A Rowe

The Meaning of Life.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:42:29 PST

Can I share something from my journal with you?
I don't know how to explain except in its most raw form;

"I want you to fill my life.
I don't want to be effected by social media, by magazine articles, by public opinions, by the idea of getting married........I want to be effected by Jesus Christ alone. Isolate me.
Make me radical.
I want to be the crazy girl who is in love with Jesus Christ.
I want to glow with your light.
I want to GO where you lead me.
And right now, that is California Baptist University.
This summer, that is Modesto, California.
Your workers are few. Daddy, I want to be a full time worker. Make me bold enough to ask for the opportunity to do so. I want to go where you lead me to go. I want to love your children. I want to love your lost sheep. I want your kingdom to be known here on earth. I want your name to be proclaimed.

I want my heart to be filled completely with your love.
I want my heart to be hidden by YOUR NAME.
God, may my life scream of you, but not so that I may seem better---but so that your name will be known. Rid me of myself, I belong to you.

It's not about becoming the woman of Christ who deserves a wonderful husband and children---- BUT the woman of Christ who will be clothed in strength and dignity; willing to fight for His kingdom and expand it to the ends of the earth.

Take me where you need me to go. Show me how to love like you have loved me. Challenge every thought I've ever had. Transform my heart and mind completely. Make me more like you. I want to love your sons and daughters the way that I love my own family members. You are King of my life. Reign.

Daddy, I am kissing dating goodbye. When I say this I mean that I am kissing dreaming of my future husband goodbye. I am kissing planning my wedding goodbye. I am kissing naming my future children goodbye. I am kissing daydreaming about a cute boy I just met goodbye. I am kissing seeing the opposite gender as anything but a brother in Christ goodbye. I am kissing the urge to pursue the idea of marriage goodbye.

I am young. In essence, I could have a lot of life ahead of me. I don't know how many days you have allowed me on this earth and that challenges me to allow you to be the head of my life. I want you to be my compass. Guide me along your paths of righteousness and truth. You are King.

1 Timothy 4:12 -- Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example to all believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.

Life isn't about finding the right man. It's not about being well-liked. It's not about looking like you have everything together.

Life is about falling on your face and worshipping Jesus Christ. It's about giving up everything you have so that you might try to repay him for all that he has done for you. But knowing that you could never come close to doing so. Life is about honoring the name of the Lord and being still and quiet in his presence, enjoying what he has blessed you with. Life is about loving like Jesus has loved with the quiet hope that those you are loving may experience the same restoration and power that Jesus Christ has allowed you. Life is about being absolutely frail and weak so that through you Christ may be shown as strong and mighty as he truly is. Life is about being honest and true. Life is about love; because God is love.

I'm not satisfied with the life that I'm living because I haven't given up everything for Jesus Christ. I give up Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest for the unforeseeable future. I give up dating. I give up allowing myself to pull away from friendships in Modesto. I give up being apathetic about life. I give up allowing myself to dabble in shallow friendships. I give up my halfway attempt at fully seeking God's will for my life. I give up control. I give up everything because in comparison to Jesus' love and redemption--- I count it all as absolutely pointless."

I want more of Jesus Christ. I want him to reign fully over my life. I want to pack up my things and follow wherever he leads, whenever he leads, for however long he leads. He is God. He needs more workers. Here I am, send me.

End result.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:56:35 PST

The end result is not marriage.

God did not create men and women so that they could get married. He did bless us with that opportunity, but he created us to bring glory and honor and power to His name.

The world has corrupted our view of marriage. It has become the highest goal in life. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't struggle with the urge to find, fall in love with, and marry the perfect man right away. We are a people of instant gratification and we have been deceived to believe that we deserve to find love, happiness, and a family of our own right away. Some right out of high school, some out of college, and we think if you have to wait much longer than that then you are missing out.

What's the rush?

Why do we rush into this so quickly? Why do we think this will solve all of our problems?

No one on this earth is going to satisfy your needs like Jesus Christ can (and will). You will always be disappointed unless you lay a foundation of His love and mercy in your life. You will never truly be happy if your roots have not grown deep into his love and forgiveness. You are never going to feel beautiful enough, worthy enough, or useful enough if you don't seek Him above all else.

Being single is a gift. God has provided us with this beautiful time in our lives to learn who we are, what we love, and grow deeply in our relationship with him.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 -- I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you save the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

In this time when you are single, you don't have to worry about your husband, what his favorite meal is and how long it's going to take you to prepare it before he gets home from work, you don't have kids to watch, you don't have to have a schedule that works around each member of your family, you don't have to give your attention and affection to your spouse, you don't have to drive a mini van to soccer practice...everything you have can be laid as an offering to God. You are a free agent. You are able to pick up and go whenever you need to be...wherever you need to be.

I'm not trying to bash on marriage at all. Marriage is one of the greatest gifts we will ever receive, but what's the rush?

Jesus created us to be more than just a wife. He created us to be his children. He created us to be his ambassadors. He created us to go to all nations proclaiming his name. He created us to be whole and complete in his name. Why not give him everything and see what he can do with it? Why not sacrifice all of our time for his purpose? He is God. Don't you think he knows what he's doing?

The end result is the day we see Jesus face to face.
Do you want to get there and realize you lived your entire life with marriage as your idol? Your boyfriend was your idol? Having children was your idol? Becoming a missionary was your idol?
Anything you put before Christ is an idol.
Are you living for Christ...or are you living because you are going to be a wife, mother, home-maker, worker for the Kingdom? Would you so fervently chase after Proverbs 31 if you knew that God didn't plan for you to be married?

Colossians 3:11 -- Christ is all that matters and he's living in all of us.

God's truth.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:20:16 PST

We need to hear the truth. God's word brings truth. He erases the lies, deceptions, doubts, fears, and half-truths that Satan likes to whisper into our ears.
We can't keep sugar-coating our sin, lying to ourselves saying it's not as bad as it is. We are called to be honest in our estimate of ourselves, thinking of others as greater than we are. God exalts the humbled and humbles those who exalt themselves. God is blunt with what he has to say...so how come we feel like we can't be? Life is about Jesus. We need to be brutally honest with ourselves and with others.

Truth.

You do not have to be perfect. God didn't create you to be perfect. He created you to bring glory to himself and showcase his glory, not yours.

God knows that you are going to mess up-- that's why he sent his Son to save you. Because we cannot do it on our own. And we were never meant to.

1 John 1:5-10 -- This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

You sin. You sinned yesterday. You will sin tomorrow. But Jesus loves you and has redeemed you by his blood.

Your worth is not determined by your actions.
Your worth is determined by your birth.

God created Proverbs 31 for women to see who he intends us to be, but not because the end result is marriage-- but because the end result is eternity in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ.

You are beautiful. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. The King is enthralled by your beauty. You were made in God's image.

If God didn't love you-- nobody would because God is love. Commit your life to him because he has cleansed you. Love him the way he deserves to be loved---because he loved you, as undeserving as you are.

The world influences you. It has influenced your view of marriage, sex, dating, friendship, families, and your own self image. But Jesus calls us to be set apart. You cannot serve two masters; choose Jesus.

You are young and free. Don't be in a hurry to get married, graduate, travel, have kids...live for today. (Matthew 6:34 -- So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.)

You need Jesus. No one else can fill you the way that he can. Stop settling for less than having your soul absolutely filled with Jesus Christ.

It's not okay to simply go to church every week. It's not okay to be emotional every Sunday and change absolutely nothing about your life.

Romans 12:2 -- Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Let go. Let God transform you. Stop making excuses. Ask God to clear your mind. Ask him to open your eyes. Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened.

Are you okay with less than God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect?

Let him free you. Give him everything.
His truth doesn't change.
He never changes.
He loves you.
He adores you.
He died for you.

Live for him.

Release.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:15:04 PST

Jesus runs a hard bargain.

Luke 14:33 -- So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.

Luke 9:23-34 -- Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

Luke 10:1-3 -- After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves."

He wants all of us. And we fidget, struggle, and run...but when I think about it...doesn't he deserve more than even that? He restored our souls, he redeemed our lives, he cleansed our impurities. He has made us clean. He saved us. He paid the full price for our salvation. And we don't even want to give him everything we have? What good is any of the things we have anyway? Isn't he more sovereign than your best friend? Your boyfriend? Your favorite TV show? Your favorite song? Your favorite movie? Playing sports? Going out on dates? Isn't he more beautiful, wonderful, sovereign, loving, caring, and perfect than anyone you've ever met? Do you realize what he's done for you? Do you realize who he is? Do you realize that he loves you? He wants to build you up, restore you, care for you, transform you, heal you, and free you. God is love. You think you know love? You think you love your boyfriend? Do you love this world? Really?

Is your love patient? kind? not envious? not boastful? not proud? does it honor others? is it selfish? are you easily angered? do you keep record of wrongs? does it rejoice in the truth, even when the truth is harder to hear? is it protective? trustworthy? hopeful? perseverant? does it ever fail?

The world has watered down the meaning of the word love so much that it is almost not even one worth using anymore. Shows like The Bachelor and people like Kim Kardashian make love into a huge joke. Nobody stays married anymore, everyone is on this desperate, painful search for love in their life. It's funny that everyone is searching for love...when 1 John 4:7-8 clearly states: Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. Everyone who is searching for love...although they aren't aware, they are searching for God because God is love. He created love and he is the ultimate example of love.

John 3:16 -- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Love is a gift. It's giving of yourself. Loves isn't taking for yourself. It's giving up yourself for others. Love is an action, not a feeling. It's a choice. Nobody truly wants to lay down themselves for anyone else, but Jesus is the ultimate example of how we should live and he gave himself for us...so why shouldn't we do the same for him? Considering we are the least deserving. We did absolutely nothing to make ourselves worth this sacrifice. He did everything. He paid it all. He is love.

1 John 4:10 -- This is real love-- not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

1 John 4:16-17 -- We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

So, if you believe that Jesus Christ is who he says he is. Give everything up for him. If you can't do that, then what are you doing? What's the point?

Mark 8:36-38 -- And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory or his Father with the holy angels.

It's not worth having

If it's too much to hold

You can dig so deep

That you're left with a hole

Thirsty in the desert with a bag full of gold

Don't wanna end up like pirate bones

Reality.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:19:49 PST

When it hits, it hits us pretty hard. It strikes us in places we didn't realize it possibly could. Everything seems to be going fairly well, and then...reality.

But this time reality for me has a different meaning.

Reality for me is that Jesus Christ died for my sins. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. Reality reminds me that my heart, soul, mind, strength, body, emotions, love, and life belong to Jesus Christ. I am covered in His blood and that is the only reason that I am clean. That is the only reason I have breath. The only reason I am alive; Jesus Christ. He has made me new-- through His love and sacrifice I have been redeemed.

Colossians 1:22 --Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

God sent Jesus to reconcile for me because I couldn't do it on my own. Reality.

I cannot do this life thing on my own. I can try and try and try, but I don't know anything compared to the infinite value of God's wisdom, truth, and reality. He knows the plans he has for me...I don't even know what job I'm going to have, I don't even know what classes I'll take next semester, I don't know which of my friends are actually going to be in my wedding...none of that matters.

Philippians 3:7-11 -- I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

Nothing is worth being distracted from Jesus Christ. The love that he has shown to me is absolutely everything I could ever want in a love story. He came to me, pursued me, rescued me, changed me, transformed me, and never once questioned his love for me. He loved me always. It didn't matter how many nice things I did for him or how few; he loved me. And he will always love me. If he didn't love me then nobody would because he is love.

1 John 4:16-19 -- We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.

I guess I've come here today to 'publicly proclaim' what reality God has revealed to my heart. And that is this; the future is not now. I am an eighteen year old college student with big ideas, big dreams, and a bright future. I have a passion for ministry, missions work, and I definitely would love to be a wife and mother someday. But today, I am an eighteen year old college student. I am completely one hundred percent single. I am a daughter, friend, sister, and peer. I am a follower of Jesus Christ.

The future is a really cool item to fixate on, but the reality is...what good is it for me to sit around thinking about the future? Here and now, I am still a follower of Jesus Christ. I have a duty to live out his purpose for each day of my life in its absolute fullness.

Matthew 6:34 -- So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

I have this disposition of urgency-- the need to get things done right away and be really excited about them. But Jesus Christ asks me to be still in his presence and enjoy who he is and decipher who he intends for me to be.

Exodus 14:14 -- The Lord himself will fight for you. You need only be still.

The world offers satisfaction at our fingertips. It promotes going after what you want right when you find it, taking matters into your own hands, and doing whatever it takes to receive what you 'deserve'. The world is obsessed with instant gratification. We want everything right away. But Jesus Christ is a God of sovereign timing. He is a God who isn't even phased by time. Our desperation for things happening now and being in our control doesn't change who he is and what he has planned for us. We need to rest in his provision for the day that we have been given today.

Truly, from my heart, I believe that Jesus wants us to enjoy every detail of the day that we have been blessed with today. He is looking for ways to show us that we are blessed, to prove to us that he loves us so much, and to draw us closer into his arms. He wants what's best for us. He loves us unconditionally. So why not give him every detail of our lives? The first step is the most difficult, but in his strength and mercy we are made beautiful and blameless. We can stand before him without fault because the blood of Jesus Christ encompasses our very being. Nothing we do has ever made Jesus love us more, we are unworthy. At the same time...nothing can separate us from his love. He is love.

The reality is God loves you, so much.

Die to yourself; live for him.

Colossians 2:6-7 -- And now, just as you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Seek him. You'll find him. It's not going to be easy, but

Matthew 10:38 -- Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Luke 9:62 -- But Jesus told him, "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God."

Let. Go. Of. The. Future.

Freedom in God's sovereignty awaits you.

Transformation.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:16:15 PST

Changed perspective. Wow, God is good.

Romans 12:2 -- Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

2 Corinthians 5:17 -- This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

2 Corinthians 10:18 -- When people commend themselves, it doesn't count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.

Ephesians 6:12 -- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but agains the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Grace > Pride.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:13:07 PST

Psalm 51:17 -- The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

In my heart right now, God is cleansing and purifying. He led me to what is called the 'Brokenness Bookmark'. And it has spoken to my heart;

Proud people have a subconscious feeling, "This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts"; they think of what they can do for God. Broken people's heart attitude is "I don't deserve to have a part in any ministry", they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus through their broken lives.

Proud people are confident in how much they know. Broken people are humbled by how much they have to learn.

Proud people are self-conscious. Broken people are not concerned with self at all.

These are all things I have been struggling with.
And I'm starting to see that it's because I don't understand God's grace. I don't understand the severity and disgust of my sin; so I can't understand how huge a deal it is that God would send his son to die for it. I've gone to church my entire life, but I still don't get it. In fact, I know less than a lot of new Christians. I haven't allowed myself to experience God's grace because I've been too busy keeping up the 'Church girl' persona. There's an expectation from children whose parents are very active in the church to either completely rebel and run away or remain perfect and blameless forever. Both are stupid. I want to be a daughter of the King. Free from all the expectations of the world, seeking only after God's own heart. I want to love what he loves, care about who he cares about, and follow wherever he leads. I'm tired of trying to become-- I want to simply cease striving and know that He is God.

I'm currently in the midst of allowing God to see that I know the severity of my sin. He knows the depths of my heart and he loves me the same, but I'm not willing to let him have it all. I'd rather hold it all in, hide it, and remain quiet. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to let people in for fear that they might let me down. But you know what? God wants me to be fearless in His name. He will give me the strength, peace, and grace that I don't deserve, yet he has showered over my life.

If you are not honest and open with where you are at and seeking the wisdom and council of others; you will not grow. And if you're not growing, you're dying. (1 John 5:12 -- Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God's Son does not have life.)

Forgiveness is a struggle for me. I am very justice-oriented. I want things to go neatly, properly, and harmlessly forever. This is impossible, but for some reason my mind doesn't quite understand that. I feel that if everyone tried harder, was nicer, sought God more that somehow we could defy life itself and sin might go away. I know it's a tall order, but for some reason in my mind it makes sense. That we can become better people. I'm wrong. We are vile creatures. We have a disease. A disease that is slowly killing us. We ate the fruit from the tree. We were deceived by Satan. And you know what? We continue to do so over and over and over again. But we justify it-- Oh, it's not that bad. -- It's different this time. -- I've changed. -- I don't know what you're talking about..? We hide behind bible verses we've fished for through google and we speak with 'words of wisdom' regarding our situation. One thing I've really realized about who I have been-- I have been a teller of what I am doing rather than a seeker for advice. Christ wants me to continually search for him and for his wisdom-- he didn't ask me to let everyone know that I am doing things right. He will take care of that aspect. I've always been so concerned to leave the correct impression and not show a hint of sin. Aka, I've been attempting to hide my humanity amongst eloquent words and impressive feats. I am deep into my sin. We all are. I need to see each day as a day to learn from the many wise people God has placed into my life...rather than searching for a way to convince them that I know what I'm doing. We all know that I don't know what I'm doing. I should stop thinking that it's working...embrace truth.

In chapel on Wednesday our speaker spoke of his wife and how, when he shared his testimony with her, which was a difficult experience for him; nerve-racking and hard to share-- she looked at him with soft eyes and said, "I see you through the blood of Jesus."
And I thought about how I felt I'd want to be a noble woman who would say that, and mean it, to the man who came to me in pursuit. But then I started to think-- why would I only extend that much grace to someone who is going to give me something in return (ex: a marriage)? Shouldn't I extend that grace to those who can give me nothing in return? And then I began to realize areas where I lack grace, forgiveness, and mercy altogether. I'd rather run, ignore, and slander than accept forgiveness-- even when it isn't asked for.

If Jesus Christ, the most perfect and glorious man to walk the earth, can pour grace, forgiveness, and mercy over my life-- despite the fact that I've done absolutely nothing to deserve it; shouldn't I be eager to show this kind of mercy to others? Loving them as Jesus would? Caring for them as Jesus would? Serving them as Jesus would?

Psalm 86:11 -- Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.

I'm sorry.

Forgiven so that I can forgive;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:49:36 PST

Romans 1:29-32 -- Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. They know God's justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

Romans 2:1-11 -- You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God's judgment when you do the same things? Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?
But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. for a day of anger is coming, when God's righteous judgment will be revealed. He will judge everyone according to what they have done. He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and immortality that God offers. But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness. There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil- for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good- for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.

Sometimes I just really need to be put in my place.
God saved me; not so that I can boast and feel better than others, not so that I could judge, not so that I can be lifted higher, but because he loved me. And he loves you. And he loves everyone who walks on this Earth.
I, a mere human, have absolutely no right to judge, assume, or look down on another.

1 John 4:11-12 -- Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

1 John 4:16-19 -- We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.

This is the part that hits my heart really hardcore;

1 John 4:20-21 -- If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

Dang.

FORGIVEN so that I can forgive.

Grace;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:30:40 PST

We sang this song in chapel on Wednesday and the words truly give me a picture of Jesus' love. Right now I'm searching for wisdom on God's grace; I don't understand it and I never fully will, but I want to understand it better. I just wanted to share these lyrics because of their beauty and power:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Constant Renewal.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:35:09 PST

God has been captivating my heart lately more than ever. I was baptized on September 4, 2011 and read 2 Corinthians 5:17 -- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

For some reason it hasn't fully occurred to me until now that this verse isn't referring to a single moment where the old leaves and the new floods our hearts, but a state of constant renewal. I must constantly fight to see Jesus in my life. I must constantly seek after him, I can't simply rely on a single moment. I must seek him constantly. He wants to be found by me! He's not hiding or running or avoiding me, but I need to seek him. He has a plan for my life and a path for me to take if I would just ask him.

James 1:5-8 -- If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in all that they do.

After reading those verses, I have really started praying that God would make me stable in all that I do. I want to stand firm, trusting in him and his plan for my life. I want to be a woman who fears the Lord. I want to know more about him, but when I say that...that means I have to listen when he makes it clear to me; even if it's not the answer I want. But I have also been learning that his answer will ultimately be the best anyway. I can complain and question him, but in the end...he knows what's best. And why should I settle for anything less than God's best for my life? He knows what he's doing.

This morning the service at Crossroads spoke straight to my heart and lined up with my quiet time from this morning, which is always amazing. Pastor Bill presented these verses from Isaiah;

Isaiah 43:18-19 -- But forget all that- it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Forget the past. God is redeeming, even before we realize that he is. Whether the past has been a good experience, a bad experience, and indifferent experience-- it is nothing compared to what he is going to do in your life. I love that it reminds us, 'See, I have already begun!' because often I don't realize that situations in my life are actually God leading me closer to him and I just look at everything with a human perspective, but God knows what he's doing. He is leading. I find great peace in his presence.

In the glory of Your presence I find rest for my soul,

In the depths of Your love I find peace makes me whole,

I love, I love, I love Your presence

I can really see God moving in my heart and in my life. I am truly blessed to be a student here at Cal Baptist. I am constantly in awe of God's provision and clarity in my heart. I know that it may seem weird from an outside observer the way everything has gone for me college-wise, but I can assure you that Jesus Christ has a plan and he is making it happen in my life and I am so thankful for that. My first month here at CBU has absolutely been one of the best months of my entire life. I am in love with Jesus Christ and the intricacy of his plans for me. I am so blessed and grateful to be here. I belong here.

Clothed in strength and dignity.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:54:34 PST

Lately Proverbs 31:10-31 has been laid upon my heart.

Proverbs 31:10-31 -- A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells the, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I desire the life of the woman who is described in this chapter. She is absolutely, hopelessly, undeniably in love with Jesus Christ. He is her strength. That is the kind of woman that I would like to be.

Wednesday night at Generate, Pastor Cody spoke about being unequally yoked, but he ended with a message directed for the woman of the church. He said that God does not create weak women, cultures do.

Our society has weakened us to be skinny, tan, objects of lust-- but God created us for so much more.

We do not need to be weak, but clothed in strength and dignity, laughing without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25).

We have to stop worrying about getting a date, being pursued, owning all the cute clothes in the world, making sure our hair is perfect, counting calories, exercising our bodies away, being a skeleton, covering our beauty in make-up, getting tanner, making all the boys stop and stare.....we should be chasing after the only love that will last us forever.

Proverbs 31:10-11 -- A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

Those verses kinda make my jaw drop. Especially after reading verses such as --

Proverbs 12:4 -- A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

In v. 31:10 it says-- A wife of noble character who can find? Be found. Stop searching. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is SOVEREIGN? Do you believe that He is King? That He has a plan for your life?

Psalm 46:10 -- Be still and know that I am God.

Trust in His timing and His ways. His delays are not denials and what seem like obstacles may simply be ways to draw you closer to Him and help you realize that He needs to fill more of your emptiness.

Our hearts were made to intertwine with another's-- BUT we must seek Him first:

Matthew 6:33 -- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be give to you as well.

Psalm 37:4 -- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I have found the more that I seek Christ, His desires for my life become my own desires and I am showered with his peace that exceeds understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I want to be the kind of woman where my husband would (willingly! as in--- by his own choice) stand to bless me, saying: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all!" First of all, I would cry (tears of joy, don't worry). Secondly, I would know that all the time I spent waiting, hoping, praying, and seeking God-- all of it was absolutely worth it. God would have provided me with a man who seeks Him above all things; a man who will encourage me, bless me, and challenge me. Why should I settle for any less than God's absolute best for my life?

Jesus Christ needs to be the center of all things, all relationships-- even friendships alone. If I believe in Jesus Christ...I'm going to have some really exciting stories to share about what God is doing in my life-- but if I'm seeking a relationship with a non-believer...how am I going to share those moments with them? They won't understand.

2 Corinthians 6:16 -- What union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.

Personally, my heart could not handle that. Our hearts shouldn't be alright with that. If we love Jesus-- we should want to be around people who love Jesus. If you are a woman of God-- you deserve a man who loves Jesus just as much as you do and hopes to continue to love Him even more.

Psalm 139:14 -- I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Daddy made you beautiful. He made you wonderful. He made you for a purpose that He created you (and only you!!!) to do. He will make you strong and secure in Him if you ask. He will catch every tear that falls in His special bottle. He will carry you along and save you. He will love you every day of your life. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He will never call you names. He will never take advantage of you. He loves you. He wants to spend more time with you. He wants to heal your heartaches and disappointments. He wants to make you more like Him. He wants to prepare you for His works. He wants to send you to seek and save the lost. He wants you to know how beautiful you are. He wants you to stop searching for Him in His creation. He wants you to let go. He wants you to be still and know. He wants to bless you. He absolutely loves you with all of His heart.

Seek Him. Ask Him to clothe you in strength and dignity.

Let's be women who fear the Lord. Let's be women that are worthy of a godly man's pursuit. Let's stop settling for less that God's best for us simply because we are bored or insecure. Let's find our security in Jesus Christ. Let's go and make disciples of all nations. Let's forget about our worries and cares and praise Jesus. Let's mature in Christ. Let's seek and save the lost. Let's live life to the fullest.

Seek & Save.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:41:36 PST

Sometimes I feel really entitled. I find myself believing that I deserve all of the things I have been blessed with and I don't understand when something doesn't go the way I would like for it to go. I have the mindset of a spoiled child at times. It's embarrassing. I just want to stomp my feet and get my way. I really like to be understood and get my point across properly so people will know why I did something or why someone else shouldn't have done something.

I recently read my entire way through Luke, which I've never done before, and it has been an incredible experience for me. Although I've been a Christian my entire life, I haven't fully grasped the depth of God's grace and mercy quite yet. It's so big that it's hard to ever be able to fathom, but I've never even come close to realizing what it truly means. I am excited to read through each of the gospels because they give such an intricate look into who Jesus was and how much he loves us. As I read through Luke, I was amazed how each story could be related to my life and how Jesus loves me and cares for me through each and every situation and how desperately I need to seek after Him and choose to be set free by His wonderful love and grace.

In hard times I have seen that when I focus on who God is my problems get smaller and smaller and ultimately they become insignificant because he is greater. It seems so obvious, but really it should blow my mind every day.

The book of Luke closes with two verses that really caught my eye today,

Luke 24:52-53 -- Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.

This was the peoples response to Jesus' resurrection and fulfillment of what he had promised. They worshiped him, returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and praised God. I think after years and years of going to church and hearing the story of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins I've become somewhat callused to what that truly means. But He is softening my heart and teaching me to have compassion for his children as he has had on me. He is teaching me what it means to love and care for his sheep as he would do. He wants me to take care of the responsibilities that he has entrusted me and seek his kingdom and righteousness above all else. He wants my all. He wants to be with me in every moment of everyday. He'll never get tired of me, never misunderstand me, and never leave me. He died on the cross so that he could spend time with me. He paid it all so that I could live in His freedom. I'm in awe. My eyes have truly been opened to more than I've ever really understood.

Like most church-going kids, the first verse I ever memorized was John 3:16. Lately this verse is constantly running through my mind.

John 3:16-17 -- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

He didn't come here to point out why we weren't good enough. He wasn't here to tell us that he was sorry that we suck so bad. He didn't come to watch us fail and laugh at us. He didn't come to mock us. He came to save us. He came to make us clean. He came to love us, cherish us, and bless us.

So when I go out into the world as Christ's ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20), I should enter it with the intention of loving the world as Jesus did so that they may believe in Him and have eternal life. I should not go with the intention to condemn the world, but to teach them who Jesus really is with hopes that through him they will be saved.

Luke 19:10 -- For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.

If I am to love like Jesus loved, then I am called to seek and save the lost as well.

Matthew 28:19 -- Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Jesus wants us to go to his lost children. He wants us to leave the 99, just as he did, and search for that 1 who needs him. And if we believe in Him, we will give up everything we have to follow him.

Luke 14:33 -- In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

It's intimidating to even consider giving up everything you have, but...

Acts 20:24 -- However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

Listen to God as he softens your heart and pour into his word as he speaks to you in spirit and in truth. Be excited as he reveals his path for you because even if it's not exactly what you wanted...he knows best. And you know that.

Week 2.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:06:09 PST

As you may know, I recently transferred colleges to California Baptist University. It was deeply written on my heart that this school and I would get along and now that I'm here I am constantly reminded of God's sovereignty and wonderful plan for my life.
Jesus really used my time in Monterey to remind me that the focus should always be on Him and His work. He taught me that I shouldn't be timid or fearful, but bold and courageous. I was baptized on September 3rd and since then I have made it my goal to read through the entire bible. Recently, I've been reading through the book of Luke and I have learned so much about who Jesus was and just how unconditionally and unfathomably he adores each and every one of us. I am amazed.

In my time here I have been constantly blessed in little ways that I may not have noticed or appreciated before. I can see Jesus working in the tiniest details of my life and I am so thankful. First of all, simply being a part of this campus and cultivating friendships here is absolutely enough for me. The atmosphere of this school is one that I thrive off of. I feel as though I live at my church's high school summer camp. And I love that. I love that my professors pray, teach from the bible, and want me to seek God with all that I have. I love that I can bring my bible into class and read it...that's probably not what I should be doing, but hey..I'm human. I love that I can simply wander around campus and I will probably see someone I know and I'll probably make a new friend as well. I am excited to be here. I am inspired from being here. I am in love with this school. My roommate and I were completely made for each other and I love that a roommate can be a built-in friend who I can spend a lot of time with and be excited to run, jump, and hug! I laugh like I've never laughed before. I am constantly amazed at how God is working in each moment of my life. Now, there have been some small things that I've really seen God just bless me with for absolutely no reason. During orientation, I ended up at the head table when the game of Bunco ended and won a free movie ticket...so now I can go to the movies sometime. Last night at a floor event, my name was drawn in the raffle and I won a free Jamba Juice card...so now I can get a smoothie sometime. This afternoon I received a package from my parents containing a batch of cookies and a Passion 2012 All Access Pass from my Pastor. And tonight I left my laundry in the washer too long...but someone put it in the dryer for me and paid for it. And I just sit here amazed at how God cares intricately about each detail of life.

Luke 6:37-38 -- Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

God is chiseling my heart to trust in Him regardless of the outer appearance of the circumstances. I don't know if this entire post makes complete sense, but my life is changing moment by moment with my experience here at CBU. I love making new friends, learning new things, and living in SoCal! :) I am so blessed and excited to spend the rest of my college career here and I never want to take it for granted!

I guess I'd just say that it's so important to give every moment to Jesus and focus on Him even when it seems like everything is good, bad, or simply average. He is there. But we have to seek him. Don't seek His blessings or the good times...just seek God because he holds peace that exceeds understanding and the freedom that sets us free.

Matthew 6:33 -- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Perspective;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:11:06 PST

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the lost and my sins. I have been overwhelmed by the truth that Jesus loves me endlessly regardless, despite my epic unworthiness. But even in my brokenness, my rejection of his love, and my darkest secrets...he is overwhelmed with joy that I return...He seeks and saves the lost. He doesn't just leave them there.

Luke 15:4-5 -- If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won't he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.

I just have this vision of Jesus, the shepherd, searching high and low for me, the lost sheep. I ran away from him, I wanted nothing to do with him, I put myself into danger, I sinned against him and fled...but he searches for me. He leaves the other ninety-nine and comes searching for me..and when he finds me he joyfully carries me home on his shoulders.

I visualize this much like an old photograph of me and my daddy in Disneyland where he is carrying me around on his shoulders with a huge grin on his face. That's how God feels when he finds us and joyfully carries us home into His Kingdom. I love being able to put that into perspective. God isn't dreading the search, he isn't tired of coming after us, he loves us so much that he will come to our rescue every time. And he will joyfully bring us home on his shoulders.

Luke 19:10 -- For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.

This has also helped me to realize that we should be as joyful and excited as God is when that one sheep returns. We shouldn't look down on them because they ran away or hold them to their old standard of behavior, if Jesus can forgive them and joyfully return them to his flock...shouldn't we be able to do the same?

Romans 14:13 -- So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

When we are not the one who has strayed we still have no right to judge the one who has just returned. We can't let our self-righteousness take over. We should love what Jesus loves and be excited about what Jesus is excited about, trusting that He knows what he's doing...

Luke 15:31 -- His father said to him, "Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!"

Run with purpose.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:31:41 PST

I've recently taken up the ever so popular hobby of running. For the most part I think it's because I am my father's daughter. I have never wanted to admit it, but running really isn't that terrible of an activity. I actually quite enjoy it. (Don't tell my dad or he'll ask me to sign up for Cross Country or something...)

Anyway, yesterday as I was running and jamming to my iPod I thought I was about to pee my pants. I know that's probably a little bit too much information, but I was surprised at how much faster I could run to get to the nearest restroom. I ran so much harder and faster that I didn't even know who I was...

As I was running like a maniac, these verses started running through my head--

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 -- Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

I began thinking about how with such dire consequences I was willing to push myself further than I would have otherwise. This rings true in every aspect of life. Sometimes we run across obstacles that aren't there to make life harder, but to make us run faster and realize that we are stronger than we knew. We have to push our limits and see that Jesus is truly enough and that he'll supply for our every need.

In verse 24 it says, So run to win! Shouldn't I do that in every aspect of life? To me, winning would be bringing glory to God's Kingdom, furthering His flock, and following on His path. I don't want to just walk aimlessly...I want to sprint toward the goal. I want to win. I want to be in line with Jesus' plan and trust in Him with everything that I have.

Verse 26 says, I run with purpose in every step. I can't just go out there and say -- alright, I'm running now...if I don't know where I'm going, I'm going to get really lost. Especially since I just moved here and I don't really know where anything is yet...that would be a terrible idea. I have to know where I am going, I have to seek God's face in every moment, every step, every mile...He knows the plans he has for me. He will lead me if I would just search for His purpose in every step.

I'm starting to realize that every moment of every day can be spent searching for Jesus' purpose and love. He will provide, love, and cherish constantly. He is there to be with me, not to be ignored. I am in love with my Savior. And I am so blessed to be in a place where His name is glorified and His word is read openly and frequently. One week down here at California Baptist University and my life has already been readily changed. God is faithful. I will trust in Him, always. Now, I'm going to go for a run. :)

What am I lost in?

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:12:52 PST

Luke 9:23-25 -- Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?"

What do I gain if lose myself in things other than Him? I want to be absolutely lost in Him. It's His love that I adore, it's like a sea without a shore. I'm lost in Him.

When my eyes fall from focus on Him and I become consumed in other things, I gain nothing. I find myself trapped in bondage. I feel lost, confused, and alone. But the moment I seek His face, I am freed. I need only look to Him, seek Him, trust in Him.

John 8:31-36 -- Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." "But we are descendants of Abraham," they said, "We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, 'You will be set free?' " Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free."

Even though I don't see it at times, I am a slave to sin. When I allow those "little tiny" lies, doubts, fears, and temptations to add up, I'm allowing myself to enter into bondage. I take a step further from my Jesus. Everyone who sins is a slave of sin. I am a slave to my sin.

Galatians 5:1 -- Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery.

I am called to stand firm and be strong in my faith. I can't continue to allow the same temptations and struggles and youthful lusts to consume my thoughts and my heart. I am called to deny myself and follow Christ. What is the point of life if it is not spent chasing after him with all that I am, all that I have? He is enough. His grace is enough. He has set me free. What else could I possibly need?

Colossians 3:11b -- Christ is all that matters and he's living in all of us.

He will never leave me. Never abandon me. Never misunderstand me. Never let me go. Never mislead me. Never judge me. Never stop loving me. Never reject me. He will never stop being who he is. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And He is love. He is grace. He is mercy. So long as He remains who He is, He remains worthy of my praise and my trust. Nothing else deserves the amount of praise and respect that He does. He is holy and mighty and worthy.

What I've Learned About Friendship.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:28:40 PST

For so long I thought that having a best friend would complete my life. I prayed for years that Jesus would supply me with a friend who was like me and would never leave me out. And He has provided some awesome friendships over the years...
But when it comes down to it, the label 'best friend' doesn't matter. Everything that's happened in the past doesn't matter. The pain of old friendships will go away.

I have found that my friendships will be as deep as I allow them to be. I receive about as much truth as I give. If I can't be trusted with secrets, then the chances are high that neither can my friends. If I am gossiping with my friends or about them, then they are probably gossiping about me, too, when I'm not around.

Because to have a friend is to be a friend.

We can complain day in and day out that our friends don't measure up...but is everything really about us?? Were human beings ever meant to measure up to the 'perfect' standard we wish to acquire? If we expect our friends to never let us down...we are setting them up for failure.

Romans 3:23 -- For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

That's not fair. God is a God of grace and mercy...not pointing out wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 -- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

I have found that my 'friendship expectations' have always been way too high. Slowly, Jesus has redeemed the word friend in my life and shown me himself through others and through his own presence in my life. Because in reality...Jesus Christ alone is enough for me. It's taken a lot for me to realize that...but He is all I need. And he is always with me.

Colossians 3:11b -- Christ is all that matters, and he's living in all of us.

No matter how many times I feel beaten down, broken, lonely, hopeless...Jesus Christ never leaves me.

Plus, since when is everything about me? This is such a huge world with huge issues...why would my own friendships ever need to be my only focus? There are people who are living in true oppression. Slaves. People who need healing. People who can't afford food, water, shelter. Orphans. Abused. People who have lost all hope.

But I have hope. I am blessed. I know who Jesus Christ is. And He is all that I need. Instead of complaining I need to be helping others find out about this amazing truth. This world needs it's King to be put on His true throne. We need to remember where we came from and listen to him as he leads us on this journey.

Instead of always asking why our friends aren't good enough...why don't we ask ourselves if we would even be our own friend? What qualities do I even offer that are beneficial?

Why are we so quick to judge others, but reluctant to look at our own faults?

Friendships are hard. But Jesus is enough.

He will supply all your needs. He'll never misinterpret your words. He'll never drop you when you make a mistake. His love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on us. Blessed be the name of the Lord. The only one who will never let us down.

Praise His name!

My heart breaks.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 15:44:32 PST

Today in my quiet time I've come back across my favorite verse,

Acts 20:24 -- But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus -- the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Sometimes I forget how deeply this verse is engraved on my heart. My heart breaks for all of the things that are going on in this world. The infinite hurts, heartaches, bondages, sufferings, sins, hatred...but Jesus is still sovereign. And we are still here. Which is why we must go.

Matthew 28:19 -- Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I have a heart for the world. I want my foot to touch every single continent and I want to bring Living Water to all the people who are desperately searching for more. I want to love on those who don't know the true definition of love. I want to be a big hug for those children who just need some attention. It doesn't matter where we are...it matters where our hearts are and if our lives mean anything without sharing all that Jesus has done for us.

Knowing the never-ending pain and suffering so many people go through each day, I can't help but look forward to this...

Revelation 7:16-17 -- Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

But in order for people to get there....somebody's going to have to tell them!
I pray that not a person goes without hearing the love of Jesus Christ, for he has rescued me, loved me, and changed me. I am constantly in awe of his goodness and faithfulness. I wouldn't want a single person to go without knowing this.

Psalm 150:6 -- Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

We need to love our world and never stop.

Wrapping up 2011.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:09:37 PST

As 2011 comes to a close I've found some perfect verses to sum up the last year;

Micah 7:7-10 -- As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. I will be patient as the Lord punishes me, for I have sinned against him. But after that, he will take up my case and give me justice for all I have suffered from my enemies. The Lord will bring me into the light and I will see his righteousness. Then my enemies will see that the Lord is on my side. They will be ashamed that they taunted me saying, "So where is the Lord-- that God of yours?" With my own eyes I will see their downfall; they will be trampled like mud in the streets.

Micah 7:15 -- "Yes," says the Lord. "I will do mighty miracles for you, like those I did when I rescued you from slavery in Egypt."

Micah 7:19-20 -- Once again you will have compassion on us, You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised our ancestors Abraham and Jacob long ago.

This has been a year full of pain, heartache, hard work, excitement, desperation, unspeakable joy, blessings, provision, and simply everything you can expect from following the King.

A year ago I never could have known I'd be where I am now, and for that I am truly thankful. Jesus has provided for my every need and so much more. I stand in awe of how amazing he is and how willing he is to direct me on His path.

So, thank you 2011 for being the hardest year to endure...but so, so worth it. And here's to 2012 for the abundance of blessings that Jesus has promised. I can't wait to see what is in store.

2 Corinthians 9:15 -- Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words!

Freedom reigns;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 01:39:53 PST

This afternoon I was reading through the beginning of Isaiah 9, and this verse stuck out to me in particular:

Isaiah 9:4 —You will break the yoke of their slavery and lift the burden from their shoulders. You will break the oppressor’s rod, just as you did when you destroyed the army of Midian.

I began to think over the last couple years of my life and the different things that have chained me down, kept me stagnant, and caused great fear in my heart. And then I remembered how each of those things had been knocked down, pushed away, and annihilated with each step closer to Jesus. He brings freedom.

Fear constantly held me back. But God is bigger than all of my fears. (Eph 3:20)
Doubts flooded my mind. But God is constant and faithful to His promises. (1 Thess 5:24)
Timidity overtook my spirit. But God gave me a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Tim 1:7)

His strength and power has given me hope. He has made me bold and firm in His word.

I have been rescued from the depths of despair and loneliness; restored on a firm foundation filled with joy unspeakable because Jesus Christ is who he says he is and he can do what he says he can do. I am in absolute awe of his sovereignty. His name brings warmth to my heart because all that he promised me, all that he asked of me, all that I have done in his name...has never ever been useless. He knows what he's doing (Jer 29:11).

So, Merry Christmas! 2011 has been a year of exponential growth in my life. And 2012 only promises even more of it. I am enjoying every moment of God's crazy, spontaneous plan for my life. After all, it's ALL about him.

1 Thessalonians 2:4b — Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.

Praise his name on this glorious day! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

(:

The Ultimate Gift.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:18:32 PST

I've been thinking lately about how amazing God is. Sounds cliche, but there is so much more to it. Here's what I've been thinking...God loved each of us so much that he sent his one and only son down to Earth to save us. That's what we celebrate on Christmas...we all know at least that much, but here's the part that really rocks my socks off...this was undoubtedly the ultimate gift. Can you think of a better gift than salvation from our sins? Would you like anything more than redemption from your old self? Eternity in heaven with the King of Kings?

Yet beyond that gift, a gift that can never be matched, God continues to pour out his blessings in our everyday lives. He didn't stop at the gift of salvation and redemption, even though that was the biggest gift he could ever give. That's what amazes me about my Jesus.

This leads me to share what he's done in my life recently. About 5 months ago I went away for college. I was terrified, timid, and questioned myself with each step. I had heard God's voice so clearly tell me that CSU Monterey Bay was the school that he wanted me at even though it was not my dream school. I had wanted so desperately to attend California Baptist University, but God told me to trust him. So I did. I trusted him, which led me to Seaside, CA.
Days before I left, I came across the blog of a pastor from Vancouver, WA who just happened to be moving down to California to be a pastor of a small church in none other than Monterey. (Read about that in this post.)
Within three days of living on campus I ran into a girl named Savannah, who was planning on leading a bible study for girls in her dorm room. I hung out in her room pretty frequently and she and I ended up having more in common than I've had with anyone I've ever met! Over the last five months she has become one of the closest friends and is such a constant blessing on my life.
Together, Savannah and I attended Pastor Barry's first service at Living Hope. We fell in love with the atmosphere and friendliness of the congregation even though the church is very different from both of our church's back home...(and yes, Barry the church was really really really small).
One weekend Savannah and I packed up and drove to Modesto on a whim so that I could be baptized. That night our church had one of the girls from VanGo present to talk about what her and her friend Jenna do on a daily basis. (Check out their blog.)
God used that night to weave a passion and mission within mine and Savannah's hearts for our time in Monterey. We flipped through passage after passage telling us to 'go' and follow God with all of our hearts. (Yeah, there's a post about this one too...) So we met with Pastor Barry and told him we wanted to start a youth ministry at Living Hope. In case you couldn't guess, Savannah and I are both very easily excited and urgent people!
So, we began a ministry called 'Victorious!' Which came from the verse 1 John 5:4 -- For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. We moved our meeting times around a few times until we reached a decision to meet right after service on Sunday mornings. By the end of our semester there were four of us consistently coming and on good days there were about seven.
So...the rest of the story?
Well, within weeks of arriving at CSU Monterey, we found that I would not be receiving the financial aid we were planning on. We had to pull out loans very quickly and let's just say the school was not very helpful throughout the tedious process that had to be done quick because of the late notice they gave us. Needless to say, it was stressful. Especially since my mom and I were trying to figure it all out while not in the same place.
This sparked the idea of a 'new plan'. Not only because of financial reasonings, but the desire in my heart for CBU still hadn't left. I became more and more sure that I would like to work in ministry if God would allow me to do so. So, my mom and I began to change the plans. First, I told her I wanted to transfer to CBU. But, we decided to be more 'logical' (because that's how my Mama is...she's the smartest, most logical woman around...I am more like the girl with her head stuck in the clouds who doesn't understand why she can't just do whatever the heck she wants to do) So our next plan was for me to move home, get my GE at the local junior college and then transfer to CBU. But I still wasn't quite satisfied with this plan.
I'll add more to the way that God was entangling my heart with CBU. Savannah, the awesome friend I mentioned earlier, yeah, she's from Corona, CA. Her house is about 30 minutes away from CBU. She was in the process of planning her move back home while I planned mine. Two friends I haven't mentioned yet, Jasmine and Janelle, (they are twins!) were also planning on leaving. They live in Riverside, CA. And actually live about 5 minutes away from CBU. God used all three of these girls to comfort me in my time in Monterey, but also to string my heart closer to Southern California.
He was moving and I could hear him telling me to be bold, but I wasn't sure how. Veterans day weekend is when it all came down. You see, up to this point I had not even seen CBU I had just heard great stories and felt a connection immediately, mainly because of my awesome friend Kylie. Well, I went home for the weekend with Savannah, Janelle, and Jasmine. I visited CBU for the first time, and just like I thought I would, I fell in love with it. Not only that, but I fell in love with Savannah's church, family, and awesome friends. I knew I couldn't wait two years to go down there. There was an urgency placed on my heart.
So, when we arrived back at school...I immediately applied to CBU for the Spring semester "just to see". When I told my mom, she thought I was crazy (which I don't blame her for because I kinda am...) But my mom is an amazing woman and she prayed about it. She told me that I needed a plan...so I called CBU nonstop about scholarships and details. I did countless equations of math to see if I would be able to do it. I had plan after plan after plan. I was willing to do whatever I could, of course my mom pointed out 'whatever I could' only included going...it didn't really include community college..but hey, I really wanted this.
The night came when I received my full financial aid from CBU and I was bummed. It was soooo not as much as I was expecting it to be. You see, I had been praying, "God provide all of the money so I can go." I figured that was the only way I would be able to go because the whole point of leaving Monterey was to save money and I didn't think my parents would go for it if CBU wasn't basically free. I made the dreaded phone call letting my mom know the financial aid wasn't as much as I expected and she said her and my dad would call me back later to talk about the details. I felt a little defeated, called up my friend Matt, and his response surprised me...I told him I received my financial aid and it only covered about half of the tuition (I said it with a really upset voice, too...) and his response? "Wow, that's awesome! God provided half of the tuition!" That was a stab to my heart (in a good way...can that be in a good way?). Let's talk about a humbled heart...seriously that one hit me hard. I was not pleased with God because he hadn't answered my prayer in the way that I wanted...I immediately changed my focus and thanked him for all he had done because I know that he is faithful to his promises and he is smoothing out my path (Isaiah 26:7).
The dreaded phone call came around. My parents called and we began to talk about the details and everything that came along with moving down there and I assumed the conversation wouldn't end happily for me. I was so ready for that moment. But it never came because my mom said, "we are on board". I didn't even know how to react. My mom basically just told me that all of my dreams were coming true. Even though God hadn't answered my prayer the way I thought he would...he still kept his promises. I'm still in awe of his goodness.

I guess this was my long way of saying that God is constantly moving in each of our lives and blessing us whether we can see it or not. We can choose to stomp our feet when things don't go our way...or patiently endure and wait to see what he will do in us and through us.

I am so thankful for my journey to Monterey. How crazy intricate is his plan? He sends Savannah up to Monterey for a semester...and me...we meet and now we are moving on to our next adventure together...7 hours south. It's crazy how sovereign he is!

Proverbs 3:5-6 -- Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 -- God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.

Psalm 37:4 -- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 23:5 -- You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.

Isaiah 26:7 -- But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.

My advice is to search for ways to thank Jesus rather than constantly asking and expecting. I know that lately he is teaching me to move beyond myself and learn more about Him and about others. Our response to his never-ending gifts and mercy should be thanksgiving. Nonstop praise! He is holy and mighty and able to do all things if only we are bold enough to ask! Trust him as he guides you each moment!

Psalm 100:4-5 -- Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

P.S. Thanks for reading this....it's pretty lengthy....

Drop your stones;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:03:42 PST

Lately I've been making my way through the book of Luke and, as with every other book I've read lately, it's becoming my favorite! Chapter 6 stood out to me.

Luke 6:37-38 -- Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full- pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

These two verses tackle so many things we overlook.

Judging others. How often do we judge each other? We don't have to admit to doing it because we all know we do...sometimes we don't even know we do, but we are constantly judging others. The outfit someone wears may lead us to categorize them, or perhaps a tattoo, piercing, hair style, car, bicycle...you name it and we can judge someone for it. Sometimes we judge people based on their Facebook statuses, friends, laughs, or the school they attend. No matter what our reasoning behind our judgement...it's still wrong. I often find myself judging people based on the way that they've treated me. If someone has hurt me they move into the 'Keep your distance' category and stay there for safe-keeping. I mean, no one wants to get hurt again, right? But, doesn't the Jesus I serve preach about forgiveness and redemption?

The truth is (for all of us who have been redeemed by Jesus Christ) you are not who you used to be. You have been made new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 -- This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Christ's forgiveness and love know no bounds...so why do we tell ourselves it's okay for ours to reach only a certain point? I don't know about you, but I am so convicted by this reality. The way I treat others is not okay...even if it's only within my thoughts. I have allowed myself to get so wrapped up in the idea that some people in my life haven't lived up to Jesus' standard. Weird, eh? People didn't live up to Jesus' standard...because that's what people were meant to do...because I have met this standard...(hope you're catching the sarcasm here...)

Here's how Jesus loved,

John 8:3-11 -- As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. "Teacher," they said to Jesus, "this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?" "No, Lord," she said. And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

I need to drop my stones. I need to thank Jesus for refusing to throw a stone at me, the only One who had the right to, and he didn't do it. His message was of never-ending grace and mercy. The ultimate gift.

Thank you, Jesus. Teach me to love as you have loved me!

To my heart...

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:50:29 PST

To my heart you have spoken. You spoke so clearly and sweetly. You whispered to me the direction in which I should travel. You taught me to risk everything for the sake of your name. You granted me the courage to fall wholeheartedly into your plan. You taught me to surrender my worries, cares, dreams, hopes, and disappointments to your precious name. You crucified them with your son. You took care of all my sorrow, pain, worry, and fear. You overcame my world. You overcame the world. You took the humble position as a slave. You constantly remind me what it means to be humble. You have taught me to love as you have loved me. You expect me to give as freely as I have received. You provide for me in every instance that has come about. You continually renew my strength and are my rock and my refuge. You are holy and mighty. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. Be my everything.

Thank you.

Great and precious promises;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:02:38 PST

2 Peter 1:3-11 -- By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world's corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of goodness, and goodness with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins. So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

We have to increase our faith with goodness, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance, godliness, brotherly affection, and love for everyone.

Goodness: 2 Thessalonians 1:11 -- So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.

Knowledge: 1 Corinthians 8:2-3 -- Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.

Self-control: Galatians 5:16 -- So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Patient endurance: Hebrews 10:36 -- Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Godliness: 1 Timothy 4:8 -- Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.

Brotherly affection: Romans 12:10 -- Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Love for everyone: 1 John 4:11-12 -- Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

We must constantly be at work to improve each of these things-- the moment our faith becomes comfortable is the moment we should be concerned. We must always strive for more. We need to have faith in impossible circumstances.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.

Nothing is impossible with God. Not convinced?

Luke 1:37 -- For nothing is impossible with God.

Matthew 17:20 -- "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

Luke 18:27 -- He replied, "What is impossible for people is possible with God."

We need to put our faith in Him, in His word, and in the desires He places in our hearts. We need to be in tune with him and know that he will not lead us astray. He wants to bless us and care for us...it's in his nature. We need only ask.

Matthew 7:7 -- Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

Confidently take your worries, cares, plans, dreams, aspirations, doubts, fears, hopes, anxiety to the foot of the cross. Place it there. Because God sent his son Jesus Christ to carry your burdens. It is no longer your responsibility to carry them around; you are His responsibility. He will take care of you. He will care for you. He will argue your case. He will take your side (Psalm 119:154). Fix your eyes on Jesus and He will carry you along and save you. Seek him in all you do and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6). He is smoothing out the path ahead of you as we speak (Isaiah 26:7). He is bigger than your perception of him-- and he never gets tired of you. He never stops wanting to bless you. He never stops loving you. He never misunderstands you. He always loves you, always cares for you, and always wants to lead you along the right path. Cease striving and fall wholeheartedly into his open arms of love (Psalm 46:10). Give him your burdens. And truly let him have them. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37). Our God is greater. Trust him (Proverbs 3:5).

1 Peter 5:7 -- Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Isaiah 46:4 -- I will be your God throughout your lifetime-- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

My God will come through;

noreply@blogger.com (Alyssa Rowe) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 02:31:09 PST

Romans 5:2-5 -- Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

As I randomly came across this passage, Always by Kristian Stanfill began playing on my iPod, I'm going to include the lyrics here because God just tied some uneasy knots in my heart and has reminded me that my help comes from Him alone:

My foes are many, they rise against me

But I will hold my ground

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, he will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding

My soul will rest in You

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

From you Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always, always