"Dear Self, I Love You and Here's Why"

Dear Self: The Battle is Over

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Wed, 14 Oct 2026 16:42:03 +0000

Dear Self,

It has been twelve years now since we last spoke here. However, I want to be firm right out of the gate: THE BATTLE IS OVER! The last time we were writing, it was about reframing survivorship and victimology into a champion mindset. So exactly what is different now, after all this time? Why are we here? What brought us together again? I'm glad you asked.

Eighteen months ago, the reality of a life-altering surgery was at the forefront of our mind. The pure idea of it was so terrifying that our blood pressure spiked, blood sugars went out of control, and the weight skyrocketed. The mere notion of once again having surgery was overwhelming. The surgery was necessary just to "survive" the day, but surviving is not what we are about, right? We are champions. How did we get here? Well, everything in life comes in seasons, or so wisdom has taught me. And wisdom, my dear, sweet self, only comes through experience.

Long after the battle was over, I found myself still wearing that same heavy battle armor. Afraid to put it down and finally be "free." Asking myself, "Can this really be true? Is it really over?" Yes, it is. But here's the tricky part we did not know. There still exists a little inner person called the primal brain. The one whose job it is to keep us safe. The one who is always scanning, always alerting to danger, or potential dangers—whether those threats were real or just perceived. You see, Self, we entered a whole new season of life: the season of nervous system regulation and somatic rewiring.

Unbeknownst to us, there was a hidden issue lying underneath the journey through the battlefield of the past. While the surgery was a so-called simple "Total Knee Replacement," to us it was the culmination of all the trauma and pain of the past. The immense physical pain that we had been enduring over the years came to a screeching halt, and the time had come to face reality. What looked to us like thriving and championing our way out of a horrific past was actually a survival loop. That is not to say we did not have moments of thriving, or that we were hypocritical in those days. Not at all. We actually did and said things correctly. But this knee surgery brought a whole new season of healing into the present. A much-needed one, I might add.

Somatic rewiring, the vagus nerve, and vagal toning are not new concepts to us. We were already doing that with the horses. That is the trauma recovery work we do! So why did it hit so hard when we were so rudely thrust into it ourselves? Well, it all comes down to how the nervous system processes fight-or-flight and basic trauma responses—especially those that have been so ingrained for such a long time, like ours. While the battle was over, our system had not really had the opportunity to realize it was behind us. Everything was still very chaotic, even if it was a good kind of chaotic.

Then came the period of immense grief and loss. Once the pieces of armor started to come off, the desire to pick them back up was almost too great. But the weight was just too much, and the body finally said, "ENOUGH!"

So, Dear Self, here we are. Fast forward to eighteen months post-surgery, finding ourselves more regulated than ever, but still perplexed by the awkwardness of it all. For the first time in so many years of merely existing on this planet, not really knowing how much pain we truly were in, we are finally saying, "It's Over!" The battle has been won, the armor comes off, and we now get to find our peace one "pain-free" step at a time. At whatever pace we choose.

This, dear sweet Annie, is what nervous system rewiring and regulation look like. Finding pockets of peace however and wherever you choose them to be. Seasons come, and seasons go. But we are now on the journey toward peace... and we are doing this together. Only we can choose to take that Heroic Leap forward, and only we can choose to put a Divine Shield around us. Nobody can do that for us.

And we are reminded every day, as believers of faith in Jesus Christ, that He is here for us:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28–30 NIV)

So fear not, and rest in this time of renewal. Dear Self, I Love You, and this is WHY!

Annie :)

Creating Your Own Joy!

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Sat, 27 Dec 2014 17:56:00 +0000

Creating Your Own Joy!

View on YouTube

So I have been away for quite some time now. Even the most positive people have lapses in their lives. I have often said that my life is very dynamic and not at all static, Ever changing whether I choose it to be or now. I have, however, learned to overcome most of the obstacles that are thrown my way by learning to leap. Sometimes though I trip...leaded me to feel very lost and abandoned. It can be good for the soul to take time away to reflect. So, I did just that...

Recently, I met some people who too are very positive orientated. Just meeting them and being in their light made me feel uplifted. I know how or why just that it was. That's all I need to come out of the darkness and back into the light.

Christmas has always been a bit difficult on my spirit so this year I decided to make my own joy. I creating a light show to celebrate the season. Something I have wanted to do for a very long time. Now that the season is past, and I MADE IT through it unharmed I am excited to back blogging. I have included a link to my Christmas Spirit play list on my YouTube channel for anyone who would like to share in the feeling. I hope to continue these lights shows in the future, but I will do what I can as always.

I don't know where my blogging will take me in the new year, but I hope I can provide positive, and uplifting advice/information to those of you who need a little boost. I do know that no matter what it will be helpful for me to write no matter what. Just know that we all struggle from time to time. It does take dedication to stay positive, but it is do-able.

Many Blessings and a Very Happy New Year!

Hugs,
Annie :)

Fear of Public Speaking

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 18:45:00 +0000

Do You Fear Public Speak Too?

Over the last few months I have been on an extending holiday. After writing/publishing my book, and my radio show I needed some time to myself. Or so I thought...Thankfully and gratefully I have been receiving just the right amount of radio interview requests. For those of you who have been keeping up with me you know that public speaking, socializing, or any kind of human contact is not my favorite thing to do. Not that I don't like people. I love people; I just don't always enjoy the way being with other people makes me feel. As I have said for some time now this is all a learning process on my journey. We all travel a path in life, and each is unique that individual.

However, it is very necessary to discuss my book, and get the word out to those who may benefit from the information it provides. By now I have gained the feeling of "old hat" whenever I step to the phone for one of these amazing interview opportunities. I realize that this too is part of my on going journey to be healthier. I was reminded of something a mind coach said to me once in a pin I found...

This is crucial when evaluating how I feel about things. Do I still get a bit "gittery", sweaty, and nervous before the phone rings? Yes! However, I treat it like excitement rather than fear now.

Most people are afraid of public speaking because they are overly concerned about what those people listening will think of them, or judge them by. Most of these people are strangers so the need to care is only in the mind of fear in my opinion. Thus I can vanquish fear quickly and easily now.

When you are faced with a public speak opportunity treat it as it is. It is merely an opportunity to guide, or educate someone else on a subject your are familiar with. Simple as that. In fact, I don't prepare for my interviews other than to make myself comfortable. I do them "on the fly". After all, the subject material is something I know a lot about so there is no real need to practice anything. If you need notes, or run through then I would surmise the subject material is not that familiar to you, and you should learn more about it prior to speaking on it. I'm not judging here, just stating that the more familiar it is to you the easier it is to talk about, thus relieving the pressure that causes fear.

So...the next time you are faced with a public speaking engagement try having fun with it. Most of the people there don't have the knowledge you have on the subject or they would not be there anyway. You have that advantage starting out. We all make mistakes, and I messed up all the time. I just laugh and go on knowing that the mistakes remind me that I'm alive!

Hope you the best in your endeavors! Blessings friends!
Annie :)

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement Part 6

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 22:24:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part 6

Closing Line

Congratulations…you have reached the end of this exercise; the closing sentence of your personal purpose statement. This is where you find a single sentence that completes the journey. Your closing purpose is the last thing you want to remind yourself to stay in balance with your entire statement.

Mine: “To leave this world better off than I entered it!”

Whatever you need to say to remind yourself of what you are working towards.

Once you have created all of these lines you know have to put them together as one full statement. This is not something you need to commit to memory as that can produce apathy about it. Rather, I like to refer back to it and refresh my mind to the exact words from time to time. Your goal is to know the idea of your purpose. If for any reason you lose balance you can look back at your entire statement and remind yourself of where you are and where you are headed.

Now that you have created your “Personal Purpose Statement” print it out and post it where you can look at it from time to time. However, remember not to become complacent or apathetic about it. Again, congratulations on your success! Should you have any issues with the process you can comment to me on Facebook, and I will do my very best to assist you along the way.

I wish you all the love and blessing on your journey to self-empowerment. Live fearlessly!

Annie

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement Part 5

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Wed, 21 Aug 2013 15:24:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part 5

A Positive Contribution

Now we move into the part where we decide what kind of positive contribution we want to make. This can be sharing knowledge, wisdom, encouragement to others, or anything you feel will leave a positive mark on this planet that will live on through others.

What is kind of contribution can you make that will leave a positive impact and wake behind you for the betterment of all?

This is actually the easiest for me because I have always been this kind of person so I found my words comfortable.

Again this is a single sentence that encompasses your positive contribution, or contributions.

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Wed, 14 Aug 2013 23:41:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part 4

Intentions and Motives

Now we move on to the next line. This is where a list comes in handy. Make a list with two columns. The list will be all the positive intentions and motivations you have in life. Columns 1 will be all the things that are important to you. Column 2-all the things you want to accomplish in your lifetime that are positive. One way of looking at this is would be to ask, “What do I want to be remembered for?”

Make sure to create as long of a list as you can. The more information you put down the better you can write the next line. Don’t limit yourself on ideas or creativity.

This exercise takes several days for some people so again schedule time to do this when you won’t be interrupted. Allow plenty of time to create a full list to draw from.

Once you have created that list you now need to look over all the information in front of you and come up with another line that consists of a positive intention. Something you plan to do that is a one-line sentence of action.

Ex: “To do no intentional harm to others” The motive or intention here is to be kind and no inflict pain on others while achieving my purpose.

Work out a sentence that works for you and makes sense with your motives and intentions. You are the author of your life, but remember what is most important for you to be remembered for.

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Mon, 12 Aug 2013 16:32:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part 3

First Line-Integration of Header

Now we will be taking the header statement and integrating it into a sentence that will constitute the first line of your statement. Your first line is an affirmation of positive action.

Ex: I am a courageous person and I will use my courage to aid others.

Whatever you decide on for your header will become part of your first sentence of purpose. It becomes a positive action statement as well.

Mine is: “I am a powerful woman, who purpose is to help restore the balance and harmony that has been striped of this world”.

My action is to restore “balance” and “harmony”. These are the key actions in my first line.

This may take some time to complete. I had some difficulty coming up with this first line allow space to be creative on this. Whatever you decide it must be a positive action. You also need to consider that whatever you write here must be something that can serve you no matter what your current or future circumstance are or will be. Don’t make a statement that has to continually be revisited. This is a statement that will serve for your lifetime. However, should you find yourself re-creating it down the road that’s fine. I prefer to create just one if at all possible.

Developing Your Personal Purpose Statement-Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 18:20:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part 2

Header Affirmation

Now that you have created your list of gratefuls it is time to begin the very fist line of your personal purpose statement.

The Header as an affirmation:

Think of an affirmation for yourself. What statement makes you feel good about yourself? Pick something that is 3 or 4 words in length as this is just a short, but powerful affirmation.

Ex: Your Name__________You’re Amazing!

Ex: Your Name__________You Are Strong!

Ex: Your Name__________You Are Courageous!

And so on. Find an affirmation that makes you feel really good. Put your name first and the affirmation. Also, make sure that everything is in upper case so that it is a Header at the top of your statement page.

Once you have created the header you will then create the first line of your statement. Create your Affirmation header now.

"Developing Your Personal Purpose Statement-Part I" Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Wed, 07 Aug 2013 14:20:00 +0000

Developing a Personal Purpose Statement

Part I

Attitude of Gratitude

I am revisiting this subject from the book because I feel we have no fully covered the topic well enough for everyone to complete the task. So here we go…

Begin with an attitude of gratitude by listing 3-5 things you are truly grateful for:

1. I am grateful for…

Ex: I am grateful for a loving spouse (regardless whether they are or not!)

2. I am grateful for…

Ex: I am grateful that the sun is shining today.

3. I am grateful for…

Ex: I am grateful for the friends who love me.

And so on.

By listing the things you are grateful for you are creating a positive space in our mind to harbor feeling of gratitude. You must be in a positive place mentally to write a positive purpose statement.

Begin by clearing a space in your mind to be at peace. Tune out all the noise that is distracting you, and turn off the internal dialogue. This is your time and your time only.

If you find yourself struggling to create the space for yourself don’t stress. You may need to try again at another time. However, I would encourage you to schedule this time for yourself.

Have a piece of paper, your note taking app on your phone, or whatever device you prefer for documenting. You will need to refer back to this information in the next set of exercises so don’t lose them!

Remember that this is an exercise in what you are grateful for, and not what you are “not” grateful for. Don’t allow yourself to say things like, “I am grateful such and such didn’t happen, or so in so didn’t whatever”. You want to be grateful for anything that you have or don’t current have in your life. You are bringing the things you want into your life and maintaining them by being grateful for having them. In other words, you are manifesting the things you want in your personal life to exist.

So…begin with 3-5 things you are grateful for now. Create that time to do so, and we will move to the next step in creating your personal purpose statement.

Enjoy and Many Blessings!

Annie

Fear: Does it Dictate Your Life?

noreply@blogger.com (Annie) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:22:00 +0000

In light of the recent current events I decide it was time to discuss the subject of Fear. Fear is nothing more than an imagination of something you perceive will happen that hasn't happened yet. This idea came from my mindset coach Sam who was instrumental in helping me to see the reality rather than the perception I was creating in my own mind.

Often times, we find ourselves so afraid to go out into the world and experience new things because of unrealistic fear. This means that we are afraid to face what we perceive to be reality when really what we are afraid of is the imagination of something that hasn't even happened. I can say this firsthand, because I have done the same thing myself.

For many years after my car accident I was what I termed, "Agoraphobic". I was never diagnosed with it, but I was deathly afraid to go outside of my own house. This fear was due to the imagination I had created where I would get locked out, become disoriented, or hurt in some way. The feeling became so overwhelming I was unable to drive a car. This is no way to live life. Once I came to terms with the difference between perception and reality I was able to overcome the debilitating fear, and get back out into the world.

There are obvious reasons we need to be mindful of our surroundings, and events. However, we do not need to live in fear of them. This kind of imagination can often times lead to things coming true because we actually make them happen ourselves. I know some of you are saying, "I didn't make that happen, or do that to myself!" Sorry, but if you continue to focus on a thing happening often you create the frequency and the path for it to manifest in your life. It happen to me so I am speaking form experience. We have to except that life is going on around us, and if we are mindful of the "pitfalls" and risks associated with living we can avoid some of the unpleasantness that comes from the balance in life. Don't allow yourself to sit around and worry about something happening, but rather be proactive in ways to avoid what you can. An example would be something like worrying what would happen if the bank shut down, and you couldn't get to your money...then take the time to remove an appropriate amount as you can and put in a safe place for such an emergency. Another would be fear that someone might "steal" or take your lunch from the office fridge...so take the time to mark your name on our lunch with indications that it is yours and not to be removed. Simply taking the time to avoid unpleasant situations is much more productive than to worry "if" they might happen.

When you feel fear do you respond with positive affirmation, or do you lean towards the negatives? Well, the best thing to do is to evaluate whether you fear is real, or imagined. Real fear is a fight or flight response to true danger in your life, imagined fear is created by imbedded thoughts or ideas. Evaluate which is true for you in the moment. Obviously if you are physically running from something then you have encountered a "real" threat and should not stop running until you have reached adequate safety. If you are thumbing through "what if's" in you head then it is most likely an imagination fear. Let it go! It hasn't happened and most likely won't. To go over "Pros and Cons" lists, and discern proper decisions for your life is not imagination fears. It is the process of making good sound decisions. Imagination fear is thinking the worst case scenarios, and the worst thing that can happen. Don't do this to yourself. It encourages uncertainty, which in turn creates doubt. My friend Jared says, "The antidote to doubt is certainty!" I believe it!

Recently I found myself in a situation where my imagination fear had crept back in. Unless were are on guard we can find ourselves falling back into old habits. It's not often that I find myself feeling fear, but when I do I'm quicker to catch it now. My imagination fear comes in the form of me asking myself a variety of questions relating to how I could become hurt, or experience emotional pain. These days I feel that I am a bit more sensitive to emotional pain than I used to be. I still have a thick skin, but I am much more sensitive than I used to be. This is not a bad thing to be sensitive in a compassionate sort of way.

To deal with this fear I simply took the time to remind myself that everything I was feeling was nothing more than imagination; fear is not real! I continued to affirm that I'm a strong individual, and that I was not going to be injured in any way whatsoever by any decision I was making that would improve the quality of my life. I do my very best to approach everything in life with a positive attitude, and a positive outlook. So the best thing that I could do in this situation was to remind myself that good things will come to me as long as I continue to be positive, and stay on a positive frequency attracting positive things into my life.

This may sound foreign to some people, but I assure you that you will feel a whole lot better when you face fear from a position of empowerment. Fear isn't real! Sounds funny doesn't it? I used to think the same. However, with a lot of practice and implementation I have learned to overcome and conquer imagination fear. I have also learned the difference between perception and reality. Perception is what I perceive to happen, and reality is what actually is happening. Once you know the difference between the two it is easily to discern whether your fear is real or an imagined perception.

How does sensationalized media events affect your perception. Does it increase your imagined fears? Do you find yourself glued to the tv? Do you log on to social media sites to find out whether others are worse off than you? These are all very legitimate ways of dealing with imagined fear, but they are not healthy for you to engage in. There is a need for validation of what we are feeling so we can find ourselves caught up in the excitement. The best thing you can do for yourself is to realize that the events are not directly affecting you, (Providing they are not...I will deal with it if it is in a moment), and reaffirm the reality that exists for your current situation. Don't allow yourself to get wrapped up in the negative that can be generated by mass media coverage, and sensationalism that stems from that. You can stay in touch with current events, but continue on a positive path. If you find yourself feeling the need to get involved do so in a manner that helps those who may need it. Volunteer, or donate to the cause in a positive way. This helps others, and helps you too. Don't fall into the fear mode, but rather the tangible mode of philanthropist instead. Philanthropy is not only monetary either. Giving of yourself in anyway that is positive and has a positive outcome is a good thing.

On the other hand, if you indeed are part of the the current events and they are directly affecting you it is important to get a real handle on what is the reality of your situation. Evaluate your surroundings, and discern what is the truth. No matter what the situation is the only way you can benefit yourself is to know the difference between what is real and what is imagination. The things you can do something about then do something about them, the ones you can not leave them behind you. It does no good to lament over things that you can not change. Pain, and grief are a normal part of life. Pain is usually the first to set in, and then grief. Get a strong hold on the stages of grief and let them pass as they should. Don't allow yourself to stop grief from happening, because all in all it will happen whether you want it to or not. I prefer to pass through the stages as quickly as I can so as not to develop any unrealistic fears by "stalling out" in any one stage or the other. I have experienced grief to a grand scale in my life, and I have felt the result of rage when I was unwilling to allow grief to pass. Trust me when I tell you the rage was far worse pain than any of the grief I felt. So, don't do it! Remember...life is about balance. Take the good with the bad, and be a better person for it who can help others see the truth.

"Live with Purpose and Empowerment!"

Blessings and I wish you all the very best life has to offer you; you deserve it!

Annie :)