anatomy of thought

30 is the magic number

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 06:50:00 +0000

God works in mysterious ways. God also likes to leave mysterious messages through uncanny messengers. Take for instance the sight I saw in my back yard one day as I sat with my daughter enjoying some mid-day sunshine. I said, "Look, Betty! A beautiful butterfly…..hanging out on Sam's poo!" I was shocked to see a butterfly so content to hang out on our dog's crap! It was there for a good 30 minutes, just chompin' away. Of course, as with most "messages from God", there is a good scientific reason why this butterfly was on the dog's poo. However, only God can explain why I chose to be in the yard at the choice moment to witness it.

As I watched this butterfly delicately feasting on the reconstituted remnants of Sam's dinner, I couldn't help thinking that this is something that I needed to learn from. This butterfly was literally turning this shit into gold! It found the most value in a shitty situation (pun intended!) and that was something that I have not been doing in my recent life. It's so easy to throw yourself a pity party and dwell on the ways life has screwed you over and I have been guilty of that for the last couple of months.

Take for instance this blog. What used to be my outlet for happy thoughts of the day has turned into my delta of abstract angst. I was talking to someone recently about journal writing (OK, we actually said "Diary" writing, because no one writes in a "Journal" when they are 10), and we both admitted that we never wrote about anything that we are happy about, especially when we were little. Everything from my diary at 10 was some crap story about some HUGE drama that was so important at the time. Ironically, my diary at 20 is no different. Since I have turned 30, I think it's time that the format of my recorded life needs a change!

Why is this personal phenomena part of our human condition? Why is it so easy to kvetch about the small things and forget to celebrate the good? There's a cyclical nature to life and I feel like I'm walking somewhat of a similar path to one I was walking 10 years ago. At the time, I was so waterlogged emotionally, that I felt like I couldn't just ever lie about how I was actually feeling. I even did an art piece about it. It was all about the concept of constantly having to answer "I'm fine." or "Can't complain ." or the overly common "OK." when someone asked, "How are you?" It's polite to ask the question, but impolite to actually go into detail about what's actually going on. I only ever wanted to talk about what was bothering me and I never felt like it was right to own that feeling.

Although I feel like I've past this now, it's almost like I'm in this perpetual state of emotional wandering. -like the feeling you get when you're starving and standing in front of the pantry, not knowing what you want to eat since you haven't gone to grocery in a long time and all you have left are random ingredients to make who knows what. It's hard to decide when you feel like you don't have anything to choose from.

I recently read a birthday horoscope that said, "People born on this date want what they want, though exactly what that is has a tendency to change from day to day. November 28 individuals are often uncertain about which path to take, generally because they have so many interests. They try hard to be more decisive about goals, which can become a goal in itself!" True to my sign, I am an archer constantly trying to increase my skills as a sharp shooter, but it takes great skill to hit a moving target.

In light of realizing (and accepting) that I have life trajectory ADD, I feel propelled to correct this condition in myself. I feel guilty for not happening upon this self diagnosis years ago when I was in my mid 20's. Think of how much more prepared I'd be!!! I've started to ask myself and my guides for more concrete direction as to where I need to go from this point in my life, and from what I can gather, the message is and always has been the same: "FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!"

Although, I keep randomly seeing little signs about taking a more active role in my existence. While standing around waiting near the microwave at work, I ended up reading these self awareness blurbs on a Kaiser Permanente lunch sack. The saying that got me was "Successful people say 'I will' instead of 'I'll try." How many times had I said that in the past? and more importantly, how much do I care about that number??? I feel like society puts so much emphasis on SUCCESS. Our focus is so much on monetary gain, material gain, and social status. The who, the what, and the where. Never in my life have I felt more that "how well you're doing" is tied directly to the numerical amount in your bank account. Turning 30 and having a family to support adds a fire underneath that ladder to success!!!

and that ladder…It's ironic that Chutes and Ladders is a game that we all played as kids, because such is life! Who hasn't taken a ladder to the top, only to take a chute back down to the bottom of the board? The frustration of never getting anywhere in the game brings about another adage about success, "It's not whether you win or lose that's important, it's how you play the game." -but who doesn't like to win? especially when you feel like you've lost the whole season.

Bullocks to the ladder I've been on!

I've reached the Twilight Zone portion of mine where I don't know where the ladder is heading. It doesn't feel like an upward direction anymore. -or a straight direction for that matter. I feel like I'm in a constant zig zag, but apparently that's normal. Recently, I heard a bit on NPR about how it's scientifically impossible for any human being to walk in a straight line beyond a certain point. There's an apparent and unfounded point in which we all turn.

I feel that I have reached that point in my life. This is my moment to turn away from the path I've been trying to walk for so long, one that I chose when I was younger, naive, and with more to prove. Life is so different now, so precious. No longer do I feel the need to pretend that I am invincible. There's something comforting to me in knowing that I am not. -fitting that this moment can help me mold a New Year's resolution: "I must enjoy the life that I have and not be bounded by the things that I can not control. I have to revel in the things I can change and be pro-active in how I achieve my core goals. Live to enjoy life, not just get through it." It's also ironic that 2011 is a 7 year in numerology for me, meaning that this is a time to retreat and re-assess my life and where I am headed. For a change, I am looking forward to that challenge and the road in front of me.

Maternity Leave in America SUCKS!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 03:08:00 +0000

Let's just get it out there, shall we. I am NOT happy about returning back to work after being on maternity leave! Granted that I took 12 weeks FMLA and some vacation time to boot, I still can't bring myself to the point where I can be comfortable leaving my baby and going to work. The earliest memory that I have is from when I was probably 6-9 months old. I was sitting in a chair, watching my Mom walk away from me. I am convinced that this is the start of the animosity that I had towards her when I was little about not spending enough time with me. Of course, I've gotten over it by now, but I'm still secretly paranoid of the scars I'm going to leave on Betty during her childhood. It doesn't help that I'm REALLY into astrology and read in my "Secret Language of Relationships" book that Betty and I's worst relationship pairing would be parent-child.

*pauses*

...Maybe this is the time of my life that I should put all of this astrology shit behind me. If anything, reading that our relationship could potentially be challenging should be more of a "reminder" to me that life, especially parenthood, is about patience, empathy, and understanding. -More reason to keep my volcanic nature in "dormant mode" as I venture into Mommy-dom.

I digress. So, since Pat is laid off and his Dad is sick, he's going to be Mr. Mom for a while. We had originally hoped for Pat's temporary contract job would turn into a permanent one, but things just didn't work out that way. I'm kind of glad because we would have had to put Betty in daycare right away. As daunting a scenario as it is going down to one income and unemployment again with a baby, I am thoroughly glad that I don't have to leave my infant with complete strangers at a day-care....yet.

Although I have postponed a potentially scarring "mother moment", I still can't help thinking about how much better I'd feel if I had more time with my baby. It still boggles my mind that our country is considered to be so advanced, yet our maternity rights are so behind other countries. Namely, we STILL don't have the right to paid leave!? We are one out of FOUR countries in the WORLD that don't get some kind of paid leave. The other countries must be like England or Australia or something, right? -Countries with some semblance of our economical standing? Ah, no. The other countries are Lesotho, Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea. I can guarantee that most people in America don't even know where the hell those countries are.

The Swedes get a FULL YEAR of maternity leave that you can share with the father! The unfortunate trade off is that it's really hard to get executive positions if you are a woman, because of the maternity laws. Sweden's top earners are all men. (Although, my source for that is old...I wonder how different it is now!) Financially, it makes sense to me that you should only be able to take up to a certain amount of time to take care of your baby without your uterus bringing about the demise of a company. However, I think it's ludicrous that we can't get at least 6 weeks paid!

Googling "maternity leave in America" brings up sad results. However, I did find an article that says there is a bill , the Federal Employee Paid Parental Leave Act, that is trying to be passed in the senate. This bill would allow federal employees up to four weeks paid leave. Although that sounded like a promising start, I'm miffed that this doesn't cover people who are NOT a federal employee. What about the rest of us who don't work for the govt.??? I found no current articles saying whether or not the bill was passed in the senate. I guess not, since the passing would have been plastered all over the news! Another article says some people blame the US Feminist Movement for the reason we are so behind other countries. They rallied for equal rights, but now that we have them, we are paying for it with our lousy maternity leave!!! Really?? Is it really a "have our cake and eat it too" situation that women should have equal rights AND the right to not lose our standing with our jobs just because we want to reproduce? What are we doing (or not doing) as modern women in America to let this go for so long? How have we become so complacent, that none of us are dong anything to change this? Are we too busy being full time employees and full time moms?

If Australia in 2011 can get 18 weeks paid, then I don't see why we can't we get paid leave too. After all, who wants to be the cheese that stands alone? If and when Australia passes this law, the US will be the only industrialized nation that doesn't make it mandatory that their citizens get some sort of paid leave.

I really hope that some day there will be something like the Federal Employees Paid Parental Leave Act that will be passed for all parents. I'd love for my husband to have the right to take time off to spend with his baby too! It's hard to believe that Dads haven't had that right for a long time. America, or the world for that matter, just can't embrace the idea of Mr. Mom. I can't find one parenting magazine, floor mop ad, or baby product ad that is geared towards men. It's like today's advertising execs still think that men don't know how to mop a floor or take care of a baby. How can they still be so blind? With the economy in the toilet, there are more and more families have stay at home fathers who probably mop a floor and change a diaper during their day to day routine!

I'm glad to see that there are some stay-at-home Dads who are networking together and trying to give more exposure to the Mr. Mom trend. However, I'm not sure that I approve of how some of them are going about it. There's a local Atlanta DJ that put together a group called "Dads Between Gigs", a group "for unemployed dads to network with other unemployed dads while giving their kids something fun to do". Am I wrong in finding something backwards about the title of this group? I feel like it perpetuates an air of antiquity when we could otherwise be embracing this time as a chance to take a step forward in how we view modern family life. After all, there would NEVER be a group called "Mom's Between Gigs"! Why is it hard for modern society to accept the role of fathers as primary care givers?

I can see why this is a hard topic to sort out the pros and cons, but I find it really surprising that there aren't more bills being passed to remedy the shortfalls of our parental leave laws. Today's American parents need to reverse the notion that we all can't have a great career unless we are childless and willing to forgo taking time to raise a family. What is it going to take to get the US to jump on the bandwagon and allow our citizens to have their reproductive rights honored by making it mandatory to provide paid time off to raise our babies? Until we get this answered, I, like the rest of American moms, will be returning to work and leaving my baby all too soon.

"B" is for Baby, Bottles, and Brain Tumor

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 00:17:00 +0000

One of these things are not like the other. Some of these things are kind of the same...

Little did I know that as I was writing my last post, I really was in the twilight of my non-parent days, because the next evening, I went to the hospital for "False labor"! I say "False" because two hours after I was told to go home, "real labor" started. Then just TWENTY hours later, my beautiful baby girl, Betty, was born on 01/11/10 (kind of cool that it's the same backwards and forwards!). She is perfect in every way!

CAUTION: This is the part of my bloggery where I talk about my labor. So if your eyes glaze over labor stories and you'd rather not hear about it, please skip to the "***".

So, we went back to the maternity ward only five hours after we'd been there before. The same nurse who sent us home looked at us like we were crazy. I could have beat the shit out of her when she checked me again and said with all certainty in her voice that I'd likely be sent home again, since this had to be false labor for the second time! False labor my ass! If feeling like I was getting hit with a baseball bat in the uterus every 5 minutes is false labor, then I wanted to know what was real.

After Jedi-mind tricking the nurse to agree that I was certainly NOT in false labor, she told me to walk around the maternity ward for a while to see if that would progress things. The maternity ward was oddly quiet. There was no screaming and no babies crying anywhere. Pat and I seemed to be the only ones there! We walked around for maybe 30 minutes. I started out being able to walk the whole ward without stopping. Towards the end, I had to sit down during every contraction. After being checked again, we discovered that walking (er, waddling!) alone had helped me dilate another 2 centimeters. So they finally carted me off to the delivery room at 6 in the morning!

The next stage of labor was mind numbing. All that panting you see on TLC? That's real!!!! -Although, I wasn't the cussing, moaning, and bitching pregnant lady I thought I was going to be. I was in a pain trance. I barely spoke and couldn't really open my eyes, because I couldn't focus on anything else other than the contractions. We all threw Pat under the bus saying that he couldn't take the pressure, but he was awesome through the whole thing. He got me everything I needed and made sure that I was feeling ok, even through delivery! I had planned to see how long I could go without an epidural. I actually only lasted about 10 hours, but that 10 hours was LONG ENOUGH!!! I couldn't imagine going through that whole thing without it! I was really worried that the epidural would slow my labor, but it progressed steadily. I kept calling Betty our "overachiever", because we were always progressed further than anyone expected and Betty was always in the perfect position.

By the time I hit 10 cm., there was a lot of activity in the maternity ward, just not so much in my delivery room! I was told over and over again that the doctor couldn't come check on me because he was performing an emergency cesarean surgery. It seemed like I was the only one who wasn't delivering by c-section! Also, the awesome nurses that I had all day were M.I.A. Apparently, there was a "problem" with the delivery of a baby, meaning a baby died. No one wanted to tell me that this was the case, but I figured that's what happened.

I had been in labor for nearly 20 hours by the time my parents and family had arrived. It was a big relief to have my Mom and Pat at my side when it was time for me to push! I really needed their support in the delivery room, especially since things were going so crazy! I had gotten a fever from being in labor for so long and was put on an oxygen mask. Also, a FREAKIN' FIRE ALARM was blaring in our ears and didn't stop until after I delivered Betty. I was also nervous, because there was a shift change. I had a brand new staff of strangers that I didn't get to know before hand and all of them seemed to be assholes! All three of my doctors were also conveniently M.I.A. as well. However, I was assured that he was "the best" on staff that day.

There were a NUMBER of things that I didn't expect about delivery and the aftermath:

Pushing for more than an hour. I feel like I could have pushed for a shorter amount of time, but everyone had to get "ready" which took FOREVER! In the movies, it always seems like you push for 5 mins. and the baby's out!
Not feeling like I trusted anyone in the room except my family & not generally feeling in control of my labor
Not being the first one to hold my baby (She was not poetically put on my chest like I've seen on TLC. I am still bitter about this!)
Discovering later that the nurse from the 1st shift "saved" me from a cesarean by convincing the doctor that the new nurse was wrong in suggesting to him that I was unable to continue with my vaginal birth....REALLY!!!
Not realizing that I was getting an episiotomy until I heard scissors snipping (The life of my vagina flashed before my eyes! It was like witnessing the devastation of Hiroshima. I am still slightly scarred by this event!!!)
Realizing that the baby will be in your care pretty much THE SECOND it is born. There's no waiting around until you mentally recover from birth. After they check out the baby for any major health problems, they cart the baby to your room and PARENTHOOD BEGINS!
Realizing the after pains of delivery will KICK YOUR ASS!
Swelling up like a balloon after 2 days of being on IV meds
Developing a rash from oxytocin overload
Stretch marks, stretch marks, STRETCH MARKS!!!
Realizing that none of the above really matters when I look at my daughter and know that she more beautiful and perfect than I could ever have imagined!

The first month after my daughter was born was equally awesome and rough. I didn't sleep for most of it, but Pat and I were extremely happy! Betty was a little jaundiced when we took her home, so we gave her lots of morning sun baths. Which are GREAT for photo taking!

The jaundice probably came about because my milk didn't come in until 4 days after Betty was born. So I basically starved her for a while. Of course, this is pretty normal since most babies lose weight then gain it back. But for some reason, I was having some kind of "postpartum psychosis" and cried A LOT about the fact that my breasts were preventing me from obtaining my Breastfeeding Badge of motherhood. The best was when I broke down and cried in front of the nurse at the pediatrician's office. Thank -god that portion of time only lasted a few weeks! I thought I was having postpartum depression. I ended up having to supplement my breast-feedings with formula, which eventually turned into formula bottle feedings that I supplemented with breast milk! If I were to start the whole breastfeeding thing over again. I would have started completely differently. I NEVER would have given Betty bottles. I should have spoon fed her or something. It was like I gave her the option of drinking through a straw or a coffee stirrer! My breasts never won. :o( I really think that the stress of giving birth had a lot to do with my poor milk production. Of course, the most important thing is that Betty is happy and healthy! Looking back on all of this, the things that worried me the most were chump change compared to what was actually in store for Pat and I.

***

The Friday Pat's Dad was admitted to the hospital started out like any other Friday. It was just one month after Betty was born. I was, as usual, sleep deprived but happy. Pat called me from work like he usually does, but he had a bit of panic in his voice. He wanted me to call his dad to see if he was ok. His Dad had been feeling kind of weird the past month and wasn't acting like himself by not being able to talk as much as he usually does. That day, he thought something may have been really wrong with him, since his dad wasn't making out complete sentences and had just mentioned being let go from his job. When I talked to him, he seemed fine. However, while he was on the phone with Pat's Aunt, something about the way he was talking made her really scared for him.

Within the next couple of hours, the shit hit the fan. Pat's aunt was so worried about his Dad that she called an ambulance for him all the way from New York. The ambulance drivers ruled out a stroke or heart attack, but still couldn't explain why Pat's Dad couldn't talk right. By the time he was at the hospital for a couple of hours, his Dad couldn't even write or say his full name. After doing some tests, the doctors gave Pat and his brother a horrible prognosis. His dad had a Glioblastoma Multiforme, otherwise known as a Big Ass Brain Tumor! Of course, doctors have to give you an expiration timeline whenever the words "cancer" leave their lips, and he wasn't given a long one. 2 months without treatment. 1-5 years with treatment.

Pat was devastated. There was no rhyme or reason for this added chaos to our lives. Any way we tried to stack up the events based on the "worst thing about the situation", it was always bad any way we looked at it. Was the worst thing about it that Pat had also lost his Mom to a freak cancer 10 yrs ago? or that his Dad may never be the same again after the surgery? or that his Dad wouldn't have enough time to see Betty grow up or spend with his family? or that since his Mom and Dad got cancer before 60, both he and his brother may have the same fate?

It didn't take the doctors long to decide that they need to act immediately and remove as much of the tumor as they could. As the surgery progressed, Pat kept getting progress reports from the surgeons. Fortunately, they were able to remove a large portion of the tumor, only leaving a small part around his brain stem. The doctors were really positive about the whole ordeal, and seemed to lengthen his "timeline" every time they spoke to Pat. In the end, they said that the tumor they removed was the size of a GRAPEFRUIT! His Dad came out of the surgery, almost doing a 180 on his condition.

The weeks after that day are a blur to me. So many friends and family came to visit. It was sad that we were all reuniting because of Pat's Dad, but everyone was really happy to meet Betty. She was the silver lining in all of this. Since the surgery, Pat's Dad has been living with us, and is doing much better. He's retained all of his mobility and is getting better and better with his words. The doctors even gave him the ok to drive again. He's started his chemo treatments and a number of other meds. He's doing so well, that I often feel like this was some really awful joke that someone has played on us, just to see if we were all paying attention!

These situations always make you stop and wonder why? Why is God smiting us??? But it really has nothing to do with God. It's the way life was designed. Life could give a fuck about your feelings of comfort and stability. It wasn't designed for you to enjoy sunshine and happiness every day of your life. In fact, Life WANTS you to be unhappy. Why? BECAUSE IT BUILDS CHARACTER!!! Uncomfortable moments make you discover new things about yourself. Thus, rounding out the whole "human experience" and teaching you how to cope with these events....so you can live a longer LIFE!

Although I understand why these things happen, it does little to console me in dealing with how close together these life changing moments keep happening to me. After all, we DID just get married, AND buy a house, AND struggle through a job loss, AND have a BABY! If these things are designed to give me character, then I have enough to fill the cast of 4 crappy Lifetime movies! My life seems to be nothing but days upon weeks upon years of these moments, that I guess the day I'm done dealing with them is the day that I'm ready to die. Looks like I need to suck it up if I want to keep living! I feel the biggest lesson to be learned here is that my life will never be perfect or go as planned. I will always have to make the best of things as much as possible. After all, life is cyclical. There WILL be better days than this and I have a beautiful baby girl to take care of and laugh at when she craps all over herself in the cutest way possible!

That is worth living a crazy life more than anything else.

The Twilight of my Non-Parent Days

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:32:00 +0000

So, I thought that I would become this power preggo-blogger, and it has yet to happen. In actuality, I have become so busy with work and being pregnant that I have barely had time to even read other blogs, let alone write my own (except CuteOverload.com...fuzzy bunnies are more fun to laugh at than the fact that I peed my pants while sneezing!), let alone really concentrate on anything else. Normally, this situation would have REALLY bothered me, but I am now in the twilight of my Non-Parent Days, which basically means that I could really care less right now...kind of like how I turned 29 without even batting an eye at the fact that I am now in the "Golden Years" of my twenties!

Yes, gone are the days where I drank aimlessly into the wee hours of the morning. Gone are the days when I could out-drink a frat boy in a keg stand. Gone are the days when I could still pass as a seventeen year old (although I still get carded!). -and sadly, gone are the last aftershocks of experimental college life that almost seems so juvenile to me now (ouch! that just SOUNDS old).

It's hard to accept getting older, but at this stage in my life, gaining a different level of maturity seems right to me now. -But that doesn't mean that I don't still support altering your state of mind in order to gain a different point of view...Oddly enough, being pregnant keeps you in a such a state of preoccupation, that it's almost like being on drugs in itself. You're constantly looking at yourself and your life (and your body) differently, but the pleasure of it is all mental (except for the horny 2nd trimester!). It's a different high, though. - a "high on life moment" as cheesy as that sounds.

For example, Pat and I could be watching a commercial with a newborn baby in it, then realize that we both just teared up a little because we were both thinking about how awesome it feels to become a family. Then we both get a little wierded out that we were actually getting emotional about it. Becoming a family is trippy. Hell, just growing up in a family is trippy and now we are becoming the parental units that our kids will (hopefully) always love and wonder why the heck we are the way we are.

I kind of feel like this a "through the looking-glass" moment for us. Life as we know it will be totally different in a matter of weeks or even days and theres no turning back. I'm excited to see how our personalities as parents will shape up and also scared shitless at the same time. Am I going to lean towards being one of the neurotic 30 year olds that I was so afraid of becoming in my early 20's? Or am I going to retain as much of my youthful habits as I'd like to? What even defines that? -Making the time to make sure that I maintain an admirable intake of beer? -Retaining a respectable amount of tattoos? Do those things even define youth anymore? More importantly, is it bad that at this point I don't really give a fuck?

You really think when you're 14, looking at someone in their 20's and 30's that they've got something so much more figured out than you. In reality, at 29, sometimes I feel like I'm the same person I was at 14. I've just been through more random shit. I often wonder whether or not I'd make my 14 year-old self proud. Of course, I thought at 14 I'd have my own band, art in 10 galleries, and an entire body of tattoos by now. None of that shit has happened, but what the fuck did I know at 14? The only thing I really knew then was: Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans. -and that's exactly what's happened. Any day now a new life is going to start and this whole process of "what does it all mean" is going to begin all over again with our tiny, tiny girl. That seems so much more important than me trying answering any of life's great mysteries. Nothing makes sense more than her now.

No more Reading Rainbow :o(

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:43:00 +0000

While I'm on the subject of PBS, let's talk about me finding out today that Reading Rainbow is CANCELED!!!! (Although, I must confess that I thought it was canceled YEARS ago. How old is LeVar Burton???)

An article from USNews.com refers to an NPR interview that discusses how " the Department of Education is now funding literacy programs that teach kids how to read, not why to read, as Reading Rainbow did." Now, PBS is following suit and choosing not to put up the money to renew the show's broadcasting rights. How sad. Makes me wonder what my kids are going to watch on PBS besides Sesame Street now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6j8EiWIVZs&feature=player_embedded

ONE DECADE ANNIVERSARY - holy S***!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:02:00 +0000

Today's number is 10. Ten years ago today, Pat and I decided that it was a good idea to start dating. Were we crazy? Maybe. Were we naïve? Definitely. Are we still in love? Fo sheezay!

While I was thinking of my TOP 10 list of TOP 10 lists that I thought would be good for this post, I figured a "TOP 10 List of Sesame Street's Count to 10 Clips" was appropriate! -Since we are going to watch a shit ton of it in the near future. Oh, how I miss "old school" Sesame Street!!! So in honor of Pat and I's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 years together....Enjoy!

1-Classic Pinball Song - 10
I guarantee that you will be singing this song ALL DAY LONG!!!

2-Russian Dolls 10
Every time I see Nesting Dolls, I think of this clip!

3-John John Counts 10
This little kid is SO cuh-yoot! I'm in love with his Afro.

4-Classic 10 Song

5-Old School Baker 10

6- Grover Echo's 10

7-Jazzy 10

8- Mad Painter 10

9- James Earl Jones - Counts to 10
-a little intense, but when is he not? It's cool to see him so stinkin' young!!!

10- Super Creepy Techno Rubberband teaches us the number 10

This is proof that a LOT remnants of puppet/animator's acid trips made it to the small screen of Sesame Street!

Pregnancy = 9 months of PMS

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:54:00 +0000

Pregnant women: Check yourself 'forst thou wreck yourself.

I thought PMS was only part of my monthly visitor. Well, unlike my monthly visitor, PMS has decided to check IN for the duration of my pregnancy. I find it amusing that The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy devotes an entire chapter to "Pregnancy Insanity" and Googling "PMS + Pregnant" only offers a few web-sites with one paragraph about how "PMS-like" symptoms should dissipate during the second trimester. This does not apply to me. However Googling "Pregnancy + Insanity" will give you a years worth of reading. Why? -because pregnant women are insane!!! Yes, of course, this does apply to me.

If my experience on birth control was any precursor to my general emotional
state during pregnancy, then maybe I should have prepared myself better for
the nine total months of PMS I was about to have. Maybe I should have moved
to Nepal, became a master of meditation, then moved to a spa in the desert until the baby was born where stress and anxiety are not allowed. Instead, I
have done the opposite. I have packed more stress into this pregnancy than I
can possibly imagine dealing with without having the added craziness of having a small child invade my uterus and my brain: husband's job loss, moving out of a tyrannical landlord's house and buying a new one of my own (that may or may not fall apart at any second! -new homeowner jitters...), having my cat run away, working 40 hrs a week while devoting at least ten of those hours to yelling at Concast (I am up to 18 employees now!). Adding anything to top of this Pregnant/PMS Pyramid is enough to make me erupt like Mt. St. Helens! Take cover!!!

Pat unknowingly became part of a situation that set off said eruption and
triggered a response that has evoked aftershocks ever since. What was this
situation about? Brownies. Telling me how I could have avoided burning
brownies after I have burnt them was not a good idea. I repeat: NOT a good
idea! I was tired, pissed off, and the Scorpio Bitch that I keep in my back
pocket just waiting for these occasions leaped out, stomped on the floor,
and proceeded to badger Pat about the comment for the next hour....over
BROWNIES.

The next occasion was during a car ride around town while we were looking
for furniture. We were having a conversation that brought up an argument
that was never resolved (in my mind) and I immediately dug up the dormant
resentment and hostility that I had put to "rest" years ago. This argument
was over something from the "ancient past of Pat" that I had no business
resurfacing. -but me being pregnant and not capable of rational thought,
thought otherwise and let the fight drag on for the another couple of hours
AGAIN!

So am I clinically insane or just pregnant? Maybe both? Apparently I have
comrades in the good fight to keep sane while with child. I have read
stories about a woman who yelled at the guy at a sandwich shop over the fat
content of her sandwich. Another woman accused her husband of hiding her make-up because she couldn't find it in the car (it was under her seat).

Although it would have been better to focus my deranged, pregnant behavior
on a stranger instead of a loved one, reading these stories makes me feel
like less of a retard about my current bout with emotional retardation. I can see why people only skim the surface of pregnancy insanity in articles by only disguising it as a "mood swing". It's f'ing embarrassing!

It's been an integral part of my philosophy of womanhood to deny that insanity is even part of the definition of being a woman. (shh! I can hear you laughing!!!) Unfortunately, I am coming to terms with the idea that madness is a side effect of our motherly nature to "fixate" on things while pregnant. We must endure whatever it takes to provide for our little bun in the oven! For example: If I am thirsty, I am REALLY thirsty. If I need sleep, I'm REALLY tired. If I'm in the mood for Chinese food, YOU'D BETTER PASS THE CHOP STICKS! If you criticize my baking skills at an inopportune moment, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS! Of course, the beauty of all this is determining that the latter is not part of the actual, "get what I need" instinct. That's just pregnancy insanity!

I now feel obligated to accept that is they way I was designed to function and that I have to just accept that this is part of the total prego-package. I also have to accept that this is part of the changes that I will have to go through and that there's not really much I can do about this...(except exercise & eat better, neither of which seem much in comparison to the serenity that a couple of beers and cigarettes can bring! Beer, how I miss you!) As much as I'd like to blame God for this functional glitch, I have to revel in the fact that God also created Chocolate as a wonderful coping mechanism just for these moments. There is a Yin to every Yang after all!

Three Sheets is SAVED!!! Watch it on the Fine Living Network!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Since the demise of MOJO, I have been frustratingly without Three Sheets for a long time now. -But I didn't lose hope that it would be picked up by another network! I joined the rally to get more episodes out of Zane Lamprey and the Fine Living Network obliged. Now you can watch Three Sheets every week night on FLN. There's a bunch of repeats of oldies, but goodies and a few new fourth season episodes too! Like the Gibraltar episode:

Bizarre Death - Midget Luchadors killed by 65 yr old woman

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 11:00:00 +0000

For realz. My co-worker sent this to me and I died laughing! It's not the best written piece of journalism, but an interesting story nonetheless. Who could make this shit up?

Mexican midget wrestlers arrest

A woman has been arrested in Mexico over the deaths of two midget wrestlers - twin brothers - discovered in a hotel room last month.

Prosecutors allege she was one of two women who spiked the wrestlers' drinks with eye-drops as part of a robbery.

The 65-year-old woman denies the charges. The police said they were searching for her alleged accomplice, known as "The Fat One".

The wrestlers were part of the popular Lucha Mini wrestling circuit.

The brothers, Alejandro and Alberto Perez Jimenez, 35, fought under the names El Espectrito II ("The Little Ghost") and La Parkita ("Little Death"). Many professional Mexican wrestlers wear masks as part of their adopted characters.

'Big dose'

Prosecutors say the suspect met the two wrestlers in the centre of Mexico City and agreed to go back with them to their hotel room.

There, it is alleged, she and her friend put eye-drops into the brothers' alcoholic drinks.

Surveillance cameras showed the two women leaving the hotel. The suspect held by police was allegedly traced through calls made on one of the wrestlers' mobile phones.

The prosecutors say female gangs have been drugging men to rob them. The suspect and her accomplice, they allege, failed to take into account the wrestlers' small stature, and gave them too big a dose.

She admits meeting the wrestlers but denies drugging or killing them, telling prosecutors she stayed in their hotel room for just 20 minutes.

I hope they find "The Fat One"!

Acoustic Guitar is just more interesting

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:00:00 +0000

I'm seeing a trend here. There are two movies that I reeeeely want to see: Paper Heart and Where the Wild Things Are

Both of them have really great trailers! -But of course, they are two very different films. One film is a random indie film (although I am fastly becoming a fan of Charlene Yi -She's part Filipino, you know!) and the other is going to be a children's movie classic (Spike Jonze, you are my hero)! The common thread between them is that they both have great acoustic guitar background music, which automatically means that these will be awesome films! Why is this so intriguing? -Because it's so 90's INDIE, which is now SO mainstream 2000's, man! Just think of Juno's trailer! or Darjeeling Limited's trailer! I guess because acoustic guitar is so much more intimate and makes you feel more naturally inclined to relax, this helps the viewer feel more emotionally sympathetic towards the movie's subject matter. That's my scientific assessment. HA! I'm sure it has something to do with the actual producers wanting to get people like me (and my kids) to watch their films too. Well, IT'S WORKING! :o)

Not convinced? Look at what this type of music is doing (or not doing) for the resort industry. Swimming in the Bahamas is just more interesting with acoustic rock, especially foul distortions of Moldy Peaches songs!

Petition to have Comcast change their name to "ConCast"

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:26:00 +0000

There's a reason why Comcast was voted the 2nd worst company in the US by Consumerist.com. I can think of think of 14 reasons why. That's because 14 is the amount of Concast employees that I have spoken to to get the bogus transfer of my services to my new address “resolved”. Let's review:

Call 1- I called to transfer my service to my new address. I also griped that I was paying more for the service than what other people I know do, and got our monthly bill lowered for another year. Thanks, Concast! I also asked to have Concast install 3 wall outlets. We scheduled an installation from 11-2.

Call 2 - I called to complain that technician scheduled to install our service was not "qualified" to do that kind of installation. (He says this after he fishes around our attic) He told us that a supervisor was going to come in the afternoon to finish the job and I wanted to verify that was actually happening.

Concast employee 2’s response: Well, if he said he's got someone coming to your house, he should come out.

Call 3 - I called to complain that the SUPERVISOR said he will NOT come out, because there is a rule that they can not be in the attic after 11 AM. Therefore, it would be against protocol to finish the job as scheduled. What now? Can we reschedule our 3 wall mounts?

Concast employee 3’s response: No. You were never scheduled for 3 wall mounts, only 1 floor install. You can only schedule 2 wall mount installations per call and if you want a third, you'll have to wait until the work order is closed before you can schedule another one.

Me: Great! Thanks for nothing! Let’s schedule another 2 for another day.

Call 4 – I called to say that the SECOND technician showed up and said that he was ALSO unaware that he was going to do 2 wall mounts. -but he was coming back....

Concast employee 4’s response: Well if he said he was going to come back then he should come back.

-So, the Concast Contractor (For those of you who don’t know. Concast uses non-Concast companies to do their installations sometimes) comes, hangs out in the attic, crawls around in the crawl-space, then ultimately decides that he A) doesn’t have the right size cable and B) doesn’t have the right size drill bit. So, C) he will have to look around to see if the right size cable shows up. That evening, there was still no cable. The technician told me that he was going to come back in the morning at 9 AM.

At 11 the technician finally shows up with the right cable, but wouldn’t you know it? HE STILL DOESN’T HAVE THE RIGHT DRILL BIT! So, I lieu of having ANOTHER Concast technician come out, we told him to install the cable through the floor. -Our brand spanking, not even a month old, new hardwood floors.
The cable and internet got installed, but wouldn’t you know it AGAIN!? The technician didn’t have the right cable box that we ordered. So at 8:30 PM that night, the technician finally arrived with the right box, we gave him our old box and all was right in cable/internet land...for now.

Five days later, I checked online to make sure that our billing was correct online at Concast’s website. Lo and behold! There was a $308 bill staring back at me. Apparently, there was a $248 charge for UNRETURNED EQUIPMENT.

Call 5 - I called to figure out why I have a bill for $308???? And why do I have a charge for “unreturned equipment?? I need to speak with a manager

Concast employee 5’s response: Well, I may be able to help you. It looks like the equipment is labeled as missing. The work order that the technician started for you was not closed out. It still shows that it’s open.

Me: Well, we already have our equipment installed, so why is it still open? We returned our old box to the technician? Why can’t you just label it as found?

CLICK! I got cut off. THANKS T-MOBILE!!! I curse your wireless network of lies!

Call 6 - I just got cut off. I called to figure out why I have a bill for $308???? And why do I have a charge for “unreturned equipment?? I need to speak with a manager.

Concast employee 6’s response: Well, I may be able to help you. Your equipment is still listed as missing. I can only issue a request to investigate where the box is.

Me: I was told that the work order wasn’t closed what about that?

Concast employee 6’s response: Well, I don’t know why he didn’t close it out. It may be because you have another technician scheduled to come out this Wednesday at 8-11 AM.

Me: WHAAT!? I never authorized that. In fact I was told that I wasn’t even allowed to schedule another wall mount until the first work order was closed. So, are you saying that because this technician hasn’t turned in our equipment, we are going to be charged for his screw up??

Concast employee 6’s response: I never said that. If you returned it, you shouldn’t be charged. I’ll put in a request to find out what happened to the box and cancel the work order for Wednesday. Your account should be fine now.

Call 7 – I’m calling to complain that my bill is still $308 because of unreturned equipment that I actually had returned to the technician. I also just got a call from Concast saying that I still have a technician scheduled to come out to my house tomorrow. I cancelled this on Sunday. Why hasn’t it been cancelled? I need to speak with a manager or supervisor.

Concast employee 7’s response: Maybe I can help you. Well, the equipment is still listed as missing and we don’t have any record of there being a cancellation of this service.

Me: Well, I called on Sunday to have all of this resolved. What happens now?

Concast employee 7’s response: I will have the work order cancelled. I need my supervisor to speak with you.

30 mins later. Concast employee 7’s response: My supervisor can’t speak with you now. He’s leaving in 20 mins. So, he will definitely call you back soon.

GUESS WHAT!? He never called.

Call 8 – same shpeal as above.

Concast employee 8’s response: I will have the work order cancelled. I will also call you tomorrow with an update of where your box is.

GUESS WHAT!? SHE never called.

Call 9 – I called to say that I cancelled a work order that I never authorized both Sunday and yesterday, but this morning I got a call from a technician at my house wondering why I wasn’t there! I need to speak with a manager or supervisor.

Concast employee 9’s response: Well, the work order was never cancelled. I can get you to a manager.

Concast employee 9/Supervisor 1’s response : Your work order has been cancelled. I also show that the old box in en route to the warehouse.

Me: So, my service is back to normal? And I won’t be charged for the box?

Concast employee 9/Supervisor 1’s response : No, you won’t be charged for the box. You just cancelled your service.

Me: No I did not! I should have my Digital preferred package and internet.

Concast employee 9/Supervisor 1’s response : OK your service should be ok now.

Call 10 – I’m calling to say that I don’t have HBO anymore. I was told that this was part of my package.

Concast employee 10’s response: Well, I’ll restart your cable box and let me know if that works.

Me: Um, no.

Concast employee 10’s response: Ok, well we’ll have to send out another technician to see if there’s something wrong with your box.

Me: What do you mean!? It was working last night! I think something got screwed up when that supervisor “reinstated” my service.

Concast employee 10’s response: You’re right. It doesn’t show that you should be getting HBO at all. Let me transfer you to sales.

Concast employee 11’s response: Yes, you should have HBO let me have my supervisor speak with you.

30 mins. Later, Concast hung up on me.

Call 11 – I just got cut off. I was on hold to speak with a supervisor.

Concast employee 12’s response: Oh! Let me find you one. Pls. hold.
Concast employee 12’s response: I found one! She just needs to step away from her desk for a moment. Can I ask the gist of your problem?

Me: Yes, I’m supposed to have HBO, and trouble-shooting says that it’s not on my list of services.

Concast employee 12’s response: Oh! That’s simple. I’ll just add it back on....Is it working now?

Me: Yes! Thanks!

Call 12 – I called to say that my internet is not working.

Concast employee 13’s response: Ok I will just have to reinstate your modem. Is it working?

Me: Yes! Thanks

Call 13 - I called to say that my bill still says that my equipment has not been returned. A supervisor had told me yesterday that it was en route to the warehouse.

Concast employee 14’s response: It does not show that the equipment has been returned or that it is en route to the warehouse, but if the supervisor told you that then you should give it a few days to process.

Me: Great. Thanks.

So, as of right now. I am still fit for the bill of my lost equipment. Cancel my service you say? Why? THEY ARE THE ONLY BROADBAND INTERNET PROVIDER IN STONE MOUNTAIN,GA!!!???? AUAAUGH!!!!

Have your own Concast story to tell? Join the masses of Comcast haters here at http://customer-circus.com/.
You can also post your complaints! I did! :o) Or just want to hate on Comcast some more!? Visit http://comcastsucks.org/,cos it just does.

Would you like it if Comcast changed their name to CONCast?

poll by twiigs.com

Searching for the Tao of Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:27:00 +0000

I've always admired the Winnie the Pooh phrase, "there's a certain something", because life is full of "certain somethings". To me, these are moments where you know something important is going on, but just can't put your finger on how to describe it because it's so new or you're in a very weird phase of your life. That's kind of where I am right now. We're moving into our new house, Pat's looking for work, I'm fastly becoming an exploding mom! ;o) There's a lot of unsettlement and redefining moments that I feel compelled to deal with.

By default, the way I deal with new, troubling situations is to beat an idea or situation to death by learning everything I can about it inside and out. That way I can choose which way I want to approach it. This is an integral part of my hidden Type A personality that I like to keep in the basement level of my brain, behind a large curtain where the rest of my brain thinks is just a storage place for bad memories of the 2nd grade, but is really the control center of EVERYTHING I do!

That being said, I've been reading a lot of mom blogs and there are MANY to choose from. There are some professionals out there! So professional that even Oprah had them on her show!

Heather Armstrong of Dooce was on too! I started reading Dooce a long time ago, and was excited to start reading it more often, because I'm going to be a mom now too. However, it only made me pissed off. I started to get jealous of the fact that she had 600 comments per post. Her blog supports her family (read that as $40,000 per MONTH). Shit. I want to do that! Alas, I am not as interesting as recovering Mormon, alcoholic, and nut-job (she was hospitalized for severe post-partum depression).

Anyway, I digress... After reading many of these "Mom Blogs" my, secessionist nature kicked in. I found that I didn't agree with a lot of what I was reading and it was depressing me. Although I'm sure that it was just the random blogs I was reading or something, it made me feel alone. There are so many schools of thought of how children should be raised or how women should compose themselves as mothers and role models. It's mind numbing to try to attach yourself to one or two ways of thinking or consider one better than the other. I have come to terms with the fact that I may never share someone else's exact same view on what motherhood means or how to raise my kids.

The thing is that I can search for all I can for answers to prepare myself for being a growing vessel for my kid and a faithful leader as he or she grows, but in end, none of that is going to matter. Essentially, what I've learned from entering this phase of my life is that there is no right or wrong way to approach motherhood. You can only go by what feels natural to you, no matter how extreme it may be. One of the definitions of Tao in Wikipedia sums this feeling up well:

Tao is undifferentiated
All distinctions are actually relative comparisons bound together by their mutual reference. Thus (chapter 2) there is no such thing as 'long' except by comparison to 'short' and vice-versa; there is no such thing as 'being' except by comparison to 'non-being'. Because Tao itself has no shape or size, all comparisons fall within it, so there can never be 'real' differences. Often this is used to suggest a neutral, giving attitude...

Houses and Jobs and Babies - OH MY!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 22:24:00 +0000

To pick up where I left off, Pat and I were in the midst of dating some houses and having a monstrous time finding anything we liked. After dating three that seemed like winners, we finally decided to make a commitment to one and marry the house! -for at least a few years, then divorce it when we get tired of it! We ended up looking in a neighborhood that's only a smidge OTP, right outside I-285 on the border of Stone Mountain and Decatur. Yes, that's right, we're moving OTP. Duh-Dah-DUUUHH!!!!!

Looking in those neighborhoods was like a trip to the Final Frontier on the verge of the unknown! We've been so ITP, that how people exist outside of I-285 is such a mystery to us! Realistically, the neighborhood that we settled on is only a few minutes away from the house that we originally put an offer on, and only ten minutes away from where we live now. So, it may be the Final Frontier, but not that far from areas that we've been living in for years! We were really surprised to find a diverse selection of houses that were huh-yuge! There was one house that looked GORGEOUSLY quirky from the pictures. It had a giant cactus and succulent terrarium adjacent to the sink in the kitchen, a Lord of the Rings-worthy fireplace, and even had a "secret room" (or "grow room" -hee!) that could be accessed from one of the bedrooms. Although these things made this a very intriguing house, there were a multitude of problems. -mostly stemming from the fact that all of the "improvements" seemed to be done after hanging out in the "Secret Room". ;o)

BEHOLD the mighty cactus and succulent terrarium!

Pat: "Dude! I think I found the entrance to the secret room!
Our Realtor: "Where? Oh my gosh! It IS a secret room!"

Regina: "Um, you KNOW they grew weed in here. Right?"

The house that we ultimately fell in love with was an updated 60's ranch that was just waiting for our touch of retro! Ironically, it was just down the street from the "secret room" house. It was owned by a general contractor, so the improvements made to the house were actually improvements! The only thing we had to do to make us happy was install wood floors and gutters and paint! The seller even went down almost ten grand in price the same day we put in an offer. So far, so good! Right?

Our house! -more on that later...

Then the shit hit the fan. Everything was going well with the house. The seller agreed to fix everything we wanted him to fix. We had just got all of our loan info together and were just going to get the house appraised when I got a call from Pat. He got laid off! Poor guy! He had been working at this company for six months, just got a raise, then got dropped like a hot potato. No two weeks notice, no severance package, no "Well, we may be able to hire you on again when things are good." -just a severance letter that would allow him to collect unemployment. Fuckin' economy! I totally freaked out and told Pat that we should call off buying the house, but after some MAJOR forethought, we decided to put the house in my name. Luckily, the payments were still going to be manageable on my income and our interest rate wasn't going to be much higher. We were so relieved that we had dodged that another bullet! We joked to all of our friends saying, "Well at least I'm not pregnant!"........I should watch what I say in the future.

One week later, Pat and I decided to go "Apocalypse Shopping" at Walmart for some frozen and canned goods and such. We were kinda freaking out and figured it would be a good time to stock up, since we were NEVER going to leave the house again! I was walking through the Feminine Needs aisle when I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had my monthly visitor. I have an irregular cycle anyway, so I chalked it up to stress and the possibility that I was having a 40 day cycle. Just to be sure, we bought some pregnancy tests anyway. I had been off the pill for almost a year and was taking a test every few months. So, I didn't really think much about this particular test. I "prepared" it and set it on the tub. 5 minutes later, I took a look at the test and there were no lines! I was about to get totally pissed that I had bought some cheap, crappy tests when I realized that that my dumb-ass was looking at the wrong side. I flipped the test over and two bright pink lines were staring back at me! Ironically, the only thing that could sedate me was watching Baby Boom, that silly 80's movie with Diane Keaton, on OnDemand . I had to watch someone get thrown into motherhood and come out on top! -even if it was a fictional movie that didn't make a lick sense. Has anyone ever noticed that the baby in that movie NEVER grows up while her mom builds her baby food empire!? Oh the 80's....I digress.

Later, I went to the doctor and discovered that I was, in fact, pregnant! -8 weeks, to be exact! We even heard the heart beat already. Here is a picture of our little nugget:

Ah, the miracle of life!

So, that's just this month! Who knows what will happen next. So, the kid wasn't exactly planned, but that's kinda how we were wanting to have one anyway. We always said we'd welcome the "mistake" child. The more we thought of our situation, the more we realized that the only thing we didn't plan was Pat getting laid off! Plus, I've got to be proud of my kid for having my comedic timing, entering into existence at an inopportune moment! If I've learned anything from this experience, it's that I should appreciate the irony that exists in my life. I used to think that all of the shit that happens to me is because of some Karmic Debt that I have occurred (maybe it still is), but I've gotten to a point where I don't feel like God is smiting me anymore. -and I'm happy about that! In the end, nothing really matters, as long as you've got people who care about you and you have people to care about!

Rejina

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Fri, 01 May 2009 16:37:00 +0000

I would never, ever require Pat to tattoo my name on himself. Although, if he did, I hope it looks nothing like this:

Click HERE for the original post.

I'm really glad that Pat has awesome taste in Tattoos and I'll never have to discover this monstrosity!!! :o) You can find more bad and ugly tattoos HERE at the Horrible Tattoos blog.

Where Black People and White People buy Furniture

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Fri, 01 May 2009 10:45:00 +0000

My friend (who's Black) e-mailed this to me (who's Asian) and my husband (who's White) laughed until we were blue (not really)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnOyMSEWNTs

Sounds totally fake,right? I shit you not, this is a REAL company out of North Carolina!!! I don't really know how they got affiliated with this online comedy duo, Rhett & Link, but it's AWESOME that they did!

Buying a house is like dating online...

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:43:00 +0000

Pat and I have been looking for a house to buy for what seems to be an eternity. We have a decent chunk of change squirreled away and figured, "Hey! Everyone says NOW is the time to buy!" So why not? So we jumped in with both feet and started looking at houses. Just like planning a wedding, no one ever talks about how much looking for your first house can suck....badly. Everyone's eyes glaze over when you're a newlywed and you mention that you're buying your first house. Automatically, images pop into their heads of an emerald green lawn with 2.5 children and a giant, drooling Golden Retriever playing on it, while you and your husband are planting flowers and shit next to your giant-ass house. Hell, that's what pops into mine thanks to that damn American TV (except my beautiful Pit Mix replaces the Golden!)! Then reality sets in...

After scoping out the Atlanta/Decatur housing market for months, we came to the realization that we're just not getting that "American Dream-house" in our price range! In the city, we can only afford a house that's a quarter of the size of what we want, but that's what buying a first house is all about right? Compromise. Could we trade living in a 1,600 sq. ft. house for one that's 995 sq. ft.? Could we buy a house that has more space, but needs a LOT of work? Could we buy a house that's perfect, but happens to be right next door to a crack house? Eh????

While we mull over these questions, we look online for houses, which is blinding when you see 500 at a time. Photos that look promising, rarely represent what the house is like in real life. It's like looking at photos of people on online dating sites. You find a someone that looks promising, then realize upon meeting that he has severe halitosis, has no conversation skills, chews with his mouth open and forgets his wallet at home! However, sometimes you do get lucky on those dating websites. Eventually, we did find a house we were smitten with and the house was even better than the pictures! BUT, when it came to the negotiation process, we found out that the sellers were really snobby and weren't willing to haggle. I was told that they were waiting for a person to come along who just got a huge inheritance that was willing to pay cash for the full asking price! FAT CHANCE, losers! The ironic thing is that three days after I heard that, a man who just inherited a large sum of money offered them cash for the full price! Coincidence? I think not!

Well, maybe it’s not the house, it’s us? Maybe we and the houses are just not compatible! I’ve been delving deep into Numerology lately and I’m kind of pissed that I have. There’s a kind of snobbery involved with reading this shit. Like, “we don’t get along because our signs don’t match!” What I’ve been finding is that all of the houses I like are all numbers that I think I’ll be incompatible with. For instance, one house that I really like is a 5 house on a 5 street. 5’s are typically temporary dwellings and lack direction, which are things that I don’t really need right now!

AUUGH!

All of this crap has made me come to the decision that buying a house really IS like dating online and I’ve been dating all the houses I’ve seen. It’s like I’ve been single and have been on so many bad dates, that I’ve convinced neurotic-self that there’s no “house-love” for me out there. But, there are many fish in the sea, right? I guess the saying can apply to houses too!

Aphex Twin - Avril 14th Guitar version

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:31:00 +0000

WOW! I've been away from my blog for so long, that I totally didn't realize how fucking angry my last post was. Anyway, I found this video of one of my favorite Aphex Twin songs, that was on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack. (If you haven't seen this movie, you must rent it NOW! Sophia Coppola is a genius!)

Laura Ingram, you are a douche!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:10:00 +0000

Just when I think I don't have any more political shit to make fun of, Laura Ingram opens her mouth! I think it's hilarious that the RNC is having such a bruised ego fest, that they have to one up each other on blasting whoever speaks out about how poorly some of it's members carry themselves.

The fact that Megan McCain even had the balls to go on the Rachel Maddow show is awesome. The fact that she had the chutzpah to call Anne Coulter "offensive, radical, insulting, and confusing all at the same time" in an article for the Daily Beast AND she's McCain's daughter is compelling evidence to me that there is a bright side to the Republican party.
-despite their recent foibles. Especially when the woman knows no reason at all!

-but why this?

Listen to Laura Ingram's Comments HERE.

Frankly, I would respect more of the RNC if it were less extreme. Shit! I'd think that people would be more happy if the women who represented the RNC was less f'ing BULLDOG and more "respectable lady". Hell, wouldn't that demeanor be more freakin' Christian and CONSERVATIVE!? I understand that Megan's comments about the ladies of the RNC could be construed as personal attacks, but come on. Hitting the muffin top is like hitting below the belt when Laura Ingram responds by making fun of Megan McCain's weight. The sad thing is that it's upsetting, but not surprising. You can't taunt an attack dog an expect to not get bit!

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - Cute Emo Jumpy Deux

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Click HERE for the original image.

Click HERE for the original image.

http://jumpyweddingphotowednesday.blogspot.com/

Fat-tacular!

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Most people have a few groupings of foods that they won't eat. I on the other hand, belong to the "eatusallyoucanuntilyougetreallyfullious" breed of people, which usually doesn't discriminate food-wise! Although, I don't think I love food that much to EVER consume anything of this fat magnitude:

Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich

Turbaconucken

Deed Fried S’more On A Stick

Deep Fried Peanut Butter-Covered Brownie Wrapped In Cookie Dough

Mega Double Stuff Oreo

Find more of these fatteous monstrosities on thisiswhyyourefat.com.

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - This is not a jump

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Click HERE for the original image.

-but he's thinking about it! :o)

http://jumpyweddingphotowednesday.blogspot.com/

Muddy Elephants and Time Travel

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I've been feeling kind of stuck lately in all areas of my life. I've noticed a sharp decline in my motivation to do anything, whether it's drawing, sewing, or writing (which explains the serious lack of posts!). As I've written before, when I'm struggling with something, my brain often gives me a sharp kick in the face in the form of a crazy symbolic dream.

Last night, I got another kick in the face. Here's what I dreamt:

Pat and I were in a different time frame, back in our college years (man, that makes us sound really fuckin' old!). I guess that we kind of knew that we were just re-visiting a time period, because we both thought we were in an odd situation. The even weirder thing was that we were driving around in my Scion and it was some kind of weird time machine that could change shape! When we got out of the car, it would shrink down to be small enough to fit in our pockets. Then sometimes we'd be driving inside a building, through hallways and when we were too big to go through, we'd tell the car to shrink itself, and magically we'd fit!

At some point of the dream, we had come to an intersection where there was a lot of commotion. It was really dark out and some elephants had escaped from the circus. Every single one of them, even the little baby elephant was trapped and smothered in mud. Even though there were a lot of people around to help them, they seemed really hopeless.

That image alone was the one that stuck with me the most when I woke up. I found some interesting insight in the Dream Dictionaries that I looked up.

Elephant
To see an elephant in your dream, signifies that you are laying a solid groundwork for wealth and success. You hold a position of honour and dignity. If the elephant was wild or untamed, than it indicates tyranny and uncontrollable forces. To see many elephants in your dream, symbolizes tremendous prosperity, strength, power, memory, and intellect. Elephants also possess an introverted nature which may describe your personality. To dream that you are feeding an elephant, denotes that you will elevate yourself in your community through your kindness. To dream that you are riding on the elephant, signifies good news from afar and your future travel plans will be fruitful. But to dream that you fell off while riding it, signifies that enemies are looking to harm you.

Mud
-To dream that you walk in mud, denotes that you will have cause to lose confidence in friendships, and there will be losses and disturbances in family circles. To see others walking in mud, ugly rumors will reach you of some friend or employee. To the farmer, this dream is significant of short crops and unsatisfactory gains from stock. To see mud on your clothing, your reputation is being assailed. To scrape it off, signifies that you will escape the calumny of enemies.
-Plans or conditions obscured by mud or muddied waters indicate emotional indecision. Solutions or new directions may become clear by washing away mud from shoes or a roadway.
-You or your car being stuck in the mud can represent feeling unable to make progress or make changes in your life, or feeling stuck in a certain situation, or feeling that you're "stuck in a rut" somehow.

College
To dream that you are in college, indicates that you are going through some social or cultural changes. It also suggests that now is a good time for you to experiment and try new things. If you had gone to college in your past, then also consider your personal experiences and memories of your college days. However, if you are currently in college, then it may be a reflection of your current surroundings. It may also represent stress.

Shit! That's a lot to think about!

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - "Man, it's cold!" Jumpy

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Click HERE for the original image.

Click HERE for the original image.

http://jumpyweddingphotowednesday.blogspot.com/

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - Mary Poppins Jumpy

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:00:00 +0000

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Ask the Facebook Etiquette Guru

noreply@blogger.com (Regina) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 12:00:00 +0000

While we're on the subject of social networking, let's talk about Facebook etiquette! I stumbled upon this blog the other day: "Practising a Proper Social Demeanour:A Guide To Facebook Etiquette -The rules for surviving the digitally connected world", written by Dr Mariann Hardey. It's quite an interesting read, especially when one is questioning why they joined in the first place! As she gives advice about the young and the restless' qualms with online decorum, I no longer feel alone in my battle to understand what IS socially accepted on Facebook. Like, How do I approach Friend Farmers (See definition below)?

Answer:
Friends and friendships are vital to Social Networking Sites (SNS), without them you simply would not be linked up, ‘in the know’ nor have anything to read and distract you from during your morning, lunch and tea breaks. It is the height of rudeness then when once you have ‘recommenced’ a friendship with someone that they do not reply to your ‘social nicety’ query. Naturally people will gravitate toward one another on SNS’s, sadly not because you ARE the most witty, intelligent, charming individual in the pack, but you are ‘known’ to one another and who wouldn’t want to be part of such a mutual connection...
Read the rest of the post HERE!

Hmm! [puts finger in chin]

I also like that her approach to Facebook is from a sociological standpoint. Here are some of her Key aspects of social networking from her "Theory of Facebook":

Cheerleader
Typically over-buff in profile image, more photos than friends (both totalling over 1000s though!). Limited information about 'education' and 'work'. Other than looking pretty. Less interested in what their Facebook friends are doing and more compelled by the latest wallpost from another buff body.

Friend-farmers
User whose more natural territory is MySpace. Still at school the aim is to achieve friend status target of the alloted 5000.

Exposed
The type of person who is always online, always has updated their status update in the last ten seconds, always the first to accept invitations. Their life is there in all its glory, and only obscured by periods of cache time outs, broadband malfunction or lack of wireless. Of course then they are surfing via their iphone.

Poke battles
This is similar with how we behaved when we were back at school and in the playground. So when you had a crush on someone ignoring them and pulling their hair were prime indicators you thought they were cute! The poke is a bit like a signal that says ''hi' i'm here', but can also stand in for 'i think you're really cute, but can't think of a wall post/message etc to captivate your attention'.

To read the original post, click HERE!