an ordinary utopia

let's make a mixtape.

noreply@blogger.com (Jocee) — Sat, 17 Aug 2013 15:49:00 +0000

as for me, i'm not quite ready for summer to end yet. if fall weather wants to come along, it can, but i'd like to keep school at bay for a little while. there are so many things i'd like to do, and a little more than a week to do them. but since the clocks are ticking and the bells are ready to go off, i figured we'd let summer fade into the ocean as it eventually must. so let's make a mixtape. i'll give you number one, and you can go from there.

1. cicadas and gulls - fiest

xx, jocee.

Today: begin. Tomorrow: carry on.

noreply@blogger.com (Megan) — Fri, 26 Jul 2013 14:49:00 +0000

Write that story.
Sing that song.
Meet that goal.

Know "You can build success from previous failure or from previous success but you can’t build success by wishing for it." (x)
Realize that life in unpredictable and anything can happen.
Remember if you never quit, you can never lose.
Begin now the things you always said you'd do.

Today: begin. Tomorrow: carry on.

xo | Megan

currently loving

noreply@blogger.com (Eve Victorie) — Tue, 02 Jul 2013 17:11:00 +0000

i. fresh air hinting of adventure & newness drifting in through my window every morning
ii. daily visits to the park
iii. laughter
iv. magical sunsets
v. morning lattes on the porch
vi. looking forward to a long road trip & two weeks in the sunshine state
vii. having ice cream every day
viii. messy buns, short sleeves, & flip flops
ix. good time with family & friends
x. making happy memories to last a lifetime

what are your current loves?
eve

my love goes free

noreply@blogger.com (Abby) — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 23:12:00 +0000

you're a bird//
with a pretty mouth//
you're a bird//
with songs to shout//
and the same refrain//
continues//
singing out//
if you love her //
let her go//
if you love her//
let her go//
she sings beautiful//
and slow//
a tune//
that only caged birds know//

my love goes free | jon foreman

,
abby

knit bow headband tutorial

noreply@blogger.com (Abby) — Wed, 26 Jun 2013 21:48:00 +0000

Most of you probably know I'm really in to knitting/crocheting, and I've done a few tutorials for my craft blog (also for crafting magazines). Eve suggested I so some tutorials for jewelry on AOU (after my Luna necklace), and even though this isn't jewelry, I thought it would be fun. :-)

BOW

(size 7 needles)

co 13, k in seed st until piece measures 5 1/4 in.

BOW BAND

co 5, k in seed st until piece measures 2 1/2 in.

HEADBAND

(size 10 needles)

co 15, k every row for about 15 in (garter st stretches, but adjust to your head size)

Seed stitch is one of my favorites! It's such a unique pattern with a very simple repeat. k, p, k, p, k, p...

Fold the bow accordion style, sew through once to secure, then sew the band in the middle, leaving a tail.

Sew the two ends of the headband together.

Sew the bow to the headband (over your seam) and you're done!

abby

i feel like i should post this here.

noreply@blogger.com (Jocee) — Sat, 22 Jun 2013 19:40:00 +0000

original photo

i only just recently got my life together, and this is the verse that God used to minister to me. i feel like lately, a lot of us have been going through some horrid times. and the best part is, when it's over, you breathe easy, and you know that with His help, you can do anything. so this is matthew 11:28, and i hope it speaks the you the way it spoke to me. i hope He holds you the way He held me.

xx,

jocee.

holding it together

noreply@blogger.com (Eve Victorie) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:00:00 +0000

Amateurs are overconfident.
The professionals are scared to death.
-- quote via pinterest --

You know those people who always seem to have it together? It's as if their business/blog is coming along nicely & they always seem so confident. But guess what? They have the same doubts and worries as everyone else. They just manage to smile their way through the hard times, laugh away the awkward, & jump up after every fall. They keep pushing forward no matter what. They're the professionals.

If you're worried about starting upon a new venture, don't let fear hold you back.

Let overconfidence... because it's probably a sign that you're not ready yet.

hugs, eve

argh argh argh

noreply@blogger.com (Abby) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 02:32:00 +0000

I'm not exactly sure how to start this post.

(Don't worry, I'm not leaving too! Ha.)

I guess that's how I'll start it? Okay.

These past few weeks have left me more confused than I've ever been... my emotions have been played with, my self esteem keeps going up and up only to fall even lower, opportunities that I'm not 100% sure about keep popping up, I keep thinking I finally have it all together, only to get shaken up and drop everything once more.

I struggle so much with confidence. It's not that my own confidence is so important for me to have, but I think it's important to at least do what I'm doing without cowering every second. I'm always so scared of everything I'm doing (photography, writing, knitting, creating) that I feel like I shouldn't be doing it. But at the same time I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. And that's why it's confusing.

One day in particular last week left me not only worried and scared, but hurt and lonely. It started out great. But it didn't end great. People hear things they assume are true. They tell me things they don't necessarily mean, and I take them to heart, playing their words over and over in my head, deciphering them and applying them to my every move. I can't sleep, I doubt every ability I thought I had, I hate myself, I just feel so low. I feel like I can't actually do anything anymore - that I'm like a photographer with no hands, or a writer with no brain. YOU CAN'T DO IT my insides scream. IT WON'T WORK YOU LOSER I keep telling myself.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy or nice messages telling me it's going to be okay. Actually, I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just feel alone in the world. And as selfish as this sounds, I kind of hope other people out there feel low and have doubts like I do every now and then too...

My life isn't bad. I have a good life, a very good life. But even though good things are happening right now, bad things are happening too...

My bad for not posting in like 9 months. My brain is too muddled to think of an excuse right now.

abby

and so i say g'bye.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 21:07:00 +0000

i don't like goodbyes. they're so sad and final. but today, i must face the heartache and say goodbye. i really do love blogging. writing has always been my niche and blogging was a perfect outlet for me. and then to be a part of AOU made me feel beyond honored.

but i'm tired, exhausted...because i'm always writing about the same sort of things. my life has become so mellow and boring. my photography has been completely forgotten because i've become so uninspired and lazy. i don't want that anymore.

so i'm saying goodbye to blogging; on both AOU and my personal blog. i'm going to take a huge step back and reevaluate what is important to me, what my passions are, what my style is, and, most importantly, why to all of those things.

i don't know how long i'll be gone. maybe a year, maybe two. maybe only six months. but for however long it is, i will not come back until i know, in my heart, what my real passions are. because if i don't know, i can't give my best; and without my best, my endeavors are useless.

so farewell, my dears. i will miss this place. but it is for the best that we part ways here.

jocee, abby, gracie, eve, megan, and bleah...i wish you the very best in all that you do. you're beautiful and you will all go so far with your passions. good luck and happy day everyone!

+candace+

we all grow up
and we all leave home;
but to stay in one place
would be to hinder the sparks
of truth, passion, dignity, and talent.
because without walking,
how can one ever go any place?
learn by always, always going;
walking, seeking, finding...

Bleah Briann Patterson. That's my name. For what it's worth.

noreply@blogger.com (Bleah Briann//Lovely ) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 04:46:00 +0000

this is not the kind of post they brought on board to write. I do assume they'll be glad with it's conclusion.

I haven't felt enough in such a very long time you see, I haven't felt it. I have not been okay in so long I couldn't keep count -- always thinking the light would be at the end of the tunnel to realize the walls were closing in and this wasn't a tunnel at all but i was buried alive and there was light. not for me, just an allotted amount of a breath and a painful end.

so here I am, pitiful and sad and ready for a boat load of anons telling me I'm pitiful and sad, well let me just say that I know. Maybe I am depressed or maybe I am just done. but i am done. God is the only confidant I have and I'm learning to be okay with that.

I am very much done with all of this.
This will be the last time you hear from me for awhile. At least here. I'll be at my home blog until the end of the summer, then I will disappear, and I'm happy to do so. Because I'm tired. And I'm done pretending to be something that I'm not and accepting this coffin.

So I bid you a adieu.

the gift list

noreply@blogger.com (gracie) — Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:20:00 +0000

i am on the daily hunt for eucharisteo:
thanksgiving, grace, joy.

my moleskine pages are full of an ongoing list of eucharisteo. the messy-gritty, the obvious beauty, the God-glory surrounding me in little brother's laugh, in the purple-flower plants, in the room covered in clothes waiting to be packed away.

it is soothing for my soul, to name these gifts, the everyday joy and pain. it has opened my eyes to the world, and i am searching, ever searching, for the little blessings that make of the bigger picture of what we call life. i notice more now, because i am constantly wanting to notice. i want to reach this dare of one thousand gifts, and now i see things i never noticed before, things i would never have counted as a gift.

1. morning light dancing on my sleepy face
3. sweet memories of camp hanging on my wall
11. melodies sung by nature
19. the fear and excitement of growing up
22. crooked smiles
29. cheap film cameras
34. bare feet on concrete floor
40. white fluff and soft pink and baby blue painted across the sky
68. melting chocolate on fingers

these are the gifts of the everyday that i have come to notice and cherish with these new eyes. every gift listed fills my heart full of joy and grace and thanksgiving- eucharisteo.
have you taken the dare to list one thousand gifts?
g.

go to the park

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 31 May 2013 23:42:00 +0000

Maybe you're 12, or maybe you're 19, but you should still go to the park and play with your friends.

xo | M

something that broke my heart

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 May 2013 23:35:00 +0000

We'd been walking up in the city that night, basking in the evening air that was almost summer. The cityscape soon melted into the section of town where the homeless congregate on the half-wooden-half-metal benches. It was the part of the city that made my stomach churn. There was always somebody with headphones stuck in their ears, singing at the top of their lungs. Or somebody walking the street, shouting at the world for all their troubles. Always a sad out of tune melody wafting into the cracks in the sidewalk. That day, there was a man and a woman standing on the sidewalk, talking. Homeless and broken. I watched him wrap his arms around her and say
"it's okay, it'll get better."

We walked past them with our expensive cameras and new shoes
I didn't even hear him. His words were repeated to me later.
But when I heard them, my heart slowly broke in two.

-M

maybe

noreply@blogger.com (Eve Victorie) — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:00:00 +0000

“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

I sit and think sometimes,

of days gone by.

Of the countless people,

who lived before.

Some of them are remembered,

& some are to remain forever forgotten.

But they all lived & laughed & cried,

& they all left behind something.

A legacy,

which helped shape the world

for better or for worse.

No matter how little,

they all left one behind.

The world is what it is today

because of all these people

and all these faces,

most of whom I'll never know.

I sit and think sometimes,

of my legacy.

I don't need my name in history textbooks.

I just want my legacy to make a difference

in this world.

Maybe I can't control what weather

future generations will have.

But I want to make sure the soil I leave behind

is clean.

And maybe if more of us sat down and thought

about our legacies,

really cared.

Then maybe, just maybe,

the soil our generation leaves behind

will be fertile

instead of rocky.

Maybe.

xx, e

poetry

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 17 May 2013 16:08:00 +0000

AN APOLOGY
I once said, “I will grow up and never sleep
I will leave vegetables on my plate
I’ll have ice cream and cookies everyday
I will swim in the lake before it’s warm

I will wear my pajamas all day long
I will not brush my teeth in the morning
I will own a farm and a thousand horses
I will wear the same shirt for six days straight.”

But, youngster, growing up isn’t what you think
Your eyes will droop and you’ll sleep anyway
You eat the vegetables and avoid the sugar
(they said it’ll make your body ugly)

The lake water is full of dirt and grime
You have to dress nice so they’ll all love you
Your breath must be fresh, so they don’t hate you
(even you will learn to despise sugar-coated teeth)

You stopped loving horses and long for the city
And the stench of an old shirt’ll make you cringe.
Dear youngster, I’m sorry being older isn’t perfect.
Things are different than you thought they would be.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey, remember me? it's Megan Kristine, back as an AOU author. I'm so very excited to be back writing with fab team here. I love this blog and it's mission and WOW! you are all so amazing. See you next friday. -M

breaking out because i want to

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 13 May 2013 21:41:00 +0000

i don't normally write posts like this but i feel the need to speak my heart on something that's been troubling me lately.

i'm tired of blogging. don't worry, i'm not leaving AOU or taking a break or anything. but honestly, truly, i'm tired of blogging. why? because i feel like it's become so cliche and mundane and almost a joke. (and this is all about my own personal blogging habits.) i've fallen into this river of doubt where i think i have to meet everyone's expectations and tastes and if i don't, i've failed. failed as a writer, a stylist, a photographer, a thinker...i've failed. it's an awful feeling. it's crushing.

i'm not here to proclaim my insistence for a revolution. but i am saying this: i want to break out of this box of mundane so badly, i think i'm going to explode if i don't. i'm drowning in this sea because i'm fighting the current. i need to just swim to shore and get out of this water altogether. so, here's my new intention for my life in blogging:

i'm going to break out of the box because i want to. not because i think it will please my followers. not because it will grab the attention of readers around the world. but because i want to. simple as that. i want to do what i want, what i feel led to do, simply because i want to. maybe all this is just some silly rambling that i tend to produce on common occasion. but it's real to me; this feeling of inadequacy is real and it's tearing me down. so here's to me breaking out. excuse any random fluctuations in my style and habits, that's just me finding my place in life.

xoxo,
candace

perfection

noreply@blogger.com (Eve Victorie) — Thu, 09 May 2013 22:56:00 +0000

I am a perfectionist. I have been a perfectionist for a long, long time. I like my room to be spotless & clean, the pillows on my bed to be fluffed 'just so,' and the books on my shelf to be arranged according to height & author. Every time I walk past a front yard dotted with giant dandelions I get a sudden urge to go grab some gardening gloves. I have had germophobia ever since I read a science book when I was seven & I wash my hands all the time. I cannot imagine life without my daily planner at hand.

But here's the thing... I get frustrated sometimes. I get frustrated because sometimes things don't go according to plan. MY plan. Sometimes I focus too much on doing things perfectly & 'just so.' But life isn't like that. Sometimes getting dirty is not a choice. No matter how much I plan, something unexpected will always pop up.

The spontaneous things in life, I believe those are God's way of saying, "Hey, you're not in charge. You're not the one planning out your life. I am. Just trust me." Sometimes we get too caught up in ourselves that we forget who it is that's really in charge. We need to remember that God holds the reins, not us. That's not to say that we should just sit around because "Well, we're not in charge anyways so we'll just let our lives unfold & if God wants something to happen He can make it happen by Himself." Ummm... no. That's actually called laziness. We still need to work hard & do our very best at everything. BUT we need to remember that we can't achieve perfection. Not in this life.

We need to embrace the spontaneous & the dirty & the trials & the pain. God sent them for a reason. To shape, to teach, & to grow us so we can become who He made us to be.

Don't ever forgot that, okay?
hugs, eve

miss me

noreply@blogger.com (Bleah Briann//Lovely ) — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:43:00 +0000

i'm going to be taking a little break from blogging altogether (on my own blog as well) for a little while, well -- for about a month. i'll be back on the third of june though. don't forget me. i'll be back. let's make sure to start of summer great in my absence!

xx,
bleah

untitled.

noreply@blogger.com (gracie) — Wed, 01 May 2013 22:11:00 +0000

so, um, hi there.
i like you. a lot.
i never saw it coming, though, this attraction to you.
when we met so many months ago,
you were just a stranger to me.
but then, every time i saw your face
and talked to you, you grew on me.
somehow you weaved your way
into my young mind and
twisted yourself around my heart.
i'm comfortable around you. i'm not afraid
to be silly in front of you, which is
strange and very rare for me. i don't even understand
why i like you. sure, you are kind, funny, smart, and witty.
but, i guess, i... i just don't know.
g.

silence

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:42:00 +0000

i just need silence right now...Lord, please help me think clearly...

This goodbye.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 05:00:00 +0000

This goodbye will be one of the hardest I will ever have to tell.
Where is the 'good' in any bye?
Today, will be my final day posting on An Ordinary Utopia.

It has been an amazing few months. Only a few months, have a been here, but I feel I shouldn't be here.
Lots of changes, and beautiful appearances have been made in my life, leaving little time to share those experiences with those who care most here on this blog.

Though I leave, I do not believe AOU is just a blog. AOU is a remembrance, of those memories that which need to be documented for those who look for hope in the lovely, great, possible, and ordinary.
AOU is a collection of scrapbooks of people who search for more.
I have found what I was meant to find here on this blog, and since I have taken all that I need, I will say goodbye and leave more for others who need it.

So, this is farewell. I wish everyone who wishes to read this post, every little desire of peace, safety, love, and sparkle. Keep in touch my little butterflies. I hope one day, if not yet already, you'll be able to spread your wings and fly.

Stephanie.

hold on

noreply@blogger.com (Eve Victorie) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 04:01:00 +0000

hold on || by eve victorie from ordinaryutopia on 8tracks Radio.

Spring calls out to you. It sends a breeze into your room from the open window. You inhale the fresh, raw scent of newness, of change. You want nothing more than to run outside & enjoy yourself. Just sit on the grass for hours upon hours with a lovely book. Stare at the wonderful blue that is the sky above. But you can't. Schoolwork & assignments are waiting to be finished.

Here's a little something to help you hold on, just a little longer. Summer will be worth it, darling.

hugs, eve

i like living (though sometimes i won't admit it)

noreply@blogger.com (gracie) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:04:00 +0000

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” - Agatha Christie

life is a curious thing. it can be absolutely miserable, lovely, filthy, daring, gorgeous, and sad all at the same time.
this week has been hard for many people all over the nation. with the horrifying bombing in boston, and just life being life. it's hard.
sometimes, life just plain sucks. this time, as a nation, is one of those times, and my heart is heavy. but even through all of this, as cliche as this might sound, i know that God has this grand plan for all of our lives, all of us. and every little thing that goes on, good or bad, happens for a reason. we each have a set amount of days before the end, though we don't know what our number may be. and that reason is enough to keep me going, to keep on living and breathing and moving the world. because tomorrow could be my last, and i don't want to look back on my life and think of all of the things i could have done, but what i did do. and i want to see God smile and hear him say to me, "well done, my child. well done." that is my goal, my inspiration for living.
so basically, no matter what happens tomorrow, next week, or next month, just remember to rise up and attack each and every single day with enthusiasm, and forget about how horrible you think the days ahead might be. remember that just to be alive is a grand thing indeed, and all things have a purpose.
g.

if only you knew

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 00:19:00 +0000

sometimes it's like you understand me. like you get my innermost thoughts and absolute feelings. but i'm starting to wonder if you really do. if you ever did. you've begun pushing me way just as i was starting to open up to you. you say i confuse you. i say i'm sorry. you say it's alright. but i don't think you realize that it's really not alright. the way we keep at this mind game just isn't good. we both know what's going on here. you're falling for me. the way i fell for you a long time ago. and here i am, waiting and waiting for you to say something. but you say nothing because you don't know. how much i care for you. how much i still like you.

the letter i never sent him

noreply@blogger.com (Bleah Briann//Lovely ) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 03:31:00 +0000

Dear Sir,

I am this person. I am this young and capable person full of dreams and goals accompanied by the combination of drive and talents necessary to fulfill these goals. Just the same as anyone else I am capable of success, I have no handicaps and I have the skill and the tenacity to be everything that I’ve always wanted to be.

I suppose what I am saying in a poor and round-a-bout way is that I have what it takes, just the same as any other young person, to accomplish amazing and admirable things and there is no reason whatsoever that I shouldn't become some great someone in charge of some great tast to fulfill some great and world changing venture, to be remembered by a great multitude of society without ever having to worry about being forgotten.

Why then, above all of these prospects, is the one most pressing desire of my heart so simply sit in your arms and watch the sunset over the horizon and lay with you as we attempt to make sense of the stars, long into the night until the very same sun rises westward?

Why, about all of these sensible and very prosperous endeavors is one thing that would bring me the greatest joy to make you smile? To learn the rhythm of your voice, to memorize it like my favorite song, obsess over it as if it were my greatest treasure and most prized possession?

Because I love you, and because even under the knowledge that this may only last for one day, or it may very well last for ten thousand days, a solitary moment or an endless amount of moments containing enough memories to fill a library of books – or it may last for some reasonable amount of time that is acceptable and easily predictable for a pair of teenagers.

Either way, no matter how long fate allows this to last and no matter what the outcome may be I will risk it without hesitation. My heart I’ve given to you on a silver platter and now it’s yours to cherish or to break and your whim. I’ve given no thought to the time I must invest in order to give us our very best shot.

You are the one person who right now, in this moment, I want more than anything I’ve ever longed for in my entire life. And if you remember me, my love, then I don’t care who forgets.

Love (I hope so at least),

Bleah