Anna & Essie

Family Backyard & Patio Entertaining

2012-05-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year when everyone's about to start getting together those backyard barbecues and entertaining outdoors. When you plan your gathering with family and friends, here are some unique and different products that will help make your get together even better.

The Drink-N-Plate. For those more casual outdoor events, you often find yourself standing around with a drink in one hand and a plate in the other. You need one hand free to eat. The drink-n-plate allows you to hold both your plate and cup in one hand conveniently and easily. It's dishwasher safe and perfect for all outdoor settings. You can even get your business or team logo printed right on it. Get a set of 8 for $24

The Little Griddle offers several different grill top griddles like this Griddle-Q. Outdoor cooking is not limited to hamburgers and hotdogs any longer. You could make anything that you could make indoors! Why not have a pancake breakfast outdoors just for the fun of it? Clean up is super easy right on the grill...no need to take it indoors. Prices range from $69.99 to $449.99 depending on the size you need.

Instead of plastic place cards that may blow away in the wind, try the elegant and stylish Place Tiles. Place tiles can be written on and erased with a dry erase marker and can be dressed up for the occasion with interchangeable magnets. More than a place tile, you can also use them as a descriptive food labels (is that a sweet potato or squash casserole?). You can get a set of six for for $35-$45.

The ThermaCELL Patio Lantern is the best option for keeping mosquitoes and other insects away. The Patio Lantern is both a powerful insect repellent device and a stylish outdoor lantern, with both functions being usable separately or together. Providing a 15x15 ft mosquito-free zone, it is 98% effective (tested and used by the Department of Defense and the United States Army), making it the most effective insect repellent device on the market. It is also non-toxic, safe and non-intrusive, being DEET-free, silent, portable and odor free. Retails for $29.99

Rolf Glass is the only line of affordable cut and etched/engraved glass made in North America. Combining state of the art robotics with the traditional craft of glass cutting and engraving, Rolf Glass is able to produce pieces of even higher quality and workmanship than the custom work of glass artisans at the same price as low-quality overseas manufacturers.

Pregnancy Crisis Center Tuscaloosa

2012-05-24T12:24:00.003-04:00

I can only imagine how it would feel to suddenly find yourself pregnant in a time where you felt like you didn't know what you were going to do. There was a time in my life that I would have been in this situation, but nature took its course and I miscarried the baby before I even knew I was pregnant. Why would I share such personal information on a public blog? Because I would want you to know that if you are in this spot in your life, I understand and I don't judge you. I would want you to go to a pregnancy crisis center and get help.

For those that live in the Tuscaloosa, AL area, that center is Sav-A-Life of Tuscaloosa. Sav-A-Life will provide a free pregnancy test and Christian counseling to any and every woman who walks through the doors needing help. I know when you read the words "Christian counseling" you may feel like you would be preached to, judged, or chastised for finding yourself in the situation you are in. That's just not the case. The grace of our Lord Jesus is so great and so merciful; and, the volunteers and ministers at Sav-A-Life just want to help you show you His love in this time where you need it so desperately.

At this point you may be thinking about aborting. Sav-A-Life wants to help you understand that there are other options. They have five ultrasound technicians who volunteer when needed to offer you an ultrasound. They will help you understand the loving option of adoption and debunk the myths surrounding the idea of adoption. Before you make any critical decision either way, you have to know you'd feel better talking about it with someone who can help you understand and not judge you.

Another great way Sav-A-Life helps support women facing a pregnancy crisis is the diaper bag ministry. Women who decide to have their babies get a diaper bag full of baby items that can help get them started when their little surprise package enters the world.

As you can see this is an AMAZING and desperately needed ministry. If you've found yourself in this situation before or you know someone that is or has been in this situation, you may be reading this thinking you'd like to know more or how you could help. That's good, I was hoping you'd say that! With over 500 women already receiving help from Sav-A-Life pregnancy test center in Tuscaloosa this year, you can see they need help and volunteers for this crucial and vital ministry.

There are lots of ways you can get involved.

1. Volunteer. Now don't let this word scare you. So many people think if they volunteer for something they're going to be constantly swamped and overloaded with work to do that they won't get paid for. You can volunteer as little as 4 hours per month and make a HUGE difference. Plus, you don't just show up and not know what to do...they will train you. How often have you thought to yourself you wish you had money to give to a cause you care about but just don't have it to give? Well, you may not have money but you can give your time, and it's just a precious.

There will be a volunteer training class on June 16th from 10-4. Registration is open now. To register either call the office at (205)759-5433 or you can send an email to Jennifer@pregnancytestcenter.org.

2. Donate.

I. The diaper bag ministry needs donations.You can even throw a charity baby shower with the list of items that go in these diaper bags and donate them to the center.

II. There is an upcoming abstinence program looking for fundraisers to be able to get it off the ground. If this is a passion of your heart you can help get this program up and running with donations and fundraisers.

III. Get the Choose Life car tag. When you go to renew your car tag you can get it for $50 and write it off on your taxes. You can get it personalized at no extra charge and $41.50 of the money goes straight to Sav-A-Life. We should all be rolling around town with these!

IV. Donate to the office. The Sav-A-Life office has a need for a desk, two laptops, and a desk top computer.

V. Go to the annual banquet! The annual banquet will be coming up in November and will be catered by Robertson's BBQ. (yum!) Sav-A-Life is looking for table hosts to sponsor a table of eight. They're still working on the keynote speaker but it's going to be a fun night regardless. You have plenty of time to ask around and see which of your friends would love a night out to socialize and have a blast. If you would like to be a table host please call Jennifer at (205)-759-5433 or email her at Jennifer@pregnancytestcenter.org

VI. Send in a check or make a donation online. You can mail your check to:
Sav-A-Life of Tuscaloosa

225 University Blvd. E Ste. 103
Tuscaloosa, Al 35401

3. Pray. Prayer is so vital and so important. In the words of executive director, Carrie Eckhardt: "We need as much prayer as we can get. We are working on the front lines and we are faced with so much pain, anger, and self-destruction. Please pray for our volunteers, office staff and director. Pray for every girl that walks into the doors of Sav-A-Life that their hearts be softened and their ears be open to what we have to say. Please pray for every family that is represented in this clinic."

This is something we ALL can do!

Whether you need the services at Sav-A-Life or just want to help by praying and/or donating I hope this post has stirred your heart and gotten you to thinking today about this ministry. If you'd like to contact Sav-A-Life you can call (205) 759-5433 or visit the website at http://www.pregnancytestcenter.org

eFoods Review Coming Up!

2012-05-23T17:24:00.000-04:00

I was excited today to get my samples from eFoods to try and review. eFoods Direct carries pre-packaged foods where you just add water, simmer, and serve. I know this would have come in really handy for my family last year when the April 27th tornado ripped through Tuscaloosa leaving the roads blocked for a few days. Many people had generators that would allow them to heat up water for food...but they didn't have the food to heat up.

Food security is what it's all about, and eFoods offers a wide variety of food choices to keep in storage for your major or minor food emergency. But how does it taste? Well, I'm about to find out! I'll let you know when I try it. I get to sample creamy potato soup, tortilla soup, and cheesy chicken rice casserole. Check back for the update, and if you've tried eFoods let me know what you think!

Looking For Realtors in Tuscaloosa?

2012-05-23T10:03:00.002-04:00

Tuscaloosa Realtors

If you're looking for realtors in Tuscaloosa you should really get in touch with my pal Tim Burns. The devastating tornado that left much of our hometown in ruins on April 27, 2011 has left locals and newcomers with a need for a great, dependable realtor. I've known Tim for a very long time. He was born and raised in Tuscaloosa so he knows the area well. With a wife and two daughters (and a dog!) he knows how important family is and how much it means to have the right home for your loved ones. I know he would work hard to help you get what you want in the time that you want and need it.

In this day and age where it's always helpful to know somebody that knows somebody, I just wanted to give my friend a shout out here on the blog. Tim's always been a great honest guy and I know that if you needed a realtor you wouldn't find anyone better. You can visit Tim's webpage where you can view new listings and do a search for the home you might be looking for.

So go check it out! Then give my friend Tim a call or email. All his info is posted right there on his page.

Guilt Vs. Rest

2012-05-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

I am so tired. SO TIRED. I feel like I am run out, run over, run down...you name it. I'm feeling guilty because in a couple of weeks the girls are suppose to go on their first "long" visit with their dad and a part of me can't wait. I mean, I've had breaks before, but they were short. This is suppose to be a six week summer visit. (We'll see if that actually happens.) Now when I first heard six weeks I freaked. WHAT? Six weeks? Without my girls? No way. But I chose to divorce, and I chose to move away, and I chose to sign the papers that said if I was going to move away they'd have six weeks of visitation in the summer. I just thought the six weeks would be broken up and not all at one time.

It's weird because I feel like there is a war within myself to be appalled that their father would think six weeks away from their mother at one time is really best for them, and the other half of me daydreams of days alone with no responsibility and no one to answer to....for a while. I feel like I need the time to rejuvinate and get prepared for this next long stretch coming up of it all being on me. The physical and emotional demands of having both a special needs child and a rip roaring toddler. I keep wanting to come home and go to bed early. I just feel exhausted all the time.

Where does a mom find the peace in that? We want the rest, but we don't want to be away from our kids. I know the one whose peace passes all understanding, yes. But I start to get annoyed when people say "God is the answer" to everything. Believe me when I say I KNOW God IS the answer to EVERYTHING! I know He is! But these feelings have to be dealt with, sorted through, and figured out. With God of course. But, there's not a magic "ping" where you just go...okay all better! You know? I need some rest. I need my girls. I need some rest. I need my girls. I need some rest.

Publix Running Out Run In Event

2012-05-18T17:31:00.000-04:00

I just LOVE Publix, especially when it comes to saving money. With sales and coupons you can really get some great deals to feed your family on a budget. Often times they have a great promotional event for certain brands of food to help you save even more!

From May 17th through May 23rd, look for the “Running Out? Run In.”event at your local Publix store and “run in,” to take advantage of the great savings available on some of your favorite brands from General Mills and Procter & Gamble, including Cheerios, Totino's, Charmin, and Crest. Also, don’t forget to look in-stores for over $15 in coupon savings – coupons are valid May 9th through June 2nd. You will receive a $5 Publix® gift card to use on your next shopping trip when you purchase $30 or more in participating items during the event (5/17 – 5/23); simply mail in the rebate form found in-store or online at runningoutrunin.com along with your original receipt(s). Visit http://bit.ly/RunningOutRunIn to find out more about this amazing rebate.

I received a $25 Publix gift card for the running out run in event and gave one to a family member! The Publix gift card, information, and additional gift pack have been provided by General Mills through MyBlogSpark. I'm going to see how far I can make it go with the sales, coupons, and rebate! I bet I can get more than $25 out of it. If you're a super diva couponer...let me know what sales and deals you see. And head over to your local Publix for the running out, run in event!

Cookie Coo Dancing Star Giveaway - Win a $200 Amazon Gift Card!

2012-05-18T07:05:00.000-04:00

The CookieCoo Dancing Star app lets kids play along with their favorite traditional children’s songs, like “Hokey Pokey,” while watching a whimsical 3D cookie character dance and sing with the music. CookieCoo Dancing Star is a perfect combination of fun and learning—it’s a game parents can feel good about letting their kids play, because they’ll be learning and practicing important concepts while they enjoy themselves.

Download CookieCoo Dancing Star for FREE from May 18 - 31 here:

iPad download | iPhone download

To celebrate, CookieCoo Dancing Star will be giving away a $200 Amazon Gift Card to one lucky reader! Giveaway is open worldwide and ends May 31st at 11:59 PM EST.

CookieCoo is also giving away an additional $100 on their Facebook Fanpage. Visit for more information!

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Win a FREE Box of Cereal-Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal

2012-05-15T11:49:00.002-04:00

I'm giving away five free coupons for the new Honey Bunches of Oats cereal!!! I recently had a chance to try this new improved version with more granola bunches and I loved it so much I ate the entire box by myself. (Over a couple of days of course!). I had the honey roasted version. I used to only would eat the kind with almonds because it tasted sweeter and had more crunch. At this point you guys are lucky I'm giving these coupons away because believe me when I say I'd love to use them for myself. What's different? Well, the honey roasted version used to taste more like plain corn flakes to me with a crunchy bite here and there. It wasn't as sweet, and as I said I would normally choose only the almond. Now, it's like the perfect blend of flakes and bunches and a little sweeter but not too sweet. YUM!

Besides keeping down the rumbly in your tumbly, it packs a whole grain punch with 10 grams of whole grain and yet only 6 grams of sugar per serving. A competitor cereal, Honey Nut Cheerios, has nine grams of sugar per serving.

Want to know more about Honey Bunches of Oats? Head over to their Facebook Page. You might want to hit like while you're there because that's going to be an entry option to win one of the five coupons I'm giving away for a FREE box. This giveaway is run by RAFFLECOPTER (check below). It's really easy to use, and you don't have to complete every option to enter. Just choose the ones you want. You're more than welcome to leave a comment but that is not an entry. Good luck!

Post provided a free sample of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal for this review. All opinons expressed are my own.

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May Extreme Cash Giveaway!!!

2012-05-14T18:23:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the May Extreme Cash Giveaway! Anna & Essie has teamed up with over 80 awesome blogs to bring you the chance to win $400 cash! This giveaway runs for a whole month, so don’t worry if you don’t have time to do all the entries at once. And don’t forget there are daily entries as well so come back every day to rack up all the entries you can.

Giveaway is open worldwide and ends June 10th at 11:59 PM EST. Good luck!

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Ordering Prescription Glasses Online

2012-05-11T21:44:00.002-04:00

Do you wear glasses? I don't but I have a fake pair because I think they look good on me. Ha! Okay, well they're not really "fake" so much as they are for protecting my eyes from the glare of the computer screen, but I don't need them to see. If you do need glasses to see, you may not know that you can order your prescription eyeglasses online. I know what you're thinking...how would you try them on, right? GlassesUSA.com has this really super cool virtual mirror that you can use to actually see online what eyeglasses look good on you! You just upload a photo of yourself that shows your face straight on and eyes leveled, use your webcam, or choose from photos they already have of a person that that most similarly resembles your face shape. You can try it out right now!

See? You can actually shop for your prescription glasses online! I think that's so cool. GlassesUSA.com carries eyeglasses, sunglasses, and multifocal glasses for men and women. As is true with most online stores, you'll find a much larger selection than you will if you actually get out and drive to a brick and mortar store. Plus, they offer free shipping on all US orders! That's worth staying home for. I'd almost always prefer to shop online if the shipping is free than actually getting out. Of course that may be because I have to get three people ready when I go out (me and my two girlies) and shopping online saves me the hassle.

Now the part you want to know the most...or at least the part I'd want to know the most. Can you get a good deal? Well, besides the fact that they offer a 110% lowest price guarantee (and a 100% satisfaction guarantee!) you can get 50% off any pair of prescription basic single-vision eyeglasses or sunglasses frames with the code: SPRING50FS.

You can also get 10% off of any prescription glasses order with the code: blog10

So go ahead...go shopping. I know you're going to spend a long time on that virtual mirror. I would! Have a great day and send me a pic in your new glasses.

Like Pulling Teeth

2012-05-09T17:55:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I was reminded of why the phrase "like pulling teeth" is associated with something that's a difficult task. It's even more difficult when you have an anxious child that doesn't respond well to a dentist. When my sweet sister's children had loose teeth and she couldn't do a basic "string and door" trick or have them bite into something to get the tooth out, she'd just take them to the dentist to have them extracted. Easy enough, right? Many dentists (even pediatric dentists) don't work with special needs children or they have to put them under anesthesia for the smallest thing...like pulling a tooth. Now don't get me wrong. I know Anna will need some professional dental work and I know anesthesia will be necessary. But for pulling teeth? I can't have her knocked out for every little thing. Since she's more comfortable with me than anyone else, the unpleasant task goes to mom.

If you have a child with a super loose tooth and it really needs to be pulled to allow room for the new ones (most of the time which are already starting to come in!) just know you're not alone. What I do is talk to her first and tell her that I know it's not pleasant but we have to do it. There's no way around it. Then I wiggle her tooth, and wiggle it, and wiggle it. If there's room you need to try to twist it. I know this sounds horrible and it is! But it's the only way it's going to come out and it's GOT to. So pull and twist, wiggle and jiggle. Depending on how loose the tooth is, it will come on out within five to ten minutes of all that. Have a paper towel ready for your child to bite down on because it's gonna bleed. YUCK! Then hug your child profusely and tell them it's all over and it's okay. I have to remind her every two seconds not to bite me. She's not being spiteful she just is uncomfortable and wants to clamp down. It's not fun. It's quite unpleasant, but you know what? We have done it at least five times now and it works. Now when people describe a difficult task as "like pulling teeth" I think...oh yeah....that's about right.

Bloggers- Sign Up For the Extreme Cash Giveaway!

2012-05-03T21:15:00.004-04:00

Bloggers, are you looking for new followers, more readers, better page ranking and more? Come see why the Extreme Cash Giveaway is one of the most popular monthly giveaways and watch your numbers go up! Cost is only $3 for first link and $2 for each additional link.

Sign up for the Extreme Cash Giveaway here and be sure to say that Anna & Essie referred you!

Chasing the Cyclone- Insights From the Author

2012-05-03T17:39:00.003-04:00

For every parent, the thought of having your child internationally abducted and disappear somewhere on the other side of the world is one of our greatest nightmares. The thought of having an innocent child kidnapped is so severe that realistically nobody really wants to talk about or read about it. However, there is a serious problem: we have a pandemic of international parental child kidnappings occurring that are crippling targeted families of abduction.

Sadly, there exists a growing pandemic known as international parental child abduction, and it is destroying the lives of tens of thousands of families each year. In fact, recent studies estimate that as many as 125,000 American children, 20,000 Canadian children, and a total of 200,000 defenseless children living in North America will be internationally, criminally abducted by one parent from another in contradiction to court orders over the next decade. Alarmingly, only 10% of children abducted or illegally detained abroad will ever come home.

Now imagine that you are 1 of the 200,000 parents living in North America who over the next decade who will have your child disappear in a world of over 7 Billion people.

Before you allow your mind to think about solutions, let me stop you right there and say that whatever you think you’re going to do that may bring your child home will not be as effective as you think. I expand upon this later on.

Incidentally, the wrongful removal of a child from the country or illegal detention of a child in a foreign nation in contradiction of a court's order is the criminal act of international parental child abduction as stated in the federal 'International Parental Kidnapping Crimes Act'. Each state has its own criminal statutes concerning this act, which has been widely proclaimed by law enforcement and leading child therapists as child abuse.

My good friend, Ann Marques, who is a highly trained and skilled family law attorney and fierce child advocate who practices family law in New York State and who was formerly trial litigator for New York’s Administration of Children’s Services and who presently serves as a Special Advisor to the I CARE Foundation Board of Directors provided insight on IPCA by stating, “International Parental Child Abduction is a malicious, cruel, and inhumane act perpetrated by the ‘taking parent’ to sever the relationship between the ‘left behind’ parent and the child. The abductor uses the child as a pawn in a vengeful manner, and such an act is a form of child neglect.”

To give you an idea of the magnitude of the size of this problem, think about 200,000 children – that’s the equivalent of the entire populations of Richmond, Virginia or Irvine, California or Spokane, Washington populated solely with innocent children - disappearing. Gone. Lost forever.

You may be thinking to yourself, well if it is a crime, then I will file a complaint with law enforcement and the police will go and get my child. Well, you surely are entitled and you should file a police report, but realistically if you think that your child is going to be brought home from another country because of a law enforcement action in your home state and country, you better think again. Truth is that the vast majority of nations will not uphold a pick-up order for parental abduction because of jurisdictional laws in their own country. Which means an action in the United States will have very little bearing in Japan, or Brazil, or Saudi Arabia or in essence almost every country you can think of.

So what does a parent who has a child abducted do?

One of the remedies available to them is to turn to The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Parental Child Abduction which the United States and Canada are signatory members of. The Hague Convention in essence is an international treaty that established civil international court protocols parents who have had their child abducted can turn to for relief in order to bring their child home.

Perfect, right? Wrong.

The truth is there exist many problems when thinking you can turn to the Hague Convention. The first issue is that many countries such as those found in Asia, Africa and the Middle East are not members of the convention. So, if your child is stolen to Japan for example, you do not have an international treaty to turn to. And using Japan as an instance, to the best of my knowledge no American child criminally abducted to Japan by the other parent has ever been returned to America by the Japanese government. Another example of this is to assume a child is stolen from Denver, Colorado to Nigeria (this is a recent case), well Nigeria is not a member of the convention. And in Nigeria, mothers have no real rights of custody. So, your ability to reunite with your child is very difficult.

Furthermore, countries who are signatories do not comply with the spirit or intent of the Hague Convention. For example, countries such as Mexico, Brazil, and Germany are, but a few nations that present serious challenges for a parent trying to legally reunite with their child.

What else could go wrong? Well, I am only scratching the surface. Remember, a parental child abductor is kidnapper. They purposefully and knowingly kidnapped a child and fled to another country where they sought refuge under another nation's laws. And as I said, men and women appear to equally abduct: the abusive act against an innocent child is not bias to gender.

Adding a serious amount of fuel to the fire is the fact that in the United States, if your child is internationally parentally abducted, you, the Chasing Parent, are responsible for all financial costs associated with your recovery attempts, meaning you are responsible for all legal costs, private investigator costs (you may need to first find out where your child is), and every other cost you can think of.

Are you starting to become overwhelmed?

Perhaps I should add a little fuel to the fire. Under the Hague Convention’s Article 13, there exists a clause that creates a loophole for an abductor to legally get away with the kidnapping. In essence, if the abductor can prove that the kidnapping of the child is in the best interest of the child, the international courts could in fact sanction the abduction!

How is this done? That’s easy. In most cases, the kidnapper will use the internet to slander and defame the targeted parent, citing anything and everything you can imagine in order to put the other parent in a poor light. Defamation and slander and libel acts are the abductors best friend. And sadly, due to federal law, an online post made by a third party does not have to be removed. In fact, there are websites that exist solely for the purpose of allowing slander and defamation. Unfortunately, the trend for an abductor acting to slander the target is that they use an assortment of social media outlets to do so.

The final impact? The targeted parent is not simply slandered and defamed, but their identity and persona if stolen, and there is very little you can do about it.

New York State litigator Joel S. Walter, who has represented numerous targeted parents who have been defamed by their child’s other parent added, “The evil intent of an abducting parent is illustrated by the abductors overall pure intent to destroy the targeted parent’s life. Not only is the abductor not satisfied in using a child as a pawn for abduction, but the abductor’s true desire to cause irreparable harm. There is no better way to do that other than simultaneously stealing a person’s child and stealing their identity. And that is the reality that parents facing abduction must deal with. Fortunately, states where Peter Thomas Senese worked feverishly to have online impersonation laws passed, such as New York and California criminalize online impersonation. But every other state outside of these two and Texas have not yet formally put specific Internet impersonation laws on their books. It is a serious issue.”

Of course you may be asking yourself, "Why is this occurring at such a large scale?"

There are a few immediate and straight-forward answers. First, the rise of international child abductions is occurring because our world is becoming closer together and individuals from different nations and cultures enter into relationships and eventually have children. However, divorce is a reality for all partnership and marriage.

Unfortunately, there are many times when a divorcing or separating parent who was not born in the country where the child has habitual residence lives decides that they want to return to their country of origin. And when they do, they want to take their child with them. Which of course typically does not go over very well with the child's other parent. And knowing that a court will typically not grant for the parent to take the child abroad if the other parent does not consent, the non-national parent will create a scheme to abduct the child.

Another serious problem is that all too often a judge and a court possessing a right of local jurisdiction of a child does not realize the true intent of another parent's intent to abduct. Nor does the court realize and understand the complexity of international law and the reality that once a child is taken abroad, their court's orders mean very little, if anything at all.

So what can you do if you are a parent who might have some concern about international parental child abduction?

In order to assist you, I have provided a List Of Warning Signs that I urge you to consider later in this article.

The key to protecting your children is to educate society of the risks involved. In order to help other parents do just that, I have created a handful of tools that may be of use. This includes creating the online educational documentary film titled 'Chasing Parents'. I have also co-authored the most up-to-date and current resource guide on international child abduction titled 'The World Turned Upside Down', and I have recently published the novel 'Chasing The Cyclone' that I am pleased to say book critics are speaking very highly of.

Patricia M. Lee, who I consider to be one of the world’s most skilled international family law attorneys, and who is a Senior Mentor of the United States Department of State’s ‘Hague Convention Attorney Network’ and my fellow Board of Director member of the I CARE Foundation, reminded me of the importance of our work when she said during in a recent press release, “I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Senese first, not as an acclaimed fiction writer, but as a dedicated child advocate helping victimized parents work through the morass of financial, legal and practical issues in their attempts to reunify with their children. To tell you the truth, I first contacted Mr. Senese while doing research for a left behind parent, without even being aware of his other publications. Since then, Mr. Senese’s resource guide for child abduction victims has been wealth of information that I keep on my desktop. When I learned of Mr. Senese’s personal experience and trauma which inspired “Chasing the Cyclone,” I was shocked, and simply sat down and cried. Now I understand first hand why he is so committed to helping others victimized by child abduction, and works every day to help other victims. I am humbled by his fierce dedication, and am looking forward to his continued support, and the donation of his funds, time and talents to the I CARE Foundation.”

Here are a few review excerpts for Chasing The Cyclone I think may be useful:

Select Reviews of Peter Thomas Senese’s Chasing The Cyclone

The highly influential New York Journal of Books said of Chasing The Cyclone, "Chasing The Cyclone is a well-written thriller . . . Senese shares myriad emotions by writing in the first-person as he weaves through the action in this suspense-filled story . . . This novel might also be considered a treatise on international child abduction. Cyclone, while full of actual strategies and resources to assist parents in international abductions, is above all else a love story about a father and son ... From Los Angeles, to Canada, to New Zealand, and eventually, Macau, a special administrative region of China, Cyclone is rife with international intrigue and suspense. The protagonist, Paul Francesco, orchestrates a master plan that he hopes will reunite him with the love of his life - his son. Along the way he finds himself swamped in red tape and drenched in frustration. Filled with a plethora of powerful characters and puzzling predicaments and dead ends, the story moves quickly . . . Cyclone will leave you informed and satisfied . . . you will be reluctant to put down."

The renowned Guilty Pleasures Book Review, known as one of the nation's top book critic book review sites by women for women said, "If I had to use one word to describe Chasing the Cyclone by Peter Thomas Senese it would be phenomenal. As in remarkable. Extraordinary. I have read many books over the years, for enjoyment, for education, because I had to, because I wanted to. I cannot think of any other book that comes close to making me feel as I did when I read this book. I believe these feelings will stick with me forever. This story, inspired by horrific events, is about the love between a father and a son. And that love is beautiful . . . Mr. Senese's is evidenced by a large number of sworn testimonials by many thankful parents who Mr. Senese has directly helped in either reuniting with their own child or preventing their child from being internationally abducted. Establishing the I CARE Foundation and being closely involved in the rescue attempts of abducted children is but one of the many impactful acts of Mr. Senese. Clearly, 'involved' for Mr. Senese means financially, emotionally, legally, and investigative support. His selflessness is inspiring. He is hope."

What has been most satisfying is to know that Chasing The Cyclone has had a significant impact on the lives of many other parents. Here is but a very small sample of statements sent to the I CARE Foundation about Chasing The Cyclone . . . yes, we have created a few miracles.

Testimonials About Chasing The Cyclone (site administrator has been provided with full copies with sworn testimonials )

EP, whose child was abducted to the Ivory Coast eight years ago spoke of the miracle Peter Thomas Senese created, “On January 16th, 2012, I received a telephone call from Peter Thomas Senese. He said to me that my son was on an airplane 30,000 feet high over Africa and on his way home to the United States . As for Peter Thomas Senese, what can I say about this incredible man who led the efforts on all fronts to rescue my son? He asked for nothing other than for me to help others one day when my child was home, he provided financial support, emotional support, and all the necessary legal support required. I will be forever grateful to Peter Thomas Senese and the I CARE Foundation for the selfless acts and considerable kindness.”

AB said, “Chasing The Cyclone and Peter Thomas Senese have assisted me and my family significantly in protecting my daughters from being parentally abducted to Saudi Arabia, where women like myself have no rights. If my children were abducted there, I would never see them again. Today, I sleep a little better due to the incredible efforts of Peter Thomas Senese. Knowing Mr. Senese has helped ensure my children’s safety and has helped protect us from Chasing The Cyclone of international child abduction. Along the way, he has never asked for anything.”

MR. said, “Unequivocally, Peter Thomas Senese is a tremendous person of great honor and integrity, he acts selflessly on behalf of children all across the globe, he is honest, sincere, unbowed, and willing to stand up against those that act against others. My abducted child is coming home, finally after all these years, in no small way because of the great assistance I received from Peter Thomas Senese.”

TP, a Lieutenant Commander in the United States Navy (reserve) and a mother said, “Mr. Senese has assisted me during legal proceedings I have initiated in order to prevent my at-risk daughter from being abducted to Brazil . . . Chasing The Cyclone as a matter-of-fact guide as to the risk factors that may indicate an abduction and legal steps to take in order to prevent this from happening. Mr. Senese’s work and network continue to protect my daughter and other targeted children.”

Warning Signs of International Parental Child Abduction

1. Be aware of the possibility of any abduction. Although there are no foolproof warning signs for abduction risk, some indicators should not be ignored. Do not stick your head in the sand and pretend that your child is not at risk.

2. The vast majority of international child abductions occur by a parent who is determined to cause hardship and harm to the other parent. The instrument that they use in order to cause this harm is the child or children of the marriage. A significant number of leading therapist and government agencies from around the world have stated in numerous reports that revenge is the primary and leading reason why one parent will try to end the other parent’s relationship with their own child. Therefore, if you are involved with a person who has jealous or revengeful tendencies, you must be aware that these characteristics are common in the vast majority of would-be parental child abductors.

3. If the issues raised in Section 2 are true in your situation and your spouse or former spouse has in the past used the child of your marriage or relationship to cause you harm, pain, and suffering, or, has tried to control and manipulate your actions, then your concern should be magnified ten-fold. If the same individual has family members in another country or has lived in another country and has expressed a desire or threat to move there with your child, your concern should be magnified one-hundred fold.

4. If there is evidence of previous abductions, disappearances, or threats to abduct the child by your spouse or ex-spouse, these indicators demonstrate that any new abduction threat is real and in more likelihood already planned.

5. If your spouse or ex-spouse has citizenship in another country and strong emotional or cultural ties to their country of origin. This is particularly true due to the ability of traveling on a foreign passport, which I discuss later.

6. Unexplainable removal of cash deposits and diminished assets, or unexplainable increases in credit card or bank debt.

7. Concealment of new credit cards or bank debt.

8. Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with individuals or family members living in a foreign country.

9. Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with a lawyer.

10. Frequent previous trips with child to a foreign country without other parent.

11. Family and friends living in a foreign country.

12. No strong ties to a child's home state.

13. Strong foreign support network.

14. No financial reason to stay.

15. Possible use of the child as a pawn in order to gain access to non-joint assets.

16. Engaged in planning activities such as quitting job; selling home; terminating lease; closing bank accounts or liquidating assets; hiding or destroying documents; or securing a passport, a birth certificate, or school medical records.

17. A history of marital instability, lack of cooperation with the other parent, domestic violence, or child abuse.

18. An announcement of an unexpected trip to another country with the child.

19. The taking of easily transportable high-valued items such as jewelry upon departing to another country.

20. Adamant unwillingness to leave the child behind with you while spouse travels to a foreign country.

21. Shipping of personal items to a foreign country.

22. A past tendency of your spouse or ex-spouse to relocate and live abroad.

23. In certain jurisdictions – whereas both parents have a joint-right to custody – it is conceivable that a parent possessing a right of custodial authority over the child (this can be joint or sole custody) can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership to another country for an undetermined period of time (claiming a holiday or short-term trip) without needing permission or actually informing the other parent if a pre-existing travel agreement is not in place already with the court. Essentially, a parent exercising their right of custody over their child can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership without permission from the other parent if a court order is not issued previously. Not surprisingly, many international parental child abductions occur when one parent takes the child of the marriage to another country for an alleged short ‘family visit’ – however, in reality that person has no intention of ever returning with the child to the place of habitual residency. What typically happens next in these scenarios is that the abducting parent, unknown to the left behind parent, files for a divorce in the country they have abducted to. The divorce motion and affidavit filed makes claim to all sorts of cruel and dangerous behavior against the spouse (thus the reason why they are able to file under an ex parte [without notice] motion). Once the divorce law suit is filed, the abducting parent usually will go underground with the assistance of family and/or friends who usually assisted in the planning of this act. It is critical to note that deception is a critical element in these typical scenarios: the left behind parent is left to believe that their partner and child are on a short vacation (typically to visit family of the partner) at the time of their departure. A few days or weeks later, reality sets in with either a phone call or a letter saying that the partner and child/children are not returning, and that a divorce action has been filed. So, even if you think you are happily married, it is greatly advised to have a legally binding and court registered travel agreement in place prior to either parent exercising a right of custody is granted permission to leave the country with your child.

24. Trust your instincts: if something feels wrong, it probably is. And remember that most international parental child abductions are carefully planned and typically involve the help of others.

25. BEWARE that the other parent may be trying to prepare an Article 13 Defense while remaining in the country prior to abduction. This may include the other parent filing false police reports or making false claims to social service against you. REMEMBER that if the international courts have reason to believe that the return of your child may put the child in grave danger, they will not order for a return to the country of origin under Article 13. The use of false reporting right prior to international child abduction is a strong indicator that abduction is planned.

26. If a parent living as an alien citizen of one country but has limited roots to that country and is intending to travel with the child abroad, the risks of an abduction are great. MORESO, if the parent who is planning to depart, say on a few week vacation, does not have the ability to purchase a return ticket back to the child's country of origin and/or does not have employment and/or does not have housing, then you can bet that upon departure for the so-called 'vacation', that parent is not returning. Remember, Intent and Sustainability issues are critical. If a person can't sustain themselves in the country that their child was born, and, they have no deep roots, why in the world would they want to stay?

27. If an alien-parent has deep connections to another country, and has deep connections to that country's senior government officials, there is a clear risk. Recently, I have been advising on a situation where the potential abductor has immediate family members in charge of overseeing a fleet of aircraft owned by a Middle East family (or you could say government). Obviously, access to aircraft and departing under immunity of a foreign government are very concerning.

28. If you are the victim of online slander, defamation, and identity theft, whereas an anonymous or unknown blogger tries to discredit and defame you in a public light, this is a major warning sign. Often, the Internet is used by a parent who is planning on abducting a child under the concealment of anonymity in order to publicly portray you in an untruthful, but negative light. The reason being that once they abduct the child, they will turn to the public statements on the Internet that maliciously defame you and steal your identity and use this under Article 13’s ‘Best Interest of the Child’ defense. Tragically, under U.S. Federal law, so long as a third party posts onto a hosted website, the site administrator is not required to remove the blog EVEN if it is deemed defamatory, slanderous, or malicious by a court. So, the slander will stay on the Internet, regardless of the legal action you may take. And the abductor, using anonymity, can and often will use various alias names to create a new and unfavorable persona for the targeted parent.

29. Many abducting parents who have deep connections to another country, for example, such as being born in a foreign country and/or having strong family ties will use the idea of a ‘family vacation’ as a means to abduct a child abroad. In essence, the targeted parent is not led on to believe that the relationship is broken, and in fact, the intended abductor will go out of the way to portray a solid relationship in order to have the other partner travel abroad for a ‘family visit’. Then, upon arrival to the destination country, the abductor will make a claim of child abuse or spousal abuse (and it happens equally amongst men and women), and seek immediate relief in their country of origin (where they are supposedly on a vacation seeing family). The relief sought will include a restraining order against the other parent, and immediate separation/divorce proceedings. By stating mistreatment, the abducting parent begins to lay the foundation for an Article 13 defense. Sadly, in countries that are not members of the Hague Convention, a child’s return to their country of origin or original jurisdiction seldom occurs. This is true too for Hague participatory countries, too. And since there was no previous court order issued by a court who had jurisdiction of the child prior to the vacation, the abducting parent has not violated any initial laws. In fact, some of the defenses used by abductors inclusive of false claims of abuse include statements that the targeted parent was aware of and had consented that the child was going to be relocated to a new country. So, beware of vacations to your spouse’s country of origin particularly when your child’s other parent has strong ties to that country and is shipping many valuables that were in the household under the guise of that person trying to support and provide assistance to their family living abroad.

30. A child who has a right to citizenship from another country due to one of its parents being a national of that country has the right to receive a foreign, secondary passport. In some countries, particularly in the Middle East, the passport for a child possessing a right to citizenship may be obtained by only one parent: typically the father. For other countries, only one parent is required to obtain the child’s passport. If you know that your child has a secondary passport that has been issued due to the child’s other parent’s right of citizenship to another country, this is a major concern because that passport can be used as the passport for illegal travel. Equally alarming is that many targeted parents who have a child with a person who has a right to another nation’s citizenship may never know if the other parent obtained a passport from their home country for the child of the relationship. And no U.S. court can take possession of the foreign passport unless an actual crime has been committed. Furthermore, foreign embassies generally will not answer a court subpoena requesting information about whether that nation has issued a passport for a specific child. They are uncooperative. To put it as simple as possible: the issuance of a second passport to a child by the abducting parent’s country of origin is the most dangerous and severe warning sign of an intended abduction.

In parting I would like to simply say that of the tens of thousands of parents who are targeted each year to have a child internationally stolen, very few parents thought this crime would happen to their child. So please take the time to consider what I am sharing.

Perhaps the highly respected New York City international family law attorney and fellow I CARE Foundation Board Member Joel S. Walter said it best when he said, “Parents really need to understand of the possibility that IPCA is a real threat, particularly in cases where there are multi-cultural relationships or when one parent has demonstrated enough mental instability that they could conceivably use the child of the marriage as a pawn, and disappear to the other side of the world in order to cause hurt to the other parent. The number of abductions occurring and predicted speaks for itself: we have a sizeable pandemic on our hands mothers and fathers alike need to protect their children. One of the most important tools ever created to educate society of the severity of the problems at hand that is also of great benefit to targeted parents of abduction is Peter Thomas Senese’s Chasing The Cyclone.”

About The Author:

Peter Thomas Senese is a child abduction prevention advocate and a successful chasing parent in accordance to the rules of international parental child abduction law established under the Hague Convention. Mr. Senese is the Founding Director of the not-for-profit International Child Abduction Research & Enlightenment (I CARE) Foundation. In his volunteer advocacy, Mr. Senese has provided testimony to various government committees and courts regarding child abduction. Under Mr. Senese's guidance, the I CARE Foundation has built a national network of highly trained pro bono lawyers willing to assist parents and children who are either targeted for abduction or have been illegally abducted, and has led a secondary campaign recruiting attorneys to join the United States Department of State's 'Hague Convention Attorney Network'. In addition, the I CARE Foundation is behind two federal legislative initiatives that if passed is anticipated to dramatically reduce the number of child abductions and instances of human trafficking. The new legislative initiatives revolve around modification in the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative, and, the implementation of Prevent Departure Program - II. In addition, Mr. Senese advocated for the passage of the State of Florida’s ‘Child Abduction Prevention Act’ (CAPA) that was enacted on January 1^st, 2011. Mr. Senese successfully sought for the implementation and dissemination of what was previously a widely underutilized federal child abduction prevention program; specifically, the ‘Prevent Departure Program’ (PDP) that is now highly utilized in order to protect targeted parents and their child from abduction in certain case scenarios. Mr. Senese advocated for the passage of both the states of California and New York's online impersonation bills that are now law. Peter Thomas Senese is the creator/writer/producer of the educational documentary film series ‘Chasing Parents: Racing Into The Storms Of International Parental Child Abduction’, a multi-best-selling geopolitical author whose upcoming world-wide book release that focuses on international child abduction titled ‘Chasing The Cyclone’ has been critically acclaimed as a call-to-arms against child abduction. Peter is the co-author of the highly informative, extensively researched book on IPCA titled 'The World Turned Upside Down'. In addition, Peter is the writer of an extensive number of influential articles and essays pertaining to IPCA. He has created and oversees a comprehensive website dedicated to child abduction prevention and good parenting (www.chasingthecyclone.com) where numerous essays may be found, including the eye-opening report ‘Crisis In America: International Parental Child Abduction Today’ Peter co-authored with Ms. Carolyn Vlk. Dedicated to bringing about new child abduction prevention laws while creating dialogs that may reform certain government programs and protocols so that they may better serve targeted children and their parents, Peter Senese is a strong supporter of The Hague Convention and The Department of State’s Office Of Children’s Issues. Paramount to all things, Peter is a loving father deeply dedicated to raising his young son. 100% of Mr. Senese's royalties generated from the sales of any of his e-books, including ‘Chasing The Cyclone’, ‘The Den of the Assassin’, and ‘Cloning Christ’ will be donated to the I CARE Foundation, which has used these monies to successfully reunite children internationally kidnapped or prevented an abduction from occurring.

Related Websites:
The Official Website Of Peter Thomas Senese

The Official Website of Attorney Joel S. Walter
The Official Website Of Chasing The Cyclone
The Official Blog of Best-Selling Author Peter Thomas Senese

The Official Website of Peter Thomas Senese's Documentary Film: Chasing Parents

Peter Thomas Senese's Books On Amazon
Peter Thomas Senese's Books On Barnes & Noble

Coming Up!!!

2012-05-01T17:55:00.002-04:00

Have you ever gotten to the place where your whole body just feels total exhaustion but you have to keep pushing yourself because your kids aren't in bed yet? Man, I'm there today. I've had a busy week, and I know there have been crickets chirping here on the blog...but I've got some great posts coming up!!!

Peter Thomas Senese, the founding director of of the International Child Abduction Research & Enlightenment Foundation (the 'I CARE Foundation') and author of author of Chasing The Cyclone will be writing a guest post for us on the warning signs of abduction. Peter's own child was abducted several years ago. His story and how he was able to reunite with his child inspired him to start this foundation and write Chasing The Cyclone in order to help other families not have to experience what he did. Unfortunately, so many times the story doesn't end with being reunited.

I can't wait to get Peter's blog post for us! It's scary for me to even THINK about abduction. I want to push it under a rug and ignore it, but you just can't do that. We've got to be prepared and have the knowledge we need to protect our kids.

I also have a MECP2 Duplication Syndrome awareness and fundraising project to tell you about. So be on the lookout for those posts, and have a great day!!!

How To Receive SSI

2012-04-23T18:31:00.002-04:00

If you have a child with a disability, you're more than likely going to be encouraged to apply for SSI...Supplemental Social Security Income. Before you even start, you may get a lot of discouragement. The forms are difficult to fill out, people get denied a lot, etc, etc. It left me wondering how to receive SSI.

When Anna was two we applied for SSI and were immediately denied. What we didn't know then was that the paperwork has to be filled out correctly and there are lots of things that can be done incorrectly if you don't have help. After Anna's father and I divorced, I kept getting encouragement to reapply.

Searching the internet, I found Myler Disability. This is a law firm that specializes in applying for SSI! I called them to find out more about their services and what the costs to me would be. The consultation is FREE, and if they determine that you have a good chance of qualifying, they take care of everything!!! You do answer a lot of questions, and they send you the paperwork to sign so you'll have your original signature on it, but they do all the difficult paperwork.

So what's the cost to you? It's 25% of your back-check. What that means is that sometimes it can take up to six months to get through the application process and if you're approved you'll get paid from the time you applied for the disability services. Myler will only get 25% of the FIRST check you receive...that's all! In my thoughts, I figured I had less of a chance getting it if I filled out the paperwork again, and if they could get me the help, then yeah they could have 25% of the back-check. Plus its not money you have to come up with out of your pocket, that fee comes automatically out of your first check. It's like you didn't even know you had it.

I operated in a lot of faith with this. I spoke and believed that it would not take six months as they predicted, and that I would not get denied and have to appeal...and you know what? It only took a month. Right after they got the application in my local social security office called me to tell me that her case was flagged for quick approval because of the severity of her disability. Myler Disability knows what they are doing!

Also, usually when you get approved for SSI, you are automatically approved for Medicaid. I have my first check and my medicaid card already. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

You need to know that it is needs-based so the amount you get is based on your need. If you or your spouse have a great income that can likely take care of the medical bills and living expenses, you probably won't qualify. The great thing is through the questions you will answer during the free consultation from Myler Disabily you will determine if you'll be likely to qualify so you don't waste your time. My experience was great and practically unheard of. They tell you to expect it to be six months and expect that you may get denied a few times before you get approved. If you need SSI, I highly suggest you call Myler Disability and then start speaking and believing in faith that you'll get it.

As I said before, you'll answer a LOT of questions and you'll need to be prepared to give information on doctors and office visits over the last year. There will be several different people calling you with questions about your child's disability claim. Be patient, answer fully and honestly, and I believe your experience can go very much like mine did.

If you have any questions for me...leave a comment. I'll be glad to answer anything I can.

How To Receive SSI

Queen Esther

2012-04-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

In updating this blog and removing old posts that I had taken photos out of I realized that there aren't many pictures of Essie on here anymore. In case you're wondering what the sister of my beautiful Anna looks like, this is her majesty...Queen Esther:).

B-e-d Spells Bed

2012-04-22T08:38:00.000-04:00

The other night I was getting Essie ready for bed (she goes earlier than Anna), and I was asking Anna what "b-e-d" spells. We do this often as a way to help her learn. I'll say, "okay it's time to put Essie in the b-e-d, what does b-e-d spell?". This particular night she wasn't having any of it. She got grumpy and whined and said, " I don't know! I don't know what anything spells!"

Sometimes I know she's overwhelmed and other times I know she's just not wanting to put in the effort. I knew this night she was just being grumpy and not wanting to put forth the effort. Plus, at times I get just about all the whining I can handle for one day. So I told her if she was going to behave like that she could go to bed right then too, and I was serious. I went out of the room to get her favorite stuffed animals she sleeps with and when I came back she was very calm. She looked at me and said (in her sweetest voice), "b-e-d spells bed."

Oh I had to laugh. That girl did not want to go to b-e-d! I was very proud because she didn't whine and cry and say she didn't want to go bed. She figured out that what made me frustrated was her lack of participation and she decided to participate...quickly!

What is Hypotonia?

2012-04-19T12:01:00.013-04:00

(Anna at age 3 mos. I love how it looks like she's winking:)

Hypotonia is one of the disease characteristics of MECP2 Duplication Syndrome. I've always had a little bit of a difficult time understanding it. So, exactly what is hypotonia?

It's often called "floppy baby syndrome" because a baby who has hypotonia will flop backward if they're not supported well while being held. I saw this with Anna quite a bit when excited friends or church members would say, "Oh can I hold your baby?" It would have seemed that she was old enough to support herself a bit, but without holding her up she would flop backward. It didn't hurt her (they were still holding her enough so they wouldn't drop her, but it certainly scared me and anyone who was holding her because they could have dropped her.)

Often confused with muscle strength, hypotonia is described as low muscle tone. It can involve a reduction in muscle strength, but sometimes has nothing at all to do with the strength. It was described to me once this way: (If you'd like to do this exercise while you read this, give it a try.)

Pick up a pencil. Now drop your wrist a bit and loosen your fingers up a bit while still holding on to the pencil. Or, in other words...let your wrist and fingers "flop". Notice that your fingers, wrist and arm have plenty of strength to pick up the pencil but low muscle tone would make it difficult for you to be able to hold it for long.

That may not be the best example, but it's the best I've got. As I said before, it's hard for me to fully understand. Reading the information on Wikepedia about Hypotonia is helpful for me to identify with what we've seen in Anna. If you have a child with hypotonia, you can expect to see a developmental delay in both fine motor skills and gross motor skills. Anna has been in physical therapy for most of her life and is expected to continue in it. Anna absolutely hated lying on her stomach as a baby and found it difficult to lift her head. Rolling over, crawling and walking were delayed. (She first crawled at 10 mos old and walked at 22 months. Her sister, Essie...walked at nine months.)

As the years have progressed, we have definitely seen improvements in the fine and gross motor skills, but the hypotonia is still obvious. Anna moves much more slowly than her peers in many cases. For instance, climbing the bus steps. Her peers bound up the steps in two seconds flat, while it takes patience for Anna to one by one lift her legs and climb....each.....step. With Anna now eight years old, we see her walking and running and jumping (though jumping is still being worked on) but there is a notable difference in her gait. Most people would define her gait as awkward.

What's interesting to me now is that Anna seems to have a better "grasp" on gross motor than fine. She can get a folded cardboard box out of the closet, open it up, put it together, turn it over and put her stuffed animals in it; yet, when her nose is runny she cannot wipe her own nose. Something about the motion of the index finger and thumb working together cannot compute with her.

Feeding has always been an issue. Breastfeeding was difficult because she couldn't latch on well. Even when we switched to the bottle, we went through many types of bottles to try to find the right nipple she could use. No one but me could get her to take her pacifier. I'm not sure why I could do it, but she wouldn't take it for anyone but me.

It took many years for her to learn how to use utensils. Thinking back, I can't really remember exactly when she started using a spoon and fork independently, but I would guess at around age 4 to 5. Even today at nearly nine years old, she prefers hand to mouth foods rather than utensil foods, and she prefers to use a spoon even when a fork would be more appropriate. The types of foods she is willing to eat is also made difficult by the hypotonia. She wants crunchy snack foods like crackers and pretzels, and soft foods like yogurt and pudding. These are fine foods, but they don't work well with hypotonia because hypotonia is present in all muscles and constipation can often be a part of it. So the hypotonia makes her only want to eat certain types of foods, but those foods promote constipation, which the hypotonia already has the tendency to cause. UGH. Constipation is a characteristic of the MECP2 Duplication Syndrome, but to me it's not clear if it's because the MECP2 causes the gastrointestinal problems or because it causes hypotonia which in turn causes the constipation. It could be both the MECP2 that directly effects the intestines and the hypotonia which effects the anus muscles. Whatever way it happens, constipation is a huge issue in our lives, which directly effects potty training. Being constipated often and having hard stools makes it difficult to learn to poop on the potty. It's so much more comfortable to her to poop in her Goodnights...slowly... as she can get it out.

Back to the eating for a moment (after we've just talked about poop, sorry), Anna will eat chicken nuggets and breads but she gnaws her food until it's gone. Bite-and-pull is something we try to work with her on, but if we pay too much attention to it, she'll get frustrated and stop eating. I try to watch her close and let her gnaw...but that is another effect of the low muscle tone in the mouth. I have found that if I slice carrots on a mandoline very thin she will eat them. If I steam broccoli very soggy and top it with a little cheese (her favorite food of all) she will eat it as well.

Yet another aspect of life made difficult by the hypotonia in the mouth is teeth care. She seems to have a hard time holding her mouth open. I get so frustrated because I want her to open her mouth and hold it open wide! I'm not sure she's actually capable though, and I have to try to be patient. I have had to personally yank her teeth out when it's time for them to come out (not a fun task). It's just that I'm the only person she will let near her mouth and give any effort of holding it open for any amount of time so I have to wiggle, twist, and pull them. She'll need to see a dentist soon and they'll have to use anesthesia to work with her. Part of that is the anxiety aspect of MECP2 which will be discussed in a later post.

Early on, you may see a lot of drooling. Anna drooled for quite some time. Even now when I brush her teeth I have to use a washcloth underneath her mouth to allow the saliva to come out. She can't hold it back or swallow it.

Of course, one very major aspect of hypotonia you will most likely see is speech delay. Your child may be able to understand much more than they can convey to you with words. We've found Anna can follow simple instructions and understand most of what we say to her. I'll do a separate speech post, because there's a lot to share about Anna's experience, but speech delays are definitely part of hypotonia. At nearly nine, she communicates about 95% verbally, but there are times we still can't understand her. I ususally try to figure out what she's saying by thinking of what words might rhyme with the sound she's making. "Drate" may be "plate", for instance. Once she said she wanted to watch "Da ta Nino" which was "Finding Nemo".

Like most conditions, hypotonia has differing severities. Anna's seems fairly severe. I do know that boys with MECP2 are reported to never develop more than a 10 word vocabulary (at best), but I don't know if that has more to do with the intellectual disability or the hypotonia (or a combination of both). We are so blessed that Anna can form her own thoughts, convey her own words, and respond to us.

If you have a child with hypotonia...God bless you. I'm right there with you. It's not easy but it's not impossible either! For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37 (KJV)

Just remember: patience, patience, patience...and if you lose that patience (as I have)...well cut yourself some slack. None of us are superhuman.

What is Hypotonia?

Free Kindle Book - The Everything Grow Your Own Vegetables Book

2012-04-18T13:05:00.004-04:00

The Everything Grow Your Own Vegetables Book: Your Complete Guide to planting, tending, and harvesting vegetables (Everything (Home Improvement)

Kindle Edition is currently $0.00! (4/18/2012) Go snag your copy if you'd like. I don't know how long it will stay free, but usually it's just a few days. Then the price will go back up to over $15! Remember, you don't have to have a Kindle to read this book.

You can download a Kindle reader for your computer, iPad, iPhone, or other device for FREE! Get the full list of Free Kindle Apps and links to download them here.

I LOVE how Amazon offers FREE Kindle books from time to time. This one couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've been getting really interested in growing vegetables. I decided this year I'm going to start with an herb garden. By the way, Home Depot is offering a free Do-It-Herself herb container gardening class on May 3rd, 2012. It's from 6:30 to 8:00 pm at your local Home Depot, and I can't wait to go! I've got my seedlings started and am seeing them pop up (more on this later!).

I think gardening is going to be a great hobby for me and a good productive "escape" from my life's reality as a special needs parent. Plus, it will be educational for the kids and as we start to grow and eat our own vegetables it will be healthful as well. With my mind filled with home-made salsa, herb bread, spaghetti sauce, and corn casserole, I want to run out and plant a giant garden. But I really know nothing about it all yet. I could plunk some seeds in the ground and water them, but what about insects, deer and other animals that will be looking for a yummy nibble, weeding, feeding, protecting? AAH! I get so excited and then so overwhelmed and remember I have to learn one step at a time. So, I keep "pep talking" myself that herbs are enough for this year, and next year I can do some more.

I can't wait to read through this book and learn more for next year (and maybe even some about this year's container herb project!).

I have found a few more Kindle freebies on gardening that are worth a gander before jumping in. you might like to check them out too:

Home Vegetable Gardening -a Complete and Practical Guide to the Planting and Care of All Vegetables, Fruits and Berries Worth Growing for Home Use

Organic Gardener's Composting

I haven't read any of them yet, but I did pay $.99 for this Gardening Basics For Dummies®, Mini Edition. There's only 5 chapters but I did find the information in it worth $1. For someone who knew nothing AT ALL, it was great to get a basic understanding of soils, mulches, annuals, perennials, planting and watering. I definitely need more info, but like I said, for $1 it was good info.

If anyone finds more free gardening Kindle books, let me know. For free, why not snag them right?

Warm Feet

2012-04-17T20:17:00.005-04:00

If you've read some of my previous posts, you know I've struggled with putting pictures of the kids on the blog. All mom bloggers do, and I got some mixed comments about the decision to take them off. Most people agree that it's better to keep pictures of children off the internet, yet that the blog would be more effective and be able to reach people with pictures. So, for right now I've decided to trust God with the pictures. If I start getting dream warnings or a feeling in my spirit that they shouldn't be there, I'll take them off again, but for now I'm gonna let you see pics of my sweet girls that this blog is named for. I may or may not replace the old photos that were removed, we'll just see. < style="color: black; text-align: left;"> So I said all that to say this (And I wanted to show you an updated pic of my sweet Anna so you could look at her beautiful face while you read this story)...

When you have a special needs child you celebrate everything. It's actually something you come to appreciate, because before having a special needs child I didn't know how to celebrate every life victory or even how to recognize them. The other night when I was getting Anna ready for bed she pointed to the sock drawer. One thing you may find with a MECP2 girl especially (if you are in the same boat with me) is that they seem to be able to understand much more than they can communicate. She couldn't form in her brain to say, "I want socks", but she knew she could get me to understand by pointing to the sock drawer. I notice my very normally developing two year old communicating this way often, so it kind of tells me at times where Anna is developmentally (in some areas). When she gets a "jumpstart" she can form the thoughts and express the words she's trying to say. So I asked her if she wanted socks. She said,"Yes so they'll keep my feet warm." I was so proud! She knew why she wanted socks and what they did for her and how to express that. My heart filled with joy and I rushed out to share the story with my mom. That's what I mean by celebrating every victory. To most people, socks are just socks. It's not a big deal. To Anna, it's so much more. It's about being able to form a thought and express a desire that will help her with what she needs....warm feet.

Just Keep Blogging, Just Keep Blogging.....

2012-04-17T19:58:00.003-04:00

Well, Hi Everyone! It's been such a long time since I posted on this blog. I honestly didn't know if I was ever going to again. I think I felt that it wasn't really reaching anyone; but, today I got a beautiful email from a concerned mother. Her daughter is going through a struggle with a special needs child and she wanted to know if I would reach out to her. She said my blog was a blessing. Wow. That was amazing to me. My blog? A blessing? My "little bit of this and little bit of that" hodgepodge mom blog meant something to someone? Even after it's been months since I wrote anything on it? Wow, again.

Well, I decided to come back to this ole' blog and give her a jump start with some fresh new information. I'll probably do some re-arranging and set some new labels and headings. I'm still going to write about this and that...because a special needs mom just can't focus on having a special needs child all the time. We have to have hobbies and interests and "escapes" as my dear sister likes to call them. As long as we're escaping into something positive and productive I say let's go for it! But I do want to refocus on being a special needs parent and talk about the joys and sorrows of it all. I'd love for especially MECP2 parents to find it as a source of bonding, information, and hopefully even comfort.

I'm reminded of a scene from a favorite movie of Anna's:

"Hey there Mr. grumpy gills, when life gets you down you wanna know what you gotta do?"

"I don't wanna know what you gotta do."

"You gotta just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."

Recognize it? (Finding Nemo, Dory and Marlin.)

So that's me, instead of swimming, I gotta just keep blogging, just keep blogging, just keep blogging, blogging blogging!

What's Missing?

2011-11-28T19:53:00.001-05:00

You may be strolling around this blog for the first time and thinking...something doesn't look right here. What's missing? Pictures. I used to put pics of my kids on the blog...almost all mom bloggers do. I don't know though...something lately just has made me feel like I want to get their pics off the internet and keep them off. So if you didn't get the amazing blessing of seeing my adorable angel girls...sorry! I just feel like a more responsible parent keeping their pics off the net. What do you think?

Living With Special Needs

2011-11-26T09:36:00.001-05:00

Wow, it has been so very long since I did a post, I know. Crazy busy times and life. I just checked my comments and got one that sincerely touched my heart. It was the post on mental retardation. The anonymous commenter said this:

i am new to your blog, and this post really hit home for me. i have a 13 month old daughter with a duplicate on chromosome 8p23.1. she has hypotonia and will also have mental retardation. i am totally NOT where you are at emotionally and psychologically. in fact, i am in a very bad, sad place and i am angry at God. i have been a christian for as long as i can remember, and well, i feel sad all the time. i have not been able to rejoice in who she is and how far she has come. i just mourn in what she isn't doing and how sad i am that i don't have a typical daughter.

we found out about her duplicate only 6 months ago, so i know i need to give myself time. but man, it is so hard. thank you for your post. it is encouraging to think about mr in a different way and to know that as a mom, you can still have joy and happiness. you seem so... normal. :) thank you! i am going to follow your blog closely.

I have to say, I totally understand where you are. It did take longer than six months to get to acceptance and renewed faith in God. I can't say how long it took exactly, but I did get there and you can too. If my post in any way encouraged you in your walk in life then I'm just thrilled! No one expects to have a special needs child. You get pregnant and you have all these dreams and plans for a normally developing child. When things aren't right it's easy to say, why me? Why my child? Some people may think finding cliche sayings and standing firm on faith is just a way we Christians deal with things. But I seriously believe with all my heart that God trusted me with Anna because he highly values me and my ability to raise her. It's quite a compliment. I don't have answers as to why it happened to her. Her duplication is de novo....meaning not passed down from either parent and no apparent source it came from. Just a fluke so to speak. your daughters may be as well.

You may get LOADS of advice from people, but if you ever have questions from someone else who's going through the same thing...I'm here for you. If I started now this post could get super long. But I will say as far as mental retardation, it's not so scary. When you can come to a place where you forgive God and put your faith and trust in Him again (Yes, I had to do that too. I'm not sure I was angry with Him..I guess I was, but it was more that I just didn't understand WHY He allowed it to happen, so I still had to forgive God as weird as that sounds.) you can start to exercise that faith for your daughter and see the amazing things we have seen. Anna understands in some ways she is different, but it doesn't really seem to bother her. Maybe because we don't act like it bothers us or like it's a big deal. We are...."normal"...to a degree. We have a special needs child and that means there are things we can't always do that people with normally developing kids do...but we still have loads of fun and lots of love. Anna melted my heart the other night. She says, "I think" before her sentences a lot like "I think I'm hungry", or "I think I want to watch Jonah". So she said to me, "Mom, I think I love you so much.". What a sweetie. Also, she pronounces "mom" as "nom".

There are lots of challenges still, but I have come to a place in my life that I don't live it focused on the special needs. We focus on the Lord and having the best life possible...and oh yeah my child also has special needs so I need to make some adjustments at times. Life is so much more fulfilling that way. It really is. God bless you and your family, and please let me know if you have any further questions or concerns you'd like to discuss.

Another Day For Joy and Tears

2011-10-23T13:23:00.001-04:00

Today was an amazing day. Even as recent as our last meeting at Anna's school a few weeks ago, Anna wasn't writing her name. We were talking about how she could use stamps to stamp out her name, but her occupational therapist was saying how she got stuck on writing the "n".

When the girls came in today we were watching television and relaxing and I had placed my notebook that I write my dreams on on the counter. I walked by it a little later and this is what I saw:

I stopped in my tracks and said, "Anna....did you write your name?" I mean, I don't know who else could have written it but I was just astonished. She smiled and said yes, and I asked her to write it again while I watched her:

I wish I had videoed it. She never understands why I cry but she knows it's good. :) My baby can write her name.

2 Piece Robinson Cutting Boards from Frigidaire

2011-10-17T11:40:00.001-04:00

I was recently given the opportunity to try out kitchen products from Frigidaire in exchange for an honest review. I actually chose two things, but today I'm just going to tell you about one of them. I found it interesting when I was contacted because I had no clue that Frigidare even offered kitchen cooking tools and other products, but I was really excited to try them. I love to cook and therefore want every kitchen gadget known to man. One thing that is super handy to have around though is cutting boards.

I chose the cutting boards because I'm always needing a cutting board. This handy two piece set comes with one sized 16" and one sized 12", both which tuck away in my kitchen drawer ready for me to pull out and use when I need them. I love the sizes and I love that there are two of them so if I've used one and hadn't washed it right away, I have another one I can pull out quickly and use when I need it.

Both ends of the cutting board are reinforced with non skid/ non-slip grips for safety, and they come in red, yellow, purple, green, orange, and blue so you can color coordinate with your kitchen. I love mine and find them really useful. PLUS, right now they are on sale for half price! You can get this set for under $10.
So if you need some cutting boards, I would highly recommend them.

I also got a square baking stone...so look for an upcoming review on it, and go check out Frigidare to see what other cool kitchen tools they offer.