Ani thing and Everything

Ramdev baba's Dengue cure

2015-09-17T10:30:00.002-07:00

What did everyone wanted him to say? That..No ! I cant cure dengue. Yoga is useless. I am a fraud. That would have made everyone happy. Come to think of it, there is nothing in the whole world which can make everyone happy. Except anti depressants. But even if he is wrong who is to lose? Cynics are getting a good laugh. And laughter is the best medicine. Believers have now a ray of hope. And the dengue patients ... who cares about them?? Certainly not the government.

Meat Ban : Why I had to write about it ???

2015-09-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

As billions of living beings following this blog know, I write very irregularly. And in one of the rare moments when I hit blogger's wall and had nothing more to write, I chosed the age old wisdom. Destroy if you cant create. I deleted almost all the posts. Somehow about a dozen posts survived. Like cockroaches. You cant just kill them. As i searching for a topic, it hit me. A cockroach. Trying to fly. The bloody bastard collided with me as me and my laptop were peacefully lying on the floor. The cockroach hit me. And I didnt even knew that cockroach can fly. How dare it disturbed me when I was lying peacefully in my natural habitat? Dont I deserve peace? And then I thought of meat ban. I cant even decide what to eat. To impose this cruelty on me when I am resting on the floor minding my own business. To deprive me of all the protein I need. If only I was born in China and I could eat this cockroach. That will show the meat ban.

Banning meat is the most inhumane thing to do. It is against Darwins theory of evolution. Animals who are weaker must give way for the better species. The tastier animals should be at the bottom of the food chain. As my friend used to say : "If God didnt want us to eat meat, he wouldnt have made the animals so tasty." And Newton's law proves that meat should never be banned. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we wont eat animals, the animals would eat us.

And why arent the animal protesting? If they didnt wanted to be eaten, they should sit on a dharna...a hunger strike. No one wants to eat a starved goat. The animals should call a bandh..a hartal. But they are not doing this. Or may be they are protesting but the media is now showing us the true story. Or may be ...just may be... the animals are trying to use the tool thats works best in India: "Divide and rule".If they divide the meat eaters and the non meat eaters, they could rule the world.

Fantastic four and HIMYM crossover fanfiction. Chapter 1{Revised}

2012-03-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

It’s the year 2015. No. The kids haven’t yet found that who their mother is. And another big ‘No’. The world hasn’t ended yet. Marshall, Lily, Barney and Ted went on a picnic at moon. Robin couldn’t go at the last moment. Their aircraft crashed as a result of cosmic explosion. The exposure to cosmic rays gave them superpowers. The gang has just found out that they have got superpowers now. Robin is coming to see them in hospital.

{In Hospital}

Barney: “Why can’t I get a mirror here?”

Ted and Marshall’s eye meet. They couldn’t tell it to Barney. Could they?

Marshall:{excitedly} “We are the new fantastic four now. I am Mr Fantastic. Lily is the invisible woman.”

Robin: “And Ted is the Thing.” His laugh dies out as he looks at his hands.

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”

Ted: “Come on Barney. You are the strongest of us.”

Barney: “And when do I get to meet She-hulk? High Five Ted. Wait let me count. I am not sure if I have five fingers anymore. Why God Why? ”

{Enters Robin}

Ted: “What happened to your eyes?”

Robin: “Remember the accident? I couldn’t go to the moon because of that. And who the hell is he?”

Barney: “Hi.”

Marshall{Trying to cheer Barney up}: “Robin is Thing’s blind girlfriend Alicia.”

Robin: “I am not blind.”

Lily: “How many fingers am I holding?”

Robin: “Where the hell are you? I can’t see you?”

Marshall: “Told you. You are going blind.” The gang laughs a scary laugh.

Lily: “She is your blind girlfriend Barney.”

Ted: “But she will marry the Human torch in the end.”

Robin: “What are you talking about?”

Ted: “Our spaceship met an accident. Now we have got superpowers. Like Fantastic Four.”

Robin: “Who the hell is fantastic four?”

Ted: “They are superheroes. Don’t you have comics in Canada?”

Robin: “Of course we have comics in Canada. Nelvana is the first Candian female Super hero. And the greatest of the superheroes is Captain Canada.”

The gang suppresses laughter. Robin notices that and starts speaking again nervously.

Robin: “And for your information, Wolverine is Canadian.”

Barney: “And where is Lily. I haven’t seen her for a while.”

Lily: “I am the invisible woman. Remember.” Lily makes herself visible as if she was waiting for someone to ask.

Robin: “I knew it. I am not blind.”

Marshall extends his hands and covers the naked body of Lily.

Marshall: “Put on some cloth darling.”

Lily: “Why can’t these clothes disappear and reappear with me?”

Barney: “Aww. You still have a great figure Lily. If I wasn’t the Thing, I would have massive erection by now.”

Lily{blushing} : “Thank you.”

Robin: “You mean to say that everyone except me has superpowers now.”

Ted: “Yeah. And I am the human torch. Flame on.”

Robin: “I should have been in that cosmic explosion. I am the toughest of you all.”

Ted: “But you couldn’t be a superhero. You are Canadian. Remember?”

Marshall: “OMG. The sky is getting dark. Galactus is attacking.”

Everyone tries to peek out of the window.

Robin: “ Thats not Galactus. These are clouds. Its going to rain soon.”

Ted{excitedly}: “There he is. Silver Surfer.”

Robin: “He is not Silver Surfer. He is just a boy on skate board. What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

Ted acts disappointed when he finds that it was really a boy on skateboard.

Ted: “I really want some action. It is so cool man. Marshall, You are Mr Fantastic. Why don’t you build a space ship for us.”

Marshall laughs nervously as Lily becomes invisible and kisses him.

{Enters a panicked nurse}

Nurse: “There is a lady down the street. She is crushing everything with her big boobs.”

Barney: “Its clobbering time.”

{Five minutes later}

Big breasted lady has destroyed the roads. The gang has reached on scene.

Barney: “ Are those real?”

Big Breasted lady: “Die.”

One of the breasts shoots milk in Barney’s eye. He becomes blind for a second. The second breast strikes him with full force and he collapses.

The big breasted lady {BBL} throws a tissue at Marshall.

BBL: “Its breast cancer. It will grow at alarming rate and soon cover you. You will suffocate to death.”

Marshall begans stretching with the breast cancer. Ted throws fire at the breast cancer but Marshall starts burning.

HOW WILL BBL BE DEFEATED?

WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

What do all female Super heroes have in common?

2012-01-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

What do all female Super heroes have in common?

They all have big breasts.

some fun things to do when zombies try to eat you

2011-10-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

1: vomit on yourself. they will be disgusted and leave you.

2: post on facebook.

3: mimic the zombies.

4: bite them in the neck to see if they turn back into human.

5: kiss a female zombie.

6: lie still and pretend that you are a statue.

7: distract the zombies by showing them a funny youtube video

Disvantages of an open mind

2011-06-28T10:10:00.001-07:00

The problem with an open mind is that anything can fall in it.

Indian English fiction and IIT

2011-06-16T07:07:00.001-07:00

I am thinking of writing a novel. Guess I should take admission in IIT.

9 extremely funny things to do in a chatroom

2008-04-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

1:send friends request to everyone in the chatroom.after they accept it...delete them.

2:when someone tells something funny.....dont stop laughing.
lol....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
and then say:'ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.....someone please call a doctor....i am having a heart attack'

3:say:"hands up everyone...i am going to hijack this room"

4:chose a random girl and ask:'do u remember me?in last birth we were husband and wife"
try to convince her.

5:say:"omj....i didnt knew chatroom is available in hell too"
then add:"how is everything on earth?"

6:write:"the one who writes right next to me is a fool"
then treat him as one.

7:sit in the room with any book related to world war 2.write a whole chapter in chatroom........one sentence at a time.give special emphasis on words like 'nazi' hitler'

8:have your profile photo of a celebrity.say george clooney.try to convince people that you are him.offer free autographs.

9:discuss a bank robbery in detail.
if you have guts ..rob that bank next day.