Analog Medium

River City Ransom (NES 1990) Map

2009-07-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

Reposted from January 2007

click to link to the fullsize scan

Check out this killer map poster scan I found on the old hard drive. I don't know where it came from. And for more River City Ransom goodness, check out the River City Ransom NES review from July 2006.

Droogs: Lax the Stampede and Max Capacity

2009-07-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

Lax the Stampede and Max Capacity
by Lax the Stampede

Check out the official Analog Medium Flickr stream and stay up on our flicks!

Behind the Mask: The Rise and Fall of Leslie Vernon (2006) Review

2009-07-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

There are so few movies that surprise me anymore - old or new. Does anyone else have this problem? I know I'm not alone on this. If there's a great classic I haven't seen, I've at least heard the entire plot and the lessons I'm meant to learn from it. The hidden gems of the low budget world aren't hidden anymore - thanks to the blogosphere, RSS feeds, and Google Reader. And new movies generally just blow. I guess the problem is information overload. I won't watch a movie if I don't know something about it, but as soon as I know something about it, it dampens the experience.

So, I was delighted when I stumbled upon a modern classic. Surfing through Netflix Watch Instantly, making my way through the softcore porn and straight-to-video bullcrap that they stuff it with, I found Behind the Mask: The Rise and Fall of Leslie Vernon. Of course, by writing this review, I'm ruining any chance the reader has of being surprised... fuck it. Behind the Mask is fucking rad! A masterstroke of horror satire, Behind the Mask shows a documentary crew following a would-be serial killer. In their alternate reality, Mike Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger were all real. Leslie Vernon is the next up-and-coming hopeful. The documentary crew follows him as he makes preparations for a night of slashing - playing off all the slasher movie cliches we know and love. The movie becomes something like a text book for the anatomy of a slasher flick.

Nathan Baesal, the lead, sells the shit out of this movie. He acts the main role with more personality than any A-lister could dream of. In certain ways he's very reminiscent of his counterpart in the French film Man Bites Dog, which Behind the Mask was obviously inspired by. I definitely wouldn't say Behind the Mask bit Man Bites Dog, though. The plot devices in Behind the Mask are too clever and original to be labeled as bitten. I don't want to ruin it more than I already have, but I'll simply say the end does not turn out quite how you would expect. If you love horror as much as I do, definitely give this movie a watch. It's my lock of the week.

By the way - if you read this review and still want to be surprised by good flick, watch Man Bites Dog. Nuff said.

- Behind the Mask: The Rise and Fall of Leslie Vernon on Wikipedia
- The Official Site
- Watch it on Netflix Watch Instantly

All-City Arson @ Pod Six - July 4

2009-06-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

All-City Arson @ Pod Six - Saturday, Jul 4 9PM

All-City Arson from Panic in Pod Six! will be playing their new shit at Pod Six this Saturday night. If you're in town and you know where Pod Six is, come on over. If you're going to be in town and you don't know where Pod Six is, email us: podsix@analogmedium.com. Just be sure to BYOB.

Night of the Creeps on DVD!

2009-06-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Killer! Night of the Creeps is getting released on DVD! Back in the day I geeked off getting to see it on the big screen at a midnight movie. Now I can watch it at midnight every night. If you act now, you can go on Amazon and vote on which cover will make the final product. Pretty clever, internet. I'm going to have to keep an eye on you!

- Thanks to CHUD.com for the scoop
- Vote on Amazon

Coming Attractions: Alien Prequel

2009-06-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

Another Alien movie... will it happen? Won't it happen? Needless to say, every good geek and nerd out there has already felt the shockwaves that rocked the internet following the announcement by Ridley Scott that he and Tony Scott would be developing and producing another addition to the alien franchise. There's a lot of wild rumor and speculation out there - is it a prequel, is it a "reboot"? Now add to that list of questions: will it happen at all?

Ridley Scott announced earlier this month that his daughter's beau, commercial director Carl Erik Rinsch, had been selected to direct the film. Apparently he's directed some commercials with a "futuristic" flourish to them... and he happens to be boning the guy's daughter. But there's more problems for Rinsch than concerns over nepotism. According to an article on Entertainment Weekly: "Sources at Fox, however, tell EW that the studio is not interested in greenlighting a prequel unless Scott himself directs."

Personally, I would enjoy seeing another Alien film (what is this - number 7???) I never watched the AVP flicks, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first four films. Yes, even the fourth. :P It would be rad to see the origin of the Aliens, as long as it doesn't involve time travel. Hopefully those Hollywood-ers can figure their shit out and make this happen. I could use another injection of science fiction, even if comes from one of the most bloated franchises out there. I guess I'm a sucker for monster fueled carnage in outer space.

- Read the full article on Entertainment Weekly
- Read what Sigourney Weaver has to say about it

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

Remake Alert! - Poltergeist (2011)

2009-06-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

Reposted from Silver Screen Kid June 2009

No stars attached, no final script, nothing considered remotely solid to report on... but there you have it. You better believe Poltergeist (1982) is getting remade - most likely into a shitty CG cookie cutter of a haunted house movie. The original is one of my all time favs. It's the kind of movie that has horror movie charm oozing out of every orifice. It's a perfect example of the remake epidemic - a classic that will most likely sell well repackaged for the modern market. But at what cost??? Sully the franchises name in hopes of a quick buck? Do your thang Hollywood! Do your thang.

- Check out the script review for an outdated version of the script on Latino Reviews (WTF? why?)

Coming Attractions: Zombieland (2009)

2009-06-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

Rising into theaters October 9, 2009

I'm already painfully late to the party, but I have to join in with the rest of the internet in expressing my awe and excitement at this momentous occasion. It is truly a shocking development, and perhaps one of the most fundamentally life changing events in my adult life: BILL MURRAY WILL PLAY A ZOMBIE in an upcoming film. Screw graduating from college, this is something to write home about. I'm a huge Bill Murray fan - and I kinda like zombies, too. The two together? Well, that's just double delicious.

Mr. Murray might not actually be "playing" a zombie. It's likely that he'll only appear as a brief cameo, but it's still retardedly awesome. This might be weird to say about the guy who starred in Meatballs, but Bill Murray is kinda pretentious (from what I hear). The fact that he's willing to shamble and moan with the rest of the rotters says a lot about the sway zombies have in the industry right now. The brains biz is a buzz. I guess his decision was helped by the fact that Zombieland (the name of the film in question) looks to be one hell of a kick ass zombie ride. I've seen countless movies dealing with widespread zombie outbreak in an urban setting, and countless movies blending comedy and zombies. But somehow the trailer for Zombieland still makes my mouth water and my killing muscles twitch. Woody Harrelson looks like he serves up possibly his greatest role to date as the brash lead zombie slayer. (Yes, this is the movie Woody was shooting when he attacked a papparazzo and claimed he mistook him for a zombie. What a badass excuse!)

This movie has definitely made my short list. Brains will be eaten. Flesh will be rended. And I will be laughing all the way.

- Watch the trailer on DEATHBYVIDEO
- Zombieland on Wikipedia

Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SEGA Genesis 1993) Review

2009-06-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

Reposted from October 2006

I've secretly always hoped that zombies would eat my neighbors so that I could go on an undead slaying rampage. As I sit here with the Silver Screen Kid, consuming 907 grams of irregular candies rejected from the factory and playing Zombies Ate My Neighbors, I'm living out my dreams vicariously through my emulator. The best part was when the hockey masked chainsaw maniac killed the baby. That's hardcore. This game was an extravagant weave of horror genres.

You start out saving your neighbors from zombies, in a wicked simultaneous 2-player mode. It quickly escalates to include ax-wielding midgets, hockey masked chainsaw maniacs, mummies, werewolves, pod-people, and a giant baby. Plus anything else you can think of. The shit has hit the fan and all hell has broken loose and it's beautiful. The Silver Screen Kid and I remapped the controls of the emulator so that we could play 2-player mode with only one keyboard. It worked well enough. 2-player mode is loads better than solo. This game will definitely be included first-thing on the emulator arcade cabinet we're building.

- SEGA Cheats - Zombies Ate My Neighbors (Analog Medium Nov 2005)

SimCity (SNES 1991) Game Genie Codes

2009-06-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

We recently reposted cheats to SimCity for SNES. It got me thinking that there must be some user-discovered or supplemental codes for SimCity SNES that weren't in the original code book. There sure are. I recommend the "Unlimited money" and "Faster time" codes.

DD67-DFAA - Faster time
DE67-DFAA - Slower time
86AB-6D02 + D8AB-6D62 - Start easy game with $3,000
0DA8-6D02 + BAAB-6D62 - Start easy game with $40,000
1DAB-6D02 + 3CAB-6D62 - Start easy game with $60,000
C28A-AD61 - Money usually does not decrease
E28A-AD61 - Unlimited money

Source: GameWinners.com

Death By Link June 2009

2009-06-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

On this edition of Death By Link we bring you a special Tumblr edition. These are some of the blogs I've been checking out on Tumblr lately.

- Scanwiches makes me hungry every time.

- This is why you're fat makes me hungry around 40% of the time. They just got a book deal, so watch out!

- NES things is a kindred spirit and is clearly obsessed with the Nintnendo Entertainment System.

- PICAPIXELS is out of Japan. I don't know where he finds all the pictures he posts, but I'm in like with him.

- fuckyeahstormtroopers is exactly what it sounds like.

Coming Attractions: Purefold

2009-06-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

My brain melted a bit when I first read about Purefold - a new addition to the Blade Runner pantheon. Everyone already knows Blade Runner is the single greatest film to grace the cyberpunk genre. Killer source material, killer setting, killer characters, killer style - and killer replicants. It really can't be beat. Blade Runner: Final Cut is the only thing in recent history that can even be compared to the original. I don't think anyone was expecting BR to get turned into a franchise. Thank God for the internets! I guess franchise is not the most appropriate term for the beast that is Purefold, though. An appropriate term for it doesn't really exist yet. One will have to be invented.

Here's where the brain melting comes in: Purefold will be a series of webisodes set in the Blade Runner universe! Cool, right? Each short will be 5-10 minutes long and directed by the hottest up-and-coming directors out there. Want more? The content of the shorts will be open to influence from fan feedback generated through discussions over at friendfeed. That's been done, right? Here's the whammy: it will all be created under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 liscence! As soon as this sucker hits the web, it will be COMPLETELY FREE AND LEGAL to download it, remix it, and repost it. Fuckin' super rad!

Free access to the finished material isn't just a marketing gimmick, though. Piracy is part of the business model! It's being pushed as a new type of product placement (of sorts). Coke could run in and re-edit the thing so every background actor is sporting a can of Coke Zero. iPod could come in and turn every character into a silhouette cast against an array of fruity colors. Analog Medium could jump in and slap our url on every electronic marquis and hover car bumper. The possibilities are endless. The only requirement is that any product resulting from the original material must also be free to use. The whole mindboggling venture was conceived by Ag8 and is being launched by Free Scott - the joint entertainment venture between Ridley Scott and Tony Scott.

There's one little catch: due to licensing issues with Blade Runner's original source material (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K Dick) - nothing can be pulled directly out of the original film. There won't be any mention of Dekker, Edward James Olmos won't be creeping people out, and I don't think replicants will even make it into the series. Purefold's timeline will run from 2011 to 2019 - the lead up to everything we see in the film. Still, the director of Blade Runner is taking us back to that unforgettable universe 25+ years after it was first translated to the screen, and he's piping it straight into the vast sea of shared information that has, in the meantime, become our lives. How cyberpunk is that?

- Read the press release on Ag8.com
- Help contribute to the shorts by discussing on FriendFeed

UPDATE: tomhimpe said... "Thanks for a great post! Regarding the product placement: we're staying far away from traditional product placement techniques, as it's not a very interesting way for brands to get involved, and it spoils the fun for the audience. Instead, we're looking at featuring prototype future products and services. Purefold is there to uncover what the audience wants from the future, and what brands are up to in the next few years."

Twitpocalypse is Coming

2009-06-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Malfunctioning Eddie

Image by Max Capacity

Twitterers beware! The Twitpocalypse is coming! (What is the proper term for one who twitters? A twit?)

The uber-trendy social networking site has produced an uber-trendy faux apocalypse. According to twitpocalypse.com:

"The Twitpocalypse is similar to the Y2K bug. Very soon the unique identifier associated to each tweet will exceed 2,147,483,647

For some of your favorite third-party Twitter services not designed to handle such a case, the sequence will suddenly turn into negative numbers. At this point, they are very likely to malfunction or crash."

At press time (which is whenever the hell I want it to be) the end-of-all-things-twitter prediction is anticipating zero hour occurring on June 13th at 6:45am. If you're obsessed with all the 3rd party bells and whistles for twitter out there, better get your fix in now while you can! But then again, the more you post the quicker Twitpocalypse will be upon us. Dilemma! To tweet or not to tweet? (What a dumb question)

- Check for an up-to-date prediction on twitpocalypse.com

RIP David Carradine

2009-06-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

David Carradine
(1936 - 2009)

Coming Attractions: [Rec] 2 and To Kako 2: Evil in the Time of Heroes (2009)

2009-06-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

Today I was stumbling around through movie news on ShockTillYouDrop, waiting for a mention of zombies or 3-D to catch my eye, when I noticed a striking correlation between two of the stories. There are two sequels to modern, foreign-made zombie movies coming out this year. Not only that, they're sequels to two modern, foreign-made zombie movies I enjoyed! What are the chances? (I'm all about the classics - foreign zombie movies are fine, as long as they're Italian)

[Rec] 2 (2009) is a follow-up to the frenetic fun ride known as (duh) [Rec] (2007). Remember [Rec]? The Spanish flick with the Blair Witch camera work that didn't suck? The fact that a sequel is dropping is really no surprise. [Rec] is one of the rare zombie flicks from the past 10 years that has enjoyed both successful returns and good reviews from fans. Even the American remake, Quarantine, earned a fair amount of respect from rotter-friendly fan boys (and clocked some major dollars). I enjoyed [Rec] thoroughly myself, although I wasn't going as ape shit over it as some people out there. Hopefully they used their newer bigger budget to fix some of the things I felt were lacking in the first film, like the lack of sustained gore on camera.

I was much more surprised to find out about the sequel to To Kako (Evil) (2005). Everyone remembers To Kako as the first Greek zombie movie... EVER. It brought Greece to the worldwide zombie pantheon in 2005, and admirably so. Now, 4 years later, the zombies have risen to terrorize the Land of Gods once again in To Kako 2: Evil in the Time of Heroes. This time Billy Zane is involved! Wtf? Is he Greek or something? What am I missing there? He was fantastic in Demon Knight, don't get me wrong. It's just extremely random that he's showing up in a long incubated follow up to an obscure low budget zombie flick. It looks like it might be killer, though. Watch the trailer for the surprise meaning behind the title. Fuck it, I'll just tell you. Greek gladiators versus zombies! It's exactly what I expected the first time I heard Greece made a zombie flick. Could be awesome.

- Watch the teaser for [Rec] 2 on DEATH BY VIDEO
- Watch the teaser for To Kako 2: Evil in the Time of Heroes on DEATH BY VIDEO
- shocktillyoudrop.com

SimCity (SNES 1991)

2009-06-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Reposted from September 2006

I've been getting busy all over SimCity for Super Nintendo with the help of the cheat code I found. The SimCity Mad Money code, as I like to call it. My city is called Pod Six, after the codename of the new Analog Medium office. It's super cyberpunk. I'm thinking about taking out all the police stations and letting the citizens fend for themselves. Click on the image above to see the big map. While I was researching the game I also found out that there's two unlockable levels in the SNES version of SimCity.

SimCity Mad Money
To max out your money: Turn off auto finances, turn your tax rate and budgets down to 0%. Spend all your money. When the tax screen pops up, hold the L button and reset the budgets to 100% and complete the transaction while still holding the L button. Once you get back to the menu, release the L button and exit the menu. Your cash should be a buck short of a mill.

Unlockable Levels
To unlock the Las Vegas scenario, make a city with at least 100,00 citizens and save it. Beat the six scenarios to unlock Las Vegas. Make sure you have that city saved.
To unlock the Freeland Scenario, just beat the Las Vegas scenario.

Class of 1984 (1982) Review

2009-05-31T17:07:00.000-07:00

"Last year there were 280,000 incidents of violence by students against their teachers and classmates in our high schools. Unfortunately, this film is partially based on true events. Fortunately very few schools are like Lincoln High... yet."

Delicious opening title card, no? That was just the start of the entirely unique viewing experience that is Class of 1984. A cautionary tale about the rising trend of youth violence at American high schools in 1984, it tells the tale of a idealistic teacher from Nebraska who takes a job teaching music at an inner city high school. He quickly finds a nemesis: Stegman, the ringleader of a fascist, racist ring of ultra-punked out drug dealing delinquents. And I mean ultra-punk. They push coke, do heroine, turn out prostitutes, rape, rob, rumble, murder - you name it. There are some killer scenes filmed in an early 80s punk club, too. Alice Cooper even provided the movie's theme song: "I Am The Future."

Class of 1984 is comprised of truly violent exploitation scenes mixed with scenes of earnest drama. The movie as a whole ends up somewhere in between, but definitely leans more toward kick-you-in-the-crotch exploitation. There was an obvious attempt on the part of the filmmakers to create a prophetic vision warning people of the impending explosion of violence and debauchery at American high schools. And I mean obvious. A student experiments with coke and falls to his death from the top of a flagpole wrapped in the American flag, a teacher holds his class hostage with a gun to force his lessons through, etc. (Both classic scenes I might add). To hear director Mark L Lester describe the film, you would think you were watching his purely altruistic contribution to social awareness of youth violence. But remember, this is the same guy who directed Commando - one of the ultimate showcases of senseless action violence from 1985, complete with its own action figures. Still, many of the themes raised by Class of 1984 turned out to be all too commonplace today. The need for metal detectors on campus, youth on teacher violence... the only thing it didn't predict was the modern trend of high school teachers sleeping with their students.

My favorite scenes in Class of 1984 are the ones that really let the violence rip (of course). Essentially the movie goes ape-shit for the last 15 or 20 minutes, which is part of the reason I found it thoroughly enjoyable. I became invested in the characters through the honest intentions of the film making and its charming B-movie qualities, I was entertained by the spatterings of trumped up nihilistic youthful rebellion, but the end really brought it home. I've read on the internets that you can't really enjoy this movie without having a nostalgic connection to it from your youth. I beg to differ. I wasn't born yet when this movie was made, but I was thoroughly entertained by it. Without giving too much away, I'll just say watch for the scene in the woodshop class involving the table saw. Okay, maybe that does give too much away.

- Class of 1984 on Wikipedia
- Watch the trailer on DEATHBYVIDEO

Slanty Skeleton Prototype Photo

2009-05-28T22:29:00.001-07:00

Check out this sweet pic of Max Capacity smoking in one of our new AM Slanty Skeleton shirts. This is the first one we've gotten our hands on, but there's a bunch of other color schemes in the shop we want to check out. And Jaime, your Monkeys Eat People shirt just got here too. So after our next paycheck we'll get that sent out to you for being such a good Droog.

Coming Attractions: Bazooka Joe: The Movie

2009-05-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

A feature length movie based on the Bazooka Joe comic strip... as many on the internet have already put it so succinctly, WTF??? For real? Bazooka Joe, the star of his own 1" x 2" strip, never even had the clout to be included in the comics section of the Sunday paper. He spent his time pushing his self titled brand of shitty bubblegum. Brand awareness is everything, right? I remember that stuff was always rock hard by the time I got around to chomping it. So, let's think about this for a moment: a standard feature film screenplay is 90-120 pages long. Bazooka Joe's old material takes up 2-3 cells, and was shorter on words than your average Garfield strip. I don't envy the writer in charge of that adaptation. I'm taking bets on what the plot of the movie could be. Bazooka Joe and Mort ride motorcycles through South America experiencing the plight of the exploited proletariat? Bazooka Joe impregnates Jane and she decides to keep the baby, despite the willingness of Toughie and Hungry Herman to adopt it as a co-habitating gay couple? Or maybe something with aliens? Let me know if you have any predictions. I predict this movie will die long before it reaches the screen. At least I hope it will, despite the millions of dollars that are bound to get thrown at it. Give me an adaptation of Walking Dead, or DMZ. Not fuckin' Bazooka Joe. Ludicrous.

- Read the announcement on hollywoodreporter.com

DEATH BY VIDEO: May 2009

2009-05-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

- In honor of the the memory of the first movie and the potential for the new Ghostbusters movie, here's the video for the Ghostbusters theme song, complete with random celebrity cameos.

- The trailer for Teenage Exorcist makes it look like a larf.

- Check out Surkin's cool remix of the Bionic Commando theme, complete with original video.

- Maybe one of the best music videos of all time, The Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up should not be viewed around supervisors, girlfriends, or mothers.

- The video for Circles by Qua has puppets in it. That's all you need to know.

- As a bonus, watch Too Short play Dope Fiend Beat live.

Coming Attractions: Ghostbusters 3 (2012?)

2009-05-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

Oh snap! Another Ghostbusters movie? Why has it taken this long? The original holds a special place in my heart. It has everything a movie should have. EVERYTHING!!! Comedy, action, romance, horror, suspense, sex, Bill Murray - you name it, it's got it. Not to mention some of the most classic lines of dialogue ever committed to celluloid. ("Next time someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'Yes!'") As a wee lad I used to watch the VHS two, maybe three times in a row in a single sitting. It's one of those rare movies that still entertains the pants off me when I watch it today.

Now Ghostbusters is joining the growing ranks of franchises getting a post-Millennium reboot. Ideas for Ghostbusters 3 have been floating around for years now, Harold Ramis being the main champion of the cause. Dan Aykroyd just told the Los Angeles Times that the entire original cast, including Sigourney Weaver, has signed on and plans are moving forward. Filming could start as soon as this Winter. Bill Murray has traditionally been the hold out, but apparently the new script was up to his standards and the lights are green. The new script, by the writers of the new Jack Black movie Year One, involves a "passing-of-the-torch" story line that is quickly becoming the standard scenario for sequels like this (think Star Trek XI). Possible new Ghostbusters include Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku. At one point way-back-when there was talk about getting Ben Stiller to star, but that wasn't mentioned this time around.

There's still a million steps between now and the ultimate moment of geeking - the premeire of Ghostbusters 3. Anything could happen at any time to make this fall apart. The details are still extremely scant, too. There isn't even a director attached (Ivan Reitman has moved on to bigger and more profitable things), but Ramis seems to be the natural choice. The guy directed Groundhog's Day for fuck's sake! He knows what he's doing. Whatever happens, you can bet I'll be there. Who else you gonna call? It's the fuckin' Ghostbusters!

- Read the article from the LA Times

Teenage Exorcist (1991) Review

2009-05-20T01:54:00.000-07:00

Teenage Exorcist... is that a teenager who's an exorcist, or an exorcist who works with teenagers? Apparently neither! It's the epitome of early 90's, straight-to-video schlock starring Eddie Deezen, who you may remember as the quintessential nerdlinger from Grease 2 or WarGames. He was also the voice of Mandark on Dexter's Laboratory (the guy's voice is unmistakeable). In Teenage Exorcist he plays a pizza delivery guy who inadvertently gets sucked into a madcap scenario involving a basement dwelling demon and an uptight college girl possessed by malicious spirit who turns her... slutty. And I mean slutty - leather two piece and riding crop and everything. Why would you want to exorcise that?

I won't even bother going too far into the plot of Teenage Exorcist. There are things that happen (possession, exorcism, female-to-dog transformation, zombie attacks, a failed attack with a plug-in chainsaw, cross dressing, etc) that never seem to coalesce into a coherent story or plot line. It's all tossed together like a cheap salad, mainly so the guy writing the synopsis on the back of the video sleeve didn't have to lie to attract an audience. Every monster and every nipple displayed onscreen is a selling point to attract hapless rubes wandering the horror section at their local video store. The zombies in the film are especially random and unmotivated. They just sorta show up. Luckily the exorcist, played by the infamous Robert Quarry, is there to distract them with his deck of cards. Literally. He plays card games with the zombies until they fall asleep. Lmao.

There is a special kind of talent on display in Teenage Exorcist. It's hard to make a movie that is this shitty that still manages to stay entertaining throughout. I was severely reticent about allowing it to play past 15 minutes (it helped seeing the naked rack in the first 60 seconds). The beginning has a numbing effect on the senses, like the cinematic equivalent of brain freeze, what with the soap opera lighting and cardboard cut-out acting. They actually try to spook the viewer by making a carton of milk look like it's breathing. It's probably a good thing I wasn't paying closer attention to it. However, judging by the sum total of my reactions to Teenage Exorcist, I've concluded that I am very pleased I watched it. There were a lot of "wtf?" moments, a lot of "omg" moments, and generally a lot of moments that made me question why I spend my free time watching stuff like this. But once the zany antics got going and the "horror" gave way to full blown cartoon-style parody fun, I found there were tons of genuine laughs in there. I laughed with the movie and at it. Seriously, where else can you hear the line, "What do you think this is, a coffee break? Get out there and terrorize those people. Be a zombie!"

- Don't trust me? Get an expert's opinion! Teenage Exorcist on JoeBobBriggs.com (Bring back Monstervision!!!)
- Teenage Exorcist on Netflix
- Watch the trailer on DEATH BY VIDEO

Remake Alert! - Jekyll and Hyde (2010)

2009-05-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

Reposted from Silver Screen Kid May 2009

Watch out! 50 Cent is about to take the horror remake world by storm! He's bringing the same talent and craftsmanship (sarcasm implied) that he brings to his music to the big screen. Forrest Whittaker is also attached to the project, due in 2010. How do I know this remake is going to blow goats? I read between the lines:

"Director Abel Ferrara is taking another walk on the wild side with a re-imagining of Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which will be contemporized and titled Jekyll and Hyde. Forest Whitaker and Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson are attached to play the lead roles in the classic tale about a doctor who invents a potion that unleashes his violent alter ego." (Variety)

"Contemporized" is never a good word to describe a remake. Usually it means they include scenes with cell phones and email. In this case, I imagine they'll transpose the story to an "urban" setting - aka The Ghetto. In any case, I can't imagine 50 Cent offering up even a fraction of the physical expressiveness necessary to pull off the switch between personalities integral to the plot. And who's going to play which part, I wonder? 50 Cent as a mad scientist??? Doubtful. They'll probably make him Hyde. Either way it's gonna blow goats. Trust me, I know these things. I'm from the internet.

Blast Into Combat With Analog Medium

2009-05-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

Reposted from February 2007

Blast Into Combat With Analog Medium
by Max Capacity