I rather be a cocaine junkie than doing this

Now that he is mainstream, he doesn’t even care about it anymore

The worst part is that this was an add for an AA association

It’s nice, but it doesn’t protect him from rain

I hope it is not in the mood for dessert

A dog doesn’t care if you’re homeless or not; as long as you make a comfy bed

Just in time to miss all of today’s classes

Stop in the name of flower power

If you mess this up again, I will put the iron on you!

Few signs have personality these days

That explains why all public bathrooms are messy

If someone breaks in at night, they will already be armed

With companies like this, I can’t wait till my car brakes down

If this is how they reproduce, no wonder some of them are an endangered species

I’m basing my life on this theory

Still makes more sense than chemistry

You’re just jealous because you didn’t come up with it first

Thank God he’s not an airplane pilot

The hardest part is wiping the puke every time he gets sick

I am starting to think that I will never find a job in the porn industry

Even Wolfram Alpha is afraid of Samuel L. Jackson

Humor 101

They don’t understand how motorcycles work yet

It isn’t blasting music, it is blasting the first season of Mr. Ed

Superman is better than Batman anyway

She can sense that fish used to live there

I guess it doesn’t run in the family

See you at the finals!

He ran out of nothingness

It’s a nice quote, but I’m having trouble believing it

He missed the deadline anyway because he fell asleep

Eat it, you must

Dozens of them are probably under my furniture

Because leaving it on your desk is too mainstream

If you have to undress before you eat cake, you might be a baby

When newspapers will be gone, you will have to do this with iPads and it will be much more expensive

John Snow called, he wants his wolf back

Can’t tell if photoshoped, or just a weird photobomb

If you skip enough classes, you might become a weatherman

Not all cars have assisted steering

He is trying to prove that he’s the Alpha male or the dinner

And this time, the plastic fork didn’t even break in half

I think I drank too much

Anything for bacon

I didn’t want to go there and risk having the professor not show up

Maybe he is going to Vagina, Arkansas

I knew I can make it

Let’s see how deep the rabbit hole goes and how fat you can get

I have to skip class for this special occasion

He would have had better luck as a kamikaze pilot