Yes. It is a picture of pants. Very cute green pants. But more specifically, it is a picture of what I like to FLY BY THE SEAT OF when I write.

However, a tragedy has befallen my pants, and I fear that my days of flying by the seat of them may have come to an end.

It is the end of an era.

A four-and-a-half-year era.

Since August 1, 2008–the day I first began to write The Clearing (which then became Shadows)–I’ve been a PANTSER.

This is good advice in most areas of life.

Now, I realize many people outside the Writer Bubble may not know what a pantser is. Basically it’s a writer whose imagination is so wildly out of control that they are incapable of outlining before writing. So while a pantser does very little work on the FRONT side of the novel and may seem to complete a first draft in no time at all, the truth of the matter is once the first draft is done, they may very well DIE before they finish revisions.

This happened to me with The Clearing / Shadows. I think I may have done 20-25 rounds of revisions on that manuscript, one of which included a MASSIVE cut (20,000 words) and a complete reconfiguration of the ending.

It happened again with Synthesis, which is the Manuscript We Shall Not Speak Of Nor Bring To The Light Of Day.

And it happened again with Pull; I don’t know how many different endings I went through before finally landing on the version that found a home with Agent Emma. No, my revisions weren’t as drastic as The Clearing, but they were still labor-intensive enough to almost make me a crazy(er) person.

AND GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS, GUESS WHAT?

Oh, yes. It is happening to me AGAIN.

Creepy Faces is one of my favorite stories EVER and yet I also hate it to the very core of its being because: 1) I did not take the time to plan out all the details before I started writing; 2) it is MUY COMPLICADO, and to think I could “figure it out” as I wrote it was the arrogantest of arrogant things to think.

Because I CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT.

However.

Thanks to a phone call with Agent Emma in which she was able to verbalize some of the concerns I’d felt deep in my Soul Region, I’ve got a much better idea of how to ground the story and keep it from turning into a story monster that grows new plot arms every time you turn around.

But it means something rather frightening. (More frightening than a story monster with spontaneously generating plot arms.)

Yes, I have to cut things. Yes, I’ll have to do A LOT more writing. But the thing that scares me the most is that I have to OUTLINE THE ENTIRE STORY.

I know, Squirrel. It makes me stress eat, too.

Because if I don’t outline, do you know what will happen? DO YOU?

I’ll get lost again. I’ll forget what happened in the first half of the book, and I’ll come up with an ending that completely contradicts something important, and I’ll have to scrap it all and do it again. And again. AND AGAIN.

So what I’m saying, Grasshoppers, is I think I’m transforming into a plotter. I’ve even begun work on a second outline for an NA contemporary that hasn’t been written yet. Not a word.

(Okay, that’s a lie, I think I have a paragraph somewhere. But I wrote that paragraph BEFORE my metamorphosis from pantser to plotter began.)

I know what some people say about plotting: it’s boring, it takes all the fun out of it, you feel like you’re at work. I get how that could be true.

But if it keeps me from running around with my hair on fire after Revision #34 in which I have deleted three characters and then realize I want one of them back but then they don’t fit in with the ending and that middle section is kind of slow and do I even need that one part with the mutant snails?

If it keeps THAT from happening, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s worth it. Although I make no guarantees, because I’m still convinced I may die of outlining. It’s such a tease, you know? Thinking of the story all the time but not actually writing it. GUH.

What do you think? Are you a pantser or a plotter, and why?

Needless to say, her story was a great inspiration to me.

Also, Krissi has the coolest hair ANYWHERE.

I read Windchaser soon after exchanging emails with Krissi, and I loved, LOVED, the story. Mystery? Check. Summer camp setting, rife with opportunities for flirting and romantic misunderstandings? Check. Alternate world with attractive guys? Check, check, CHECK.

Watermark, the fourth installment of the YA fantasy Phantom Island series by Krissi Dallas, is finally releasing this fall–and I get to help reveal the cover! Ready?

I just ADORE her covers. They are so vibrant, yet clean and simple. PERFECTION.

If you haven’t jumped on board this island adventure full of magic, mystery, and romance, now is your chance–because this cover reveal comes with a GIVEAWAY for U.S. residents!

Enter to win an autographed Phantom Island trilogy pack, an autographed copy of Watermark when it releases, a tribal t-shirt, or an autographed copy of The Collector by debut author Victoria Scott! The giveaway will be open for entries until Friday, June 14.

You can enter through the Rafflecopter at the end of this post, but FIRST, Grasshoppers, let me introduce you to Watermark by Krissi Dallas!

*          *          *

Excerpt:

I stared at her in frustration. “What is with you?!” I exploded. She was not acting like my best friend. Like my Morgan. “You’ve been so different this summer, and I don’t get it!”

“Well, you’ve been different too! People change, you know,” she snapped back.

“If I’ve changed, fine. But at least I’m still honest with you. You, however, have turned into a liar! If we don’t have trust between us, then what do we have, Morgan?”

*          *          *

Plot Synopsis:

Relationships on the White Island are volatile and Whitnee, Morgan, and Caleb aren’t sure who they can trust—even each other. Politicians are lying, history is being rewritten, and motives are questionable. Whitnee sets out with Gabriel and a band of rebel spies to take back the enemy’s biggest weapon—Whitnee’s father. However, a shocking turn of events proves once again that the Island’s secrets have the power to destroy more than just the truth. Separated from her friends, Whitnee battles her own fears in order to survive and protect the ones she loves. But when Morgan’s illness finally comes to light, Whitnee faces a decision that could alter her future—and Morgan’s—forever. And whether she ultimately stays on the Island or leaves might not be her choice, after all.

*          *          *

 “…[An] earnest tale of magic and romance that deals with the great distance between pain and recovery.” –Kirkus Reviews (Windchaser, Phantom Island Book 1)

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Meet the Author:

Krissi Dallas loves pop music, mismatched socks, and fried chicken. She lives in Fort Worth, Texas with her youth minister husband, Sam, and their two wicked Yorkies, Elphie and Luna. Krissi enjoys hanging out with her quirky middle school students and building the dramatic, magical, and mysterious world that makes up the Phantom Island series. Be sure to check out Windchaser, Windfall, and Watercrossing. Krissi loves connecting with teens, as well as readers and writers of all ages! You can stalk her online at www.KrissiDallas.com.

 Okay! Ready to enter the giveaway? OF COURSE YOU ARE. (Quick reminder: this is open to U.S. residents only.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

We stumbled through May like a criminal who’s been pepper sprayed and then thrown into an obstacle course. By the time finals rolled around, everybody had one foot out the door and one in the classroom, and we were all just praying for it to end, GOOD GRIEF, PLEASE LET IT END.

And then it did.

May 23 was our last day of exams. I KNOW, most of the country gets out about three weeks later, right? But we go back mid-August, so it’s all the same. Personally, I’d rather get done before Memorial Day. Spring semester is a special kind of brutal and August around here is as hot as the ninth layer of hell, so you might as well be inside an air-conditioned building making lesson plans.

ANYWAY.

Here are a few other things May held for the Family Riley:

–We got our air ducts cleaned out and THEY FOUND MOLD IN SEVERAL PLACES. I realize this is a super boring piece of information, but if any of you feel like you (or your children) are constantly coughing and sneezing and just generally feeling poor, I highly suggest you have your ducts cleaned. Especially if you, like us, have just moved into an older house. You never know WHAT could be hiding in the ductwork. (Mooooooold!)

Wow, isn’t this beautiful? It’s like a piece of Japanese artwork. I wish I could hang it on my DON’T YOU DARE HANG THIS ANYWHERE IN YOUR HOUSE. IT IS MOLD AND IT WILL KILL YOU. KIILLLLL YOUUUUU.

–We survived our very first lice infestation! The two-year-old and I were the only ones infected, but after a thorough wash with RID and some intense laundering of everything in our house, we managed to avoid becoming zombies. However, we also did not develop any superpowers, so the whole thing was kind of disappointing.

(Speaking of zombies, I’ve mentioned to Rob several times that if Earth ever falls prey to a zombie apocalypse, I’m going to TRY to get infected. Who wants to be a survivor in that situation? NOT ME.)

I would totally just throw myself into the mass and let them devour me. For realz.

–I just, as in five minutes ago, emailed CREEPY FACES to Agent Emma!!! The good news is, she is a magician (no, really) and will help me whip that thing into shape. The bad news is, I couldn’t finish it before I sent it to her. Because I cannot look at it anymore. Because it has turned my brain to popcorn.

(Maybe THAT’S how zombies are made. They’re all writers who slave over the same manuscript until they’re covered in lesions and start lumbering around, latching onto random objects and mumbling about braaaaaaainnnnssssss.)

(Seems probable.)

So I’m forcing myself to take a writing hiatus for at least a week. My next book is a contemporary, and as I’ve never written a contemporary novel before, I am SUPER excited to start it.

But not now.

For now, I must recover from Popcorn Brain.

I hope to lurk here on the blog a bit more often now that Creepy Faces is out of my hands for a while. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Happy Summer!

SUMMER! WOOOOOOOOOO!

*cracks whip*

Anyway.

Listen, ya’ll, I don’t do book reviews. I don’t rate books on Goodreads, I don’t talk about books very much here on the blog, and I rarely find a book that warrants a substantial amount of publicity on my part.

UNTIL NOW.

“Well, it’s official: I’m in love with this book. Sophie Hudson is hilariously appreciative of her very Southern roots, and she shares tales of all the experiences (and the lovably eccentric relatives!) that shaped her. Threads of love, family, and faith hold the stories together, but it’s Sophie’s laugh-at-life humor that sings forth from every page. She writes as if you’re sitting on her front porch drinking a tall glass of sweet tea, and it’s impossible not to come away from each chapter without feeling like you know her a little better. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun reading a book.”

–Ree Drummond, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Pioneer Woman Cooks

 

No big deal, her book just got blurbed by THE FREAKING PIONEER WOMAN.

I KNOW. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING.

Here’s the great thing about this book and its author: Sophie is a personal friend of mine. Not just through the Twitter (although sometimes, those Twitter relationships feel just about as solid as anything else); she’s a friend in REAL. LIFE.

Sophie’s been blogging since 2005 and let me just tell you that she has QUITE the dedicated following. Any time she links to something I’ve written here, I know she’s done it before I even see her post because my website hits pretty much septuple.

(I’m guessing that’s what it’s called when something is multiplied by seven, but even if it’s not, I’m totally going to keep saying that because oh my goodness has there ever been a more fun word EVER?)

(Septuple.)

(Try it. Say it out loud. You can’t do it without smiling just a little bit.)

Back when I started my publishing journey, Sophie was intrigued and followed my progress every step of the way. When I asked if she would ever consider writing a book, she waved me off with a hearty GRACIOUS NO, or something along those lines. “I just don’t have a book in me,” she claimed. “I just don’t. No. I’ll never write one. I just couldn’t do it.”

Well. As it turns out, Sophie DID have a book in her. And it’s quite a fine book, indeed.

I KNEW IT, SOPHIE.

A LITTLE SALTY TO CUT THE SWEET is a collection of stories about Sophie’s family. It is hilarious and moving and just the best thing ever. Southern, witty, charming… okay, all those words sound really cliche and inferior to this book’s awesomeness. I just can’t even.

It’s so good, I rated it five stars on Goodreads. (Again: I DON’T RATE BOOKS.)

It’s so good, I’m blogging about it right now. (Again: I DON’T BLOG ABOUT BOOKS.)

And it’s so good, I’m going to post the book trailer here for your enjoyment. (And listen, even if you have no interest in the book itself, please PLEASE watch this trailer just so you can hear Sophie’s delightful southern voice. I hear it every day, but OH, it makes me smile.)

Here are just a few quotes from the book:

“In the South we adore grandmamas. We even give them funny names: MiMi, Shug, Honey–and that’s just the tip of the MeMaw iceberg.”

“What can I say? I’m a people pleaser. If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“It’s important to acknowledge that whenever we quote a passage from ‘The Message’ translation, the ESV totally rolls its eyes.”

YOU GUYS. THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD. *grabs your collar* *shakes*

Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to get forceful like that. By all means, please excuse me.

So after you read Sophie’s book, you should hop on over to her blog and read up on all her goings-on. She’s one of the best writers I know, and her blog posts will have you rolling. Especially this one about taking her mother-in-law to “the Steinmarts.”

So there you have it. Hope your Monday is exceedingly kind, and I’ll see you soon.

Yes, this is me.

We’ve got a grand total of three weeks left in school, and let me just tell you we here at the high school are FEELING. IT.

Are you feeling it? The approach of summer in all its green-grassed, sweaty-faced glory? WHO’S READY TO GO TO THE ZOO AND LOOK AT SOME OVERHEATED ANIMALS?

*raises hand*

Anyway.

This is the time of year when several things happen simultaneously:

1) I begin a vigorous and unrealistic scrub-down of my entire house (complicated this year by the toddler AND infant who insist on pooping on things and tossing their toys about);

2) I purchase an assortment of binders and color-coded tab dividers with the goal of organizing my school junk ONCE AND FOR ALL, and

3) I start outlining a new book.

Yes! A NEW BOOK!

Also me.

If you’ve been around here for a while (bless your heart), you may remember me talking about my Irish Gangster Book.

This is not that book.

My Irish Gangsters are going on the shelf in favor of a Shiny New Idea. I’m not quite ready to talk about the SNI just yet because it’s still very much in the planning stages, but I will tell you I am, once again, attempting an outline.

*sigh*

I know.

The “I’m trying to outline” thing is almost as tired as the “I’m trying to get in shape” thing, isn’t it?

(PS: I’m trying to get in shape. But I’m not ready to talk about that, either. Suffice it to say THIS is involved.)

Not me.

(I would say the whole operation is doomed from the start, but there’s a lot riding on my successful completion of The Shred, so… perhaps all is not lost.)

(Perhaps.)

So I’m trying to outline this new book before I write it. Either it will help me get my first draft done in record time, or it will suck all the creativity out of my soul and leave me with a dry, dusty book-shaped thing.

Only time will tell.

What’s new with you? Are you looking forward to summer? What do you plan to DO this summer? Are you going anywhere? Cleaning your house? Do you outline your books before you write them? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Leave me a comment and answer some of them, eh? THANKS! I luuurve you!

I might look calm on the outside, but on the inside I am screaming I WILL BURN DOWN THE BUILDING.

March 20: We took our then-9-week-old Baby J to the emergency room for extreme congestion. Girlfriend was having trouble breathing and kept coughing till she threw up. To relieve the congestion, two full-grown men had to hold her down and essentially vacuum out her sinuses. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I CAN’T EVEN.

To Baby J’s credit, she timed a hacking cough PERFECTLY and got us admitted before everybody else.

April 15: My husband went to the emergency room with symptoms of appendicitis. After a couple hours curled up on a waiting room bench with a trash can placed strategically below his mouth and paling to an Edward Cullen-esque shade of BLAH, we discovered his appendix was fine, but his colon had a VICIOUS germ. Morphine and Phenergan ensued. While he slept in a drug-induced state, I watched the Boston bombings unfold on Twitter. Rough day for everybody.

This is not what he looked like on that waiting room bench. I just thought you might want to see how handsome he is.

April 25: Our 2-year-old fell down half a flight of wooden steps in our garage. She hit her head at least three or four times and then crashed into the concrete floor below. We took her to the emergency room to make sure she didn’t have head trauma or something else horrible. She came away from the whole thing with just a few scrapes and bruises. As one of my students said today, small children must be made of rubber.

We’ll pretend this was our reaction to StairFall 2013. The reality, of course, was much more… explosive.

So after all this I would just like to say THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH, 2013.

As you can imagine, we are hoping and praying and raindancing that no one will be hospitalized for a while. MAMA NEEDS A BREAK. So does Daddy. And while we’re at it, could we maybe take the world drama down just a notch?

Sheesh.

Sometimes, life only makes sense after you’ve seen a picture of a bunny in a dress. Wouldn’t you agree?

You’re welcome.

Here’s to the approach of May: a new, potentially hospital-free month.

HOW’S THAT FOR A MENTAL IMAGE?

“All these people are at the zoo to see us, Carl. They don’t even know we’re robots. Should we just eat them immediately? What do we do?”
“We wait, Larry. We wait. When the time is right, you will know.”
*evil giraffe laughter*

Look, it’s the best picture I could find. YOU try Googling “rotten banana robot giraffe” and see if you find anything good.

Seriously, the past eight days, I just…I can’t even. So much crap.

Today, though, I decided I didn’t want to let The Sads get to me. I didn’t want to let them steal the joy of my healthy husband and children, my excellent friends, my amazing life.

So I’m punching The Sads in the face.

JOIN ME, WON’T YOU?

There. I feel better.

Today I want to share a few things that have relieved the general sucktasticness of this week, because if there’s any time to focus on the GOOD, this would be that time.

First, I’ve been reading DELIRIUM by Lauren Oliver and I loooooooove, LOOOOOVE it. Yes, it is dystopian fiction, so if you’re tired of oppressive governments and weird/illogical laws meant to control society and grassroots rebellions, this book might not be for you.

But if you’re not tired of those things, GET THEE TO A NEARBY BOOK ESTABLISHMENT and find yourself a copy. It is wonderfully written and the entire series is out. Yay!

Secondly, my two-year-old tried cashews for the first time yesterday. So far, she has referred to them as “ashoos” and “Katie shoes.” This, I feel, is excellent. I do not plan to correct her.

KATIE SHOES!

And finally, the Divergent movie is actually BEING FILMED! In CHICAGO! And if you have not heard, we have a FOUR!

People keep saying he’s too old. I say, MOVIE MAGIC CAN FIX ANYTHING. Leave Theo alone. He will be a great Four.

YAY FOUR.

Oh, and before I leave, I should tell you I am dangerously close to finishing Creepy Faces. Like, daaaaaangerously close. And also I cleaned our bathroom today. Sadly, this is a huge feat for me, so I feel I should share the victory.

Please take a moment to throw this handful of confetti.

*waits*

Thank you. Now please sweep it up. I just cleaned, after all.

*waits*

Excellent. You’re quite a good sweeper, you know.

Anyway…forward and onward, Grasshoppers. We should all lounge around tonight, eating chocolate and reading a good book, pausing only to hug our loved ones.

Have a wonderful, calamity-free week.

You may remember the friend I wrote about only a couple weeks ago in this post. Yesterday morning, her precious baby girl went to be with her Father in heaven. She passed away in her parents’ arms as they sang “Jesus Loves Me” to her.

What a beautiful way to enter eternity.

If you pray, please pray for strength for my friend, her husband, and their three year old daughter who was very attached to Baby H. Although they knew this was in their future, they didn’t know it would be so soon. And even though they are confident their little girl is healed now–that she is more whole than she ever would have been here–their pain is extraordinarily profound. My heart is shattered for them.

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

Amen. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.