Fast forward ten years, and life has gotten a little busier…and a lot less solitary.  Now, it is a rareity to travel long distances by myself.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life now.  In those college years, lonliness and emptiness accompanied the solitude.  These days, though sometimes I crave alone time, my heart and soul are full and happy.  I started thinking about those drives a couple days ago when I was travelling from Soddo to Addis.  It is a five to six hour drive through the southern half of Ethiopia, and my only company was a non-English speaking Ethiopian driver, a sleeping baby, and my very heavy heart.  You see, the day before, I had to watch my precious husband drive away from our new little family and head back to the States to continue his role as the family provider.  My heart ached as the van pulled away.  There was no end date in sight or “I’ll see you in a couple weeks” or even “Everything is going to be okay.”  There was only a couple tears that streamed down my face as I tried to stand stoically holding August…and then the car disappeared.  August and I walked back to the house and then…I cried.  I cried real hard.  One of those cries that clinch your whole body and take your breath away.  For those of you that have ever seen me cry, it isn’t pretty…and there isn’t a whole lot more in life that I despise more than crying.  So, I finally pulled myself together and carried on with the day (for the mommas our there, you all know there really isn’t another option.)  And the day didn’t really get better.  That evening, I got ferociously sick and dehydrated.  When I woke up to get August a bottle, I blacked out on the bathroom floor.  It was probably one of the scariest moments of my life.  I could just picture someone coming to our house in the morning, me laying unconcious on the bathroom floor and August screaming in her crib (a scene from Steel Magnolias flashed through my mind.)  This silly fear caused me to stay awake the rest of the night and beg my mom to make extremely expensive international calls to me on the hour, every hour to confirm my existence.  The sun finally showed its face and all was fine.

So the next morning as I climbed into the Soddo Christian Hospital van, my heart was heavy.  I don’t know if I even recognized how down I was.  Has that happened to you?  Usually your loved ones call you out and ask what is wrong, and it’s not until they point it out that you realize you aren’t yourself.  Anyway, that was me.  The first part of the trip, I just sat in silence.  Then, as August fell asleep, I glanced over my left shoulder, through the curtains (oh yeah, it’s one of those rad vans) and realized the windows were open.  I leaned left and felt the warmth of the sun, and then a little further left and felt the breeze brush my face.  And just like that, I was taken back to those college days…breath in, breath out.  The weight of all those worries and sadness started falling by the roadside.  The miles became a series of snapshots again, but this time so much more meaningful and beautiful.  I wish I could describe the magic of the African countryside, but as a woman who is usually full of words, I am at a loss as I am sure I could never do it justice.  As we reached the outskirts of Addis, I found myself smiling again.

I hadn’t thought about the holding hands with Jesus business for quite some time.  My spiritual walk became routine.  I still believed and prayed to God, but He had become somewhat distant to me.  He was the Almighty being, one to whom I would pray, but I felt as though our communication was a one-way street.  I could only half-heartedly ask Him for my heart’s desires.  I had lost the comfort of being able to hold His hand; the peace of knowing his heart was with me just as my heart was with him.  And I had forgotten that He wanted to be as real to me as much as I needed to hold His hand.

Life started to be a struggle.  My well thought out plans weren’t coming together.  It wasn’t until Bo and I started our adoption process that I began to notice that missing piece of my faith.  Adoption is SO hard.  I tried to handle the stress and challenges and planning all on my own…and just put a smile on and not complain.  But my best friends saw my struggles.  My faith was tested to the CORE.  I was in the darkest moments of my life, trying so hard to make those “nightmares” and challenges go away by my own power and planning, thinking of every possibility and how to handle it (on my own.)  As my heart was becoming so angry and turning to stone, by His grace (and my wonderful friends’ prayers and love), I stumbled upon a passage in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

“Rest in Me, My child.  Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen.  Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day.  Remember that you are on a journey with Me.  When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment.  As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don’t even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours.  How foolish you are, My child!

Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline.  Never lose sight of My Presence with you.  This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.”

I physically needed Him.  I needed to seek His presence and feel His touch.  I needed my Jesus back, my constant companion that would hold my hand and lead me through His divine plan.

So today, half way around the world in Ethiopia, I took my Jesus’ hand as He lead me past all my fears, worries and doubts and into a tiny, green room.  He stood there with me, knowing I needed his constant presence.  As the rain began to pour outside, He revealed His beautiful, perfect, flawless plan, and my precious baby was placed into my arms.  I no longer knew the distant God that I became satisfied with.  I stood cradling our beautiful daughter, with my husband holding me, and my Jesus’ arms around us all.  Forever changed.

This morning, I woke up nervous and excited for our court date.  I opened Jesus Calling and this is what it said:

“You are My beloved child.  I chose you before the foundation of the world, to walk with Me along paths designed uniquely for you.”

And then, the verse given was Ephesians 1:4.  I took out my bible, and here is what it said:

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In LOVE”

As I do so often with books, I had to keep reading.  What my eyes saw made my heart and soul swell with joy and love.  He hadn’t forgotten me.  He needed me to go through the trials and make me the person I am now to show me and confirm our adoption.  Here is what I read:

“He predestined us TO BE ADOPTED as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”

How unbelievable is that?  For a person (me) who is filled with doubt (thank goodness He forgives), I was speechless that this was the passage presented for June 18, the day we officially adopt our baby.  I know I am not deserving of His attention or love, but I feel so fully blessed by both right now.

The landscape here is breathtaking.  The city is surrounded by mountains, and colorful houses speckle the hillside.  There are street vendors throughout the neighborhoods selling everything from shoes to butchered oxen (freshly cut for each customer) to bright yellow bananas and grilled corn (which smell amazing.)  The streets are so busy that it is almost overwhelming at times.

And, all the pretty people!  I have never in my life seen such striking beauty.  There are children dressed in school uniforms running through the streets with book bags bouncing side to side.  Women carry their babies on their backs and hold the hands of the young children as they cross the street.  It is not uncommon for a man to put his arm around another man’s shoulders as they stroll down the road.  Bo keeps commenting at how everyone seems so happy here.

It has rained two out of the four days we have been here.  Which, of course, I love.  We go up on the roof and watch the storms roll in.  Yesterday afternoon, it seemed like the whole city was watching the “football” game between Ethiopia and South Africa.  Each time the ball would get close to the goal, there were squeals from every direction.  Ethiopia won, 2-1!  This means they qualify for the World Cup.  It is the first time in 30 years!  Everyone was so excited.  People were running through the streets in soccer uniforms and waving the Ethiopian flag!  It was so fun to see.

Needless to say, we feel blessed to experience this beautiful country and its people.  So excited for the next few days!

Both of us got plenty of sleep throughout the 14 hour journey.  The seats laid completely flat and there were even “stars” on the ceiling.

AND, as an added bonus, our flight attendant was a beautiful Ethiopian!  After the luxurious flight, we landed at the Dubai airport (a stunning one) and hit a little bump in the plans.  When we booked our flights, Emirates told us they would pay for a hotel during our 22 hour layover.  However, once we got to their counter, there was no hotel to be had.  After a git of a breakdown on my part, we finally were able to find a hotel, Park Regency Dubai, for a decent price and arrived there around 3 pm.  Dubai is really beautiful.  It is such a melting pot of ethnicity and religion but all seem to really respect one another.  We didn’t get to do too much sightseeing but were able to eat dinner on the 19th floor of the hotel and had an amazing view of the Middle East City of Lights.

The meal was really delicious too!  How could I resist ordering the “Arabian Mezzeh Plate”?

After dinner, we spent a little time out on the roof of the hotel taking in the sights and sounds, and then headed off to bed.  At that point, we were pretty exhausted, so we fell asleep around 8:30.  At 12 am, we were both wide awake, staring at the ceiling.  So we decided to watch three episodes of The Office on our portable DVD player (thanks mom!)  We both tried to fall back asleep but only in vain, because we both woke up again around 3 am.  We put on The Office again, watched another three episodes and decided we were hungry, so we ate three of Audra’s AMAZING chocolate chip cookies!!!  (I am pretty sure it was the best cookie I have ever had!)  I think we finally fell back asleep around 5 and had to be up at 6 to catch our flight.  It was an interesting night to say the least.  Although, I have to say I will always remember snacking on cookies in bed with Bo at 3 am.

The flight from Dubai to Addis was pretty uneventful, and we arrived at Bole Airport at 1:30 pm.  Our AWESOME driver, Tesfy, picked us up and drove us through the CRAZY Ethiopian streets to our guest house.  (I will make another post with pics about how wonderful and gorgeous this country is.)  Everyone has been so amazingly nice and accommodating.  As soon as we dropped our bags in our room, they asked us if we wanted to go meet our baby!!!  We were pretty shocked, as we were not prepared to meet her until the next day.  I quickly changed into my very well thought out “meeting precious baby” outfit, and we headed to the foster home.  I will share the story of meeting her in the next couple days.  It deserves its own novel.  It changed my life to say the least and opened my eyes to God’s pure glory and love.

Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for our court date on Tuesday (Monday evening for you guys).  We love and miss everyone but are soaking up beautiful Ethiopia and our amazing new life.

So here we are.  Sitting in the Emirates lounge (stocked with all my fave Middle Eastern goodies, I might add), waiting to take off to begin the rest of our life as a new, improved version of the Neichoy family.  Please pray for safety and peace of mind.

I don’t even know what’s going on in this pic.  Make a caption for it!  It kind of demonstrates the craziness this morning!

Roasted tomatoes…uh huh.

Goat cheese crostini…brotha pleaze!!

I made Ina Garten’s Roasted Tomato Basil Soup last night after needing to find a recipe ASAP for my freshly harvested basil.  This recipe has always been a favorite of mine, and since it SNOWED in Borger yesterday (seriously Mother Nature, it’s freaking Avril…that’s April in French) I decided it would be perfect for dinner.  I usually serve this recipe with grilled cheese (sourdough bread with equal amounts of cheddar and fontina), but I recently made some goat cheese and decided to serve that on crostinis.  Ina’s recipe does not call for cream, but when has that ever hurt anything?  So I added about 1/4 cup of cream at the very end.  It turned out to be de-dang-licious.  We ate it while watching the season finale of Justified, and I must say, the soup was far more satisfying than the show.

salt and peppered beauties

After 45 minutes at 400 F…oven roasted goodness!!!!

Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

modified from recipe found on foodnetwork.com

Ingredients

3 pounds ripe plum tomatoes, cut in half lengthwise

¼ cup plus two TBSP olive oil

1 TBSP Kosher salt

1 ½ tsp freshly cracked black pepper

2 cups chopped yellow onions (about 2 onions)

6 garlic cloves minced

2 TBSP unsalted butter

¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes

1 (28 oz) can whole peeled tomatoes

4 cups fresh basil leaves, packed

1 tsp fresh thyme leaves

1 quart chicken stock

¼ cup heavy cream

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  Place cut tomatoes in a single layer on a baking sheet (that has a rim to catch juices).  Drizzle ¼ cup olive oil over tomatoes and sprinkle with 1 TBSP salt and 1 ½ tsp pepper.  Roast in preheated oven for 45 minutes.

In an 8 qt stock pot over medium heat, sauté the onions and garlic with 2 TBSP olive, the butter, and the red pepper flakes for 10 minutes or until the onions are slightly browned.  Add the canned tomatoes (with their juice), thyme, basil, and chicken stock.  Add the oven roasted tomatoes including the liquid on the cooking sheet.  Bring to boil and let simmer uncovered for 45 minutes.  Pass through a food mill fitted with the coarsest blade into a large bowl.  Add cream and stir to combine.  Taste for seasonings.

Note:  A food mill is a great (and not too expensive) piece of kitchen equipment.  I have an OXO and have loved it.  However, if you don’t have a food mill, you can use and immersion blender or plain ole blender.  Your soup will just be a little more finely pureed and less chunky.

Usually when someone says pork chops are what’s for dinner, I am not like, “Oh yummy!  Just the protein I was craving!”  No sir.  I am more like, “Guess steak wasn’t on sale, and we have had chicken the past fourteen days straight.”

I have a “friend” (that shall not be named) that said his mother used to cook pork chops so often when he was a kid that he thought they were call “poor chops.”  Which made me laugh so freakin’ hard.  He really thought they were called poor chops until he went off to college.  I bet that was a funny conversation.  I wonder if he corrected anyone when they said “pork chops”.  He was like “Na dude.  Those aren’t pork chops, they are poor chops!”  And then that person was like…”Dude” and then gave a blank stare and then walked away.  Hard lessons I tell ya, hard lessons for us small town folk.  Which reminds me, I used to think the praise song All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name was “Let angels PROSTATE fall” (It is actually PROSTRATE fall.  BIG difference.)  This didn’t really confuse me until I learned what a prostate was, and then I was like, “Wow, what are we singing about here in church?!”  I can’t believe my mother let me belt that out!  Anyway, I digress.

So…poor chops…I mean pork chops are not given the respect I now know they deserve.  The goodness of pork: It is usually a pretty good deal at the market, and it is quick to cook.  But here is the issue, many people overcook pork chops, and they can get really tough (Mom, are you reading this?)  There are a couple ways to avoid this.  1. Buy thicker chops (they need to be at least 1 inch) 2. Undercook them slightly.  I realize most people think it is wrong to have any pink in their pork, but here’s the squeeze on pink…It is okay to have a little in the middle of your pork!  Repeat it with me, It is OKAY to have a little pink in the middle of your pork!  Back in 2011, the USDA came out saying that pork was safe to eat at 145 degrees.  So embrace the pink!!  Unless it’s chicken and then don’t.

B-fry and I tried a new recipe last night, and I would say it was de-dang-licious.  B-fry said, “It’s a keeper.”  So, I challenge you to try it.  Tonight.  Just do it.  And keep it pink.

Pork Chops and Squash with Pumpkin Seed Vinaigrette

by epicurious.com

Ingredients

2 tablespoons shelled pumpkin seeds (pepitas) (note: My little grocer didn’t have pepitas, so I used pine nuts.)

3 pounds winter squash (such as acorn, kabocha, delicata, or butternut), halved, seeded, cut into 1″ wedges (I used butternut and cut into squares)

5 tablespoons olive oil, divided

Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper

4 1″-thick bone-in pork chops

1/2 small garlic clove, finely grated

3 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh cilantro plus leaves for garnish

2 tablespoons (or more) fresh lime juice

Directions

Preheat oven to 425°F.  Spread out pumpkin seeds on a large rimmed baking sheet. ,Toast, tossing once, until just beginning to darken, about 4 minutes.  Let cool.  Coarsely chop; set aside.

Toss squash with 1 tablespoon oil on a large rimmed baking sheet; season with salt and pepper.  Roast squash, turning occasionally, until golden brown and tender, 35-40 minutes.

When squash has been roasting for 30 minutes, heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large heavy skillet over medium-high heat.  Season pork chops with salt and pepper and cook until brown, 5-8 minutes.  Turn over and cook until pork is cooked through, about 3 minutes longer.

Whisk garlic, 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro, 2 tablespoons lime juice, reserved toasted pumpkin seeds, and remaining 3 tablespoons oil in a small bowl to combine.  Season vinaigrette with salt, pepper, and more lime juice (I ALWAYS use more lime juice), if desired.

Divide squash and pork among plates; spoon vinaigrette over.  Top with cilantro leaves.

One of my favorite Crock Pot recipes is Chicken Tortilla Soup (an extremely quick and easy one!)  There are so many different versions to this recipe…some are creamy, some have pureed corn tortillas in them, but this one is my favorite so far.  Even though it is a delicious soup that is warming and comforting, it is also quite refreshing with.  I have served this in all four seasons and get rave reviews each time.  Like many soups, I think the toppings take it from mundane to super delish.  You can be creative with this one, but I definitely recommend the chips and lime juice.  Pairing suggestions: Negra Modelo-the sweet maltiness of the beer enhances the tomato base of the soup.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Ingredients

4 chicken breast halves
1 garlic clove, minced
2 Tbsp butter
2 14 1/2 oz cans of chicken broth
2 14 1/2 oz cans chopped stewed tomatoes

1 Cup salsa (whatever hotness you can handle)
1/2 Cup chopped cilantro
2 Tbsp or more ground cumin
Tortilla Chips
8 oz Monterrey Jack or cheddar cheese, shredded

Sour Cream
Avocados
Lime juice

Tortilla chips

Directions

1. Cook, debone and shred chicken. (Or go to the store and buy a rotisserie chicken.  I won’t tell on ya.)
2. Add minced garlic to butter in slow cooker.  Saute.
3. Combine next 5 ingredients.
4. Cover.  Cook on Low 8-10 hours. (Disclaimer: I have tried it on high for 4-5 hours, but I don’t see why it would work.  Someone let me know if you try it!)
5. When ready to serve, pour soup in bowl.  Top with crushed tortilla chips, cheese, sour cream, avocado and lime juice.  Enjoy!!!

Bo and I are in the midst of making some minor changes to our kitchen.  With the amazing help of Bailey Quinn McCarthy of Peppermint Bliss (this woman is my design idol), I have decided to paint our cabinets a beautiful shade of green and add brass hardware to the doors and drawers.  I am so excited to get started on the painting!  I have been perusing magazines for months and months trying to find some inspiration.  Here are some kitchens that I think are divine.

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Miles Redd-the master {v}

Bailey Quinn McCarthy at Peppermint Bliss

Martha Stewart’s Coffee Station

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Well, there you have it.  Those kitchens could inspire anyone.  Thoughts?