An Ounce of Truth, A Grain of Indifference

Truth # 4

2013-02-27T09:59:00.002-06:00

Every one changes during the life of a relationship.

Make your change positive!

Loving Hate - When Partners Turn Violent

2013-02-27T09:56:00.001-06:00

Some people I know do not watch the news. They do not like how violent it is. They do not mind going without hearing what happened in the day if that meant avoiding hearing of the senseless killing by their fellow-men. Unfortunately I am not like them.

I am soon to be though one of them though, because this last week has been torture.

How can you kill the children you brought into this world just because their mother left you? How can you claim to love a woman and is practically begging her to come back and at the same time attacked her and place a cutlass at her throat?

I know the mother is grieving but that too would have been her fate if she had dared to go back to this murderous man she once loved. He was obviously a demon in disguise because the kind of heart that lead him to do that must be dark inside and out.

A warning to ladies and men, take all threats very seriously. There is a thin line between love and hate. Sometimes we hear of stories of people moving out when their partner is at work or of mothers leaving their young children and going away. And sometimes we ourselves chastise the mother , saying she is a 'careless mother' to leave her child. Sometimes the man will abuse the woman and will not hurt the child, so why should we condemn a woman to death by insisting she stays 'for the sake of the child'?

Take a note from the movie below, and use humour to highlight how quickly and deadly relationships can turn.

If you see abuse happening, call the police. Newspapers tend to highlight how an attacker is often ' a good man' according to community standards, but some of the times these accolades are rooted in us not wanting to 'speak ill of the dead'. As neighbours we sometimes know that the abuse was going on all along.

Watch out for the psychos in your own home and keep an eye out for your neighbours too.

See related article..
http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20130227/lead/lead1.html

My..truth..

Moving on from hopelessville

2012-10-17T14:22:00.003-05:00

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are hopeless and pointless. Yet sometimes the will to extract ourselves from such situations may elude us and maybe it is not the will as much as it is the “way”. The support may not be there emotionally or maybe the purse is just too empty to make a big step. You have found yourself in Hopelessville, a place where many of us spend some time at some time or the other.

How do we move from Hopelessville?

Firstly you need support in the form of a best friend or family member. Every big step in life will need someone to talk it over with, someone who can be a sounding board and whose judgment you trust.
Make a “big list” of all that you need for the big move. You may need money to start a new career, capital to start a new business or furniture to make a big physical move.
Seek out resources for everything in your “big list”. Place precedence on the cheapest and most convenient avenues.
Take the big leap. Yes! Take a deep breath and jump.

Living in Hopelessville does not have to be the last sentence in your life’s story. Whatever course you want to chart you can do it with a little commitment and throughput.
If you need help in the big move.. I will be there.

My truth, what is yours?

Better than board

2012-10-10T15:25:00.001-05:00

I read an article in the paper the other day. Home owners in Portmore were complaining that their (much poorer) neighbors were devaluing their properties by building cheap board houses beside their more expensive concrete homes.

Now, in all fairness when the complainants first bought their lots the lot beside them was empty and maybe bushed up. The government had to relocate some poor residents however and sold the lot beside them to these poor folks. After probably begging and scraping together to purchase the land the persons were now broke and could not afford to actually build a house on the lot. They turned to The Food For The Poor who helped them by donating some one bedroom board structures so that they would at least have a roof over their heads while they saved.

I could make a point here that many houses in the US are made of board like material and board houses can be made into magnificent architectural creations. So if we go to the US and are comfortable buying board houses and sleeping in them, why cannot we give our own neighbors a chance to “move up in life'”. In fact there are more board houses in Jamaica then concrete, and most persons moving from rural Jamaica probably lived in a board house or has a relative who live in a board houses. Why the high horsed approach?

We would think that some persons would be happy for those poor persons who got a boost in life. They have now moved up to be land owners, and though their houses are not made of the more formal concrete they now have a roof over their heads. How less ‘accommodating’ can we be if we should now insist that the government move these people or insist that they upgrade their houses so as to “fit” into the “scheme” of things.

Do not not think that the same way the more affluent are caught up by the poor man’s blight, the poor must be looking over their walls and aspiring to have a “house like that some day”. if indeed they are not, and have no ambition, then there is little we can do to force “ambition” down their throats. They are landowners and have a right, once approval is given to have a roof, however ‘shingled” it may be.

My truth..what say you?

open season on men

2012-09-04T17:01:00.001-05:00

Every year, more males are born than females. This may be the reason.

I am scared for our males. Our sons, husbands, boyfriends, baby-fathers and our fathers are in a war zone. A target is on their backs and those who love them should be scared.

I am VERY scared.

Our men are dying at an alarming rate. The gun is shooting them down, knives are sticking them down and even heart attacks are attacking them out of the blue. In the space of three weeks 3 men I I knew died. No they were murdered.

None of them were my friends, but it seems like it was the first time in my life that I could relate the death scenarios on the daily news to so many faces.

Men who have fathered children, men who themselves were “children”… our men.

We try to tell our boys to stay away from “bad company”. “Do not stay out late” is a momma’s mantra. However we have come to see death at sleepovers. Death when coming from the grocery store like our young brother Trayvon Martin, death just because…Gang initiations, friends showing off loaded weapons, psychos who don't like Batman-The Dark Knight.

We have to be wary and try not to be weary. Our advice is still relevant. But we also need to be more alert. Suspicion is the order of the day until this war is declared done and the enemy withdraws.

Until then, pray for our men.

Happy Funerals

2012-06-25T17:54:00.001-05:00

I went to a funeral on Sunday. I was what you would call, uneventful, no one cried for the dead.

It’s sad that in this world we live in, young people seem to die so much more than old people. Older persons are living longer and persons in my age group cannot seem to find the elixir to life. Some old people love to eat pork, beef, ice-cream, all the thing the doctor warns us sternly about and yet they live to almost infinite ages. What really is the secret to a long life?

At the church, while the remembrance was being given I poked my sister and told her a silly joke. She looked at me despairingly and tried her best to ignore me. I poked her again and smiled. Of course this time I got more than a look. She asked, in a disapproving voice “ You really are here to celebrate life huh?”. I conceded that I was, because coming to the funeral of a lovely soul who got the opportunity to have 100 graceful years on this earth should be a joyous occasion. She was 100!

No one cried at the funeral. No one cried at the graveside, well, except a girl of about 6 who was probably a great-great grandchild and who probably never before saw a body being lowered into a grave. She probably never saw concrete that was so… final…as it boxed our loved one, in pink-flowered casket and all.

I was not sad. She was a wonderful woman. She always had a smile from ear to ear, sometimes I think I could move my mouth… not make ea sound and she would still smile. A devout Christian the congregants said, a melodious voice they said, a wonderful addition to God’s kingdom.. So indeed why cry?

I cannot really be sad at funerals again anyway, even if I wanted to be. This is because of a funeral I attended in 2006. A little boy, my son, though not of my flesh, lay in eternal rest. I was heartbroken, I never questioned life as much as I did in that period. After that, I changed. There would be no more sad funerals for me.

The truth is, if i get to be 100, I want to be celebrated, because the generations I have brought forth should then know longevity runs in the family, our days are not necessarily numbered three(3) score plus ten, and there may still be eternity after the age of 60.

My sombre truth, what say you?

Saying “I Love You”

2012-06-20T14:23:00.001-05:00

The truth is, you can’t rush love. (J.R.)

“I Love you” are words some of us wait decades to hear. If we never grew up hearing it then by watching movies we learn that at sometime during most relationships it is expected that the words will be said. So after a few months, individuals may start to discuss with their friends the status of their current relationship and many women will not even count the relationship as serious until those words are said. This kind of pressure to say “I Love You”, especially if one party has already proffered these words can lead to an impasse. Here, the second party may end up saying “I Love You” before actually being in love. This works out for some couples as the love may eventually come, but for others this situation can be the horn that heralds trouble. The party out in the cold may have said “I Love You” to get it over with but there may be serious repercussions for doing so. Therefore I highlight some instances where saying “I love you” may not be a good thing.

RULES of “I Love You”

Saying “I Love You” before you actually mean it may give the other party false hopes. They may start to think the relationship is more serious than it really is.
Saying “I Love You” early in the relationship, like two weeks in, can be a deal breaker. I personally would be scared of any fellow who said “I love You” too soon. I would instantly think he is just trying to get in my pants and thought those words would get him there in a flash.
Saying “I Love You” for the first time while making love may seem like a good thing, but hey, as far as I know you love the pleasure and not necessarily me. Try to save these special words for a time when your partner will be focused enough to hear it.
Saying “I Love You” should be a private thing. No matter how much you think the other person reciprocates your feelings, it may be best to prevent an awkward situation by testing their reaction in private.

I do not pretend to know all the rules of the game, but from my experience, these tips are some you can live by.

My truth.. What say you?

Blogger Labels: Love,words,relationships,individuals,friends,status,relationship,impasse,Here,situation,breaker,pants,truth,repercussions,instances

Truth#3

2012-01-13T13:03:00.000-06:00

It is impossible to love someone with your all,
without loving yourself a little less.

Truth #2

2012-01-13T12:57:00.001-06:00

Money

Good friends are better than pocket money until those 'good friends' need some cash themselves.

Truth #1

2011-12-06T16:08:00.001-06:00

Show me a bad guy, and I can show you a woman who thinks she can tame him.

I am starting a new series called truth and indifferences. I will post some statements of truth as I see them and we can discuss or some opinions I do not care for (indifferences) i.

You know you are getting fat when..

2011-11-09T10:00:00.000-06:00

Technorati Tags: fat,weight,jamaica,children,kids,jeans,favourite,blog,joedian,Jamaica,Blog,high,school

The other morning my son said..”Mommy why your tummy so fat? Are you gonna have another baby”?” and I sighed..Loudly..

No, I am not going to have another baby. I am just a victim of the aging process and the ‘lazing’ process – if there is such a word. In other words I am getting older and lazier. Yup. That is what happens as soon as you leave high school it seems, the pounds start piling on, 1/2 pound at first them 1 pound,then by the time you blink, you cannot fit into your favorite jeans. You know the one. The one that fits your waist with just enough squeeze to not fall down and not too much to hurt. The one that fits your ass purrfectly.. The one you could misplace for half a year and still fit into when you found it. The one you had on when you met your mate.. or something like that. lol .

Suddenly the darn jeans don’t fit.. Nope. Not even if you lay flat on the bed and wriggle. No even if you lotion first. Not even if you skipped dinner. Not even if you suck your tummy in really tight. That’s the sure sign right there. You are putting on weight and you don’t need the scale you have been hiding from to tell you. That’s me right there sans jeans, because I can’t fit into the ones I love. I have migrated to loose tops and stretchy pants..

After two kids, I guess I should not feel bad about a ‘little weight’. Note that only the people not putting on any weight at all can define the problem as ‘little’. They probably weigh the same since high school. *darn*.

I hate the gaining weight part because I hate the solution part..Exercise and eating well. I can cut down the salt and eat less fried stuff at home, but the food at work sucks!! So much so that I have to eat at KFC and Burger King more often than I should. I snack a lot more too since I can’t finish the lunch. Cook and take lunch to work? Sounds easy huh, but as I said 2 kids, which means even though I wake up at 5am I can’t get out of the house before 8am. Most times I don’t even eat breakfast, which results in me starving and being forced to snack when I get to work.

*Sigh* How is your weight challenge going? It is often a challenge, putting on, taking off or even staying at the weight you are at, if that is what you want to do. Instead you, put on weight when you want to lose, lose when you want to gain and fluctuate when all you want to do is wear your favorite pair of jeans..

The dark side of Suicide?

2011-11-07T09:36:00.001-06:00

I was reading an article this morning titled ‘The dark side of suicide” and it made me wonder.. Is there a bright side? Is there a side that we should elevate and call ‘light’, ‘bright’, ‘good’.

In my opinion, I think not. I have long thought of suicide to be a selfish act which often-times cause so much anguish on the part of those left behind, it could be akin to the murder of the deceased. To me suicide is ‘dark’ because;

The dead person seems to get off ‘easy’ compared to the life of pain and regret experienced by loved ones left behind.
There is a ‘I should have seen the signs’ left on the minds of those loved ones left behind.
Those left behind torment themselves to think that they weren't enough to make the deceased want to live.
There is the financial burden of providing for a funeral, because even though the surviving family may be angry at the the deceased they are more inclined to throw their all in saying a ‘proper’ farewell.
Suicide is a trigger which often illicit similar feelings in other persons. Suicidal thoughts are ‘catching’.

Even though many people ponder the act as a way out from trying situations, most persons do not actually go through with it. You can guarantee that many persons you come in contact with on a daily basis have encountered that feeling, and have gone a dark place where they may have thought death was the better option. We should be careful to encourage others as much as we can and be optimistic in our conversations with others. We may not be shadowed by the suicide demon, but by helping someone else have a good day you may make them want to live another day. It is difficult see the signs in a suicidal person and most persons will not tell you how they feel because they will feel ‘ashamed’. We sometimes feel like we are prying when we ask someone ‘what’s wrong?’, yet we lament, after the fact, that we should have tried harder to make an impact. People don’t show a sad face for no reason at all. Try and cheer up the next sad faced person you encounter. Share a smile. :-)

2011 - The Good Samaritan Evolved

2011-10-24T16:29:00.001-05:00

Who would have thought this story would have played out again in the 21st century? A child in desperate, critical, human-inflicted need ,laying mangled on a street have proven not to be enough to stir the hearts of men.

What could have predicted my horror at seeing a video on YouTube where a two year old child was ran over by two SEPARATE vans and lay in a busy marketplace bloody and dying, yet about 16 ADULTS passed by, some even going to the other side of the street, NOT ONE of them stopped to offer assistance. It brought chills to my body watching it, as my anguish turned to anger. Where had humanity gone?

What can trigger the hearts of men to empathize with their neighbor and display a genuine concern for their well being?

View the video below and decide for yourself. It is graphic.

How can you not wish the most vile punishment for the drivers of the two vehicles and the passersby alike? In the end it was a scavenger – a person who collects scrap to sell- who found the child and rushed to his assistance. As she looked up and down the market for help there was none. She tried to pull the battered child up, he almost fell to pieces in her hands.

Great is the void that blurs our compassion.

If that was your child, how would you feel? I hear stories of persons getting hit down by cars of even shot and of passersby refusing to take the injured to hospital because they didn't want to get their car seat ‘bloodied up’. How much do we value a life? How much do we value the feeling of triumph when our valiant efforts are rewarded?

Once I was walking and saw a kitten on the side of the road, wet from the torrential rain. Its little whimpers drew my eyes to find it as it lay in a pile of leaves, I bent down to examine the gray little bundle, it was so small it could probably fit in the palm my hand. It was covered with maggots(fly larvae) and was badly bruised. My heart shivered. I wanted to take it home but there were so many logical reasons I couldn’t. I was staying with my aunt in a tiny place – NO ANIMALS ALLOWED. I forced my self to walk on and prayed that someone else would save it. It was not there on my journey back, and I do no know what happened. I still remember that cat though, each time I think that my inaction could have passively killed it. You will find out how I did try to make up for it in a next post . :-)

If such compassion can be felt for a cat, how much more so for a human? My truth. What say you?.

G.R.E. (Get Real Educators)

2010-07-09T14:02:00.001-05:00

This higher education thing is seeming more and more a money grubbing exercise where people pay high application fees and still have to pay high ‘entrance exam’ fees.

There was one reason I never wanted to do my masters in the US, well … one main reason anyway. I didn't want to do the Graduate Record Exam(GRE). I thought it was a dumb high school level exam that people with their undergrad degrees should not have to subject themselves to, not because we are special but it is just proving the point that last minute swatting can outdo real smarts.

I therefore applied to schools in Canada, but lo and behold, the worlds fascination with US standards has proven itself to be true once again, and ‘international students are “ highly recommended” to submit GRE scores’. *sigh*.

So I did the darn exam, and because I had to sign a confidentially agreement, I can only say it was just like the practice exam, High School level stuff. I had to prove I went to high school and paid almost US$200 to boot – and that was just the exam fee. I passed -others were not that lucky.

In the hallway I had met a lady, who when I enquired about the exam said it was ‘ok’ with tear filled eyes. When her friends came out of the exam beaming, she burst into tears after explaining that she had a 4.0 GPA and graduated Summa Cum Laude, yet this ‘dumb exam’ was telling her that she was ‘stupid’ just because she didn't take exams well.. *sigh*

I am sure the exam providers don't care, no matter how ungrateful I may be at their genius at designing a test that Universities all over the world would want to judge their graduates by.

My truth.

Race of the Educated

2010-07-05T11:50:00.001-05:00

If education is not a shackle what can it be? Because all a man needs is a job he can do with what knowledge he has, yet he gets stuck in a cycle of getting knowledge he will never use.

I was tired of school 7 years ago when I finished high school, I was tired 5 years ago when I finished 6th form, I was tired 3 years ago when I finished my B.Sc. and I am still tired from all of that. But, I have to press on still, thinking M.Sc.’s and PHD’s almost 24/7. even thought many jobs have not become harder, like flipping burgers for instance, but yet they need freaking high school diplomas.

There are many people complaining about the need for high qualifications to do menial jobs, I have to tell them ‘Imagine its your business, if you could get a college graduate to do the job and pay him at the same rate as a high school graduate, which would you prefer?’. It is sometimes as simple as that, some markets are saturated with degrees in fields of low hiring and as such, these graduates are sometimes forced to work way below their pay scale, and of course the companies get ‘educated’ help at a cheaper rate.

I am in no means saying the more education you have the more capable you are at doing ‘any’ job, but seriously some employers just want to know you can read, and having a degree proves just that and eliminates the need for some trivial entrance test. As some HR persons would say, a degree makes you employable.

So now I am employed, and happy to be employed too, but guess what… to keep this job I just got to keep on getting the education I may not ever use, at schools which I may hate , to keep the job I may lose.

My truth..you?

Bad Luck being Worst than Obeah

2010-07-05T10:58:00.001-05:00

I haven't written in a long time. I guess you can say life has finally grabbed me by the bull horns and is now riding me for all I am worth.

I have had the fortune of having wonderful friends and some of them have had the misfortune of having horrendous luck. I wish sometimes that when I am here praising my lucky stars for something that just came through right on time, I could be comforted by the fact that things are going well for them also.

Well life is not like that. We all have our doldrums, some of us more than others. If I believed in obeah/voodoo/witchcraft I would probably cast my blame that way. But I don't believe in such things.

Imagine though.. have something ever happened to you that is so bad, or have such bad timing that it is impossible to think that it may just be fate?. and it crosses your mind, once or twice that maybe someone must hate you very much.. And because we would not like to think that it is God, we say it must be a human in synch with the devil, rubbing up oils and chanting around fires to get you down.. And you may even start to flash back a little, thinking of the ‘bad’ things you did.. maybe the boyfriends/girlfriends you stole or even someone you may have been mean to.. and you wonder where little ‘bucked teeth Shirley is’..

*Sigh* . Life just gets us like that sometimes, but we should all know even though ‘to whom much is given much is expected’, this doesn't mean constant bad luck means you are unfavoured. It means your purpose in life is so tremendous and awe-inspiring , you need to a little toughening up first.

To all my friends and others who may be experiencing bad times in their lives, keep on, press on, move on. There are better days ahead. XXX.

Wallowing in our own mud

2010-05-17T14:04:00.001-05:00

This crime thing is getting out of hand, indeed it has taken up its own feet and is terrorizing the nation. What are we to do?

Life in Jamaica can now be depicted exactly as the above picture shows, we are all targets! We are a big school of fish in a small pond waiting to be hooked. Great emphasis should be placed on the world school because it is either that we as a society has not learned or the classes are empty, because there is nothing substantial that have been done to curtail this giant menace. It is tragic to think that the days when people would think they would die of old age are long gone, instead most people, especially our men are content to even making it to thirty.

I don't understand it. Days are gone when people would murder solely for revenge, it is like they are robbing you now and killing you just because ‘you shouldn't have something so nice anyway’. I am appalled to think that children are growing up in a society that will soon lack all ambition because you become a target for what you have and have earned though HARD WORK. I guess hard work is now a crime.

Case in point, just this morning there was a story in the newspaper about a robbery that occurred in some ‘rich’ neighborhood. Apparently, the thieves cowardly killed the sole female in the house by stabbing her repeatedly, bounding her, and also cutting her throat. You may ask what kinds of diamonds they made off with. I don't know, but I am sure it was nothing that justified killing her. What the story does say is that they found appliances in the driveway next to her car, apparently the thieves couldn't start it and had to abandon the mission. These criminals are robbing people of their loved ones and the country of its soul and sometimes for NOTHING!.

And for some people, like me, they are robbing us of our patriotic right to stay in our own country and make it better.*sigh*

My truth, what say you?

Whoaaah, No U.S. Visa huh?

2010-04-30T14:08:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the club Beenie, Bounty and Movado. I do not have one either, but then again, that's not how I pay my bills.

The newest ‘news’ on the street is of course the news that some of our more popular DJ’s have lost their US visa’s for work and personal travel, with no reason being given. I feel it for them, not because I understand what they are going trough, but because I understand that they stand to lose a lot of money by not being able to perform at the many gigs I am sure they would have been getting this summer in the US and Europe. There is also bad news for the taxman, because less revenue means less tax.

I find it very comical how grown – and educated- men and women sit debating and writing letters to the editors of various magazines about the plights of these entertainers. Most of these ‘contributors’ act like they couldn't wait for such a thing to have befallen their fellow brothers. Some of them blame the consequences on anti-gay songs sung by some of the artistes. There are however many artists who are vocally against homosexuality and still have their visas, so the verdict is still out. Some critics are up in heaven rejoicing at the fact that some of the ‘lewd’ songs being sung by these DJ’s will now not be heard by U.S.’s kids, implying that these DJs were the source of all the worldly music that is unfriendly to kids and totally ignoring the fact that all these songs are still in cyberspace.

Quite frankly I cannot judge what prompted the US to cancel such visa’s and unless they get a written reason I doubt most of these DJ's know what these reasons are. I just think people should stop rejoicing when bad or damaging things befall each other. This is not a good trait.

Just be happy that you still have your visa, and maybe try and censor the music that doesn't need to fly in on airplanes to your kids, but is right there on the internet.

If bad guys were like ‘Swiper’ the Fox

2010-04-22T16:41:00.001-05:00

If only the bad guys had bright a orange tail that was visible over bushes so that as you passed by you would be able to view them and thus avoid danger. Wishful thinking huh?

I will keep wishing though. Trial is about to begin on the case of a serial rapist, one who has posed as a taxi driver and raped many women in the rural parishes of Jamaica. So far, the crown claims they have 30 statements from victims that he raped, robbed or both.

The only thing the victims distinctly remembered, his ‘large, red lips’. In any other situation this may have been, well … trivial , but this fact and the numerous little details that were provided , resulted in a sketch finally being made.

The Result:

After week and months of searching he was finally apprehended, identified and is now in custody. If only his big lips were only just MORE than noticeably and actually screamed the fact that he was a predator, I am sure his victims would have heeded.

The streets are a bit safer now, but, I still wish bad guys had bushy tails like Swiper the fox that rustles when he hides in the bushes.

That would be fabulous!

*Swiper the Fox is a fictional Nickelodeon character from the cartoon Dora the Explorer. He always tries to swipe stuff, but is usually detected and deterred before doing so.

Empathizing with you

2010-04-13T14:10:00.001-05:00

“Empathy is a way for me to be less confrontational and less insensitive to people in their time of pain.”

I have grown from where I try to find reasons to justify the outcome, to a point where I can accept the results and trying to share the grief of family and friends who are left grieving after a particularly traumatic situation.

I wasn't always like that. Once there was a part of me that blamed people for driving drunk and 'killing' themselves, or 'careless' persons who neglectfully cause accidents and eventually, a life of pain and suffering for remaining loved ones. But is it always the way it seems? More importantly, since we cant go back in past and change tragedies, shouldn’t recovery be the ideal road to take instead of bitterness/revenge?

In recent tragedies there have been so much blame being thrown around. In Haiti people want to blame the structure of the buildings on improper building codes, the poverty of the people on America and other superpowers and the suffering of the people on their ‘satanic’ use of Voodoo. I don't think that's where we should be as a people with bellies that go hungry, families that we feel for and futures that we look to.

In Jamaica, I am tired of persons commenting on these tragic stories with scornful attitudes. Blaming mother’s for their own poverty as a result of having ten children (with no fathers) may be conveying truth, but where does that go in terms of forgiveness and helping a fellow human move forward? Yes, their parents were careless but there bellies are still empty. Lets at least empathize with them, then we may be able to feel our hearts twitch – maybe just enough- to give them a helping hand.

When parents send their children out to school for the first time by themselves and they get abducted, don't spend all the time blaming the parent for what may have been a well thought out decision on their part , and an evil act on the part of the abductor. Take the time to feel even a bit of the pain the parents may be in, think it may just have been you or someone you know personally, just empathize.

My truth, and maybe yours also.

Sexing it up ’at work’..

2010-04-01T12:50:00.001-06:00

I was called a sexist this week. Not a feminist, a ‘sexist’. One who is totally against males –I being a female. I was appalled mainly because of the reason I was called a sexist and not because I have never done anything that could be called sexist – because I have.

Being at my workplace for almost 2.5 years I have noted that my ‘newness’ have worn off. I personally have no problem with that as to me that means I am settling into the organization. That particular day was kind of trying though, as a fellow from another department was assigned a task to do some installations on my PC from 3 weeks before. It still wasn't complete. He kept giving excuses, blamed me a couple times for requesting the wrong thing, kept leaving me the tools to do it myself etc. etc. And of course I didn't report him because I was being ‘nice’, but I did eventually let him know how he was hindering my tasks by commending his lack of work ethics (in a sarcastic way). Of course I would get irritated, and not just because I was a female.

I have realized years ago that If you do not exhibit some form of sexuality to men, which can in turn garner some kind of physical attraction, they downgrade your priority. Men are sometimes ruled so much by attraction and their libido that most women have seen instances in which males will trip over themselves to gain a female’s attraction. This is in no way a non-compliment to me. It just means that those men wouldn't be worth the hassle as they are too easily swayed. Why should I need to be flirty to get a man to stop for an hour to do his job..the job that he is PAID TO DO..
My truth, what's yours?

In Dubio Abstine

2010-03-29T13:15:00.001-06:00

I came across this phrase last week, and could instantly apply it to my life and the life of others around me. It means literally 'when in doubt, abstain'. This can be a motto for so many aspects of our lives, where the obvious choice is so rife with uncertainty, we need a glimmer of guidance, maybe a glowing path - or maybe a rainbow road- to see us through.

As a friend of mine -who is in the dating world - said to me, "doubt is always a factor in the dating stage of any relationship". I in turn told him that indeed there is always doubt, but there are many kinds of doubt. Doubt that a potential partner will be faithful is much different than the doubt that he/she is as good a cook as he/she says he/she is. The latter is trivial to the pondering doubt that will forever linger in the back of the mind of the 'partner of little faith' until it eventually wears the relationship thin. These types of doubts are the ones that could/should cause us to abstain.

In trivial moments with trivial outcomes we could probably say, 'when in doubt, flip a coin', but in matters of heart, home and health.. I think, when in doubt, abstain.

Shy Girl

2010-03-25T10:23:00.001-06:00

Maybe I am shy. I came to this conclusion today after years of speculating as to why I don't seem to like people. I like persons/individuals yes, but even when these people come together in a group, I want to exit.
It could be that I am antisocial or maybe I am a total control freak and I feel that I am unable to control an environment in which too many people are.
This happens with children too, weird because I love children and I have a ‘child’ and want more. But the same way it is for the big ones, it is even more so with these tiny humans I just cant be around more than 5 of them at a time, especially when they all want to talk – headache!.
I would rather resolve that I am shy than any other weird/psycho analysis, even though some of the stuff that happens when I am in crowds are totally weird ….. to other people. Some of these things include;

feeling faintish
loss of breath
dizziness
tightness of the chest

I could attribute all of this to extreme claustrophobia –which I do have -, but I could be in a totally open space and still feel stifled if too many persons are around.

You know what, I am just weird. I will admit that, and accept it as the truth.

Pleasure Seekers

2010-03-18T10:53:00.001-06:00

That is what we are. Fused into our DNA is the urge to seek a pleasurable response in each act we do. It is understandable that some of the most human craves are based on physically deficiency, such as hunger, but I think the need to fill our bellies hovers on the need for us to feel full - satisfied. We quench our thirst thus eliminating it and making us satisfied, or at least diminishing it to a bearable level. These observations by me are in no means scientifically proven, at least not that I know of or have researched.

My son hates school on and off, depends on his mood in the morning when he awakes, or whether he got the chance to take a toy to school that day. I hated school a lot of times too, but I was gearing up for the ultimate pleasure, unbeknownst to me. What our parents were preparing us for was the ability to be self sufficient, to be educated enough to have a decent job that paid the bills and then some. The pride of accomplishing this feat gives them pleasure, but the greater pleasure is reserved for us.

These pleasures lie in moving out of your family home, not cleaning if you don't want to , eating ice-cream at all hours of the night etc. etc. For the extremely carnally minded, this new found 'freedom' and money to splurge often leads to greater pleasures of intimacy and self exploration. Pleasures that seep into the bones of our being, and on which we thrive the rest of our lives – and strive for, seeking fulfilling companionship, relationships, ‘offices’, distinctions, religious affiliations, then heading for a 'pleasurable’ retirement. Yes, pleasure seekers we all are. We do things more to please ourselves than even others.

My current pleasure? Blogging, ice-cream , family - not necessarily in that order- and of course, other things :-). That's my truth, don't hide your pleasures from yourself.

Technorati Tags: pleasure,humans,seekers

With Technology I can….

2010-03-12T14:19:00.001-06:00

With technology there are so many things I can do that I couldn't do before, it is amazing. Well, maybe I shouldn't say ‘before technology’ and should in fact say, before I could ‘afford’ little bits technology. Some of the things I can now do – that can be made public -are ;

Wash at 7 pm in the night after watching lifetime all day.
Watch cartoons beyond the kids cartoon hour on TVJ or CVM.
Warm up leftovers without lighting the stove.
Help my friends celebrate their special days from miles away.
Send ‘instant’ letters.
‘Google’ information.
Blog
Say ‘hi’ to people I have never met.
Look at pictures of people I never liked in school, and so do not necessarily would look at in person.
Tell lies in a less obvious manner.
Demonstrate the truth by showing pictures with evidence.
Read the paper daily, something that is tedious to do without a computer.
and also spell check.

These are only some of the things of course. There is no need for me to bore you by typing the entire list.