Anktangle

Mom, I am.

2012-05-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children. This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote and peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!

In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied and every one is worth a read.

Parenting beliefs are like religion: lots of people have them, it's easy to get in an argument about them, and no two people are wrong.

Yep, you read that right: regardless of what (spiritual or parenting) path you're on, I don't believe you're doing it wrong.

Life (to me) just isn't that black and white.

No one person has the right answer, the magic solution, the perfect approach to life for all other people on this Earth. There is just far too much diversity (thank goodness!) for that to ever ring true to me. Each unique person has the power to explore and discover for herself what works best for her and their family, what resonates with her, and what feels most authentic to her as a parent, an individual, and a human being.

A few years ago, at the recommendation of our counselor, Jaymz and I read a book together about Attachment Theory (called The Attachment Connection) which resonated with both of us and helped to inform our understanding about the effects on children of secure versus insecure attachment. After reading that book, we were further motivated to foster secure attachment in our future child through our parenting practices.

In imagining our future life with our new child, I found that I didn't want to clog up our home with a bunch of baby "gear," so I thought about what we would really need to prepare for our child's arrival:

I wanted to wear our baby close in a sling most of the time, so we wouldn't need a stroller right away (though we were gifted one later on...to help us all cope through the worst of the crying times from Daniel's SPD).
I knew I wanted to sleep with our baby close to me to facilitate breastfeeding and to make nighttime parenting easier, so we didn't buy a crib. I researched safe bed sharing practices, and Jaymz and I set up our bed accordingly, so we could co-sleep with less worry. We slept together in the same bed for a while, and then when that wasn't working for all of us anymore, we explored other options: a cradle by our bed, then a floor bed nest to our bigger bed, with various combinations of us in different rooms for parts of the night. A few months after Daniel night weaned, we transitioned him to a floor bed in his own room, which is where he continues to sleep today. The bed is big enough that one or both of us can comfort him back to sleep there after a night waking.
I knew I wanted to breastfeed because of the health benefits. Besides, that, breastfeeding is the cultural norm in my family system: my mom had breastfed me and my siblings and she still speaks of it fondly; Jaymz's mom breastfed him and his brother. I knew that Worldwide and among other mammals in nature, the natural age of weaning is much older than you might expect, given the breastfeeding rates here in the US. I ended up really enjoying breastfeeding Daniel, and I decided I wanted to continue as long as we both wanted to.
I knew I wanted to cloth diaper because of the benefits to the environment as well as the cost savings to us. After explaining the cost analysis to Jaymz, he was even more sold on the idea.

Besides the simplicity and relative cheapness of these parenting practices, there were other things we decided to do which aligned with our aim to be connected and intentional about the way our family works:

While I was researching various cloth diapering options, I learned about Elimination Communication and I thought, "Why not give it a try?"I believe that practicing EC with Daniel has allowed us all to be more in tune with his elimination patterns, which in turn, has helped him to use the potty sooner and more consistently.
Gentle discipline feels like an extension of my protective instincts: I don't want to cause my child pain and I want him to trust me. I also want to use discipline that is both effective and respectful. Having grown up in homes that used punitive discipline methods makes gentle discipline more challenging for Jaymz and me. We have to be intentional and mindful about it, checking in with ourselves in the moment to avoid reacting without thinking first.
We decided to keep Daniel intact for many reasons. Most of all, circumcision just didn't seem necessary. It turned out to be very much a non-decision for us: no fuss, no blood, no out-of-pocket expenses.
I strive for balance in life. I'm definitely not perfect at it, but for me it's a process, a series of decisions and prioritization; it's not a destination.

Attachment Parenting found me. I didn't go out seeking a guru in Dr. Sears to tell me how to best parent my child, and I have to be honest: I haven't read many parenting books from cover to cover. I only discovered that this parenting style had a name when I was preparing for Daniel's birth. I was just following my instincts—trusting myself—and I stumbled upon a whole supportive community of people (in the Attachment Parenting and natural parenting crowds) who had similar values and priorities that I have as a parent.

The principles of Attachment Parenting resonate with me as ways I want to live my life, not just ways I parent. A few of the beliefs widely accepted by the AP/NP community can be seen as health and safety issues (which may be why our voices come out stronger when advocating for these things): breastfeeding, gentle discipline, (anti-)circumcision.

My passionate expression of my own beliefs and the fulfillment I get from the way I choose to parent doesn't mean I think anyone else is wrong for choosing differently than I did. I know we're all doing our best as parents. That alone is enough. I don't see this parenting gig as a competition; we're all on this journey together, traveling side by side.

My existence as a human being makes me enough.
You are enough, too.

I am more than content to coexist peacefully with you regardless of your parenting style.

I am Mom! Mom, I am.

Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy: (This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)

Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it's like to NOT feel 'mom enough' and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
I am an AP mom, regardless... — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why 'extended' breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.

Sunday Surf: Contentment and Mothering

2012-05-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

I'm catching up on Sunday Surfing today (translation: this is a long one—hope you're ready to do some reading!), as I've been not feeling as inclined to write the past few weeks. Things have been busy and kind of complicated lately...which is a post for another day. I will say that we're all enjoying this long weekend together, taking it easy while also taking small steps to continue to get more settled into our new house.

The past two evenings have been punctuated by quick after-dinner thunderstorms, a rare occurrence in Portland (aside from the past two nights, I only recall one other thunderstorm since we moved here five years ago). I've really enjoyed getting to be a spectator to the energy in that kind of storm, observing and drawing on it, feeling the vibration of the thunder move through my body. Nature really is awesome.

I recently participated in the Carnival of Weaning, reflecting on my experiences with Daniel's weaning just a few months ago. I wrote up a quick tutorial for how to make a photo book like the one I made for us to commemorate the occasion. Daniel loves this book. He asks me to read it to him at least once per day, and he enjoys talking about what we're doing in every photograph, pointing out our hands and eyes and discussing drinking mama's milk. I'm really glad I took the time to make this opportunity for us to share this story together!

There are so many thoughtful and informative posts to read from this carnival—I encourage you to browse through the list at the bottom of my post and learn more about others' personal experiences with weaning.

A big Thank you! to Rebekah and Chris of Liberated Family for their recent guest post on how our families can work toward reducing household waste. I'm very impressed that this family of four manages to only produce half a paper grocery bag of garbage per week! I I think my family does fairly well in our continual efforts to reduce our carbon footprint, but Rebekah and Chris inspire me to try even harder to lessen our impact on the environment. I hope you'll check out their post for some helpful tips, then head over to Liberated Family and poke around—they've got many excellent green living resources which I know you'll find helpful! (If you feel so inclined, you could also check out their Etsy shop, Born at Home Toys, where they feature gorgeous handmade wooden toys. Daniel loves his cherry hatchback!)

Have you entered to win my latest giveaway yet? Patricia Sereno is offering Anktangle readers a chance to win one of ten Moonrise Lullaby Celtic harp CDs, a collection perfectly suited to soothe a fussy baby into a restful sleep. I truly love this music, and I know you and the little one(s) in your life will too! I hope you'll check out the giveaway to learn more about the artist and her mission, and then use the easy Rafflecopter system to enter to win. (Open Worldwide; ends June 9th at 11:59PM Eastern.)

Here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

The Sexuality of Breasts: Keeping Women in Their Place – living peacefully with children

Love this one from Mandy about a conversation she had with her son about the over-sexualization of breasts. Great read!

Fatsronauts 101 – Shakesville

This piece is part of an interesting series which aims to debunk myths about fatness in an effort to reduce fat shame. This is so very necessary these days, and I am thankful for this author's efforts to further the cause.

My son pushed your child today: from one mother to another – The home of Lisa Hassan Scott

I really REALLY appreciate this candid, heartfelt letter from one mom to another: asking for compassion, understanding, and mutual understanding.

Your Baby Isn't Trying to Annoy You; She's Crying to Communicate – BlogHer

From the moment a child enters the world, they are trying to communicate. Crying, grunting, making eye contact, mirroring expressions: all of these things are the instinctive tools built into infants to reach out into a brand new world and make contact. They can do no more. It is entirely up to the parent to make the connection, to respond, to build those all-important "lines of communication" that will be so vitally important to parents in later childhood.

Are you Damaging Your Child by Demanding Obedience? – Authentic Parenting

A very interesting read from Authentic Parenting on the potential consequences of obedience. What do you think about the ideas presented in this article?

An open letter to Jamie Grumet and ALL the other mums who have spoken publicly about sustained breastfeeding Dispelling – Breastfeeding Myths

This is just lovely. ♥

The Liberation of Mothering Instinctively – the Little Leaf

I could really relate to Kim's thoughts in this article about Attachment Parenting. I agree completely that it is women and motherhood that is being devalued in many of our current societies, and that our babies shouldn't have to bear the brunt of that.

Rebirth: What We Don’t Say – The Sage Mama

This is such a beautiful piece from The Sage Mama about the transition of becoming a mother...and then getting to know herself again.

Triandem Nursing: Three is a Happy Crowd – The Guggie Daily

I'm happy that more people seem to be writing about breastfeeding lately in an effort to help normalize it, including breastfeeding older nurslings, tandem nursing, and nursing through pregnancies. I enjoyed reading and learning through this article from The Guggie Daily, in which the author discusses her experiences with triandem nursing—breastfeeding three!

The Little Guide to Contentedness – zenhabits

There has been little in my life that has made as much an impact as learning to be content — with my life, where I am, what I’m doing, what I have, who I’m with, who I am. This little trick changes everything.

Recently at Natural Parents Network:

What have you read lately that I shouldn't miss? Let me know in the comments!

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

Happy Birthday, Jaymz!

2012-05-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Thought you might like to hear this sweet and simple message from Daniel.

Love,
Us

Week 21: Miscellaneous

2012-05-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Days 137-143:

Morning reflection

Jaymz's pupil is always a little too dilated.
(I know you wanted to know this about him.)
[Happy birthday, Love. =]

Happy Mother's Day bouquet.
Love, Daniel

This game kept Daniel occupied for a good 10(!) minutes:
He ran around the house rubbing his hands on things, saying,
"Wiping ____!" In this case, "Wiping door!"
Yay, vocabulary!

Woke up to a batch of delicious no-bake cookies from Jaymz.

Climb into the light

First rose of the year. ♥

My current giveaway:

Moonrise Lullaby Celtic Harp CD: Ten winners for will receive a copy of this beautiful, peaceful collection from Patricia Sereno. Enter today! (Ends 6/9; Open Worldwide)

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama, Natural Parents Network, I Thought I Knew Mama, and Farmer's Daughter, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Celebrating Weaning

2012-05-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my mothering until (relatively) recently. For the most part, I really enjoyed nursing Daniel and I also found writing about our journey to be very valuable. When Daniel was ten weeks old, I was inspired to reflect on my intention to practice child-led weaning by seeing a three-year-old nurse at the Big Latch On. After Daniel turned one, I thought a lot about our breastfeeding relationship and I made a point to check in with both of us to make sure we still wanted to continue (and we did). A month or so later, Daniel's nursing habits changed suddenly, and I feared he was weaning. I wrote a piece for Dionna's Joys of Nursing Past Infancy series about the ways our nursing relationship had changed over time—and also the ways it had stayed the same. Turns out, Daniel nursed for nearly six more months, deciding to wean around twenty months old.

Daniel's weaning was a difficult transition for me, perhaps mainly because I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know that I would experience such a dramatic hormonal shift in the days and weeks after his last nursing session. I didn't know that I would feel uncomfortably full of milk to the point of leaking, similar to the early days of engorgement. (Daniel was only nursing once a day at the end, sometimes for only a minute or two, so I assumed that this transition was gradual enough for my breasts to get the hint!) I didn't know I would feel so out of place in my body, having grown and fed another human being with it for close to three years.

More than anything, I struggled with how to express what I was going through to those who care about me, and I wondered how to mark the occasion in a way that would feel most meaningful to me.

I turned to some of my friends, the lovely volunteers at Natural Parents Network for thoughts on how to celebrate weaning, and I got some really great ideas! I went out and bought myself a few not-so-nursing-friendly shirts, and I've also been out shopping a couple of times for a new (standard, clip-free) bra. Trouble is, I have to go to special shops to get my size and I'm not ready to commit to the price tag that comes with that right now.

We thought about having a weaning party for Daniel, but that didn't feel quite right. Then I read this post from Alicia of Lactation Narration and I knew I had the right idea: I would make a book for Daniel telling the story our breastfeeding relationship.

I enjoyed making this book so much! It was also really therapeutic for me to spend time going through our old photographs and carefully writing out our story in kid-friendly language. I wrote it kind of like a social story (as best I could) because Daniel responds so well to them and they seem to be helpful, particularly with easing transitions.

Daniel loves to look at photographs of himself (don't all kids?), so this book is a real hit with him! My favorite part about it is having the opportunity to tell him our breastfeeding story in my own words while experiencing his reactions to these special photos of us together.

Here's what you need to make your own celebrating weaning (or any other life event) photo book:

A simple 4x6" photo album. The one I got had a 36 photo capacity and it cost $1.99 at a craft store.
Prints of your favorite photographs. I had about two dozen photos printed and it cost me a little over $4. (If you don't want to have to turn the book around while you're reading it, take care to select photographs that all have the same orientation, be it landscape or portrait.)
Markers. I know you already have some markers lying around the house that you can use for this. If you're feeling really fancy, you can use your printer to make the text look more professional. I was going for the "made for you by Mom" look, so I wrote my story out by hand.
Scissors.
(Optional) Matting paper in fun colors and textures. I got a book of 87 pre-cut sheets of matting paper for about $5, and I used only 16 of the sheets for this project. (You could just as easily use construction paper, card stock, or plain white paper with great results.)
(Optional) Additional decorative items: Stickers, stamps, pinking shears for jazzing up your photos—you can get as elaborate (or stay as simple) as you like. It's up to you!

Here's how:

I think it helps to begin by writing your story, because then you'll get a better idea for how you want to arrange your photos and text in the book. Think about what you want your child to get from this book, and when you intend for them to read and enjoy it. Do you want to read it to them as a toddler (as was my aim)? Do you want to gift it to them as an adult? Is the book for you and not your child?
Arrange your photos in the book according to the story. This took me a few tries, to be honest, to get it just the way I wanted it.
Add colored paper with the text of your story in the sleeves that don't have photographs in them. I had to trim some of my papers to fit nicely in the sleeves. One of those scrapbooking cutters or a paper cutter would be handy for this, but I did just fine with a pair of scissors.

A page from our book. It reads,
"Daniel nursed a lot in the beginning;
as he got older, he nursed less often."
Consider adding a special (hand-written) note to your child in part of the book. It could be on the back of one of the photographs, on the last page, or wherever seems like a natural place to put it.
Customize the front and back covers by adding photographs, colored paper, or a title to your photo book.

Voilà! You end up with a beautiful keepsake gift to commemorate an important stage in your lives together.

How did you celebrate weaning with your child(ren)? I'd love to hear your ideas and stories!

Thank you for visiting the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (and many thanks to Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch for designing our lovely button):

On Breastfeeding, Weaning, and One Mother’s Identity — Jessica at Natural Parents Network has been nursing one or more of her children since 1993 - breastfeeding is wrapped up in her concept of mothering and herself. She shares her thoughts on weaning.
two tales of weaning — Aspen at Aspen Mama writes about their countdown to wean.
Wean Me Gently — Tam at Please Send Parenting Books shares a beautiful weaning ceremony.
You say potato, I say bleeeuuuuch... — Anelie at Mindcradle had read the books and knew just how to introduce her baby son to solids—unfortunately, he had other ideas.
A Post Called Weaning — (Not) Maud at Awfully Chipper writes about how weaning her son took longer than she expected.
On Weaning, Pregnancy and Emotion — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about her mixed emotions as she allows her son, Little Man, to guide her through his weaning process.
half of her life — Staci at Springpatch Jam looks back on her nursing relationship with her first born.
Is it just this After Forty Mom or is it harder to wean when its your last? — Amanda of After Forty Mom shares her emotional journey towards the impending self-weaning of her toddler daughter.
Nursing Limits — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how she has weaned her toddler down to minimal nursing and her guilt about the decision to do so.
Weaning Video Series #1: Preparation for the Weaning Process — Why is weaning such a taboo topic? Dionna at Code Name: Mama got mamas from across the blogosphere to start talking about weaning - on video. Come check out the first video in a series of five that she'll be posting this week.
Weaning due to anxiety — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about how she had to wean to preserve her mental health.
When Will I Wean? A Guest Post — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama hosts a guest post from a mama who contemplates when her breastfeeding relationship will end.
On His Own Terms — Momeeezen shares her heartbreak from when her son weaned much earlier than she anticipated.
Our Weaning Story - Sudden, Surprised, and Embracing a New Season — Weaning doesn't always go how we imagine. That Mama Gretchen shares the story of her daughter's sudden weaning and how she has embraced this new season of motherhood.
A Tale of Two Weanings — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the similarities and differences of how her nursing relationships with her now six-year-old and four-year-old daughters came to a close.
She Doesn't Remember — Alicia at Lactation Narration finds that her 6 year old no longer remembers nursing, only one year after weaning.
It's The End of the World As We Know It — A story about the end of a tandem nursing relationship on Never Mind The Rain: A toddler moves on to a new phase in her life before mom is fully ready.
A Natural End To Our Breastfeeding Relationship — With two self-weaning children, Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots does not know when the end will come, but that it will be natural and without regrets.
Child-Led weaning: It's Not Extreme; It's Biological — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children explains why child-led weaning is based on biology rather than social constraints.
6 Years of Natural Weaning in 5 Steps — Jess at miniMum shares how and why she let her first child stop when he was good and ready.
Is This Weaning?: A Tandem Nursing Update — Sheila at A Living Family bares all her tandem nursing hopes and fears during what feels like the beginning of the end for her toddler nursing relationship.
Memories of Weaning: Unique and Gentle — Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife shares her weaning experiences with her two sons, each one unique in how it happened and yet equally gentle in its approach.
Weaning Aversion' — Gentle Mama Moon shares her experience of nursing and unplanned weaning due to pregnancy-induced 'feeding aversion'.
Three Months Post-Mup: An Evolution of Thoughts On Weaning — cd at FidgetFace describes a brief look at her planned (but accelerated) weaning, as well as one mamma's evolution on weaning (and extended nursing)
Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler — After tandem nursing for a year, Melissa at Permission to Live felt like weaning her older child would be impossible, but now she shares how gentle weaning worked for her 2 1/2 year old.
Every Journey Begins with One Step — As Hannabert begins the weaning process, Hannah at Hannah and Horn's super power is diminishing.
Reflections on Weaning - Love Changes Form — Amy from Presence Parenting (guest posting at Dulce de Leche) shares her experience and approach of embracing weaning as a continual process in parenting, not just breastfeeding.
Weaning Gently: Three Special Ideas for Success — MudpieMama shares three ideas that help make weaning a gentle and special journey.
Guest Post: Carnival of Weaning — Emily shares her first weaning experience and her hopes for her second nursling in a guest post on Farmer's Daughter.
12 Tips for Gentle Weaning — Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting describes the process of gentle weaning and gives specific tips to make weaning an organic, joyful ripening.
Quiz: Should You Wean for Fertility Treatments? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries talks about the key issues in the difficult decision to wean for infertility treatments.
I thought about weaning... — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World shares her story of how she thought about weaning several times, yet it still happened on its own timeline.
Celebrating Weaning — Amy at Anktangle reflects on her thoughts and feelings about weaning, and she shares a quick tutorial for one of the ways she celebrated this transition with her son: through a story book with photographs!
Naturally Weaning Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses the gradual path to weaning she has taken with her preschool-aged twins.
Gentle Weaning Means Knowing When to Stop — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl writes about knowing when your child is not ready to wean and taking their feelings into account in the process.
Weaning, UnWeaning, and ReWeaning — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy discovers non-mutal weaning doesn't have to be the end. You can have a do-over.
Prelude to weaning — Lauren at Hobo Mama talks about a tough tandem nursing period and what path she would like to encourage her older nursling to take.
Demands of a Nursing Kind — Amy Willa at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work shares her conflicted feelings about nursing limits and explores different ways to achieve comfort, peace, and bodily integrity as a nursing mother.
Breastfeeding: If there's one thing I know for sure... — Wendy at ABCs and Garden Peas explores the question: How do you know when it's time to wean?
Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Two, Three? — Zoie at TouchstoneZ discusses going from 3 nurslings down to 1 and what might happen when her twins arrive.

Giveaway: Moonrise Lullaby Celtic Harp CD (10 Copies!) $20 ARV {6/9; Worldwide}

2012-05-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Patricia Sereno is offering Anktangle readers a chance to win one of 10 copies of her CD Moonrise Lullaby, a value of $20. Moonrise Lullaby is a collection of soothing Celtic harp pieces designed to calm your baby into a peaceful sleep.

My thoughts and experiences:

I truly love this CD. Patricia Sereno really has a gift for writing lullabies! Each one has a unique sound and mood from the last, yet they all come together as a cohesive unit, set to rock your baby to sleep with the soft strings of the Celtic harp. The songs in Moonrise Lullaby flow smoothly from one to the next, with no abrupt interruptions or startling introductions which might wake Baby when she's in that in-between sleep stage.

I've enjoyed rocking Daniel to sleep at nap time while listening to this album. He is fairly picky about what types of sounds he'll tolerate during the early sleep stage, but Moonrise Lullaby goes over well even with my sensitive kiddo. I play it very softly over speakers in the room, and the notes of the lullabies float in over us as we rock in the glider together. I've found myself rocking with Daniel longer than usual lately (even after he's fast asleep), because I so much enjoy the peace and sense of calm that I feel while holding and breathing with him in that space.

We also play this album in the living room during quiet "chill-out" times when we all need to slow down and decrease overwhelming stimulation in the environment. Like using some other types of music, the harp pieces on this CD can help to calm Daniel down when he's feeling too wound up.

Moonrise Lullaby is definitely not just for babies (or nearly two-year-olds, like my baby), but it seems as though it would also be extremely useful for calming the frazzled nerves of over-tired mamas and papas everywhere. I've taken to listening to the tracks of Patricia's album while doing work at my computer, to help ease tension from any difficult projects I'm working on. The Celtic harp has such a beautiful, resonant, ethereal sound which is very soothing and peaceful.

In the process of setting up this review and giveaway, I had the pleasure of having a lovely phone conversation with Patricia. I enjoyed talking with her so much that I thought you might like to get to know her a little better, too! I hope you enjoy learning more about what motivates and inspires her to make beautiful music to help soothe babies around the World:

Amy: How did you get started playing the harp? And do you play other instruments?

Patricia: Since I was nine years old I knew I wanted to play the harp. Music in my life began with the piano when I was five. After that, I played classical flute for many years before learning the Celtic harp in my early 30s. There was the wonderful opportunity to borrow a harp, which I took and then gave myself lessons for one year. Right away, I knew I had found the instrument of my heart and at the end of that year, bought my own harp!

What is it that you love about playing the harp in particular?

I love how the sound of the harp vibrates and has such a long resonance. This means the lower notes can still be vibrating as I play higher notes on top of it which creates a special sound. What is wonderful is when I play the harp, I can feel the vibrations of the music.

I also love that the harp, especially the smaller sized harp, has a history that is over 5,000 years old and was part of so many ancient cultures. In addition, the harp has always been strongly associated with spirituality, healing and Angels.

What motivates you to write music?

Each piece of music tells a story. Each piece reflects a feeling, situation or event that I attempt to communicate to the listener. When I am moved about something that happens to me or someone around me, I turn to the harp and try to capture that essence and feeling with a certain melody, harmony and tempo. The tempo of most of my compositions reflect the natural rhythms of the body such as heartbeat, breathing or walking which the listener can consciously or unconsciously relate to.

Who is your biggest inspiration?

Loreena McKennitt has been my inspiration both as a harpist and independent musician. Her music is powerful and moving and she produced her early albums under her own label in order to keep the integrity of her music rather than make her music into what the big music labels wanted to sell. I admire that immensely.

What got you started into writing music for babies?

People found my music easy to fall asleep to and many were using my first two albums to put their children to sleep, and to be a part of their children’s bedtime ritual. So I thought, if that music works, imagine what would happen if I made an album of intentional music to put babies to sleep - that would be even more effective! Happily, that is exactly what has happened.

I get a lot of comments from people that they haven’t been able to listen to the whole album because they fall asleep during the first few tracks! Recently I was sent a photograph in an email from a mother who plays my music regularly for her two small children. The email was entitled “Track 2” and all it contained was a photo of her daughter fast asleep in her car seat! To me that was a sign of true success for my album – I have accomplished what I set out to do, put babies to sleep!

What's your favorite lullaby?

My favorite lullaby is Sleeping with Angels. This is because I know that Angels watch over all babies, even the ones we have lost. Losing a baby, before or after birth, can be a silent grief carried by women that nobody talks about. Yet this kind of loss has been the experience of women since the beginning of time. I wanted to give a voice to that bittersweet grief and love that I have felt, and perhaps other women have felt too.

My second favorite is Ellianna Rose, which is a piece I wrote for my great niece when she was born. She was only 2 lbs and 10 weeks early. She was a tiny miracle of life. She just turned 6 this year and is smart, healthy and strong – including strong minded! This piece is about the strength of the human spirit, how it can survive and thrive despite uncertain beginnings.

Is there anything else you'd like to tell us about yourself, your music, your calling?

When I was 23 I had an ectopic pregnancy and almost died. After that, I was so damaged internally I was unable to have any more children. Through the lullabies, through the music, I am able to love to sleep all the babies who hear it. When I recorded the album, I played the harp as if I were playing the music to put my own baby to sleep.

I am also aware that babies born today have so many more challenges than ever before. The speed with which everything is changing, the use of technology in almost every area of our life, and the complications of modern life are just a few examples. There are so many more noises and distractions that babies have to cope with now that never existed before. Because of these and other reasons, it was important for me to create a peaceful space apart from all of that for the babies and their parents to relax in, even if it is only for a few minutes at a time.

It is my great wish that my lullabies and the sounds of my harp might give babies a comforting experience and perhaps transport their parents to a place of simple calm, where time moves more slowly.

I can tell you that even from the relatively brief time I've known her, that Patricia has a real gift for connecting with and understanding people. She deeply cares about babies and their parents, and she hopes that through her music she can make a difference in the lives of sleepless families everywhere.

Thank you, Patricia, for taking the time to talk with me and for sharing your story and your gift of music with all of us.

Buy it!

You can purchase your own copy of Patricia Sereno's Moonrise Lullaby CD through Indie Pool for $20, or from iTunes if you prefer to put it directly onto your smartphone or mp3 player. Patricia's other albums, Evolution of Light and Mystic Morning are available for sale through Indie Pool and iTunes as well!

Win it!

For your chance to win your own Moonrise Lullaby CD from Patricia Sereno and Anktangle, simply enter by leaving a comment and using the Rafflecopter system below!

Ten winners will receive a copy of Moonrise Lullaby. Contest open Worldwide.
Please leave a valid email address so I can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so I can verify entries.

BONUS ENTRIES:
See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered into Rafflecopter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest closes June 9, 2012, at 11:59PM Eastern Time.

Contest open Worldwide.

If you have any questions, please let me know! anktangle@gmail.com

Disclosure: I received a sample product for review purposes,
and the sponsor of this giveaway also advertises on Anktangle.
All opinions are my own.
If I don't like a product, I won't recommend it to you.
Please see my full disclosure policy here.

Week 20: Fasting & Food

2012-05-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Days 130-136:

The day I fell down the stairs...again.
(This is where it happened; notice the lack of handrail.)

Just hangin' out, drinkin' some juice.

First attempts at no-mow ground cover for our backyard.
I'll let you know how it goes!

Matthew, Daniel, and me
waiting at one of Daniel's appointments.

Breaking my fast: after a lovely five day juice fast,
I enjoyed an egg and a few dried figs.

Sick day cuddling on the couch together.

Celebrating together at sushi-go-round:
one of my brother's books is being published!

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama, Natural Parents Network, I Thought I Knew Mama, and Farmer's Daughter, at What's New at Vibrant Wanderings, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Making Less Trash

2012-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I realized yesterday that when we moved into our new house (and began paying for our own garbage pick-up) we majorly downgraded our trash can. Our new can will hold only three (white, tall) bags of trash, and trash is collected every two weeks. We're taking steps to continue to reduce the waste we produce, but there's always room for improvement in that area! I'm grateful to Chris and Rebekah of Liberated Family for offering today's helpful guest post: all about ways to reduce the amount of trash we make in order to treat the environment with more respect. Please read to the bottom to learn more about today's guest writers.

A garbage truck drove past us at an intersection today. Plastered on its side was the message, "Our landfills provide 17,000 acres of wildlife habitat." What does this hype mean? Surely they're not talking about lush, green fields and young forests growing atop a mountain of trash? It seems most likely that they had 17,000 acres of wildlife habitat in the first place, dumped untold tons of trash on it, covered it up, and turned the hype machine on. Of course, we all generate trash, and it has to go somewhere. I just don't buy into the ridiculousness of the claim that burying it in the dirt is actually environmentally friendly. No matter what the claim is, it's simply buried, where a large part of it will still be at least somewhat intact in 1000 years.

But the purpose of this post is not to trash the trash service. I want to discuss ways your family can reduce the amount of trash you're sending to the landfill. Our family of four produces about ½ of a paper grocery sack of trash each week. Here's how we do that:

First of all, we use a paper sack for nearly all our trash. It just doesn't make sense to put trash that you want to (eventually) rot into a non-biodegradable plastic trash bag.
Lots of trash is just packaging and wrappers. We are careful about the purchases we make. Buying things used or secondhand reduces the need for packaging. Buying locally also reduces the need for extra packaging. Ask yourself where the things you buy will be in 1000 years - it will help you make more conscientious decisions.
Nearly 100% of the food we buy is raw ingredients. That eliminates so much cardboard and plastic packaging to throw away.
We buy a lot of our food in bulk (such as beans, rice flour, and spices), and we strive to package this food in recyclable paper sacks when we purchase it rather than using plastic bags.
We recycle everything possible. While we only make ½ a bag of trash each week, we probably fill 2 bags with recycling.
We don't put food scraps in the trash! It's easy to start a compost pile or a worm bin for your fruit and vegetable waste and scraps. Give meat scraps and oils to your local raccoons and opossums by placing them at least 30 feet from your house and away from foot traffic. If those aren't viable options for you, then send it down the garbage disposal, where it will have the chance to break down and return to the earth, while keeping the bulk out of the landfill. (But remember - no oils down the drain! Sealed in a jar and placed in the trash is best.)
If something is still usable but we no longer want or need it, it does not get thrown away! Everything from used appliances, old bookshelves, clothing, toys, and more can be donated to your local thrift store to help a charity, given away on Freecycle, or even sold via Craigslist or Ebay.

It takes a little effort, but you might find, as we did, that you can cut the amount of trash you generate by up to 75%! And remember, everything left out of the landfill is less for our descendants to have to deal with later.

Chris and Rebekah of Liberated Family have two boys. They enjoy preparing traditional foods, gardening, parenting their kids, natural remedies, and a simple lifestyle.

They believe a liberated family is one that frees itself from the unwritten rules and restrictions placed on it, mostly by society. Their blog, LiberatedFamily.com, tells how they do this. It focuses on natural childbirth, natural parenting, traditional foods, unschooling, unjobbing, living simply, and eliminating excess waste. Rebekah and Chris also create heirloom-quality toys at BornAtHomeToys.com.

This post has been edited from a previous version, originally published at Liberated Family.

Sunday Surf: Happy Mother's Day!

2012-05-13T08:54:00.002-07:00

What a beautiful day to celebrate mothers!

I'm not entirely sure what we'll be doing today, but I know it will involve eating delicious food (some of which I will not prepare) and spending time together as a family. What are your plans for the day?

If you want to treat yourself to a little something extra special this Mother's Day, I highly recommend entering to win a copy of my friend Lauren's book, Poetry of a Hobo Mama. It's a beautiful, funny, truth-filled collection that I believe would resonate with any mother. You have only until tomorrow night (May 14) at midnight Eastern to get your entries in, and Lauren is giving away two copies—so I hope you'll go enter now!

I've been a bit lax with Sunday Surf (and blogging in general) lately because Jaymz, Daniel, and I have been sick again with a lingering Spring cold. I've been resting and trying to recover, and I've been prioritizing that over writing here. I know you understand. ;)

In light of today being Mother's Day and the recent TIME magazine cover which is making such an impact, I've chosen a few links to share today about extended (full-term) breastfeeding, Attachment Parenting, and motherhood.

I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did!

I Will Not Nurse You Forever – Nurshable

I love this beautiful letter from mother to daughter explaining how weaning is so misunderstood.

Just Another Mom, and That is Enough. – True Confessions of a Real Mommy

Ask yourself: are you mom enough for your children? Do you do your best to meet their needs, as well as your own? Do you make decisions based on what is possible for you in your current situation?

That is precisely what makes us enough.

Yes, she’s 4, and yes, she’s still breastfeeding. – normal, like breathing

This is such a lovely story of a mama nursing her four-year-old daughter in the hospital after having major surgery!

Breastfeeding your child beyond infancy – CNN.com video

Not technically "reading," but I really appreciated this CNN interview with Mayim Bialik, who calmly (yet firmly) explained what Attachment Parenting really is: It's all about listening to your child and responding to his needs at every age, not about how long (or even whether or not) you breastfeed.

We're all mom enough – Lauren Wayne on BlogHer

We're all parenting the best we know how. We're doing what works for us and our families. We don't need to set up barriers that don't exist between parents who are all doing what we can to raise healthy, happy children.

TIME Magazine Cover: Extended Breastfeeding Does Not Equal Extreme – Dionna Ford

Dionna of Code Name: Mama (who is one of the several mamas who were photographed for the TIME cover and article) discusses the (not-so) "extreme" of nursing a three-year-old, and how it doesn't make her "more mom" than anyone else.

This week at Natural Parents Network:

What have you read lately that I shouldn't miss?

Photo Challenge Week 19: Grass & Garden

2012-05-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

Jaymz, Daniel, and I have been sick again this week, which is why I'm so late posting these photos. I hope you'll wish us all good health soon!

Days 123-129:

Drawing on the floor of the courthouse
while Jaymz and I do paperwork for our name change.

I spent the afternoon cutting down tall grass
in the back yard...and I got a little messy.

Ear protection for everyone!
(We tilled the back yard this morning.)

At the dentist

Several of my seed starts have outgrown
their tiny greenhouse, like these kale plants.

Daniel helps with the cart at the grocery store!
He brought a lot of joy to strangers this day. =)

Dinner on day one of my recent juice fast.

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, at What's New at Vibrant Wanderings, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Yearning for Tribal Times

2012-05-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the May 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With or Without Extended Family

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how relatives help or hinder their parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

One evening several weeks ago, I was standing at the stove cooking mac & cheese with beef & peas, a version of one of my family's go-to meals when I don't know what else to make for dinner. It's a delicious one bowl meal with four of the food groups represented, and it's fairly simple. Anyone who has made a cream sauce knows, though, that if you don't stir it often enough, you'll either burn the milk or end up with a lumpy, inconsistent mess.

That day I had just happened to ruin Daniel's nap by going on an errand in the morning, and he had slept for a total of maybe fifteen minutes in the car. My brother Matthew (who lives with us) had also decided to spend the afternoon out of the house. He had planned to be back in time for dinner prep, but later called to say he would be coming home around dinnertime instead.

So there I was, juggling taking care of a cranky toddler who wanted to eat all the uncooked macaroni, while also sauteing beef and peas, boiling pasta, and making a cream sauce. As I was failing miserably at multitasking (and my sauce was getting lumpy) I started to think about how different it was not to have my brother around to spend a few minutes with Daniel: keeping him from starting the dishwasher, pulling the knife off the counter, and pulling my pants down as he ~~demanded~~ asked sweetly for more juice.

Dinner got on the table over an hour later than planned that evening.

Perhaps very appropriately, I had been watching the show "Cake Boss" that afternoon. Do you know the show? It's about a Hoboken, New Jersey baker named Buddy, who makes elaborate high-end cakes. Much of the show's plot revolves around his large Italian family and their antics and drama. One of Buddy's sisters isn't very skilled at cooking and the rest of the family is always picking on her for it—but really, because of the proximity of her extended family members, she doesn't really need to know how to cook. Just like in a tribe or communal living situation: each individual has her strengths, and no one person has to do everything.

Most of us, however, live (relatively) alone. We have to either be experts on everything or create our own tribe to help us get through. When we lived in communal situations, not everyone had to be good at cooking. An at-home (in-hut?) parent didn't have to worry much about her children getting scalded (or eaten by a wild animal) while she sat at the fire cooking dinner, because other parents and older children would be looking after her little ones.

As I stood at my stove stirring the sauce (and hoping for the best) while Daniel unloaded twenty pounds of juicing apples onto our dining table, I thought about how exhausting it is to be caring for someone else and not be able to care for myself fully all the time. I was unshowered (having planned to shower during Daniel's nap, which then never happened) and I was hungry. I was still giving-giving-giving to my family, even though my tank was on empty. I felt frustrated. The only way I've been able to fully, effectively care for myself in the past two years is by asking for and accepting a lot of help. I realize that our situation is a bit different from the average family because of Daniel's special needs but still—I know I'm not the only one struggling with balancing family obligations and self care.

In the tribe though, each member's strengths are utilized, and her weaknesses are made up for by the strengths of others. If nighttime parenting isn't your forte, the night owl would take a shift with your colicky infant. If cooking isn't your niche, the grandmother would make food for everyone. If you're not the best at organizing, your neighbor could tidy your hut while you watched all the kiddos!

I long for this kind of living situation, where we can all rely on each other to give and take equally. Where I would get a shower and some alone time on a regular basis, in exchange for doing the meal prep for others who don't enjoy it.

I've cherished the alloparenting moments since my brother has been with us, because it takes the pressure off of all of us. That's what I see as the beauty of the tribal model of living: no one person has to be everything to everyone; no one has to stay patient and calm with a screaming baby while also doing ten different things.

I only wish we could all have a little more of that relief in our lives!

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 8 with all the carnival links.)

Dealing With Unsupportive Grandparents — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, The Pistachio Project tells what to do when your child's grandparents are less than thrilled about your parenting choices.
Parenting With Extended Family — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares the pros and cons of parenting with extended family...
Parental Support for an AP Mama — Meegs at A New Day talks about the invaluable support of her parents in her journey to be an AP mama.
Priceless Grandparents — That Mama Gretchen reflects on her relationship with her priceless Grammy while sharing ways to help children preserve memories of their own special grandparents.
Routines Are Meant To Be Broken — Olga at Around The Birthing Ball urges us to see Extended Family as a crucial and necessary link between what children are used to at home and the world at large.
It Helps To Have A Village – Even A Small One — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how she has flourished as a mother due to the support of her parents.
The Orange Week — Erika at Cinco de Mommy lets go of some rules when her family finally visits extended family in San Diego.
One Size Doesn't Fit All — Kellie at Our Mindful Life realizes that when it comes to family, some like it bigger and some like it smaller.
It Takes a Family — Alicia at What's Next can't imagine raising a child without the help of her family.
A new foray into family — As someone who never experienced close extended family, Lauren at Hobo Mama wrestles with how to raise her kids — and herself — to restart that type of community.
My Mama Rocks! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment is one lucky Mama to have the support and presence of her own awesome Mama.
Embracing Our Extended Family — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares 7 ideas for nurturing relationships with extended family members.
Doing Things Differently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares how parenting her children far away from extended family improved her confidence in her choices.
Snapshots of love — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the joys of sharing her young son's life with her own parents.
Parenting with Relies – A mixed bag — Ursula Ciller shares some of her viewpoints on the pros and cons of parenting with relatives and extended family.
Tante and Uncles — How a great adult sibling relationship begets a great relationship with aunt and uncles from Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
Tips for Traveling With Twins — Megan at the Boho Mama shares some tips for traveling with infant twins (or two or more babies!).
Parenting passed through the generations — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about the incredible parenting resource that is her found family, and how she hopes to continue the trend.
My Family and My Kids — Jorje of Momma Jorje ponders whether she distrusts her family or if she is simply a control freak.
Parenting with a Hero — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet reminisces about the relationship she shared with her younger brother, and how he now shares that closeness in a relationship with her son.
Text/ended Family — Kenna of A Million Tiny Things wishes her family was around for the Easter egg hunt... until she remembers what it's actually like having her family around.
Two Kinds of Families — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how her extended family is just as valuable to her mommying as her church family.
My 'high-needs' child and 'strangers' — With a 'high-needs' daughter, aNonyMous at Radical Ramblings has had to manage without the help of family or friends, adapting to her daughter's extreme shyness and allowing her to socialise on her own terms.
Our Summer Tribe — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a love of her family's summer reunion, her secret to getting the wisdom of the "village" even as she lives 1,000 miles away.
My Life Boat {Well, One of Them} — What good is a life boat if you don't get it? Grandparents are a life boat MomeeeZen loves!
Dear Children — In an open letter to her children, Laura at Pug in the Kitchen promises to support them as needed in her early days of parenting.
Yearning for Tribal Times — Ever had one of those days where everything seems to keep going wrong? Amy at Anktangle recounts one such day and how it inspired her to think about what life must've been like when we lived together in large family units.
I don't have a village — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama wishes she had family nearby but appreciates their support and respect.
Trouble With MILs-- Ourselves? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake Half Asleep explains how her arguments with her mother-in-law may have something to do with herself.
A Family Apart — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings writes about the challenges, and the benefits, of building a family apart from relatives.
First Do No Harm — Zoie at TouchstoneZ asks: How do you write about making different parenting choices than your own family experience without criticizing your parents?
Military Family Separation — Amy Willa shares her feelings about being separated from extended family during her military family journey.
Forging A Village In The Absence Of One — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about the importance of creating a support network, a village, when family isn't an option.
Respecting My Sister’s Parenting Decisions — Dionna at Code Name: Mama's sister is guest posting on the many roles she has as an aunt. The most important? She is the named guardian, and she takes that role seriously.
Multi-Generational Living: An Exercise in Love, Patience, and Co-Parenting — Boomerang Mama at The Other Baby Book shares her experience of moving back in with Mom and Dad for 7 months, and the unexpected connection that followed.
A Heartfelt Letter to Family: Yes, We're Weird, but Please Respect Us Anyway — Sheila of A Living Family sincerely expresses ways she would appreciate her extended family’s support for her and her children, despite their “weird” parenting choices.
The nuclear family is insane! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle is grateful for family support, wishes her Mum lived closer, and feels an intentional community would be the ideal way to raise her children.

(The Big Reveal)

2012-05-04T19:25:00.001-07:00

I apologize for the delay between my initial post about our plans to blend our last name and this one announcing the name (but we've been a little busy lately).

Now that Jaymz, Daniel, and I have begun the legal name change process, our future name is a matter of public record (that is, if you know where to look!). But you don't have to know because I'm going to show you anyway:

Our new last name is Rhime (pronounced like "rhyme").

I like that the name retains one sound from each previous name (the "rye" from Reiswig and the "em" sound from Temple) while having a different sound. It has two letters from each original name and one (bonus!) letter, the "h" for "hugs" and "happy" and "harmony." ...Or something.

We have a hearing date in several weeks which will finalize it legally for all three of us, and then we plan to have some sort of celebration. We're going to send out an announcement to family and friends, too, so if you fall into that category and you're reading this and you think I might not have your current address, please send me an email!

Anyway, there it is.

(You might be interested to check out Jaymz's post about this, too.)

Photo Challenge Week 18: Newness

2012-05-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Days 116-122:

New bike!

New clothesline!

Working from home

A little waiting room art by Daniel and Uncle Matthew

Outside the yoga studio ♥

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, at What's New at Vibrant Wanderings, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Anktangle Creations Giveaway: Baby Leggings!

2012-05-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm giving away a pair of handmade baby leggings (winner's choice!) from my shop Anktangle Creations over at Tales of a Kitchen Witch today. I hope you'll head over there and enter to win before the contest ends this Thursday, May 3, at 8AM Central.

While you're at it, make sure to congratulate Joni Rae on reaching an incredible 3333 Facebook fans—wow!

Dear Daniel, (On Discipline and Love)

2012-04-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Spank Out Day 2012 Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the Second Annual Spank Out Day Carnival hosted by Zoie at TouchstoneZ. Spank Out Day was created by The Center for Effective Discipline to give attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching children appropriate behavior. All parents, guardians, and caregivers are encouraged to refrain from hitting children on April 30th each year, and to seek alternative methods of discipline through programs available in community agencies, churches and schools.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Dear Daniel,

There are a lot of choices in life, and when you're an adult you have both the privilege and burden of making all of life's decisions for yourself. While you're still a child, though, there are a lot of things that get decided for you. I know from experience how hard it can be to not have as many rights as other people, which is why your Papa and I do our best to give you as much freedom, choice, and control as is practical and safe in any given moment.

You get to choose how to use your hands,
just as Papa and I choose how to use ours.

One of the choices Papa and I have as adults (who are parents) is how to discipline you. "Discipline" is a big word and it may sound kind of scary, but its root meaning is "to teach." Among other things, it is a parent's job to teach her children: about respect, rules, safety...about most everything in life.

Papa and I choose to teach you by example: with compassion, empathy, understanding, and most of all, with unconditional love. That means we love you all the time, no matter what.

Some parents decide that the best way to teach their children when they display undesirable behaviors is to spank them. Papa and I both were spanked by our parents when we were children. We have chosen not to spank you.

Spanking is not a very effective form of discipline, but even if it was, Papa and I still wouldn't do it. We wouldn't do it because we believe that hitting is wrong. We believe that violence begets violence, and it's a choice each of us has to make: to perpetuate the cycle or to end it. Hear this, Daniel: it's not alright for anyone to cause you physical pain without your consent—especially not people who love you.

Your body is your own to do with what you want. You get to decide when and how people touch you. You get to say "yes" or "no" to any physical contact, and you can expect others to respect your request. You also get to choose how you will use your body to touch others.

Above all other things, I want to teach you love. I want to show you love in every moment, even—no, especially—in the difficult ones. Those are the times when I'll be there for you most intensely, most steadfastly. I hope that through using my body to show you love (and not pain) you will know best how to use your body to show love and respect for others.

It's your choice, Daniel: how you use your body. I hope you'll choose gentleness, kindness, connection, and respect. I hope you'll choose love.

Love,
Momma

On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #SpankOutCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Spank Out Day Carnival Twitter List and Spank Out Day Carnival Participant Feed.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

What Spanking Taught Me Meg at MommyStoleTheSugar explains the spankee's perspective and how it has affected her disciplining choices as a parent.
A Memory of Spanking Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores her own upbringing and how it has affected her and why she is changing the way she relates to her children.
Redirecting the Impulse to Spank Amy W. shares at Natural Parents Network about her experience redirecting the impulse to spank, and encourages all parents to respond with sensitivity and redirect anger before it becomes harmful.
Perspective is Everything Patti at Canadian Unschooler learns to heal from the trauma caused by the childhood death of her sister, and gains a deeper understanding of her own mother's love for her as a child.
Remembering and Recharging Emily at The Other Baby Blog shares how she refocuses her mindset during high-stress times.
Does spanking work? Megan at TheBehavioralChild lists the five reasons why spanking doesn't work.
Love is All There Is: A Spank Out Day Post Tree at Mom Grooves shares her thoughts about needing to find a way to discipline her 5 year old that could give her daughter the boundaries she is craving while still treating her with only love and respect.
Discipline isn't SOmething You Do; Discipline is SOmething You Have Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children questions how parents can expect their children to show self-control if they, themselves, do not exhibit self-discipline.
No Spanking, No Yelling, No Time Outs....What's Left? Sheila at A Living Family shares that though spanked as a child herself, she has made efforts towards an alternative approach to setting limits.
Forgiveness is possible; loving others in a way that works for us Kelly Hogaboom finds that if we are to raise our children in a humane fashion, we must first recognize our own humanity.
Dear Daniel, (On Discipline and Love) Amy at Anktangle writes a letter to her son about the many choices we have in life: how we treat people, how we parent, and how we use our bodies in the process.
Spanking: A Day to Consider Our Muddy Boots recognizes that some see a difference between abuse and spanking, and maybe today is a day that we can consider some other perspectives and utilize available resources to make different choices.
Mutual Respect Sithyogini at Very Nearly Hippy learns how mutual respect between parents and children leads to peaceful parenting.
What Is the Difference Between Spanking and Abuse? You know what is difficult? Trying to explain the difference between spanking and abuse to a child. Dionna at Code Name: Mama can understand the confusion.
I Hit My Kids and Now Begins The Real Work To Heal The Honesty Conspiracy hosts this powerful, anonymous story about how it's never too late to start on a different approach to spanking.
How To Talk To Parents About Gentle Alternatives To Spanking Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares some useful ways to discuss the often divisive issue of spanking.
Spank Out Day: 3 Untruths and 11 Alternatives to Spanking MudpieMama at Positive Parenting Connection breaks down 3 of the biggest myths about spanking and shares a list of effective gentler discipline alternatives.

Sunday Surf: Weeds and Poetry

2012-04-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

Here I am yesterday, all covered in grass.
Many thanks to my brother for taking this photo.

I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon cutting down tall grass and weeds in our back yard with a large weed eater we rented from a local shop. I kept unearthing new and interesting things in the yard: a section of a 2x4", a shingle, pieces of brick, a 4' metal post anchored in the ground and bent sideways.

Working on the yard has been meditative for me in a way I truly didn't expect. I feel like we're slowly reclaiming this property after years of misuse and abuse, dedicating it to a new phase of its history. It feels so good that I'm planning on doing it again all day today!

Another thing I did yesterday was to publish this giveaway of two copies of my friend Lauren's poetry book, Poetry of a Hobo Mama. As national poetry month comes to a close and as Mothers' Day draws near, it's a perfect time to add Lauren's book to your library. Poetry of a Hobo Mama would make a lovely addition to your poetry collection or a wonderful gift for a special mother in your life.

I hope you'll take time to read how much Lauren's writing has touched my life, then enter to win one of her books!

Here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

Trust – Moms Alive

While I think I'm pretty good at it, and I've made a great effort to follow my instincts since Daniel was born, I wish I had trusted myself more when it came to the issue of him eating solid food and gaining weight. This post from Emma at Moms Alive tells her story about introducing foods to her daughter, reminding us to trust ourselves.

The time I put my baby down and walked away – Confessions of a Dr. Mom

I really liked this post on how it's perfectly OK to (make sure your baby's basic needs are met and then) put him down while he's screaming and take a break for yourself. Part of my comment on her post: It is very important to know that we must take care of ourselves to be able to care for our children. Sometimes part of adequate self-care is taking a moment away from our precious, screaming baby to regroup and calm our own nervous systems so that we can help them more effectively when we return. I had to do this many times when my son (diagnosed early on by our ped as "colicky") screamed all. day. long. Turns out he has sensory processing issues, and the screaming did not stop after 3-4 months, it only got more intense (eventually up to 7 hours during the day before we found an OT to assess him). I wish our pediatrician had considered sensory as a possible cause before telling me it was my fault for stressing out my child and that I should hire a nanny.

Chocolate Placenta Truffles – peaceful parenting

This is a great article from Doula David on ingesting placenta in the postpartum period. I had Daniel's placenta encapsulated, and I'd definitely do it again with any future pregnancies. (In fact, I might have to get in on this truffle idea—sounds delicious!) Before passing judgment, consider that humans are the only mammals who don't routinely ingest their placentas after giving birth. Maybe the animal world knows something we don't?

In Cold Blood – Little Hearts Gentle Parenting Resources

I have a huge problem with the proponents of using corporal punishment in children who use the Bible to back up their claims of the "right" way to raise children. I had a hard time reading this article because it makes me so sad to know that so many children are being spanked because their parents subscribe to the writings of these "experts." It's important to know the research (plenty of which is highlighted in this article) about spanking before deciding (or defaulting) to use it.

Three Things We Need To Stop Doing to Newborns! – Progressive Parenting

Interesting post about three things we shouldn't be doing to newborns: hatting, chatting, and patting!

The Circumcision Decision: Keeping Our Son Intact – That Mama Gretchen

A fact-filled post from Gretchen about why she and her husband have decided to keep their unborn son intact. I appreciate that there's been more and more conversation about this sensitive topic lately. The more informed we all are when making decisions, the better!

This week at Natural Parents Network:

What have you read lately that I just can't miss? I'd love to know!

Giveaway: Poetry of a Hobo Mama Parenting Poetry — $12 ARV — 2 WINNERS! {5.14; Worldwide}

2012-04-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is a joint giveaway with Anktangle and Natural Parents Network. Please enter at one site only. Find the section marked "Win it!" for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Lauren of Hobo Mama is offering a giveaway of TWO copies of her parenting poetry book, Poetry of a Hobo Mama: The First Three Years. Each retails for $11.99, giving this giveaway a combined value of nearly $24.

Poetry of a Hobo Mama is a collection of poems by Lauren Wayne, inspired by the initial three years of parenting her firstborn son, Mikko.

About the book

I sling my baby like a bindle on my back,

tramping along the tracks

countless feet have worn before.

Poetry of a Hobo Mama contains three years' worth of parenting poetry, written from the time Lauren and her husband, Sam, were preparing for Mikko, through watching him grow to three years old. She has included poems that speak of their natural parenting journey — breastfeeding, the family bed, elimination communication, and natural birth among them.

The book is a combination of free verse and more traditional poetry forms, and the topics and tone run through all the variations the poet felt when writing them: the grief of miscarriage, the anticipation of trying to conceive, the upheaval of the newborn months, the joy of parenting, and the balance of motherhood and personal passion.

Until you move away

Pillow hog and space eater,

chubby legs kicking my thighs.

Starfish hands pushing my chest

and unh unh unh in the darkness

until I roll over and let you feed.

Dream interrupter, devourer of sleep,

you take while I wait

until you move away.

Lap hog and attention seeker,

sturdy body invading my space.

Starfish hand pulling my chin

to meet your gray-green eyes,

your chatter about octopi.

Poem interrupter, devourer of time,

you talk while I wait

until you move away.

Imagining a night with full sleep,

imagining a day with concentration,

uninterrupted, unrelenting,

unleavened.

Dreading the day

you move away.

My review

I cannot say enough about this book! Written by my dear friend Lauren, it chronicles three years on her path of motherhood. The collection includes poems about miscarriage, conception, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, and all the monotony and hilarity that comes with becoming a parent.

I've been a fan of Lauren's writing since well before I knew her personally, because her writing is just so incredibly easy to relate to. There's no pretending and no putting on airs or avoiding the touchy and controversial subjects, only the reality of her life as a wife, mother, and woman. She reveals her true self through her words: the humor and wit, the wisdom and growth, even the taboo and painful parts.

Lauren's poetry (in particular) touches me deeply. I envy her ability to express such universal and personal feelings about parenthood and mothering with such beauty and fluidity. Her poetry reminds me of where I've been and gives me insights into where I've yet to go on my mothering journey. Reading her poems even inspires me to write more.

This is a beautiful, funny, truth-filled collection that I believe would resonate with any mother. The focus on Lauren's experiences as an attachment-focused parent gives it a unique perspective which any parent on the natural parenting spectrum could appreciate. But it's not just for the "crunchy" mama in your life; it's truly about the human experience: about life and love, about laughter and loss. It's about the joyfully heart-wrenching reality of loving someone as deeply and fully as a parent loves her child.

I'll leave you with this:

Separation Anxiety

Clinging like a monkey

and your wails following me like guilt

to the coffeeshop down the street,

where I write my novel

and count the minutes

till I pick you up again.

Will you become the child

who lets go of her mother's hand

without a backward glance

and runs to greet her friends?

And am I ready for you to?

About the author

Lauren Wayne lives and writes in the Pacific Northwestern USA, with her husband, Sam, and their two sweet boys: four-year-old Mikko (almost five, he would tell you!) and ten-month-old baby Alrik (who persistently makes the concerned face you see in the picture at right). She has been writing and publishing poetry for twenty-five years, but parenting has added even more inspiration. Poetry allows her to be honest about her emotional journey and to show an image, pin down a feeling, in a way that other writing does not.

Lauren blogs at Hobo Mama about natural and attachment parenting, and gives a behind-the-scenes look at writing at LaurenWayne.com. She co-hosts the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting and is a cofounder of Natural Parents Network, a site that brings together attachment parents interested in a natural lifestyle.

Lauren and Mikko grace the book's cover — that's Lauren and Mikko breastfeeding in public on a Seattle beach when Mikko was just a few months old.

BUY IT!

You can purchase your own copy of Poetry of a Hobo Mama at Amazon and CreateSpace. It's available internationally and on Kindle through Amazon. The list price is $11.99 for the paperback and $9.99 for the ebook.

Just for our readers, Lauren is offering a 20% discount on all book orders through CreateSpace only. (Amazon unfortunately won't allow coupon codes.) Enter code SAP84AYJ during the ordering process.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win one of two copies of Poetry of a Hobo Mama, enter by leaving a comment and using the Rafflecopter system below.

Contest is open WORLDWIDE.

MANDATORY ENTRY: Leave a comment telling us: What is your favorite poet or poem?

Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries.

Since this is a joint giveaway, the Rafflecopter form is the same across each site. You may enter at one site only, but please do visit and enjoy both sites!

BONUS ENTRIES:

See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. Bonus entries are entered through Rafflecopter. Give it a try, and email or leave a comment if you have any questions!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest closes May 14 at 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time.

Surname Stories

2012-04-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

This morning, Jaymz, Daniel, and I spent some time at the courthouse doing legal paperwork for our name changes! Though the process was mostly mundane, I felt nervous and excited with anticipation about finally taking this step together.

Since I first announced our intention to change our surname to a blended name, I've been honored to hear many stories of other families' last names, including history, meanings, spelling changes due to immigration, decision process surrounding hyphenated names, and last names of children, among others. I was so moved by these stories that I put out calls on Facebook and Twitter, asking if anyone would be interested in publicly sharing their name story here. In return I was gifted many personal stories which display the diversity, thoughtfulness, and intention present in the naming process.

I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have!

Susan B at The Life and Times of Susan B.

I was born a Smith. I always felt I faded into the background with that as a name. I married my high school sweetheart at 19 and became a Betke. His family was the only Betke family in the area. Everyone knew I married one of the "Betke" boys. A few years later I joined the Army briefly and they call you by your last name in basic training so I was known as just "Betke". a few years later I was divorced but I did not change my name back to Smith. I was married two weeks into my 19th year so my adulthood consisted of me being a "Betke". My father was not really in my life so I felt no connection to Smith at all. My mother uses her maiden name. At this time I had a child with Betke for a last name and another on the way. No sense on changing now. My new partner had the last name of Crabtree and we had two children while we were dating. That makes two Betke children and two Crabtree children. We separated and I met my current husband. We had a child and since we were not committed to each other fully I went ahead and gave our child the last name of Betke. My husband's last name is Blevins. I was open to hyphenating the names but he was on the fence. We had a second child and hyphenated her last name as Betke-Blevins. We had a third and are expecting a 4th in two months. They have and will have a hyphenated name. (We were married along the way too, and I did not change my name.) My husband met me as a Betke so he doesn't mind. All of my credit, education, and frankly all of my adulthood is in the name of Betke. I have to spell it and pronounce it for everyone but I like my fairly unique name. My husband will give up sometimes and just use it too in a pinch instead of explaining.

Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes

My great great grandparents were married in a Jewish religious ceremony in what was part of Germany during WW2. When my great grandparents decided to move to France as the Nazis were taking over, the government refused to recognize their marriage, and the kids were registered under their grandmother's maiden name. The whole family switched, and never felt the need to change back when they eventually settled in Chicago. When my husband and I got married, we discussed him taking my last name, but he decided it would be too much work. He did agree that the kids should have my last name. His birth parents divorced days after he was born, and he was adopted by his maternal aunt and her husband. When he was 4 (and she was pregnant with their first biological child), they got divorced, and he was never really a part of their lives. When he was 7, she remarried, and they had two more biological children, and multiple adopted and foster children. Since he only shares his last name with one brother, and not any of the people who raised him, he doesn't feel any attachment to it.

Arpita of Up, Down And Natural

I am very thankful that I really love my name, and the meaning behind it. My first name - Arpita - in Hindi is used in prayer and means "the action of giving flowers to God as an offering". I really like how closely it is related to not only my culture, but also the religion that my parents raised me in. When I got married, I did change my maiden name to my husband's name and I am now happily Arpita Monahan. My husband is of Irish Catholic descent, and his name is considered "very Irish". I really like that both of our names reflect us so strongly. After getting married I did convert to Catholicism, while still holding on to my Indian heritage and the belief that Hinduism is more of a way of life than a religion. In my mind, and the mind of the priest at our Church, being Hindu and Catholic were not mutually exclusive. I feel like my married name perfectly reflects this.

Sarah at Parenting God's Children

When we got married, I read a lot of stories about couples choosing their surnames in every possible manner: one takes the other, blending, coming up with a whole new one, etc. For me, I felt honored to take my husband's last name. I love his family and love being a part of it. I love when people call me Mrs. Moore! I must say, though, my maiden name was pretty awesome: King! Isn't that an awesome last name?!

Melissa @ Vibrant Wanderings

Prior to having children, I was a preschool teacher and saw all sorts of family name configurations. I loved the variety, and enjoyed it when parents would share their personal stories and reasoning behind the names they chose to use for their children. At the same time, I saw a lot of confusion around families where different members had different last names, and I had to giggle when I thought of James Sanders-Snow marrying Julie Mitchell-Evans. What would they come up with!? I decided way back then that I wanted a single last name for all of the members of my family, so I didn't give much thought to changing my last name to my husband's when we married.

Looking back now, I wish I had given the subject a bit more thought. There are so many options, and so many ways to honor the rich history, or the fresh start of a new family. James and Julie could come up with one, single last name if they wanted to, and it would be no big deal! The last name my family has is not only uncommon and therefore frustratingly difficult for others to spell, but it really isn't connected with much in the way of family history. It's Italian, but was Americanized at Ellis Island and only goes back a single generation genealogy-wise anyhow, since my husband's father was adopted. My husband doesn't feel particularly connected to it, and it has never felt like it really "fit" for me. I'm grateful that our children will have a number of options when they reach adulthood, and can choose a name (if they so desire) that they feel represents them and their families better than the name they were given at birth.

Helena

My husband and I both grew up without our fathers. We had their last names, but they weren't part of our lives until we established relationships with them as adults. As such, neither of us were inclined to hold onto our surnames when we married. The first thing I said to my husband was "My name is Helena. I'm thirty and I like dinosaurs." He was hooked, for some reason, although neither of us were looking for a partner. I guess you could say it was love at first sight. While we were engaged, we spent the better part of a year trying to figure out what our last name would be. He suggested a funny spelling of Saurus and I said no way. A month or two passed and he googled the spelling, and lo and behold, it was the word for the little pods of sporangium under fern fronds, and I love ferns nearly as much as I love dinosaurs. I think they're magical. This is how we ended up with our name, as goofy as it is. We are pretty goofy people, after all. Our children can change their last names and we won't be offended, but I think they may actually like it.

Shannon at The Artful Mama

When I got married I chose to take my husband's last name. All my life I had been teased about my own last name because it was similar to a popular candy name. I considered keeping my last name as my middle name but my middle name is that of my aunt and I thought it might hurt her feelings if I dropped the name and I did not want four legal names either. I often wish I had chosen to hyphenate my name or make the middle name switch because even though I was teased for that name I was proud of it. Both of our names were very short mine four letters and his five but in the end I decided simplicity and tradition was best for me.

Mandy @ Living Peacefully with Children

Before my husband and I were married, we had a long discussion about last names: if either of us would change our last name, which of us might, what the name would be, etc. In the end, I ended up changing my last name. I didn't have a great relationship with my father, so keeping the same last name held no appeal for me. It was important to my husband that we share our last name, so it seemed to make since at the time. A few years later, my husband wished that we had both changed our last names to something entirely new, as he found that he no longer wished to share a name with his parents. Since then, we have both found peace with the last name we have. In fact, we have embraced it. It fits us and holds no connection to his parents for us any longer. When our children were born, we opted to give them the same last name. Our children's middle names come from my mother's side of the family - various first and surnames which hold meaning and have connection through the generations.

Matthew Temple at clownfysh

My parents named me Matthew Van Temple. I always knew I was going to change my name. From an early age, I adjusted what people called me, insisting on "Matt" instead of "Matthew". When I was in my early twenties, I changed my name to Inhaesio Zha, leaving behind my old name. Zha was a spiritual name, what I was called by my group of friends—we all had special names that we called ourselves when we were together, to remind us that we saw each other differently than the world at large saw us. Zha was that name for me. It has a meaning, but I keep that between me and the people who were present at the time I changed my name to that. Inhaesio I chose because in Ohio, where I changed my name, you needed both a first and last name, so I picked the Latin version of an English word I liked: inhesion. Hence: Inhaesio Zha. In recent years, I've started using Matthew Temple as my writing name—my pseudonym. So I have the strange inversion of my real name being the name I made up, and my pseudonym being the name I was given. I love both names. Zha is a special nickname that people close to me use. Matthew is a name that reminds me of my childhood, and that's something I like more and more to be reminded of. Both suit me, and I use both. I like to play with names.

Olivia

When my parents got married my mom never changed her name. I was born and they weren't sure what to do. At the time my dad was thinking of dropping his last name and going by his first and middle. His middle name is Scott. I was born at home in my uncle's guest house. His name is Scott. So after a week of figuring out my first name they landed on Scott as a last name. Bonus story: my brother was born three years later. He was born in water on our back porch in Arizona. They chose Redlin for the red rocks and water. Neither of us have legal middle names. My dad never changed his last name. I am surprised by how few problems we've had with four different names. I love that we each have totally personal first and last names. I love telling the story. In the last few years I've thought of adding my mother's maiden name as a legal middle name but we'll see.

Premee

My mom is Hindu and my dad is Muslim (don't ask, we have no idea what happened there); we're from Guyana, South America, which is a country that the British stocked with slaves from India a long time ago. To the layman, I just look Indian. After 9/11, my friends teased me that my last name was either the first or last name of something like 16 out of 25 (!!) of the FBI's most wanted terrorists list, and they were going to turn me in for the reward. Real funny, guys. More recently I've used my last name to play in 'Draw Mohammed' (the Islamic prophet) day, by drawing a picture of myself. It's not that I object to my last name, exactly, just that it's full of little niggling things that annoy me. Like people spelling it wrong. Or people who barely know me asking me why I don't fast at Ramadan (Me: "Religion isn't hereditary, unlike last names!"). Or getting the side-eye and/or cavity search at airports. Or having to explain why my first name is Hindu and last name is clearly Muslim. Basically, if I ever get married, unless the guy's last name is Hitler or something, I'm definitely going to change it. Though I wonder, if 9/11 hadn't happened, whether I would feel the same way.

Mama LaMa

I have always had trouble with my names - my first name, my last name... then my potential 'married name' started creating the latest challenge. My first thought was, "No way am I taking on a man's surname! I'll keep my own, thank you very much!" But slowly some mushy voice from within started whispering that it would be nice to have something of his and make it 'ours' this way. I especially thought it would be good if we had kids, if all of us shared the same name. Here's the thing, though, my family name is La (with a tilda on it - but I can't get that to work, here). My husband's name is Ma. I knew for sure I wouldn't drop my family name - that is not done, in my culture. So I would become La Ma... hmm... Lama? In Portuguese, my native tongue, that means 'mud' - so my name would become mud. Well, okay, maybe I should drop my name and become just Ma... wait that means 'evil' in Portuguese. Bummer... so I talked it through with my soon-to-be hubby and we thought, f*ck it, we'll embrace the absurdity and become the La-Mas. The jokes rolled in. Friends suggested we should name our first kid Dalai and the second one Spittin. But I stuck to it. I changed my name and became Mrs La-Ma... I am still waiting for my hubby (of now 5 years!) to change his.

Laura at Authentic Parenting

My name "Schuerwegen" is a Flemish name (I am Belgian) composed of the words shuer and wegen; schuer komes from scheuren: to tear and wegen meant bread in old Dutch, so compiled it makes he (or she) who tears the bread.

Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots

I kept my given surname. My family thought it was a mistake. My dad, with whom I worked at the time, ordered me a company credit card with my husband's last name on it. It was waiting for me when I got back from my honeymoon. I never activated it. Then one day my wise and then 87-year-old grandmother said "you know Jennifer, I understand why you did not change your name. Yesterday somebody asked me what my maiden name is, and I had to stop and think. I could not remember."

Nearly ten years and two children later I have not changed it. I don't even think about it. My kids have two last names legally, but we use only my husband's for them. I am not offended when people call me Mrs. Husband's-last-name, but that is rare. Nobody in my circle calls me Mrs. Anything anyway. And I am sort of backwards. I choose to use my husband's last name professionally. My career choice (not blogging!) is public and reliant upon a nice sounding name combination- his last name sounds nice with mine, so it works out.

Patti @ Canadian Unschooler

My last name is the name of a tiny town in Germany, just over the border from The Netherlands. According to family lore, a French soldier in Napoleon's army had had enough of marching through Germany in the dead of winter. While passing through the town of Tinholt, he fled into The Netherlands (Holland), married a Dutch girl and changed his name to Tinholt. I'm not sure if the first Tinholt was a brave, peace loving man or a pathetic lazy wretch. Either way, I am proud of my Dutch heritage (which was originally French, I suppose)!

Do you have a name story you'd like to tell? Does the meaning or origin of your last name hold particular value to you? How did you decide on last names when it came to your children? Please share in the comments!

P.S. I know you're going to ask about when we're going to reveal our new surname: Look for it next week!

Week 17: Welcome, Sunshine!

2012-04-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

It's been unseasonably warm here lately, but the summery Spring weather has been really lovely, indeed!

Here are photo challenge days 109-115:

African daisy

Walking by a Portland attraction: Voodoo Doughnuts

This place is a little too much for me, Momma.

A sign of the weather change:
a healthy dose of knee scrapes

Something is very upsetting in here.
(That cup, by the way, is the "juice dog.")

Give D something that vibrates and lights up: it's over.

Happy day: a hoodie, a highlighter, and snacks!

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, at What's New at Vibrant Wanderings, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Dear Daniel, (On Leaving Your Birthplace)

2012-04-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hi, Love.

We've all been through a huge transition recently—perhaps the largest one we've been through since you emerged from your cozy, fluid womb environment into this bright, loud world. Papa, Matthew, you, and I have moved into a new house.

We were excited to make this move, and hopeful about the prospect of stability and consistency we would be afforded by owning a home. Like all transitions in life, there have been both happy and difficult things about making this change together. One thing I didn't anticipate fully is how strange it would feel to leave the place where you were born.

You see, Daniel, most babies these days (about 99% of those born in the United States) are born in places designed specifically for birth: labor and delivery rooms, birthing centers, and operating rooms. Mamas and families go to these places to birth their babies and then they come back home after a short stay there, spending a relatively brief amount of time in the rooms where their kiddos are born.

You, however, were born at home in an ordinary, everyday room: the second bedroom of our rented town home, in an inflatable tub filled with water. You were born in the room where you took your naps and where you slept at night after we stopped sharing a bed and (subsequently) a room together.

You nursed for the first time in that room while we were still attached to each other by a pulsing cord. You nursed for the very last time in that room one morning after you woke up calling out to me, "Momma!"

You were born in the room where Papa and I spent countless hours holding you, bouncing you, rocking you, singing to you, and (I) nursing you to help comfort you through your crying. It was in that room that we first realized that you might be dealing with serious sensory issues and that we needed to seek help.

You had spent the vast majority of your hours up until now in that home, and many of them in that very room where you took your first breaths and cried your first tiny cries. But the time came to say goodbye and move on together to a new place we now call home.

We went back to our old home right before we turned in our keys and Matthew took some photographs of our trio, together one last time in the spot where you were born. You had a sensory meltdown while we were trying to take the photos, and it reminded me of all the times I helped you through hours of crying and meltdowns in that room over the past (almost) two years. The experience that day solidified for me that this place was no longer our home, no longer a secure, comfortable place for you. Looking back on it now, I realize how incredibly appropriate your meltdown was in that moment. All the memories of that room flowed through me, and a couple of them leaked from my eyes.

And then we left.

You are already building new memories and experiences of this new house. I wonder if you'll remember this move as you get older. You had the language to describe it ("old house" and "new house," and also "move" and "home") so I wouldn't be surprised to have a conversation with you about it down the road. My family of origin moved from Texas to Pennsylvania when I was about your age, and I recall small tidbits about that transition, about the old house and the new house.

I look forward to the many years we'll have together in this home: the milestones, the mistakes, the laughs...even the tears. Your birthplace will always be special to Momma, and it's still close by, so we can visit sometimes.

We will ride our bikes there together someday and I will tell you the story of the morning you were born. Right there, in the room behind that big window up there. It was wide open with the curtains billowing, filling the room with the cool Spring breeze as the sun came up.

It was raining.
It was perfect.

Just like you.

Love,
Momma

Sunday Surf: Home Ownership & Earth Day

2012-04-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

We've made a few late-night trips to the hardware store.
This particular night there was a special on projectiles.

Happy Earth Day! I've been enjoying the sunshine and the warm air today. We even got the new clothesline hung up in the back yard, and it's full of fresh diapers right now. Lovely! What did you do to celebrate Earth Day?

We're starting to get more settled here in our new house, which feels really good. I'm not sure if you knew, but home ownership puts your "To Do" list on growth hormone, and the list instantly doubles or triples in size. It's really been fun though, to make plans for rooms, to put things in their new places, and see everything beginning to take shape.

I've been a bit preoccupied with all these new tasks, so I missed Sunday Surf last week. This week is a bit late, but I know you understand!

Tons of thanks to my fabulous guest bloggers from last week, Jorje of Momma Jorje, Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen, and Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama. Jorje helped me out for the Carnival of Natural Parenting by revealing a handy tool she uses to navigate bedtime routine to avoid struggling with her daughter. Gretchen wrote about how a book she used to read with her mom helps her to remember these days (as a mom of a little one with one on the way) how important it is to take time to care for herself. Charise shared a piece outlining a few of the many reasons why breastfeeding has been extremely convenient and helpful for her family. I hope you'll visit Jorje's blog, Gretchen's blog, and Charise's blog to show them each some love for helping me out during this transitional time!

Here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy – Purpose Fairy

Thanks to Amanda of Let's Take the Metro for sharing this one with me. I'm definitely working hard on several of these things!

Crying in Arms as it Relates to Attachment Parenting – the other baby book

I liked this description of Crying In Arms (CIA) and how it fits into the AP philosophy of parenting. My understanding of CIA is that it takes into account that sometimes we all just need to cry to process an emotion or experience, babies included. (Though it's not the "babies need to exercise their lungs" excuse, either.) What do you think about crying in arms?

The Most Scientific Birth Is Often the Least Technological Birth – Atlantic Mobile

Interesting distinction of Scientific v. Technological in this article. I chose an unmedicated, low-intervention birth for many of the reasons outlined in this article, and it was one of the most incredible experiences I've had to date!

The simplest way to say I love you – Mama Eve

I loved this post from Mama Eve, on the joy of being witness to our children's lives.

5 Types of Behavior that Should Ring an Alarm Bell – Authentic Parenting

This is one of those "read and file away in the back of your mind for when you (hopefully never) need to use it in the future" posts.

Sharing, Turn Taking, and Fairness: A Montessori Perspective – Vibrant Wanderings

I'm so late in sharing this one (sorry, Melissa!) but it's been open in my tabs for weeks. It's all about sharing, and I really appreciate the challenge to examine our own motivations behind wanting our children to share with each other. (For what it's worth, I don't expect Daniel to share with other kids, and if your kid comes over to my house, she doesn't have to share with him either.) I'd love us all to talk more about this!

On the selfishness of homeschooling: Myth busting – Hobo Mama

This was such an interesting read from Lauren at Hobo Mama. A couple of these myths are so ridiculous I literally laughed out loud when I read them! (I'm not saying I don't believe that people think these things, just that it seems so silly to me to be so blatantly presumptuous and judgmental of others' choices about schooling their kiddos.) Have you run into any of these judgments about the way you choose to teach your kiddos or the way you were schooled?

Six Words You Should Say Today – Hands Free Mama

Yes! Love this. Love.

Today was the fabulous Earth Day Carnival hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Monkey Butt Junction.

The carnival participants wrote about steps we take to live more eco-friendly, environmentally conscious lives. I wrote about how the city I live in (lovely Portland, Oregon) makes it so easy for me to be aware of my environmental impact and to then make changes and make better choices. I'm working my way through the rest of the posts now, and they've all been excellent so far! I've gotten several new ideas about things I'm going to try to make my footprint even smaller.

This week at Natural Parents Network:

What have you read lately that I shouldn't miss?

Viva Portlandia

2012-04-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Earth Day Blog Carnival!

This post is part of the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Monkey Butt Junction. Each participant has shared their practices and insights of earth friendly, environmentally conscious, eco-living. This carnival is our way to share positive information and inspiration that can create healing for our planet. Please read to the end of this post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Happy Earth Day!

We went for a family bike ride last evening. Jaymz was in front, Daniel and I were on my bike in the middle, and my brother Matthew brought up the rear. We bought new bikes for Jaymz and Matthew last week from a local shop that repairs and re-purposes old bicycle parts into "new" bikes for sale. Matthew got a fixed-gear bike, and Jaymz was lucky enough to find a frame tall enough for him, which the shop owner then built into a custom bike for him. How cool is that?!

In light of Earth Day, I got to thinking about all the ways this beautiful City of Roses makes it very easy (and appealing) for our family to be environmentally conscious.

Here are a few of my favorite eco-friendly things about Portland:

Bicycles

There are bike lanes on most streets here, and in the Summer it's not uncommon to see more bikes than cars lined up at a red light. Drivers here are pretty good at being aware of cyclists, since it's so common. There are many, many people who commute to work on bicycles every day. From our house, it takes the same amount of time to commute to work downtown whether you drive, ride the train, or pedal a bike (20 minutes), so there's no disincentive to choosing a "greener" option.

On the MAX with baby Daniel

Public Transportation

The MAX light rail, buses, and streetcars cut down on traffic and provide affordable (and reliable, very clean compared to other cities) transportation here. The trains here have enabled us to remain a single-car family, even as we've added new family members to our household. Jaymz commutes to work on the train during the week, and his monthly MAX pass costs less than ⅓ the average cost of paying to park a vehicle downtown.

Composting & Recycling

We have weekly city-wide pickup of yard debris and food scraps (and pizza boxes!) for composting, and the city recycles almost everything with a number on it. The garbage cans (ours is tiny compared to the other two bins) are only picked up every other week. I'm still getting used to this but so far, it's great! Our last home was one of five attached town homes, which is one more residence than the limit for public compost pick-up. Jaymz and I didn't let that stop us, though—we started a compost pile in the front, and within a couple of weeks, all our neighbors had asked if they could use it, too!

Some of my harvest from
last year's container garden

Gardening

It seems like most people have gardens here, which allows for lots of creative inspiration just walking around the neighborhood! Many people plant their whole front yards with vegetable and herb gardens (in lieu of grass), and it's very common for people to use the parking strip (the piece of grass between the sidewalk and the road) for growing vegetables in a raised bed, growing squash, or even planting a few rows of corn! I've been making the best of the limited space we've had by gardening in containers since we moved here. This year will be the first year of gardening with permanence in mind, which feels so good. I'm loving planning and planting things knowing that we won't have to leave all our hard work behind anytime soon.

Livestock

Though we don't have any, Portland residents are allowed up to three chickens, ducks, doves, pigeons, pygmy goats or rabbits without obtaining an animal facility permit to keep them. Beekeeping is also allowed, provided the bees are a certain distance from your house. Many of my friends have chickens, and one of our new neighbors (with whom we share a fence) has some. We've agreed to cut a small chicken gate in our fence, so we can share our yard with their chickens. This will provide them with more room to run around, and it lets us have yard clean-up and fertilization services whenever we want.

Cloth Diapering

It is quite common to use cloth diapers here. There are plenty of great local diaper stores (my favorite one in Portland is Milagros), and at least one prefold diaper service I know of (Tidee Didee), which we used for Daniel's first three months. The commonality of cloth diapering means that there are more quality used diapers available locally, which cuts down on manufacturing and shipping costs if you're buying used. Another bonus is that when a friend or neighbor takes care of your child, they probably already know how to change a cloth diaper!

Farmers' Markets

There are markets open all over the city every day of the week during the Summer, and nearly year-round in some places. There's no shortage of local, organic, gorgeous food to peruse and consume here. There are usually at least two different tents at our favorite local market run by gluten-free bakeries, which is such a special treat for me. I can't even tell you how much I enjoy walking around the market, spending money on local produce.

NIPing at the farmers' market

Breastfeeding

It's common for mothers to breastfeed and also to see public breastfeeding here, which helps future mothers to feel more comfortable with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is such a cheap and eco-friendly way to feed our babies!

Freecycle

This is not unique to Portland, but I just love Freecycle. It's a great way to get rid of things that you can't/won't use anymore and give them to someone who will. Likewise, sometimes something pops up on there that I think, "Hey, I've been wanting one of those." and sometimes I'm lucky enough to get it for free! Freecycle cuts out the middle-man of a thrift store, and no one profits (monetarily) from the exchange. It keeps useable items out of landfills. I've gotten incredible things from Freecycle, including a glider rocking chair and many great plants.

Even though there are ways that living in this city makes thinking of the environment a no-brainer, it was no accident that Jaymz and I decided to live here. I have no qualms admitting that it is in my nature to be pretty crunchy, and living here has encouraged that side of me to flourish and grow.

Here are some ways I strive to go above and beyond the eco-convenience of this green town:

Personal Hygiene

I'm choosing gentler body products, utilizing the Cosmetics Database to check products for environmental friendliness before I purchase them. My most recent favorite discovery in the soap department is a locally-made shampoo bar. These bars require little to no packaging, and they're compact for storage in my (tiny) bathroom. Aside from that, they're made from natural ingredients and they're extremely gentle on my hair.
I use family cloth. Yep—I admit it—I've made the leap over into what some consider extreme crunchiness by using cloth wipes in place of toilet paper. Honestly, once you get past the initial "Yuck!" thought of it, family cloth is really not that big of a deal. After cloth diapering Daniel for almost two years now, it seems only logical that I'd be thinking about my own consumption of paper products with respect to my bathroom habits. Just like with Daniel, I use family cloth only with pee, and it's not at all gross like you might think. In fact, in a lot of ways it's actually less gross than toilet paper: cloth is softer, there aren't bits of paper left behind (so to speak), and it leaves me cleaner than paper products. Here are some great reasons to use less toilet paper, and here's a helpful tutorial on how to make your own family cloth.
While we're in the TMI zone, I might as well admit also that I use reusable menstrual products. I cannot say enough about the difference between a menstrual cup and a bleached tampon, or a cloth pad and one made of plastic (but that's a post for another day). If you're interested, though, Lauren wrote an incredible piece at Natural Parents Network highlighting the reasons to switch to reusable products and also outlining the (many!) different types of products out there if you're interested in exploring your options. I highly recommend it!
I shower less than I used to, but I promise I'm not a dirty hippie (yet). Just a few years ago when I worked night shift at the hospital, I was showering twice a day on work days. Now, I shower every other day which is gentler on my skin and hair, while also saving water.

Grocery Shopping

I do my best to buy things in bulk, which cuts down on packaging (since I use reusable containers) as well as trips to the grocery store. Some of the things I regularly buy in bulk include Dr. Bronner's liquid soap, hand soap, grains, and nuts. I also belong to a bulk foods delivery co-op, which enables me to purchase organic, wholesome foods while cutting back on the transportation costs of shipping to individual grocery stores.
I use reusable grocery bags and produce bags, which is fairly common these days. (I even make reusable shopping bags, which are available for sale in my shop.) The city of Portland recently eliminated single-use plastic bags from stores, so the choices here are either recyclable paper or (bring your own) cloth.
I do my best to walk or bike to the grocery, even if it means I have to take my folding metal grandma cart and embarrass Jaymz. We've been doing more walking and biking grocery outings as the weather has been getting warmer.

Laundry

We have High-Efficiency machines (both washer and dryer) in our home. We were lucky enough to have HE machines in the last place we lived (where we were renting) as well, so I even got used to washing cloth diapers in this low-water environment.
I use a clothesline for many things (including diapers) instead of using the dryer as much. At our last place, we didn't have a yard, but Jaymz rigged up this ingenious vertical clothesline on the posts by our front door. Fortunately, our rental company didn't have any rules against this kind of thing, though I know that can be an issue in some places. We recently bought a new clothesline to put up in our back yard, which will hopefully get installed today!
I use wool dryer balls in my dryer when I do use it, which cuts down on drying time and naturally softens our clothes without adding any artificial chemicals or creating more waste (in the form of dryer sheets). Since wool is biodegradable, I can (theoretically) compost my dryer balls someday...if they ever wear out.

Sharing in Nature with Daniel

Perhaps the most important thing I do to better the environment is to foster a love of nature and the outdoors in my child. We make an effort (more and more each day) to get outside often, to have few rules, "no"s, or time limits, and to enjoy ourselves fully.

Daniel also participates in our family's ecologically conscious lifestyle habits. Whether he's putting a banana peel in the compost bin, helping us work outside in the yard, throwing a piece of used paper into the recycle bag, or riding to his OT appointment on my bicycle, he's learning that these things are a normal part of the way we live life. They're all ways we make a conscious effort to show our respect to the Earth.

Even if our back yard looks like this, Daniel still gets
most excited when we get to go "ide!" (outside).

While we were riding our bikes together last night, I was talking with Daniel about all the things we were seeing and experiencing on our ride as he excitedly pointed at the things he saw and shouted out their words.

"[Gr]ass! ... Bird! ... Ow-ow! (flower) ... Bike! ... Rain!" (Though it wasn't raining, I explained that he was feeling wind on his face.)

"Weh-dee! (windy) ... Sun...[l]ight!"

... "Gog! Gog!" (dog)

As Daniel cheered me on with a "Go-go-go!" on the final climb up the hill to our house, I realized we must be doing something right: raising him here in this place, in this way.

Thank you for stopping by the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival! Please relax and take time to read these other great eco-living posts:

You are a Child of the Earth - Using the Earth as their classroom, Patti from Canadian Unschool teaches her 4 children their spiritual connection to the Earth and she accepts that loving the Earth can get really, really messy.
Cutting Out Paper - Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how she went from curiosity and concern to actually cutting out the use of paper towels in her household. She is proud to be "greener" as each Earth Day passes.
The World is Brown - Debra Ann Elliot of Words are Timeless believes in keeping the Earth green, but because so many people inhabit the Earth it is turning brown because people aren't doing their part by reducing, reusing, and recycling.
7 Child And Eco Friendly Activities To Honor The Earth (Plus Some Environmental Books For Kids) - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her favorite books that help children become more aware of the importance of respecting and caring for Mother Earth. In addition, she hosts a guest post outlining seven child and eco friendly activities to honor the earth.
5 Ways We Teach Our Children To Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle - Valarie at Momma In Progress shares a few tips for encouraging young children to care for the earth.
Little Changes - Big Results - Meegs at A New Day talks about how sometimes it’s the little decisions and changes that can lead us to find big results, and how she's baby-stepping her way to a more environmentally conscious lifestyle.
Inspiring the Next Generation - aNonyMous at at Radical Ramblings hopes to inspire her daughter to live a green and sustainable lifestyle, in the same way she was inspired by her high-school science teacher, and talks about the changes her family are making towards this vision.
Eco-Friendly Cleansers: Safe For the Environment, Healthy For Every Body - Rebekah at Liberated Family writes about safe and natural alternatives to toxic, household cleaning products..
Lightening My Footprint with Cloth Nappies (Diapers) - Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the biggest eco-choice she has made so far, and why she is so passionate about it.
Clutter Free for a Cause - At Living Peacefully with Children Mandy's penchant for decluttering and simple living cuts down on consumerism, taking less of a tole on the Earth.
Eco-Parenting: Homemade Bug Spray - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares a homemade bug spray recipe that helps her family to enjoy the natural world while taking precautions against bug bites.
Let the Scales Fall From My Eyes...Just Not Too Quickly - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about the discomfort of no longer being able to live in denial over how her choices affect the world around her.
Fostering Love of Earth - Justine at The Lone Home Ranger instills a love of nature in her daughters by embarking on their first backyard vegetable garden together.
Being in Nature - Carrie at Love Notes Mama knows that just being in nature is more than enough.
5 Ways to Pass Down Environmental Values to Your Children - Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares how easy it can be to instill environmental values in your children.
Viva Portlandia - Amy at Anktangle writes about the place she lives and loves in: Portland, Oregon. She describes the ways this green city makes it easy for her family to take care of our earth, and also the steps she's taking to further lessen her family's environmental impact.
Conspicuous Conservationism - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction examines the phenomenon of eco-conscious behavior as a status symbol.
Time for Radical Sustainability - Terri at Child of the Nature Isle ponders how she can model a truly sustainable lifestyle for her children and raise them in a way that their environmental consciousness is as natural as breathing!

A big thank you to all of the 2012 Earth Day Blog Carnival participants!

Week 16: Transition Time

2012-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Better late than never, right? =)

Days 102-108:

"Aaave!"

Moving Day!
The movers lost our reservation, but a few of Jaymz's
friends from work came over on very short notice
to help move all of our boxes. Thanks again, everyone!

Wholesome diner breakfast

"Momma? Eeen!"

Mowing (for the first time)

Sunset from the front yard

One of Daniel's favorite activities: making "foffee!"

Linked up at Wordless Wednesday at Hobo Mama and Natural Parents Network, and with the other lovely Mamatography project participants at Diary of a First Child!

Monday Morning Movie: A Song by Daniel

2012-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

We have a new morning ritual around here lately, which I love!

Breastfeeding: The Ultimate Convenience

2012-04-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

When Daniel was still nursing, especially when he was a younger baby and he was nursing quite frequently, I often was grateful for the ways that breastfeeding was simple and easy: no preparing bottles with a fussy baby in arms, no extra expense (besides food for me), nothing extra to clean and sterilize, and Daniel's meals were always warm and ready whenever he was!

I'm happy to host today's guest post from Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama, about just a few of the many ways in which breastfeeding has been incredibly convenient in her life. Please read to the bottom to learn more about today's guest blogger.

Most of us have heard about the many benefits of breastfeeding, and although my decision to breastfeed my son was based upon reasons like breastmilk being the ultimate food for babies, I have to admit that reasons of convenience now play a big role in why I am continuing to breastfeed Baby at 13 months with no end in sight.

These are the 5 reasons why I don't want to give up the convenience of breastfeeding:

1. Breastfeeding makes air travel so much easier!
Baby completed his third round trip flight this Tuesday, and as we were landing, I told my husband that I would breastfeed Baby forever just to reap the benefits of nursing while flying. Baby has now flown from Massachusetts to North Carolina, California, and Colorado (and visited 10 states!) and he has been downright awesome on each flight, thanks to nursing. The pressure of takeoff and landing has never bothered his ears as I nurse him on the way up and down, and he has slept for at least 2 hours on each flight thanks to the relaxing effects of nursing combined with the white noise and movement of the plane.

2. I have never passed my germs on to Baby.
I love that I never have to worry about getting Baby sick. No matter what kind of illness I have had in the past 13 months, Baby has never caught it thanks to receiving the antibodies to those illnesses through my breastmilk. When I'm feeling sick, the last thing I feel capable of is caring for a sick baby, and thanks to breastfeeding, that has never happened.

Thanks to breastfeeding,
we can travel very lightly when hiking.

3. I never have to worry about a diminished appetite.
No matter how diminished Baby's appetite may be due to illness or travel or teething, I never have to worry about Baby not getting enough nutrition or calories. There is nothing that keeps Baby from wanting to nurse, so although there have been times when Baby didn't want to eat much table food, I have the convenience of knowing he is still getting everything he needs from breastmilk.

4. I have built in immediate and automatic comfort for Baby.
Baby has been in the stage of learning to be mobile in various ways for quite some time. This means he experiences lots of falls, tumbles, bumps, and bruises. Although he has never done anything serious like breaking a bone (Thank God!), no matter how hard he cries in response to a little accident, I can always calm him immediately by nursing him. He feels safe, secure, and placated with seconds, and I love that.

5. No matter where we are and what I have packed - or forgotten to pack - in the diaper bag, I always have food and drink for Baby.
We could be at church, hiking a mountain, or on a longer walk than anticipated. Regardless of where we are, as long as I'm with Baby, I know he has access to quick and easy food and drink.

If you consider breastfeeding to be convenient, how has it helped you and your little one?

About today's guest blogger, Charise:

Charise Rohm Nulsen is the proud mama of one, with another on the way. Charise blogs at I Thought I Knew Mama - a window into the adventures of stay at home mamahood, natural parenting, and green and healthy living. She is also a regular contributor at Natural Parents Network and a freelance writer who loves spending her days mothering and writing.

This post has been edited from a previous version, originally published at I Thought I Knew Mama.

Anktangle

Mom, I am.

Sunday Surf: Contentment and Mothering

Recently at Natural Parents Network:

Happy Birthday, Jaymz!

Week 21: Miscellaneous

Celebrating Weaning

Here's what you need to make your own celebrating weaning (or any other life event) photo book:

Here's how:

Giveaway: Moonrise Lullaby Celtic Harp CD (10 Copies!) $20 ARV {6/9; Worldwide}

My thoughts and experiences:

Buy it!

Win it!

Week 20: Fasting & Food

Making Less Trash

Sunday Surf: Happy Mother's Day!

This week at Natural Parents Network:

Photo Challenge Week 19: Grass & Garden

Yearning for Tribal Times

(The Big Reveal)

Photo Challenge Week 18: Newness

Anktangle Creations Giveaway: Baby Leggings!

Dear Daniel, (On Discipline and Love)

Sunday Surf: Weeds and Poetry

This week at Natural Parents Network:

Giveaway: Poetry of a Hobo Mama Parenting Poetry — $12 ARV — 2 WINNERS! {5.14; Worldwide}

About the book

My review

About the author

BUY IT!

WIN IT!

Contest closes May 14 at 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time.

Surname Stories

Week 17: Welcome, Sunshine!

Dear Daniel, (On Leaving Your Birthplace)

Sunday Surf: Home Ownership & Earth Day

This week at Natural Parents Network:

Viva Portlandia

Bicycles

Public Transportation

Composting & Recycling

Some of my harvest from last year's container garden Gardening

Livestock

Cloth Diapering

Farmers' Markets

Breastfeeding

Freecycle

Personal Hygiene

Grocery Shopping

Laundry

Sharing in Nature with Daniel

Week 16: Transition Time

Monday Morning Movie: A Song by Daniel

Breastfeeding: The Ultimate Convenience

Some of my harvest from
last year's container garden

Gardening