have been hesitating to make the switch because I haven’t found time to get a pedicure. I need a pedicure so I can start wearing my slides and sandals which are still in a box. I can’t wear capris until I can wear my slides and sandals. It is a ridiculous predicament. The start of Spring for me is a pedicure and I just haven’t found the time to go. I’m thinking it needs to be a priority this week.

How embarrasing. I have some work to do today!

If I get my clothes sorted through along with my dresser and closet cleared out, then I can get rid of more boxes. Sigh… I must have a serious shopping problem, otherwise how do I accumulate all this stuff? It will be good to purge all my larger sizes too. It will reinforce that I can never go back.

Hopefully the garage won't look like this much longer.

Now, maybe next weekend, before it gets to hot my husband and I can tackle the garage. Speaking of tackle, I need to run up stairs a few more time, I had a Kit Kat last night while watching a movie.

Let Me Get Real - A Weighty Issue

2012-03-20T00:11:00.000-07:00

I originally wrote a majority of this message back in November 2011. I didn't post it then because I was scared I couldn't stay the course, but I did. So here it is with updates.

This past weekend our Pastor at Canyon Ridge, Kevin Odor, went over discipline. Interesting thing is that Pastor Kevin decided to use the metaphor of losing weight to discuss discipline with money. Oh how I need to hear the message and live it.

As you may have read, God healed the hole in my heart after an amazing worship concert with Michael W. Smith at Canyon Ridge. What an awesome blessing this church was in our lives while we were in Las Vegas. We will miss the role it has played in our spiritual growth, but are assured that God will continue to bless us at our next church, Pantano Christian in Tucson, Arizona.

Anywho, back on the subject of weight loss. With the hole in my heart healed I have to focus on getting the rest of my body on the road to healing too. Despite God’s mighty work with my heart, I am still addicted to food. I know in my heart that I need to eat less and exercise more. As many of you know, it is easy to say, very difficult to do.

“He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.”Proverbs 5:23

I have started my committed journey today, the day after my recovery from a stomach ailment. It is a great jump start since I spent 1 complete day not eating and lost 3 lbs. Of course it wasn’t the best way to start, but you have to start somewhere. Now I have to figure out how to stick to making better choices. I know what I have to do, but dang, it is a minute by minute struggle. Geez, I almost wish I was addicted to some drug or alcohol that could easily be removed from my home. You can’t stop eating. It doesn’t work for very long. I have gallbladder disease too with at least 1 large gallstones of 2 cm. If I let myself get to hungry or eat to much fat my gallbladder lets me know. This requires that I eat snacks and low fat meals. That part is easy, it is keeping all the calories from all those meals and snacks below what I need to lose weight.

One of my biggest obstacles to losing weight is the psychology of it all. I don’t perceive myself as fat until visually presented with it by pictures or by the size of my pants. Although this may sound odd, I do not see my huge self in the mirror. I didn’t become obese until I was an adult. I didn’t struggle with my weight until my twenties. I graduated high school at 125 lbs. I was 115 lbs. when I met my husband. I then rapidly gained over 50 lbs. over 1 winter in Watertown, NY after being on Norplant (implanted birth control) and experiencing cabin fever due to over 390 inches of snow in one season. I later learned I suffer from Seasonal Affect Disorder. The rest of the weight gradually crept on year after year of inactivity and overeating.

Myself and My Mom in Feb. 2011

My immediate family is obese. My father, 5’ 8” tall, died at the age of 56 over 300 lbs. My brother, 5’ 8” tall, at the age of 42 died weighing at least 400 lbs. My Mom, 5’5” tall, is morbidly obese too. My worst weight, being 5’6” tall, at one time was 258 lbs. really, not over or under exaggerating. It is all about the truth and taking off the masks. I have learned that from Mandisa, a great inspiration to me.

“Buy the truth and do not sell it: get wisdom, discipline and understanding.” Proverbs 23:23

I have so many excuses it is ridiculous. Since birth I became physically ill when I exerted myself. I spent 33 years with a gaping hole in my heart that made me very ill whenever I did aerobic exercise. Can you imagine the obstacle that presents the mind. I still dream and see myself as the healthy weight I was as a young adult. I have spent decades swallowing my emotions. I have a mental illness that requires I take medications, one of which results in weight gain. I spend hours sitting in front of a computer. I am home most hours of the day homeschooling my two daughters. I suspect one of our daughters has food neophobia so I have to keep some of the few foods (bread, cereal bars, crackers, cheese, peanut butter, and cereal) she will eat in the house. Foods that I like to overeat.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

Although moving was stressful and we haven’t fully settled in, I didn’t gain any weight. This is the first move in 15 years where I didn’t gain weight. I am down 1 pant size and that helps motivate me. I have a few new wardrobe items left over from lighter days. Not as many as I like, but enough to not have to constantly wear baggy things.

My Mom lost weight this summer and showed up this winter weighing 40 lbs. less. At 70 years old, if she can do it, I best get off my ass and move. I have to confess that with her being within 20 lbs. of me, I have added motivation. Oh, yes, I got Momma Drama issues.

I am looking at some aspects of the 12 step programs, praying constantly and doing a bible study. I am doing some yoga, not enough, and trying not to spend as much time sitting. I still cannot walk much due to back and feet issues, but I do run up and down the stairs here at home. My own really short interval training.

So glad that I kept this blog write up from November and can post it knowing I have made progress. I will continue on this journey to healthy choices. I’d appreciate your prayers, thanks.

Those Girls Do Like to be Crafty

2012-03-15T20:24:00.002-07:00

Hopefully writing this won't be as traumatic as the experience. This afternoon we did a craft. This was a major production for me. I dislike any craft that requires manual cutting, massive quantities of glue, and multiple materials. I am a perfectionist, crafts conflict with my nature. However, since I am homeschooling two girls that are 5 and 6 years old, I feel I am obligated to do it. It feeds one aspect of my needing to be the 'perfect' homeschool Mom since I struggle so much with the discipline needed to homeschool. I really would love to be one of those parents who embraces unschooling. I kinda did that the first year and in the end didn't feel I covered what I needed. After my first unschooled year my girls couldn't tell you the day of the week, months of the year or count past 20.
This year it was going to be different. I am using Math U See, Hooked on Phonics, and My Father's World. My Father's World has not worked as well as I had hoped. I have radically modified it to where we are only using the Bible Reader and Workbooks. The key is that Math U See is working fabulously and my girls read better than most of their peers. Anywho I digress.

My girls like crafts. If I did a craft every afternoon with them I would their hero. Now don't get me wrong, we do something art related everyday because they love it. Mostly we use markers, crayons, colored pencils or pens to draw. We will paint at least once a week too. I go through a ream of white copy paper each month. I use tons of recyled pictures to print out my coupons.

Yesterday I whipped out my Cricut (I don't scrapbook) for the first time since we moved and created some Shamrocks and spring pictures. Just involves paper, scissors and glue. The simplest craft activities I can handle. However, the Cricut yesterday led to asking when we would do other crafts like we did in Vegas like with the babysitter. Oh how I miss our babysitter who would do crafts with the girls. Desperately would love to find one, but alas I am finding we can't recreate the past.

Our Cricut Creations.

Last night we found two crafts online that I thought would be somewhat reasonable to handle. A zebra picture from Busy Bees Kid Crafts and a lion with a mouth to feed from Learners in Bloom. What would I do without creative people on the internet?

Shoe print from a mary jane style Croc.

The paper I used for the shoe print & the body of the paper bag.

We started by painting the paper plates yellow. Set those aside to dry while we glued a body for the lion, picked out eyes and traced a shoe for the zebra head. I thought I was being clever and saving time by using zebra print paper (scrapbook pad). All that the zebra needed was some cutting and glue. Well unfortunately my girls are developing my perfectionism. I think we went through 10 ears, 5 manes, and 4 noses. My oldest got so frustrated that it wasn't coming together the way she wanted it to look that she quit. It didn't help that I was doing work for my youngest. I told her if she was patient I would help her too, but she decided it was her craft and that she didn't need help. She is stubborn like I am. We struggle with each others temperments. So she quit doing the zebra and joined us again when we went back to the lion.

With the lion my girls decided that it needed the mark on its forehead like Simba got from Rafiki, the baboon in the Lion King. I was fine with that until I figured out that in working with finishing the rest of the lion I kept getting orange paint on me. Why did I keep running into issues with the orange paint. Well I didn't think through the whole open mouth on the paper plate and paper lunch bag thing. They drew the mouths on, but I had to cut them out. There is no easy way of having a 5 or 6 year old put a hole in the middle of a paper plate and paper bag to have it look the way they want it. So I brought out the big guns, a box cutter. I didn't want to put holes in anything other than the plate and bag. I got a piece of cardboard to put underneath. I thought I was a genius. Little did I know that the box cutter must be dull and once you paint a paper plate it isn't so easy. So since the kids had painted on the orange before I did the holes, it was a mess. Anywho, in the end the kids adore the lions. They are running around the house looking for 'food' to feed the lions. This is when those Little People come in handy. Kids are having a blast playing King of the Jungle and occasionally breaking into scenes from the different Lion King movies.

Paper plate lion and shoe print zebra.

Other than my achy back from standing over the table for over an hour, I survived. Well the orange paint along with little pieces of paper all over the table and floor don't thrill me. Overall though it was a good afternoon doing a craft. Will I want to do it again? Not anytime soon.

My oldest daughter and I were out having Mommy and Me time today. As his special time with our other daughter my husband decided to do a craft with our youngest. She wanted a zebra who eats like her lion. I was so incredibly impressed. Take a look at the finished product. What a great Dad!

Zebra who can 'eat'

The Really Complete Tucson Update

2012-03-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

We moved to Tucson and if it was a successful move or not still remains to be seen. My husband was officially retired from the Air Force, March 29, 2012.
It isn't exactly the move I envisioned. We have only connected with very few previous friends. It seems most of my previous friends are only through Facebook. I guess being gone for 3 years you find who are your real friends. The painful part of it all is that although their children all go to school, the Moms hang out for Mom Night Outs and I have not been asked to be a part of that group or been invited. I'm going to stick with the idea that it is because I homeschool, so they must think I have become a weirdo or something. I don't want to think it is because there IS something wrong with me, nope denial is more comfortable.

We live in the best school district in Arizona, literally. I think that maybe why the homeschool community here isn't as strong as it was in Vegas. There are few extracurricular activities that take place during the traditional school day. There isn't a $6/per class gymnastics here. There is no ice skating at all since the only rink here went out of business. In the last 3 months there has only been 1 field trip opportunity. The elementary co-op class we attend (K-3rd grade) is very traditional in it's structure with 20 children and 1 official parent in charge. The parent (bless her heart) has no background in education other than being a homeschool teacher. The parents are supposed to remain on site to help and oversee their child's behavior. With 20 children, there is rarely more than 2 other parents there, myself included.

For the homeschool group we belong to there is a P.E. class most Fridays at a local park. Again, it is very traditional in that the children are divided by age with my children's class being ages 4 to 6 year olds. It is a real struggle for my oldest daughter who is the size of a 9 year old (CDC growth chart). The parents do stay and wait, most sit in groups. If you are new, you have no idea where to sit and the groups make no attempt to reach out and welcome new members. It doesn't help that most sit in a circle with camp chairs and blankets. I didn't bring or even own a camp chair and can not sit on the ground for more than 10 minutes. I attempted to break into one of the groups, but after an initial self introduction, stood there feeling very excluded. However, when my husband attended in my place, they went out of their way to invite him to sit in a group even giving him a chair! Considering my husband is a wallflower in brand new social situations, I took this news very hard. I realize my husband is very good looking, but really, did I act like an alien?

We attended one playground gathering. We arrived and I surveyed the groups of women standing together and chatting. No one must have recognized me from the 4 previous P.E. classes I had attended. Eventually I found an opportunity to walk over and introduce myself, but then found myself listening to conversations that I was not included in. After standing awhile I went and sat down by myself. Then the other Moms must have finally gotten tired of standing and sat with me. It was the only bench with seats in proximity to the play set.

I watched my girls play together most of the time. Finally my oldest was playing with the older girls there, 8 years and older, but as soon as they found out how old she was, they excluded her. Then I listened to two Moms talk about the drama going on between two of the nine year olds that were 'best' friends. The one was jealous that she was playing with other children. Then they gossiped about another Mom who was not there. This is supposed to be a Christian homeschool group. Eventually my children found a very nice girl to play with and they seemed to get along great. She was 6 years old like my oldest daughter. All three of them played well. When it came time to leave, I discovered that one nice little girl wasn't even part of our homeschool group. Sigh, so even the children are so used to each other being friends that they find it hard to include new ones.

I am thinking we need to involve ourselves in a homeschool group that is either very new or less traditional.

On the bright side, one of the main reasons for returning to Tucson is working out. Both my children were adopted from the Arizona Foster Care system and have some abilities that are unique to their biological history and trauma. The girls are back in Physical Therapy with Mary O'Connell to work with their motor skills challenges and sensory integration. My oldest and I are in weekly therapy together to work on our attachment to each other. My youngest has an appointment with a Developmental Pediatrician at the end of this month. The oldest will see her again next month. I'm going to see if the Developmental Pediatrician recommends we continue with music therapy, the only decent service we were able to find in Vegas.

We are working with a HUD counselor to see about getting our payment reduced on our 6.125% interest rate mortgage on a house that is worth at least $40k less than what we owe on the house.

The medical care here is better since I can be referred off base to civilian specialist. Although, there are syringomelia, until I have another MRI to see if it is growing. Despite the monthly insurance premium and co-pays we are not used to, it is nice to know we have access to much better care.

Oh, we love our family (an uncle and a cousin) here and church too. So all in all everything is okay and I'm sure it will get even better over time. I just have come to realize it is almost like moving to a new place all over again. Now, my next order of business is to find a good babysitter. We miss Hannah in Vegas.

Where Oh Where Have My Items Gone...

2012-01-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

...where oh where can they be?

It has been one month since we arrived in Tucson. We are moved in about 75%. There are still boxes that we haven't unpacked, some we haven't gotten to and others we have decided we don't need right now. Of course there are the items I would like to have that we can't find. How do you loose something in a move? Well, the packers pack the boxes and mark them with what the major contents are and what room they are from. Unfortunately what the packer decides is the major contents and what I would think are major are two different things. We are still looking for a box containing our bedroom lamps. We have the shades, but no lamps. There is no box labeled lamps. The only unopened boxes for our room are labeled shoes and books. We opened the large shoe box and only see shoes. I didn't intend to open the book boxes because we usually do those last. Plus, if we move soon I see no reason to create more work by unloading and then packing the books up again.

Whenever we move we watch the packers and carry our own Sharpies around adding our own lists and/or comments about the contents. Since this move wasn't organized and at one point had 4 people packing our contents, there was lots of room for gaps in the information listed on the boxes. I'm still trying to figure out where the heck the rugs are for my bathroom. Tile floors are chilly and I could really use them at this time of year. All the boxes labeled bathroom and linens have been opened. So where are they? It is any ones guess. Maybe labeled 'garage' since we still have several of those not opened. It could be labeled 'kids toys' since that would make sense. Children can turn rugs or lamps into toys, right.

Well, what is important is that we are at functioning level now. We aren't living out of suitcases anymore and I don't feel like I am living in a hotel. We spent this weekend cleaning the downstairs so at least if someone comes over I won't be totally humiliated. Upstairs is still a cluttered mess with some boxes. I won't even mention the garage.

Both of us are still searching for a new career position. Whoever can get hired first is the winner. I am supposed to figure out how long we can keep our house while we are both unemployed, but I haven't done it yet. I would like to stay in denial about our impending financial decline. With the look of our garage we maybe thinking we will loose the house sooner rather than later. My husband is hoarding empty boxes and paper. I don't look in the garage very often. I would like to think that my denial is actually optimism.

The Least Smooth Move Ever!

2011-12-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

Since we are in the military, normally the packing and physical move are the lesser concerns. You set dates and the military contracts and pays a local mover to do and/or coordinate your move. In the past it has been relatively easy. The moving company comes in and estimates how long it will take to pack your household goods. They tell you what day they will start packing and the day the truck will take your items away to your destination. In previous moves, at least 8 that I can name off the top of my head, the schedules were met and we have had relatively event free moves. They have been fairly smooth on the part of the moving companies, even those that where cross country.

Our packers were due to start Monday, December 5. It was estimated that it would be a 1 day to pack. Maybe a few hours on the second day depending on how many packers they were using on the first day. The truck was scheduled to pick up our items Wednesday in Vegas and deliver in Tucson on the following Monday. I should have known we were in trouble when the two packers didn't show up Monday until 11 AM with lots of excuses. I learned more than I wanted to know about the moving business.

The company who was hired by the military to do our move, Apex, subcontracted out the job to another company, Southern Nevada Movers, who doesn't want the liability of employees moving people's items, so they subcontracted the job out to an individual contractor. That individual did not have the extra resources to buy the materials needed to do the job. The check Southern Nevada Movers wrote to pay him for previous work couldn't be cashed. He could only cash the check at Southern Nevada Movers bank. I guess Southern Nevada Movers has a very poor reputation in town because they bounce checks, even payroll checks. So the individual contractor had to wait for their bank to open before he could buy packing materials like boxes, tape and paper. Once he had the cash, he then had to go buy all the materials himself and that is why it took him until 11 AM to arrive. He then discovered that Southern Nevada Movers underestimated how much weight and boxes we were needing for moving, so he ran out of materials around 3 PM. He had come with an assistant, someone he was paying to help him pack our belongings. The two of them had only packed about 1/3 of our items in those 4 hours.

I feel bad for the individual contractor that due to the economy he has to accept less than ideal terms and horrible treatment from a company. What happened was that the military awarded the job to the lowest bidder, based on the maximum weight we are allowed to move based on my husband's rank, Captain. Apex won the contract hypothetically for $8,000 they then turn around and awarded the job to Southern Nevada Movers for say $5,000 and then they turn around and tell the individual contractor they will pay him $3,000 to do it. However, out of that money he has to pay for all the materials, truck, gas, weight station costs and anyone he needs to help him meet the schedule Apex has set up for the contract with the military. All of this he has agreed to before seeing the house, the items of how much weight it will actually be and the conditions. Then he has to deal with a company that doesn't pay and customers that are unhappy.

Our packing wasn't done until Wednesday. The truck came Friday in Vegas to take our items to Tucson. Our truck full of household items didn't arrive at our home in Tucson until 12:30 PM Tuesday, December 13. It was pouring down rain all day and night Tuesday. It was a mess. Since we have retired, I am so glad this is our last military move. I hope we don't have to move again anytime soon.

Is There a Miracle Move in the Works?

2011-11-29T00:16:00.000-07:00

Oh wow, is my procrastination catching up with me now. We are 6 days away from the movers coming to pack our things in boxes. I have a refrigerator full of food, mail I haven’t opened, and addresses I haven’t changed. I still have loads of laundry to do before I even attempt to pack our suitcases. I feel a bit queasy thinking about it, or that could be my gallbladder acting up again. There is probably going to be another break in the blogs for a bit until we get settled again.

I wonder, with the miracle of my holy heart being healed do I deserve peace in other aspects of my life. Well, of course I deserve nothing, but do I have the right to ask for something? I mean really having the hole in my heart close is pretty spectacular. Besides my absolutely beautiful daughters that God is allowing us to parent, I’m not sure what else I could really ask for. Peace on this Earth would be cool.

However, I am experiencing some severe turmoil. I am not resting on the Lord. I hate this feeling of not being prepared. Every moment I spend sitting at the computer, reading, shopping, or watching one TV show, I am beating myself up about not sorting through things or organizing things for the move. I also spend too much time thinking about things that don’t matter at the time. Does God have a limited amount of miracles he gives out per person, per family? Why some people and not others?

I am surprised that I have the “Why me?” question for my healing. With all my accidents, misdiagnosis, mental and physical health issues, I never said, “why me.” I was always of the thought, “why not me?” I have a trust and faith in God that carries me through the trying times. For the most part I am a positive person with a good ability to put on a good face (mask). I trusted He knew what He was doing and eventually it would get better. Now that God has healed the hole in my heart I now wonder, “Why me?” There are so many people with cancers, severe pain and anguish that I think would be so more deserving. The men, women and children who do not have any resources or support, why not them?

What really perplexes me now is how can I ever ask God again for anything? I am having a hard time preparing myself for this move from Vegas to Tucson. How will we bring in income? How will we pay the bills? Will I get my act together quickly enough in Tucson to be able to get Christmas decorations up before Christmas? Will I be able to get my girls the #1 gifts on their Christmas lists despite them being out of stock all over the country? Does it really matter?

I have been avoiding some really necessary tasks. I keep telling myself to cast my cares upon the Lord. I just know that I am not doing that as much as I could. I don’t doubt that I still need Him. Deep breaths…. I just don’t know if it is fair of me to ask, like God has some finite amount of help He hands out. How absurd is that! Well, I never said it was rational thoughts that I have, random yes, rational, only sometimes. Actually I have obsessive thoughts, analyzing different angles sometimes missing the most obvious. I don't need a miracle to move, just some peace and grace.

In the midst of my philosophical musings, I need to get moving. I will go conquer the laundry. The movers will come even if I am not ready. They will pack dirty clothes, but I have an issues with that so off I go.