And That's When The Fight Started

Sarcastic Love Poems

2014-03-19T07:23:00.001-04:00

The Washington Post had a contest, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem...except that the last line had to be as unromantic.... as the first line was romantic.

(These are really really funny!)

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was p*ssed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
That is, until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

But the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Why Do Men Need Man Caves

2014-01-05T07:23:00.000-05:00

Why does a man want a Man Cave

We’ll explain man caves once you

explain the need to own

3953489234698 pairs of shoes.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

2013-12-28T12:31:00.002-05:00

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”
God said,”No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live”.

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital

and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come

in and change her hair colour. Since she had so

much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home,

she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

“I thought you said I had
another 40 years?

Why didn’t you pull me out

of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Marriage and Natural Disasters Joke

2013-08-23T17:01:00.000-04:00

I told my wife this joke:

Natural Disaster - Marriage Joke

Nobody teaches Icelandic or Hawaiian volcanoes to erupt,
Floods to arise,
Hurricanes to form,

Nobody taught

Rob Ford how to be an honest Mayor

Nobody teaches how to choose a wife
Natural disasters just happen !!!!!!!!!!

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

My Grandparents Embrace the Hi Tech Revolution

2013-02-24T08:27:00.001-05:00

My Grandpa told me that after much deliberation

he has decided that he and Grandma

should get more involved with the Hi tech revolution.

He thought he would ask for a new

Apple iCar for Father’s Day…

And he was sure Grandma would be delighted to get

( instead of a new vacuum cleaner )

the following new Apple product for Mother’s Day

The iRon

and that’s when the fight started

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Lying all these days

2013-02-09T18:18:00.004-05:00

The Toy…

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down… and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

“You impotent jerk,” She screamed at him, “How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I'll explain the toy… you explain the kids.”

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

It was my worm

2013-02-07T15:20:00.001-05:00

We saw it first!

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

FISCAL CLIFF FIGHT

2012-12-23T07:46:00.000-05:00

Mr. Obama has repeatedly lost patience with the speaker as the Fiscal Cliff negotiations faltered. In an Oval Office meeting last week, he told Mr. Boehner that if the sides didn’t reach agreement, he would use his inaugural address and his State of the Union speech to tell the country the Republicans were at fault.
Boehner's response, " it's not my fault, it's yours!"

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

SNOWBALL FIGHT

2012-11-29T20:55:00.001-05:00

SNOWBALL FIGHT

CLICK HERE

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Black Friday or the Black and Blue Weekend

2012-11-23T06:16:00.002-05:00

You forgot to mention that there was a

Black Thursday!

Some stores, like Target, opened at 9 p.m.

on Thanksgiving this year, in an effort to get a

head start on the biggest shopping day of 2012.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Poor Koch Brothers

2012-11-08T17:40:00.003-05:00

David and Charles Koch spent a fortune trying to influence the 2012 Presidential Election.

POOR GUYS!

They sure Blew it!

Billionaires David and Charles Koch, who own the Wichita-based petroleum company Koch Industries, are libertarians who advocate lower corporate and personal tax rates, less government spending on social services, and reduced environmental regulation. They also stood to save over 12 billion dollars in inheritance taxes under Romney's plan.

David Koch ~ " You told me Romney would win!"
Charles Koch ~ "That's what Romney told me!"

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Fiscal Cliff and The Reality of American Politics

2012-11-07T14:41:00.004-05:00

The FISCAL CLIFF is the result of a two-year-old stalemate between U.S. President Barack Obama's administration and Congress over government spending and tax cuts.

Unable to agree on a future plan -- and with Congress unwilling to raise the government's borrowing limit -- both sides agreed in August 2011 to a deadline of Dec. 31, 2012, after which automatic spending cuts would be triggered to deal with the growing U.S. debt load.

In response to a question about civility in politics, Barbara Bush didn't mince words. "I think the rest of the world is looking at us these days and saying, 'What are you doing?'

"I hate that people think compromise is a dirty word. It's not a dirty word." ~ B. Bush

Newly re-elected Democratic President Obama will have to contend with a a very greedy and selfish Republican dominated Congress

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED AGAIN...

*******************************************

I Say Tomato, You Say Tom-ah-to

2012-11-07T08:53:00.004-05:00

I Say Tomato, You Say Tom-ah-to

Why do some people say tomayto and others say tomaato?

Tomato fight ~ "Tomatina" festival in the small Spanish town of Bunol.

How do you say TOMATo????

Tomayto or Tomahto

Canadians say Toe-meh -toe, eh!

Others say:

To-may-toe, Toe-mah-toe

to·ma·to[tuh-mey-toh]

Toe May Toh
Toh Mah To

POTATO
Poh Tay Toh
Poh Tah Toe

to-may-to versus to-mah-to

Because of the song, tomayto, tomahto

has come to be used as an expression meaning

“unimportant difference.”

It's not unimportant to me...

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

A BearFisted Fight

2012-11-06T16:27:00.002-05:00

Cute Bear Cubs Fighting

"You bearly know how to fight!"

adjective, adverb

with the fists bare: a fierce, barefisted fight; to fightbarefisted.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

I TOLD HER TO DRINK LESS WINE AND MORE MILK

2012-11-01T17:07:00.002-04:00

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

HOW FIGHTS GET STARTED

2012-11-01T16:59:00.003-04:00

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Understanding Women

2012-06-29T06:42:00.002-04:00

I bought this new book about understanding women for my wife!

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Best Site for National Anthems

2012-04-09T16:12:00.000-04:00

Great collection of National Anthems at:

AnthemWorld

Browse our library of national anthems from around the world.

If you can't find a national anthem, contact me and I'll try to get it for you.

Choose a continent or select from the alphabetical listings below:

* National Anthems of Africa

* National Anthems of Americas

* National Anthems of Asia

* National Anthems of Europe

* National Anthems of Oceania

http://www.anthemworld.com/

If you are bored hanging out with your significant other, you can always browse AnthemWorld for national anthems and flags of the world!!!

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

How many women have you slept with?

2012-01-14T12:48:00.000-05:00

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Newt Gingrich and Nancy Pelosi Humor

2011-12-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

Nancy Pelosi announced to

the world that she has

"DIRT"

on Newt Gingrich!

***

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Justin Bieber Beats Kim Kardashian

2011-11-29T09:12:00.002-05:00

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Bumper Sticker

2011-09-21T12:52:00.001-04:00

I just put this bumper sticker on my car!

and that's when the fight started...

*******************************************

Curtis and Leroy ~ First Time Elevator

2011-09-16T06:55:00.001-04:00

Curtis and Leroy and their wives were visiting a big city shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
Curtis asked Leroy, "What is this?".
Leroy responded, "I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don`t know what it is!".
While they were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a
wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and they watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.

Curtis said to his wife, "You try it."

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

The Dentist

2011-09-14T09:23:00.000-04:00

The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife Becky. "Show him, honey."

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Did Anyone See My Face?

2011-08-25T07:47:00.000-04:00

A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The Robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a good look at you."

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

And That's When The Fight Started

Sarcastic Love Poems

Why Do Men Need Man Caves

We’ll explain man caves once you

explain the need to own

3953489234698 pairs of shoes.

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience.Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”God said,”No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live”.

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital

and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come

in and change her hair colour. Since she had so

much more time to live,she figured she might as well make the most of it.After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.While crossing the street on her way home,

she was killed by an ambulance.Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

“I thought you said I hadanother 40 years?

Why didn’t you pull me out

of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

Marriage and Natural Disasters Joke

Natural Disaster - Marriage Joke

Nobody teaches Icelandic or Hawaiian volcanoes to erupt,Floods to arise,Hurricanes to form,

Nobody taught

Rob Ford how to be an honest MayorNobody teaches how to choose a wifeNatural disasters just happen !!!!!!!!!!

My Grandparents Embrace the Hi Tech Revolution

My Grandpa told me that after much deliberation

he has decided that he and Grandma

should get more involved with the Hi tech revolution.

He thought he would ask for a new

Apple iCar for Father’s Day…

And he was sure Grandma would be delighted to get

( instead of a new vacuum cleaner )

the following new Apple product for Mother’s Day

The iRon

and that’s when the fight started

Lying all these days

The Toy…

It was my worm

FISCAL CLIFF FIGHT

SNOWBALL FIGHT

Black Friday or the Black and Blue Weekend

Black Thursday!

Some stores, like Target, opened at 9 p.m.

on Thanksgiving this year, in an effort to get a

head start on the biggest shopping day of 2012.

Poor Koch Brothers

Fiscal Cliff and The Reality of American Politics

I Say Tomato, You Say Tom-ah-to

I Say Tomato, You Say Tom-ah-to

Why do some people say tomayto and others say tomaato?

Tomato fight ~ "Tomatina" festival in the small Spanish town of Bunol.

How do you say TOMATo????

Tomayto or Tomahto

A BearFisted Fight

bare·fist·ed

I TOLD HER TO DRINK LESS WINE AND MORE MILK

HOW FIGHTS GET STARTED

Understanding Women

Best Site for National Anthems

How many women have you slept with?

Newt Gingrich and Nancy Pelosi Humor

Justin Bieber Beats Kim Kardashian

Bumper Sticker

Curtis and Leroy ~ First Time Elevator

The Dentist

Did Anyone See My Face?

A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”
God said,”No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live”.

much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home,

she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

“I thought you said I had
another 40 years?

Nobody teaches Icelandic or Hawaiian volcanoes to erupt,
Floods to arise,
Hurricanes to form,

Rob Ford how to be an honest Mayor

Nobody teaches how to choose a wife
Natural disasters just happen !!!!!!!!!!