An Ozark State of Mind

"Bye, Bye, Miss American.......CAR!

2013-11-05T08:08:00.003-08:00

It's really getting depressing to see the state of the American auto industry anymore. The flair and flash of designs has been diminished to something resembling a jelly bean. Oddly enough, I'm writing this on the 120th birthday of Raymond Loewy, the most prolific industrial designer in modern history. Some of the bold and imaginative designs he did were the 1951 and 1953 Studebakers, the Studebaker Hawks and the Avanti, plus many other products and logos. Back then, it was the style of a car that mattered. Designers sketched cars to catch your eye, to thrill you enough to buy one. These days, our jelly bean vehicles are marketed on gadgets, gimmicks, and prestige. Very little goes into radical styling any more.
The auto industry has weathered some tough times over the years, and many of the multitude of makes and models no longer exist. Forward looking companies such as Studebaker and Packard are but memories. Gone also, is Oldsmobile, Plymouth, Pontiac, and others. Many died from deep financial wounds, some from corporate downsizing, and a few from excessive government regulations. I highly doubt anyone on congress is bright enough to design cars, much less run the country. Their thinking is molded by lobbyists and their money. Yes, some of the safety laws are fine, but why make them a law? Why not have the manufacturers add them out of the desire to build safer autos? Some of the other laws are obvious nods to the big money benefactors. Remember the 5 MPH bumpers in the early 1970's? What ugly appendages on what were still some good looking cars! Worse yet, the anti-theft steering column lock which is my pet peeve. They can be defeated by any two-bit criminal in an instant, yet car owners must suffer the indignity of jamming the ignition key in the steering column, rather in the dash, where God intended it!
Mileage laws and targets are another factor. A manufacturer must meet an average fuel mileage figure for all the models it produces. That's why all our vehicles today are shaped like jelly beans. This is done to make them more aerodynamic, and cut fuel wasting drag. Funny how a 1959 Studebaker Lark got 29mpg with a nearly flat front end!

Instead, manufacturers copy each others tricks and trade secrets. If a car is a best seller, you can bet all the other manufacturers will produce an awfully similar one soon. Why not drop the rules and oversight, and just build good looking vehicles again? We've done it before, we can do it even better now. Let's replace the "Our cars look just like their cars" motto with "We build excitement!" again?

If you build it, they will come........

Twerky Trot

2013-09-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, television viewers were forced to endure the American Music Awards, which have nothing much to do with music. Awards are given for lame lyrics, inane squawking, and sounding like a chicken getting slaughtered. Sadly, that's the state of music today.
As the numerous "acts" took the stage to fill in the dead parts of the show, viewers were treated to a former Disney star, who was determined to show just how far she had gone from her squeaky clean image.

Miley Cyrus came onstage wearing a rather dumb looking outfit, and danced with a rather untalented gent in a Beetlejuice outfit. She suddenly striped it off, to reveal she was wearing flesh colored plastic underwear. She began to dance around, attacking her beavage with a giant foam "hand", while grinding into "Beatlejuice". The current term for this is "Twerking" and viewers at home were up in arms. They covered their children's eyes and railed about how far down the sewer hole youth had gone.
These were the same parents who grew up in the "Swinging 70's", dancing in discos, and doing "The Bump". Same dance move, different name. Of course it wasn't obscene back then!

Pop music has always had a lameness to it, that had to be covered up by some sort of activity. This was nothing more than a continuation of that.
I didn't hear a thing about Michael Jackson constantly grabbing his crotch in videos yelling "OOOOH!"
Nor the same thing from Justin Beiber, who grabs himself as if looking for something..... Try tying a string on it Beibs!

The bottom line is that all these antics take the place of real talent. Few performers actually go onstage and show their real talent. When is the last time you heard a singer without a group of dancing people around them? Why not stand there and belt out the song?

It's like the Wizard of Oz..."Don't look behind the curtain......." No one displays their musical talent anymore, they just rely on flash, innuendo, and shock to make their names.

Perhaps they ought to call the award "The Crotchy".

In The News.......

2013-08-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

Dateline Alaska....

I stand gazing out at one of the State's proudest accomplishments: I-0, commonly known as "The Highway to Nowhere" A 213 7\8 mile 4 lane divided highway, stretching from the middle of Obscure Lake, all the way to a point in the Tundra 109 miles from the tiny settlement of Dung. The road has no interchanges, no on or off ramps, only rest areas. It was ordered, and completed, during Sarah Palin's time as Alaska's governor.

I'm here today at one of the many rest stop\shooting ranges, this one known as the "Shoot and Shit", to hear Palin launch her exploratory committee for a run for State Senator.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming out today" she shouted to the dense crowd of about 8 people and dogs. "I'm here to see if I want to run for senator of this great state!" "You remember me as your governor, and all the great things I did." "That's why I was chosen to be almost president of this country." She continued; "For example, look at this beautiful highway behind us. No cars or trucks on it to get it dirty, no oil drips from vehicles to mar it's beauty", she added. "Just 4 lanes of beautiful concrete cutting a swath through our great State." "I can imagine those Ruskies looking over here and marveling at my accomplishments, and my beautiful highway!" Just then, someone in the crowd yelled "What about Canada?" "I don't care about that state", she shot back. "That state can do anything it wants, but it can't top our Alaska!" "That's why our state's star is at the center of all the others on the flag, shining the brightest."

"And so I'm here today, to ask you to give all you can and more, to help me finance my exploratory bid for the Senate." "Exploritatin' doesn't come cheap, as that Lewis and Clarkson guys found out when they discovered the Rocky Mountains." "They had to spend a fortune on guns, and people to carry them around." "So please dig deep and give more than you can afford, so I can be your Senator and support Bristol before she gets knocked up again!"

A smattering of applause greeted her as she stepped down from the hastily built podium. Just then, a family of moose sauntered across the highway, oblivious to the goings on just beyond them. Palin whipped out her NRA mandated, conceal-carried bazooka, aimed, and fired. In an instant, the highway was littered with blood, flesh, and more blood. "Lunch is on me", she yelled, "As soon as you all clean up that mess on my road!"

Saluting American Pride!

2013-07-05T19:30:00.001-07:00

Independence day has come and gone, and as a country, we are full of pride in not only what we did in the past, but what we can do in out future. We hear patriotic boasting that we are the best country on earth, because we have all this pent-up American pride. It seems a bit silly, since we have most "American" products made in other countries.
Whatever happened to the pioneering spirit we once had? Does every business venture have to end in the principals getting wealthy, while ignoring the American people who need those jobs?

Years ago, I had gone to a local store to replace a rather singed and ratty oven mit. I found one, picked it up, and examined it. Nothing fancy, nothing more than a throw-away product. I was surprised to read the tag attached to his item. It told all about the company that made it...Right here in the USA...and the pride they took in producing it. I felt a rush of patriotism and bought two of them! This happened over 20 years ago, but these "throw-away" items are still in use today, holding up, and doing their job!
So I have to ask, "why isn't that pride, that sense of accomplishment, still prevelant in America?" The pride this company had in producing a simple item really hit me. Where is that pride today?
Jobs are scarce in this country. Most work is farmed out to countries where labor is cheap, so CEO's and others can make maximum profits. Working Americans are offered low-wage, part-time jobs instead of something they can support their family on. Is this the country our forefathers envisioned?

Yes it took something simple to bring home the idea that the American dream isn't dead yet, tho forces are at work to make sure it does indeed die.

Buy products produced right here, and support your friends and neighbors. Boycott anything that isn't sourced from the good old USA. And buy this company's products, for they are one of the few keeping the American dream alive!

"Paradise Lost"

2013-05-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a small town south of Chicago Illinois. As a post-war baby, and part of a generation that is growing older, I find myself looking back into the past for enjoyment. Many of us have social networking accounts, and have discovered long lost friends and neighbors through them. Many, if not all, have moved away from the old towns and neighborhoods, and have put down roots all across the country. But nearly everyone has paid a visit to the old haunts, and hangouts, and expressed shock at how they've changed. Some have been re-purposed, some torn down, and others left to decay. It's a common theme on the sites; "I can't believe what happened to ________!" You can pretty much fill in the blank with any place you went as a child.

Growing up post-war, we had an abundance of skilled people leaving the service ready to begin new lives. They were confident, and ready to make their mark in society. For many, returning to their hometown was the choice. Working at the family business, and someday inheriting it was a rite of passage. Locals shopped in the stores, hired local contractors for work, and kept the economy thriving. As children, we were introduced to local shopkeepers almost like they were family. They knew us by name, and often offered a small treat when we would visit. Later, those same shopkeepers would give us our first job, and teach us responsibility. Sadly, those shops are gone.

At some point in the 1950's and 1960's, Large shopping malls and strip malls came into vogue. All the stores you would ever want, grouped together for convenience! It was a real adventure going to a mall with more people than you'd see in a week at the local store! Everything packaged and on display for you to buy, and then get on your busy way. There was no small talk with the shopkeeper, no friendly greeting, just get in, buy and leave. As the malls became more prevalent, the local shops began to close up due to lack of business. They didn't have the selection, nor the prices the larger stores had. One by one, they would vanish from the landscape, and more and more people were forced into the malls to buy their items. The local grocery stores met the same fate at the hands of the large chain supermarkets. The town I grew up in, had a population of around 2000, yet had two thriving grocery stores, yet by the time I was a teenager, both were gone.

As time went by, the thought of finding a job in a small town seemed impossible, as there wasn't much left to the business district. Large chain stores would buy up land on the outskirts, and build their stores. It had to be bigger and better, and higher profits for the corporate bean-counters! With the change in business climate, came a change in the population. More families were moving from the city, to the cheaper homes in the surrounding areas. Their culture and lifestyles were a shock to the old timers, who moved away in droves. Crime followed the newcomers, and became a catalyst to make even the hardiest old timer sell out. The few hardy souls that stayed, found the value of their houses plummet as the crime rate rose, and what was once a "nice little town" become a "bad area". It took less than a generation to undo years of pride and progress!

And now the same towns devastated by the influx of malls, are finding that the malls are failing as well! I suppose it's poetic justice that the undoing of Main Street, has come full circle. It's a pity we can't bring back the way things were....when they worked, and have to rely on memories and photos of our proud past!

Pullin' the Bull Over Your Eyes

2013-04-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

We are a nation of followers, not leaders. We make our decisions by what information we are fed, and how it is presented. We sometimes declare our allegiance to an idea that would normally be opposite to our beliefs.
The reason I say this is because of the gun control debate. People are being fed information that is contrary to common sense, and they end up repeating it, and further expounding on it. Whoever made up the story that "the government is going to take your guns" must be smiling right now. The paranoid oddballs that believe this are frothing at the mouth over it. As time goes by, more and more "facts" get attached to the story. Soon, it becomes the gospel truth, and the believers, fraught with fear, buy and hoard guns and ammunition. Of course, this creates a windfall for gun shops, and gun and ammunition makers. At over $1K a pop, every assault rifle purchased makes the smile on these opportunists larger.
The manufacturers have paid the NRA to do their bidding, by forcing congress to pass laws to promote gun buying through....bull! The "Stand Your Ground laws they passed are just an example. You can shoot people that appear threatening to you, and get away with it. The only way to be safe, is for everyone to be armed, and to shoot anyone who shoots first. What a circus! What could possibly go wrong with such a plan? The death tolls from these incidents would go through the roof, with wanna-be Rambos whipping out their guns and shooting in the direction of the gunfire. How many innocent people would be hit by bullets?
Sadly, the bull machine has been working overtime on this one, but this is far from the first heap of flung dung!

Remember the Iraq "war"? How a simple lie to start an invasion, blossomed into trillions of dollars being wasted? Billions went to the companies that make the weapons, and other gear of war, with additional billions for other companies to clean up the mess we made. Remember how it started? Bin Laden took credit for the carnage that was 9\11, and fled to Pakistan. Instead of chasing him down and extracting justice, the US began a huge effort to promote the invasion of Iraq. After all, there isn't much profit in capturing a terrorist, but a good old fashioned "war" means profits aplenty! Never mind that the Bin Laden family happened to be business partners with the President's family. Never mind that the vice-President's former company would reap billions in profits by being selected to provide ground services for the troops. The manure was flying faster and faster as we geared up for an invasion. Some people questioned the rhetoric and the actions, and were promptly chastised as being Communists, or sympathizers. When France saw through this charade and said "no" to joining our invasion, we heard that they were cowards, afraid to help out the US. Remember how we were taught to have so much disdain for their "cowardice" that we no longer used the words "French Fries", instead we called them "Freedom Fries"! Freedom from what?
Tens of thousands of Iraqi men, women and children died, and thousands of our own troops were killed due to this complete and utter lie!
Now our cowardly lawmakers are pushing to have armed citizens in our schools, armed teachers, even armed custodians! Imagine sending your child to what's being run like an interment camp. "Duck and cover kids, because Mr. Jenkins is having a bad day"! The crack of gunfire as all the armed "grownups" fire back wildly, without any idea who the actual shooter is.
It's time we cut through the crap, learned the facts ourselves, without any of the pure bull we're being handed, and brought the country back to sanity.

I'm in the mood for some french fries...........!

Mouska-Tears

2013-04-08T14:36:00.001-07:00

We learned today of the death of Annette Funicello, one of our generation's favorite stars. She came to our attention through a television program called "The Mickey Mouse Club". The program was a variety show more or less, with skits, singing and dancing, and filmed shorts like "Spin and Marty" aimed at children.

I was one of those children in the 1950's who was captivated by that show. We would turn on our Philco TV, with a screen the size of a dessert plate crossed with a saucer, and patiently wait for it to warm up and display images of the show. I wasn't really knowledgeable about Disney characters back then, as Bugs Bunny and Woody Woodpecker seemed to rule the screen. Still, I was fascinated by images of a world like I could never imagine. It all seemed unreal to a young kid in the 50's! Annette was always the star of the show. It's funny how being so young, I still knew there was something special about her.
Shortly thereafter, Walt Disney had a show called "The Wonderful World of Disney", if memory serves me correctly. I still remember the show where he introduced the country to "Disneyland". It was something beyond what a kid my age could even imagine!
But then, the 1950's were a time when anything seemed possible. Even growing up poor, you had access to things that today would be beyond your reach. We were urged to"See the USA, in your Chevrolet" during commercials, and I often thought of making a trip to this new "Disneyland" place when I got older. Television seemed to provide a window to a whole new existence. The "Can-Do" American spirit pervaded every aspect of our daily lives.
For we had just recently won WWII, sent the Germans and the Japanese packing with good old American might. The back pages of magazines of the era were packed with ads for $5 surplus jeeps, or motorcycles. How I wanted a few of each, yet never managed to get such a huge sum of money!

As I got older, Annette still ruled the screen, but now it was the silver screen. Our country was still the best on earth, and the standard of living was still high. I remember still how much I wanted one of those new-fangled Honda motorbikes, because "You meet the nicest people on a Honda", not to mention prices started at $215, still a princely sum for me. Instead, I spent all my savings, a total of $7.50, on 1/2 of a 1949 Chevrolet 4-door. Pretty much all that was left of the body was metal the rust seemed to overlook. I wasn't going to see the USA in this bomb! Still, when you're 13 years old, I suppose that's right up there with winning the Lotto!

As time passed and we grew older, the tone of the entire country had changed. It was a more somber America, no longer believing in itself as the mightiest nation on earth. We were in the throes of a "police action" in the far-off country of Vietnam, and thousands of our generation were getting sent over to fight. The mood at home was anger, because this war wasn't about keeping the world safe, it was about making profits for the defense contractors. Our shiny future was being tarnished, and Annette was no longer on the silver screen!

The war finally ended, but the country still continued down the wrong path. Our small towns and small businesses were being eradicated by corporations that put profit over people. Inflation destroyed any chance of living with our paltry incomes, and we were urged to "charge it" in order to afford some overpriced "must have" item. Jobs were dwindling, and gas prices skyrocketed. We became a nation of "yes-men" who had lost the independent spirit of our youth.

Fast forward to today, where we find a country that's more divided than we were during the Civil war. We have "hate radio" shows, hateful blogs, and websites. Our news media has been replaced by propaganda sites, that many people here take as gospel. Our savings, and futures have been decimated by good old corporate greed, and the America of our youth is now only relived by viewing photos posted on the Internet.

Just thinking of the name "Annette" brought a smile and a flood of pleasant memories back each time it crossed my mind. Our youth and innocence are now gone forever, and sadly, now so is Annette herself. May she rest in peace.

© 2013 Ornery Arkie Productions

The Show Must Go On...

2013-02-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

Unless you have lived in a cave for the past hundred years or so, you have no doubt heard of Branson Missouri. Branson fancies itself as the entertainment capitol of the Midwest, a place for "family fun". For several decades, it has been just that. No casinos, strip clubs, or slot machines, just good old fashioned fun. Over the years, it has grown like a weed, with aging performers settling here and building theaters so they can perform from home. The city's coffers filled, as thousands made the trek to "The Music City" to see their favorite performers from their youth, perform once again. As time passed, not only the performers have died off and retired, but their fans as well. There are theaters standing empty, and up for sale.

A Springfield Mo. Television station did a story on Branson recently, interviewing some of the people who shape and guide what happens in the city. While it was interesting to hear the opposing views, I fear the handwriting is on the wall..."adapt or
Die!" The entertainment menu is split into two distinct categories. First and foremost, the old time variety shows, such as "The Baldknobbers", or "Presley's Country Jubilee" and the various comedy, acrobatic, and animal acts, which have been a staple since the beginning. Then there's the "Oldies" shows featuring performers from the 50's and 60's appearing each night. As the population begins to age, and tastes begin to change, these two categories become less relevant. Times are changing, but Branson isn't.

Branson has no interest in what the young people enjoy. Expensive zip-lines and go carts will not get young people to pop for plane tickets to fly out here. There is nothing aimed at a more adult audience, a more worldly audience, a younger audience. As baby boomers begin to die off, their children are left, with no idea of who the "oldies performers" are, and have no desire to pay to see them. What 30-something is going to forgo a trip to Las Vegas to fly to Branson and ride the go-carts??

A short drive south to "Dogpatch USA" offers a glimpse of what happens when an attraction doesn't change with the times. Dogpatch was modeled after Al Capp's "Little Abner" comic strip, popular from the 1930's to 1979, when Capp died. Capp licensed the name "Dogpatch" to the $35 million, 800 acre park, which opened in 1967. Once again, it was the "family fun" aspect that was marketed to the public. It was modeled after an imaginary Appalachian settlement, with old cabins brought in from around the area to give it authenticity. There were rides, and actors dressed as characters from the strip wandering the grounds. Ticket sales were great, and the park made a great profit for a little while, but fewer and fewer people read the comic strip, and bigger and better amusement parks sprung up. Disney World, and the Six Flags theme parks were far grander, and offered better rides and entertainment. Undaunted, Dogpatch ordered snow making machines, and opened a ski slope inside the park. As times and tastes changed, ticket sales declined, and by the mid 90's, the park closed for good. Resistance to change spelled the death knell for this once popular attraction.

Branson is heading down this same highway. There is no effort to embrace new genres of music, or new sources of revenue. Leaders simply turn a blind eye to the changing demographic, and press on as if things are just fine. Soon, more entertainers will take their final bow, and more aging baby boomers will die.

New sources of revenue need to be explored. A proposed NASCAR track was met with outrage due to noise and traffic concerns. A casino as well was proposed in a nearby town, and the population was nearly unanimous in their opposition. New blood is needed to revive life into the town, but just who, what kind, and how much?

The Ozarks have long been a place firmly entrenched in the Civil War. Old attitudes, fears, and hatred still smoulder here. The "God and Guns" culture is the driving force. Remember the Oklahoma City Bombing idea was born right here in the Ozarks. To this day, people are hoarding guns, and ammunition for fear of the unknown. The KKK still thrives here, and gays and Jews are still hated openly. Only change on a grand scale will destroy this mindset. Black entertainers in Branson? Absolutely not! Casinos? No way, gambling leads to all sorts of other behavior that's not acceptable!

It's time Branson took it's collective head out of the sand and entered the new century (finally) with a new vision for the future. Embrace the idea of more adult entertainment. That doesn't mean strip clubs, but something at least that's geared to more current and adult tastes. Bring in a racetrack, not a NASCAR track, but a real International F-1 track, and bring in people from all over the world, ready to spend! Make the city into a true vacation spot for people of all kinds....and colors!
The ball is in your court, Branson. The clock is ticking.............

© 2013 Ornery Arkie Productions

Every Village Needs an Idiot

2013-01-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

Years ago, it seems that everywhere you went, there was at least one person that was slightly odder than the rest of the people. Perhaps they lived like hermits, or, were obsessed with weird calamities that might befall the human race, wore tinfoil hats to protect them from mind control, and the like. They were watched with a wary eye by the general population, because who knew what they would do? Of course back then, there was no way for them to communicate with one another, so they stayed in their own little word and only bothered the local folk.

Then along came the Internet and social media, creating an instant soapbox for these cretins. Worse yet, they discovered an entire planet full of oddballs just like themselves! They shared phobias, networked, and became the force that they are today.
They seemingly have turned half the world to their type of thinking. They have posted slick videos to sites like YouTube, and have their own Television outlets. They have banded together, and found a way to convince the world that they are correct in their paranoia.
Take YouTube for example. Check out how many videos there are about the invisible "Ninja" planet Niburu there are. Or the videos showing that the government has an antenna array in Alaska, that is designed to cause another New Madrid earthquake along the Mississippi River. Then look at the views, and the comments; The idiots are gaining followers at an alarming rate! Or, check out Fox News, so called news, that is. They spew daily doses of nonsense, and people consider it gospel. They flock to hear this drivel in droves, and worse yet, they believe it, and repeat it.

Look at the United States today. We have "birthers", "truthers", and the always popular racists. They host radio shows, appear on television and defend their lunacy by convincing others they're right. Pretty soon, half the country qualifies as "Villiage Idiots".
What's worse, they now have a political party to call their own, and have been elected to Congress to dictate life for all of us. The inmates indeed, are running the asylum! Sadly, it's too late to reverse the trend. Groups like the NRA wanting armed teachers, students, and janitors in the schools sound more like a Nazi invasion than a learning experience. It seems that the paranoid have inherited the earth!
I wonder why the followers of these fruit loops never question what they hear. Why they don't think a statement through, but merely repeat what's heard, puzzles me. After all, they were perfectly normal friends and neighbors, who were swept up in the paranoia being spewed by the people they used to shun. What gives?

If we ever want to be a truly "United States", we need to go back to shunning these people. Eventually, they'll don their tinfoil hats again, and quiet down. And we must pass a National law: Only one idiot per village!

Thong-O Bongo!

2012-11-26T11:51:00.002-08:00

A "Black Friday" incident over last weekend has been on my mind since I saw it on the news this morning. It seems that shoppers lining up outside a mall in California never knew what lie ahead. When the mall doors opened, and the crowd rushed in, a number of them headed for Victoria's Secret. As the throng descended, two women began to fight over the underwear. No, not underwear models, but regular women! As the situation escalated, several men began to also fight over the underwear! Fists were flying as they tried to defend their favorite thongs, and frilly things. Luckily, this whole episode was caught on camera for those of us who were neither boxing, nor shopping at the mall.
This is disturbing on many levels, and the fact that none of the underwear was on a Black Friday deep discount makes it even worse. It took the staff quite a while to clean up the store after the fights, but better yet, I'm thinking the perps had to spend some quality time in jail, waiting for someone to throw their bail. Imagine one of these tough guys sitting next to a serial killer, and confessing the fact that he's in for fighting over ladies underwear! Can you say "Squeal like a pig?" They will walk funny for months to come!

Centuries ago, the ancient Mayans (allegedly) predicted the end of the world. Conveniently, it's supposed to happen this December (why wait?). With sub-human behavior like that which happened over the weekend, the prediction seems spot-on.

The Mayans, though great builders and thinkers, were a barbaric people, They believed in human sacrifice to please their Gods. Young virgin women would be rounded up, and thrown into volcanos, fires or other ideas that the "gods" thought up. This is where the two stories seem to intertwine.

A smart Mayan virgin decided she wasn't going to be the sacrifice De jour. She thought that if she could tart herself up, the powers that be would think her not virginal and leave her alone. She promptly made a trip to the Mall of the Ancients, and purchased some frilly underthings. To make sure this would work, she wore them exclusively, as she paraded around the city. Sure enough, the leaders passed her up for the great honor of being a sacrifice victim! She was spared, and passed this important tip on to all her friends. Soon the Mayan leaders found that they had run out of victims. Not to be deterred, they invented the Mayan calendar, and for each month, had a different scantily-clad model at the top of the page, much like our car-parts store calendars do today!
When they ran out of models, they decided that the world would end, and sadly, they never existed long enough to see if they were right.

While thankfully, we still have Victoria's Secret models to show how advanced we supposedly are, we also have those buffoons that were fighting, along with the rest of the knuckleheads.

It's sad to see civilization in such a state of decay like that.
Perhaps it's time to bring back those sacrifices.....

And they called the wind...Sharia

2012-11-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

Another election is under our belts, and while the good guy won, the losers (literally), are not going to take this sitting down.
There are movements afoot by some, to secede from the US, simply because the "Black Guy" won!
Obviously, something is wrong here. The Right Wing has been inundated with outright lies in order to strike fear in their hearts, and thus obtain their vote.

It takes place in carefully crafted keywords, meant to confuse and frighten those that believe them. Words like "Socialist", "Muslim", 'New World Order", and better yet, questions about the President's birthplace, have abounded.
We hear these insane rants on a daily basis, in order to keep the fear burning in those infected. After all, how can a Black Man be President? What happened??
It's the Right-Wing nutcases that promote this fear, and the fact that their chosen warrior got his ass whupped, doesn't help! The keywords intended to strike fear in the slower people, didn't seem to make a difference. That being said, a new weapon against thinking folks has been trotted out: Sharia Law.
It's linked to the Muslim faith, and it's considered a "Mooslum Law" here.

Heaven forbid that another religion, attempt to take over the U. S. (where out constitution provides freedom from religion!)
No, the fear mongers push the theory that the non-
Christards, want to take over our country, and force us to believe their way. Sound familiar? All the Christard preachers, followers, and generally stupid population believe this is true. They fear that Sharia law will supersede the laws that we founded the nation on. Oddly enough, the biblical laws are, in fact, Sharia law!

Yes, it means religious law, and what ever imaginary person you believe in, are the laws that should govern the nation! To think that there are so many states here, that have passed laws against "Sharia Law" is appalling. After all, the idea that "Thou shall not kill", or "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife", and "Thou shall not steal", are all Sharia law.

What is really sad is that people believe that our rights are being eroded. The people spending billions to rig the election have set a course to control the minds of the people that can't seem to think for themselves. Yes, the people in the tin-foil hats, are controlled completely by those that would use them to keep power.
When one looks at the beliefs being downloaded into their empty craniums, it's downright frighting!

There is no secret, invisible planet, hiding near Jupiter, waiting to wipe out life on Earth. Global warming is real, and the only way we can stop it is to cut pollution and fossil fuel usage. Nor is the UN going to take over our country and force a "New World Order" upon us!
All because people that have wealth beyond imagination, didn't get their way!
Sad, isn't it? We send one scam artist to prison for scamming the wealthy, but attempt to elect one 10 times worse to be President. The difference? Cheating the wealthy is bad, cheating regular folks is just fine.

As long as there are AM radio talk shows, and Fox News, there will be a stream of propaganda aimed at the non-thinking people. Back in WWII, there was "Axis Annie", or "Tokyo Rose". Now we have Rush, Sean, Ann, and Sarah. All want to have the nation knuckle under to their sick way of thinking.

Will we??
Any Deity, from Thor, to Allah, to God, and even the Flying Spaghetti Monster, has no desire to rule our pathetic planet. A "Supreme Being" would have faith in our ability to think our way out of the mess we've gotten ourselves in. People before profit would be the rule, and humankind would evolve into a more sympathetic, intelligent form of life.

Of course, don't tell this to the Republicans!

The tie that Binders...

2012-10-19T20:12:00.001-07:00

Our President debated his challenger the other night, and it jarred me into finally getting off my ass and blogging again. The challenger, Willard "Mitt" Romney is a very wealthy man, who has made his millions as a venture capitalist. I know some of you are wondering just what this means. If you think of the others in history, people like Blackbeard, or Jack Sparrow, perhaps you'll get an idea!
Unlike Robin Hood, a Venture Capitalist takes from everyone....and keeps it!
The candidates sparred back and forth over the economy, jobs, and war. At one point in the debate though, Willard mentioned that he had "binders full of women". Of course, thinking men and women all over the country, jumped on this for what it was; a display of his lack of knowledge about anything in mainstream America.
Romney has led a charmed life. He has gone to the best private schools, and was given the chance to be governor of Massachusetts and run it into the ground. In his way of thinking, that makes him a perfect candidate. He has no inkling of what life beyond his ivory tower was like.

Romney has several mansions around the country, garages with elevators in them, and a dancing horse which he claims as a $77K tax credit. The rest of his millions are hidden behind dummy corporations offshore.

You may ask yourself, "where is this rant going?" Well, the "binders full of women" remark frames the whole Romney experience. You don't hire a woman because she is the best person for the job; you put here in a "binder" with others, to show you might have considered her at some point in time. It's nice to wave a fist full of applications around, rather than have to hire them, much less pay them equally.

His disdain for the working men and women in this country stems from his Bain days. He would buy up companies, fire the workers one day, and hire them back at lower wages and benefits the next. Later, he would strip the company of everything of value, and pocket enormous profits, while it was left to wither and die. His policies, and past performance show he is not interested in jobs, at least not here in the US. All that is important is that he makes money. His campaign focuses on saying what the party, not people, want to hear. No consideration is given to the workers, much less the women who will be affected.

"Women in binders" is a way to show he cares, at least in his mind. While you may not be good enough to be included in the "good old white boys club" and get the pay that you deserve, you're in a "binder" so the public can see that you were "considered".

Romney is completely out of touch with what the rest of us have to deal with. We have no servants to cook for us, clean for us, nor do all the mundane things that we must do every day. While he flails at trying to look like he understands the average person, he can only identify with the wealthy.

We, as a nation, are better than this. We all deserve the same respect we're expected to give our wealthy masters.
My question is: Are they worthy?

Bak 2 Skool!

2012-07-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

I was watching the news the other day, and was shocked to see what it costs to send a child to school these days. On average, a grade school student requires $474 per year, a middle school student will need $545 in supplies, and a high school student will cost you $1,000! This is just to go to a school that you pay state and local taxes to attend! I have to admit, we couldn't afford to send our two children to school these days! How did this get to be so expensive? I'm still amazed that class trips end up going to foreign countries for a week or more, and parents have the money to pay for their child to go along. Is it that they can afford it, or do they do this on credit, paying it back over time?

Life was different when I was growing up. There was no list of items that the school system demanded you have. We would take a family trip to the Ben Franklin 5 & and 10 to buy our one folder for 10 cents, a pad of notebook paper, a notebook (if we ruined the one we had the year before), a box of 12 crayons, pencils, an eraser, and a fountain pen. That was it! We would get 1 pair of tennis shoes (the "high tops" were more expensive, so we didn't get them), and perhaps a couple of pairs of pants. All other clothes were home made, or hand-me-downs, often times from neighbors and relatives. We walked to school, and home for lunch, no matter what the weather was, no buses, nor "Mom Taxis". Kindergarten was a private school, that cost more than we could afford so we went right to First Grade.
By about 5th grade, the school decided to start a band. While we were dieing to join and learn to play music, it was just too expensive, a ridiculous cost of $4 a week!

Still, we didn't feel underprivileged in any way. While we were poorer than most of our classmates, we didn't really feel left out. It wasn't until High School that we began to feel excluded. Our school was in a different town, populated by many more affluent families, as well as the surrounding towns. I remember just how out of place I felt on my first day of school! Most of my classmates had lived in the city, and seen things I had never even imagined existed. They wore new expensive clothes, while I wore hand-me-downs, some kids even had a transistor radio! Such things were clearly out of our reach!

However, we got an education, and prepared for life as an adult. We learned the value of hard work to reach our goals, and how to behave in a public environment. The school, and our parent's tax dollars, paid for most, if not all, of the required classroom supplies.

So what has happened to education? What on earth would cost a thousand dollar out of pocket expense to attend a public high school? Has the world gone crazy? And what of the parents who can't afford this cost? Will children be banned from the school because their parents can't afford a new laptop computer each year? Thankfully, there are groups to help the less than fortunate families to get supplies.
Still, one has to question the cost of the whole thing. It seems to be all about the money, as always. A school is an economic engine, not a place of education!

Shop 'till you drop, and charge it if you don't have the cash. And no, we will not teach your child to write in cursive!

Sad, isn't it?

©2012 Ornery Arkie Productions. All rights reserved

Mittbery

2012-07-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

This past week, we learned of the passing of one of our generation's icons: Andy Griffith.    Griffith was best known for his television series depicting life in a rural Southern town called Mayberry. Andy played the sheriff of the town, who had to dispense not only justice, but infuse the townsfolk with his wisdom.
The town was inhabited by dozens of quirky characters, who all, at some point, benefited from Griffith's common sense and understanding.
Since his death came during an election year, and since some of the dumbest things I've ever seen are going on in politics, I wonder what would happen if those two far apart worlds were suddenly thrown together.....

Rod Serling introduces tonight's episode, where the present meets the past.....

Cue the theme song!
The show opens with Deputy Barney Fife chasing down a limousine on a dusty country road. Light flashing, and siren blaring, Fife pulls behind the offender, who finally slows to a stop.

Fife:    "Step out of the car, feller!" "Right now!"
Mitt Romney exits the limo with his hands in the air. He is dressed in an expensive suit, with a gold watch on his wrist.

Mitt:    "Is there a problem deputy?"

Fife:    "You're darned right there's a problem!"

Fife:    "You were doing twice the speed limit back there!"

Mitt:    "Well I'm very sorry officer, I was on my way to Washington DC. I'm running for president, you know."

Fife:    "Really? Well then I'm Cleopatra!! Get in the back of the squad car!"

The scene fades with the patrol car driving off in a cloud of dust.
Now the camera pans Mayberry's main street, stopping in front of the jail. The squad car slides to a stop, lights and siren still going. Fife bursts into the office surprising Andy, who is doing paperwork at his desk.

Fife:    "We've got us a law breakin' speeder, Anj!"
Andy looks up to see Mitt in handcuffs standing before him, with Barney eying him suspiciously.

Andy:    "Well I dooo declare, what have we got here, Barn?"

Fife:    "He says he's a runnin' for President, Anj, and he's headed for Washington!"

Andy:    "Well 'scuse me mister, but with that suit on, you look more like you're fixin' to run for undertaker!"

The courtroom door bursts open, and Andy's son Opie enters.

Opie:    "Paw, who ya got there?"

Andy: "His name's Mitt, son."

Opie:    "You mean like a catcher's mitt, or a first baseman's mitt? I reckin he could have been named after some other sport. Heck, paw, he could have been called "Hockey Puck"!

Andy:    "No son, that was the last president!"

Andy:    "Put him in the cell with Otis, Barn, until I can sort this all out."

Barney takes the handcuffs off Romney, and locks him in the cell with the town drunk, Otis Campbell.

Otis:    "Am I dead? Andy, help me, the undertaker's here!!!"

Andy:    "Naw, you ain't dead Otis, this here's Mr. Romney, and he's fixin' to run for presi-dent!"

Otis:    "What happened to Eisenhower?"

Mitt:    "You know sheriff, you have a 4 cell jail with only one cell utilized. It's a waste of resources! If I were you, I'd hire a corporation to come in and run things!" "They would pay you money for the prisoners they housed. All you would have to do is just arrest a certain number of offenders per week in order to get paid."

Andy:    "What, I have to arrest innocent people?"

Mitt:    "It's all business, sheriff. As long as the corporation makes money, everyone benefits." "Besides, corporations are people!"

The door opens, and in walks Aunt Bea with a freshly baked cherry pie.

Bea: "Oh dear; Andy, there's an undertaker in the cell with Otis.   Is Otis dead??"

Andy:    "Naw Ain't Bea, this here's Mr. Mitt, and he's telling me how to make money off our prisoners." "He says we need to have more!"

Bea:    "But Andy, you only have Otis as a regular prisoner, where would you get the rest?"

Andy looks at the empty jail cells, and then at Aunt Bea............

Andy:    "Well Ain't Bea, I might have to book you in to keep up our revi-new!"

Aunt Bea drops the pie, and runs out of the courthouse.

Andy:    "Well Mr. Mitt, you have shore upset Ain't Bea with your idea! Is that what you're fixin to do if you get to be presi-dent?" "You know, if corporations are people, serial killers are people too. I wouldn't want to live near nether one!"

Mitt:    "It's good for business, good for the economy, and good for the corporation, sheriff. If a company took over, you could even retire..... without pay, of course." "The company would patrol the streets, arresting offenders, and trumping up charges if need be. As long as the jail is full, the company would make a profit."

Andy:    "Well, If I don't get paid to retire, than what becomes of me?" "I'll be penniless!"

Mitt looks over at the empty cells smirking...

Mitt:    "Well sheriff...."

Andy:    "No suh! I'm the sheriff, not some vagrant!" "You sure don't know what life is like here. We' sure don't need no corporation running things! We're happy just as we are!" "Let me finish your paperwork, and Barney will take you to the edge of town and drop you off. I don't want to see you, or you cor-po-ration anywhere near these parts!"

Mitt pays his fine, and Barney loads him back into the squad car. The squad pulls away from the courthouse with tires squealing.

Opie:    "That man sure is strange, paw! I reckon if he gets to be president, we're all gonna be in trouble!" "I sure don't want to be some corporation!"

Andy:    "Don't worry son, I told Barney to drop him off at the edge of town. I just didn't say which town!"

The scene fades out, while a far off shot of the Mayberry squad car fades in. It's snowing heavily as Barney opens the rear door.

Barney:    "Well here you go, Mr. corporation, welcome to Timbuktu. Now get out and get lost!"

The show ends with Mitt standing in a snow drift trying to get a signal on his cell phone, while Andy, Barney, Aunt Bea, and Opie share that Cherry pie with Otis.

Andy:    "I sure hope them corporate raiders never take over America! What a mess we would be in if they did!"

Otis:    "I'll drink to that!"

Fade out......

R. I. P. Andy Griffith, we will sure miss you!

© 2012 Ornery Arkie Productions All rights reserved

Tie....DIE!!

2012-06-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

As we get older, we find less that we're willing to tolerate. The fact that we've lived a long life, means we've seen things, or been subjected to things, that the younger set hasn't. We spent our whole lives with a number of pet-peeves, and they tend to increase by the day. Of course, the ones that we started with, remain with us.

My biggest piss-off is ties. The simple fact that knotting a rag around one's neck is thought to make them a professional is just plain crazy. I realize, that in the 1800's, men wore cravats (ties) as part of their every day dress. It was more of a fashion requirement, than a fashion statement. As time progressed, the tie became part of "business attire". How silly! Wearing a tie, didn't make you a better worker, a more intelligent being, nor more honest. It simply meant that you had "knuckled under" and towed the company line.

As time rolled on, the suit and tie became part of our culture. In the 1970's we had suits so huge, that a person could walk across a room, and the suit would still stay there he started. What a great advertisement for a business! "Buy from us...I'm wearing a suit and tie!" Looking back, the whole thing seems rather stupid..

By the 1980's, a tie was a regular item of business attire. It was thought that a tie made one look "Professional", sort of like fishnets make a hooker look like a pro.

The slimy, greaseballs who tried to sell you things, always wore ties. A white shirt and tie meant that a person was an honest businessman, who would never cheat you. After all, he was wearing a TIE!

Women, never had to suffer this scourge. They had a more generous choice of clothing, but on the other hand, they failed to receive the pay men did. I suppose it was their punishment for not towing the line...

Fast forward to today! We now have "Power Ties" for the elitists. Can one charge one's cell phone off a power tie? Nope, didn't think so!
The idea that now, some sweaty greaseball holds you as a hostage, controlled by your collar and tie, much like a collar and leash, is appalling. We the people deserve better. We are not slaves, we are not subject to our bosses whims. A tie does not make a person any more honest, nor any more productive. A shirt and tie are worn to impress a customer, while the wearer cleans out your bank account.

I would rather deal with a person in a T-Shirt and Jeans, than a slick guy wearing a shirt and tie. Business attire is like a mask, where perpetrators can hide behind. If a person wears what they want, it's easier to see what that person is all about.

Casual dress, brings out the real person. There's no pretense, no phony persona, just the person behind the clothing.

Why isn't there a revolt among the worker bees? Stand up and renounce your corporate allegiance! I guess that that collar and leash are a bit too tight, and if you don't perform.........

Senior Class

2012-05-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Many long years ago, I was a Senior in High School. The term "Senior" meant that you had reached the point where you were ready to go off into the world, and make your mark, leave your legacy, or at least get a job and subsist. You were considered special, someone to be looked up to by the underclassmen. A Senior had successfully navigated the high school curriculum. You had Senior Proms, Senior cut days, and other perks, because you earned them. You only had a one year stint as a Senior, unless you couldn't get enough credits to graduate. After graduation, you either went on to college, or entered the work force.

Life passed, and many of us raised our own Seniors, and watched with pride as they too, entered adulthood. As a parent, one could again relive those years long ago.
Sadly, there's a second time in life one turns a Senior. There's no bragging rights in this version.   After the age of 50, you are eligible to join the AARP, an organization for Seniors. Instead of proms, and bragging rights, there's pity.
You are a burden if you're still working, blocking the younger set from advancement, by still being on the job. In many jobs, the senior man receives higher pay than the newer employees, as pay scales tend to go down these days. Your wisdom, and clear thinking are a threat to those new folks in the workforce. They want you retired, so they can get your job!

Quite a Senior perk, isn't it? As you age even more, you are looked upon as an entity to be exploited, not exulted. There are a myriad of "Senior friendly" products marketed towards you. The general idea is that somehow, after making your mark on society, you used up all your intelligence, and have now become a doddering old fool. You need a special cell phone, because the one's the young folks have are just too complicated for your rusty old brain. Or there are super simple computers offered to Seniors, which don't require any knowledge to operate. "Keep it simple, and charge more, because they're old and don't know any better!"
The idea that you were smart enough to hang on to your money through life is the basis for this.
Aging makes you a prime target for the health care industry as well. One trip to the doctor after age 55 or so, will result in an endless list of tests, pills, and more doctor visits. You become a cash cow for the medical profession, all in the name of keeping you alive for a few more years, so they can take more money from you. Even Medicare can't keep them from your savings, as they prescribe things that aren't covered. MRI's, CAT scans, power chairs, and those $20,000 bathtubs with the doors in the side, are all either offered, or prescribed. Your "Golden Years" have made you the goose that laid the golden egg!
Scammers too appreciate you. You are the target of various cons to give up money, or personal information. There have been may seniors who have lost thousands of dollars due to these vermin preying on the elderly.

Retirement, if you can still do it, is no longer fun in the sun, it's fretting over paying for your sub-standard life style. Social Security payments barely cover the cost of living, and you are fearful every day that the legislative asswads in Washington, will take that away too!

There isn't much we can do about this sad state of affairs, except to not accept it. Why must we follow along like sheep? Let's get out there and act up like we did when we were young. Let's show the vultures that we ain't done yet, that we still have a fire burning inside us! The ultimate graduation for folks our age ain't a pretty one, so let's not go too soon. If you are told you are too old to do something, DO IT! If you are told not to eat or drink something, do it anyway.   Stand up for yourselves as the Senior Class should do, for there still is one last person after your money when you go; The undertaker.

Make him wait!

Laying Down the Law!

2012-04-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

With all the excesses in today's world, nothing is more blatant than our laws. We have thousands of laws, and there are millions of words spent defining them. What ever happened to a simple "NO, don't do that"? Imagine if our parents had to read us our rights before they gave us a spanking for breaking the neighbor's window. On the other hand, suppose we children could have gotten legal council before the the first smack of the belt? Our parents would have been so tied up in cases, we'd be in our 30's before our parents could have punished us. Do laws have to be written so complicated that there are gray areas?
I suppose it's how lawyers make their money. If you charge by the hour, getting through all the documents and precedents before even going before a judge will earn you a ton of cash.

Why does our system have to be like that? Can't we just say "NO" and be done with it? You wouldn't need a lawyer at all. If caught doing something wrong, you go before a judge immediately, and get the prescribed punishment. Simple, isn't it?

Another thing that confuses me is how a person can plead "not guilty" when caught red-handed while breaking the law. How can you be not guilty when you did it? Take your punishment, and let's get to the next case! And better yet, how can a person plead not guilty because of insanity? Do only sane people commit crimes? Lawyer: "My client is not guilty because he's nuckin' futs." Judge: "OK you're free, crazy, but free." Lovely, isn't it?
It's time we change the laws, simplify them, even for the simple minded. No means no, don't means do not. Defy this and your in trouble! We would simplify the legal system, speed up justice, and save millions of dollars a year!

And another thing; let's drop all this liability crap! If you buy a pencil and poke your eye out, you can sue the maker because there wasn't a warning label on it saying "Don't poke yourself in the eye, dummy". This is beyond stupid. If people can't be trusted, misuse products, or fail to see the obvious, then they shouldn't be able to sue over it. It becomes a cash cow for the lawyers, as they get a piece of the action, as well as the litigants. I know one person, who used to brag about new cars, or fun vacations, made possible by suing someone. Is this right? I would hate to think the world is this corrupt, but I know better.

Some day, someone will finally say "enough is enough", and make some changes to simplify things, and immediately be sued because there wasn't a Spanish translation. Face it, we're all screwed!

Here's to Tragedy!

2012-04-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

The 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic is upon us. She sailed from Southampton England en route to the United States, carrying 2,224 passengers on her maiden voyage. Obviously her owners, the White Star Line, didn't know that "RMS" stood for "really might sink"!
On the night of April 15, 1912, she sailed into history by striking an iceberg, tearing a hole in her hull, and sinking. This opulent testimony to human engineering took with her over 1000 passengers on her trip to the bottom, with only 710 people surviving this tragedy.
At the time, this was thought to be the greatest disaster known to man.
So why are we celebrating it?
We have traveling Titanic exhibits, Titanic museums, and the whole gruesome wreck has been made into a movie, and in turn, that movie has been made into a 3-D movie! This terrible loss of human life is being commemorated as a wonderful celebration, and the frenzy is building as we reach the day of the disaster.
Are humans really that jaded? Must we merchandise the tragedy? There are Titanic tours, Titanic museums, Titanic dinnerware sets, DVD's, and even copies of things in the movie. Tragedy sells!

As a service to all the investors out there, I have come up with some new disasters they might want to market, and exploit!

"The Love Canal Experience" would be the first one. A theme park could be built, and guests could learn of the sickness suffered by the residents of the town due to the dumping of toxins by the Hooker Chemical Company. Guests could enjoy toxic Slurpees, while they watch their skin develop strange sores, and later, walk through the re-created abandoned town.

"Chernobyl Revisited" would be a fun trip through a nuclear disaster, where guests wear glow-stick vests, allowing them to glow in the dark, just like the Russian victims! Later, they visit a petting zoo, where actual wildlife that survived the disaster, are there to be admired. Those three headed cats are soo cute!

"Pop Goes the Challenger" would be a theme-park comemmorating the Challenger disaster.
Guests would strap into a re-creation of the space shuttle, and then get blown to bits (via green screen) and rain down on Texas! What fun!

I've saved the best disaster for last:
"Eight Years of George Bush" would be a theme park where only people with a low enough IQ would be allowed to actually enter. Other guests would watch through one way glass at the fun going on within! Then everyone gets to watch the economy sour, and help make the decision to invade the wrong country. Guests could actually re-create some of the war crimes that Bush was famous for, and order airstrikes on the not-so-intellegent below. Then, as a finale, everyone could watch their savings, retirement, hopes, and dreams, get trashed by the Wall Street debacle!
Folks, this one's a winner! Price the tickets below $20, and the world will beat a path to our door! I just hope we have a country left, when the 100 year anniversary rolls around!

Trumped up!

2012-04-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

The world is full of miscreants, thieves and other less than savory types. We have been told since early childhood, that we must work hard to be successful. Lately, Donald Trump, "The Donald" has been held up to us as an "ideal". Yes he appears to have a ton of money, and attracts the beautiful people, despite that weird hair, but is he really what he seems?

It is amazing how many people declare bankruptcy these days. It's an easy process where you can hire a lawyer, go before a judge, and get out of whatever debt you have racked up. Isn't that convenient? You can do what ever you want and never face the consequences. It's soooo easy! Trump's companies have declared bankruptcy 4 times, according to records. As a man who makes huge deals, I must wonder just how much he stiffed his creditors. Is this a role model for the rest of us? Has honesty been replaced by profits at all costs?

I remember being taught that if you want something, you have to save for it in order to get it. There was no instant gratification involved. You had to wait until you had the funds. As time passed, the world became a credit-oriented society, and you bought today, and paid tomorrow. That was still fine, as long as you settled your debts. The new way of doing things is doing nothing. Run up a mountain of bills, ignore them, and then be forgiven them by the court. Then, you can start over again! Isn't this thievery? It's almost like you are immune to paying things back, and pity the people you owe!

"I owe, I owe, so off to work I go" no longer takes precedence. Live the good life and don't pay, and you can keep it up as long as you can afford a lawyer. Oddly enough, you must pay the lawyer, before he helps you to stiff the other creditors!

This is just plain robbery! If you can't afford things, don't buy them. If you run up credit card bills beyond what you earn, then stop buying until you get them paid off. Put yourself in the shoes of those you owe. Could you survive as a business, if people kept finding a way to avoid paying you?
No, "The Donald" sure isn't a role model, he's more of a bad example. When we shirk our responsibilities as consumers, and use the law to get out of them, it makes us no better than common thieves. Only "The Donald" and his bad comb over can get away with that!

"Remember me to Harold Square, whoever he is!"

2012-03-28T08:42:00.002-07:00

Getting older is neither easy nor pretty. The graying hair, wrinkles, and aches and pains in general are pretty demanding. But the worst thing about getting older is becoming forgetful.

It doesn't come on quickly, but rather sneaks up when you least expect it. You may set something down, walk away for a second, and discover that you have no idea where you put it! Sure, it happens to all of us from time to time, but as we age, it becomes imperative that we don't begin to look like doddering fools.
Perhaps it's just that we don't feel the need to pay attention any longer. after all, we've participated in life for decades, and now it's nice to sit on the sidelines once in a while.

There are countless remedies on the market for "memory loss", and people are making millions selling them. But is it really memory loss? Suppose you can remember back to things that happened in grade school, so clearly that even the feel of the sun on your skin, and the gentle breeze that was present are in that memory? Suppose you can remember a poem, or the words to a song from 50 years ago; is your mind gone?

The mind is a strange critter. Sometimes the stupidest things just stick in it, while things that you once considered important, are quickly forgotten. I can name the original members of Kiss (Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and Peter Criss), but I can't tell you where I left my phone. (I just checked, it's on the front seat of my truck)
I think as we age, small things just don't matter any longer. When we were younger, and involved in work, and raising a family, our minds had to be focused every minute of the day. Now, not so much.
It's not Alzheimer's, but a long awaited case of "I just don't give a shits". We're not old, we're just maturing. If you got this far without losing your place, and having to start over, congratulations!
If you accidentally forget that you let the dog outside, and he wakes you up barking at 2AM, it's nothing to worry about. If you forget to wear pants to the grocery, you'll figure it out when you reach for your wallet.
We're not getting older, we're getting better!

Now where did I put that damn phone again??

I want my America back!

2012-03-04T08:21:00.001-08:00

Recently, I received a copy of a 1957 magazine called "Science and Mechanics" When I was young, I used to marvel at not only the content, but the ads in these sorts of magazines as well. Offers for WWII surplus items, like motorcycles for $5, or Jeeps for $10 always got my attention. My dream life as an adult was to live in a "California Style" home, with a surplus P-38 Lightning fighter parked in the driveway! Back in the 1950's, everything seemed possible.

Thumbing through the magazine reinforced that idea. The prototype of a tape recorder that would capture images and sound was featured. "This could be a reality someday soon", the magazine claimed. "Write now for information on the King Midget, drive it for 75 cents a week!" Courses were offered for home-study classes in auto repair, air conditioning service, radio and TV repair, and of all things, meat cutting. There seemed to be no limit to the ways a person could make extra money from home. There were countless ads looking for inventors, and ads for patent attorneys, and inventions needed. America was full of ideas and promise back then!
On the back cover, was a full page ad for a new rubber stamp business that "Pays beginners up to $9.20 an hour" That was fabulous money back then, and all a person would have to do is invest in a machine, and read the "Warner Plan", and go on to success!

As a child, I wondered if anyone actually tried these things. I found out a bit later on in life. I got a job with the Post Office Department, in South Holland Illinois. It was a different world back then, where management and the employees used to work together towards a common goal, namely getting the mail delivered, and sent out by the end of the day. One day I was sent a couple of blocks away to pick up a couple of rubber stamps that the Postmaster had ordered made. The address was that of a home, where a man did, indeed, "Make rubber stamps in his spare time"! The Post Office was a prime customer for "Don's Rubber Stamps", as he called his business. He made nearly all the myriad of stamps we used back then. He had built up a pretty good clientele, just working from his home, in his spare time. He had become an integral part of the business community, simply because he had answered an ad on the back of a magazine!

Time passed, and so did Don. His wife tried to keep the business going, but the old clients were dying off, and the new ones sent away for their stamps. Local business had been deposed by the office store chains, mega-marts and the like.
Simple, friendly service was replaced by indifference and poor service.

Where has our America gone? There is no more clamor for inventions, there isn't much tinkering anymore, as there's just not any free time for most folks. There are still people who love to tinker, but the days of learning at home are fast disappearing.

It's sad, really. We were once a nation full of ideas, and a willingness to work hard and improve our lives. Our jobs gave us the opportunity not only to spend time with our families, but to learn new things, and possibly, launch new careers. We all had the chance for a better life back in the '50's.

It would be nice to revisit those days, and feel the awe when we see a new invention, a new idea, or a futuristic concept car. We were the most productive nation on Earth, the people everyone else envied! What happened? Was it that not enough people took the meat cutting class, or didn't learn to make rubber stamps at home? Or was it the ones that did, got greedy, and crushed the competition? Our corporations control everything, and have the money and power to buy (or ruin) anyone who stands in their way. Our former craftsmen sit in cubicles, toiling away at dreary tasks, face a long commute home, and scarcely have time for their family.

This sure isn't the future promised us back in 1957. But just in case things turn around and get better, I'm sending in for the Charles Atlas course on page 14. You never know when you'll have to kick some corporate ass!

The Final Countdown

2012-02-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

We humans are a pretty gullible bunch of people. We tend to believe myths, stories, and legends like they were real. Lately, the world has been inundated by prophesies that the world will be ending in December of this year. From killer comets, to old JC himself making a return visit, the airwaves are abuzz with talk of the end if the world.

Some time back, explorers stumbled across an ancient Mayan stone carving. They somehow decided it was a calendar, and followed its carvings to a date this December. After that, there is nothing else. I have to wonder just how a people who couldn't sustain their own existence, could plan that far into the future. After all, there sure aren't any Mayans hanging around to ask. Yet people believe this, to a point. While there isn't a rush to buy expensive items and not pay for them yet, people tend to put some faith in this theory. In 2011, we had a California preacher who literally predicted the exact date and time the world would end. His followers sold, or gave away all their earthly possessions and traveled the country promoting this idea. Of course, it failed to happen, and the so called apostles of this nut had to go out and find jobs and start over. Then the good preacher made up another date and time, which also didn't pan out.
All the non-Mayan theories revolve around the idea that the lord will return to earth, and kick the crap out of it Where the heck he's been for over 2000 years never gets mentioned. Was he on Mars, or Uranus?

First off, why in the hell would he come back after what happened to him the first time he was allegedly here. The story of his death was not a pretty one, given all the good deeds he did for people back then. It was truly a case of them biting the hand of the one that fed them!

With all the Christian hate spewing believers out there this election year, the second coming has been overshadowed. They continue to bash President Obama every chance they get, while spouting the 10 suggestions, and holding their guns closer than their bibles. Obviously, hypocrisy is paramount to their so called "faith".

But what if; what if JC was actually here, and living in the US? What if people around the world saw him on TV, and the internet, and didn't realize just who they were seeing?

Let's do a scientific study:

JC was bound and determined to help the sick and feed the hungry.
Check.
JC had compassion for those that were different than him.
Check.
JC didn't have much use for wealthy bankers.
Check.
JC was not a Caucasian guy with a beard and long hair, he was more likely of Arabic, or African descent.
Check.

Comparing the facts from then and now, we must conclude that if the lord is here, then he must be President Obama!
After all, isn't a national healthcare plan the "Christian" thing to do? Aren't programs aimed at helping the poor and feeding the children much like what went on 2000 years ago?

Just to be on the safe side, I'm voting for President Obama for a second term. While he's not 5' 9", (he's actually 6' 1" ) we'll be given at least another four years on earth if he wins, and perhaps more if we help him get things done. Not to mention, we can laugh at the Mayans and evangelicals some more, and as we all know, laughter is good for us!

War's a'coming...

2012-02-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

I have been watching with pleasure, the latest battle between Chevrolet and Ford over just which company has the best, most reliable trucks. This "war" has been going on since I was young, and shows no signs of stopping any time soon. My earliest childhood memories were about which brand was the best. In grade school, we sang the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" with the words: "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord, he is driving down the mountain in a '57 Ford". We held those truths to be self-evident. Of course most of us also believed that the initials FORD meant "Found on Road Dead", or "Fix or Repair Daily". The banter back and forth was good for numerous conversations over the years. Then one day the song "American Pie" burst into our lives. The most blatant line was "I Drove my Chevy to the Levee". Not, "I drove my Ford to the Fjord"! It appeared that Chevrolet was fast becoming the symbol of America. Ford was just another brand , while we sang about "Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, and Chevrolet". The flag was flying, and the colors were Chevy red, white and blue!

Of course, the battle never ended, and both sides would go on to boast about who had the most registered trucks on the road, or whose trucks were still running after years of use. It appeared to be a semi-friendly battle up until Ford's VP of marketing, Jim Farley, uttered the now-famous words "F*ck GM! I hate those guys, I hate what they stand for." Not exactly kind words for a competitor. Those comments were swept under the rug, and things went on as normal until Chevrolet introduced it's Super Bowl commercial this year. The ad shows a post-apocalyptic view of an American city. A fluttering newspaper's headline proclaims "Mayan 2012 Apocalypse", and the scene is of utter destruction. And then, the camera pans to a pile of rubble, an engine starts, and a Chevrolet truck drives out. A man and his dog are seemingly unhurt, as they make their way through the devastation. Finally, they reach an area where there are more Chevrolet trucks gathered. The driver gets out, and asks "Where's Dave?" A man replies that Dave didn't drive the most dependable, longest lasting truck, "He drove a Ford"! The commercial ends with the line: "From the start of your day, to the end of the world, Chevy runs deep!"

Ford's lawyers blew a gasket over this one! They sent cease and desist letters to not only General Motors, but also to NBC who broadcast the show. Ford was mad as hell!

So now we must wait for Ford's response to this jab. What will they do to counter punch? Will they make their claims even nastier? All I know is that a little competition makes life interesting, and products better. I can't wait for Ford's next salvo, and Chevy's after that!

I suppose it would be unfair to choose sides, but then I did drive my Chevy to the levee, and all over hell's half acre to boot, and it's still running strong. How about that, Ford?

Reach For It!

2012-02-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been noticing a lot of comments on social networking sites by people who are gun owners. They trumpet all the things that their state's concealed carry laws would allow them to do, if the need arose. The really odd thing is that they speak of their guns as if they were a spouse or something. It's almost like handguns are the new mistress in their lives! Women too, love their guns, and tend to collect hundreds of rounds of ammunition for them. These modern day gunslingers won't go anywhere without their weapons. In fact there was an article in the news last month about the husband and wife in Colorado who are suing the Postal Service for prohibiting firearms on Postal Property. They claim they should be allowed to bring their guns in when they pick up their mail! WTF?? Our generation grew up watching Westerns on TV. Hopalong Cassidy, the Lone Ranger, and Gunsmoke all featured pistol packing characters, who were quick on the draw, and quicker still on the trigger. Most of us had cap guns to play with as children, and would try and emulate Marshall Dillon, or Ben Cartwright with our slightly slower draw.

I find it interesting that these concealed carry advocates remind me so much of some of the neighborhood kids I grew up with. They were seldom seen without their trusty sidearm. They fancied themselves as the next Marshall Dillon, tho they really didn't want to uphold the law, they wanted to impress everyone with their guns. I have a feeling that these kids grew up to become the concealed carry movement. They have their guns hidden where, after a short time, they can find them and use them. My take is that if a person points a gun at you and pulls the trigger, you hardly have time to watch your life pass in front of your eyes, much less draw your gun. Or better yet, if you see a robber holding up a citizen in a back ally somewhere, pull you trusty pistol and shoot him, you're not a hero, you are a murderer! There is no reason to parade around with a hidden gun. If you feel the need to have one, keep it at home. The police force was hired, (and trained) to uphold the law. They are the ones here to protect us. They alone have the training, the knowledge, and experience to stop crime.
If I had my way, people would not be able to conceal pistols on their person, only shotguns. That way, the surrounding population would know who is armed, and who to stay away from. A concealed shotgun down a person's trouser leg would send a clear message that a gun is present, and that at any moment, the man, (or woman) reach down to scratch themselves, and shoot their foot!

The Lone Ranger was a myth, and the "Wild West" has faded into history. I guess some just won't let that idea go away. Some want to relive their childhood and still play with guns. Sadly, they aren't using caps, but live, lethal, ammunition!

The Sanford Syndrome

2012-01-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

Growing up in the 1950's meant that, at least for us, we would live a different lifestyle than we constantly saw on TV. We wouldn't know the joys of a color television until the early 1970's, nor have more than one television, or telephone. We were the post-war generation, whose parents scrimped and saved to get us to adulthood. I am reminded of this every time I switch on the television, and see ads for expensive new cars, computers, and electronic gadgets. While as kids, we saw the ads for the latest things, but remember the ads for things our families could afford. "See the USA in your Chevrolet" was designed to appeal to our patriotism, and convince us to buy a new car. For most of our families, that was the impossible dream. Instead, we watched commercials where the new car dealers tempted us with used cars. How weird was that? We went to school in hand-me-downs, some of them from acquaintances, some from distant relatives.
That's the point I'm trying to make here is that most people these days, have to make do with castoffs from the more affluent society. Our wages just aren't enough to let us live the American dream. It's kind of sad that the lives that our country promised us, have been replaced by a second-hand lifestyle. Our wages have never kept up with the cost of living, and inflation has destroyed our buying power. We can't even afford to stay the same, as prices keep going up.

And so we live our lives with the castoff items of the better off. It's not just a small percentage of society that does this anymore, either. It's not like I'm complaining, though. I'm more than happy to buy used things at estate sales and thrift shops. In fact, I feel smarter than those folks that paid way too much for an item, just because it was "in" at the time.

In the 1970's, there was a television show called "Sanford and Son". It was about a junk dealer who dealt in second hand items. We watched it back then, as young people who had the world by the tail. We mocked those that would buy something second hand. There was no limit to what we could earn. I'm still in awe of the day I received a raise, and actually surpassed my father's income. There was nothing we couldn't do!
Reality has a way of bitch-slapping you back to earth, though. By the 1990's, we found that our money didn't go very far anymore. We found ourselves having to make do with less than perfect things to get by. We bought used cars, shopped garage sales and flea markets in order to buy what we needed at the lowest price possible.

It's far worse in this new millennium. Nearly everyone shops the second hand stores and estate sales. I have found myself in the position of being a "Fred Sanford" myself as of late. I have been working for an estate sale company selling off the belongings of the deceased and passing along bargains in the process. There is a certain cachet to doing this. People tend to seek me out, asking me to be on the lookout for things they need. I see most of our customers around town, so I am always in contact with them. If I do find what they want, I'm always willing to negotiate a fair price for it. This makes everyone happy, as they always know what the price is for a new item. This is the "second generation American dream", I guess. We have little chance of buying new, and have to resort to used merchandise. I just try to make the experience a little more fun.

We have learned to keep things longer, fix what we have to make it last, and do what it takes to get by in this new economy. Hand-me-downs aren't so bad anymore, and junk has now become junque for most of us. I'm sure not complaining, as now I've found my niche in the second hand world.

RIP Fred Sanford, your business is in good hands!