And God Created the Black Debutante...

Monogram my A.S.S.

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 16 May 2012 05:14:00 +0000

I've always loved the idea of having monogrammed things. Shirts, weekly planners, cell phone cases, totes- you name it I've wanted it but due to a snafu concerning my initials I've had to forgo wearing anything monogrammed. You see way back when I was given the name Anetra Shivon Smith. Yes that's right. My initials are A.S.S. In the monogram world your last name or family name is in the center. So either way my initials are A.S.S. Around the age of six my mom asked me if I wanted to change my middle name to Watkins (her maiden name). At six Anetra Shivon Smith sounds WAY COOLER than Anetra Watkins Smith. Looking back I should have thought that through a little more. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love my name and the initials A. and S. but there's no way I'm walking around town with A.S.S. stamped across my chest. At this point in my life I am attached to my middle name so there's no going back but I think this is yet another reason I should get married. I want monogrammed THINGS! Now I know some of you are saying why not just do two letters. Those monograms aren't as cute. That's why. I do have a lot of A things around my room and on my keychain, etc but I want the three letters. Where is my prince charming with a last name that doesn't start with S?!

After much thought I decided to embrace my initials and enter Prep In Your Step's Monogram Necklace Giveaway. I love the look of this Marinette Jewelry necklace and hope I win!!! Check out Prep In Your Step's blog for all things preppy! http://prepinyourstep.blogspot.com

Happy Mother's Day Ma!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Sun, 13 May 2012 14:40:00 +0000

Just wanted to tell my mom Happy Mother's Day (for the third time today)! You've been the best mom I could ever ask for. You love unconditionally, listen to my crazy discussions, nurture my dreams, make the best travel buddy and give GREAT handbags among other things. Can't wait to celebrate you with church, presents and dinner.

Love,
Anetra Shivon

Derby Days

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:08:00 +0000

Paula Patton

The Kentucky Derby is this weekend and there are several reasons why I love watching. The tradition is one but my main reason is the fashion. As you might have noticed from my Instagram and Facebook pics the women in my family love hats. I have decided that I won't wear a hat until I'm 40 but trust me I'm looking forward to it. Every year I say I'm going to the Kentucky Derby and I never make it. One day this will happen!

Wearing a hat to the Kentucky Derby is believed to bear good luck. The long-established fashion was started by the women, however, over the last few years, many men have taken part in the tradition as well. From the fantastic to the sublime, there are no rules or limits. In the clubhouse and paddock, women of grace and taste sport classy, fashionable styles. In the infield, the headwear has tendancy to take on a flashier tone.

When the Kentucky Derby was first held at the Churchill Downs racetrack in Louisville, Ky., 137 years ago, hats were all the rage and regarded as an essential everyday accessory -- for those who could afford them. At special events such as the horse races, women wore fancy and extravagant hats to broadcast their social status and show off their expensive style. Men simply wore top hats.

Over the years, the Churchill Downs hat tradition has remained for women and continues to be a Kentucky Derby staple. Although women aren't required to wear a hat to the races, most do. One common theme among Kentucky Derby hats is roses, since the race is known as the "run for the roses" because the winning horse receives a blanket made of more than 500 of the blossoms.

Take a look and let me know- What's your favorite look for the Kentucky Derby?

We're 13!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Thu, 03 May 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Happy 13th AKAversary to my line sisters "The Firm". I love y'all!

Notre Dame Signing Day 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 02 May 2012 14:00:00 +0000

While I was away from the blog my job assignments got a bit more interesting. On February 1, 2012 I, along with twelve other producers were sent to colleges around the country to produce sixteen hours of National Signing Day coverage for ESPNU. As a college football fan I was elated. I realized I could mark that off my college bucket list. It was a place I'd never been and never had a reason to go.

As a producer most of my work is done before the shoot. I landed in South Bend on Monday to map out my plan for the Wednesday shoots. Tuesday Bob and I met with the SID Brian Harden and Head Coach Brian Kelly. Both men were gracious and gave us important information leading up to signing day. On Wednesday morning the coaches weren't expecting any surprises and had high hopes for their class. My morning began with a 6:00 am crew call to feed shoots of Notre Dame scenics back to ESPNU. Around 7:00am we were allowed access into the war room where Coach Kelly and his assistants were being contacted by players committing to Notre Dame. Then the coverage began. The 16 hour show was accented by live shots at 13 different schools. As the day went on they would come to Bob and I over headset and he would tell them the vibe of the schools and what recruits had committed.

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish fared well in the process, grabbing 16 commitments from some top talent around the nation. Despite missing out on wide receivers Nelson Agholor and Deontay Greenberry, the Irish still managed to rake in the top 25 class in the nation. The biggest surprise of the day was Greenberry who chose Houston on Wednesday morning. Notre Dame's 17-man class seemed all but set entering the day, but Greenberry changed that with the last-minute decision. Having his cousin, Tee Shepard, already enrolled at Notre Dame certainly made that more surprising. Greenberry was the state of California's best wide receiver and somebody the Irish were counting on to play early and often with the departure of Michael Floyd. All was not lost as Notre Dame managed to pull in the number two overall player and Columbus (Ind.) quarterback Gunner Kiel and Greenberry's cousin, cornerback Tee Shepard. While disappionted with Greenberry's decicion Kelly remained upbeat and dedicated to the players he did sign. "It is hard for me to feel disappointed about something I have never had, or someone I have never coached," Kelly said. "I'm more excited about the 16 who did sign."

This 16 includes the aforementioned Five-star quarterback Gunner Kiel and top 100 cornerback Tee Shepard, as well as receivers Chris Brown and Justin Ferguson, along with the five defensive backs added at a need position.

Overall my experience at Notre Dame was awesome. The live shots went well, the weather was great for February in Indiana, and the Irish were wonderful hosts. Hopefully I can return for an actual football game.

***In March it was announced that Tee Shepard was no longer enrolled at Notre Dame and had returned to Fresno, CA.***

Notice Served!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:00:00 +0000

From the Born Again Church Facebook Page: "What do you do when the choice between your dreams and your family is a life or death decision? Mark is a talented musician who left his family several years ago to pursue a career. He is home to visit ONLY for his mother’s funeral…in which he missed because he was too late…and his career is not going as he expected…and his children have no one to raise them. Their mother left years before Mark. But one thing is keeping Mark home…that one thing can build his career OR build his family. He can have that one thing…based on ONE condition from his mother."

On Friday night I went to see my Aunt Wanda perform in her church production of Grave Notice. Grave Notice is the tale of Mark who has been away from his family for the past few years pursuing his music career. He left behind his parents, children, and Aunt. While he was away his father passed and his children experienced hardship due to abandonment, anger, promiscuity, and violence. He returns to his family home hours after his mother has been buried. While Mark is planning his future with his mother's estate Satan and his demons begin plotting for the family's soul. Satan plans to use the Greed Demon to attack Mark, the Whoredom Demon to attack Mark's 17 year old son Marcus, and the Despair Demon to attack Mark's 15 year old daughter Tracy. My Aunt played Mother Lester, a church member and friend of Mark's aunt who comes to the house to pray the demons out.

Written by Born Again's Bishop Horace Hockett the played reminded me of one of my favorite books The ScrewTape Letters by CS Lewis. I enjoyed the play and was pleasantly surprised that although it had a serious message there were comedic moments through out. Y'all know I like to laugh. I had many favorite moments in the play but I must say the demons, portrayed by Ira Watterson, Roger Trent, and Debbie Powell, played their parts perfectly. Another favorite was the scene where Auntie calls on her prayer warriors (including my aunt) and they sing a rousing rendition of "Satan We're Gonna Tear Your Kingdom Down". Overall the acting was superb, the set was awesome, and the music was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Titans 2012 VIP NFL Draft Party

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Last night Ma and I risked our fresh hairdo's in this intense Tennessee humidity and headed to LP Field. In appreciation of their Club Members, the Tennessee Titans host a special NFL Draft Party at the stadium every year. The party featured complimentary food from Logan’s Roadhouse, giveaways, locker room tours, on-field games and activities, appearances by T-Rac and the Titans Cheerleaders, and autograph stations with Titans players! Since I lived in Illinois my uncle and cousins have gone the past few years but this year it was my turn!

After wading through the sea of people we got our food and settled into the Club Level lounge to watch the action. I definitely liked watching the draft with hundreds of Titans fans. Everyone was decked out in their Tennessee best.

With the 20th pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, the Tennessee Titans selected Baylor wide receiver Kendall Wright. I was expecting defense but as you know the Titans front office NEVER LISTENS TO ME!!!!! I wanted CB Dre Kirkpatrick but he was scooped up by the Bengals three picks before we even had a chance. Wright was a go-to target for Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III at Baylor in 2011, recording gaudy stats (108 receptions, 1,663 receiving yards, 14 receiving touchdowns and nine 100-yard games). Wright was the team leader in receptions for four consecutive years, setting almost every team record in the process. His 4,004 career receiving yards beat every other Bear in history by well over 1,000 yards.

Good luck Mr. Wright and welcome to Nashville!!!!

36 and Counting...or Why Am I allergic to Western States?

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:00:00 +0000

My Travel Map. White states are those that I have yet to visit.

So I have this goal of seeing all 50 states in my lifetime. Flying over doesn't count. You have to get off the plane, out of the car, off the boat, etc. for it to count. At the age of 32 I've been to 36 states but my map seems to have a Southern/East Coast bias. Clearly I'm not all that interested in the states west of the Mississippi; I've only been to six states on that side of things. I was very privileged to knock Hawaii out at the age of nine due to my father's job rewarding him with a trip to Maui. My mom took me to Los Angeles, California around the age of ten and I've been back as a teenager when my mom worked on the NorthRidge earthquake and as an adult for the ESPY Awards. I've also been to San Jose, Monterey, and of course Orange County. I've been to Vegas three times I think. I mean why else would I go to Nevada. My cousin Mikia lives in Phoenix so I got to see the sights and sounds of Arizona. I must say I enjoyed my time there. I'm annoyed with their governor and all things political in Arizona but you can't beat the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Scottsdale...I could go on for days. Texas started out as just a fly-in with me having a layover in Dallas when I was younger but in 2006 I worked College Gameday from Texas A & M so I got a REAL taste of Texas that weekend. I ventured into Kansas to watch my cousin Ashleigh play AAU basketball. I didn't get to see that much of it as I was in a gym most of the day but I definitely can count it as visited.

What bothers me the most about this map is that Maine is the only state on the East Coast that I've never been to. I lived in Connecticut for FOUR YEARS and never made it up there. I'm going to have to schedule a trip up there really soon.

I feel as though ESPN should send me to an Oklahoma City game just so I can get that out of the way. Let me know West Coast readers (or Southern and East Coast travelers) where should I visit next? What's your favorite state to visit?

Would You Rather...

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:00:00 +0000

(l to r) Tricia, me, and Aja on the Swine Flu Cruise of 2009

In 2009 my line sisters and I went on our Ten Year Reunion cruise. Two days before our cruise we were all called by Carnival with the news that due to the Swine Flu epidemic in Mexico we would be traveling to the Bahamas instead. If I had been asked whether to risk Swine Flu in Mexico or go back to the Bahamas, where I've been a bazillion times...I might would have picked Swine Flu. Crazy I know but seriously...I've done the Bahamas.

Here’s a little series of “Would You Rather’s” just for the travel addicts out there that I found on Flightster. My answers are in Pink (of course).

1.) Would you rather… flaunt the beautiful fruit of your loins at the nude beaches of the “World Capital of Nudism” in the Vermeille Coast in France or take one of the nude half-day cruises at Makena State Park in Maui, Hawaii? Are you kidding? Definitely the nude beach. A cruise means I'm trapped with all those naked people and might have to look them in the eye later!!!

2.) Would you rather… learn the sexy dance of the Tango in Buenos Aires, Argentina or the vibrante dance of the Samba in the Lapa street parties in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The SAMBA baby. I love it. It's faster and you don't have to be all hip to hip with your partner. It's too hot in South America for that.

3.) Would you rather… partake in a Japanese Tea Ceremony in Kyoto, or an American binge drinking ceremony at Boston College? Well since I hate beer more than anything else I'd rather partake in a Japanese Tea Ceremony. Plus I'm sure I'd enjoy wearing a Kimono.

4.) Would you rather… stand at the North Pole, or the South Pole? Neither but that's against the rules. I'd pick the North Pole because Santa is there and I just saw that the South Pole is colder than the North Pole so there. I'd go North.

5.) Would you rather… bike across the US from New York City to San Diego, or bike across China from Beijing to Tibet? I'd bike across the US. At least I'd know the language.

6.) Would you rather… take ecstasy and have a crazy night you’d never tell your parents about at one of Thailand’s full moon parties, or take ecstasy and have a crazy night you’d never tell your parents about at Ibiza? Oooohhhh Ibiza is on my list of places to go in 2013 with my cousins. So absolutely without a doubt ecstasy in Ibiza.

7.) Would you rather… go on a near-death trek across the Himalayas with Bear Grills of Man vs. Wild and live off of goat testicles, or the guy from Survivor Man and have to carry around his little camcorder everywhere? Since I'm a video producer I'd chill with Survivor man. Is he hiring?

8.) Would you rather… have an easier time with initial culture shock upon arriving in a new place or dealing with reverse culture shock upon leaving and returning “home”? I'd have an easier time coming home. Home is never awkward for me no matter how long I've been gone. I always have the hardest time on the first day in a new place.

9.) Would you rather… drink snake blood in Vietnam, or eat cow tongue in France? Eat cow tongue in France. I'd just try to pretend it was something else. I can't say I could make snake blood seem like something else.

10.) Would you rather… fall in love with a fine, sexy, Spanish-speaking, tall dark and handsome/pretty Latino/a or a fine, sexy, Italian-speaking, tall dark and handsome/pretty Italiano/a? I was about to say something SO foul here but I'll go Spanish-speaking. South America is on my to-do list.

11.) Would you rather… offend someone by telling them how stupid and idiotic they are for not having a desire to see the world, or ignore the conversation all together? Ignore the conversation. I honestly don't care if they don't want to see the world. I do. If we're married however, not wanting to travel is a deal breaker.

12.) Would you rather… buy travel gear that is sustainable, organic and recyclable to the best of its ability for a higher price, or just buy a copy of it made in China for a cheaper price? I want to be a better person and say I'm all about buying organic but if I'm traveling I'm already out of a lot of money so...cheaply made in China.

13.) Would you rather… be humbled by the vast height of the Redwoods in California, or the vast distance of the Sahara Desert? The vast distance of the Sahara Desert- yes please! The Redwoods are fantastic but I've seen them.

14.) Would you rather… have the book The Alchemist, or the book The Life of Pi with you if you were stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life? I would prefer The Alchemist but only by a hair. They're both excellent.

15.) Would you rather… travel in a country of forced silence and safety like China, or a country currently experiencing change and instability like Egypt? I'm such a scary person. Forced silence and safety sounds a lot better than instability. So China it is!

16.) Would you rather … travel to a country that speaks very little English and learn their language, or travel to a country that can communicate in English as to avoid that obstacle? I'd like to communicate in English. The drawback to being fluent in English and German is that they don't help you with any other language. Romance languages sound great but I have NO idea what they're saying.

17.) Would you rather… travel from place to place each week for six months and “see it all”, or live in one location with small mini trips for six months and really experience the culture fully? I'd like to live in one location with mini trips. I want to get acquainted with the culture, the people, etc.

18.) Would you rather… travel with a friend, solo, with a lover, or with the hot guy/girl you just met in the airport? I've never ever traveled with a lover for an extended period of time and I WOULD LOVE TO. I think it would be so much fun. He'd have to leave me alone every other day though.

19.) Would you rather… volunteer abroad for one year in conditions you didn’t think you could survive in beforehand, or work abroad for one year in a culture with a work ethic so different than your own? I'd work in the culture with a different work ethic. I can deal with work. I can't deal with psycho conditions.

20.) Would you rather… travel to a place and realize you hate it but stick it out, or wish you had never gone there in the first place and leave as soon as possible? LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I am not a stick it out person. I'm the first to jump ship if it's not working out.

So, how did you answer? What would you rather do?

Remembering Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 17:01:00 +0000

Aunt Nita, Aunt Elaine, Ma, Me, and Mother

The last two weeks have been hard for my family to say the least. After burying my uncle we then turned around and had to bury my grandmother nine days later. I knew the day would come for us to say goodbye but I was still unprepared. In a twist of fate or an act of God we were called home due to my uncle's passing. I saw my grandmother that weekend. Had we not had to travel home I would not have gotten to tell her goodbye in person. I will forever be thankful for that.

Mother

Unlike many people I grew up near my grandmother as a matter of fact just around the corner from her. She was my primary babysitter along with my aunts. She was a feisty, witty, and powerful matriarch. To me she was the funniest person I knew. After giving birth to twelve kids wouldn't you have to have a sense of humor? Our family is the most hilarious group of people I know and from stories that my aunts and uncles tell it comes directly from their parents. I wish I had been around to see the interaction between my grandmother and grandfather. You can read more about him here. (http://www.blackdebutante.com/2010/05/he-lives-on.html) Although losing Mother was hard I can't help but get a kick out of them being reunited after 30 years apart.

My grandmother was a lot of things. First and foremost she was a Christian woman who worked hard for her God and her church. That was the hardest thing to deal with after her stroke was her want to get back to church versus her physical ability to get there. Second, she was a mother/caregiver. I remember how great she was at taking care of my mom after her back surgery and how Mother made sure she was in the operating room when I had my surgery at age 6. She wasn't going to let them put me out without her supervision.

Mother, Me, and Ma

Growing up so close to my maternal family I always wanted to look more like them. I wanted to look like my grandmother and mother. I was always proud of the high cheekbones that my grandmother gave me and when people say I'm beginning to look more like her is the best compliment anyone could give. Outside of the cheekbones I also think she gave me my one-liners that my friends laugh at. If Mother had one thing it was a quick response. She wasn't the bake cookies and coo at you kinda grandma. She was the "I make the best peach cobbler and you kids better be quiet" grandma and I loved her for that. Another thing I loved was how much history she had lived through. I loved talking to her about living through World Wars, the Great Depression, and the Civil Rights Movement. I also loved getting her take on electing the first Black President. She told me she never thought she'd see the day. I also remember her saying she voted for John McCain and then cracking up laughing at my face.

I try not to be sad that she's gone because after her stroke in 2006 she was never the same again. Her body was racked with pain and now she is free, but as a human being I miss her and I miss the fact that I won't hear her voice. I won't hear her say "there's my smiling girl" when I walk into a room. The biggest sadness comes when I think about the fact that she will never get to see me get married. Let's be real my grandma was QUITE concerned that I wasn't married yet. She got married at 16 so me hitting 32 and still single was something she couldn't quite grasp. She asked me every time she saw me did I have a boyfriend. And of course my answer was no. I never imagined that she wouldn't be there for my big day and this will remain my biggest regret.

Mother at Christmas dinner

With 10 children, 28 grandchildren, 41 great-grandchildren, 1 great-grandchild and one on the way my grandmother leaves an incredible legacy. Not only did she pass down her humor, she passed down her love of Christ. We are above all else a Christian family and I believe this is due entirely to my grandparents and their love for God.

I think about her every day and how lucky I was to have grown up with such a powerful woman in my life. She will be missed.

In Honor of My Uncle

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:59:00 +0000

A limb has fallen from the family tree.

I keep hearing a voice that says, "Grieve not for me.

Remember the best times, the laughter, the song.

The good life I lived while I was strong.

Continue my heritage, I'm counting on you.

Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.

My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest.

Remembering all, how I truly was blessed.

Continue traditions, no matter how small.

Go on with your life, don't worry about falls

I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin.

Until the day comes we're together again.

When I think of my uncle I can't help but smile. He was a hard worker, a dear husband, respected father, beloved grandfather and great-grandfather. Yet he was much more than that. When I mentioned his passing to my father the first thing out of his mouth was that he was a great friend. When I mentioned his passing to a family friend she said he was a great provider. When I think of him I recall being a child and him letting me sit on his back and brush his hair including his bald spot. He will truly be missed. If you attended a Hugle family cookout he always made sure you had everything you needed to have a great time. As a matter of fact our last conversation ended with him asking if I had gotten enough to eat. He was always a great host. When I heard the news of his passing I was overcome with sadness but my cousin said it best when she told me he passed doing what he loved and that gave me peace.

I’m sure my Aunt Joyce and cousins Rodney, Russell, Rendell, and Rontae have many more stories to share about him as a husband and a father. We all have stories about Uncle James Foster or as my uncles called him Sweet A and the laughter that he gave us. Although he left us suddenly his life will not easily be forgotten. His memory will always be with us, and his legacy will live on through his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchild.

My uncle’s death serves as a reminder to me how short life is and that there is no time for later. If you haven’t had lunch with an aunt in awhile do it. If you haven’t seen a cousin is awhile go visit. It seems cliché to say that we have to enjoy our time with our loved ones now because we cannot predict when they will be taken away from us, but it is very very true. Our family is extremely blessed that we are and have been so close after all these years. It is in these times of loss that we must and will pull together even tighter. When I think of my uncle I am not sad for I know he is now at rest and looking upon us hoping we’re having a great time.

As we celebrate his life I’d like to leave you with this scripture:

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Rest in Peace, James Foster

October 17, 1943-August 9, 2011

Trying to Win A Trip!

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:48:00 +0000

As you all know my mom is my favorite travel companion. We both love Paris. We both love Paris but have been separately. I would love for us to have that experience together. I follow a great blog that is giving a 7 day trip. I hope I win!!! I'd love to take her. The contest is over at http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris. She's done so much for me and this would be the best gift ever.

Love,
Black Deb

What Did I Learn?

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Tue, 03 May 2011 00:45:00 +0000

A week after Easter I decided to reflect on my Lenten season to see what I learned. Growing up Baptist we never participated in Lent. However, over the years I have met people who do give up things from Ash Wednesday to Easter as a sacrifice to our Lord. Last year I participated in Lent for the first time. Lent is the period of 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter, observed by some Christian churches with fasting, penitence, prayer and self-denial. The aim is for parishioners to make sacrifices as they spiritually prepare for Easter, moving closer to God. This year, Ash Wednesday was March 9. Easter was April 24. There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour). Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.

Deciding what to give up for Lent isn't an easy choice. Pastors suggest people consider what's valuable to them, and that includes their time. I used the time last year to study the Bible and to give up a little cursing issue I have. This year I upped the ante as they say. I gave up three addictions that I had in the hopes that I would turn towards the Bible instead of towards those things. I am gave up Twitter (yes, I am addicted), Pepsi (been addicted), and cursing (no it didn't take from last year). I was so hopeful and excited about this time of prayer and the freedom from these addictions.

I gave up Twitter for several reasons. The main reason was/is my time. I get Twitter updates on my phone all during the day and spend FAR too much time checking in and reading updates.I also find myself in trivial conversations with people I do not know. Not only does it waste my time but there is a lot of negativity on Twitter that has pulled me away from clean thoughts and healthy living. I have spent more time on Twitter than with my Bible in recent months and that had to stop. I also needed to rekindle relationships with people I know in real life. I had begun to talk to people on Twitter like I know them. I don't.

My love affair with Pepsi has been going on for as long as I can remember. I love it. It's my coffee, snack, etc. I know this is unhealthy for me and it's time to let it go. If my body is God's temple then Pepsi isn't what I should be pouring into it. And cursing. Wow. I don't curse a lot but there are times when a word or two slip out. It's not ladylike and can't sound well when I'm trying to extol the virtues of Christianity.

So how did I do? Well, Twitter was easy. I deleted my account. I also deleted SocialScope from my phone. So it was more trouble than it was worth to try to sign in. I made it 40 days and 40 nights without my Twitter friends. What's changed? Now that I am back I don't feel the need to check Twitter every second. I can go hours (gasp- I know) without an update and for me that's a wonderful thing. I also did myself a favor by starting fresh with a new account. I got rid of the negative people I was following without having to manually unfollow them. There were far too many to do that. Now I find people that I want in my life and most of them have been happy to see me return.

Pepsi has been the most shocking result of all. I thought that after 40 days I'd crave a Pepsi but I still have not had one. I chalk this up to the fact that I am on Weight Watchers and those Pepsi's are rather expensive on the points diet. There's no need to blow my diet until I can sing annoyingly loud like Jennifer Hudson.

During Lent I can honestly say I had one slip up. I cursed. I was in am animated conversation with my girls on a trip to Chicago. The conversation topic? Guess. Men. Our dating lives were enough to make me curse. It was a week before Easter so I still think I did pretty good. I learned that I don't NEED to be on Twitter 24/7 and Pepsi should be used as a treat. Now cursing? I didn't learn anything. Sometimes a curse word is the only thing that works in a situation. :-)

How was your Lent? What did you give up? Have you ever taken a break (Lent or otherwise) from social media? Let me know your thoughts.

The Great Twitter Fizzler

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 14:19:00 +0000

At what age does fizzling out become inappropriate? I would say 30 but what do I know? Over the winter I began ~~dating~~ ~~seeing~~ eating dinner with an older man. A REALLY older man-like 44. I thought ok- this is different. I met him three years ago when I transferred to Illinois as a Writer/Producer. I remember not really caring for how he handled his business back then. He was very demanding and tried to dictate how I was going to get our project done. I didn't dislike him- I just never wanted to work with him again. I also never took the time to get to know him which was unfair. Fast forward two years and we randomly began speaking on "black Twitter". Black Twitter is really really small so I don't know who followed who but he asked me out for dinner after I realized who he was. I accepted. Since I no longer work at his place of business I thought we'd start anew. Was he what I'd been praying to God for since the age of 16? Not exactly but close-ish. He's black, taller than me, has a relationship with God, loves his mom, has a job, etc. There were also things about him ~~that weren't in my list of must haves~~ I didn't like: he's been married, has a daughter, is perpetually late and is 13 years older than me. I'd rather start my own family fresh but I thought "well the old folks at church always say your blessing might not come in the package you expect" so I went with that.

At first things went great. He called or sent texts everyday. We were Twitter and Facebook friends and he even came with an endorsement from a family friend. She went as far as to say I was wrong about him two years ago and that he was a nice guy. Cool I thought and so it began. Doors were opened, snow was shoveled; we even took a trip up to Chicago for my cousins birthday- I'm talking the whole nine yards. Then about three months in I started noticing things not going the way I wanted them to go. Calls dropped off in lieu of texts. Now I'm a texter. Ask my family, line sisters, and best friends. I'd rather NEVER talk on the phone but when it comes to dating calls are the preferred method of communication. I mean how can I fall in love with your texts. So I voiced my desire for less texting and more phone calls. He agreed saying since he was "old-school" phone calls weren't a problem at all. Yet it never changed. Then I began inviting him to go on trips with me to Miami, Orlando, Italy and some beach in SC. He said ok yet plans were never made. The kicker however was that although he was reluctant to travel with me to warmer weather (he even dropped a black people don't go to the beach on me- SO UNTRUE with my family) - he was really excited about the possibility for a TWEET-UP. You heard me. A tweet-up. What's a tweet-up? Urbandictionary.com defines a tweet-up as a group of friends on Twitter (social network) that are planning to meet up. A request by a user to meet with friends via Twitter. I thought this was odd as I like the people I meet on Twitter but I realize they are strangers. The 44 year old speaks of his Twitter friends as if they are real people in his life. So to me a trip with the woman you're dating should sound a lot better than a tweet-up with random people but I guess not.

There were other small things he did but in the sake of the romantic comedy relationship I sought I let them go- like the fact that he corrected things of insignificant nature i.e. texts, statuses on Facebook. I chalked it up to him just being overly critical but that's the thing. I DON'T LIKE OVERLY CRITICAL PEOPLE. Who cares if my Facebook account says I attended Illinois State University instead of the University of Tennessee? Facebook takes whatever school you attended last and puts it on your profile. Chill dude. But he wouldn't let up. He also had a really bad habit of being late for our dates. I mean LATE like really really late. I can't stand to wait for anyone because I feel like you are disrespecting my time. I don't make you wait for me so don't make me wait for you. I'd driven my car to our last date because I knew I'd blow a gasket if he was late one more time. He was never late if I met him out somewhere- go figure. Valentine's Day 2011 should have been my watershed moment or better yet the point of no return phone calls. He didn't want to celebrate but he was going to take me to dinner. Fine I said. The day of we had plans for him to pick me up at 6:00pm. At 7pm I sent him a text and said "let's just not go" since you're really late. He called to say he wasn't feeling well -AN HOUR LATE after I texted him first. I should have ended it right there. But I'm a determined woman so I went out with him again.

A few weeks after the V-Day debacle I brought up my Florida trip again. After discussing this and getting nowhere things only got weirder. I've read many blog posts about not following your significant other on Twitter and boy were they right. One night before I gave Twitter up for Lent I saw him tweet someone about how good they looked in their picture. Uh-oh! Flag on the play. It was at that moment I knew it was time to move on. I asked him about the girl and whether they were dating and I do believe my answer was (through text) "Drop It." Now that might not sound odd to you but I'm a talker and drop it is never going to work. I thought back to some conversations he and I had over the course of our relationship and he always used his fatherly tone when I asked him questions. I brushed it off at the time but "Drop It" was the nail in the coffin of my May-December romance. I can't feel very romantic with "the tone" coming at me. So I thought maybe we'll just be friends (loose term) but one weekend in April things changed for the final time. I'd been getting more and more irritated by the lack of calls, lateness, and fatherly tone so I planned a field trip with my mom instead of going on our usual Saturday dinner date. He said ok and that he'd talk to me when I got back. I called him the next morning. Instead of getting a call back I got a text the next day. He sent " How's your day going?" Um. What? I never answered the text. That was three weeks ago. Now I understand that he and I might not be in the same place in our lives or Twitter relationships and it isn't going to work out but I assumed that at 44 you at least end the relationship with some sort of It's not me it's you conversation right? Now I have to tell the family friend (in my Coach Denny Green voice)"he was who I thought he was!" I can't even be mad in this situation. He's a nice guy that I'm incompatible with. It happens but now what? Do I owe him a call to state that we're done due to mutual lack of interest and incessant texting ? Do I chalk it up to fizzlers have no age limit? Was I the fizzler? Is closure always necessary? Tell me Deb fam. I think in this case he should at least call to say bye but I've been wrong before.

Have a GREAT Thursday!

In Search of a New NFL Team: New England Patriots

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 22:13:00 +0000

After living in New England for four years I had just about enough of the Patriots. They're good. I get it. I just don't like Bill Belichick. Sorry. One Patriot I do like is Jerod Mayo. This former VOL has led a series of voluntary player workouts in Massachusetts for his teammates, according to a source, ensuring the Pats won’t be as susceptible to injury when training camp eventually opens. I like the work ethic while the owners and the NFLPA sort this thing out. Other than Mayo my love for the Pats is weak. I just can't do it. I'll think on it.

I'll be back tomorrow to discuss the Jets. Are they more annoying than the Pats...I think so.

In Search of a New NFL Team: Miami Dolphins

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 02:01:00 +0000

On the surface Miami is not a bad team to root for. I love the colors. They boast the only undefeated season in NFL history. They also have a great city to call home. On the QB front - there are some issues. One season can make a big difference in the way fans and coaches view a player. Chad Henne started off in 2009 as the potential future QB of the Miami Dolphins. It only took an awful 2010 season for everyone to doubt his abilities and push him to the bench. Henne has a cannon for an arm, but problems with accuracy continue to hold him back. This season may define the career of the young quarter back, as he will get a chance to compete for a starting role. Do I believe in Henne? No. Not really. But there's hope. And then there's Brandon Marshall. Remember him? Dolphins fans rejoiced at the thought of getting a Pro Bowl wide receiver for 2 second round draft picks. They were all excited about the game-breaker Marshall could become in Miami. Do Dolphins fans still feel the same way now? I guess so. After all, as the roster stands right now, Brandon Marshall is the best player on the offense. Can I deal with more QB issues? Is a WR enough to keep me? Right now as it stands I'm down with South Beach.

Can the Patriots top the Dolphins? Doubt it! Stay Tuned!

In Search of a New NFL Team: Buffalo Bills

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:08:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I need a mistress team to get me through those times when the Titans just aren't doing it for me. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the AFC East. This division boasts one of the most successful teams of the 2000s and one of the worst. Let's start with the worst. The Bills.

I don't know a single player on this team. I think T.O. went there a few years back but I only know that because of his VH1 reality show. Oh...they have that player that blamed God for his dropped pass on Twitter. Yeah. That guy. I also remember about the Bill is that they were the team the Titans beat with the Music City Miracle. Buffalo is cold. This team loses more games than the Titans. I'd pick the Lions over the Bills. Enough Said.

Tune in tomorrow as I take a look at the Miami Dolphins.

In Search of a New NFL Team: Atlanta Falcons

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I need a mistress team to get me through those times when the Titans just aren't doing it for me. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the NFC South. These four teams have rabid fan bases whether they win or lose. Since I'm a Southern girl I can see myself picking a team in this division. Let's check out the Falcons.

As a Tennessean you would think I'd love the Falcons as they were the closest team to me during my youth right? Wrong. I didn't and don't feel any affinity for the dirty birds. I'll make this short and sweet. I liked Matty Ice and I always draft Michael Turner as my fantasy football running back- HOWEVER- after that awful, embarassing, no good, terrible game against Green Bay; I'm going to have to pass. I remember watching that game thinking hmmm -this is why I don't watch the NFC ever. It was a MESS. I know Matt Ryan is normally good but he's going to have to prove he can win in the playoffs and not get WHOOPED!

So to wrap up this lackluster division I am picking the up and coming BUCS! Tune in next week as I head to the AFC East. Sorry Pats fans but your post will be short.

In Search of a New NFL Team: New Orleans Saints

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I need a mistress team to get me through those times when the Titans just aren't doing it for me. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the NFC South. These four teams have rabid fan bases whether they win or lose. Since I'm a Southern girl I can see myself picking a team in this division. Let's check out the Saints.

After discussing the Bucs yesterday I am pretty sure my mind is made up. However, I should at least LOOK at the Saints right. I know I know. Katrina was horrible but that's not why I should pick the Saints. Let's see what they've got going on. Let's start at the top. I really like Drew Brees. I'm glad he got a ring after the Chargers pushed him aside for Phillip Rivers. So there's that. I loved Reggie Bush at USC (technically he was ineligible but who cares). n the offseason the Saints released Bush but at a media session at the NFL owners meeting yesterday, Saints coach Sean Payton indicated that he wants running back Reggie Bush to return. Payton said his contract needs to be reworked but believes both sides want to stay together. Since I do like their QB and RB (maybe)- the Saints might have a shot but I really don't have a pull for this team. I don't hate them. I just don't love them either. Losing to the Seahawks doesn't help a thing. That was embarrassing. Oh and I can't STAND WHO DAT AND WHO DEY?! Enough from both teams. I'm not sold just yet on the Saints. We'll have to wait and see.

Stay tuned tomorrow as I turn towards the Falcons. I was a believer in Matty Ice but DID YOU SEE THAT BUTT WHOOPING GREEN BAY PUT ON THEM?! I'm not sure about that one either.

Why I'm Mad About Bruce Pearl

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 17:31:00 +0000

Some prodding by an acquaintance led me to this post. So here are my thoughts on the firing of Bruce Pearl.

It stinks. I hate it. And I want Mike Hamilton gone. As you know men's basketball is third fiddle at UT. It's football, women's hoops then men's hoops. That's just the way it is. When I was at UT we had Jerry Green. I never missed a football game and went to many women's games. I went to men's basketball games back then to see who we were playing. During his tenure, Green led UT to the NCAA tournament 4 years in a row. Excitement surrounded the men's program in Knoxville. I even wore a shirt that said "UT's got the Green Light". Then BUZZ hit town and the dream died. DIED DIED DIED. Four years of the NCAA tournament turned into NO years in the tournament. As a matter of fact I'm not really sure who was on the team back then.

Then Bruce Pearl was hired.

Do you remember his first season at UT? No? I do. The VOLS went 22-8. Yes. It remains one of the best season records in Tennessee history. We don't really do single digit losses in basketball unless it's the women's team.

His second season was the year that he dressed in orange body paint to cheer on the Lady Vols against Duke. It was in a word- AWESOME. Then Pat Summitt, who isn't really the cheerleader type, repaid the support by dressing like a cheerleader and singing Rocky Top at a men's game. Are you serious? Pat Summitt? I loved it. Oh but wait- what did they do on the court that year? Got to the Sweet Sixteen in the tournament. AGAIN! No way. Not two years in a row.

His third season- I'll keep it short. The VOLS were ranked #1 in the country. True- it only lasted a few days but it still felt GREAT!

In his fourth season the VOLS went to the school's first Elite Eight. Enough said. That year our total victories (31) was the most in school history.

Yes Bruce Pearl lied. But I can't say I wasn't excited about basketball for the first time in my life. I am a football girl who lives for March Madness now due to the fact that the Vols have been involved as of late. I love what Bruce Pearl did in the way of changing the culture of Tennessee sports to include basketball. Whoever the Vols hire will have a huge task ahead of him. First he has to be OK with being third. Bruce was not only ok with that but he made the third team a good one that we could be proud of. Second, the NCAA is not done with UT so the new coaching staff is going to be rebuilding for awhile. Third, do you want to work for Mike Hamilton? Who's going to throw you under the bus the day before your first round game or FIRE you on the same day his women's hoops team is playing in their tournament. Smooth move Mike.

I'm not happy about this.

PS- To all the Illinois fans that keep bringing up what he did to you all those years ago- get over it. I was 10. I don't care. Save it for someone who does. Try beating Ohio State or something.

In Search of a New NFL Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I need a mistress team to get me through those times when the Titans just aren't doing it for me. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the NFC South. These four teams have rabid fan bases whether they win or lose. Since I'm a Southern girl I can see myself picking a team in this division. Let's check out the Bucs.

I actually kinda like this team. Ignore the history of losing and you'll find me squarely on "Team Raheem". He's turned the Bucs around in a year. Can't knock the hustle. The fact that Raheem and the Bucs went from finishing 3-13 to 10-6 was a big surprise. The fact that the team picked up Coach Morris' option to pay him $2 million per season over each of the next two seasons was not. Morris, the youngest head coach in the NFL, orchestrated the biggest turnaround in Bucs history with the NFL’s youngest team. Needless to say, things are looking up for the coach and the franchise. So basically I could be a fan of this team for years with no risk of retirement. Josh Freeman is gaining steam as the new "it" QB. He's even stepping up during the lockout. Nobody expected him to mature this early in his career. Now, the former Kansas State standout is drawing from praise for organizing offseason workouts with his teammates while he and the rest of us wait for the NFL lockout to come to an end. Freeman shocked the rest of the NFL last season by leading Tampa Bay to a 10-6 record and is doing the same with some of his teammates with his leadership skills. Last season, Freeman threw for 3,451 yards with 25 touchdowns and just six interceptions. I like the guy, obviously. This team is seriously in the running for my mistress team. They have no rooting interest against the Titans so it feels safe.

Tune in tomorrow to see if the Saints or Falcons can beat the Bucs for my affection!

In Search of a New NFL Team: Carolina Panthers

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:45:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I need a mistress team to get me through those times when the Titans just aren't doing it for me. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the NFC South. These four teams have rabid fan bases whether they win or lose. Since I'm a Southern girl I can see myself picking a team in this division. Let's check out the Carolina Panthers and see if they're a good fit.

Unfortunately for them and me the first thing I think of when I think the Carolina Panthers is Rae Carruth. Then Jake Delhomme. Then their owner who is a jerk. But let's see if they have any redeeming qualities. Wait. I just realized Jimmy Clausen is their QB. Um no thanks. I lived through Casey AND Rick Clausen at UT. I can't deal with ANY MORE CLAUSENS! I do like Deangelo Williams so that's a plus. Another thing they have going for them is that I really do love their colors. I could find some nice Panthers shirts but if I hate the QB can I really cheer for them? The verdict is out on that one.

Stay tuned as I travel further south to check out the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They win now right?

Family Photo Friday! Beach Trips!

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

Andrea and I caught in a wave

Have I told you how much I love the beach?! I LOVE THE BEACH! My family has been going to Virginia Beach since I was a kid. After surviving another Illinois winter I am ready for our family trip to Miami. This picture was taking in Myrtle Beach, SC at our family reunion. I tried all day not to get my hair wet, but you know that was a lost cause. My cousin Andrea and I got caught in a wave and the hair was done for the day!

View from our room

The Tennessee Titans: Pros and Cons

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

As you know I am searching for a mistress team. Let me explain. I am a Titans fan. I am a Titans season ticket holder. HOWEVER, when they let me down it would be nice to have another team- preferably a team that wins- to get me through the rough spots. There are several reasons that I should just stick with my team. There are also many many reasons why I should just get a spare team.

PRO's

I'm from Tennessee. They are my hometown team.
I've been a fan since they left Houston.
I'm not a fairweather fan.
For the majority of the time in TN they've had winning records.
I LOVE Chris Johnson.
I have season tickets.

CON's

We've been to ONE Super Bowl. And we lost that one.
I'm not sold on our color scheme. The light blue? Meh.
Our defensive stars leave for places like Detroit.
We never ever ever EVER have a super star receiver. We had Randy Moss and didn't use him.
We're attached to black QB's. Let me explain. I'm all for black QB's but when they are in I feel the need to defend them. I don't want that added stress.
Most teams are planning lockout practices. The Titans aren't.
We ended things with Jeff Fisher only to hire his assistant. Oh. Ok.
They let Randy Moss go.
We have a Ravens issues. As in...we always let them win.

I'm going to continue searching for a mistress team. I am going to think long and hard about this. I love the Titans but it's beginning to feel like an abusive relationship. Stay tuned as I turn towards the NFC South.

In Search of a New NFL Team: Indianapolis Colts

noreply@blogger.com (Anetra) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:15:00 +0000

I am on a quest to find a new NFL team. I'm going team by team to find out which team is the best fit for me. Now let's look at the AFC South. If you've been following along you know that this is the division out of which my original team comes from. Am I really going to pick a mistress team within the division? Let's take a look at the Colts.

Out of all of the teams in the AFC South this is the only team that has won a Super Bowl...EVER. That alone is grounds for me to select the Colts. They have several players that I love and they have a winning tradition. Something I'm missing over there in Tennessee. We'll start with the no-brainer. I went to Tennessee. I like Peyton. It's that simple. He wins with starters, back-ups, scrubs, whomever they put out there he can score TDs. My favorite WR in the league just so happens to be Reggie Wayne, who plays for the Colts. What scares me about Wayne is that although he's coming off a terrific '10 campaign and has been adamant about wanting a long-term deal the Colts generally don't do with players in their 30's. If the Colts draft a wide receiver in April I feel Wayne's Colts days are numbered. Bummer. In addition to Wayne their crop of WR's and TE's is a great group! Pierre Garcon, Austin Collie, Dallas Clark, Anthony Gonzalez, Jacob Tamme, etc. On the defensive side the Colts have one of my favorites in Dwight Freeney. The spin move is almost legendary at this point. He can do no wrong in my eyes. If there was a team that I would pick to be my mistress team within the division it would be the Colts. Remember when everyone was for the New Orleans Saints because of Katrina? I wasn't. I was for the Colts. Unless they are playing the Titans I am always for the Colts.

Tomorrow I'm going to list my pro's and con's for staying with the Titans. Might be a short one.