♥ Sappy Lovebirds ♥

New Beginnings

2015-12-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

I have sat at my computer multiple times this week and just sat there... I want so bad to write on my blog because I love writing and I love my little space on the world wide web, but I honestly don't even know even know what to say anymore! I admit that I have allowed doubt to creep in and make me feel silly for even having a blog and writing.

Is anyone reading this anymore?

Do people find me interesting?

Does my happiness about life come off as annoying to others?

Those may seem like silly questions, but they are three of many that swirl around in my head whenever I think about updating my little space. This moment is a perfect example! I almost hit the backspace button and deleted this whole post before I even got started because I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for affirmations. Because I'm not searching for that! I'm just...writing. Haha! I enjoy writing! I have kept journals ever since I was a little girl. I would ramble on and on because I felt like I had so much to say. When I read things I have written in the past I feel a little silly and wonder why those thoughts seemed so important to me at the time, but, I really enjoy what I'm writing about in the moment and it helps me feel better to get things on paper...or in a post...so why not?!

One of the reasons why I haven't posted in over a month is because of my many doubts. I need to get over my fear of what people think and just start writing again for myself. I love looking back at the pictures I have posted of my life, my children, our vacations, family, etc. I have shared funny moments and I have also shared some of my worst. I need to remind myself that this is my space, for my own personal enjoyment, and if other people want to look in they are more than welcome to, and if they don't want to --- they don't want to! It's OK!

With all of that silliness being said, I am ready for new beginnings! There are some big changes that are going to take place next year and I would love to share them with my friends and family! I was telling Paul the other day that God works in mysterious ways. We should never, ever, ever put our life plans in pen because God likes to change things on you and you need to be able to erase some plans to make room in between for God's plans as well as your own. I haven't really learned that lesson yet, but that's OK! I'm enjoying the lesson. I sit back, laugh, and shake my head at His handiwork.

I will post more details soon, but right now I will just say that I'm thankful for new beginnings! I'm excited, happy, and anxious to get started on our new adventure! I can't wait to write about it!

Eucharisteo

2015-11-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I attend one of the local Christian church's Bible study here in town and we just finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I know that God had the women of that church choose this book specifically for me and what I was going through in my life. Life had thrown Paul and I a curve ball and I felt like I was struggling with my head barely above water and I needed a helping hand desperately.

Paul has been furloughed since April of this year. During that time he was able to find a job as a handyman as well as help with a lot of responsibilities at church. Between him working his odd jobs and me being able to get my old data entry job back, we were able to pay the bills and we had food on the table. For the most part I felt peace about everything that was going on. God has always been faithful in the past and I knew He would help us through this time. Every month, after paying the bills and buying a week's worth of groceries, I would feel my chest tighten and tears stinging my eyes ..... every month I would have to pray again that God would give me peace about our situation and remind myself that He is always faithful.

When I went to the ladies' Bible study I had no idea what this book was about, but it didn't take long for me to realize my life was about to change for the better. We read the book through the week, then every Tuesday we would watch a video from the author that would be incredibly deep, and after watching the videos we would have group discussions and talk about even deeper issues going on in our lives. It was uncomfortable sometimes, for me, and I'm sure all the other women, because we don't like to talk about the things we are dealing with. I know for me, I hate talking about my weaknesses and struggles.

Eucharisteo. Grace. Joy. Thanksgiving.

She taught us about the Greek word eucharisteo -- this is the word that can change everything: eucharisteo—it comes right out of the Gospel of Luke: “And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them … ” (Luke 22:19 NIV). In the original language, “he gave thanks” reads “eucharisteo.”

The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning “grace.” Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks. Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning “joy.” Charis. Grace. Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Chara. Joy.

Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo; the table of thanksgiving. The holy grail of joy, God set it in the very center of Christianity. The Eucharist is the central symbol of Christianity. Glynn, doesn’t the continual repetition of beginning our week at the table of the Eucharist clearly place the whole of our lives into the context of thanksgiving?

One of Christ’s very last directives He offers to His disciples is to take the bread, the wine, and to remember. Do this in remembrance of Me. Remember and give thanks.

This is the crux of Christianity: to remember and give thanks, eucharisteo.

Once she introduced eucharisteo in the book, I have done my best to have grace, to be thankful, and to have joy every single day. Sometimes it isn't easy when the kids are spilling cups, bouncing off the walls, or not taking their naps so I can get some work done, but I don't let it discourage me. I am not perfect, but each day I strive to be better than I am today and hopefully I will be where I want to be!

God ..... is always good and we are always loved ..... even when what He gives may appear ugly. Ann Voskamp

I could write so much more about this wonderful book, but I think you should just read it on your own and see what you think! I will close with this story about my husband and I that happened just a couple weeks ago .....

On our way home from visiting family we experienced a life lesson. We drove through a major town and I suggested to my husband that he should get gas. He had intentions of doing so, but he figured there would be one more station up ahead every time he passed an exit leading into the town. 90+ miles later, we got off on the appropriate exit leading us to the next major town that is 30 miles away, and we only have 15 miles of gas left in our tank. We have ran out of gas more than once in our nearly 8 years of marriage so that fear is always in the back of my mind (that is also why I nicely suggested getting gas 90 miles ago, but oh well!) so realizing we would be stranded in the middle of nowhere with four small children and no cell phone service was hitting home fast.

Even though I felt the anxiety creeping in to my heart I did my best to remain calm. My natural instincts would be to start a fight, but I knew God was giving us a life lesson and I really didn't want to blow it.

We found a little town on the side of the road that we pulled into hoping to find a gas station ..... they had a school, a fire station, a post office, and no gas station. At this point we only had 10 miles left so we pulled back onto the highway hoping to find a station soon. Paul and I watched the miles go down from 10, to 9, to 8, to 7 ..... I suggested to Paul that we needed to pray together that God help us, and he made sure to let me know he had already started a long time ago! :-) I started praying too -- whether in my head or out loud I can't remember -- but I prayed and asked God to divinely help us. I told Him I had faith that He would help us whether we found a gas station or not. I had peace as Paul and I continued to watch the gas gauge go down to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 .....

We drove on 0 miles for a little while, and we saw a bend in the road. I told Paul with confidence that there was a gas station around the corner and that God was with us. I didn't know for sure since I had never been in this area before, but I strongly believe God told me. We went around the hill, and there was a tiny little gas station just waiting for us.

God took something that could have been ugly and taught us an amazing lesson -- though we didn't realize how amazing of a lesson till the next day.

The day after we were home from our trip Paul went back to work as a handyman. A couple hours after he left he called to say that, after 6 months of being furloughed from the railroad, they were calling him back to work!

Sometimes we feel like we are running low on God's blessings. We see the blessings meter running down to empty and, though we have no idea how God will do it, we know He never, ever, ever leaves us stranded on the side of the road. He will always remain faithful. He just wants to see how faithful you are to Him.

I am kind of surprised at how long of a post this is. I read through it wondering if I should edit it to make it a little shorter, but honestly I feel like everything on here needs to stay. So for the few who actually read this post to the end, I really hope it blesses you and you feel encouraged. I don't know what you're going through in your life, but God does, and maybe He led you to this post for a reason!

In the stressful times; seek God.

In the painful times; praise God.

In the terrible times; trust God.

And

At all times ..... At all times ..... At all times

Thank God.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

2015-09-14T13:22:00.000-06:00

Is it Monday already? Really? Friday was just here and I blinked. My weekends feel too short. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. This last weekend was especially busy because we went to a wedding! One of my good friends got married on Saturday and I was honored to be one of her bridesmaids. She got married in the mountains and it was gorgeous. The weather and decorations was perfect. I am so happy for her and her new husband!

On Sunday we spent the day with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law eating junk food and watching our football team lose. That's always a bummer! But the fellowship was fun. After that we all made our way to church for evening Sunday school and a rousing game of Fruit Basket Upset. If you don't know what Fruit Basket Upset is I encourage you to come visit our church! You will have a lot of fun! :-)

Now it's Monday and we are back to school. We have done school for a month and Zoe still jumps right into her lessons and is excited to learn. I am so thankful for that! I know the day will come that she will not be as enthusiastic so I will choose to be thankful for it now!

In science class Zoe has been learning about water -- how it freezes and turns into ice when it gets cold, how it turns into a gas when it reaches a boiling point, and that the beautiful clouds we see in the sky are teeny tiny particles of ice that form those beautiful, puffy, white shapes in the sky. She also got to make her own clouds using cotton balls, paper, and her trusty glue stick.

I feel like we have a really good routine going when it comes to getting school work done. Now that we have found our groove in the school department, I think it's time to shift gears and focus on the cleaning house area...

How do homeschool moms keep the house tidy during the day?

I know all housewives/mothers live in different situations, but if you have any tips or suggestions on how to keep up with the house I would love to hear them!

Max's Birthday is tomorrow! Our little man is turning 4! I can't believe he is getting so big. I love his little personality. He is such a crack up! I'm not sure when we will have a party since family is either out of town or getting ready to head out of town...but when we do have a party I know it will be a lot of fun for him! He is pretty excited about growing up. He has big plans for his life!

Frozen in Time

2015-09-10T13:16:00.000-06:00

Every morning I wake up to happy squeals and giggles. Phebe is the happiest baby I have ever met in my life! She is so excited to see her brothers and sister in the morning, and she is especially excited to see Daddy in the morning! It makes me melt when I see her toddle up behind her Daddy and wrap her pudgy little arms around his leg and squeeze him with all of her might! The baby loves her Daddy.

Why do kids have to grow up? My life is a little overwhelming and stressful with so many little ones running around, but if I could freeze time and keep them at this age forever I would do it in a heartbeat! I love the hugs. I love the sloppy, wet kisses. I love the giggles. I love the imagination.

I'm so thankful for my life. I'm thankful for the happiness I feel. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to stay home and watch my children grow. It's something I take for granted sometimes.

I don't want my kids to grow up. I want them to stay small. I want them to want to snuggle with me, fall asleep while I play with their hair, invite me into their princess tent so we can read stories. I want my life to be frozen in time.

Life is a Mess

2015-09-08T13:57:00.001-06:00

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. -Phyllis Diller

When people ask how school is going, I feel pride well up in my chest as I tell them how well we are doing! Zoe is slowly learning how to read and Max is learning his ABC's as he cuts pictures and pastes them in his school book and tracing his numbers. I'm just thankful they don't ask how the rest of my house is doing since school started...

When I read the above quote in one of my self help books I couldn't help but chuckle and share it with my fellow mommies on Facebook! I feel so accomplished once I fold the last piece of laundry, and before I have a chance to put it away all the piles are destroyed because my minions think "it's funny." Jesus help their little souls. They can be little devils sometimes.

Paul and I were talking to another young couple with a child and we were talking about junk that a house can accumulate. I told them that junk breeds like rabbits. I firmly believe it. We always have trash bags or boxes full of things that we donate to Salvation Army. Sometimes I will drop off a full car load of junk, return home, just to see my house still messy, full of junk, and not organized in the slightest. Talk about depressing.

Just last night I cleaned the living room after the kids went to bed. But there's still a pile of laundry that needs to be (re)folded, toys piled in the corner that I were put away in the morning for fear of waking a sleeping baby, and shoes that line my couch since they can't be put away in the closet. You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes at my own sarcasm.

Before I got married I was a very organized person. My closet was not only color coordinated, it was alphabetized. Everything had its place, and nothing was out of place. Once I got married, I threw all of my good habits out the window. I was a free woman! I could do whatever I wanted! I didn't have to pick up if I didn't have to! My husband felt the same way. We were young kids that didn't worry much about responsibilities -- just having fun. Almost 8 years and 4 kids later...I'm in big trouble.

I won't go into the embarrassing details, but I struggle with everything in my life from waking up early in the morning and exercising, to simply putting things away when I'm finished with them. The kitchen sink is too far away so I let dishes pile up on the counter or table. The laundry is too monotonous to fold and put away so I have clean piles and dirty piles.

What is wrong with me?!

I feel like I'm to the point in my life now (please, Jesus, let it be so!) where I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of the laziness. I'm sick of the mess. I'm sick of the unorganized lifestyle. I'm sick of the way I look and need to exercise regularly for Pete's sake! I'm sick of it. I need change.

Today I made changes. Tomorrow I will make more changes. It's time to be a different person. It's time to be someone I can be proud of.

Anyways... This post went in a completely different direction than what I intended! I was planning on posting some pictures and letting everyone know how we are doing!

Zoe has two soccer games a week so that has been keeping us pretty busy! It's fun to watch her play with the other little kids on her team. I will admit, though, that her daddy and I need to practice with her more! When she's on the field she gets a little shy and doesn't kick the ball. She needs to pay attention a little better and be aggressive. B-E AGGRESSIVE. I know it's only her first year so I'm not too stressed out about it. It won't be long before Max is on the field too! I know our little man is chomping at the bit to get out there.

We are into our 4th week of school and the kids are still doing great! I am so proud of my hard little workers. I can't wait to see what they grow up to be one day. Until then, I enjoy teaching them their ABC's and 123's and watching them grow.

While Zoe and Max do their school I am potty training Titus. I should have started with him a long time ago, but I didn't so I'm doing it now. He is doing a great job! I can't wait till he's fully potty trained and we only have to buy diapers for one kid! I hardly know what that feels like!

Paul decided we needed to roast hot dogs and s'mores in the backyard the other night. It was so nice to just sit around a fire and talk while the kids played on the jungle gym. There is something about a warm, crackling fire that is so relaxing to me. We don't have very many nice nights left so I want to have another fire soon. It makes me wish we had a fireplace! One day... :-)

The beginning of this post may be a little depressing, and if you feel that way I'm sorry, but I'm still going to post it because I am an honest person. One day I will look back at older posts, and if I stumble upon this one I hope I can read it and have fond memories as I think back to this time in my life, and hopefully thank myself for the turning point I made to strive to be better.

One day I hope to be healthy and strong, someone who exercises regularly and eats healthy. I hope to be organized and take care of a more tidy home. I want my home to be my pride and joy because I have created a haven for the ones I love most. I hope to be patient and soft spoken to my husband and my kids -- to really think before I speak so the only words that come out of my mouth bless instead of curse or rebuke others. I hope to raise children who love God more than anything, or anyone, else. I hope to raise my children to have grateful, giving hearts. I don't want a lot in life...but the things I do want, I feel are very important. Starting today, I will strive to make these hopes a reality.

Week One Complete

2015-08-21T12:58:00.001-06:00

It's hard to believe that our first week of school is already over. I don't know how the kids feel, but I thought it flew by! They did a wonderful job and had a lot of fun -- especially in art class. We made homemade play dough and got to finger paint using chocolate pudding. I know, I know, I'm a cool mom.

Zoe is slowly sounding out small words and is surprising herself! Zoe and Max both told me they want to be astronauts so we remind them almost daily that they have to do great in school so they can. I want them to reach for the stars and feel like they can be anything they want to be...but I might have an anxiety attack if they really do become astronauts. I have a slight fear of the outer space (it's so big!) so thankfully I don't have to worry about this for a few years.

Oh, we also say The Pledge of Allegiance before we start school every day and the kids almost have it memorized already! I wish I had their amazing memory. We also hold hands and form a circle to pray for our day. Even little Phebe holds hands and tries to close her eyes while we pray. I love it!

I'm so thankful for this opportunity to teach my children!

School Days

2015-08-18T15:56:00.001-06:00

We decided to start school a week early because Zoe was too excited to wait! After the first day I think she regretted being so excited. Maximus likes the idea of school, too, but hates the fact that he has to sit still. Sorry kids, you're stuck with this for the next 12 years -- not counting college. And you will be going to college! :-)

Zoe did have an art class today that all the kids get to participate in! I read the story of The Gingerbread Man and then we made homemade play dough! They are busy making their own little gingerbread men, motorcycles, monsters, balls, snakes, etc. I didn't realize how easy it was to make play dough! Why do I buy the stinky stuff from the store?! Never again.

So far it seems to take Zoe 2-3 hours to get all of her subjects done. I'm really proud of her! It takes Max about half an hour since he only has two subjects. I'm not pushing him since he's still pretty young, but when he applies himself he does very well and is so smart!

I know this is only the second day and we will have days where we really just don't want to do school and we need to push through, but I'm really thankful that it's going well so far. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to teach my kids and watch them grow!

TV Restrictions

2015-08-11T09:58:00.001-06:00

I feel like parenthood is the biggest guessing game on the planet. You raise these kids with the best intentions, but sometimes -- most of the time -- they choose to be monsters and you have to find a way to discipline them that works. You can read books, get advice from mentored, watch Nanny 911 on Netflix... But at the end of the day you're still guessing what's going to work for your child. What is going to make him/her realize they can never EVER do it again. Whatever "it" may be.

Zoe is 5 years old. She's still really young, but she is getting to the age where she knows certain things are wrong. Like coloring on walls, doors, furniture ... for example. In one day the girl colored more murals than Leonardo da Vinci. She decided to be rebellious and she was rebellious big time!

When asked why she colored on her door, the wall, and on furniture, she simply responded that she wanted the house to be beautiful.

::SIGH::

One day she is going to be an amazing artist and I'm going to be proud of her. I will look back on this and probably laugh and shake my head. But I can't let her think that this is ok -- because it isn't! So Paul had to find a punishment that made her realize what she did was wrong without crushing her artistic spirit.

Zoe is on her very first restriction. No TV, no iPad, no technology of any kind ... for 5 days.

I love my husband, I really do, but I think he hates me. Just kidding.

Maybe this restriction will be good for allow us. The boys aren't grounded from TV, but they haven't noticed it is off. They have been playing really well together using their imagination and just playing in the living room with toys, pillows, and blankets.

Kids are fun, aren't they? You have a craft basket with crayons, markers, paints, and plenty of paper, and they choose to use the walls instead. I can't win.

Is it Saturday yet?

First Day of School

2015-08-07T22:57:00.001-06:00

I can't believe school is starting in two weeks. Where did our summer go? It flew by way too fast and I am not ready for it to come to a close. To be perfectly honest, I wanted to do so many things this summer -- plant a garden, go on a family vacation, go camping at least once, ride bikes with the kids... but life has different plans I guess. Maybe next year we will be able to do what all we wanted to do.

Zoe is 5 years old and is officially enrolled in Christian Liberty Academy. Though we are going to homeschool our children, they will be enrolled so their records stay in one place and they will also receive report cards! How exciting is that! For a homeschool kid that's a big deal.

The school curriculum came the other day and I looked over the books real quick. I am slightly freaking out and praying that God helps me as I teach her, and I'm also really excited for Zoe! She's going to learn how to read. What? My baby is old enough to learn how to read! I can't believe this is really happening.

On Monday I will go through all of her books and schedule out all of her lessons for the school year.We also need to go shopping for school supplies! How fun! Oh, and I also have to shop for certain supplies to make sure I have everything Zoe needs for her art class. The kid has an art class!! AH!!

I'm also planning on buying some school books from the dollar store for Max and Titus for when they want to do school with Zoe. If they want to sit down and work on some pages, great! If not then I hope they will play outside or watch an educational show and let Zoe and I focus on what needs to get done on a daily basis.

As much as I am sad that summer is quickly going away, I am looking forward to watching Zoe grow and learn new things in kindergarten. I hope and pray we have a bond after the school year is over, that we will thrive together and she will listen to me as I teach and that I will also listen to her and all of her questions. That thought right there gave me a little anxiety considering she is a talker like her mom...but God will give me strength!

I'm thankful for the opportunity to teach my children from home. I don't want to miss a moment with my children. This is going to be fun!

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2015-06-19T14:49:00.000-06:00

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22

My kids. They make me laugh daily. I probably annoy people by filling their Facebook walls with my stories of what my kids said or did "this time." But I don't care! I can't help but share my joy with others!

God has a way of using children to bless others when it is needed the most. I was feeling really stressed the other day when my two-year-old ran into the room. I couldn't help but laugh at my little superhero as he saved my day! My worries melted away as I laughed at his costume and gave my little man a big hug and kiss.

God has been giving me a lot of great gems about motherhood lately.

Goodies like:

Bad moments don't make bad mamas!

Or this one:

Feelings are indicators not dictators.

Little reminders that motherhood is overwhelming. Sometimes we lose our cool, we mess up, we blow our tops. So I started writing myself little notes and posted them by my desk. The next time I feel overwhelmed and like I'm losing control, I look at my notes and read every. single. one.

Find the joy treasure.

When I feel myself falling into a pity party, I tell myself to find a joy treasure. Something that happened during the day that made me really happy. Maybe it was my quiet time with the Lord before the kids woke up, or maybe one of the kids said something really funny that made me laugh. I find something that gave me joy and I dwell on that till the woe-is-me attitude goes away. I even started a little tradition that my kids love to do at the dinner table! We make a point of asking each individual what their favorite part of the day was. The kids never forget and they make sure to ask every night.

A merry heart is like a medicine. Laughter warms you from the inside out. Our bones are definitely not drying up around here with these kids!

DIY Headboard

2015-06-06T15:24:00.002-06:00

Not too long ago Paul and I were talking about how our bedroom -- the supposed haven of the home -- is the only room in our house that is not painted or decorated. We have put so much effort into the rest of our house, and we have so much more we want to do, but our bedroom is still...well, ugly.

So Paul and I decided to make our own headboard recently. We read a blog post that showed how easy (and cheap!) it was to make so we decided to give it a whirl. We have never had a headboard in our married life and, since Paul is furloughed from the railroad right now, we figured we had enough time on our hands to try.

If you are interested in making your own, click HERE for the post we read with the instructions.

We are so happy and excited with the outcome! Doesn't it look nice? I feel like the room is a little more put together now. We still have so much more to do, but it's a step in the right direction!

Eventually we will get a new comforter, new curtains, paint the walls, buy matching lamps...and then we should be about done! We will most likely have to wait till Paul is back to work, but just having a headboard makes me feel better.

Gone Fishing

2015-06-06T15:06:00.000-06:00

I started working on this post almost a month ago and I'm finally sitting down to finish it! Life has been a little ~~hectic~~ busy lately so I haven't had time to sit and write as much as I would like to. So here we go!

So nearly a month ago we spent the day at the lake. Paul ran from one kid to the other trying to get a worm on each hook, casting the line, putting more worms on hooks, untangling lines, recasting...

It was a little hectic for the poor guy, but we laughed at the chaos and had fun anyways.

The kids were really excited to go fishing with Daddy -- especially Max! He has been wanting to go fishing and hunting with his Dad ever since he learned to go potty on the toilet. It was a deal we made with him hoping to persuade him.

I don't think he realized that you have to be quiet and sit still while fishing... He got fidgety not even 5 minutes after Paul cast his line in the water and got him ready!

All the kids got bored fairly quick and decided to walk around and play with their cousins.

After awhile the Dads gave up on fishing too (no bites this time) and we grilled some hot dogs and enjoyed dinner outside in God's beautiful country! It was pretty windy, but other then that it was a pretty relaxing day!

As fun as it was to go fishing with the family, I have wanted Paul and I to go together so bad! I would love to go fishing and just not have to talk or do anything -- just sit there and enjoy nature. I may even bring a book and read and just soak up the sun. Maybe we can do that for our next date night! :-)

Our Little Sweet Pea

2015-05-19T08:36:00.000-06:00

I went into the girls' room this morning to get Phebe out of bed. She was already wide awake standing on her tip toes trying to peek over the side of the pack-n-play. You can tell she is smiling brightly just by looking at her eyes. They sparkle! I got her out of bed and she turned her body around and started waving. She knows that once we enter the living room three older siblings are sitting on the couch ready and waiting to wave back.

Our little sweet pea is going to be 1 in two days! I can't believe it. Our last baby is growing up way too fast. Where is the pause button? I desperately need to find it. I need to freeze time right in this moment. My kids need to stay little forever.

Over the weekend I was really looking forward to sleeping in. I needed the extra sleep. My kids had other plans. They woke me up at 6:30. I rolled over to my husband and said, "Kids are exhausting." It's true. They are exhausting. They wake up and demand things from you before your eyelids even flutter open to welcome the first glimpse of sunlight.

But my baby -- the last baby of the family -- is turning 1. When I think about the fact that everything she says and does in her little life is the last of our baby firsts...I can't help but appreciate my little ones no matter how tired I am.

Paul and I are so blessed. We are thankful for Zoe, Maximus, Titus, and Phebe. I cannot imagine my life without these four amazing, beautiful, happy, healthy kids! I can't wait to celebrate with our sweet pea! Happy Birthday, Phebe!

I'm Baaack!

2015-05-18T08:17:00.000-06:00

So much has happened since the last time I updated my blog. SO MUCH. I won't bore you with all the nitty gritty details, but here is the shortened version.

The kids and I drove down to Arkansas with my Dad a month before my sister's wedding.
We were busy every. single. day. leading up to the wedding making sure everything was perfect. Only a few of those days were stressful. ;-)
I got addicted to Happy Hour. Sonic Happy Hour.
The kids loved playing outside with Uncle Tommy, Uncle Alex, and the horses. It was adorable to watch!
I found out Titus is never allowed to have Dum-Dums unsupervised.
I got to see family I haven't seen in years. They got to meet my little babies and fall in love with them.
When Paul finally made it down I was the happiest girl in the world! The kids were so excited that Daddy was finally with us too!
Paul helped take pictures of the wedding. I loved watching him. He's so handsome. :-)
My sister's wedding was beautiful! I'm so happy for her and my new brother-in-law!
I enjoyed the many jam sessions and craved more.
I'm thankful Paul and I took 3 days to drive home. Taking our time and stopping to do fun things on the way was a great idea!
I have lost 9 lbs since being home!
We were given a really nice swing set. Best. gift. ever.
When we got home from our vacation Paul got furloughed from the railroad. Not cool.
I miraculously got my old job back at Construction Monitor.
Happy Mother's Day!

That's a very rough summary of our life right now. Aren't you glad I didn't go into the details?

I really enjoyed my Mother's Day. I'm so thankful I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and we raise these four amazing kids together. We may not know what we are doing half the time, but at least we're not doing it alone!

Life is a little different right now. A little stressful. Not knowing what the future holds can feel pretty scary if you allow it. But Paul and I have reminded each other that God has everything under control and He will never ever leave us hanging. He has already shown us that He is going to take care of us through the amazing family and friends that we have! I feel like "I Know Who Holds Tomorrow" is stuck on repeat in my head. :-)

I don't know about tomorrow;

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

For it's skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said.

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know He holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;

It may bring me poverty.

But the one who feeds the sparrow,

Is the one who stands by me.

And the path that is my portion

May be through the flame or flood;

But His presence goes before me

And I'm covered with His blood.

I'm so thankful I have a relationship with God. He gives me peace. He gives me strength. He gives me courage! God blessed me with my old job so I can help provide for the family yet still be home so I don't miss out on anything. Zoe still enjoys her schoolwork at the kitchen table and is slowly learning how to read! The kids live outside in the backyard -- they're already a shade or two darker than me. :-) Paul and I are daydreaming about the things we want to do around the house. We are making lists and will slowly do little things here and there that will improve our little yellow home. We're still thinking positive! Most days. ;-)

Practice Makes Perfect

2015-03-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

If you missed my last post I wrote about how overwhelming it can be to try to have a clean house while small children still live there. I got some wonderful feedback that made me happy and it encouraged me to write again! Thanks guys!

Through Pinterest I have found many charts for age appropriate chores for children. I looked at my favorites and put together something that works best for us. My schedule is written on a piece of paper (how boring!) that will hang on the refrigerator so I see it multiple times a day.

The chores are simple. Make the beds. Pick up the dirty clothes. Pick up the toys. Zoe has a little more work like putting the silverware away, helping feed the animals, and cleaning her own room since she is the oldest.

Every day I hear the same excuses.

I have to go to the bathroom!

My finger hurts really bad.

I just need to dance to this song real quick...

Will you read me a story?

Practice makes perfect. Even though it takes a whole hour for the kids to make their beds and pick up the laundry, one day it will take them 45 minutes. Half an hour. 15 minutes.

For more experienced moms, how did you encourage your toddlers to do their chores? Is there anything that makes the job a little more fun? I would love to hear some feedback!

When the kids and I came home from church last night, she asked me what I was going to do once everyone went to bed. I casually said I would probably fold the clothes on the couch. She said, "If I was a mommy and I had to fold clothes at night, I would be so bored I would just fall asleep!" I laughed so hard because that has happened! Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done that!

Being a mom is so much fun!

Throw in the Towel

2015-03-02T19:46:00.001-07:00

Things were off to a good start this morning. I got up and made delicious omelets for the kids with sauteed vegetables and shredded cheese. The kids loved their breakfast and it was easy to make! I even made one for me to eat while I made my daily quad shot white chocolate caramel latte. I read the kids their devotions. We prayed for the day. I told the kids to start on their chores while I tried to catch up on my own devotions.

That's when everything fell apart.

The kids were not motivated to do their chores. While my back was turned the house looked even worse! The junk had babies of their own and multiplied. There was trash, clothes, shoes, toys, DVDs, food -- you name it -- all over the place. I didn't know where to start! The bummer thing was I couldn't start, because if I didn't pay the bills RIGHT THEN I knew I was going to forget (because that has happened) and then be late and I can't afford that.

Your children while they clean their room:

1% cleaning

30% complaining

69% playing with stuff they just found

I know I'm not the only mom who shut their eyes so tight and tried to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over.

I'm not the only mom to feel overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel when it comes to cleaning with small children.

I'm not the only wife and mom who has felt shame wash over them when people stop by unexpectedly and they see your house how it normally looks 98% of the time.

Then a little person wraps his pudgy little arms around my leg and kisses me while saying I am beautiful and I feel a little bit better.

I do the best I can with the house until the kids go to bed. Then I get the living room clean, maybe run the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry and then fall into bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I promise myself that I will try harder tomorrow.

I can only do the best I can. Some days ~~most days~~ my house is going to be a wreck. I will still have my emotional days, my overwhelmed moments, my feelings of embarrassment when it comes to my home. But I'm trying. Raising children is hard work and I can only do the best I can and be happy with that.

While I type I have four little heads in my way watching me type. They're hoping I will tell them a story about princesses, superheroes, dinosaurs, and monsters, and houses, and kids, and pillow men. Their words! They don't care about the mess. They would rather live this way because it's too much work to put away toys. But one day they will grow up. I can expect them to do more chores than just making their beds, picking up dirty clothes and toys, and putting dishes in the sink.

One day my life will get a little bit easier. But that means my kids have to grow up. I may have a clean house because my kids are older, but that means they're not small enough to climb into my lap and ask me to tell them a made up story.

And so... I take a deep breath in... I slowly let the air out of my lungs... and I get back to work. And I won't feel bad when I get interrupted by pudgy arms wrapping around my leg.

Goodnight, beautiful moms.

The Seven Year Itch

2015-02-28T11:04:00.003-07:00

Today is a special day. Seven years ago on this day my stomach was so full of butterflies I thought I was going to explode! It was the day before my wedding and I couldn't believe it was finally happening. I was going to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. The one man that was absolutely perfect -- and he chose me to be his wife.

It feels like yesterday. I feel the same anxiety and nerves when I think about it! I get excited when I think about my sister who must be feeling the same emotions while she anxiously awaits her own wedding in April. Once the wedding and the honeymoon are over, the real fun sets in. Life.

Seven years, four kids, three pets, two degrees, and one mortgage later, I am still the happiest woman on earth!

We have had our good days and bad days. We have experienced hardships, stress, and fights. But we also have experienced some amazing, wonderful, beautiful things. The good always outweighs the bad.

I shared on Facebook this morning that experts say that couples who stay married seven years are likely to be together for good. I don't know who the "experts" are, but I'm glad the odds are in my favor! A study found that the "seven-year itch" is a myth, and by the time a couple have been together that long their marriage is increasingly likely to last.

I can't wait to spend seven more years with my husband. Seventeen more years. Seventy more years if God allows!

Happy "Anniversary" to the most handsome, loving, funny, sexy, strong husband in the world! You still give me butterflies!

I've fallen and I can't get up!

2015-01-26T11:49:00.001-07:00

I attempted the full body sculpt workout again. At the 10 minute marker I fell over again and wanted to give up, but a little pat on the rear from my husband and his excited "You can do it!" motivated me to push harder. I made it the full 20 minutes! As you can see from the picture above I collapsed again and am in shock.

Since Saturday I have counted my calories and made sure to drink at least 100 oz. of water everyday. I weighed myself this morning and saw that I have already lost 4 lbs! It was just the motivation I needed to grab my water bottle and start all over again!

Last night I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and allowed myself to really look... I took time to observe every inch of my overweight body so that the image would be stuck in my head. I felt shame, disgust, embarrassment. The few lbs I have gained over the past 7 years added up to an image I did not like seeing. Inhopenyi never see it on me ever again.

Exercising this morning was hard. Really hard. I fumbled through it and wanted to give up. But that image of who I am was in the back of my mind. She was telling me to keep pushing harder. My body ached and my arms and legs shook with the threat of giving out on me. But I did it. And I'm going to do it again tomorrow.

Goodbye to those 4 lbs I lost! I hope I never see you again!

The first day of the rest of my life

2015-01-24T11:31:00.001-07:00

"Mom, why are you so wet?"

I attempted to do a new workout I found online and lasted 10 minutes before I collapsed. I was drenched in sweat and trying to get as much air as I possibly could into my lungs. That's when Zoe gave me a hug. And wondered why I was so "wet."

I am so out of shape.

This is what I get for not exercising for the past five years while having babies. Why in the world did I think it was a good idea to take a break?! If there are any pregnant women out there reading this, please do not, I repeat, DO NOT take a break from exercising. You will regret it just like me.

I am officially done having children so I don't have any more excuses. I am doing my best to drink 100 oz. of water a day and I'm hoping and praying to lose 50 lbs. yes...I really need to lose 50 lbs.

Some may be reading this thinking why is she posting something so personal? I will admit that it is hard for me to do this. I have written posts like this before and deleted them because I chickened out. I don't want anyone to see me so vulnerable. But here I am. The time has come. This is my journey.

One day I am going to look back on these posts and I hope to read them and feel pride in how far I have come. I also hope these posts are encouraging to you too -- whether you are trying to lose weight as well or for another reason.

Today I may have only lasted 10 minutes before I nearly died of a heart attack, but I will do it again tomorrow. Maybe I will last 11 minutes before I fall over. Slow progress is still progress. I have to remind myself of that almost daily.

So this is the first day of the rest of my life. No matter putting it off till next Monday, or after so-and-so's birthday, or right after I eat this last whatever. If I don't start now I may never start.

So...here we go!

New Years Resolutions 2015

2015-01-04T20:12:00.001-07:00

Happy New Years to one and all! I hope the year 2015 brings blessings, health, love, and laughter to each of you.

I have been thinking about the changes I would like to make in this new year. I have written them down and keep them on my smartphone so I can remind myself of them whenever I need to. Here are a few that are on my list:

Devotions with my family. I have wonderful memories of my family gathering together and us reading devotions together and even taking time to pray for our day before it starts. Now that my kids are a little older I am ready to start this routine with my babies.

Lose weight. For the past 5 years I have sacrificed my body for my children. I have experienced 5 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, 4 births, and I have breastfed my children. My body has literally been used and abused and now it's time for me to do what I want to do! It may be a slow process, but I am working on living a healthier life and one day I hope to look and feel better than I do right now!

Organize my house. Starting Monday, January 5th I will be following Home Storage Solutions 101 (http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com) 52-week organizing schedule. My wonderful and supportive husband scoffed when I excitedly told him about the 52 week plan. He said, "52 weeks? I could get it done in 52 days." He's a keeper. I promise. :-)

Frame more pictures. My husband and I have decided to order a new print of our children every month. We need more pictures on the walls of our amazing life!

More potted plants. This may be a silly thing to have on my list, but here it is. So far I have 2 plants in the house (one just might be dead) and I love how it transforms a room! I need more! And I need to keep them alive.

Have a garden. I planted a lot of bulbs last Fall and I really hope they bloom. Also, I would love to try my hand at a small vegetable garden. Nothing too big (yet) just a couple things to get me started.

Spend more time outside. This will happen if I have a successful garden! I also want the kids riding bikes, playing in the sprinklers, and playing with Hurley.

Save money. This may be difficult since we have two weddings to go to this year, but Paul and I have a plan and we will make it happen!

Life Lessons for Mommy #1: There is Power in the Name of Jesus

2014-12-19T19:21:00.001-07:00

Today was a rough day. This mom got very little sleep because one of my children (his name starts with M and ends with aximus) decided to stay up all night long. I am used to Max waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares, but last night was a different story. He decided to stay up and try to raid the fridge, climb on the chairs to get on the table or get into the cupboards -- who knows what all he had planned. I put him to bed multiple times getting more and more frustrated. Before I knew it 8:00 am was here and I had to get out of bed.

For most of the day I felt sorry for myself. I am tired, I'm stressed about not getting my packages sent yet, my hair dryer broke and my hair looks awful because of it, I have the complexion of a teenager, things didn't go my way, the kids are emotional which means I'm emotional... boo.hoo.hoo.

I decided I had enough. I went to my kitchen and I started to clean while listening to old Focus on the Family broadcasts. Once one would end I would start another. After a couple broadcasts I wanted to quit. At least it looked better than it did even though I didn't finish... But I couldn't stop. I kept cleaning, washing sweeping.

It's not very often that my sink is empty and all the dishes put away! It's a Christmas miracle! :-) It obviously doesn't happen enough if I think it's picture worthy.

When it was dinner time I went to get the brand new hug of apple juice out of the fridge for the kids. For some reason I could not open the lid. I tried, and tried, and tried. I wanted to give up, but after listening to one of the Focus on the Family broadcasts I decided I could use this moment as a lesson for my kids. As I was holding the jug of Apple juice I told the kids we needed to pray and ask God to help me open it. All I got out was, "Dear Jesus..." And it opened with very little effort. The kids and I got so excited about God answering our little prayer.

Sometimes we need little reminders of how amazing God is.

There's a song that we sing in church that says there is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain. I love to pray to God and just talk His ear off sometimes. But then there's other times when all you need to do is whisper His name...His beautiful, powerful name that can answer your prayers, take away the pain, calm the nerves, soothe the soul.

After I poured every one a drink I just stood there and thought about the lesson God gave me for the day. We all have hard days. Kids will be kids. Things happen or don't happen. But if I just take the time to whisper Jesus' name...the power that He can give me is amazing!

Merry Christmas!

Gracie

The most wonderful time of the year!

2014-12-02T22:00:00.001-07:00

I used to think Christmas was the best thing ever as a kid...it turns out having kids on Christmas is even better!

We have been slowly getting the house decorated, baking sugar cookies, writing letters to Santa! The kids are so excited. I can't help but smile whenever I watch them.

I found this pretty little Christmas mailbox at the dollar store and decided I needed to start a new tradition with my kids. I asked each kid what they wanted for Christmas using their favorite color and then I let them sign their names at the bottom of their letters with their age. Once they were tucked in for the night "Santa" came to check the mailbox and left a little present behind for them in the morning. I plan on saving the letters in my file so I can look back and see their interests change, their favorite colors change, their handwriting slowly improve over time... I just love traditions when it comes to my own kids!

Paul and Zoe desperately wanted a real Christmas tree this year. Who doesn't? They're so beautiful and smell amazing. There's a guy who is selling beautiful trees on a street corner and we found our perfect little Charlie Brown tree for our little home.

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

Grandma Bunny

2014-11-17T08:22:00.001-07:00

Everyone knew her as Bunny. Thinking back, I don't think I have ever heard anyone call her by her first name. It was always Bunny.

Grandma Bunny was my great grandmother. She had one daughter, Barbara Jean. And through "Bobbie" Grandma Bunny had four granddaughters, twelve great grandchildren, and roughly twenty great-great grandchildren. The number is still rising. :-) She had a large family, and she loved it.

Growing up I remember traveling to Arizona to visit Grandma Bunny. Then about eleven years ago my family and I moved to Arizona and she became a big part of our lives. My mom started taking care of Grandma soon after we moved there. The kids and I would take turns going over with Mom to clean Grandma's house and go to lunch. She loved going to cafes.

One day a boy decided to move down to Arizona so he could be closer to me. Grandma Bunny offered her home to my future husband. She woke him up one minute before his alarm every.single.morning and there was always a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice waiting for him at the breakfast table. Because she knew he loved it. :-)

After I got married, moved away, and started having children, Grandma Bunny had to come with the family when the babies were due. She had to help! She insisted on washing the dishes for us. Granted we had to re-wash them . . . but it's the thought that counts. :-)

On Friday morning Grandma Bunny went Home to be with Jesus. She was ready. I am so happy for her! But I miss her so much already.

Sweet Sleep

2014-10-20T21:32:00.001-06:00

It's 9:00 pm and the house is quiet.

All the lights are off. Everyone is nestled in their beds sleeping soundly. Except for me.

I lay in bed with multiple pillows tucked under my head so I'm sitting up, my reading glasses are on, and my iPad is just bright enough to not bug my husband . . . too much.

As soon as my alarm goes off in the morning I'm thinking about when I will be able to sleep next.

Do I have time for an afternoon nap? Maybe I can get the kids to bed early tonight so I can go to bed.

But it never fails. Once I hug and kiss the last kid and turn all the lights off . . . my mind decides to wake up! I can't fall asleep because I'm thinking and planning and writing to do lists and even writing in my journal to get feelings off my chest and I want to watch one more episode of House Hunters and maybe, just maybe, I will indulge and snack on something and drink my sweet tea in peace -- or iced coffee which is the coffee I started in the morning but finally gave up on finishing it because I was constantly interrupted.

Not that this ever happens. :-)

I search Pinterest for ideas on how to decorate my home for the holidays, my next meal for my family, maybe some DIY projects. I write down things I want to do, buy, make, etc. Then I look up organizing tips because I need help. Again, I write down things to help me stay organized. I look up party ideas as I daydream about throwing fun get togethers "just because" and inviting people over so they can ooh and ahh over all the little details I put together to make the party perfect. I write down a list of holidays I can have people over for. Then I lay there thinking about how I left the house in disarray. I'm too tired to get up and clean, but now I can't sleep thinking about the messy state in which my house is in. I write down a detailed to do list of what I want to get done around the house the next morning.

After writing multiple lists I lay there starting to feel tired. I feel like I have done the trick and I can finally go to sleep. Sure it's after midnight, but I was able to help myself get groggy. Hmm . . .

Finally, I lay my head down and whisper my prayers to Jesus. I thank Him for the day He has given me. I thank Him for my husband, my children, my family, my friends. I thank Him for our health and safety. I thank Him for the tiny, messy home I live in. And then I pray that He will help me to work harder next time. Help me have more motivation to get things done. And I also pray that my husband and children will always love and appreciate me.

And then . . . my body relaxes. I feel Mr. Sandman bring me a dream.

Two hours later I'm awakened by Phebe who is hungry and someone has to go potty. Oh well.

There Will Be Blood

2014-10-16T16:48:00.001-06:00

My children are early risers. They love to wake up before the sun and, well, wreak havoc.

My boys wake up anywhere from 6:45 - 7:00 a.m. They take this quiet time before the rest of the house is awake to eat a whole box of cereal or a whole loaf of bread. An early morning snack before breakfast, of course.

I dread mornings.

A few days ago my daughter came into my room and said, "Mom, the boys have blood all over their face." I jumped out of bed to find my boys playing in the living room, in the dark, with what appeared to be blood all over their face and arms.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was freaking out inside. I checked their bodies for gashes or something, all the while asking the boys what happened. Did they get in a fight? What in the world?!

It wasn't long before I decided to check their bedroom. Once I turned on the light I felt like I walked into a horror film. There was "blood" everywhere. Handprints all over the bedding, the walls -- there were even bloody handprints leading up to their window so I'm assuming they were hoping to flee the crime scene that way.

Then I found it.

The answer to all of my questions sat right in the middle of the floor.

An empty jar of strawberry jam.

One of these days, when my boys are older, they are going to pay for this. How, you may ask?

I'm not sure yet. But I have this picture to remind me of all the craziness they put me through so I will never forget!