A Tall Drink of Sweet Tea

WT Frack Friday with Dazee..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:46:00 +0000

Time for WTFrack with Dazee .. let it all hang out spare nothing.. WT Frack Windstream. 3 months, I have been dealing with crappy net service. Be doing my thing and suddenly my modem/router just up and reboots. 5 service techs and new modem, password and an update later and I am still having issues. When it all began I was told of a central office location that was having server issues and was waiting to replace the server. That was the last time I heard that story. Until today when the tech I reached said there were 2 latency issues in my area and would be repaired by February 3. Seriously?? So I have been through 3 months of crap for something that should have been fixed months ago?? Nice real nice.. WTF H&R Block. We have used your services for our entire marriage. We always get our refund when you say we will, as a rule since you have had us as clients for so long we get it earlier. So this year we go and do the typical refund ANTICIPATION deal. Meaning that in 7-10 days you Issue us a payment for the amount of our refund minus your fees, and then when our refund is actually sent by the IRS you get it. So explain to me WHY I have to wait until the IRS sends you my refund suddenly. That is not the point of an ANTICIPATION loan. Nor is it even a loan technically. To call it a loan would signify that you have given me money without having received anything from me as such. So gimme my darn money. Why should I have to wait when you KNOW it was accepted and you will get what you said.. GIMME MY MONEY.. WT Frack local utility service. My mother has passed, but we need to retain her electric due to cold temps and don't want pipes freezing. You cannot change the account to an 'estate' account but you can put it in MY name?? Say what? Although I did speak with someone higher who helped us out and fixed the issue I would suggest for logical purposes you might reconsider your policies.

PYHO: More on recognition

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:34:00 +0000

Linking up with Shell once more for PYHO. Yesterday I talked about my word for this year being recognition. I did a brief description into what I meant by it but I don't feel like I fully tapped into what I was meaning by it being my word.
Far too often we find ourselves not being, well, ourselves, our true authentic selves. As women we are bad for it. We put aside our dreams, hopes, visions and potential for others. It is something we just do, something we have seen other women in our lives do.
Mothers, grandmothers all set aside things to be something to someone else. But were still strong women. They recognized what was worth laying down for the greater part of the family.
Also recognizing that sometimes you can't choose who is in your family tree but you can choose who you surround yourself with. Sometimes friends become better then family.
Recognizing that I am worthy of love and affection and feeling pretty. Recognizing I am so much stronger then I give myself credit for. Recognizing that in all I have survived in life I am still here despite what others may have done to bring me down or knock my wind out of me.
It is a large word with a whole lot of weight.
Without recognition of the things we surround ourselves with and who we choose to speak into our lives we cannot reach where we were designed to reach. We leave our destinies in the hands of everyone else. Allowing people to speak things over us that should never be. Not because we deserve it but because they want us to remain less then our full potential. Usually these people are the ones who have never lived , really lived life. They have never had a dream or a goal that they have tried to reach, or they have and failed. Instead of looking inside themselves about why they failed it is much easier to point a finger of blame at everyone else. We have to use them as our stepping stools to the next level. That is why God allows them to enter our lives but no intention of them staying in our lives. I think Tyler Perry said it best when he said as his character Madea we invest too much of our time in people that are to be in our lives for a season. Like the leaves of a tree. They are there for that part of time only and then are to be gone like those leaves. Lessons to be learned and grow from. I have spent too much time worrying about too many leaves. No more.
I have to recognize that I have the power to lose weight and quit smoking and excuses are just that excuses. What I don't have the strength to do alone God has promised to carry me through. Period. End of story.
All of it sounds logical when put in words on paper somewhere. We nod our heads knowingly as if we knew that all along and how simple it is. When in reality the hardest thing we can do is be ourselves. Because more often then not we have forgotten who we truly are in the grand scheme of life and love. We bend to adjust and fit in with society and situations. We twist to keep up with the Joneses when it is the Joneses who should be keeping up with us. Telling our children to live their dreams, envision themselves in greatness, all while holding ourselves back in their full view. While putting their safety and care above ours is important we can never really set ourselves totally aside for another, not even our children. Because they need to see an adult who can continue to contribute to their lives effectively while attending to their own needs. Recognizing that it is okay to have an hour to ourselves to do whatever. Take a nap, read a book, soak in a hot tub or just walk through a store. When we focus solely on keeping everyone else entertained and engaged we make weak adults who cannot fend for themselves because we have done it all for them. We make weak parents because we get from love and concern to irritation and frustration when they get to a point they don't need us all the time. Going from being their provider to needing them to need us to gain our worth and value in and through them. It is hard. Where is the line of definition from mom to maid, helper to hinderer, parent to warden. Making ourselves a jail cell we can never escape even when they do. Because they will spread their wings and fly and we are left in the nest wondering what to do with the rest of our lives. Realizing that we no longer know what our dreams for ourselves were because we were so tied up in helping them achieve theirs.
Recognizing who we really are.. aside from the labels that society and life have applied and a few we have put on ourselves. Recognizing the greatness and power we have inside and allowing it out. Becoming more then what we call ourselves, becoming our authentic self and all that pertains to it.

TTUT: My one word...

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:49:00 +0000

It's Tuesday.. time for TTUT with Shawn and IA. No rulesNo questionnaire to fill out to get considered for the position.No age limits. Simply give us whatever, like a hot cup of coffee at your best friends kitchen table. I have seen so many posts about people's one word for the New year. Picking out one word that is something they are going to strive for this year. Like peace, organization, time, joy, love. The list is endless. I finally settled on my word for the year. RECOGNITIONNot necessarily for me as that can be construed so many ways. Because learning to recognize certain things in my life can make it so much simpler. Recognition of my haters and my supporters. Understanding that even though I would prefer to see anyone succeed over fail, everyone is not wired that way. Some people are born haters, not because your life is so much better then theirs but simply because they have no faith in themselves. So their whole life is miserable because they are scared of failing so they never get out there and try. Their fear makes them miserable, and so they seek to make everyone as miserable as them, thereby making themselves look and feel better. RecognitionThat Drama is unavoidable. Some people have nothing better to do then stir it. Responding to their constant irritation only gives them a victory they don't deserve. Some people you just need to love from over there=====>. They will never realize the damage their drama causes until it happens to them. Not replying to their drama takes the fun out of it for them. Although I have a fire back personality, sometimes silence is golden. RecognitionThat God is not defined by our boxes. We have nice little packages that we expect to do what we ask and nothing more. But God is greater then our boxes and allowing Him to move in your life will bring you to the recognition of not who you are but who you are capable of being IN HIM.Recognition I am not Wonder Woman. I know the truth scares you doesn't it? I cannot do it all for everyone all the time.RecognitionWhat is your word for thise year??

Impulsive Addict wants to know.. the rule breaker that she is..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:31:00 +0000

So IA got tagged for a post and being the rule breaker she is she couldn't do it like the wanted. Well it was an awful lot to have done.. Sooo she did an 11 random things about her then 11 questions we get to answer.. and ya know I have to jump in with it.

11 random things about me:

* I apparently carry a gene that leads me to give birth to half grown linbackers.

*Based on the height of my boys compared to their father and myself we also apparently have a recessive giant gene because they are all as tall as me, 2 are taller then me and Gene and they are all already bigger then their grandparents were.. hmmmm

*I have a thing for old photos and family histories, love the stories about before me and the people that made it possible for us to get here

* I am a little bit of a freak with the good southern Christian girl facade.. wait?What do you mean you knew that already??

* I have been to a field party in an actual field

* yes you can go all night fishing, however you may fall asleep in your boyfriends truck and wake up to him telling you to stop only to look out the window and see him getting licked on by a cow.. I didn't know whether to be offended or laugh hysterically. I laughed hysterically cause I knew he was asleep and I did use to nibble on his ear to wake him up..

*I hated math in school . So much so that I had a teacher that would give us the odd problems the first day and the even ones the next and I tended to stay a week ahead in homework so I didn't have to do it but once a week.. ahem.

*I have received a lap dance and not from a male dancer and yes my hubby knows he was sitting next to me about to crawl off of the couch.

*2 beers will knock me on my tail, but I can drink hard liquor all night and my choice is Long Island Iced Teas or Fuzzy Navels

* I am built top heavy like Dolly Parton but Patsy Cline is my IDOL, and I can sing like her

*I stumbled into blogging completely by accident and never looked back...

Now Ia has some questions she wants answers too:1. What's your most embarrassing moment?OH Lord ONE?? Seriously?? Have to be when our now middle child was in the hospital and I asked his doctor when I should get him off the bottle. Seemed like every time we went to wean him he would become very sick and we couldn't at that time. Anyway the doctor said his son was 24 months and still took the breast at bedtime, to which my hubby replied , " I am 28 and I still take it every chance I get" As if that weren't bad enough the doctor replied , 'Yep me too". MORTIFIED.
2. Why do you live in your current city? It is my life long hometown, my family is all here
3. Did you/Will you have sex on your wedding night?Umm YEAH
4. What is one household appliance you can't live without?Coffeepot
5. It's your birthday dinner and you can order whatever you want. What is it?Sesame Chicken
6. Have you ever enjoyed a Captain and Diet Coke?I don't drink Diet anything it is worse on you then the regular.
7. I should give up ______but I just can't do it yet. Smoking
8. Approximately how many pairs of shoes do you own?About 12
9. Have you ever sucked a toe?Well EWWWW
10. Do you have a secret talent?I can turn my tongue upside down both ways. Yes there are situations that little talent can be amazing..
11. Are you really answering these silly questions? Yep I is...

What the Frack?? With Dazee Dreamer

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:05:00 +0000

First off congrats to the fabulous Boobies who won my bullet giveaway...

I have seriously missed her little meme but Dazee has been kind enough to pick up the slack and give us the ability to still let it fly..

What the frack Credit card companies? I don't have a credit card and I don't appreciate the non stop calls to my CELL Phone telling me about the interest rate on my non existent cards being lowered. I have told you repeatedly to remove my name from your call list cause well hello I don't have the cards. So since you won't do as I asked I have turned you into the Better business bureau cause you are sneaky and conniving and I am sick of your games..

What the frack is an elbutt?? That would be this

Which is something my friend Rachel started on her FB page. Perhaps you have seen her blog?? She cracks me up and if I ever need to smile I can bet I can find it on her pages anywhere. But this week has been hilarious. Because when she first posted the pics of Mr. Daddy's elbow a lot of people thought it was a hairy butt crack. Which if you don't know what you are looking at could totally be understandable. So this week when he had to have surgery we flooded her FB page with pictures that made her smile and to share with him when he came out of recovery. My oldest, who has grown up in this household so he has our sense of humor decided to one up the Elbutt with the Gutbutt. Which needless to say made Mr. Daddy bow to his obvious greatness and ingenuity, and allowed everyone on her FB page to bust a gut laughing.

What the frack weather?? Where is our snow?? It is cold here then warm and rain. Which is never good here. That means when she finally really shows off she will dump an insane amount of the white stuff and leave me trapped on this hill. As much as I love snow I don't do well driving in it. I. Just. Don't. So she seriously needs to get it in line and give us our pretty but not individual trapping white stuff.. Just sayin.

What the frack Windstream?? I have been fighting with them for nearly 3 months now about losing connection nearly 10 times a day. According to the techs that come out here it is an issue in a local office with a server getting overloaded. Ok simply add another server or get a bigger one. Apparently that is not happening. Then when I call them I get the run around about how I am on their bundle that is essentially giving me 'free' internet.. Umm yeah not cause phone service alone is 48 a month and I am paying 86 a month for phone and unlimited broadband. Fix it NOW before I begin lamblasting your company on the 20 other social networking sites I am a member of.. you have been warned..

Now go link up with Dazee and give us your WTF week.

TTUT: Healing and life goes on..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 05:23:00 +0000

Time for TTUT with Shawn and IA. No rules just sitting down shooting the breeze with your bloggy friends about whatever is on your mind. Trust me my mind has been a LOT of places in the last month. Oh OH I am running a forgive me for being gone from blogging for so long giveaway ADULTS ONLY. I would love it if you went by and put your name in the hat for it..hint hint..I also did a post for #TeamAmelia.. if you have not read that story where have you been hiding on the internet?? Today I go to the judge to be named the executor of mom's estate. It sounds so weird to me still. I think what is weirder is walking into her house and realizing that she is gone. Have you ever noticed that when you lose someone you love it seems as if places they were or things they wore holds some form of their energy. In all the people I have lost in my life that has held true. I could go where they lived or be in a place they had been and sense their presence there. Not with mom. It is almost like once she took that final step to cross over she took everything with her. Her essence and energy. Like she knew leaving any of it here would make it so much harder on all of us. I walk into her house and it is simply a house. We still call it Mom's house but it doesn't feel like her there. It is almost odd, like she simply just vanished leaving no trace of where she was except for in pictures and our memories of her. I think that is why I had such peace about it. I have had my moments there is not a doubt about that. This last week has just seemed to hit me more then the actual death did when it happened. As if I was functioning on auto pilot to do what needed to be done and now that the hard parts are over the grief has overcome me like a flood. Thursday night was really hard. That was the first time I had a chance to just sit down and be normal since it all happened. When Antiques Roadshow came on my first thought was to call her and remind her. Then I remembered. Doug had a rough night that night in a swing and we both wound up in tears. I cried for hours. Literally. All weekend was much the same. I felt as if maybe if I could feel something, anything of her I would be okay, and that sense of her being completely gone was just hard to bear. But I am healing. I still cry just not as long or as hard. Day by day the grief is turning into simple sadness and acceptance. Moving forward with life, that is what she would want most of all.The kids are going back to school this week. They were out all of last week with the creeping crud and flu and then on Friday they had a snow day. I love the snow, especially on this hill.Here in the country when it snows and it is fresh you can go outside and just revel in the silence that it brings. It's shimmering blanket of white seems to hush even nature. I find some of my most peaceful moments just standing in the silence of a new fallen snow. I am finally getting on the bandwagon of Flab to Fab with Jamie and Steph. I got on the scales tonight and literally got ill at the numbers it read. I have never been this big in my life, not even when I was pregnant with my kids. So I am moving all the exercise equipment here in the house. No more excuses. I have too much stuff to help me get rid of this weight to say I can't do it any longer. So that's it for me this week, wasn't that enough?? Did I bend your ears enough?? Catch ya'll next week.

Who defines what Quality of life is?? And who said I agreed with them??

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:12:00 +0000

I have seen a lot of things in the blog world that have left me shocked and amazed at the ability of people to not know what common human decency is. I have also seen many more examples of those who stand up to fight against it and do the right thing. Those moments, when the blogging community comes together as a whole, without niches, or barriers to unite as one and say THIS is wrong, I am so proud to tell anyone that , yes, I am a blogger.

After reading about Mia and her needs, I was further floored by the inhumanity and lack of professionalism displayed by the very doctors who are trained to save her life. How do you stare any parent in the eye and say " Your child is less than and therefore we will not do what we agreed to do when we took our Hippocratic oath to save their life." The even more sickening part is that even though they are fully aware that the family intends on finding a donor within their family and friends to provide the much needed kidney, these same doctors still refuse to do the surgery if that donor is found. It isn't about money for them. They are saying because Mia is mentally handicapped that she has no quality of life to sustain. Not now. Not ever.

Sitting here I have struggled with words to express the bitter taste that rises in my throat at the ease in which these 'doctors' have the right to choose who deserves to live. What they are willingly admitting to doing is no better then what Hitler did with the Jews. Selective murder. We deem your child as a subpar example of the human race and we will not protect her life or her right to it. From where I am sitting I would be more willing to say that about the doctors that feel they have the right to make that decision. Would they feel the same if it was their child?? I highly doubt it, or at least I would like to believe that, but somehow I have my doubts.

You see when I was pregnant with my youngest child I had a test that is routine in all pregnant women. This test measures some factor in the blood and can give an ideal if your child COULD be born with Down's Syndrome or other mental handicap. Based on the numbers the doctor approached me with the concern that I could be carrying such a child. I was then presented with the options of more testing including sticking a needle in my uterus and withdrawing fluid to check those levels. From there I could be given the option of terminating the pregnancy if they found that the chances were I would deliver a handicapped child. I refused the test. Without hesitation. There was no other option but full term, holding my baby in my arms and letting God decide not man. There were no other health reasons, even if there were the choice would have remained the same.

Now I feel as though they are telling this mother the same thing, except it is late term.

Then I have to wonder exactly where they get their scale to measure quality of life anyway? Do they base quality on someone's ability to provide for themselves when they are older? To contribute to society as a whole? Can one put a dollar amount on a quality of life? Would they require the person to become a millionaire? Because I know a lot of people who aren't rich and still have a quality of life I would love to attain in my lifetime. People who have learned that quality has as many definitions as life itself. Who have made it a point to teach others that money can't buy happiness, but love can conquer everything. Pure, unpolluted love for one another. A quality that many individuals with a 'mental deficiency' have. One that we , who are described as normal, tend to lose as we age. And one that these 'doctors' have definitely lost sight of based on this decision. So I would trade a million Mia's for one of them, in. A. Heartbeat.

But the one wonderful thing about being in the blogging community is we have an ability to make a change. In the time it takes them to start there day we can motivate thousands of people to speak up, and remind the doctors what quality of life truly is.

It is not something they can define by a persons ability to think or reason, or even their ability to function in what they deem 'normal' society. It is not measured in the breaths we take but in the breaths we take away. It is not defines by a dash on a tombstone that divides birth and death, but in the memories and life changing moments that happened in that dash. I would not want their choice on this matter to be in my dash, and I don't know many people who would.

I would dare say they need to spend a week with Mia. To let her love them right where they are. Without expectation of greatness, no thought of how smart they are or how much they earn. Mia is our modern day representation of Jesus. She loves without seeing the faults. She loves because it is the right thing to do. She forgives because she chooses to let go of the things that weigh many of us down. She takes failure in stride with a shrug of her shoulders and the idea that there is always tomorrow. So while she may not understand the weight of their thoughts on her quality of life, she will accept them right where they are and not wish them any ill. All lessons they need to learn from her..

Make your voice heard on this , Let the doctors and board of CHOP know that we are the ones who pay their bills when we use their facilities and that we are the people who think they are wrong. Go to Change.org and sign the petition. Go to About.com and read the other entries from bloggers around the world who are mortified by their decision. Then let them know how you feel about it. Change begins with us. One person, standing up and speaking loud to let others know. That is all it takes. Will you be one??

Will you forgive my absence if I do a giveaway?? ADULTS ONLY

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:18:00 +0000

I know that I have been sorely lacking on my blogging skills so perhaps a giveaway from my good friends at Good Vibes will make you forgive me.

Good Vibes is the place to go for all of your bedroom necessities , high quality, low prices and wonderful customer service to handle all your questions.

I remember when I first began exploring the bedroom toy line and came across the Bullet. Back then it was simple silver and small. Today the options for it are as varied as the people who love them like me. Good Vibes was kind enough to give me the opportunity to provide you with the Bullet Buddy Vibrator:

Too cute to believe these adorable little bullets come in 5 different animal shapes. Same powerful toy with a twist. Measuring at a discreet 2 1/2 inches long with a powerful battery operated motor, the Bullet Buddy Vibe is perfect to slip in your purse for a nightcap later or tuck safely in your bedside drawer. Useful on both men and women this tiny vibrator packs a powerful punch for more then just stimulation. Perfect to fit in the palm of your hand for massaging those tired sore muscles after a long day at work as well. Phthalates free and waterproof your little friend can even go to the shower with you.

To win simply tell me in the comments what your favorite toy is or what you would like to have from Good Vibes. Please use the rafflecopter form below to enter. Simply log in using your email or Facebook and follow the directions for entering. Thank you.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

PYHO:Devin's story

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:35:00 +0000

As some of you may or may not know I lost my mother New Years Eve. She was ill off and on all year and this time was more then she could bounce back from. But there are things ya'll may not know..

Like the fact that in my 42 years of life there was only ONE Christmas Eve we were not together. It was during my first marriage when my then husband was stationed in Colorado. I was miserable. This Christmas Eve my husband took me and our children to see her in the hospital. Though she was on a ventilator and heavily sedated she opened her eyes to see us.

The whole time my mom was hospitalized until that night our youngest took it all in stride. He heard me when I said she would be home before we knew it and that she was going to be okay. He took it in stride when Christmas Eve was out of the norm and went to see her with us. When we asked him if he had any questions once we were home he shook his head. Two weeks in he looked longingly out of our back door and said " mom I miss memaw, I wish she would just come home and be crazy with me again".. If he only knew how those words shattered my heart into a trillion pieces.
He was a trooper through it all, steadfast and strong. Understanding when we explained that memaw was not getting better and that she was going to be with Jesus. His face unreadable. I worried. I prayed for God to give him peace through all of this. He never returned to the hospital.
When she passed he knew what death was. It was not his first rodeo. He went to the visitation. After first walking in to see her I did rather well. He walked about halfway up and turned and went back. I watched him closely. We sat together in the dinette area of the funeral home and every so often he would get up and pace. Finally I caught him coming out of the room where she was, shaking all over. His eyes were filled and he was trying so hard to be strong. He fell into my arms and just sobbed, all over. His body just wracked with deep wounds that I could not reach. Gene and I held him till he turned to his older brothers, then to my sisters.
It dawned on me then I had lied to him. Not intentionally. We all thought Mom would come home. He had held in his wounds and fears for 3 weeks, never saying anything. It came rushing out in a flood. All my calm and reserve was washed away in the sobbing of my child. I went back to the funeral of my own Memaw. I saw so much of his love for mommy in my love for my memaw. Much the same relationship. I can remember the day I saw her laid out and the breaking of my heart, like his was breaking now. The loss so great and unfathomable. I closed my eyes and saw him going to Mom's every afternoon and running around in her electric wheelchair, grabbing a pop and hugging her before running out the door. It was their ritual and now he was left with no one to have a ritual with.
His tears were tears of pure pain and loss. The rest of the night he would sit off by himself, processing the reality of it now. I would look over and see his lip quiver, his eyes well up and would find myself crying again. Even now the memory tears at my heart.
He is doing well now. He has been in her house and come and taken some things that he wanted. No one said a word about it. Little trinkets that he and she would have found amusing in their adventures. He sat in the chair one more time, put on the seat belt and turned it on. His run half hearted without memaw there to marvel at his driving ability in the contraption. I have to agree he drove it like he had been in one his whole life. Full throttle and without looking back. Trusting his instincts on things and spinning it around aimlessly in her living room floor before sliding it with ease back into it's resting place.
He misses her still. I catch him starting to say things about asking Memaw or calling it Memaw's house. It's okay it is still Mom's house. It always will be. Even after my sister owns it and makes it her own. Life goes on. But like Devin we have to learn to ride full throttle and never look back. Love as hard as we can, and never miss the opportunity to give and get a good hug...

I’m Back and boy has it been rough month..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 02:26:00 +0000

It’s Tuesday, the day I get to let it all hang out with Shawn and IA. I have been a slacker with good reason. My mother spent 23 days in the hospital before finally passing away on New Years Eve. It was a long month. I would never wish what she endured on anyone least of all her. The last week has been a blur. Making the decision to remove her from the ventilator was one of the hardest yet easiest we will ever make. Once we knew that she would always be attached to some form of machinery to help her breathe and that she would be constantly bed bound and never speak again we knew it had to be done. My mom was a vivacious woman. Period. Taking that from her was not going to be living, it wouldn’t be for anyone. She passed peacefully.

This week has been one of heartache and pain and memories. Tears and love flowing, and the inevitable pain that comes with a loss so great. The emotional upheaval that is certain to follow. But the peace that seems to surround me in the darkest of moments is overwhelming. The knowledge that I know where she went, I know she is at peace and I know she is with the ones she loved who had gone before. So that is where I have been the last month. I am sorry for being a cruddy blogger friend but my plate and heart have been full. As are my hands right now. Trying to relocate my groove, hoping it reappears soon.

When to buy the domain name and make the leap??

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 05:57:00 +0000

Beginning blogging can be overwhelming for nearly anyone who decides to sit down and put words on a screen. Finding where you fit and what you like to write about can be as varied as the blogs you find throughout the internet. What you shouldn’t have to worry about it is webhosting and your site.

When looking for the company to help you present the best side of your blog there are so many things to consider. It is important to weigh all the options available to you in the web hosting world. Find who provides you the most options for the least amount of money may or may not be the route to go. You need to learn about support options, what the cost covers, and how they provide you the best of hosting services. Domain names availability can also be a huge influence when choosing who provides your hosting services. With the varied amount of options in today’s inter web you have to be able to cover all your bases.

Gone are the days of simple dot com addresses, ushering in the era of dot org, dot, net and dot info. Those are still the smallest of the bunch. Worldwide access can be lost or gained on something as simple as a keystroke. Discover their ability through asking those owners who have well established reader bases who they choose to help host their blog.

Making the decision to leap into the world of domain ownership can be tricky and confusing but it doesn’t have to be. Do your research and let others help you on your way to making the best of your talents and gifts . A place that allows you to simply do what you do best, write and relate and leave the hard work to the experts.

And then she was gone

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:16:00 +0000

I know I have been a really bad bloggy friend this last month. But I cannot say the same for you my friends. You have overwhelmed me with your prayers and love on my Facebook page, my inbox, my phone. Mom passed away on December 31, 2011 around noon. It was peaceful and with as little pain as possible considering the hell she had been through the past 23 days prior.

We made the choice on the 27th to remove the ventilator from her. Although I know that mom made that choice long before we did. I cannot say that I don't understand. Several times she talked to long gone family members that we could not see. I think if I were in that position and got that close of a glimpse of glory land I would be hard pressed to stay here on this earth as well.

I was there the day they removed the ventilator, though I had not planned on being there. I had made my peace and said my goodbyes. But Doug wanted to see her so we went. I went in after it was removed, they had said she was sleeping comfortably, snoring. When I walked in and got beside her and held her hand, I called her name. " Mommy, mommy" She scrunched her nose, her mouth moving frantically, not fully aware that the tube that had been her enemy for so long was now removed. Holding her hand, my fingers running through the soft gray hair that now crowned her head I began to softly sing to her, "No sweeter name then the name of Jesus, no sweeter name have I ever known.' She looked me in the eye, mouthing, " I love you". Her voice taken by her struggle with the tube in her throat, her constant gagging to get it our damaging her vocal chords, not even a whisper escaping from her lips. I rubbed her hair, and kissed her forehead, " I love you too mommy, it's ok, I will be okay." My husband stood at the foot of the bed, her cousins Betty and Susie on her other side. I sing some more, ' What a healing Jesus I've found in you, what a healing Jesus you refresh, restore and renew. You're my healing Jesus, for such a time as this arise on healing wings son of righteousness" The words catching in my throat when faced with the reality of how her healing is going to arrive. I look up to see my cousins gone, replaced with her pastor and his wife. Two people who have such a heart for God and who loved mom almost as much as I do..did. They took her hand and patted her arm, no words coming from them. She continues to look at me and twist her head closer and closer to the side I am standing on singing to her. Tears forming in her eyes bring them to mine. I would rather see anything then my mother in pain or crying.

At first we think she wants to sit up but she shakes her head no, then we try to adjust her pillow which is met with another head shake. She hears Gene talking to Doug behind me and raises her head to see him, her hand coming loose from mine to reach for his. My heart breaking even more when I know in her heart he has gone far beyond just being her son in law, and crossed over to son. Knowing that for him this is like watching his own mom pass once more. He comes to me his arm around my waist his other hand in hers. Telling her he is there and it is okay. I continue to sing, it is my saving grace in these moments of fear and uncertainty of my future. It is my shelter in this storm.. "The anchor holds though my ship is battered. The anchor holds though my sails are torn. I have fallen on my knees as I faced life's raging seas the anchor holds, in spite of the storm" The familiarity of the notes second nature to me, the words ringing in my ears as I look at my mother. Her body marked by bruises and blisters from her time here in the hospital.

Her head still turning and scooting through it all until I realize what she wants. I lean over the bed, my forehead pressing against hers and our eyes lock. Both filling with tears, realizing how much is going to change in too soon a time. Another song, another verse, I just keep singing. It has bound us together all of our lives. Tears from her eyes, my throat filling with the thick feel of that saliva that forms when you really cry. When everything in your heart fills your throat and you can no longer hold it back. My tears rolls from my cheeks and land on her face, hers rolls down her face to the pillow below. Everyone else has ceased to exist in this moment. " And I thank God for the lighthouse, I owe my life to Him. Jesus is the lighthouse and from the rocks of sin, He has shown his light around me, that I might clearly see, if it wasn't for the lighthouse. Where would this ship be" Her mouth moving with the words followed by more I love yous. The pastor and his wife silent as their own tears fall from their face. The peace in the room just overwhelming. I want to run, I want to be anywhere but here but I can't not yet. ' Look for me, I will be there too. I realize when you arrive there will be so much to view, after you've been there 10000 years a million maybe 2, look for me for I will be there too."

"Mommy just get some rest I will be back tomorrow, I love you. " Her response to me has been consistent. She knows when I am there. We leave, me not knowing if she will be here tomorrow.

She was and one more trip to see her. Once again she is sleeping but awakes enough to look at me, while I sing to her. A replay nearly of the day before. All of her wires and tubes gone now. Down to simply an IV for pain meds and sedation. We leave that night. She closed her eyes the last time on New Years Eve at noon. Gene says she got her days and nights mixed up cause we feel she was holding on to prove the doctors wrong about not making it through the year.

I was not there for the last moments, I could not be nor did she want us to be. I cry still but not as hard and not as long. I have learned that sometimes death is simply a parting for a short while. I walked in her house yesterday to find an outfit for her, my sisters weeping openly, I was calm and collected. Peaceful. Though I am sure some are saying I am cold hearted or holding it in. I don't cry for my loss. I cry with the memories I have. Things that would have been done had mom still been here. Like the midnight call on NYE. When the phone didn't ring my heart broke. Knowing it would never ring from her again. It is a deep loss but she has spent a year preparing me, this I know. She is healed and whole and with her family that have gone on, this I know as well.

Her information can be found here: Richardson Funeral Home. You can leave candles or messages for the family here. Once again I cannot thank you enough for you love throughout all of this. You all have carried me through when I was sure I could not take one more step someone would text or call and remind me that we were not alone.

It's not the now I fear it is the later that terrifies me..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:23:00 +0000

One week. It has been that long since I last posted. I have learned a lot can change about everything in a week of time. I have learned that God has His way of preparing a road for you that you never wanted to be on. I have learned that even though a computer separates me from others I still call them friends. I have learned you can have friends that are closer then family and you may have never met them face to face.

I have learned that no matter how hard it is sometimes healing is in letting go, the knowledge that you have no reason to hold onto them when all has been said. How guilt can lead some to do things that are irrational because they cannot handle their guilt. How you have to let those people roll off of your back before they pitch their guilt on you.

I have learned that had this occurred 5 years ago, I would be a basket case. This last week I have been. Making a decision to allow your mom peace in whatever happens is not one made lightly. But I have learned when love is not enough to keep someone here. But love has to be enough to make the choice to allow them the ability to make the choice naturally.

God has given me a peace in these last couple of days. When I realized that yes that was the body of my mother there before me, but in my heart I knew that is where the likeness ended. The doctors have done all they can. It has become a vicious cycle and each xray showed her lungs getting worse instead of better, and they could not figure out why. Plus when they treat her lungs with breathing treatments and medications her kidneys have issues flushing all the meds out. When they treat her heart that is running away in the 120s and sometimes higher it affects her kidneys and her lungs. Getting the fluid off means it also takes the good stuff she needs up, like potassium and magnesium. So they stop the fluid medications to react to her heart and lungs and the cycle starts all over again. As a final test to see if they could find out why her lungs were not getting better they did a bronchoscopy. Basically they go down through the ventilator tube into her lungs and take a look and some samples of tissue to see what is in there. What they found was not good.

3 years ago mom was diagnosed with fibrous tumors in her lungs. They were just there. Not really anything to do with them as long as they were not growing. They are immuno-suppressed reactors, meaning when the body is having issues with it's health it turns on itself. So at some point in a health crisis this is what happened. Keep a check on them and know that they could begin to spread at any time. Well they picked now. And they have grown exceptionally fast, even for fibrosis. Her lungs are full. The treatment... steroids.. we all know what those do.. they swell you. The hope.. slow it down.. MAYBE push it back some, but the odds were against it. But the discovery of them slimmed her options and their ability to do more for her. Now the only options were the trach which now they know she would never be off of or to remove the vent and allow nature to happen. So we chose nature. We love enough to know when enough is enough. So tomorrow 3 of my sisters will give the doctors our decision. They have all opted to be there with her, and that is something I cannot do. I just can't.

Mom and I talked about this several times. I promised her I would not allow her to be kept alive with machines but I did not know if I could stand by her bed till she was gone. Her fear is I would come over and find her deceased. I told her tonight I loved her, that I understood, that it was okay and I would be okay. I was stronger then I used to be. That I could do this now without much guilt or regret because we had made memories in the last 4 years. Memories that no one can ever take.

So now I prepare for the after. After the vent is pulled and the phone rings with the final words. After the arrangements and funerals and all of the speeches and loved ones coming by to leave food and share memories and laughter and tears. When my kids go back to school, my sisters and husband go back to their lives and I find myself on this hill alone. Mom dying doesn't scare me I know I will see her again one day when I am much older if Jesus doesn't return.

It is the after that I am praying strength for. Right now I can say she is in the hospital and I can't talk to her, but what about when that phrase no longer holds true. What if I can't call her because heaven doesn't have a phone line? When I reach for my phone with the question that only mom knows the answer to, and I can't ask. When memories begin to fade and the pictures are put away, and life goes on for everyone else, and the house is quiet, and I can't walk out and feed my animals or go to my car and not see her house. When my heart wants to walk in and see her white hair sticking out over the top of her recliner where she fell asleep watching TV? Then what?? Can anyone answer that?? Cause I really need one right about now..

Who can turn down a recipe made with beer????

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 18:00:00 +0000

48 hours and they will know more of where we go with mom. She now has a UTI, her lungs are still filled with fluid but no pneumonia. But God still heals and reigns and I am standing on HIS word.

But keep those prayers coming, mom is a fighter, and I believe in miracles.

I promised a recipe and I am never one to break a promise if I can avoid it. This is a staple of our Christmas get togethers.

Beer Cheese.. I know sounds odd doesn't it, has to be something a redneck thought of, but it is addictive. My kids beg for this stuff year round. What you need:

A half can of stale beer ( any kind but I use Bud Light)

One pound of SHARP Cheddar shredded

One pound of Velveeta cheese

One Medium onion grated fine

Worchestshire sauce to taste

Garlic powder to taste

Tabasco sauce to taste

Miracle whip to thin later

You can do 2 things to make your beer stale. The quickest way is to pour it from glass to glass till it stops foaming or open it and sit it on the counter for a few hours.

Combine the cheeses and beer and onion together. You can do this in a blender or food processor. Once thoroughly combined add the tabasco, worchestsire, and garlic powder. If you prefer a spicier kick add more tabasco. We prefer ours to do what I call a sneak burn. They will mix in and kill the taste of the beer the more you add in. The tabasco will kick in after a few seconds in your mouth. Cover and let set for a day to allow all the flavors to mix in and mingle together. Scoop out into serving bowl and add Miracle Whip to thin the cheese down for use on crackers and such. Enjoy.

This stuff is ADDICTIVE.

Happiness Project

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 14:02:00 +0000

Leigh is always reminding us of the happiness to be found in the everyday that we often overlook. With my mom still in the hospital and still in critical condition. Today they came in and said they fear they have crossed that point where she will heal.
they think she may always have to have help breathing because she has been so sick and fluid is building back on her lungs.. but I believe that God still sits high and looks low, that He is still in the healing business and moves in ways we will never understand. So this pic is from last Christmas.. these babies need their memaw.. period.

When faced with life choices for loved ones do you know what they want?

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:37:00 +0000

Christmas has snuck up on us so fast. Most of my shopping is complete other then a few things here and there. Mom is still in ICU but still feisty. Today she got her hands on her tube again and my sister walked in about that time. I had a long talk with her yesterday. Despite sedatives and heavy pain meds she still hears us and responds to us, even if it is just by snarling her nose at us or raising her eyebrows. However, she did give me a heart dropping scare on Saturday.

See I have an uncle who is shall we say umm not very enthusiastic and positive thinking about a lot of things, especially when someone is ill. Twice he made references to mommy having issues like my Memaw did when she passed away. Apparently he has in his mind that Memaw was very ill and they failed to transfer her to Lexington where she could get more specialized help in ample time. This led to her having a stroke and passing away. The bad part is that is NOT what happened. Memaw had heart problems for years, YEARS. Memaw went in with chest pain and had a heart attack. She did eventually pass from it, but not immediately. Like mom she was on a vent for a while. However, she never had pneumonia, which is what got mom admitted. She was not fighting like mom, she was not alert like mom. So Saturday when mom ripped out her tube and was doing good then kind of had a minor setback it dawned on me the date. 25 years. to. the. day. 25 years since my Memaw had left us and went to be with God, and my heart flipped.

Mom didn't know the days and I was not about to mention it to anyone, but my prayers got louder, and my resolve got stronger. At one point she roused up and got irritated by them suctioning her throat of the phlegm that is invariable with a tube. I rubbed her hand and spoke calmly to her and watched as she mouthed something. I leaned in closer trying to read her lips. "Let me go, just let me go, let me go". My heart dropped. Long day, lot of stress and worry and it hit me. Had I made the wrong choice in doing all I could to save her. Is that really what she would have wanted?? Despite her having told me that if that choice ever came for them to do what they could to save her if there was a chance she would recuperate. That was the case here. But suddenly I was a basket case. I was second guessing my choices for her care, was I doing it because I could not let go? Because I had to be able to say I did everything I could for her life?

The thought overwhelmed me and I crumbled as I stepped out of the room. The respiratory therapist shocked by my sudden shift in mood. She followed me to the hall. Seconds before I had watched as they laid my mother flat and she began to struggle for breath. Straining herself off the bed like a fish out of water, it made my heart stop. It was still in my head moments later when she mouthed those words. The nurse and Gene talked me down. Telling me how she was referring to the restraints and tubes that tied her to the bed. She was ready to go home, at least she thought she was. The meds were affecting her and it just hit me the wrong way. I clung to their thoughts because mine were too scary to wander through. Too dark and morbid and frighteningly lonely and scary for me.

They sent me outside and I sat in the car, flashing back to the funeral for my Memaw. How strong my mom was until she went to put the rose in her hand. When reality struck her fully, the weight of her hand was too much for mom. I thought of how much like my mom I really am, despite my best efforts to not 'be her'. I tried to encompass the thoughts to Gene in words in the car. Why I can't stay all night with her in that condition. The affect it has on me. How I couldn't make my sisters understand, they just couldn't. I mean yes she is OUR mother, but there is something different with her and I. Gene said, " Angel, from the day you were born you have been within reach of your mother all of your life. Other then the year you spent in Colorado and a month in Texas the two have you have been a functioning unit since your birth. Even if you didn't SEE her daily you talk to her on the phone several times a day. In the last 4 years you have absolutely strengthened that connection with her living behind us. For you it is as painful as losing one of our kids. It is in your face every minute of every day. I get it.. I really do. "

He put it in words that I could not vocalize. His words made me realize just how close we really are. It has also made me aware that when she comes home I need to have her make a living will. I don't want this decision on my head again. I would do it again without a doubt, but I want to KNOW in writing that is what she would want.

Hug your family close, as morbid as it seems make sure you have all your paperwork in order and others know where to find it and what it contains. Don't leave it up to your kids. Just don't. We cannot handle that kind of decision and think that if we were wrong we subjected you to pain and trauma you never wanted. I am grateful that God has had his hand on her and me for all of this. He and Gene have been my rock through it all.

Tomorrow I promise recipes and less of the sad stuff. She is on an uphill climb to total healing and so am I.

FUF Illness needs to get the hell out of here

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:18:00 +0000

It's Friday and the day we get to let it all loose and tell the world just what it can do with some things we got dealt this week. Boobies and Christy give us the freedom to use the button or not, use the actual word or not but the meaning is still the same FUFRIDAY..

It has been a rough week in this household. My mom went downhill fast with a respiratory illness that she kept ignoring. I know you are saying, "Angel your mom would never ignore her health like that" and to that I would say, " You are new here aren't you?"

She wound up hospitalized on my birthday last Thursday with pneumonia. She was doing fairly well . We saw her every day and she was not real thrilled with the breathing treatments that smelled a lot like rotten eggs. FLock you to the companies that create that crap. Surely you can find a way to make it smell better then that, especially if you expect people to inhale that crap for 5 minutes at a time.

Saturday morning we went to see her before we went out to eat for our birthdays in Lexington. It was a good day until we got the call that mom had taken a turn for the worse and was being moved to ICU at the hospital. We rush back to find her on a full face breathing mask. Her oxygen was a bit low but she was doing fairly well. Till Tuesday of this week. When she really bottomed out. Tuesday morning she was fine and talking to everyone. Tuesday night she was combative and confused.
Did I mention that the nurses at the hospital really had the attitude that they couldn't be bothered with her? Yeah , they were hoping to get her transferred to Lexington but there was no room. She was WILD, biting, scratching , cussing, laughing, flipping her legs over the bed. Combo of the meds and the low oxygen levels.
They finally got her transferred Wednesday afternoon. She is now on a ventilator. She is doing better but still not something I wanted to see. Nor did any of us want to have to hold her hands and pry her fingers loose from everything before. My personal opinion is that if a family member is in that kind of shape expecting the family to sit there all night and control them is ridiculous and asking way too much. We know she was not in her right mind but that did not stop it from hurting us. In those situations I don't care is someone is headed for overtime GIVE IT TO THEM. My mom's insurance would have paid for the care period.. no excuse. Instead my husband and I fought her for 5 hours before my other sister came in and did it for 6 hours when we got back. Then a 3rd sister showed up and at times it took all 4 of us to calm her. We were exhausted, emotionally and physically. And what kind of intensive care unit has ONE nurse with 4 patients AND we could never find her. FOR ANYTHING! Alarm going off, oh well she doesn't care. Yeah I was LIVID and kept my mouth closed until they had her out of there. NOW I am about to blow up. I think what made it worse was her doctor basically informed me he KNEW she needed a vent but refused to do it there because he knew they would not monitor and watch her correctly.
Flock you Pneumonia and Bronchitis.. because now Doug is sick with them as well. So I have mom in a hospital an hour away and a sick kid at home. OH OH and all the Christmas stuff to still do.. I am exhausted.. but cookies and peanut butter balls here I come..

TTUT- What if I don't know what to say??

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:31:00 +0000

Normally by now this post would have been up for hours. But my internet provider had other plans. Like an outage that lasted nearly 12 hours.. Do you know what 12 hours without internet is like for a SAHM in an empty house?? It isn't pretty let me tell you. Especially when the aforementioned woman has a mother in ICU. So if you pray I need them right now. Lots of them. Strength, healing, peace and wholeness to her and me. Most of the Christmas shopping is done, other then a few things here and there. I need to get over and finish wrapping up the gifts mom has over there. I have to hang on to the fact that she will be home for Christmas. I know this in my heart. See this is not a good month for our family. My memaw and uncle both passed this month several years ago and a few years apart. And my youngest said the only thing he wants is all of his family together. That has to happen. It just has to. Do you know what else happens to a woman who has no internet and nothing but time and worry on her hands?? She smokes.. a lot.. UGH!!In my defense however, several of them were lit and then left to burn up as I did laundry and took out trash and the like. Only to come back and see it had burnt up. So it's not that bad.. Oh who am I kidding. I need to quit. I have to quit. Period. Smoking and coffee have saved many a life in this house many a time.. ahem. So I didn't go to the hospital today. I just couldn't. I had a good breakdown today though. The fear was overwhelming and the faith was weak. I cried, and cried and snotted. You know how we do. Then I pulled my big girl panties up and got it back together. Placed my foot on the rock of Christ and spent the next hour doing laundry and singing praise and worship songs. I probably should eat but I am not hungry. Ha that isn't gonna hurt my figure though. I could hibernate for the winter and live off the fat stores. As much as I love Christmas that thought has crossed my mind. Go to bed and sleep till mom gets better and comes home, through the holidays so I don't have to smile like I am happy when what I really want to do is scream ENOUGH. I know they say God doesn't give us more then we can handle I just really wish he didn't trust us so much sometimes. Hook up with Shawn and IA for TTUT.. I did.. get some things off your chest. No rules just letting it all hang out. Sorry I am so depressing and have missed the blogs today, blame Windstream.

We interrupt this blog for a prayer request..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:45:00 +0000

October.. that is the last time she was in the hospital. That means we made it through an entire month, one with a HUGE holiday that she of course overdid it for, and wasn't too sick. A month spent shopping and visiting with friends and family. After Thanksgiving she got a nasty cold, I was worried but she pshawed me off. As she always does. Finally I got her to call the doctor. December the 8th he sent her straight to the hospital, do not pass go don't stop at the grocery store. The orders she hates.

Breathing treatments were begun, horrible rotten egg smelling vapor that made her dry cough more productive. The stuff coming out tested and shows she has pneumonia and apparently a yeast infection in her lungs. Saturday she went downhill.

We were there Saturday morning, she was laughing and joking and coughing. By afternoon her breathing became difficult and fast, not going deep enough to register and her oxygen levels were bottoming out. She is ICU now. She came around yesterday but Saturday we were concerned. But it looks eerily familiar, like September, when they discovered she had blood clots in her lungs. The only difference in then and now is she didn't have pneumonia that time.

They put her on a Bipap machine. It is basically one step from a ventilator. It gives her breaths and yet also allows her to take some on her own. It helps her get deeper ones without struggling. Needless to say the strain has been wreaking havoc on her heart and kidneys as well. She is better then she was Saturday by far, but still balancing on a precarious cliff. Her white cell count is back to normal so why still so much trouble breathing and maintaining her oxygen levels?? I fear Blood clots again. Apparently so do the nurses. We will find out more tonight.

But she is talking and laughing again, she wasn't Saturday night. That is a positive. She will come out of this, with time. I stand on that. God is still on the throne and he is still in the healing business.

Saturday when she was so rough I went in with my prayer warrior garment on. Her sats were staying in the low 80s and her heart rate was over 100 not good when she has a pacemaker. I went to war in the spiritual realm and the devil and I had a long talk over who was in control. He didn't win, and he isn't going to. While I prayed over her and the tears were flowing her machines quit setting off alarms. Her heart rate slowed to the low 90s and her oxygen rose to 90-92. When I went to walk out they tried to act up again and I walked back in and reminded the devil that just because I was gone didn't mean God was, and sure didn't mean the blood still didn't have her covered. I stand on that word of healing. She will be home for Christmas, even if we have to tie her in her chair to keep her from overdoing it.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts and I am sorry I have missed several blogs, but I hope you can understand.

I will be honest Saturday I was shaky in my hopes. It looked bad. I found myself recalling the loss of my uncle and my grandmother about this time several years ago. My uncle passed away on the same day his mother had been buried several years before. I prayed that there would not be another loss in this month.

I asked my youngest what he wanted for Christmas. Usually he has a list as long as my arm, yet he had mentioned nothing this year that he wanted. Not a toy, not a game, nothing. Finally he said , " Mom I want my whole family together for Christmas, that is all I want." I had to cry. I have to believe that God will honor that kind of selfless, child like faith of a request. I have to stand and I will that she will be home for Christmas. Just keep praying for us all please..

Naughty or Nice Good Vibes has got it..

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 14:52:00 +0000

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So let us help you get the perfect gift for whoever is on your list.

It's been one heck of a Week FUF

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 13:51:00 +0000

It's FRIDAYYYYYY and you know that means it's FUF with the unstoppable Boobies and Christy.

Flock you to the creeping crud that has been making it's way over the hill. First me last week, now the youngest has been home for 4 days with it. Had an appointment for him yesterday, only to have to take my mom to her appointment then straight to the hospital to be admitted for Pneumonia. So rescheduled him for today.

Flock you to the school system who had the guidance counselor call this morning cause Devin has been absent since Tuesday. DUHHH I know he is out... yes I am taking him to the Doctor.. you will get your precious notes people chill would ya. I have enough on my plate without having ya'll on there too. My kids are A and B students even WHEN they have to miss due to stupid illness.

Yesterday was my birthday.. in which I got to take my mom to hospital. Diagnosis? Pneumonia, Congestive heart failure and edema. You know I have only been telling her for a week she was looking swelled. Despite being on a fluid pill daily. Yeah happy birthday to me... sighs..

Although hubby did get me a Kitchen Aid stand mixer for my birthday.. woot woot.. Now I just need to find a place to order more of the beaters as this one only comes with batter and dough.. ahem. Shopping anyone??

Flock you to Windstream who are apparently having issues with internet connection in a central office. This makes me pop on and off line without warning. Me and apparently 20 or so others. This has been going on for 3 weeks now.. Can we say CREDIT to my account for the trouble?? That would be NICE since it is something on YOUR end and not mine.. ahem..

Ok I think I am done for today.. What do you need to get off your chest??

These are a few of my favorite things... Writer's workshop

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:55:00 +0000

One of the prompts for Writer's Workshop this week was our favorite ornaments. I hate having to choose and have an affinity for old style looking ornaments and handmade delicate things. So I have 2 trees..

One is for all of my pretties

The other for the kids and all the things they have acquired through the years.

On my Pretties tree I have The Dear God series

The Fat man on a Fat boy

and the ladder filled with helpers

On the kids tree we have memories of how small they used to be

Ornaments purchased specifically for them to have when they get out on their own

And cheesy smiles of school crafted memories

My trees are covered with my memories and I wouldn't change it for the world..

This is part of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop

PYHO- Healing has no time limit so why does the crime??

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:16:00 +0000

Linking up with Shell for Pour your heart out.. remember be respectful...or move on.

We can't prosecute. Those are the words spoken to 2 of the men who recently admitted they were molested as children by Syracuse University Assistant coach Bernie Fine. The statute of limitations for the crime has expired. Why is there even a time limit?? I think in cases like this and murder there should NEVER be a time limit. For many reasons.
Do you know how many people are abused and have learned coping methods of detachment so well that they no longer remember the abuse?? That it may only come forward in a moment of time later when something is said or done that brings that memory crashing back to the forefront of their minds.
The power of the mind to protect is sometimes amazing. How it enables us to 'forget' or detaches the feelings from the moment to make it seem like only a nightmare and never a reality. The ability it astounding. Our ability to survive from such a horrific incident in childhood is equally amazing.
But when the memories are resurrected years later, then what??
We are left to sort the memories and hopefully find the strength to tell someone. To help our inner child heal, and hopefully protect another innocent child. Except the law doesn't see it that way. Even though they believe these men, they can do nothing to help them. They can do nothing to get them the justice they so rightly deserve.
You may say , 'well apparently they moved on , they lived life, had kids or whatever'. But as a survivor I can say that it isn't that simple. When the memories are hindered there are moments in time when we feel the breeze of a past moment flee through our mind's eye. We can inhale deeply and smell an aroma that puts a crack in the door, but never fully opens it. Before we get there though we have the nightmares, the lack of trust, the continuous shame of what did we do to deserve it. Life long scars and wounds that threaten to fester and puss like the blackness of the memory that made them. We spend our lives either running from them or confronting them, more often running and denying. In that behavior we set ourselves up for failure over and over again, without having to put our finger on just why we fail. While our abusers continue on as if we never existed. They live life without fear or shame because they have no ability to feel those things. They have convinced themselves their abuse was love, twisted and abnormal in even the most advanced sense , but love nonetheless.
Our fear and paranoia extends to beyond the snippets of memories and into our extensions of life. If we marry we worry our spouses will 'know' . If we have kids we tend to be hyper-vigilant in protecting them from the 'monsters'. All while trying to be normal, when life is anything but.
We don't have a statute of limitation on healing, and surviving. Regardless of where we are on the path to recovery that abuse is just as much a part of our everyday as breathing and eating is. So putting a time limit on it is useless for us, and it should be for the abusers as well. It just should.

My Best Friend Guest Post

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:35:00 +0000

Thanks for the post from Rashad Townsend
Sometimes I don’t know what I would do without my best friend. We’ve been best friends since we were kids, and no one else knows me like she does. It’s like our connection was instant, and hasn’t ever changed throughout the years. She is so helpful when it comes to all aspects of my life. I can trust her with anything. I know I can ask her for advice on just about anything and she would have the right answer. She can help me with my dating problems, family issues, and even help with my move to Charlotte. She recommended that I search satellite tv charlotte, and I immediately found the right satellite TV package for my home. We’ve lived apart for a while now, so I was so excited when my job transferred me to Charlotte. She has lived there for years now, and I have always enjoyed it when I come to visit. It’s going to be great to be reunited and have someone nearby that I can lean on. She might even have some friend she can fix me up with.

Yeah Yeah I am a 2 timer , TTUT and Happiness Project, I need you to go vote again.

noreply@blogger.com (angel shrout) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:16:00 +0000

I am such a two timer. I hate having to make a choice between 2 of my favorite carnivals. Leigh is dedicated to bringing happiness one photo at a time and Shawn and IA just want us to Talk to them on Tuesday. About anything. This weekend we got all of our boys together and headed to Lexington. We braved the crazies of traffic and the Mall for some shopping and fun. I spent way more time in Lush then I thought possible. Ahem my bathroom may or may not smell like the store currently. I got Gene some shampoo bar called Squeaky Green it smells awesome. He cracks up cause he says it looks as if they have mashed pieces of rice in it. Even Devin fell in love and picked out his own bar of soap. Then we went to Sears. Where I learned that in the off season Santa works in the tool section of the store, which of course led Gene to say that no one could say Santa wasn't a real man. I mean like anyone would, I do enough to get on the naughty list without cracking on Santa and his masculinity. Yeah he lives with a bunch of non aging Elves and he talks to deer instead of shooting them.. but who am I to judge. Ahem. OH yeah and Santa's let me get his picture to prove what I just told you..see.

Then we made our way to Southern Lights at the Kentucky Horse Park. Which was interesting since neither I nor Gene knew exactly how to get there. Yeah Yeah I know bad Kentuckian, I hear ya I hear ya. Well in my defense I had been there once forever ago when I was still a tween and my dad worked there. Every year they set up large light displays and charge so much a carload to drive through the park and see the light shows. Then you get to go in the visitors center where they have displays from Native Kentucky vendors with their unique gifts. They even had the 12 days of Christmas in light displays, one for each line. I won't put them all here, you may thank me later. They also had a petting zoo, and the ability to ride a camel or a pony. Those were a bit expensive so we skipped them but did do the petting zoo. I also got the guys to stand still long enough to get their picture in front of the HUGE Christmas Tree.

Which is not to be confused with the TALKING Christmas Tree that greeted us at the front of the building. The petting zoo had the typical and not so typical. Donkeys and goats. Kangaroos, Zebras, Porcupines *who were apparently exhibitionists and were attempting to make baby pincushions in front of everyone before they decided it might be better to wait till they were alone*. The kangaroos were so soft, I was shocked. But these pygmy goats cracked me up. They heard me drop the quarter in the feed dispenser and literally stuck their heads through the fencing and tried to open the door with their tongues. When I would put my hand down there they would lick and lick. They were funny. They kind of reminded me of my kids on pizza or lasagna night bwhahahah..

Oh Rachel and Itty Bit made it to the finals of the Tiny Prints contest. Now we need you more then ever to go VOTE and help them win this contest. Their win is a guarantee of the prize money to help babies born with congenital heart defects life saving treatments and surgeries. Help give every baby a chance at a Merry Christmas. Also if you get the chance go help Matthew West who is giving the proceeds of the purchase of his new song to the Dax Locke foundation. This family lost their son to a Leukemia. When doctors told them he would not live till Christmas, his dad set out the Christmas lights in September, determined that he would see it, even if they had to make it come early. Intrigued by why they had their lights out so early their neighbors heard of the plight and began decorating their houses as well. Then the next street and the next until even businesses and the town was lit up. In the middle of September and October. Though Dax did not make it his family would like to raise enough money to run the St. Jude Children's Hospital for ONE DAY. With our help we can make that happen.