Annie's Savvy Cafe

How is Norma?

2010-01-20T16:13:03-08:00

A friend of mine e-mailed me this cute little story and I had to share because I know a lot of readers will be able to relate......ENJOY!

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,

"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied,
"Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.."

The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said,
"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."

This is how my brain works....

2009-12-18T15:29:41-08:00

or shall I say, this is how my brain doesn't work. Right after Thanksgiving, I was remembering that a dear friend of mine had a birthday coming up in the first half of December. The 10th to be exact. Well, I knew it was coming and I planned everyday what cutesy little thing I could do, either by posting on my blog or by Facebooking something. She doesn't like a big fuss, but she certainly deserves to be recognized on her birthday, especially since she is older than me, ha ha!! That is my favorite part of her birthday.

Well, you know Facebook does everything it can to remind you of these upcoming birthdays short of reaching out and slapping you in the face, and all week prior to the 10th I was wishing it wasn't reminding me because I was doing a fabulous job of remembering all by myself and I wanted the credit. I was so pleased with myself and that doesn't happen very often. I didn't want her thinking the only reason I remembered was because Facebook reminded me.

Well, the 10th of December came and went and I couldn't for the life of me tell you what I was doing all day, except completely forgetting someone's birthday. Even Facebook wasn't good enough to trigger me that day. Now, the way I see it, I though of her for weeks in advance, and now I think of her everyday while trying to figure out how I forgot her. Maybe the moral of the story is that I really do think of her much more often than just on her birthday (obviously) and I hope she has some normal friends that helped her celebrate that particular special day that managed to elude me one way or another.

A brain fart (jocularly derived from "brainstorm")^[1] is slang for a special kind of abnormal brain activity human error while performing a repetitive task,^[2]^[3] or more generally denoting a degree of mental laxity or any task-related forgetfulness, such as forgetting how to hold a fork. Tom Eichele, a neuroscientist at the University of Bergen in Norway, was part of an international team of researchers who identified evidence that the brain fart is detectable in brain scans up to 30 seconds before the mistake is actually made. The researchers suspect the abnormal behavior is the result of the brain attempting to save effort on a task by entering a more restful state. The scientists detailed their findings on 21 April 2008 online in the journal which results in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The scientific term they gave the phenomenon is "maladaptive brain activity change

Happy Birthday Malia!!!!!!

You know I love ya!!! Everyday!!

An Actual Craig's List Personal Ad

2009-12-12T18:38:45-08:00

One of my savvy readers asked that I share this with everyone. I don't know how true this story is, but I would like to think it is possible that someone actually thought to handle this situation in this manner...

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last,

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 am, E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that somehow you come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head...isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, --on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful.

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie's Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. (That made his day). I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb...after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's up with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you...but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and I can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully,

Alex

Funnies from court...

2009-11-30T13:29:07-08:00

One of my savvy readers sent me this funny little piece of literature so I thought I would share with all...

These cross-examinations, are taken from a book, called ‘Disorder in the Court ‘.
They are statements made in court, purportedly, word for word, taken down at the time, and published now by Court Reporters, who had the torment to stay calm, and controlled, while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

----------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

----------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do..
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

--------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.

--------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr… Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was a live when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Private Quarters

2009-11-19T11:57:40-08:00

Private Quarters is the nation's premier direct selling company focused on high quality linens for the bed and bath. I was introduced to Private Quarters by a dear friend of mine who has become an Independent Comfort Consultant for them. She highly recommends the products and stands by the quality and customer service that the company provides. I myself have browsed through the PQ catalog and could easily buy something from every page. But....this is the season for giving to others, so I am trying to limit my purchases to gifts for my friends and family.

My friend and personal PQCC (Private Quarters Comfort Consultant) was very generous (and sneaky) and sent me one of the Satin Reversible Robes as a gift. It is unbelievably soft and luxurious and makes me feel like I am in my own little spa getaway. As a matter of fact, I plan to redecorate my master bathroom to reflect the spa feeling that only PQ can deliver.

In today's busy and stressful world, we all search for new ways to experience relaxation and sleep better. After a long day, we all long to slip into our bed at night and feel the touch of butter-soft sheets and have our stress melt away as we sink into our featherbed and feel the pure white goose down comforter surround us.

There are several ways to partake in the Private Quarters experience. You can buy directly through a consultant's website, you can host a party in your home, you can host a catalog party, or you can become a PQCC yourself. These are all great ways to jump start the holiday season. You can get hostess gifts for parties or discounts for being a PQCC.

Believe me when I say this is something you will want to share with friends and family. For more information please click on any of the links above...and tell her Annie sent ya!!!

Christmas Cards

2009-11-13T15:36:53-08:00

I am keeping this post on top through the holidays so everyone will have easy access to the FREE CARD link.

There is no denying it, Christmas is coming whether you are ready or not. I for one am not ready except in the Christmas Card department. This is usually where I fall down in my holiday duties, but not this year. I have discovered the best way to send out cards efficiently, cost effectively and without skimping on quality. Actually, the quality is better than store bought cards!

Here are a few bullet points about this tool that might get your attention:

Over 15,000 cards to choose from in the card catalog
You can send a printed greeting card in less than 60 seconds
You can personalize with your own message
You can upload your own handwriting font
Online Contact Manager that you can access from any computer
Cards are printed, stuffed, stamped and mailed for you
You can include gifts and gift cards with your cards
Choose from postcards, 2-sided or 3-sided cards
Glossy or Matte finish
Schedule cards to be sent for a certain time
Calendar and upcoming events reminder
You can upload your own photos to your cards
You can upload your own designs from other programs
You can send a card for less than a $1

Phew....that's a lot of great points on the subject, huh? I even forgot a few like you can make money at home with this card program if you choose. WOW!!!

Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer, click on this link and you can check out this awesome program by sending a FREE Card.

Here are a few examples of some nice holiday cards...

Turkey Day Countdown

2009-11-09T11:52:23-08:00

Thanksgiving Countdown Clockgreat free widgetsWidgetboxMore info

The Vue personal video network

2009-10-04T17:32:42-07:00

Wondering what is going on at home or in the office while you are away? Avaak, a leader in the supply of ultra low-power easy-to-use, wire-free video technology has just launched its Vue™ personal video network. Combining real-time remote video viewing and Internet connectivity, the wire-free Vue system is a network of small, magnetic mounted, battery-powered wireless cameras with a range of up to 300 feet that can transmit an estimated one million frames on a single battery.

via www.gizmag.com

This would be the perfect "Nanny Cam" or baby monitor. This will even enable small business owners to keep an eye on things. Hollywood CSIs are going to love this don't you think?

Follow me

2009-08-23T00:24:07-07:00

If any of you are interested in the MonaVie business or products, please follow me over to my new blog dedicated to MonaVie and all the great news that it is creating worldwide! The Cafe MonaVie!!

It just keeps getting better...

2009-05-28T10:37:15-07:00

I try to avoid doing back to back posts about MonaVie mostly because I know many people just aren't interested, but this just can't be helped. MonaVie has had a very exciting week and it just keeps getting better. I would be amiss in my duties as a good blogger if I did not share this information with you.

MonaVie on the Move:

MonaVie congratulates Tomas Scheckter and Will Power for their amazing performances at this year’s Indianapolis 500. Tomas Scheckter, driving the No. 19 MonaVie car placed 12th overall, while Will Power finished in fifth place. Of the 33 drivers who began the race, only 20 finished, including Scheckter and Power. After starting from the 26th position, Scheckter used his excellent race management skills to gain several positions throughout the day and push for a strong finish.
Millions of television viewers who tuned in to watch the Indianapolis 500 on ABC, ESPN, and VERSUS got their first glimpse of MonaVie E^MV. Tomas Scheckter became an instant fan favorite, as thousands got online to wish him luck in the days leading up to the big race. Sports websites from Motorcar.com to ESPN.com broadcasted the news that MonaVie is, indeed, on the move. Now, everyone is ready for the next Wave of MonaVie E^MV!

Now for the really cool news....63% of the top 75 in the World top Income earners in Network Marketing come from Mona Vie… Still Questioning whether or not this company is going to be big??? Here are some MONTHLY income figures:

1    Lita & Brig Hart    Monavie*    $573,411
2    Gina & Steve Merritt    Monavie*    $407,389

3    Rolf Kipp    For Ever Living Products    $400,000
4    Mike Dillard    Magnetic Sponsoring    $395,000
5    Barry Chi & Holly Chen    Amway    $375,000
6    Sherman Unkefer    Xango    $350,000
7    Jay Kubassek    CarbonCopyPro    $300,000
8    Charlie & Debbie Kalb    Monavie*    $292,000
9    Darrell & Tracy Utterbach    Monavie*    $292,000
10    Kelly Bangert    Monavie*    $292,000
11    Ron & Brenda Prudhomme    Monavie*    $292,000
12    Scott and Sue Olsen    Monavie*    $292,000
13    Corbin & Holly Roush    Monavie*    $270,168
14    Dexter Yager    Amway    $250,000
15    Max Schwarz    Amway    $250,000
16    Jeff Roberti    NSA-Juiceplus    $250,000
17    Dave Johnson    Nikken    $250,000
18    Onyx Coale & Robert Addie    Monavie*    $223,984
19    Peter & Eva Muller-Meerkatz    Amway    $175,000
20    Kaoru Nakajima    Amway    $165,000
21    Sunny Su & Debra Hsu Hsieh    Amway    $165,000
22    Margie Aliprandi    Neways    $165,000
23    Rita Hui    USANA    $160,000
24    Alan Lorrenz    Herbalife    $150,000
25    Collette Larsen    USANA    $150,000
26    Zachary Ross    USANA    $150,000
27    Art and Terry Manville    Xango    $150,000
28    Craig Bryson    Nu Skin    $150,000
29    Ken Pontious    Enrich (Numico)    $150,000
30    Orin Woodward    Monavie*    $150,000
31    Tom Alkazin    Vemma    $145,000
32    Randy Gage    Agel    $140,000
33    Ruth Elliot    Vemma    $135,000
34    Amy & Tim Marks    Monavie*    $129,000
35    Anthony & Megan Wolfenden    Monavie*    $129,000
36    Bob & Linda Robinson    Monavie*    $129,000
37    Brian & Jacqueline Thayer    Monavie*    $129,000
38    Brian & Jill Cattano    Monavie*    $129,000
39    Calvin Becerra & Casey Chavez    Monavie*    $129,000
40    Carol & Ken Porter    Monavie*    $129,000
41    Carrie & Bo van Pelt    Monavie*    $129,000
42    Carrie & Godon Dickie    Monavie*    $129,000
43    Carrie & Jason Lyons    Monavie*    $129,000
44    Devon Robinson    Monavie*    $129,000
45    Ed & Shelly Aristizabel    Monavie*    $129,000
46    Eric & Rebekah Gutman    Monavie*    $129,000
47    Franck & Tina Dupart    Monavie*    $129,000
48    Frank & Cindy Sounicek    Monavie*    $129,000
49    Grayson Maule    Monavie*    $129,000
50    Jill & Mark Ewell    Monavie*    $129,000
51    John & Barbara Sims    Monavie*    $129,000
52    Kathleen Deggelman    Monavie*    $129,000
53    Linda & Bob Robinson    Monavie*    $129,000
54    Mark & Tami Crawford    Monavie*    $129,000
55    Matthew & Kimberley Curtis    Monavie*    $129,000
56    Patrice & Joseph Licciardi    Monavie*    $129,000
57    Penny & Andre Walton    Monavie*    $129,000
58    Phil & Jennifer Sack    Monavie*    $129,000
59    Rob & Lisa Alwin    Monavie*    $129,000
60    Rodney & Adonica Howard-Browne    Monavie*    $129,000
61    Rodney Howard    Monavie*    $129,000
62    Ronn & Janich Prpich    Monavie*    $129,000
63    Sandra & Angel Matos    Monavie*    $129,000
64    Shelly & Ed Aristizabal    Monavie*    $129,000
65    Sheree & Steven Burton    Monavie*    $129,000
66    Stephanie & Todd Smith    Monavie*    $129,000
67    Teresa & Scott Henry    Monavie*    $129,000
68    Tim Wilson    Monavie*    $129,000
69    Todd & Angelique Hartog    Monavie*    $129,000
70    Vick & Mick Karshner    Monavie*    $129,000
71    Kang Hyeon Sook & Ryu InIk    Amway    $125,000
72    Leonard & Esther Kim    Amway    $125,000
73    Tissa Godavitarne    Tissa    $125,000
74    Bill & Peggy Britt    Amway    $120,000
75    Jim & Nancy Dornan    Amway    $120,000

ENERGY...to the power of MonaVie!!

2009-05-21T18:46:06-07:00

Free Enrollment is still being offered by MonaVie, so anyone who would like to earn some extra money while getting an excellent energy drink at wholesale prices...now is the time!!

*MonaVie E release date TBA

Let's talk about Facebook...

2009-05-04T10:38:47-07:00

Last year, about the time both kids left for college and beyond, I decided to join this social network called Facebook. My sole reason for joining was to keep in contact with the kids and to be able to chat with them live and just kind of know what they are doing without expecting too much from them in the way of actual communication. I have also had a lot of bloggers recommend Facebook for networking.
And so it began...I loaded my profile with some pertinent personal info, and I invited a few people to be my friend. After just a few hours I had more friends than I realized. Most of them were relatives (some of which I didn't know I had) and the rest of them were friends of my kids,but still, it was pretty intriguing. Navigating around the site can get a little tricky because you are always being lured to games and quizzes and advertisements and can easily click on the wrong thing and end up in cyber hell on a virtual date with a Russian porn star.

As I became more familiar with my new Facebook surroundings, I was able to find some pretty fun things to get into. This is not just a social site, but it has many activities to keep you busy and addicted. The first thing that happened was one of my good friends sent me a horse for my Farm. What Farm? I didn't even know I had a Farm, let alone animals I had to care for. At first I was afraid it was like those Tamagotchis that you had to feed and care for or else it would die. I was seriously thinking of "unfriending" this person that thought I needed one more thing to care for. She finally assured me it was just a silly gift and there was no attention required on my part. She was almost right. As I dove deeper into Facebook, I found that not only should I be planting and harvesting on my Farm, but I now also have a Lil' Blue Cove with exotic fish and a Lil' Green Patch with flowers and plants. My cove gets cloudy and gets trash in it and I have to clean it. My patch gets squirrels and weeds and digging dogs in it and I have to tend to it. Yikes!! My own house and yard are already suffering due to my newly found addiction, but now I am suppose to care for something that isn't actually in my true reality.

These Facebook creators really know how to reach out and grab everyone. I saw some of my friends taking silly quizzes about their personalities and what celebrity they should be and I thought they were all very bored or else sinking into a deep depression. Then it happened... I came across a Disney trivia quiz, then a Twilight trivia quiz and then a "What is your vampire name" questionaire. I figured a few cute little questions wouldn't hurt, but unfortunately that leads to "What Brady Bunch character are you"?, "What T.V. Mom are you"?, and "What state should you be living in"? Really? This is what what my life has come to? I think Facebook is actually creating a false reality so that we all forget what a mess the economy is in not to mention the people that should be out looking for jobs instead of tending to fake Farms and Coves.

I talked my hubby into signing up (actually I created an account for him against his wishes) so that he could keep up with the kids and possibly find some old friends. I also thought this would be fun to send some love "Flair" while he was traveling. Flair is another word for cutesy buttons with fun sayings on them. This quickly became my favorite thing to do...send Flair!!!

It didn't take hubby long before he discoverd the "dark side" of Facebook. He was contacted by his ex-wife who not only wanted to be friends, but wanted to know more about his life and family, blah blah blah!! He didn't want anything to do with that and quickly retreated from any contact with her.

On the other hand, I have been able to re-connect with friends from High School that I thought were long gone from my life. It really warms my heart to be able to chat with them and share our life experiences and reminisce about our old friendships and the fun we had. This is what I think Facebook should really be about. I have also dug up some family that I didn't know I had and that is really nice as we grow older.

So, despite the many silly distractions, I thoroughly enjoy Facebook and I am very thankful for the friends that I have reunited with. Sometimes, I even get to talk to my kids and see what they are up to!!

Dexter's Birthday!

2009-04-10T19:29:09-07:00

Most of you probably remember me like this when I was very small...

Well, today is my birthday and I am not so small anymore...

I am 1 year old today and I am a very big boy weighing in at 81 pounds. We went to PetSmart today and I picked out a new toy. Then we went to Arby's and I got some curly fries because they are my favorite!! Everyone thinks I am a little spoiled but I like things the way they are!

Why I don't fish....

2009-04-08T12:01:38-07:00

Click to play...I don't usually make it a habit of posting many videos, but this one really made me laugh and just confirms why I don't fish. Thanks Dad!!!

Is this how the "Chaos Theory" works?

2009-04-06T13:39:14-07:00

I am sure some of you have seen this before, but it totally cracked me up so I thought I would share it.