While the “Stir” in question refers to stirring a coffee cup (as in, here’s some articles that are just like a morning conversation with your friend over a cup of coffee), it really ends up being about controversial articles that stir up the crowd.

I’ve written some funny posts, some serious ones, and plenty that got lots of readers angry enough to write comments. Thankfully there’s always a good (many times equal) amount of readers who get my back and tell everyone else to just relax. It was thanks to a few Stir articles about 50 Shades of Grey that I ultimately got to appear on Katie Couric’s new talk show Katie and be interviewed right next to 50 Shades author E.L. James. Crazy but fun.

Now, once again thanks to The Stir, I’m on the Today Show. Or at least on the TodayShow.com. This morning, a friend alerted me that my latest hornet’s nest of  an article from The Stir was being discussed on TodayShow.com, even making it on to the front page of the website!

In the article called Blogger calls only children obnoxious, selfish, Dana Macario points out a few of my reasons for calling Parents of an Only Child, Selfish. She also included a number of quotes from angry readers who left comments on the article. While Macario didn’t choose sides, she clearly seemed to lean towards the readers, citing how I used “inflammatory language.” She pointed out the few positives I mentioned in having siblings but quickly countered with much lengthier quotes from the other side.

It was great that she spoke with a social psychologist about it as well, but it would have been nice to have seen some other quotes from readers, parents or therapists who agreed with me.

Now I’ll just have to sit back and wait for Matt Lauer to bring me on the set of the Today Show to truly round out this story.

Rejection. We face it all the time in life. Whether it’s with relationships, job applications or bank loans, it doesn’t matter. Rejection hurts.

With the exception of relationships, you can be pretty certain that most rejections are anything but personal. And even then, most of the times I’m sure it’s “them” and not you.

As a writer, we’re faced with rejection everywhere we look. When applying for new jobs. When pitching new articles. Even when submitting an article and having your editor rip it to shreds. It may be business, but rejection still hurts.

Writers generally welcome constructive criticism. I know I do. I never want to just “settle” when I’m writing something. It doesn’t matter if it’s a blog post, a feature article or even a photo caption. I want to make sure that my writing is as good as it can be. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t get upset when someone offers me some suggestions.

In the past, I used to get my feathers ruffled a bit when an article would come back with loads of red marks throughout and tons of follow-up questions. “I’m the author. What I wrote was gold!” I’d say to myself. Well, not out loud anyways. But you get the gist.

Articles are like a writer’s baby. We know assistance can improve the little guy, but we all like to think we’re the best parents around and we don’t need any help. Only with practice, acceptance and even a little humility can we all accept help with open arms.

While I still want my work to be 100% perfect every time I’m done with it, I no longer get upset when asked for changes or rewrites. I write two columns a week for CafeMom’s The Stir. And while many of the readers may end up bashing me for my columns (Sad but true fact #7: The comments on any of my Stir articles are generally crazy, vicious and way more entertaining than the actual posts.), they’d be floored if they knew that my wife actually helps me with them.

Since I’m writing about topics from a male perspective for a female audience, I want to make sure that what I’m saying makes sense and doesn’t cross any lines. Yes, I have an editor (And Catherine and Suzanne each rock in their own way), but before I even submit anything to them, I run some of my articles by my wife first. Sometimes she’ll offer tiny suggestions, other times she’ll tell me it’s just not funny at all and I’ll start over.

Then there’s my editor Nina over at Zamzee. She’s a big fan of red pens I imagine, since she loves to mix things up on the articles I’ve written. She’ll move paragraphs around, suggest different directions, and ask a few specific questions. And in the end, every single one of my articles is way stronger than when it began.

Now that’s criticism, not rejection. Two different things that overlap a bit. So how do you handle out-and-out rejection whether it’s a job or a story pitch? The same way. With your head held high.

I’ve applied to tons of jobs (both freelance and full-time). If I even hear back from 25% of them, I’m lucky. Usually it’s like I’m talking to thin air. So when I get a rejection back, yeah I’m upset, but I’m happy I’ve at least been acknowledged. Plus, they might keep my resume on file and after applying or pitching a number of times, they may get used to seeing my name. Perhaps at one point, they’ll even accept my story idea or application.

The bottom line is: Don’t let rejection stop you. Let it inspire you. When a football team makes it to the Super Bowl and they end up losing by one stinking point, do they quit playing? No. They work even harder over the off-season and come back fighting even tougher the next season.

Learn from your mistakes. If you’re rejected, try following up. Thank the company or person for taking the time to at least get back to you. And ask if they can offer any advice. Why weren’t you a good fit? What was wrong with your story pitch? What could you have done better to increase your chances? Any information you can gleam from them will be helpful. Plus, they may even be impressed that you’re the type of person who’s looking to improve themselves.

Every writer faces rejection at some point. Some more than others. It’s not the rejection that really matters, though. It’s how you handle it that makes all the difference in the world.

Over on my Daddy Blog Mommy’s Busy… Go Ask Daddy, I often write about my family, mixed in with plenty of reviews and giveaways. Things tend to center around movies, video games, superheroes and food. Oreos in particular.

One of the reviews I published this year was for Zamzee, a really neat electronic device that encourages children to be more active. To sum it up quickly, the Zamzee meter gets kids to treat exercise like a video game. Pretty ingenious if you ask me.

Anyways, I’m not writing this to plug Zamzee or my own personal blog. No, that’s just a free side effect. Instead, I want to talk about how writing one small review has led to a wonderful relationship.

Whenever I work with a brand or company, I try to be as communicative as I can. I always let them know what I think of their product, when I plan on writing about them, and asking any questions I may have. So when I posted my Zamzee review and told the company that my kids were really taking to it, I actually got a nice email response, that let to lots more correspondence.

Zamzee was truly interested in what I had to say. They’re a fairly new company, seriously dedicated to getting kids more active. After a number of emails, I actually set up a few phone calls to share my thoughts with the company and they even wanted to interview my two kids to ask them some questions. It was a great experience all around.

Then a few months later, I heard from Zamzee again, saying they really loved my writing and wanted me to write a series of articles to post on their blog. They’re looking for parents to share personal anecdotes about the outdoors or exercising with their kids, along with whatever life lessons happen to come with the package.

Why am I telling you all this? To rub your nose in it, of course! No, no. Just kidding. My point here, or life lesson if you will, is not to get you to go start a personal blog and hope it leads to some freelance writing work down the road. Uh uh. It’s to show you that writing assignments can come from anywhere.

Networking is critical in any career, but especially for freelancers. You need to hunt and gather your own work on a daily basis. Keeping those connections going will almost certainly lead towards more work. Never ever stop looking or asking for a chance to write for someone.

Please check out my first post for Zamzee, How (NOT) to Help Your Kid Train for a One-Mile Running Race, and let me know what you think!

Have you ever had a writing assignment fall into your lap?

Photo via Daniel Oines/Flickr

Tecca.com is shutting down today. As a regular contributor to the site, I received the news a few days ago from our fearless VP of Content via a group email. While I haven’t written as much as I would’ve liked for the tech-centric site, I’ve loved every single article they published of mine. And yes, I’ve loved tons more on their site that I didn’t write too.

Unlike any other online company I’ve worked for,though,  the editorial team at Tecca was never in it for the quick scoop. Every article (whether a product review or gallery feature looking at 10 movies to keep you occupied until the Avengers 2 comes out) was painstakingly reviewed. You wouldn’t just write an article and post it, disregarding typos and poor grammar. At least three editors (usually more) would give your column a good hard look. And not just for copy editing.

I’ve had a few articles tossed back my way for clarification on specific sections, tightening needed in others, as well as general info about SEO, internal links, photos, etc. Many times comments were tossed back my way, even if the problems were already fixed. In short, Tecca’s editors didn’t just want us to hand in stories, they wanted us to hand in great stories. And they also didn’t want to just “Fix” things for us, they wanted us to learn. Learn how to not just write in Tecca’s style, but learn how to write better overall. That’s almost unheard of these days in terms of online publishing.

It was truly a pleasure working with Tecca’s knowledgeable editorial team and I’ll really miss the interesting story angles they loved taking on anything tech-related.

I couldn’t have asked for a better Editor-in-Chief than Dan O’Halloran. He was insanely supportive of my writing and worked real closely with me on many difficult assignments. Barb Dybwad was the most accessible VP of Content I’ve ever worked with, constantly reaching out to the entire editorial team for minor comments, feedback, or with loads of new potential assignments. And then there was Liz Harper, Michael Gray, Jennifer Jolly, Lisa Poisso, and tons more. They all helped me out in more ways than they’ll ever know and I wish each and every one of them tremendous luck as they move on to new careers.

If your company is in need of some seriously awesome editors, you couldn’t do much better than any of these guys. Somebody please hire them all!

As much fun as it’s been writing for Tecca and reading all the unique articles on their site, there’s been just as much fun behind the scenes. Whether it’s been through chat rooms or project management posts on Tecca’s Basecamp, or just through super long email threads that are half full of various LOLCats.

It’s truly been a pleasure and a blast, Tecca. Thank you for letting me be a part (a small part at least) of your technical wonder.

As a freelance writer, the most important thing to do is get that next job. There are oodles of ways to do this including building a website and climbing up the search rankings. You can advertise. You can aggressively go after job leads on various freelance job boards. Cold call companies. In fact, you should be doing all of those.

But another great way to make new assignments and get pitched jobs is to add your name to a writing group like the Freelance Writer Directory. I recently discovered this great resource and quickly added my own profile. Yes, it costs $10 to submit your profile, but that’s it. A one-time fee to be added to a great list. Besides writing out a nice paragraph or two about my skills and experiences, I was able to add my website, and links to all my social media accounts. I also selected appropriate categories that I’m qualified to write about. This is a no-frills type of site, so there aren’t many bells or whistles to distract users or keep them from finding your information. It’s a straight-up resource that lists freelance writers according to their skills.

The neat thing about the site is that potential clients can browse through the categories to find targeted freelancers. It’s pretty much exactly what I’ve been looking for and hope more people and employers start using in their search for writers. What I really do love about the site, though, is that Social Media/Blogging Expert Kristi Hines is behind the whole thing. I just love Kristi’s blog Kikolani, which is full of insanely helpful and informative tips, resources, and information about writing and marketing. Plus, Kristi is seriously one of the nicest people I’ve ever gotten to know.

You can expect to see loads of helpful freelance tips on the site too, like the latest blog post: Get Paid to Write – The Ultimate Resource List of Blogs That Pay for Content. Really really helpful list!

One thing I would love to see on here though is some sort of rating system where clients can either leave comments or a thumbs up or something about a specific freelancer. I know that could end up getting messy if freelancers start sabotaging other writers to make themselves look better, but maybe Kristi can add some sort of moderation or testimonials tied to LinkedIn or something.

If you’re a freelancer looking to get a lot more exposure, I highly recommend submitting a listing to the Freelance Writer Directory. It’s the write thing to do.

Do you know of any Writing Directories? Let me know in the comments below!

Photo via Kristin Nador/Flickr.

That’s not to say I won’t write things for free if I want to. Often I’ll just want to promote a person, brand, or product because I really do like them and want to spread the word. But when people come looking to “hire” you for “free,” that’s when you need to pull this sign out!

Source: To-day-The-day

The talented folks over at 24SevenTalent created a pretty neat infographic that delves into the mind of a freelancer, as scary as that sounds. There’s some neat info in here, particularly on what prompted employees to forego the 9-to-5 gig in favor of full-time freelance. Surprisingly, being laid off from a previous job wasn’t the #1 reason.

There’s also the fact that the longer you’re a freelancer, the less likely you are to return to a “regular” permanent job. I’ve been on my own for a few years now and the thought of going back to work full time for someone else is certainly getting less and less appealing as time marches on.

I wish the info graph also included some facts like: biggest obstacles facing a freelancer today, average annual income for a freelancer, and types of jobs freelancers hold. Maybe someone will do a follow-up.

What is your biggest obstacle as a freelancer?

Via: Mashable

The serial comma is one of those crazy annoying loopholes of grammar that defies all rules. In other words, you can use a serial comma or you can leave it out. Either way is acceptable and technically correct. Why the Grammar Police were playing so fast and loose with comma rules centuries ago, I have no clue.

At this point, you either strongly agree with me, are ready to have words with me or have no idea what the heck I’m talking about and you’re wondering what any of this has to do with Dexter. For starters, let me explain what a serial comma is.

When listing three, 10 or even 100 items, it’s your choice whether to place a comma before the “and” near the end of the list. The following two sentences are both correct.

My favorite superheroes are Captain America, Spider-Man and Batman.
My favorite superheroes are Captain America, Spider-Man, and Batman.

See, that last comma after Spider-Man in the second example isn’t necessary. Again it’s not wrong, just not necessary.

My problem is that there are times it is necessary to clarify what you are saying. Take this example:

My favorite sushi rolls are tuna, salmon and avocado and eel.

Without a serial comma, that sentence is a little confusing. Do I like salmon and avocado rolls? Or do I like avocado and eel rolls? Technically, they’re all good to me! But in this specific case, I would put a comma after avocado, because I was really referring to a salmon and avocado roll.

And that’s exactly the source of all my comma hatred. It’s not necessary to use a serial comma, but it can make sentences clearer at times. Personally, I just hate how the serial comma looks in a sentence. It’s ugly and just gets in my way. It slows me down while reading, even though it doesn’t have to.

Part of my problem, I guess, is that I spent a number of years working as a magazine editor. Most magazines and newspapers have their own style rules, which generally dictate to not use a serial comma. So it’s clearly been ingrained in my head already. On the flip side, I’m someone who hates exceptions to the rule. I enjoy symmetry and if something’s not evenly balanced, my OCD will kick in and make it line up.

That’s the crux of my internal balance with the serial comma. I hate it. I don’t want to use it. I hate how it looks. But I also know that it’s a necessary tool… sometimes. And that’s the part I really hate. It can be used sometimes, not all the times. For consistency’s sake, you should just use it all the time then. Even if you’re using it unnecessarily like 80% of the time.

The always punctual Grammar Girl wrote a great article about the Serial Comma (go check it out!). She explains the whole thing much better than I ever could. And while she favors using the serial comma in all instances, she does point out that it is a style choice.

Where does that leave me? Angry, frustrated and dazed and confused…

How much do you loathe the serial comma?

Sure, getting paid is always a great motivator! But sometimes you just feel so overwhelmed by everything that you don’t even know where to begin. Toss in a zillion distractions, and even if you do finally dive in, you’ll quickly be pulled right back out. So in an effort to help myself get motivated, I’ve come up with a list of 10 ways to stay focused and get the job done.

Turn off the music – I used to crank out tunes non-stop when I worked. If it was super quiet, I just couldn’t concentrate. Nowadays, I’m finding the opposite is true. I’m either getting caught up in the music and not paying attention to my writing, or I spend half my time digging through iTunes trying to find a song I like.

Stop being social – Twitter and Facebook are evil, time-sucking demons. There, I said it. It’s true. Don’t believe me? Try this experiment. Keep a pen and paper by your computer. Make a tick mark for every single time you check your Facebook or Twitter timeline. No, you can’t cheat. At the end of the day, look at how many pages of paper you’ve used up. It’s pretty shocking actually. Even just a quick check can add up if you’re doing it every 5 or 10 minutes. So to be safe, do not access those sites while you’re working. Or shut them off and give yourself an hour or two to work before taking a quick peek.

Make a To-Do list – The first thing to put on your To-Do list is simple: Make a To-Do list. That’s one thing to scratch off! Physically make a list on a piece of paper, rather than on your computer. Jot down a handful of things you want to get done today. As you finish them, cross them off your list. That feeling of accomplishment will go a long way towards keeping you motivated. Be sure to start your list over every single day. The act of writing stuff down keeps your head concentrating on the high-priority tasks. Plus you’ll get sick of writing that same item 10 days in a row, so you’ll finally finish it just to get it off your list.

Create small piles – My wife taught me this one years ago. At my first job, I had this massive amount of paperwork that needed to be sorted a certain way. We’re talking hundreds of printouts. Easy work, but there was sooo much of it. I stared at the 200-foot tall pile and just couldn’t even get started. She told me to simply make small piles. She took a small handful, and handed it to me. I got through that small pile and put it aside. Then I took another, and so on. Before I knew it, I was done. Apply this to anything you do in life when you feel overwhelmed. Have a 5,000 word report to do? Give yourself small goals. Get 500 words done this hour. Then another 500. Etc. By breaking down the bigger picture, you’ll have smaller bites that will be way easier to chew.

Get dressed – If you’re working from home, this is one of the biggest things to do. Yes, it’s crazy comfortable to work in your PJs, but your mind will still be in sleepy, I-just-woke-up mode… for the entire day. Getting dressed just helps re-focus your head and get you in the right frame of mind to work.

Stop messaging this instant – Whether it’s texting on your phone or using an Instant Messenger client, just stop. It’s easy to get caught up in conversations that certainly won’t do you any good. So shut down your IM client and turn off your phone’s notifications while you’re working.

No kids allowed – Again, if you’re working at home, little munchkins can be the biggest distraction in the universe. Not just by constantly running into your office to show you how the Hulk can smash apart a Lego castle, but also because you’ll hear them having a blast as they run around the house, and you’ll want to join them. While you can’t ship them off to Siberia (please do not try this at home), you can try to adjust your work schedule around your kids. Also, close your door and make sure they understand they’re not allowed to bother you while you’re at work. Yeah, easier said then done.

Schedule email time - If you’re anything like me, you check your inbox roughly once every 8 seconds. Call it an OCD, but yeah, I check in on my email accounts way more than I should. Instead, I’m going to try to limit myself to reading and responding to emails every hour. It’ll be tough at first, but once I’m in the groove, it shouldn’t be so bad. If there’s any sort of emergency, someone can just pick up the phone, right?

Clean up your desk – Yes, it sounds counterproductive to stop working and just organize your papers, files, etc, but it’s not. A clutter-free desk will look nicer and give off a sort of calming feeling, but also the act of cleaning things up will give you that sense of accomplishment. Even doing a super minor thing like filing bills can help. It’s one less thing to keep nagging you in the back of your mind.

Make yourself comfortable – But not too comfortable! Don’t start working on your laptop in bed. But make sure your chair is comfortable with enough back support, and that you have wrist guards for your keyboard and even mouse if needed. Adjust your monitor’s height, take care of any glares, etc. Over time, these things can really bother you and start hurting. Boring tasks become 50 times more difficult to finish when your back is screaming at you in pain.

 What do you guys do to stay focused at work?
Let me know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Our iZombie eSurvival Guide Can Save Your iLife

I wrote this post for CowBoom.com and it really was as much fun as it looks. The tough part about writing for Cowboom is tying a fun, unique topic into a general electronics theme. I’m pretty free to write about anything I want as long as it ties into the type of items they sell on their site, so brainstorming is always the toughest part. My timing with this Zombie Survival Guide couldn’t have been more perfect, considering the awful Zombie News from Miami that happened this week.

Classic Toys Ruined by Tech

My first article for Techlicious was a complete blast to write. I had to find classic toys that were completely ruined by technology updates. This was the type of article I used to work on years ago when I was the Editor of ToyFare magazine. I just started working for Techlicious, but I really love the story angles they come up with.

10 Superheroes Primed For Avengers 2

If you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a comic book geek. After seeing the Avengers movie, I just had to write this post for BitRebels.com about who I think will make it into the sequel. Again, this is the type of pop-culture, comic book article I used to write about on a daily basis back in my Wizard Entertainment publishing days. So it certainly felt good to put on the superhero gloves again.

Boy Dies After Eating a Cookie: Every Food Allergy Parent’s Worst Nightmare

I usually write humorous posts for The Stir (well, at least I think they’re funny!), but this latest one was dead serious. After reading about 15-year-old boy who died of an allergic reaction recently, I felt it was time to write about what being a parent of a kid with food allergies is really like. My oldest son has severe allergies to tree nuts and seeds, so my wife and I have been dealing with it for years. It was actually quite gratifying to share this story as well as see so many great comments from other parents in similar situations.

We test drive Samsung’s new NX smart wifi cameras

When my friend Ethan (who works in PR at Samsung) invited me to the latest Samsung event at CitiField recently, there was no way I was passing that up! I enjoyed a gorgeous suite, a great Mets baseball game, awesome food and got to take Samsung’s newest digital cameras for a test drive. I wrote the event up as my first ever review article for Tecca and was really happy with how it came out.

  I’d appreciate any comments and social shares on any of these articles!

Which one was your favorite? Tell me in the comments below.