I might look calm on the outside, but on the inside I am screaming I WILL BURN DOWN THE BUILDING.

March 20: We took our then-9-week-old Baby J to the emergency room for extreme congestion. Girlfriend was having trouble breathing and kept coughing till she threw up. To relieve the congestion, two full-grown men had to hold her down and essentially vacuum out her sinuses. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I CAN’T EVEN.

To Baby J’s credit, she timed a hacking cough PERFECTLY and got us admitted before everybody else.

April 15: My husband went to the emergency room with symptoms of appendicitis. After a couple hours curled up on a waiting room bench with a trash can placed strategically below his mouth and paling to an Edward Cullen-esque shade of BLAH, we discovered his appendix was fine, but his colon had a VICIOUS germ. Morphine and Phenergan ensued. While he slept in a drug-induced state, I watched the Boston bombings unfold on Twitter. Rough day for everybody.

This is not what he looked like on that waiting room bench. I just thought you might want to see how handsome he is.

April 25: Our 2-year-old fell down half a flight of wooden steps in our garage. She hit her head at least three or four times and then crashed into the concrete floor below. We took her to the emergency room to make sure she didn’t have head trauma or something else horrible. She came away from the whole thing with just a few scrapes and bruises. As one of my students said today, small children must be made of rubber.

We’ll pretend this was our reaction to StairFall 2013. The reality, of course, was much more… explosive.

So after all this I would just like to say THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH, 2013.

As you can imagine, we are hoping and praying and raindancing that no one will be hospitalized for a while. MAMA NEEDS A BREAK. So does Daddy. And while we’re at it, could we maybe take the world drama down just a notch?

Sheesh.

Sometimes, life only makes sense after you’ve seen a picture of a bunny in a dress. Wouldn’t you agree?

You’re welcome.

Here’s to the approach of May: a new, potentially hospital-free month.

HOW’S THAT FOR A MENTAL IMAGE?

“All these people are at the zoo to see us, Carl. They don’t even know we’re robots. Should we just eat them immediately? What do we do?”
“We wait, Larry. We wait. When the time is right, you will know.”
*evil giraffe laughter*

Look, it’s the best picture I could find. YOU try Googling “rotten banana robot giraffe” and see if you find anything good.

Seriously, the past eight days, I just…I can’t even. So much crap.

Today, though, I decided I didn’t want to let The Sads get to me. I didn’t want to let them steal the joy of my healthy husband and children, my excellent friends, my amazing life.

So I’m punching The Sads in the face.

JOIN ME, WON’T YOU?

There. I feel better.

Today I want to share a few things that have relieved the general sucktasticness of this week, because if there’s any time to focus on the GOOD, this would be that time.

First, I’ve been reading DELIRIUM by Lauren Oliver and I loooooooove, LOOOOOVE it. Yes, it is dystopian fiction, so if you’re tired of oppressive governments and weird/illogical laws meant to control society and grassroots rebellions, this book might not be for you.

But if you’re not tired of those things, GET THEE TO A NEARBY BOOK ESTABLISHMENT and find yourself a copy. It is wonderfully written and the entire series is out. Yay!

Secondly, my two-year-old tried cashews for the first time yesterday. So far, she has referred to them as “ashoos” and “Katie shoes.” This, I feel, is excellent. I do not plan to correct her.

KATIE SHOES!

And finally, the Divergent movie is actually BEING FILMED! In CHICAGO! And if you have not heard, we have a FOUR!

People keep saying he’s too old. I say, MOVIE MAGIC CAN FIX ANYTHING. Leave Theo alone. He will be a great Four.

YAY FOUR.

Oh, and before I leave, I should tell you I am dangerously close to finishing Creepy Faces. Like, daaaaaangerously close. And also I cleaned our bathroom today. Sadly, this is a huge feat for me, so I feel I should share the victory.

Please take a moment to throw this handful of confetti.

*waits*

Thank you. Now please sweep it up. I just cleaned, after all.

*waits*

Excellent. You’re quite a good sweeper, you know.

Anyway…forward and onward, Grasshoppers. We should all lounge around tonight, eating chocolate and reading a good book, pausing only to hug our loved ones.

Have a wonderful, calamity-free week.

You may remember the friend I wrote about only a couple weeks ago in this post. Yesterday morning, her precious baby girl went to be with her Father in heaven. She passed away in her parents’ arms as they sang “Jesus Loves Me” to her.

What a beautiful way to enter eternity.

If you pray, please pray for strength for my friend, her husband, and their three year old daughter who was very attached to Baby H. Although they knew this was in their future, they didn’t know it would be so soon. And even though they are confident their little girl is healed now–that she is more whole than she ever would have been here–their pain is extraordinarily profound. My heart is shattered for them.

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

Amen. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

I am, quite frankly, STUNNED. And honored. And humbled. And…well, it feels pretty awesome to know that so many people were interested in my little book. You sure know how to make an author feel good about herself, don’t you? *arm punch*

So, okay. I suppose I should announce the winners, although it’s kind of terrible to only have TWO of you. I wish I could send a free book to everyone who entered, but then I would quite literally go broke and we couldn’t pay the mortgage and that might not be the best situation ever.

In lieu of not paying my mortgage, I’ll just have to send out two books.

OUR WINNERS ARE:

Jenn Cantrell and Marsha McInnis!

*tosses confetti*    *offers pony ride*    *shoots fireworks*

If you DIDN’T win, I would be ever so pleased if you considered reading SHADOWS anyway. No pressure, obviously, because the fact that people were actually interested has already made me all giddy inside, but IF you want to read it, I’ll just leave these links here for you…

You can find SHADOWS OF THE HIDDEN in paperback on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can find e-books on Kindle and Nook.

Again, THAAAAAAANK YOU for entering this giveaway and making me feel all fancy. You are the bestest and I so appreciate your support! Congrats to the winners!

You get the idea.

I’ve always sort of waffled over how to deal with these things as an outsider. To be honest, my gut reaction is to look away. To pretend it’s not happening. To go on with my happy little life and ignore the pain that is tearing someone to shreds right next to me.

That’s right: when someone is hurting, my instinct is to look away. 

Because it’s too hard. It hurts too much. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t want to feel their suffering. I don’t want to cry for them. I don’t want to worry about painful things happening to me. I want to give my toddler a snack and turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and start dinner while my baby coos happily in her bouncy seat. I want to be blissfully immune to anyone else’s junk.

This was my attitude–until today.

See, I have an old friend who is currently enduring a situation that is so difficult, I can’t even think of a sufficient word to describe it.

Heart wrenching? Gut stabbing? They seem too cliché.

Does their pain burn? Does it sting? Does it feel like having all of your bones broken? Maybe, but even those things seem to fall short of what this family is going through.

The writer in me–that section of my brain that excels at creating images with words–is at a loss.

Without going into detail, I’ll tell you that this friend expects to lose her terminally ill infant within the next year and a half. According to the doctors, there is no stopping this disease.

There is no cure.

And as I hesitantly logged on to my friend’s Caring Bridge site, wanting to know the latest but dreading what I would find…

As I read my friend’s broken words, sagged under the weight of her grief, cried over her deep desire to watch her four-month-old baby walk and hang her school pictures on the fridge and help her with homework and buy her a Homecoming dress and show her how to put on makeup and take her to ballet lessons and so many more things she will never get to do–

Oh, I wanted to look away. I wanted to stop reading, close that window, forget I ever saw it. I wanted to pretend it’s not happening. I wanted to block it out.

But then something inside me said, No. 

It said, Don’t turn away. The last thing they need is for people to turn away. 

How dare I feel sorry for myself. How dare I think, This is too hard to read. I want to look away. I don’t want to know what is happening. 

What a repulsive response to someone else’s pain.

And so I have decided–while digging in my heels and burying my face in my hands and wishing for all the world I could just block it all out–I’ve decided to know.

I’ve decided to hurt. 

I don’t say this to toot my own horn. Lord knows I’ve spent most of my life ignoring tragedy because I simply didn’t know how to deal with it. I have a vivid memory of lying by a pool, working on my wicked tan, listening to updates on the Columbine shootings. And I remember thinking, As long as I don’t focus on this too closely, it will go away. It won’t affect my life. My routine will stay the same.

So consider my horn officially un-tooted. And screw routine.

Life is messy. This isn’t heaven. If we’re going to make it through this life, we’d better stick together. God didn’t create people so they could all hunker down in their special little bubbles and hoard everything they hold dear, hoping nothing bad will befall them.

He created us to be together. To fight together. Especially when things are so hard you don’t know how you’re going to manage another breath.

So this is it. I’m done sticking my head in the sand. I will walk with my friend and her sweet baby in any way I can. I will walk with that family that lost a child to suicide. I will walk with that girl whose husband died in a car accident. I will walk with that parent who lost their job and doesn’t know how they will feed their kids. I will walk with that woman who says goodbye to her unborn children, month after unbearable month.

I will not turn away. Not anymore.

That’s a promise.

*     *     *

In the world, you will have trouble. But take heart: I have overcome the world. 

*     *     *

Well guess what? That day has come!

This giveaway will run through Friday, April 12, at which point I will select TWO WINNERS who will receive a paperback copy of my book! (And yes, I ship international!)

Not sure the book is worth the trouble of entering? Well, let me give you a few little nuggets in the hopes that I will persuade you.

*

First, I give you: THE PLOT SUMMARY. 

Natalie Watson doesn’t believe her parents are dead, even though they disappeared five years ago. Discovering the truth about their fate is one of the only things that get her out of bed in the morning. But after moving from her home in Georgia to her aunt’s boarding school in Maine, solving the mystery of her parents’ whereabouts is just one of several challenges she must face. When she’s not fending off attacks from the popular kids, she puzzles over the rumors about a strange boy in her math class–one with fiery red hair who rarely speaks.

Despite suspicions that he murdered his sister a year earlier, Natalie finds it impossible to stay away from Liam Abernathy–especially when he confesses to knowing something about her parents. Soon she’s following him into the forest, where things happen she doesn’t understand…things that shouldn’t be possible.

Natalie soon realizes her connection to Liam is deeper than she ever imagined, and not everyone she counts as a friend can be trusted. When she finds herself at the center of a centuries-old quest for immortality, she must work with Liam to stay alive–even if it means facing a truth about herself and her family that will not only shake her perception of herself, but of the entire world around her.

*

Next up, we have: THE EXERPT. (This is the first time Liam and Natalie venture into the woods together.)

“It would be best if you stood over there.” He points towards the edge of the clearing and gives me a little push out of the magnetic center. To my surprise, I need it. My legs feel heavy and wooden, and walking to the edge of the circle is like fighting an undertow.

I turn to face him, crossing my arms. He’s still standing in the exact center of the clearing, waiting for me to give him the go–ahead.

“Okay, let’s see it,” I say, wondering for the millionth time what I’ve gotten myself into.

He closes his eyes. Every muscle in his body goes rigid. Even his breathing seems to stop. And then the air around him starts to shimmer.

I step forward, confused. “Liam?”

He doesn’t answer. The shimmering grows stronger until the air around him begins to ripple. And then he vanishes.

Liam Abernathy vanishes into thin air.

The grass he was standing on straightens back up. The woods around me are silent.

“What?” I croak. “WHAT?”

Ripples of air, another shimmer, and he’s back.

Want more? You can read a whole chapter of the book! Just click here. 

*

And finally, please enjoy THE BLURBS. 

Medeia Sharif, author of Bestest. Ramadan. Ever.:

“This novel kept me on the edge of my seat. It was quite suspenseful with a unique historical twist to the paranormal. With great characters and non-stop action, it kept me hooked until the very last page.”

Krissi Dallas, author of the Phantom Island series:

“A riveting mystery filled with realistic teenage drama, suspenseful twists, and an extraordinary quest for the truth… Anne Riley is a refreshing storyteller with the ability to keep me desperately turning those pages for more adventure!”

*

So. Have I convinced you?

Remember, even if you already have a copy (well, you rock, first of all), you can still enter and give the book to a friend! I’ll be happy to sign and personalize it for you!

Okay, if you’re ready, I’m ready! Enter away!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

AREN’T YOU EXCITED BECAUSE I AM EXCITED.

Listen, y’all know I love my babies and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, but like, we ALLLL get cabin fever when there’s no school or work. The two-year-old wants to be outside climbing and jumping and running, but the 10-week-old wants to nap in her bed because she has allergies and does not exactly appreciate the great outdoors, and Mama just wants to take a shower, and poor Daddy is at work missing us and wishing he could be home.

By 10:00, pretty much everybody is in tears.

Much like Baby J’s 2 Month picture.

We are OODLES AND OODLES HAPPIER when the two-year-old is at school with her friends and Mama is at work with HER friends and everybody gets to come home in the afternoon and watch Veggie Tales and eat some cookies. *happy sigh*

So, starting Monday, the niblets will both be learning and socializing at their sweet little school, I will be in the presence of my beloved students, and the hubs will start a brand new job.

It is a BIG DAY, grasshoppers. So big that we’ll probably need to rise extra early, put on our best Colonial clothes, and gather ’round for YE OLDE PEP TALK.

This is what came up when I searched for “pep talk” on Flickr. It was too good not to use.

Anyway.

As maternity leave wanes, I’ve collected a few tidbits from around the Internets that made me smile, laugh, or maybe throw up a little bit.

(Oh, okay. I won’t post anything that will trigger your gag reflex.)

(OR WILL I? Better stay on your toes.)

So here is the first happy thing:

Every couple months, I get a message from a former student telling me how they are doing in their college Spanish classes, or asking me about studying abroad, or maybe just throwing up a peace sign with a WHAT’S UP MRS. R?

(That last one is entirely untrue. Mostly because no one would ever call me “Mrs. R.” Because this is not an episode of Saved by the Bell.)

(Thank goodness.)

So I’ve gotten fun messages from old students before. But I have NEVER gotten a message from a former student that included a photo of her DECLARING A SPANISH MINOR because I was, and I quote, a “boss Spanish teacher.”

(To be fair, she also sent it to her old Spanish 1 teacher, who is, in fact, A BOSS at teaching Spanish. All this is probably more due to her than to me, but still, I WILL TAKE IT, THANK YOU.)

I asked this girl if I could share her photo (keeping her identity confidential with some creative cropping, of course) and she said yes. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY, YOU GUYS.

*dies*

90% of the time, teaching is a thankless job. But that other 10% just makes you want to put on some tap shoes and tap dance your way across America.

Although that sounds really tiring and sort of time-consuming, so maybe not.

Another fabulous (and slightly disturbing?) thing I recently discovered is a Tumblr by Maureen Johnson about her downstairs neighbor, whom she fondly refers to as “8A.” I couldn’t believe this was real.

Maureen also tweets about 8A. Just today, in fact, she posted the following:

Legal/lease department giving me technicalities and hassle over new apartment. I don’t think they understand…

— maureenjohnson (@maureenjohnson) March 28, 2013

…that I will BURN THEIR WORLD DOWN if they impede my move away from 8A. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DEALING WITH.

— maureenjohnson (@maureenjohnson) March 28, 2013

So let’s all send Maureen some good getting-out-of-that-apartment vibes, mmkay? Girlfriend has been there for like three years.

And then, as I promised a few of you on Twitter, here is a photo of THE MOM PURSE. Yes, I broke down and got one that is big enough to hold diapers and wipes and bulb suckers and my computer.

MY COMPUTER.

It’s kind of awesome, isn’t it? Has a little bit of a cowgirl thing going on. As if I could pull out a lasso and just WRANGLE YOU A CALF, right here and now. Which I totally could. (No I couldn’t.)

Alright, that wraps it up for today. I’m off to revise CREEPY FACES! Have a happy Thursday!