An Organised Mess

Part Deux

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:14:00 +0000

The course was pretty immense to be fair. I was delivered a new shiny Vauxhall Corsa from Drive Assist. I thought the deal was too good to true, and I gulped pretty loudly when I realised for 22 days it would cost me, or the 3rd party's insurer a collosal £1500!

Other than this, one person made my course. Her name shall not be posted publicly because we share something special - but as always, life throws its obstacles in its way!

Throughout the course, I, along with the other guys I work with intended on having a good laugh - as per the norm on a 10 day course! One night, the decision was made to engage in a drinking game and it was a highly innocent thing as far as we were concerned.

The morning after, I was approached and quizzed about the night before. Answering all the questions perfectly well, I was told to carry on with my day. Later that day however, things got very bad indeed - and as the events unfolded, it left me with a scar on my life. And obviously, I won't be naming any names and I won't be going into any detail, simply to protect myself.

All in all, my friend and colleague was sacked and I was on the line of being sacked - instead, the grounded me. But it was all over-the-top I think. Sacking someone who works hard, and considering sacking another hard worker due to a drinking game.

It didn't have any affect on the morning or day after simply because I woke up on time, got to where I needed to be on time, and worked hard as always without any problems whatsoever - but they decided on this occasion they would blow the situation out of the water and make a mountain from a mole hill!

It has been a while...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:14:00 +0000

I notice that I haven't been able to post anything for a good while now, a month or so now maybe? But that shouldn't matter now as I'll put that behind me and try to start posting again as frequently as I used to.

The reason for my "break"? Well, I have been a very busy man, primarily failing at job hunts and spending a lot of time at RAF Cosford working on the flight line. In addition to this, I also crashed my car which caused me a lot of hassle!

I'll start from the 10 day course at RAF Cosford where I was occupied for the start of my break in posting and this starts a special 3-part story which will finish in, funnily enough, 3 posts time!

Now, the drive to Cosford was epic. I had a good friend in the passenger seat and because of the V Festival going on, we chose to head to cosford using the beautiful English countryside and it is worth saying that I haven't seen such beautiful roads before. The sun was shining, and I was doing 60mph on a hillside country lane overlooking a valley.

It really was heaven and both myself and Jack were really enjoying what we were seeing, mutually agreeing on having found the best road in England. Little did I know that this epic journey was about to turn into a Journey from Hell.

Fast forwarding through the journey to the point where we were just 2 minutes away from reaching our destination of RAF Cosford and I was driving down a very familiar road to me, and having known how dangerous the road is, I slowed my speed down to a sensible speed and was keeping happily to the highway code as I drove round blind bends.

Little to my knowledge that on the most dangerous corner of Neachley Lane, a large flatbed truck was reversing around it. I slammed on my breaks but it was just too late and a distint crunch was heard. At this point in time, I sat there thinking "shit." and Jack decided to say "oh Luke..."

We got out to check the damage and the best way to explain the damage to you without boring you phenomenally is to just give you the minimum estimated cost of the repairs for the damage to my vehicle...

£3500.

I maintain that it wasn't my fault, as the truck driver didn't have anyone to marshall him around the blind bend. Twat.

A Barrell of Laughs

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Ok so recently I have been watching a lot of supposed comedy programmes including the TNT Show and You Have Been Watching on Channel 4.

Now, I am sure that comedy is where you see something that makes you laugh and makes you enjoy a certain moment due to a hilarity factor.

I was therefore DISGUSTING and shocked at the TNT Show. What the hell was I watching? I do not know. Something which is on par with watching a box, filled with diarrhoea. I think watching a baby being stabbed to death has far more comedial value than the fucking TNT show.

I will never be watching that ever again and if one day I do by accident, I will realise my error and probably kill myself.

Yes, it was seriously that bad.

To end this, I must apologise for the shorter-than-usual posts. This is due to me being away so I have scheduled this post just to fill the gap of my absense.

See you soon!

Seek and Destroy...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:30:00 +0000

Unmanned Aerial Vehicles. Are they really what is needed for defense today?

Looking from an employment point of view, it is bringing some more jobs to the global career plate. Jobs which are very nicely welcomed in this world which seems to now suffer from a sudden lack of open opportunities. But is it all really green trees and nicely-trimmed gardens? (I just made that saying up)

I do not know why, but I cannot help to think that these 'drones' could be the ending to air forces' around the world requiring human pilots to sit and fly the aircraft themselves. This leads me to ask myself a few questions. Things like:

What would happen to the Red Arrows? Well, they wouldn't ever be the same ever again would they? I cannot imagine the Royal Air Force without a human Red Arrows team - could you imagine it? Real people at real controls for aircraft - demonstrating not only the superiority of the RAF, but also how skilled they are, pushing the limits of their bodies constantly throughout an extensive sequence of maneuvres.

But anyway, back onto the subject at hand. Unmanned Aerial Vehicles seem to be a good idea at the moment, but that is because there is a small amount of them buzzing around quietly above the Afghan skies.

Should we trust them to fire upon an enemy installation? A part of me doesn't think they should be used in conjuction with firing hellfire missiles because if something was to go wrong, could you imagine the problems it would cause?

Now, don't get me wrong, they are saving the lives of the guys on the ground when they are pinned down and needing an air strike but I know for a fact that fastjets with pilots firing from within the cockpit are a lot more accurate than the drones.

Add that to the argument that piloted aircraft can fire missiles in real time, but the UAV pilots have to take into account a very small second-long lag when firing missiles and if you were to forget about that lag, then you would fire and miss the target.

They aren't even cheap anyway. Costing more than a piloted fastjet aircraft, the UAV is, as far as I can see a drain for the governments defence budget and is a dead end as far as defence technology goes.

Yet again, that could sound rather crushing of me but let me expand on the previous paragraph. Technology has allowed the UAV to be developed and yes, for technology, game on. It's great for technology - as it shows we are continuing to develop greater machines and soon they will be autonomous no doubt.

For defence, I don't like UAVs - stick to Combat Flight Simulator if you want to fly remotely and kill people from a computer screen.

Maybe Sony or Toshiba should create UAV Simulators so you can play along at home. Or maybe not.

I don't trust these things and I don't think they should be trusted by Defence Chiefs. To conclude though, I leave you with this thought. The day that human pilots are no longer needed, is the day aviation can destroy the world.

----

Note: Sorry about the long delay inbetween the last post and this post, I have been incredibly busy lately so haven't had a chance to publish anything!

Get your dongle out...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:05:00 +0000

Mobile Broadband. Anytime, anywhere.

Its the latest craze, isn't it? People can now plug in a USB Broadband dongle and surf the net wherever they are in the country with a laptop. Sounds like a great idea though doesn't it?

Many companies are offering this mobile broadband service to their customers. It isn't cheap though. You could expect to get the lowest quality mobile broadband package for around £20 a month.

It doesn't sound too bad, but when my family pay £14 per month for a good phone and broadband package with Talk Talk, it does sound a bit extortionate. Saying that however, it has proven popular, and it has proven to be a good business focus for many companies such as O2, T-Mobile, Sky and Orange.

By the way, you can pat yourself on the back if you noticed that 3 out of 4 companies just mentioned are mobile phone companies, and also if you noticed that they are all telecommunications companies.

Moving on, I can see why they seem like such a great idea and how they allow you more freedom with your roaming, but are they really what they are cracked up to be? I was going to sign up for it myself, so I had a good look at what is on offer. I have even used it on a friends laptop before.

For starters, you don't get unlimited downloads. This means that when you have downloaded over a certain limit, usually about 8 Gigabytes (Gb) of data, you cannot download any more data. Well, that's the idea anyway. In recent news however, it has been found that anyone who exceeds the download limit by just 1Gb then you are landed with a tasty fine.

The following outlines the additional fines if you exceed your download limit by 1Gb on some networks who offer the mobile broadband service:

O2 = £200
Three = over £100
Vodafone = £15
Virgin = £14.95
Orange = £14.95
T-Mobile = Free

Yes, I can confirm that T-Mobile (holy noise) does not charge you if you exceed your download limit! Instead of fining you and making you hate them, they advise you to change your mobile broadband tariff in order to get the best deal for you, and the deal that is more relevant to your on-the-go broadband needs. Pretty good I think!

Let's clear one thing up though. The download limit includes any information downloaded to your computer from any website you visit, including cookies. This is on top of any music you may download, any videos, games, programmes...you get the gist.

I most certainly do not agree with O2 and Three fining customers if they exceed the download limit, at that price anyway. At least with Orange and the other two companies, it isn't such a hefty and ridiculous charge.

All in all though, if I had mobile broadband and was asked to pay any fine for exceeding a limit of some kind, I would rather puke in their faces than cough up my money.

To add to it all, I hate Three anyway as a company. They try to add costs wherever they can in order to legally scam their customers into giving them lots of money. Bastards. Burn their headquarters down I say!

This was their finest hour...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:00:00 +0000

The Task has been set by Lee over at Surprisingly Bewildered, who is part of the Phenomenal Four team. The question we need to answer is below:

What, in your opinion, is one of the most revolutionary events/inventions that has changed the world since the very first moon landing?

Well, I am going to oust this and say that this was not an awesome event compared to others that had happened. If you want awesome events, look at the history of the Royal Air Force. Look also at the day Volkswagen was born.

They led to the rising of awesomeness in the world today.

The Royal Air Force was created on 1st April 1918. In 1940, the Battle of Britain began, and this was the first ever air-only battle. The RAF had just under 2000 aircraft, whereas the Luftwaffe had just under 4,100 aircraft.

This shows that the RAF was severly outnumbered. Saying this however, the RAF fought and fought hard, proving to the world that they were the best in what they do, and eventually they won the battle.

This was the birth of one of the best quotes in the history of mankind, and still is. It came from Winston Churchill after the Battle of Britain ended with an RAF victory.

"Never, in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many, to so few."
Those who were involved in the Battle of Britain

are still today known as The Few, and rightly so. We owe a great debt to these people, who no doubt drank Pimms.

This brings me on to my second but final topic of this post, which begins with a question I hope you can all answer with ease. Before I ask the question, I think it is right to state that Chris over at Potential Difference will definately know the answer to this...

What is heavily British and was first produced in 1823 by a man called James Pimm?

If you all jumped off your seats shouting "PIMMS" then you would be not just be correct, but you also can give yourselves a pat on the back and maybe even a gold star.

Pimms is the ultimate British drink. It is epic in Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring. Any Pimms will do, however, I have only ever drank the Pimms No. 1 Cup which is gin-based and seriously good.

When you take a sip from your Pimms No. 1 Cup, you feel British. I like that feeling of being properly British and I don't think many people can get that feeling any more unless they drink Pimms, simply because our country isn't what it used to be, mainly thanks to immigration.

It has even evolved into a canned form (Pimms that is), allowing you to buy 250ml ready-to-drink cans of Pimms and Lemonade, and they are awesome, just like the bottles of Pimms you can buy. This drink is however, rather expensive, but if you want a delicious refreshing drink which is utterly epic in every way, then it is worth it.

Guess what ladies and gentlemen...Its Pimms O' Clock!

Panthers Claw

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:28:00 +0000

We have just pulled out of Iraq with the close-down of Operation TELIC after handing over to the US and as good as this sounds, you need to look at the events happening on the other side of Iran.

Operation Herrick. Afghanistan. The situation here is getting a lot worse. This week just gone, the UK endured a horrific 15 deaths in just 10 days. 8 of these, within 24 hours. Why is this happening though? How come the sudden rise in deaths?

The UK Ministry of Defense has begun Operation Panthers Claw in Afghanistan with the aim to drive the Taleban out of their strongholds in order to weaken them, and in order to gain land which can be utilised in the future. The top brass knew the risks involved, and with these recent deaths of heroes, everyone's fingers are pointing at the government - and rightly so.

Gordon Brown was continuing to tell the military top brass that they cannot send more troops to Afghanistan. Why? Because he is a fucktard and doesn't understand the need for more troops in order to be able to squash those "rag-head" militants and push the more difficult groups of those inhumane scumbags out of strongholds which they have held for years.

It is time for change.

It doesn't take a genius to realise that our heroes out in Afghanistan on Operation Herrick are under-equipped and as a result, putting their lives at such a risk all the time. Some guys are even walking around in the standard 'Greens' colour combat clothing, instead of wearing the necessary desert pattern combat clothing. What the hell is going on?!

There aren't enough helicopters either. The Royal Air Force simply cannot deploy any more helicopters than it has already done so. They cannot send every helicopter out there, as they are required to hold some on standby for when some come back for maintenance, and others are currently being maintained.

The Chinook helicopter, the workhorse of Afghanistan, as a good example, is so vital to preserve life and save lives of those who would travel otherwise on the dirt tracks and desertified land of Afghanistan. Whenever troops travel on the roads, an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) detonates and people are injured or killed.

The vehicles are being changed, but, they still aren't performing. The British Army needs more stronger vehicles which can withstand IEDs, such as the Jackal vehicle, designed to spread the blast away from the centre of the vehicle where the occupants sit.

No-one in the Armed Forces are paid enough either in my opinion, for the job that they do. On a tour, they put their lives on the line for anything over 4 months on a daily basis without being able to guarantee their return. Realistically, all they can do is hope for the best. I think that the minimum Armed Forces wage should be £30,000 - starting with the people on the smallest wage - the British Army soldiers, the cannon fodder.

The Government, namely the Prime Minister and the rest of the stupid Labour Party seem to think that the UK forces are infact well equipped and are perfectly able to continue their operations perfectly well with the equipment already provided out there. But they are obviously incompetent bed-wetters who are hiding from the real truth. They are under-equipped, and the sooner the Govt. realise this, the better!

Now here are two questions which could be difficult to answer. Who are the Taleban? Why do they seem so effective?

The answers are actually infact quite simple. The Taleban are cowards and the reason why we are fighting them is because they are a direct threat to our national security, and this applies to the UK, the USA, and any other ISAF force in the country at present.

They are cowards because they use women and children to shield them from being bombed by our Air Forces. When a Harrier GR7/GR9/GR9A flies over, or any other aircraft, they ensure that there are women and children walking around the compound so that our rules of engagement state that we cannot drop the bomb on the target.

Another example of how they are cowards is the way in which they drop their weapons and hide when an Apache gunship helicopter arrives to help out the troops on the ground. They drop their weapons, and wait for the Apache to be low on fuel before picking up arms and starting again as it leaves the area. That's cowardly. They know our rules of engagement stop us from firing upon unarmed men.

A third and final example of how they are cowards comes from the experience we all know too well. Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs). These have proven deadly for our ground troops, which is why more helicopters are needed. The rag heads plant horrific IEDs into the road, where they know our troops will travel, then disappear elsewhere.

Why are they effective? They use tactics which they learnt from the last Gulf War. Many of them, as they are elders, fought in this war and lost friends to the enemy at the time. This would have made them press on to become much stronger, and better equipped.

They use their pre-dated yet good tactics learnt in previous years, and couple it with their outstanding knowledge of the area, including where all the irrigation ditches lead to, and use this to fight the British, or whoever they are engaging at the time.

I predict that the Government will only act upon this problem of resources when the Labour Govt is squashed and kicked out, and when the Conservative Govt, led by David Cameron takes over.

I do however, propose a solution. Chris at Potential Difference only knows this too well...

Nuke

And

Forget.

Give it the beans... unleash the tsunami of power

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 23:01:00 +0000

The Car: Volkswagen Golf GTI Mk6 (2009)

A Quote from the Top Gear website from their own review:

It's time to make a suggestion. More than that, a bold assertion, that the Mark VI Golf GTI is the best car in the world you can possibly buy right now.

Performance and Spec:

Engine: 2.0L TSI 210PS

Fuel: Petrol

OTR: from £22,415

Transmission: 6 Speed Auto DSG or Manual

0 - 60mph: 6.9 seconds

Top Speed: 149mph

Fuel Consumption: 35mpg

Emissions: 170 grams of CO2 per km

It is all well and good for me to slap a load of statistics onto this post to prove how good this car is, but they aren't necessary at all. Lee, over at Surprisingly Bewildered, is wanting to produce a scoreboard using these figures and I know that this car won't win - but it doesn't need to win. To put it simply, it is in a league of its own - above all scoreboards and tables of data. Just look at it...

Looks:

It really is a stunning car from both inside the vehicle (above) and outside the vehicle (below). In my opinion, Volkswagen really have taken a modern stance on the traditional Golf GTI cars that have advanced through the years. Its a car for the present day, maybe even the future.

Not only this, but Volkswagen have made the GTI a car for everyone. By this, I mean that they have most likely said to various people scattered throughout Volkswagen "Old man, I want a new GTI" or "Slightly retarded work experience boy, make modification." Gladis seems to be happy with it:

Bob: "Sunday drive, Gladis?

Gladis: "Only if it is in your new Golf GTI!"

But who cares who is driving it? Whether it is Gladis and Bob, or Robert Mugabe and George Abdugduhgwengo. I feel the need to make clear that this is not a chavvy car - far from it infact. It is a masterpiece displaying beauty, providing us with a superb purr with the engine idling, or a breath-taking roar when you put your foot down and give it the beans.

The design of the vehicle is sleek, gracious, powerful and the shape of the car makes it look fast. It is certainly the head-turner when it is on the road. You have the choice of standard (yet very nice) upholstery of a high quality, or a fine grain leather for the seats and the choice of two is more than enough. Volkswagen wouldn't want to spoil you more with this car than they already have done.

Speed

Now, in order for me to review this vehicle, I needed to do research. By research I mean that I need to sit infront of my laptop reading emails, occasionally visiting the Volkswagen website for some technical stuff and googling a few images and selecting a handful to use.

I found out that on paper, the new Ford Focus RS is a faster vehicle than the VW Golf GTI Mk6. But that is on paper...and paper can be recycled, or set alight, along with the new Focus RS (available in a Radioactive Puke Green colour) Nevertheless, it is certainly a fast car. But it is not just a fast car. It has it all. Performance, practicality, safety, strength, traction, affordability... and that is just to name a few!

It has the torques to throw down the moment that accelerator is pressed ever so gently down a centimetre (with the clutch being lifted of course). The engine reacts like a tramp on chips, throwing torque here, there and more importantly, everywhere! This car has what Jeremy Clarkson loves.

POWER!!!

There really is no need to sacrifice any Lebanese prostitutes as Lee so kindly states when describing his car. There are no prostitutes to sacrifice, unless of course Lee abducted a selection when he visited Lebanon in his Porsche Frog-Arse. They were all mowed down by this beast of a car. The king of the road. The cream of the crop. The icing on the cake and finally, the cherry on top of the icing on the cake.

One question which I can also answer right now is this. The Golf, the Porsche and the DB5 are head to head in a fight to the death. Which car would win? The Golf of course. It has Steve Bandy's seal of approval - which is enough proof for me!

Another Opinion

This brings me on to revealing what the tamed racing driver would say about this truly magnificent car. Some say that he can smell the scent of vinegar from a mile away and that his hands are actually dog paws. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

I reckon that The Stig would give this car a gloves up stating that it is a serious car and is a remarkable product from Volkswagen. Yet again, the car company have created a superb car which ticks both my boxes, and the boxes in the Top Gear office as they awarded it 17/20 on their reviews! But would you buy it?

The Price

£22,415 - £24,305. It isn't expensive, and it isn't cheap either. It sits comfortably at that price, attracting a wide range of interest in the direction of the car. If you are buying the car, you should want it to look amazing, so I would recommend the optional alloy wheels rather than the manufacturer fitted ones. In addition to this, you may want to get the number of packs available to really improve your car, adding to the price even more.

Reviews from Top Gear

They reviewed this vehicle twice. On both occasions, the two different people both awarded this truly stunning car 17/20. A supercar score for a superb car.

I leave you with the thought that maybe, just maybe, badgers could evolve to take over the planet and that North Korea would provide them with the nuclear weapons so that they can launch an attack on every country on Earth, whilst simultaneously damming up the Atlantic Ocean.

And on that bombshell, it is time to end this post. Goodbye!

I challenge you...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:56:00 +0000

Unfortunately this is a short post, as I am not here. I have therefore written a short post and scheduled it to be posted today.

After watching a YouTube video titled Real Life Twittering, I have decided I will trial this method of status updating for the next ten days. I challenge you all to do the same.

What is needed to be done though Sir Luke?

Well, walk around wherever you are and whenever something pops into your head such as "oooh, I'd like an ice cream", or "fuck me! she is hot!", you need to declare it to everyone around you by saying it out loud.

This is real life twittering.

Now, I can see only a few ways that this could end. You could say something about a girl, and then her 8 foot tall black boyfriend hears and beats you up, or you could make everyone around you leave. But hey ho, it sounds hilarious to me!

Anyway, I leave you with the thoughts that follow this very sentence that you are wasting your time on by reading...

Barack Obama is the coolest President that ever walked the earth.
Iran is slowly destroying itself (3 cheers)
Iran has said that the UK is evil
Gordon Brown is a useless twat
Real Life Twittering has the possibilities of being hilarious
I have started to really appreciate Muse
You should all shop at Tesco
Anyone in the Armed Forces are heroes

Farewell!

I told you I'll be back...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:56:00 +0000

...and I am. With the completion of my final examinations, I can finally relax, take a breath and BURN EVERYTHING THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH EDUCATION... except for my RAF documents, and my car insurance policies.

Note: I have created a new header. One which is more up-to-date and relevant.

The plan as it stands now is to wait for the weekend to trot along, so that I am able to go and literally burn all the work I ever did at school including the cremation of the folders I used. And just for the hell of it, I'll also be burning 105 Tesco for Schools and Clubs vouchers - because I don't give a shit and I can. You may currently be asking yourself "well, how is he burning them?". The answer I would give to that is simply, "with fire, dumbass". Now go and jump on my burning tesco vouchers and die.

Throughout my exams, with the buildup of stress, I have found a new corner of music I am happy to go to. I can now easily listen to any kind of music including the new genre which I have now officially grasped - Rock. I hope you are familiar with Muse and possibly even Alter Bridge?

At the start of the exam season, I made the decision to burn a match for every wrong thing that Gordon Brown had done on each day throughout exam season. I ran out of matches after 2 days and decided it would be too expensive to continue that venture - so I used the last match on burning the matchbox with an ant in it. I don't know why I killed an ant - I am sure God wouldn't be happy about it. Oh wait, he doesn't exist.

Continuing with the topic of burning all of my A Level work, I looked down to my left and grasped reality by the neck, when I noticed possibly about 1000 pages of paper and 5 ringbinder folders. I ask myself, will black or white smoke rise from the fire? Hopefully its ordinary smoke, so that I don't upset the RAF Police.

In other news, when I originally purchased my first car, taxed it, and insured it (with Tesco), I set my insurance to be valid up to 5000 miles of driving on the policy. I exceeded this within 8 months and when I phoned them up, I hinted that I would need an increase of an extra 4000 miles on the policy, bringing it to 9000 miles. It cost me £30! Just £30! THANK YOU TESCO!

wouldn't you be happy to get one of these?

This raises the question of what is the difference between Tesco Value and Tesco Finest? I don't see much difference to be honest - the valentines cards look great and I'll be buying one for next years Valentines Day for one lucky lucky girl. What about other items though?

I would happily go for the Automated Sentry Gun. I am guessing it would only cost about 17p...the same as a huge pack of Tesco Value Bourbons!

Not sure about the Vasectomy though...

And on that bombshell, I'm off to eat fuck loads of cheese.

Nature Reserves and Wildlife Parks

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:59:00 +0000

They're shit. Don't go - burn some plastic instead to make up for Greenpeace's pathetic action to make us all implant twigs in our arses and fuck them.

Sorry Greenpeace - but go fuck yourselves.

Infact, no, I am not sorry.

The best person in the world

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 12:49:00 +0000

Me.

Need I say any more?

(I am too ill to blog properly)

Yours Sincerely, Tony Blair

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:14:00 +0000

You may agree that that is quite a misleading title, but I laughed when I typed it. I don't know why I found the ending to a letter funny, but I did. Maybe it was because it had Tony Blair in it - two words that I frequently laugh at when placed together.

Either way, I am not here to mock Tony Blair, although I would very much enjoy doing so. I am here to discuss the current situation in North Korea.

You should now agree that my title was misleading.

Those of you who own a brain and have used it within the week will have noticed on a number of news websites (for example, BBC News) a headline to do with satellites and ahem, North Korea. Yep, it's them again. Say hello once more to Kim Jong-Il! "Oh...Hewwo!"

To cut a rather large news story short, the US and South Korea are performing a military exercise which is designed to strengthen the co-operative skills of both nations' armed forces. Without these exercises, when the time comes for the nations to fight together, a lot could go wrong.

Interesting is an understatement but it turns out North Korea plan to launch a satellite some time in the very close future but the US and South Korea are certain that they plan to test a long-range missile under the disguise of a satellite.

North Korea, as per usual, feel threatened by this military exercise in which 50,000 US and S Korean troops are involved and have released an official warning stating that they have placed their military (which is one of the largest in the world) on full combat alert, which means that if at any one moment they feel threatened or pressured, war will ensue.

Yes, North Korea don't have quality...but they do have numbers and are a Communist country. I honestly think that if the population of the country ran by a 21st Century Hitler are needed in a war, they will be thrown into the armed forces without question. If they refused, they die.

But what else could come from this recent news?

The risk of World War 3 is now huge. Everyone is walking on thin ice and wondering who they can trust. We, the UK, have our strong allies, but also our weaker allies. We are also in NATO which is both a good thing, and a bad thing.

If N Korea does begin war, they have stated they will attack Japan, the US and S Korea with full force in retaliation. Now, because of our position in the world, having the Royal Air Force known to the population of the Earth as the best, (even if they don't admit it) aswell as a great Army and Navy, we will be roped into the battle and we would respond positively as we are a member of NATO.

It would also bring on a new Cold War. Russia, being another fucked-up Communist country, would publicise their allegience to the N Koreans in the fight against every other country. In addition to this, Ross @ The Confounder and I believe China will also get involved. Communism vs The Rest of the World. Bring it on!

I do not see war as a bad thing though, I welcome a war. Keeps the adrenaline pumping through your body. It would also mean that there will be a greater need for recruits in the UK Armed Forces - meaning it would be easier for me to get in.

To conclude however, I only need three words in which to offer the complete solution to North Korea and Russia...

NUKE

AND

FORGET.

Obviously though, leave China alone, just suppress them and make them do as we wish, simply because, they make nearly all of our toys.

Turah.

What the deuce?

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:20:00 +0000

Family Guy is an animated American television show which was dreamt up and created by some hairy fat guy called Seth MacFarlane which hits the TV screens pretty much everywhere. The show centres on a dysfunctional family that lives in the town of Quahog, Rhode Island.

Not counting The Bill (ITV1) and NCIS (five), Family Guy has to be one of my favourite programmes to watch on the television. It is hilarious and tells jokes that come so quick, they are as fast as a tramp on chips and the jokes provide me, and billions of others with the highest level of laughter I have experienced.

I have watched endless episodes and I have also watched the epic film that they had released and I laughed so hard every time, that my jaw hurted.

I should say no more as you should now already be compelled to view a few episodes of Family Guy.

I recommend the episode called Brian: Portrait of a Dog. You get to hear Stewie bumbounce whilst saying "Lets get a kitty!".

If I had the time, and could be bothered to put the effort in (as these posts keep coming too quickly), I would have written more but as I need to leave for the weekend in 2 minutes, I am slightly out of time. I may decide to update this on monday or something, but I guess you will have to wait and see!

All the new fresh stuff...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:02:00 +0000

Yes, it is a bit late...well, very late but I have been quite busy and so with this small window of opportunity, I plan to make up for my inability to keep to deadlines within the group.

My apologies also go out to Ross, Lee and Chris, the other three members of the Phenomenal Four. Anyway, the topic I am making up for is the next part in the sequel of blog posts within Operation Epic Post.

It will be difficult blogging about specific types of music so I will talk about what music I like.

Being someone who listens to about 6 hours of music each day, if not more, I have allowed myself to stretch the limits of my musical attraction in order for me to enjoy a wide range of music. I do not stick to one genre, but I enjoy songs from a number of them.

To make this clearer, I enjoy a variety of songs from the following genres:

R&B
Dance
Alternative
Rock
Pop

Evidently, whatever I now type is very unbiased...because I say so. It is very easy for me to make a split second decision on whether or not I will like a particular type of music at that moment in time. This applies to new music mainly and a good source of that is Galaxy FM.

Being a road user nowadays, I have began to listen to the radio a lot more and as I clock up a lot of mileage each week, I hear more and more new music over the radiowaves each day. As I listen, I think about what I like about the song and decide if I want it on my iPod or not. If it passes the selection process, I download it and allow myself to keep listening to it.

What concerns me is that radio stations have a common tendancy to overplay a number of songs and as a result, I get bored very quickly and begin to realise that particular songs are now unbearable.

Spandex Ballet

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 11:27:00 +0000

Following the recent theme of sport amongst the Phenomenal Four group of bloggers, I decided to devote this post to ripped to shreds, the sport which is infact not a sport.

Wrestling is a bit like boxing in my eyes. The differences being:

Boxers don't use scripts
Boxers don't wear spandex or latex
Boxers don't pretend to be hard, they are hard
Boxing is a sport.
Boxers aren't gay. Try telling that to their faces.
Boxing is quite British.

Enough of the lists anyway. I could keep typing infinitely but it is not something I want to do. It would prefer spooning my eyes out and feeding them to my dog. That would be more fun than creating a massive list for you all to read and get bored with very quickly.

I decided that before I would type this post, I would do my research. This involved me googling a great deal of keywords about wrestling and watching a healthy number of YouTube videos which did prove Wrestling was 100% fake. I also spent the time looking at funny wrestling pictures like this...

If you do not agree with the fact that wrestling is not and sport and is also completely fake, then go to YouTube and type "fake wrestling". You get results like this...

As I am sure you are now aware, I am in touch with reality and am very technologically ahead of most people today.

Back to the topic on hand. As you can see by the video above, wrestling is very faked. The participants are simply actors who are pumped full of steroids. Not athletes as some people may call them, and they are certainly not Sportsmen or Sportswomen. They are actors.

It's about time you Wrestling fans realised this and jumped off your high horse and stared at the truth.

The reason why it is loved so much in America is because the people who live in that country are too damn stupid to realise how the kicks are near-misses, not full impacts, and that when someone flies into the air and goes over the ropes, that person induced that himself.

Like the title suggests. They are no more than ballet dancers in a spandex or latex costume. Sweating all over each other as the men lie on each other in a gay fashion. Pressing genitals into one another to see who gets the hard-on first.

These actors are probably paid as much as a top level footballer. But they are paid a lot to fake a game. It all seems to be a con to me now I come to think about it in more detail. People flock to the arena to watch the fight, probably pay US$100's to go and see it.

What do they get in return? They get to watch a real sport. They get to watch pain enter the eyes of the man who is being attacked and beaten to a pulp. NO. They get to watch gays dancing about pretending to fight.

They may aswell create another crap sport and call it American Football...because that wouldn't be copying the British with their sport called Rugby now would it? Oh no, definately not. Its like the Americans actually won World War 2 single handedly. And for anyone who thinks they did, the British did. The Americans followed us about.

I am sure a number of people would have a problem with this post. If you are one of those people, grab a knife and stick it in your eye. Then tell someone who cares because you are obviously too stupid to realise how fake and how scripted Wrestling is.

It is not a sport.

Air Racing

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 01:13:00 +0000

In my opinion, Air Racing is a sport. It involves athletes in a way, has many worldwide fans, and it is reknowned worldwide for its intensity and it requires the highest level of skill. It is right at the top of a scale of epicness, where Wrestling doesn't even feature (men pretending to hurt each other while they wear latex costumes - its a "sport" for gays.).

But what is required of the pilots? Well they need to navigate round a course specific to the location of the world it is taking place. They have posts they need to navigate round or through in a specific way such as flying through a gate at a 'knife edge', and performing a slalom of gates.

Yes, it is that simple...except for when you consider the fact that you need to know how to fly an aircraft, cope with G force and navigate the ever-changing courses!

The best thing is, anyone with an appropriate flying license can take part. Saying that, you would need to be a good pilot and able to withold pulling high G withing GLOCing (Gravity-induced Loss Of Conciousness).

I am sure you are all aware of the Red Bull Air Race. If you aren't, you should hang your head in shame and step off a cliff. This air race is known internationally and is truly epic.

The world's best pilots coming together to complete a challenging course pulling massive G forces, straining every part of your body. Nations competing against nations, sometimes it becoming a personal thing to not lose to another Pilot, also fueled by ego.

It is something I would like to try out myself, if I became a successful fast-jet pilot though. I notice one of the British pilots that fly in the Red Bull Air Race is actually a commercial airline pilot. I would love to fly with him one day!

But what is missing from the Red Bull Air Race? The crashes, the very near misses, the gasping from the crowd as a near-disaster is only just avoided. These pilots don't run on blood when taking part, their blood is taken over by adrenaline.

Being a huge fan of the Red Bull Air Race, I watch it like a religion. I have only ever seen a few near misses. I want explosions as people crash, I want pilots ejecting at the last second, or pilots shouting "I will crash and burn along with my aircraft!" and plummetting into the ground.

It isn't a nice image, nor is it something nice to think about, as being a flyer myself, having a problem in mid-air leaves you completely isolated. Your heart beats faster, adrenaline pumps around your body, but your training takes over and you can just think of what could happen in a matter of seconds...and it really is over in a few seconds if you don't act quickly enough.

Anyway, it is an epic sport which can be enjoyed by everyone. It brings so many emotions together. It gives you ups, it gives you downs. It makes you smile with awe, and gasp with sheer fright.

You can only respect these guys...they are truly sportsmen and as a result, I salute them.

Lack of sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:41:00 +0000

This will no doubt be a worthless post, so read on and bear with me, it'll never be this bad again...

All this nonsense in the news about lack of sleep causing you health problems and making you ill is fine to read about, but is it all really true?

I have tried it out so that I could report the things that have happened as I do think that some of the problems that are supposedly caused by a lack of sleep is farfetched and quite extreme. You could even say the theories are pumped full of steroids if you wanted to.

Since Thursday I have decided to starve my body of the minimum recommended sleep each night. It is recommended to sleep for 8 hours or more to keep healthy and not develop health problems due to lack of sleep and as a result of this I made sure each night, I had 3 hours sleep.

At first it was completely fine, I got up on the Friday morning bright and early to begin the day. Tiredness was present to begin with but after a few hours, and a good breakfast, it soon disappeared and allowed me to enjoy the day.

As the weekend arrived, I only had 2 hours to sleep on the Friday night due to having a lot of fun with colleagues at RAF Cosford. I woke up and got into my flying suit on the Saturday morning and felt groggy and fatigued but I fought on and didn't let the tiredness affect my work.

Skipping the boring bits, i.e. Sunday morning and afternoon, I sat up and waited for my parent's flight to land at Birmingham Airport. They were due in at 0025hrs. It turns out that at 0000hrs the website refreshed itself for me and the flight was now expected at 0052hrs. It was time for coffee.

I struggled to stay awake, and the flight gradually got held back that little bit more and finally landed at 0138hrs, much to my luck as I was worried about paying £7 for 45minutes in the carpark, so I wanted to just pay the £2 for 30minutes. Yes, I know, it is a rip off!

I got home at 0300hrs and went to bed. I obviously lay there waiting to go to sleep for a bit though. As I lay there, I realised it was a school night and in a few hours, it was the beginning of the 2nd half of the term.

Now, I understand this is a boring post to read but I simply do not care at this moment in time. I am on my 9th cup of coffee already in the 3 hours I have been home and I am still yawning away and achey and tired.

General recommendations are to sleep your 8 hours a night. I agree. I hope the theory that people who are lacking their sleep develop harder arteries and have a greater risk of heart disease is wrong because I have a lot to live for.

I got up this morning feeling slightly ill and my ears were completely blocked up and still will not clear. My fitness has declined a bit too as I managed 38 pressups before wanting a break on thursday where as today I managed 15. Quite a difference isn't it?

I think I should have a good night's sleep tonight.

L-earner drivers

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:00:00 +0000

Your 17th birthday is one of those really important birthday's you have during your lifetime. It is the year the UK Government gives you the right to learn how to drive, own a car with your own insurance and go driving freely with a Full UK License (or an automatic one).

Now, there are good and bad instructors around the country who make it their job to train you as a good, safe and responsible defensive driver and on today's roads, you can see why it is more of a responsibility than a career as a driver for any of us.

The ruling around licenses is quite silly I think. You can apply for a provisional license in the UK and you can keep it until the day you hit 80, or something around that age. It also allows you to take and retake as many Theory and Practical tests as you wish. If you fail one, you just keep resitting until you pass.

However, I view this as a dangerous allowance. Provisional licenses should only be valid for a period of 2 years maximum and they should limit the number of retakes you can have on either test.

Expanding on this idea, I think that after you go over a limit for retakes, or you take 2 years or more learning to drive, you are deemed a dangerous road user and should be banned from driving for 5 years. In that 5 years, you are expected to revise for a theory test, sit the test and if you pass, you have the ban lifted and you can continue driving before your 5 year ban is up.

None of this "go on, you'll be fine" nonsense where you can go and not worry about passing or failing because you have an infinite amount of chances. Money is however, a worry.

I can think of a great deal of items that this wasted money could be spent on. Mobile phones, Televisions, Clothing, Music from iTunes (as I am all for legal downloads of course), Digital Cameras and also some fitness equipment to keep yourself healthy.

If you are really bad at driving and struggle to pass the first hurdle, the Theory Test, then I think you should give up and spend your money elsewhere, rather than throwing your money down the drain, or giving it to shape-changing Jews.

For those who have passed their driving tests and are fully qualified drivers, be it in the UK or elsewhere then I wish you every success in your driving career and I hope you don't crash and burn.

A Rule of War

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 10:40:00 +0000

I have found myself to be quite simply, the battlefield guru. Not only am I joining the UK Armed Forces, specifically the RAF, but my cousin is serving in the Army and my Uncle once served in that same force.

It goes without saying, that I have military blood, as well as flying blood, inside of me.

As I am sure a good number of you will know, there are specific rules in war. One set is called the Rules of Engagement and if you are the UN Peacekeeping Forces, they have one rule which reads "If you are shot at, stand your ground, don't open fire, and die."

I am perfectly happy with Rules of Engagement anyway, well, the ones set by the Ministry of Defense of course. The focus of this blog wasn't on those rules, but on another set of rules that every country has to follow. Show your thanks to the UN for this by blowing up their headquarters for all of our sakes.

I was watching one of my favourite programmes on television last night about doctors and nurses who work in Afghanistan with the British Army and the Royal Air Force. I was pleased to hear that our country is the only country out there that operates a Medical Emergency Rescue Team (MERT). This means, we are the only country that flies doctors and nurses TO the patient, rather than flying the patient to the medical professionals.

As the programme reached the end, the cameraman was on the MERT Chinook helicopter and I was incredibly angry to see that because of the UN's stupid nation-hugging bullcrap, they had to treat a Taleban fighter.

They blindfolded him and carried him onto the helicopter, to take him to the main operating base in Afghanistan to treat him for his injuries. It disgusts me to see that our troops spend their tour getting shot at, killed, or injured by these scumbags yet we have to treat them otherwise the UN cries and jumps on our backs about Human Rights. Cue shitty pointless charities to come and protest for the cause.

If I had my way, which obviously I don't, I would say that they should get the Taleban insurgent onboard the helicopter, take off to a good altitude, then throw him out of the back.

It is better than treating him, and sending him back to fight once more and probably kill one of our troops.

We should scrap that part of the Geneva Convention.

Valentines Day

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:48:00 +0000

I am no cupid, but I can certainly set people up with one another and have done so. As you should all be aware, Valentines Day is fast approaching now and well, I couldn't care less to be fair.

It is quite an exclusive day really isn't it? If you are with someone, you can express your love for one another in a generous number of ways. But if you are single, then you can send an anonymous admiring card to someone you care for...

...quite the look of the stalker don't you think? Or maybe the opportunist rapist?

I don't want to dampen anything but I do not care about Valentines Day as I have no-one to express my love to. I am single, surprisingly, and I do not intend to stoop to a level of strangeness by sending a secret card.

What is the true reaction of the people Anon gives a card to? Well its a simple reaction that I will now express to you all. "Who could it be? Why its that freak over there who is smiling strangely in the corner of this very room. She would then get scared and call the police.

It is quite a good topic to focus on nevertheless. If you have the time, or can be bothered at the slightest then comment this post and we can debate. I will win, unless of course it is a debate with a colleague over at Potential Difference.

If you are taken, and enjoying it a lot then I truly hope you have a good day and enjoy it the best you can. If you are single however, then keep a smile on, but avoid the cards. Anonymous cards to someone you like is like you are an internet child predator.

By the way, if you have a cabbage brain, or are less useful than a turd on a plate then Valentines Day is 14th February. If you are taken, make sure you get the other half something!

The Big Freeze

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 09:50:00 +0000

Now, for anyone who is completely oblivious to the world around them turning white, you should realise that we have all been well and truly snowed in.

I am getting to the point where I am starting to hate snow. Looking outside my window - everything is covered in a healthy 4-5 inch layer of the stuff.

It has caused mass disruption to the UK as councils and just people overall cannot cope with the sheer volume that has fallen. I know in my city, Coventry, the council has run out of gritting salt, all the schools except 2 (crazy) are closed, and every bus service has been cancelled.

I suppose that means that businesses will be closed too? According to the news, with just London shutting down on monday due to the heavy snow, that alone cost our economy over £1 billion.

Being in a recession, I do not need to really make it clear that it was £1 billion we could have used on something more important than wasting it because people couldn't be bothered to make the effort of getting into work.

I was watching GMTV, like I always do during the week before driving to school. A man in London had braved the weather, and the deep snow, to travel to work on his bike. Yes, his bike. The determination of that man should have influenced everyone. But I can imagine that everyone except me were thinking "gosh, this guy is a lunatic!".

I am sorry, but you all cannot talk. Yes, have a day off, but don't completely destroy the economy in the process. Its quite selfish I think.

Either way, enjoy the snow!

Balance in an unstable world

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:44:00 +0000

Is it possible to stablise the relations between every group, nation and terrorist cell in the world? Well maybe not the terrorist cells but its worth a try.

Recent news stories have hit the headlines of North Korea testing their long-range missiles. It is reported that these missiles are capable of reaching the US and I can imagine that there will be a secret conference being held in the Pentagon right now which is looking at every possible problem it could cause for them.

Now, I apologise in advance if I am wrong but I had thought that the US and North Korea were enjoying a slightly better relationship. The two nations were both talking at least.

It appears now that this bettered connection will now be destroyed and drawing up plans for peace will have to unfortunately go back to the drawing board once again.

Why can't we just all shake hands over a cup of tea and agree to our differences, in order for us all to live in peace? I guess the answer to that is each country's influence on the rest of the world, and maybe ego too.

How about sending an army of superheroes, me, and Horatio Caine over to every poorly led country in the world? Its a good idea, but I do see an immediate flaw to this quite amazing idea.

Every country in africa except Kenya, North Korea, Russia and China to name a few are countries which I consider to be poorly led. Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe. Why hasn't someone shot that old, pathetic, power crazy, woman-beating zimbabwean leader?

Fast Food, be it at McDonalds or at 300mph

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:33:00 +0000

Now, as a result of this post, I understand I may get at least 1 comment that faults my opinion which I have to say right now, it is the truth. This means, get over it, live with it and accept it. I speak the truth. If you believe in God, you are reading his blog post right now.

The thoughts taken directly from a good friend of mine on potentialdif.blogspot.com seem to differ from my opinion, making it clear to the audience that airline food can not at any time be described as tasty.

'Plane food', according to Chris, is to be "of a quality so poor that even a starved, malnourished African child would think twice before eating it."

Firstly, plane's are what carpenters use for sanding wood. Aeroplanes or aircraft can be used as the correct term, take your pick as I honestly don't mind. As long as you don't say 'plane'. Also, I do not fly a plane, I fly an aircraft or pilot an aircraft.

Anyway, I noticed while reading Chris' blog that he seems to think that they pump salt onto each meal by the lorry load. Unfortunately it is another flaw in his argument. Due to a long and pathetic list of Health and Safety bullshit, they cannot put salt into a meal.

If I may discuss that last point in a bit more detail. A few people can't eat salt or have salt in their food due to intolerances. It is a bit like milk, but that is as scientific as I wish to go, unless you want to challenge me with questions about how aircraft fly.

Even though it would be utterly hilarious, it would be a serious problem if someone began to fit and foam at the mouth like a slug at 32,000feet half way across the Atlantic Ocean. But to repeat what I said at the beginning of the paragraph, it would be utterly hilarious. I would possibly die laughing.

Only a few other things could excite me more than the chance to eat a tasteful selection of food at 32,000feet or so and at around 300 miles per hour. It is far more exciting than pulling up at McDonalds in a drive-thru and speaking to a spotty cabbage brain because you want a slightly off-tasting burger.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Well yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked for a McChicken Sandwich meal you dumb shit. And before you ask, I want banana milkshake for a drink."

"Errrr, what drink would you like with your meal?"

Now, I would like to explain that by the time he said 'meal', I had already launched through the small drive-thru window and killed the guy with his own burger bun.

I personally enjoy airline food. The variety is not all that great but they do taste bliss. For example, on an outbound flight from Birmingham Airport in the morning, I would be delighted with the look, smell and taste of a hearty breakfast. Small sausages, potato cubes, beans and egg with the option of tea or coffee, with some spreadable cheese to put in a small bun with some butter.

My tastebuds are watering already, just as I am planning on hitting the deck to go to bed.

To conclude, airline food is nice and unbeatable. It is now tradition to me to have a meal on every commercial flight I am on, otherwise I kick off and end up feeling like I want to "open some fucking windows" as Samuel L. Jackson said on Snakes on a Plane.

Good night.

A sad day for shoe lovers...

noreply@blogger.com (Luke Carter) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:37:00 +0000

This week begins with yet more doom and gloom regarding the global economic recession. It has taken victim, jobs at the Corus steel works company, as well as forcing footwear chains Barratts and PriceLess into administration.

A sad day for shoe lovers across the nation.

Will the closure of Barratts and PriceLess really upset the shoe lovers though? Well no. On a non-serious note, they can go to Clarkes shoes and buy some from there. On a serious note however, the two companies filing for administration is not the be all and end all of footwear sales in the UK.

There are still plenty of stores around and to be fair, the shoes from Barratts and PriceLess were not that great. If you didn't notice, it was why they had shoes priced at 99p instead of £40. They had you going back into the store every week for a new pair because the previous ones had fell to pieces.

If you are a really bad tight-arsed person, go shop at Primark with the chavs. They manage to seek out bargains for stuff that last for just as much as a short time as a pair of 99p PriceLess shoes. You are probably considering this option. If you are then please continue to hang your head in shame.

If you are in any kind of contact with fashion as I blatently am, then go and buy yourself some shoes from topman, topshop or even get yourself a pair of the 2009 Adidas Stan Smith GL II trainers like I have done. As you can tell, I am the height of fashion.

Current forecasts indicate we won't be out of this economy trap until the end of 2009, or the beginning of 2010 and it will quite obviously take a lot more time to fully recover.

In the mean time, don't overspend, try to avoid loans and be money-wise by saving more.