Here are some of the recent books and articles I've discovered to me keep focused on how lucky I am to be a writer -- and away from such words as "grind," "sad," and "oppressive."

"Reaching the Next Rung," Romance Writers Report, Jan. 2018

Several authors are quoted in this article from the January 2018 issue of the Romance Writers of America magazine, but my favorite advice came from bestselling author Joan Johnston. Joan offers great actionable advice for a long-term career:

• Schedule your time so writing is a priority.
• Make personal contacts with agents and editors who attend conferences.
• Form a review crew to post digital reviews of your novel. (I'd never heard of his before. Contact me if you're interested.)
• Do a newsletter at least once a month to stay in touch with readers.

She also says:

"You must give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about."

This is so obvious, but with demands of writing, marketing, working, and taking care of the family and the house, so easily forgotten. It reminded me to embrace the fun in my life as necessary. #Fillthewell is my new favorite social media hashtag.

Be the Gateway, A Practical Guide to Sharing Your Creative Work and Engaging an Audience by Dan Blank

I'm a longtime fan of author coach Dan Blank, who's great at offering advice that's tough yet caring for the creative spirit. This book about marketing for creative professionals blew my mind.

"Be the gateway. ... Instead of selling a product in a marketplace, you become the gateway for how your work can shape the world the world for others and inspire them."

The thesis of this book is that rather than focusing on the sell of your creative work, focus on sharing the messages that are important to you. Dan points out that, through our creative efforts, we've created this amazing conduit for sharing the beliefs that shape us. Don't waste that conduit on screaming about the 99-cent sale. Instead, share what you're passionate about. By framing the world for others in ways they can identify with or find value in, we create advocates. People don't want "deals;" they want to believe in something.

Dan puts it simply:

"Tell me about the conversations you would love to be having with others."

Mind blown. I could suddenly see my social media, marketing, newsletters, etc., as an opportunity instead of a burden. I made a list of the themes that are important to me: strong women and the confident men who love them that way, discovering your integral self, enthusiasm and compassion for a diverse world, the grandeur and value of healthy romantic partnerships, the value of filling the well... The list goes on

With Dan's practical tips on how to implement his mind-blowing ideas, I look forward to indoctrinating all of you.

Pep Talks for Writers, 52 Insight and Actions to Boost Your Creative Mojo by Grant Faulkner

Grant Faulkner, the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month, helps support the dreams and energies of almost 400,000 writers who participate in November's writing sprint. So he knows a lot about pep talks.

He's a dedicated writer himself; we worked at the same newspaper in our 20s and when my husband and I invited him out for a weekend brunch, he said no because he had to stay home and write. In Pep Talk's 52 short and inspiring chapters with titles like "Make Your Creativity into a Routine," "Fail Often...Fail Better," and "Persisting Through Rejection," he's able to pair his passion and skill for writing with practical, soul-enriching advice.

"Approaching the world with a creative mindset is wildly transforming--because suddenly you're not accepting the world as it's delivered to you, but living through your vision of life."

He's an advocate for the creator and speaks to the person who needs to keep their feet on the ground (or their ass in the seat) when their head is in the clouds. I love this paragraph about finding your own inspiration:

"...You are the all-powerful God that sends those words--those story-igniting lightning bolts--into a world that's coming to life before your own eyes. You are your own muse."

The Wise Heart, A Guide to the Universal Teaching of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield

After a tough second semester in college, my son came home early last spring. I desperately needed to get out of my head, out of my anxiety and worry, and a dear friend handed me this book.

The Wise Heart is a wonderful way to reset. Instead of thinking that we can control everything and that all of our beliefs are true, psychologist Jack Kornfield helps guide you through Buddhist teachings that help you think bigger, more holistically, and a little softer.

We think so many things horrible things about ourselves, and for authors, that can be especially true: We're not writing enough, we're not marketing enough, we're not getting any better, everything we do sucks. This book helps you to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself and the people around you. A phrase he asks you to recite, that I think can be especially effective for the author:

May I be held in compassion. May my pain and sorrow be eased. My I be at peace.

I'm always looking for inspiration.

Please tell me about a recent book, song, movie, painting, comic, or squiggle on the sidewalk that inspired you.

I had no idea, either. 

With a completed book under my belt and a full manuscript out to agents, I realized I needed to be better prepared. So I took to Facebook, where I'm connected to a supportive and information-rich network of authors thanks to my years of membership with the Washington Romance Writers of DC, and asked the following question:

Below are some of the phenomenal answers. Romance and fantasy author Fallon DeMornay pointed me to this fantastic blog from her agent, Jim McCarthy of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret, and many of the questions are from that truly helpful article.

• Why do you believe in my work?
• What is your plan to build my career beyond this first novel?
• How involved will you get in revisions before you submit it to an editor?
• What about my book did you respond to?
• How much revision do you think will be necessary? Are you expecting minimal changes or a major rewrite?
• What's your editorial style?
• How long have you been with your agency? What support do you have in your agency? What connections do you have to the romance world?
• How many clients do you have?
• What is your typical response time to email/phone calls?
• How do you like to communicate (email vs. phone)? And how often do you communicate during a submission?
• What happens if you don't sell this book? Revise? Something new? Part ways?
• How many editors do you go to before giving up? How does your submission process work?
• What percentage of projects that you sign do you sell?
• How long is your average client relationship?
• Who do you work with to sell foreign/film rights? Do you handle contracts? Rights? If not, who does?
• What does your agency agreement look like?
• Can I speak to one or two of your clients about their experiences working with you?

Historical romance author Sally MacKenzie also shared with me a blog she'd written about choosing an agent. She has wonderful suggestions for things to consider before you sign on the dotted line.

Did I want an agent who read my work and gave me editorial feedback or one who considered her job only to sell? Was it important to me to be with a Big Name Agency? Would I mind being a small fish in a big pond? Would I care if I didn’t work with my Big Name Agent but with her assistant instead? How did I want to communicate with my agent—snail mail, phone, email—and how quickly did I want to hear back from her? Was she based in New York City—and did I think her location was at all important? Did I care if my agent was male or female?

I still plan to do all the screaming and crying and running if and when I get "the call." But thanks to some dear friends, I'm better armed to make sure that the agent I sign with can help me keep my dream going.

Want to learn more about the writing journey from unpublished to (hopefully) published?

In 2011, I finished a book. I sweated over it, I celebrated it, I won a contest with it, and then, when I received, like, eight rejections for it (I'm not kidding), I threw it under the proverbial bed and declared that I was done with fiction writing.

Perhaps I wasn't quite as dramatic as all that, but it still wasn't pretty.

Now, seven years later, after starting a successful freelance business that forced me to write quickly and daily, after discovering the joys of writing serially to enthusiastic fans on Wattpad, and after completing a 50,000-word fanfic and a short story that I'm incredibly proud of, I've completed another book.

On Dec. 18, 2017, I gave myself the Christmas present of completing The Billionaire's Prince, a story about a sexy female billionaire who strikes a bargain with a prince. In return for three nights a month in his bed, she will give him enough money to save his kingdom. All she wants is three nights a month in his bed for a year. And his heir.

I know. Juicy.

Everything has changed about the world of romance fiction since 2011. Fortunately, everything about how I write has changed, too.

I'm a "yes-er" instead of a "no-er."

I remember sitting at the back of the room at a Washington Romance Writers' retreat, arms crossed, as Angela James of Carina Press, Harlequin's digital-first imprint, told us about the future of online books. This would have been...2009? My girlfriend and I declared that we would NEVER limit our beautiful books to the digital world.

Yep, I said that.

My tiny little mind has grown beyond those early limitations and now I'm excited about what technology has offered us storytellers. The scrolling panels of online comics, the serial pacing of reader/writer platforms like Wattpad and Radish, and the "let's throw it at the wall and see what sticks" mode of modern-day storytelling have taught me the freedom unleashed by technology. Our ability to tell a story in a way that best meets the needs of that story is only limited by our imagination. And our stubbornly crossed arms.

I've turned down my perfectionist knob.

I became a docent at the Hillwood Museum in Washington, D.C., this year, and during my training, our brilliant instructors shared with us the concept of "good but growing." Professional athletes at the top of their field don't rest on their laurels, they explained. Instead, they continue to work and train.

I found this concept revolutionary.

Instead of trying to become the "perfect" author, I should look at myself as "good but growing." I will always be learning. I will always be training and changing.  And instead of assessing the work through the lens of "perfect," I should think of its "keeps and changes." What should be kept? What should be changed? This assessment takes away (somewhat) the sting of objective criticism.

More importantly, this whole concept of "good but growing" keeps me from trying to reach the imprisoning retirement home of "perfection" and instead allows me to stay out on the open road.

I stayed true to my own voice and path.

My mom likes to talk about the freedoms that come with age, and while I roll my eyes when she talks this way (because I'm a daughter and she's the mom), I also have to agree with her.

Yes, mom.

Because The Billionaire's Prince was written using myself as true north. It was written saying things I wanted to say about strong women and supportive men and love and sex and family and self-image. I plan to take this compass into the submission process and, hopefully, the publishing process. I'm old enough now to understand that a dream achieved without listening to the directives of your heart is no dream at all.

I've transformed into a pantser.

Seven years ago, I would have sworn to you that I can't write a book without knowing exactly where it was going.

And then, I tried to write three books with elaborate outlines and notecards and emotional arcs and mountains of research. I hated them. I spent three months doing prep work for the last book I attempted, even taking an intensive course about establishing story theme. I literally could not get through the first chapter.

I began the popular fanfiction piece I wrote on Wattpad with nothing but a threat I offer my husband when he doesn't take good physical care of himself: "If you die young, I'm going to take your life insurance money and buy a gigolo." I began writing The Billionaire's Prince with one single solitary concept: What if the billionaire was a woman? I was as surprised by the twists and turns in that story as the readers. I knew my hero had a sister five seconds before she burst into the room. The photographer who caught my couple de flagrante surprised me as much as he did the couple.

I'm sure my writing method will twist and turn over time as much as my stories. That's because I'm good. But growing.

I'm in love.

I can build kingdoms. I can create corporations and birth beautiful villages in the Spanish mountains and swirl together the most delectable glass of red wine you've ever tasted.

I can make you sweat and break your heart. Don't worry, I'm usually crying right there with you.

And then I take a break for lunch.

"If you don't create, you hurt yourself," says Grant Faulkner in his book, Pep Talks for Writers. "Making art tells you who you are. Making art in turn makes you."

I make myself everyday when I sit down to write. When the words feel stifled, I make myself into someone grouchy and mean, wondering why everything pokes and fits too small until I remember, "Oh yeah, I had a shitty writing day."

But when the words flow, I make myself into something glorious. I find all kinds of joy in this life, but there is nothing that makes me feel more powerful, more capable, more worthy of my place here on this planet than a good day of writing my romance novel.

I've found love. I won't give it up again.

Jewels and dresses.

What more does a museum need?

My favorite museum in Washington, D.C., the Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens (perhaps it's my favorite because I'm a docent there), has two perfect ladies-who-lunch exhibits right now:

• "Spectacular Gems and Jewelry" which showcases 50 pieces of Marjorie Merriweather Post's jewelry, many of which can usually only be seen at the Natural History Museum.
• And "A Perfect Fit: Oldric Royce and Marjorie Merriweather Post" which displays 11 of the stunning dresses that luxury designer Oldric Royce created for Post.

Marjorie Merriweather Post was the owner of the Postum Cereal Company, which later became the General Foods Corporation, and one of the richest women in the United States before her death in 1973. She also was a renowned collector -- her beautiful Georgian home in the midst of 25 acres of trees and gardens in Northwest D.C. is the museum she left for all of us to enjoy her French and Russian Imperial decorative arts collection. Here you can see the furniture, porcelain, and tapestries that once belonged to European nobility and that Post used to entertain and educate congress people, ambassadors, high school students, and returning Vietnam War veterans.

Her collecting enthusiasm extended to her clothes and jewelry.

"Spectacular," which will be in the Adirondack Building behind the house until Jan. 7, 2018, gathers together 50 of her most notable pieces of jewelry, including the mammoth pear-shaped diamond earrings that once belonged to Marie Antoinette and the Cartier emerald-and-diamond brooch with its 250 carats of 17th century Mughal emeralds. Post's collection is notable because of the historic origins of some of her pieces, the designers she worked with (like Cartier, Henry Winston, and Van Cleef & Arpels), and the fact that she chose most of the pieces herself, rather than having them gifted to her. Always the philanthropist, Post donated many of the pieces to the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum, where they are usually displayed in the National Gem Collection Gallery.

We docents are very happy to have these beautiful pieces back home for a visit.

Post also worked with some of the top fashion designers of her day, and the exhibit "A Perfect Fit: Oldric Royce and Marjorie Merriweather Post," currently displayed in Post's bedroom, shows off 11 beautiful dresses that Royce created for Post during their 25-year relationship. Royce designed dresses for Mamie Eisenhower, Eleanor Roosevelt, and ultimately Marjorie Merriweather Post. They had the kind of relationship where they sent each other thank you notes for thank you notes, where Royce designed her dresses even after he retired, where he walked fabric samples over to Bob Shoes so her shoes would perfectly match her dress. "I always try to please my customers," Royce wrote to Marjorie, "but you are one of the very few who take the time to tell me that I succeeded."

No better words describe this beautiful, powerful, dazzling lady. 

Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens

On Thursday evenings throughout October, Hillwood will be hosting the Spectacular Lecture Series where renowned jewelry experts will discuss aspects of historical and contemporary jewelry. Tickets for the theater are sold out, but Hillwood will be providing a live simulcast in an adjacent building for $5.

• Hollywood Glamour: Jewelry from the Silver Screen, Oct. 19, 5:30-8 p.m.

• Contemporary Interest in Gems and Jewelry, Oct. 26, 5:30-8 p.m.

Looking at the Apple Podcasts top chart is like taking a glance at our national anxieties. On Monday of this week, the number one most popular podcast was "Cults." "Stay Tuned with Preet" with his premiere podcast "The Time President Trump Fired Me" is number 2. Among the Top 20 list are "The Fall Line," a true-crime serial about marginalized communities in Georgia, "The American War," "Pod Save America," and "Zealot." Which is ANOTHER podcast about cults.

I'm all about staying up-to-date on current events. My Twitter feed is full of outraged observations about the latest atrocity committed by our administration -- interspersed with tweets about fun outings, cocktails, and Project Runway.

But the times when I listen to podcasts -- on the road in traffic, at the gym first thing in the god-dang morning, making dinner at the end of a long-long day -- are not the ideal times for me to get fired up about our administration or terrified for the future of my two kids. So below are a list of my favorite podcasts that work as a distraction from the woes, generally thanks to great storytelling, fascinating topics, astonishing research and -- sometimes -- smooth-jazz, tickle-your-ear voices.

C'mon, get happy! Let these podcasts chase all your cares away.

We're Alive (audio drama)

What better to distract you from the actual end of the world than a podcast about the pretend end of the world? A search for entertaining, sweep-me-away audio (when times weren't quite so dank) is what led me to podcasts, and thank God I was searching when this audio drama about a zombie apocalypse was still top of the charts. "We're Alive," created by KC Wayland who recently produced "Bronzeville" with Laurence Fishburne, is a three-season, 48-chapter series that follows a band of survivors in LA after it's hit with zombies. Great writing, sound effects, and acting have you enmeshed in the story from go, and I became as tied to these characters as I am tied to my Games of Thrones loves. My loyalty was rewarded -- "We're Alive" has perhaps the best and most satisfying series finale of any story I've ever engaged in, regardless of the medium ("Dexter" and "True Blood" should have taken notes).

Stuff You Missed in History Class (history)

Two hosts, Tracy V. Wilson and Holly Frey, provide entertaining and insightful summations of lesser known historical events. I was drawn to "Missed in History" by their more gruesome history lessons -- they've done episodes on "Lizzie Borden and Her Axe," the "New England Vampire Panic," and "The Case of the Colorado Cannibal" -- but more valuable are their dives into historical events by or affecting women, people of color, or others who didn't write the history books. I learned more about "The Tulsa Race Riot" in their 36-minute episode than I ever did in my six years sitting in Tulsa classrooms.

How to Be Amazing with Michael Ian Black (interview)

I'm not a fan of "cult-of-personality" interview podcasts -- so often the interviewer just wants to talk to the interviewee about all the times they've worked together. So why do I listen to comedian and actor Michael Ian Black? He makes his interviewees cry. He has this habit of asking these really balls-to-the-walls questions that you assume the subject would never answer -- and yet he asks them in a way that is very caring. Caring in a kind of New York, in-your-face way. And then the subject answers and cries. I was shocked by what Project Runway's Tim Gunn shared with him. I wanted to sit at the feet of Barefoot Contessa Ina Garten and soak up her wisdom after her interview. And I'm pretty sure he made ultimate smart ass Megan Mullally cry, too.

The Adventure Zone (story telling)

I downloaded "The Adventure Zone," a podcast of three adult brothers playing Dungeons & Dragons with their dad, as a gift to my son who was stuck in the car with me as we drove to visit colleges. The decision nearly proved lethal. As we whipped along the always-packed and suicidal I-70, I was laughing so hard I couldn't see. I literally considered pulling onto the shoulder. The McElroy Brothers -- Justin, Travis and Griffin -- gained podcasting fame with the advice show "My Brother, My Brother and Me." "The Adventure Zone" was a whim while they were taking paternity leave. It proved to be a three-year-long love affair with fanciful story telling, dice throwing, and the unique comedy that can come about when four people love each other and can annoy the holy living crap out of each other. Just trust me. Check it out.

Criminal

I don't know how to categorize this show, which is the highest compliment I can pay it. Calling it "true crime" lumps it in with all the other whodunits, and "Criminal" is soooooo much more than a voyeuristic poke into a family or community's pain. "Criminal" is a subtle-and-curious look into the community of crime -- the people who record it (a courtroom sketch artist), the people who are victimized by it (like this daughter), and the people who sink into tar pits to try to uncover it. My favorite episode, a truly courageous episode by host and co-creator Phoebe Judge, is this one about people who research decomposition. By the way, Phoebe earns my vote for best female podcasting voice. It's like butter.

Social Media Marketing Podcast (biz)

This new communication beast we call social media changes daily. Hourly. With twice weekly podcasts, the "Social Media Marketing Podcast" helps me keep up. Host and founder Michael Stelzner interviews guests with his listeners in mind -- whenever guests dive down the rabbit hole of their specialty, he pulls them back and asks them to explain it for the rest of us. This podcast serves the place of a university course in social media marketing -- clients, you now know my trick. Please don't fire me.

In the Dark (true crime)

This expertly researched and reported podcast does what so many other true crime podcasts fail to do: provide a larger picture of what it all means. "In the Dark" looks at the disappearance of Jacob Wetterling, an 11-year Minnesota boy who disappeared in the midst of the stranger-danger frenzy of the '80s. But more than just poking at the crime, reporter Madeleine Baran puts together an alarming look at how little oversight there is over our nation's sheriff's departments and how little accountability they have. Jacob Wetterling's murderer came forward just one week before "In the Dark" began -- the true mystery was not how killer Danny Heinrich got away with it for so long, but how the Stearns County Sheriff's department did such a horrible job.

The Bright Sessions (audio drama)

"The Bright Sessions" has everything you could want out of an audio drama: adventure, romance, time travel, and telepathy. But creator Lauren Shippen has added a little something extra to this story line about a group of 20-somethings struggling to live with their special mental abilities, abilities that allow them to read minds or feel other's emotions or coerce people. There's a distinct "femaleness" to the whole presentation, which as an audio-drama lover accustomed to so many male-driven stories, I really appreciate. She nails the personal connections among all the characters.

Since I need A LOT of distraction these days, I'm always looking for new podcasts. What are your favorites podcasts? Please let me know in the comments below.

I'm a huge fan of wine tasting and the Virginia vineyard scene. What I am NOT such a huge fan of is the hour drive to get to most of our local vineyards (if you live inside the Beltway) and the hour drive home.

The newly opened District Winery makes a phenomenal tasting and dinner just a Lyft away.

D.C.'s first winery opened over Labor Day weekend at its beautiful Navy Yard location and you can bet I was one of the first through its doors. When we arrived on the Saturday before Labor Day, there was already an hour wait for tastings of its Brooklyn-made wines. Its incredible location in the heart of the Navy Yard made that effortless -- we strolled the boardwalk and then got a rosé cocktail at Whaley’s just across the plaza while we waited.

District Winery is the second winery opened by co-owners Brian Leventhal and John Stires, who opened the Brooklyn Winery in 2010 with head winemaker Conor McCormack. On the day we visited, Brian Leventhal was greeting guests, shaking hands, and sweeping up a dropped wineglass. When we stopped to compliment him on the awesomeness of the place, he invited us back to the winery, where Conor McCormack was punching down Pinot Noir. For now, D.C. guests will be enjoying the wines produced from California and Finger Lakes grapes in the Brooklyn winery. But soon, we'll be quaffing wine made right here in the District.

I'm helping. Punch down of Pinot Noir.

Tasting is a loud but low-pressure experience. The two-story glass walls -- offering views of the Anacostia, the boardwalk and the pretty plaza -- made it a little hard to hear our tasting room host talk about the wines. It fortunately did not affect the flavor. The wines, ranging from a Finger Lakes Reisling to a Sonoma Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, were delicious and effortlessly drinkable in a way you can’t always guarantee in some further-away Virginia wineries where sometimes the focus seems to be more on the tourism experience than the quality of the wines. The District Winery definitely led with quality first. Two particular favorites were the Suison Valley, CA Pinot Reserve and the Malbec, also from Suison Valley, CA . The skin-contact Chardonnay was also really unique, with a glowy, honey-orange color.

We returned two weeks later to try the restaurant, Ana at District Winery, and -- I'm not kidding -- when you eat there, you will think I buried the lead. Ana offers seasonal American fare that compliments the District Winery wines  -- and it's fricking delicious. We started with the Heirloom Tomatoes and the Crab Beignets, which actually complimented each other really well, and we fought over who got to wipe up the beignets' romesco sauce with the last bit of whatever. The tomatoes were served with a goat cheese spread between triangles of sourdough; they were like fancy grilled-cheese sandwiches. My husband got the buttery Amish Chicken -- he always hates it when I out him for ordering the chicken -- but I definitely won with the Pan Roasted Atlantic Cod. The skin-crisped fish was served in a bowl with an outstanding dashi at the bottom and two chanterelle ravioli. The filling of the ravioli was sweet and creamy and a perfect compliment for the salty broth and fish. I got obnoxious with my yummy sounds.

The glass windows don't seem to create the same noise issues in the dining room -- hubby and I had no problem hearing each other and we had a fabulous view of the lit-up South Capital Street bridge and the riverwalk along the Anacostia River. Pedestrians outside stopped to take in the painted portraits of American presidents lined up on the dining room wall -- painted by a Brooklyn Winery bartender, they literally supplied 30 minutes of conversation for us and also sparked chatter with the next table -- and its fun to look at the people passing by while they look at you while you look at them...

I forgot to mention -- when we entered the dining room that night, co-owner Brian Leventhal was also there, holding the door for us and shaking the hands of entering dinner guests. One thing I've always enjoyed about Virginia wine tasting is the welcoming atmosphere. District Winery is making sure you get that same experience in the bustle of D.C.

District Winery

Tasting Bar Hours: There is a substantial wait on the weekends. Come prepared to stroll...

• Mon to Thurs, 1pm - 9pm
• Fri to Sat, 12pm - 11pm
• Sun, 12pm - 9pm

Ana at District Winery:

• Mon to Thurs, 5pm - 10pm
• Fri to Sat, 5pm - 11pm
• Sun, 5pm - 9pm

Want to discover more fun to-dos in the Navy Yard? Check out my blog An Awesome Anacostia Riverwalk Walk.

My husband and I decided to play hooky last week and spent an afternoon and evening at the new MGM National Harbor. With so many high-end restaurants, craft cocktail bars, entertainment options, and a gorgeous Asian-inspired aesthetic, we could have been there longer, could have eeked out a few more hours enjoying a atmosphere that reminded us of our favorite casino resorts in Las Vegas.

While the mind and body were willing, the wallet was weak.

MGM National Harbor, with its silver tower glittering over the Potomac and viewable from Alexandria, is not a cheap place to spend the evening. But if you're looking for a bit of the service, sophistication, and unapologetic adult decadence that Vegas offers without the plane flight, MGM National Harbor is an worthy substitute.

High-end eats

The MGM National Harbor has called upon some of the D.C.-area's most-loved chefs to create high-end dining experiences that lure those -- like us -- who don't gamble. Fish by José Andrés and the Voltaggio Brothers Steak House are evening-only restaurants. Marcus, by Marcus Samuelsson, is an all-day restaurant that also provides the room service menu. 

During our dinner at the Steak House, we enjoyed some of the best and most personable wait staff we've had in the D.C. area. The Voltaggio brothers have designed the place with the homey feel of your mom's house -- if your mom was the coolest, most sophisticated hostess on the East Coast. There's a dining room and a family room and a bar in the study. You drink out of finely etched glass. There's an echo of Vegas in the design theatrics of the place, that surreal sense that you're not in "normal" adult land anymore, and it was a satisfying part of the evening. Do I really need to mention the steaks? Of course they were outstanding. And the rolls -- amazing.

My husband, wisely, steered us away from the expensive lunch I wanted and toward the food court, where we had some truly kickass Shake Shack burgers. But the National Market offers a lot more variety than your average food court. I could have also gone for the crab cakes, banh mis, chicken and doughnuts, or the ice cream. Oh wait. I did go for the ice cream.

Craft cocktail bars

Drinks are not free in the casino -- you will pay that lovely strolling cocktail waitress for what you order. And while the Old Fashioned I had at the casino bar was good, the Old Fashioned from The Lobby Bar was outstanding. 

There are many places to get a delicious cocktail at the MGM National Harbor -- in all the restaurants, at the Tap Sports Bars, in the upscale Felt and and Blossom cocktail lounges inside the casino -- but The Lobby Bar might be my new favorite bar in the D.C. area. I know, that's saying a lot about a hotel bar. But in the back, they've got barrels of your favorite liquor specifically barreled for their bar. They've got smooth sipping tequilas that only cost you an arm; that will cost you an additional leg anywhere else. They've got bartenders that flame up the orange peel before rimming the glass, making that Old Fashioned one of the best of the many I've tasted. And they've got bartenders who will be as sweet as pie or give you all of the sass that you sit at the bar to get.

I'm not kidding. Don't miss The Lobby Bar.

Entertainment

Did I mention that we don't gamble? We don't. Because we're bad at it. 

Unfortunately, we forgot that we don't gamble at the MGM National Harbor's casino, so we lost money. Fast. Quarter slot machines were the cheapest ones we could find -- yes, there were penny machines, but those machines required a minimum of 50-cent bets. The cheapest tables were $25 bets. Perhaps there are cheaper tables hiding in the casino's hinterlands, but we couldn't find them. 

I won $15. This is when I should have walked away.

If you go to MGM National Harbor to gamble, I hope you're better at it than we are.

The 3,000-seat theater will be probably be a better entertainment option for us the next time we visit. The day we were there, the resort was thronged with emo kids and their parents waiting for the Panic at the Disco show. Sting plays at the theater on Sunday, and Cher is currently in residence, playing several nights in March and then back again in September.

Did I mention that all of this is as a volunteer?

And I'm not the only crazy one. There are 30 of us in class, 30 of 100 people who applied to give away hours and hours of their time in the service of telling the story of businesswoman, heiress, philanthropist, and collector Marjorie Merriweather Post.

Why? Because Hillwood is fabulous. 

A dinner party at Hillwood began in the French Drawing Room, where you enjoyed a cocktail, strolled out to the gardens, and were invited by Marjorie Post to touch, sit in, and enjoy her 18th-century French furniture and art.

Post, who inherited the Postum Cereal Company and evolved it into General Foods, bought Hillwood in 1955 for the express purpose of sharing her astonishing collection of 18th-century French and imperial-era Russian furniture, porcelain, art, and glorious things that sparkle with the public. There, she entertained congressmen who dined on plates made for Catherine the Great, she invited high school students to relax into her 200-year-old French chairs, and she strolled with wounded veterans across her flower-bordered lawn, the Washington Monument easily in view.

Post fed her lucky guests off Russian imperial porcelain plates. The dining room is currently set with the porcelain service created to honor the coronation of Tsar Nicholas I in 1826. I learned that last week.

See? Fabulous. At Hillwood, Post enshrined a way of life -- and a generosity of spirit -- that is lost. Her life of decorum and rules -- she always supplied heel caps for the ladies square-dancing on her hardwood floors -- also included square-dancing. That same sense of fun and enjoying yourself is still an essential part of the Hillwood visit: guests can tour the house with a docent or on their own, kids can explore the vast and varied gardens and the pet cemetery, flower lovers can spend hours sniffing the 2,000 orchids in the greenhouse, and ladies who lunch can order a glass of wine at the cafe.

I imagine I'll be mentioning Hillwood a lot here on In Between in D.C.; I've already told everyone I know about the 60-piece jewelry exhibit, Spectacular Gems and Jewelry from the Merriweather Post Collection, that will be opening in June. It'll be opening right about the time that a class of 30 new docents will come on board. 

Come visit. Be kind (we'll be a little nervous). And be careful. Hillwood opens its doors to new docents every 3-5 years. You, too, could catch the devotion to fabulousness.

---|||---

exhibitons at the Hillwood Museum

Post and daughter, Nedenia. Nedenia will grow up to become actress Dina Merrill. The emerald brooch by Cartier will be part of the Spectacular exhibit.

• Four Seasons - The gargantuan Philip Haas sculptures interpreting Giuseppe Arcimboldo’s celebrated botanical paintings will be on view in the garden until March 31.
• Friends and Fashion - Using forty-five portraits from an album of an American diplomat in 1820s Russia, the exhibit explores the people, politics, fashion, and hairstyles of a glamorous St. Petersburg. Displayed in the Dacha, the exhibit will run through June 11.
• Spectacular Gems and Jewelry - Nearly 60 pieces of jewelry that belonged to Marjorie Merriweather Post, some given to and on loan from the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History, will be on display from June 10 to January 14, 2018.

Can you believe the winter we're having? Or aren't having? Last weekend, I dusted off my Evernote folder of outdoor to-dos in DC and decided to finally take this 2.9-mile walk along the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail and into Navy Yard that the Washingtonian suggested a couple of years ago.

It was awesome. Empty pathways, pretty boardwalks, naval ships, outdoor art, ice cream, fountains, ping pong, and at the end of our yellow brick road, a beer garden. All with a view of the Anacostia River.

We parked on the Anacostia side of the river, in a little National Park parking lot just to the east of the South Capital Street bridge. Parking was easy when we got there around 11 a.m.; by the time we left at 3 p.m., people were waiting for spaces.

It's an easy walk east to the 11th Street Bridge, which has a lovely pedestrian walkway and peninsulas for stopping and taking pictures. You'll cross over the river to the Navy Yard side. 

Walking west along the Navy Yard side, you'll find a million things to do. You can stroll along the boardwalk, visit the Naval Museum of the U.S. Navy, enjoy a wine tasting at District Winery (D.C.'s first winery), grab a snack at the fantastic Ice Cream Jubilee, get a meal at Bluejacket, TaKorean, or Osteria Morini (the garlic smell coming out of there was KILLER!!) or play some ping pong in front of National Park.

Or you can just hang. With lots of green spaces and outdoor tables surrounding interesting outdoor architecture, there's plenty of cool stuff to stare at.

After successfully dragging what could have been a 40-minute walk into three hours, we found a surprising jewel in the shadows of the Nationals Stadium and the South Capital Street bridge: an outdoor brewery. 

Bardo Beer

Through an open gate in a fence, down a mulch trail lined with logs, and over a varnished wooden slab with beer tanks behind it, we ordered two beers from the gang at Bardo Beer, a beer garden once on Bladensburg Road that has relocated to this jewel-in-the-rough spot. Taking advantage of the awesome weather, they had their soft opening the day before we arrived, on Feb. 18. Their grand opening won't be until the Nationals' first game -- but it looks like they're going to continue to be open. The dogs, riverside views, and awesome beer made it really difficult to continue our walk.

Bardo Beer is planning on adding a second bar and a dog park to the space.

But after one beer, we did continue, across the South Capital Street bridge on a mildly harrowing pedestrian walkway high above the lovely river.

- Thanks to The Washington for the article "Things to Do By the Anacostia Riverwalk" and inspiring this amazing day.

learn more about district winery, dc's first winery, Also located in Navy Yard with a beautiful view of the anacostia river

"Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change." - Ramsey Clark

Embrace change. Ride the wave. I'm clinging to these words right now because, honestly, if I don't ride the wave, it's going to drown me. At this particular life stage (calling all Gen-Xers!!) change feels more poignant and harder to bear -- our children are growing up, our parents are aging, our jobs feel more fragile and more necessary, our bones have begun strange creaking. Decisions have more weight, change feels more fraught. "Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity," said Ramsey Clark, former U.S. Attorney General. I'm trying to believe it and I'll chant "Let's love turbulence!!" like a cheerleader as I ride its ups and downs.

It's all right. The annual social media calendar we created in January can get a little dusty midway through the year. Today, we'll clean that calendar off and give it new life in your monthly social media calendar. A monthly social media calendar allows you to know what you're going to post EVERY DAY!! It helps you balance promotional posts with fun and personal ones, it insures you're talking about themes and topics important to you and your audience, and it focuses you so that your social media posts are moving you toward your goals.

And the time investment for this ease and focus? Only about two hours at the end of each month. Here's how to build your own monthly social media calendar:

Step 1: Write down your list of topics from your annual social media calendar.

If you created an annual social media calendar, then you already have a list of business goals, content topics, and personal events that you want to focus on in your blog writing, Facebook posts, Instagram photos, and other social media content this month. If you didn't create an annual social media calendar, then make a quick list now of those items.

Should writing this list give you ideas for specific posts, go ahead and write those down now, too. For example, I have "summer entertaining on deck" as one of my topics. I need new outdoor pillows, and I figured it would be a fun Facebook post to quiz my lifestyle-and-home-focused followers about what color scheme they prefer for the deck.

Step 2: List the dates of any business, personal, family, holiday, or fun events you having coming up.

Use these events to inspire posts. I have a professional organizing client whose college-age son came home for summer break. We used his homecoming to inspire a Facebook post about how to help your almost adult get and stay organized over the summer.

Step 3: Determine the topics and dates of your blog posts for the month.

Your blog post can be the foundation of a week's worth of social media posts. By creating posts that direct traffic to your blog, you are directing eyes to your website, which is property that YOU control. It's great to get Facebook and Twitter love, but traffic that stops there is ultimately benefitting Facebook and Twitter most.

Step 4: For each weekday, decide which social media channel you're going to post to and the overall theme of your social media posts.

I don't post to every social media channel every day, and I don't require it of my small business clients. Who has the time? Determine which social media channels you're going to post to on which days.

Also, you can insure your social media streams are both useful and entertaining by balancing your business-related and personal/fun posts. Choose now which days you will post "business" posts and which day you will post "entertaining" posts. You don't have rigidly hold to this, but it does help you to remember in case all of your posts are listing to one side.

Step 5: Now, begin to fill in your calendar.

Fill in your blogs first. As I mentioned, your blog posts can be the inspiration for many of your social media posts that week. The days before you publish your blog, you can build interest by posting a photo or tip as a "teaser." After the blog is published, you can continue promoting it by listing a new fact, thanking the sources mentioned in the blog, or giving a shout out to sites where readers can get more info.

Step 6: Fill in date-specific events.

Use those book signings, holidays, and special events in your life to create posts that give your audience greater insight into you or connect you with your audience on a larger scale. Post a picture of your Mom on Mother's Day, post a picture of a fan from a book signing, show off your spangly gala dress, and give a thank you to that organization that invited you to speak. Your followers love the peek into your life, and they also love it when you show appreciation!

Step 7: Fill in the rest of the calendar using unused ideas on your list.

Now that you have the "must-haves" filled in, you can use the rest of your calendar to discuss the "like-to-haves," the topics that are important to you and help define your message. Promoting my wonderful clients, providing tips on social media best practices, and highlighting fun things to do in the D.C.-area are all topics that are important to me and that I'll make sure to include now. Other go-tos to fill in your monthly social media calendar include:

• Ask people to follow you on other social media channel
• Promote other people or services in your community
• Share an article that might appeal to your fans
• Use an easy app like Recite.com to create and post a quote you enjoy
• Post a pic of your pet
• Re-share older blog posts from your website
• Ask your audience a question

Happy calendar building! And feel free to contact me if you need any help!

What's one topic or theme that you're interested in that could make your social media stream distinctive this month? How could you use that topic or theme creatively in a post?

This is what my goal planning calendar regularly looked like.

This is what my social media calendar looked like.

And then life kicked in.

In the six weeks between spring break and now, I traveled six times. That's six hotels. Four car trips. Two plane trips. I toured four separate college campuses. I ate so many burgers. I had A LOT of cocktails.

During that time, this is what my goal planning calendar looked like.

And this is what my social media calendar looked like.

So now it's the beginning of May and I've finally gotten to unpack my toiletries and do some laundry and wake up in my own bed on a Saturday. And I've looked down the pathway of May and realized that those goal posts and milestones I'd set up for myself earlier this year...they're gone. Obliterated by reality. Shadowed by the goals of March and April glaring back at me with disapproval and disappointment.

Sorry. I anthropomorphize.

When our goals have slipped away from us, it's easy to beat ourselves up. It's easy to pull up the anchor of goal planning -- of setting our sights on a more meaningful objective and working toward it -- and instead get carried away in the tide of the day to day. And it's exhausting to goal plan when you're just trying to play catch up.

Don't let the negative voice get in your head. Even if it's Beyonce's.

But I gotta believe that those larger goals -- for our careers, our families, our relationships, our personal health -- are worth putting down stakes for. I gotta believe that the hoped-for results are worth the planning.

So I'm doing a few things this month to get my goals back in place. First, and I think most importantly, instead of beating myself up for what I didn't accomplish, I'm acknowledging what I did. I helped my kid choose a college. I helped raise some money for my writing chapter. Seldom are we just sitting on the couch eating bonbons and lazily watching the opportunities to fulfill our goals pass us by.

Secondly, I'm letting go of what I couldn't accomplish. As my dear friend Paige Trevor said today, "the world doesn't stop spinning because a few things were shoved under the bed." I may not be using the quote in the best way (sorry, Paige!), but it is valuable for me to remember how few of the things that I get worked up about will make the world stop spinning if they don't happen. Like, none. 

Third, and this is the hardest part, I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and begin again. Re-starting -- making those lists, writing out those calendars, confronting the to-dos that I thought would be completed already -- always feels like the most daunting and frustrating task. But even daunted and frustrated, I can start. I can do. I can be powerful in my ability to overcome my own inertia. 

In my office. Ready to begin again.

What is a goal that you've let slide that you would like to begin again?

The art of miming a vocal performance has risen like a phoenix from the ashes of Milli Vanilli's lip-sync scandal to become a badge of honor for celebrities who win lip-sync competitions on Jimmy Fallon and Lip Sync Battle (and no, Channing Tatum is not going too far in this video).

You are invited to a winner-take-all lip sync battle party on Sat., Feb. 27. Doors open at 7. Performances start at 8.

So began the phenomenal invite from my husband that lured all of our friends to our house three weeks ago -- and saved me from having to write a blog intro.

There was a lot of work that went into making this party a success -- and every second was worth it! Here's a how-to list that I hope will make it a little easier for you to get your Milli Vanilli on. 

1. Get Inspired

Watch this:

2. Vet your friends

It's hard to "perform" in front of people. And I had no interest in throwing a party that none of our friends wanted to attend. So before we sent out the invites, we asked close friends if a lip sync party -- where every attendee had to perform -- was a party they were interested in. We were shocked that 95 percent of our friends said yes. 

3. Decide on "the rules"

The loosy-gooseyness of most parties doesn't work for a lip sync party. It's only fun if your guests are committed and engaged. So we made it mandatory that everyone:

• Perform
• Contribute $5 for a winner-take-all grand prize.
• Show up in time for the first performance. 

We were very demanding. People loved it. Click below to get a handy-dandy copy of the rest of my husband's rules.

4. Send your invite with lots of lead time

Make sure to give your friends lots of time to choose a song and practice their routines. And keep your invite list relatively small. With about 35 guests and only 14 performances, it still took us three hours to get through all of them. 

5. Start practicing your routine

Expectations of the host's performance will be high. Start practicing early. Here's a snippet of mine. The song is "Velcro" by Clairity. And I post this with a trembling finger and nervous sweat. Be kind:

Some tips to make your routine a success:

1. Know the words. People can tell when you don't.
2. Dress up. Whether it's a costume or just an out-of-the-ordinary look for you, wearing something different makes it easier to play your goofy role.
3. Bring a friend. It is MUCH easier to perform with a friend or friends acting as backup dancers, taking over some of the lyrics, or playing air guitar. My husband jumped on stage for the last chorus of my song and did my dance routine with me. I had so much respect for the people who went up there by themselves.
4. Use props. Our entire backroom was filled with tubs of stuff people had brought to make their performances shine.
5. Up the ante. Regardless whether you use costumes, props, or a surprise guest (Beyoncé!!), do something to up the ante as you perform the song. 

6. Decide on a stage. 

We rented a 8-by-12 foot stage from a local party store, who dropped off the stage the day of the party and picked it up on Monday. Those eights inches off the floor did make a difference -- it felt like a true performance. But there's no need to go quite so big. Just make sure to delineate a space large enough for groups to perform and performers to dance.

7. Figure out the sound system.

It's ideal if people can send you their song ahead of time so you can just cue it up in Apple Music, Spotify, or a similar subscription music service. But some people will want to keep their songs close to the vest, so make sure to have a jack where people can plug in their phone or computer. Also make sure your speaker system is loud enough to be heard over the hooting, hollering, and the fact that some people confuse it with karaoke.

8. Buy the booze, beer, and food. Buy tequila.

Liquid courage is the name of the game, so buy alcohols -- like tequila -- that people can get down quickly. We bought six large bottles of wine, four red and two white, and no one touched them. Beer and booze. Food. Tequila. Don't forget the limes.

9. Gather money and performance times.

As guests arrive, gather their $5, ask when they'd like to perform and, if you don't already know, get their song. Some want to go first. Some want to close out the night. First come, first served in this scenario. Create a list of everyone's name and song, which will become the emcees cheat sheet for calling performers to the stage and the ballot at the end of the night. 

And then invite everyone to grab a drink, grab their courage, and get ready for some magic.

Like this: 

Shakira "Hips Don't Lie"

Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" as Bernie Sanders

And this:

My favorite part of the night was when guests thanked me and my husband by sitting us in front of the stage and performing "We Are The World" to us.

What song are you going to lip sync at your next lip sync party? 

What makes YOU special? This is the most important thing to know when communicating to attract customers because YOUR STORY is what distinguishes your business from others. Knowing your story will allow you to authentically communicate with your clients. How? When you know and embrace your story, you speak the truth in everything you say. 

Don’t believe me? Try this out:

A. I’m a professional organizer

B. I’m a professional organizer who loves to cook and has tons of gadgets and has spent years coming up with ways to wrangle my gadgets so I specialize in organizing kitchens and I’m REALLY good at getting your kitchen organized and anyone who doesn’t have their kitchen organized by me is really missing out. 

See?

Clarifying your story allows you to understand and embrace:

1. the value of what you have to offer
2. the fact that no one else can offer it (because no one else is YOU)
3. that customers need what you’re providing

Finding their story is the first step I take when small business owners want my help with social media and marketing. When I was a newspaper reporter, I had to practice the skills of uncovering someone’s story quickly and then re-telling that story in a compact, compelling way. How do I discover their story? I ask questions.

My Social Media Plan Questionnaire breaks down the difficult “What is your story?” question into four manageable pieces that explore the business owner, her business, her customers and her goals. Instead of asking for a person’s autobiography, I ask a person — metaphorically — where he grew up and who he played with. In this way, we uncover the good stuff that makes a business interesting and indispensable.

First in my Social Media Plan Questionnaire, we explore a person’s business, the reason they’ve called me in the first place. They need to market their business. I ask a lot of questions but listed below are the most powerful in each category. 

Next, I ask about a business' customers. We have our own goals and dreams, but we don't build our business in a vacuum. The need we fulfill for someone else is a HUGE part of our story. Who are the people you’re selling to? They define your story as much as your parents and siblings define your autobiography.

Then we investigate you. You're the person who woke up one morning and decided it would be a great idea to open a store or start a solopreneur business or write a book (if you'd only decided to sleep in that morning, amiright?). Why? Explore what dreams, gifts and problem-solving efforts you bring to your enterprise, and you'll be one step closer to finding your story.

Finally, we look at your goals. Our goals tell our stories like nothing else. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was one of the first questions we were asked as kids. What do you want your business to be when it grows up?

Now take a step back and look at your answers. In repeated themes, in items you got excited about as you answered a question, and in realizations you only had in the process of the exercise, is your story. Embrace your story, include it in your messaging, and your customers-turned-fans will come flocking.

Want to find your story? Discover it on your own -- or contact me for more help -- by filling out this social media plan questionnaire.

From the Renwick Gallery website

Renwick Gallery -- a newly renovated Smithsonian art gallery across the street from the White House -- has opened its beautifully restored rooms to a WONDER of an exhibit.

WONDER honors this historic building, the first in the country to be built exclusively as an art museum, with room-filling pieces created specifically for the Renwick by nine contemporary artists.

The gigantic art -- a rainbow made of thread, a pieced-together cast of a 150-year-old tree, a gorgeous wallpaper made of bugs and Bryce Canyon-like hoodoos made of paper, tape and toothpicks -- invite the viewer to peer closer, to see the tiny bits and figure out how it works. Some of the work asks you to interact with it; others -- like the rainbow and the bug wallpaper -- require the poor security guards to work overtime to keep the crowds back from it. It's a wonderful exhibit for children and my husband -- you know, the people who aren't huge fans of art museums. And, because we're spoiled rotten here in D.C., it's also free!

I could keep typing, but why. Click on the pictures to take your own virtual tour of the Renwick Gallery, then come soon to see the real thing. The second floor, with its amazing bug wallpaper and deconstructed tree, will close May 8. The first floor closes July 10.

Renwick Gallery

Pennsylvania Avenue at 17th Street NW

Washington, DC 20006

Open Daily, 10 a.m.–5:30 p.m., free admission

Explore other amazing D.C. art museums:

• A Stroll Through the Hirshhorn
• A Date With a Glamorous Woman at the Hillwood Museum
• Immersive Experience aof the American Indian Museum

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This weekend I’m going to a wedding.

My phenomenal cousin Casey is marrying the woman of any man’s dreams, Abby. He’s a brilliant, funny, artistic, smartass of a guy who’s chosen to remain in his small hometown and teach art to elementary school children. Abby is a kind, patient, peace-filled nurse who loves Casey just the way he is, smartassness and all.

Abby and Casey

These are the kind of people that give you hope in the future of mankind when they come together; the kind of couple that should be required to bring children into the world for the betterment of all humanity.

Yeah, I like this couple. Of course, I want them to stay together forever, but more than that, I want them to have fun together forever.

My blog is about finding fun for GenXers in the DMV, but it’s also about having fun as a partner to someone, when you no longer have the drama and exhilaration that comes with dating. Let’s be honest, it’s not effortless to have a ball with someone you see every night at dinner. It’s much easier to take them for granted.

But what I’ve learned over 16 years of really enjoying the company of the guy I sit across from at dinner – what I hope to give Casey and Abby as they start on this grand adventure together – are a few tricks to maintain the fun with the person you need be having the most fun with. To love, honor and make him obey are indeed important (snicker), but to promise to enjoy each other, to laugh and to explore, those are the things that make marriages the happily-ever-after tales we dream of.

Casey and Abby, I hope for happily ever after for you.

7 TIPS FOR KEEPING THE FUN IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1. Pick a regularly scheduled “date time,” and maintain it on your calendars

You can choose to go out every other Saturday night or enjoy a coffee together every Tuesday morning if that’s all your busy schedules allow. It doesn’t matter when you do it, as long as you prioritize time in your schedule for you to be together as a couple, enjoying each other’s company.

2. Talk about stupid stuff

Every now and then at the dinner table, during a car ride and definitely during your dates, place a moratorium on discussing the mortgage, the dog and who’s driving to soccer practice on Wednesday. Sharing duties on the home front make for great marriages, but sometimes you need to look at your spouse not as your co-chair but as the hot guy or girl you’re lucky to be with. Talk about your excitement for the Star Wars release, reminisce about that one trip you took to Quebec or try to figure out why that apple after your first kiss was the best apple ever created.

3. Embrace what the other person is into

Photo credit: CarbonNYC [in SF!] via Visualhunt / CC BY

You don’t have to LOVE your partner’s interests and you don’t have to adopt them as your own. But you have to give them a try, you have to be supportive of the fact that your partner is into them, and under no circumstances whatsoever can you malign them. Occasionally, people who find football boring should go to the sports bar with their spouse and watch the Sunday game. Every now and then, the person with two left feet should agree to take a salsa lesson with their partner. We think we know ourselves, but one of the advantages of getting married is the chance to see the world through another’s eyes.

4. Take down time

One thing I feel is lost in our competitive, self-guilt-inflicted, go-go-go culture is the benefits of relaxing. It’s hard to have fun and appreciate your partner when you’re totally wiped out. Take time to do nothing; allow your spouse the same.

5. Ask about their day

This sounds so simplistic, but I believe what we want most as humans is to be seen and acknowledged. It’s very easy to take the person you go to bed with every night for granted; it’s also relatively easy to make them know you care. Ask about their day – regardless of whether it’s date night or not – and sincerely listen to their response.

6. Balance the amount of date time spent with friends

Inviting friends along on your date night is highly entertaining and adds the spark of new conversations and insights. However, balance how often your precious couple time is spent in a group. Friends sometimes can be the unknowing bandaid over issues that need to be dealt with in your marriage.

7. Deal with the non-fun stuff

One of the best ways to insure fun in your marriage is to deal with the hard stuff as it comes along. It’s impossible to have fun with someone you resent, and resentfulness – or disdain – only builds when issues are allowed to fester. Deal with the hard stuff as soon as you can; be brave enough to have those hard conversations. This person chose to build a life with you; trust that they accept you – warts and all – and that they want to deal with the hard stuff so that only good intentions, hopeful hearts and fun times remain.

Happy Valentine's Day from me and my muse! -- Angelina